FRANK GALLAGHER: (VOICEOVER) Now, nobody's
saying that Chatsworth Estate is the garden of Eden,
but it's been a good home to us-- to me,
Frank Gallagher-- and my kids, who I'm proud of.
'Cause every single one of them reminds me a little of me.
They can all think for themselves, which
they have me to thank for.
Run, run for it!
Leg It!
FRANK GALLAGHER: (VOICEOVER) Fiona,
owner, who's a massive help.
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him
Phillip anymore.
Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others
because she's disappeared into thin air.
And Carl, we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons--
One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah, two,
nits love it. Debbie.
[screaming]
Sent by God, total angel.
You have to check your change, but she'll go miles out
of the way to do you a favor.
Plus Liam, gonna be a star, once we've
got the fits under control.
[screaming]
Sheila, my bird.
Couldn't be happier.
One place short of a full set, like.
Fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica.
[fireworks]
Lend you anything.
Well, not anything.
But all of them to a man know, first and foremost,
one the most vital necessities in this life
is to know how to throw a party.
[laughing]
Scatter!
Come.
GIRL: (VOICEOVER) Psychologists believe that those to whom evil
is done, do evil in return.
[laughing]
Pig scum!
In you go.
Get in.
No, no, no!
No!
GIRL: (VOICEOVER) But I prefer an old Indian proverb--
those who bring happiness into the lives of others
cannot keep it from themselves.
[grunting]
Looking at that won't keep you out of prison.
Get dressed, we've got work to do.
Are you ready yet?
I'm coming.
[vomiting]
[coughing]
If you've got morning breath, you could have just said.
[sighs]
Are you OK?
I can't smoke, I can't drink.
Every morning I'm hugging porcelain.
How can they call this natural?
Listen, if you want to forget about going away this weekend.
Not a chance.
If I'm going to be puking my guts up,
I may as well be doing it somewhere beautiful.
Oh God.
[vomiting]
A romantic trip away, oh, I'm envious.
Yeah, well you can't come, 'cause it's just me and her.
CAROL: Where's he taking you?
Don't know, Carol.
It's a surprise.
CAROL: Last time a bloke took me away,
I ended up in a power cut in Rhyl.
It could have been erotic, had he not
insisted on calling me Cheryl.
[laughing]
CRAIG: All right, smart ass, give it back.
What? CRAIG: The toast.
Don't know what you're talking about.
Come on, Carl.
Got to leave in half an hour.
[laughing]
LIP: You looking for toast, Craig?
Mmm.
[laughing]
Hey guys.
If anyone laughs, it's coming off.
[sighs]
Marty, where's your tie?
I couldn't remember how many times the fox
went 'round the farmyard.
Three, And then into its den.
You look great, Marty.
What job is it you've got the interview for, Marty?
Traffic warden.
Council are an equal opportunities employers.
That'll make a change.
Traffic warden calling the car drivers a cunt.
[laughing]
Bullsheg!
What the fuck was that?
Something we've been working on.
To manage his Tourette's for the court case.
It's all about replacing rude words with nicer ones.
Oh!
We're going to paint that he's a reformed character.
Don't knock it, I haven't had a bucketbiff in days.
[laughing]
What you up in court for, Marty?
Not been setting fire to things again, have you?
No, weren't even my fault. It's that stupid bitch
in the post office, looking down her nose at me,
making sarky comments every time I cash my giant--
stupid soft kittens!
She needed telling.
Just a shame they had CCTV.
Ever speak to me like that again, and I'll burn your down,
you evil, ugly, patronizing bitch!
[crashing]
But But once the courts see that you're
a respectable hardworking member of society,
they'll have no choice but acquittal.
[laughing]
Time I went, eh?
Bullsheg!
[grunts]
Hey, hey, hey, just let it roll.
The more would up you get, the more they like it.
I'm looking for Kev Ball.
You want next door, number six.
Trouble with these houses, they all look the same.
He's not still shacked up with that gobby peroxide bitch,
is he?
Veronica.
Mmm, that's her.
Mouth like the bleeding Mersey.
[cat meows]
Who's that?
Dunno.
The sooner you and me get some time to ourselves, the better.
Can't believe you're here.
Last I heard, you were in Pathos with Big Balls Benny.
