[music playing]
FRANK: Now, nobody's saying that Chatsworth
Estate is the Garden of Eden.
But it's been a good home to us-- to me,
Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who I'm proud of.
Because every single one of them reminds me a little of me.
They can all think for themselves, which
they have me to thank for. - Come on.
Run for it. - Quick.
Leg it.
FRANK: Fiona, who's a massive help.
Lip, whose a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody
calls him Philip anymore.
Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