Ditched him as soon as I got out there.
Got myself a nice little bar job, apartment on the beach,
and as much cock as I could handle.
Sun, sex, and sangria.
thought I were in heaven, Kev.
So why are you back?
Because, Blondie, I fell in love.
Bloke called Jack, Jack Russell.
You know, like the dog.
And as soon as I set eyes on him, I knew.
I just knew.
Got a light?
KEV: What happened?
It's all gone wrong, Kev.
[crying]
I'm sorry.
Oh, hey, come here.
And tell your big brother--
[crying]
He's a fucking junkie.
Oh, Jesus.
Not heroin.
Didn't he watch Grange Hill?
I said, "Jack, I love you.
But either it goes, or I do."
[sirens]
Got any sugar for this?
No way, Kev, absolute--
no way am I having her in my house.
Veronica, she's my little sister,
I can't just chuck her out on the street.
Oi, oi, oi, hang on a minute.
The amount of shit that I've had to put up
with, with your family, with your mother,
and her fellas, and Marty.
Marty, and his bleeding bonfires.
Fairs, fair, right?
You can't send her back to a junkie.
Couple of days.
But if She calls me Blondie again, I swear, Kev, I'll--
[sighing]
I'm a good human being with a great deal to offer.
I am a good human being with a great deal to offer.
[doorbell]
I am a--
I am a good human being with a great deal to offer.
Hiya, I was looking for Craig.
Crackerjack!
Sorry.
I'm looking for Craig, Craig Garland.
Is this the right house?
Yeah.
Well, sort of, but there's no one in.
Right, only there's a bit of a crisis at home,
so if you see him.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Sue, by the way.
Marty.
So are you like, a mate?
Mate?
God, no, sorry, hasn't he told you?
I'm his wife.
[music playing]
I am a good human being.
I am good--
I am a bullshit motherfucker!
Flat out on the bed, like Lady Muck
in the middle of the bleeding day,
with my bathrobe on, cheeky cow!
Oh, I swear to God, Fiona, I hate her.
I know she's Kev's sister, but if I see her, I'm gonna--
Marty!
He should have been back hours ago.
Why, where's he gone?
Job interview.
We're trying to get him on the straight and narrow
for the court thing next week.
Bloody hell, Debs.
Know when you're beat.
He's had psychologists, psychotherapists,
cognitive behavioral assessments,
and they all come out to the same conclusion--
he's off his bleeding lolly.
DEBBIE: Why doesn't anyone give him a chance?
All he wants us to be accepted, to be
treated like everybody else.
[screaming]
Marty you're making a big mistake!
Not as big as yours, you two-timing piece of shit.
Oh Jesus, no!
Not content with one beautiful woman, no, you've got two!
Marty! [crashing]
Shit!
Guess what Marty's discovered, big secret, I'm married!
Is that it?
What?
Marty, everyone knows that.
CRAIG: Prick.
No one told me.
Wife appears, I thought you were doing her dirty.
It's over, has been for ages.
So why are you still living with her, then?
Because she won't move out, and it's my dad's
fucking house.
She's gorgeous.
Marty, tell me you went to the interview.
[slam]
This was supposed to be a surprise.
Get in, start it up.
Bloody hell, I didn't even think it had an engine!
Is this leading where I think it's leading.
Mm-hmm, me and you, the open road.
There's nowt more romantic than the camper van.
You've obviously never stayed in a five-star hotel, then.
It's not exactly what I had in mind.
You'll put up with anything when the sex is fresh.
[laughing] KELLY: Blondie!
There's no hot water!
How do you turn the immersion on?
I'll fucking kill her.
If you'd rather go and stay in a B&B somewhere.
No, no, it's great, honest.
I just think we might have to fumigate it first.
Craig.
Your wife's at the front door.
[grunting]
You're living here now, then?
Where I sleep's my business.
You've not been home in over a week.
- Home? - Well, you know.
Oh, you mean my dad's house, the place
that you want half of.
You actually wanting something, or is this just a social visit?
Boiler's playing up, place is like an icebox.
Yeah, well you know that book with
the brightly colored pages?
And how much is that going to cost?
All right, I'll sort it.
You'll have to wait until after the weekend.
we're going on holiday.
Send me a postcard.
If that boiler is bust, I'm Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Boo!
[screams]
No, no, no.
I'm sorry.
It's me, from earlier.
I didn't mean to scare you.
It's all right.
God, you took me by surprise, that's all.
So you managed to find him this time, then, your husband?
Sugar lumps!
Don't hide it for my benefit.
Your Tourette's.
Lad at our school had it, Phillip Trent.
Everyone used to call him Fuck Off Phil.
People only think it's weird when
they don't know what it is.
I better get back.
For what it's worth, I think he's an idiot.
He must be, to let someone like you slip through his fingers.
Marty, wasn't it?
Horse sex!
Can't believe you're bringing your own firewood.
Camping trip ain't a camping trip without a campfire.
I built them all the time when I was a kid.
Used to set fire to my sister's dolls
when she would get me angry.
Hiya.
You're taking the piss.
Before you're get your knickers in a twist,
I'm not here for you.
They're going on a date.
Who's going on a date?
Ta-da.
Look at this handsome devil.
You're like a young Bruce Willis.
Long time since I've been courted.
Take my advice, Fiona.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
All right, what's the game?
Game Game?
I'm going on a date.
Didn't know there were a law against it.
Convenient.
Just happened to bag a bloke who lives in the same house.
What difference does it make?
Anyone would think you still had feelings for me.
Shall we?
See you, Debbie.
DEBBIE: See ya.
Don't wait up.
Having a girlfriend's got to be good for his court case.
I'm going chestnut brown.
New life, new look, that's my model.
It looks like a dirty bleeding protest.
You ever thought of changing color?
The '80s, that look, isn't it?
Is it?
Oh yeah, Sharon Stone, Madonna, they were all it then.
Fucking hell, I think your bloke's hanging about outside.
You're joking.
Tall, skinny, a bit Iggy Pop.
Well for God's sake, don't let him in.
If he's not had a fix, he gets violent.
[knocking]
Marie!
Hey Marie, I know you're in there, come on down.
I've got to be at work in 10 minutes.
I'll have to shoot out the front.
I'm coming with you.
You're not leaving me with him!
[crashing]
It's your shot.
Which one am I'm going for?
Go for that red one, it's the bottom corner.
It should go in, that.
But if you sort of lean over, and get right on the cue.
That's it, and then get it just between your fingers, there.
Yeah.
Go in there.
Oh!
I think I've had too much wine.
Rubbish, the more you drink, the better
you get at this game. Shut it!
Ah!
[laughing]
[machine beeping]
[coins dropping] - Jackpot!
[laughing]
And it had a little wind chime.
Twisted freak.
How can sticking a needle in your arm be normal?
Tell me.
Who sees that as normal?
I know, but love's blind, Frank.
Look at Kev with Veronica.
Kid You're not telling me he couldn't do better.
A word from the wise, get your stuff out quick sharp,
otherwise he'll have your stereo in his veins
before you can say Dolby Surround Sound.
KEV: Yeah, all right, Frank.
We're dealing with it.
FRANK: Yes, but when.
Druggie, Kev.
We're talking desperation, we're talking scum of the earth.
No, thing is, I can't.
I mean, I ain't got a van or anything, so--
Right, no problem.
Eamonn, Eamonn!
Hey, how would you fancy being this young lady's
knight in shining armor.
Depends.
Is there a pint in it for me?
Spunk face, bucket of spunk.
What else do you do?
Piss flaps, donkey dick, donkey dick!
[laughing]
Come on, I want to show you something.
[music playing]
Bucket!
[laughs]
You ready?
Yeah.
Three, two, one.
What am I looking at?
The most beautiful place in the world.
What, that?
To other people it's just a gas tower, but to me, it's--
it's awesome.
Beauty's everywhere.
Just depends whether you choose to see it.
Boner!
Sorry, sorry.
Don't apologize.
That's what makes you who you are.
[fireworks]
Craig must be off his head.
How could he live without that?
Let's go back to yours.
Hey, what's all this?
A few home comforts.
Sneaked in while Jack were out.
Don't look at me, it were Frank's idea.
Oh, figures, might have known you'd stick your nose in.
Goodness of my heart, this rescue mission,
damsel in distress.
You'll stay for a smoke, won't you, Frank?
Few drinks?
Top, yeah.
Don't mind, do you Blondie?
Time's up, Kev.
For fuck's sake!
FRANK: Come down from castle, Rapunzel.
Let down your golden hair.
[giggling]
Ow!
Toss!
[giggling]
Oh!
[giggling]
[sighing]
Suck me cock!
[laughing]
Sorry.
Look, Craig, maybe you've got it wrong,
maybe she really likes him.
I know he's got his problems, but he's a good-looking bloke.
Sheila, I've known her a lot longer than you,
and believe me, she's sticking the knife in.
By pulling Marty?
Oh, Marty.
Kinky boots!
[laughing]
Her presence in this house, it's like poison.
Let her shag him, let her scream the house down.
Why should you care?
[giggling]
See, this is exactly what she wants.
[giggling]
I can't get me--
get your top off.
What?
I can't do this.
My head's all over the place.
We can wait.
We don't have to rush into anything.
No, it isn't that, it's just--
I like you, and I've had a great time, but it's Craig.
What about him?
He's still my husband, Marty.
Yeah, I thought you were all over.
We've been married eight years.
It's comfort more than passion, I suppose,
but you can't just turn it off.
It's all such a mess.
What, you still shagging him?
You mustn't tell Fiona.
Promise me, Marty, you won't tell Fiona.
[knocking]
Marty, no!
Do you want her or not? 'Cause if you don't, let her go!
What are you talking about?
Him, fucking Casanova.
Stringing you both along, wanting it every which way.
- What have you told him? - Nothing!
She told me the truth.
What fucking truth?
About him and her.
He's still shagging her, even though he don't even want her.
You lying--
Stay away from her, I mean it, I'll
break both your fucking legs.
Martin!
No, Fiona, he's messing you around.
He's messing everyone around.
And it's not fair, 'cause--
'cause I could make her happy, and he don't even love her.
When did you last sleep with him?
Fiona!
No, we're having this out.
Tell me, when did you last sleep with him.
I'm not looking to hurt you, Fiona.
When did you last sleep with him?
Last week, last month, last year?
She's telling the truth.
Marty, open your eyes.
She's trying to break us up.
She's fucking using you.
She's not, she wouldn't.
We've kissed.
Did you really think that somebody like her won't be
interested in a freak like you? SUE: Craig!
She is!
Tell him!
Tell me how you feel about me!
Oh, shit.
CRAIG: Jesus, the baby.
Oh shit.
Baby?
You stay there, I'll go and get an ambulance.
I knew it.
You're gonna leave me, aren't you?
You're gonna leave me on my own.
It's like bedlam out here.
Sue, wait!
What's all the racket?
It's nothing, it's OK.
It's OK.
Forget about the ambulance.
Just leave me alone.
Please come back.
[crying]
Prick!
[crying]
Spunk face!
[crying]
[MUSIC - WESTLIFE, "WORLD OF OUR OWN"]
Oh, we've got a little world of our own,
I'll tell you things that no one else knows.
I'll let you in where no one else goes.
What am I doing without you?
I'll tell you things that no one else knows,
I'll let you in no one else goes,
what am I doing without you?
Oh, no.
[chatter]
Fiona!
He's torn his mantra.
He's in court on Monday.
I am going on holiday, what do you want me to do about it?
Oh.
What's up with your sulky chops?
I'm moving out.
I'm not stepping foot in that house
again until that idiot husband of mine
gets rid of that stupid bitch!
[laughing]
The house is covered in tat.
Can I stay at yours, Fiona?
You can have my room 'til I get back.
Whose your mate?
Alfred.
he's the only bloke I can rely on.
Aw.
[cheering]
[music playing]
DEBBIE: Fiona, what about Marty?
Fuck's sake.
Craig, don't.
What is it with you, eh?
Don't you think you've caused enough damage?
Just turn around and go home, because I'm going on holiday
with Fiona, and there's nothing you can say that's going
to alter that, right?
Craig, your dad's dead.
[music playing]
Three years, he's been in that home,
hanging on, and hanging on.
Trust him to pick this week to go.
My dad died day I passed my driving test.
Still, meant I got his Citroen.
Were you close?
Used to be.
Best mates.
And then his head went west.
Dementia.
Last few months, he started calling me Rupert.
[laughing]
It's a terrible thing, losing your father.
Grandad's still alive.
I know, I'm just saying, it's a terrible thing,
losing your father.
Marty's tablet's.
For his hypermania.
He needs to take two, twice a day.
Does no one care?
Still, there's an upside.
The house is mine now, isn't it?
So once I've flogged that off, no more Sue.
I feel like I don't even know him,
V. I've got his baby inside me, and it's like there's
this whole other world--
wife, dad-- that I've never even been a part of.
Give it chance.
It takes time.
I know, but that's the one thing we haven't got,
V. I just wish we'd had a bit more time before all this
had happened.
[music playing]
Cool.
Sorry, Fiona, I've got to go to mine.
[water running]
Show me your arms!
You mad bitch!
Show me your arms, you druggie cow!
Get off me.
Get off me!
FIONA: How'd it go with the undertaker?
CRAIG: Sister shafted me.
By the time I'd got there, she's arranged
a burial, when I specifically told
her that he wanted a cremation.
We stayed up one night, talking.
He told me exactly what he wanted,
a big party, with people enjoying themselves.
Not me and my sister sitting around a coffin,
trying to look fucking mournful.
Guess where they've come from.
A diabetic?
Kelly Marie's bag.
Yeah, well, they probably belong
to dog boy, Jack Russell.
I've just seen her scoring.
Tenner says that's why he kicked her out.
Now, wait a minute.
Look, you can accuse our Kel of a lot of things,
but she's not a junkie.
She's wafer-thin, she's always skint,
and you tell me the last time you
saw her in a sleeveless top.
Veronica!
I know you don't like it, but that
is my little sister you're talking about,
and she's not into fucking skag!
We'll see about that.
Oi, oi, what are you on-- what are you on about?
She's going cold turkey.
KELLY: Open the fucking door, now!
Stupid blonde bitch!
[knocking]
Can you fucking hear me?
[crowd chanting]
Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump.
[laughing]
Give us a beer, love.
Have a beer, Craig.
You can have a beer.
You don't normally.
Oh yeah, like I can never have a drink.
[chatter]
[laughing]
We should get Carol playing the guitar.
Quick, it's Marty, he's going to chuck
himself off Sandringham House!
Shit.
[music playing]
[sirens]
[chatter]
DEBBIE: Marty!
Don't do it, get back, Marty.
No, Debbie.
Debbie, no.
DEBBIE: I'm going up.
Get off us.
Let us past.
Stay back!
Marty, come away from the edge.
Whoa.
What's up?
I'm scared of heights.
Let me do the talking.
Get back!
Them people down there, they'd love to see you try and fly.
You'd be the talk of the town for about half an hour.
Don't you think your life's worth more than that, Marty?
Cornflakes!
I just want to be like everybody else.
'Cause that fucker's right, I'm a freak.
And do you know how that feels?
Do you?
Marty, no!
Yeah, come on.
Human misery, you can't get enough of it, eh?
Willing a bloke to chuck himself to his death
so that you can have a bit of fucking entertainment.
Serves you right if he lands on your heads,
you brainless cunts.
Yeah, jump, yeah, jump, come on.
Just stay away, Debs.
I mean it.
No, because if you're going Marty,
I want you to know three things, and you're
not jumping off this building until you've heard them.
We all love you.
Fuck!
You're not a freak, you've got Tourette's.
Craig is really upset that he called you that, aren't you?
You're the best thing that's ever happened to Sue,
she just doesn't know it yet.
Debbie's right, Marty.
She just needs someone to love her.
She's an unhappy person, but she weren't always like that.
She got a good heart.
She'd be luck to have you.
I don't want to go back to prison.
[crying]
Nice one, Debbie.
Show's over.
Yeah, go on, fuck off, you bunch of freaks!
Tossers!
He was a great bloke, Fiona.
He was always there for me.
Whatever.
If I can do half as well with our kid as he did with me, then
I reckon I'll be all right.
I'm a good human being.
[knocking]
Yeah?
Big day tomorrow, Marty.
Yeah, I'm just trying it on so I've got everything perfect.
Make sure you get a good night's sleep.
You want to be fresh in court.
I'm a good human being, I have a great deal to offer.
I am a good human being.
[knocking]
I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you.
[toys squeaking]
I don't know what I'm doing.
Sorry.
Puppies.
KELLY: Let me out you fucking bastards!
Veronica, I need a shit.
Go next door.
You can't keep her in there forever,
she'll starve to death.
She can come out when she admits what she is--
a dirty addict!
[crying]
[screaming]
VERONICA: Oh shut your fucking whining.
[feedback]
[tape spinning]
[yelling]
[screaming]
Fuckin' hell.
How are you feeling?
Go fuck yourself.
Tools of the trade.
Only one thing missing, not that you'd be wanting it.
Kel!
Fuck's sake, Kel.
We've got to get you some help.
A bag would be a start.
Careful with that, though, Kel.
We used that on the curries, it's red hot.
Take me home.
VERONICA: I'll call the doctor.
[crying]
Oh, I can't believe he's gone AWOL again.
What is the matter with him?
Well, don't look at me!
They all blaming the mothers.
I have done my best, Fiona, God knows I have tried my best.
You'll see you when you have your own.
What's happening, where's Marty?
Why would he do this to me?
What if he sneaked out early.
He might have needed a bit of time
to himself, get his head clear.
Ian's right, you know, he might
just go to court by himself.
Well, at least if we're there, we
might be able to stall things.
Come on, there's no point sitting around here, let's go.
Hang on, hadn't someone better wait here, just in case.
I'll wait.
Don't you want to go to court, Deb, in case he shows up?
I've tried my best.
Ugh, what are you doing here?
Coming to pay my respects.
Yeah, someone mentioned the free bar.
It's freezing in here.
Boiler's bust.
Just have to keep each other warm, then.
Mm-hmm.
I wish we could stay here all day.
Cunnilingus!
We can.
Well, until the funeral, but that gives us four hours.
[laughing]
[music playing]
If he's not going to show, we should get over to yours,
and get the ale flowing.
Frank.
Solicitor says he can't stall it any longer.
If he's not here in two minutes, they'll file it as no-show.
They'll put him away, won't they?
All that bleeding effort, and they're
just going to throw him inside.
[moaning]
Oh God, Marty.
The last time I've come like that,
it's been battery-operated.
What are you doing tomorrow night?
No!
Eh, come here.
He's here.
Yeah, look at that, runs like a dream.
Hey!
[chatter]
Where have you been, spudhead?
- I overslept, that's all. - Court two.
Your solicitor's name is Tom Vickers,
you've got about 30 seconds.
Good luck.
Oo-wee.
Thanks, Debs.
Good luck.
I love a happy ending.
FRANK: Will this piece of shit make it to yours, Craig?
Craig!
[music playing]
[clinking glass]
I'd like to propose a toast.
Here's to a good man.
He deserves kind words today, and eternal happiness.
To Marty's freedom.
[all cheering]
Marty's freedom.
[cheering]
Congratulations, Marty.
There you are, Marty, mate.
Thanks.
Look at her face.
Serves her right for stitching me dad up.
All he wanted was a cremation.
Promised to spread his ashes on the county pitch.
Burial?
He was fucking claustrophobic.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like
to make your way out to your waiting cars now, please.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Fucking hell.
VERONICA: Marty, what have you done.
Craig!
What'd I tell you?
Fucking spudhead.
Everyone should go the way they want to go.
[laughing]
An hour out of court, and you're pulling this?
His dad wanted a cremationm he did.
Get a hold of that, our Trace.
We should have a drink, shouldn't we?
Hey!
I've just had that bastard MOT'd!
[laughing]
Holy camoly!
DEBBIE: (VOICEOVER) Thousands of pounds of cognitive therapy,
and all Marty really wanted was someone he could love.
Which, when you think about it is all anyone really wants.
[explosion]
[cheering]
[coughing]
Steve's back.
KEV AND VERONICA: (SINGING) Congratulations
and jubilations.
[screaming]
I want the world to know I'm happy as can be.
I want the world to know.
Tell him to stay the fuck away from me, you, or any of us.
I shot him, OK?
It was me, all right?
[theme music]
[birds chirping]
[cow mooing]
Morning.
[knocking]
Thought you might want a brew.
[sheep bleating]
[dog barking]
[sirens]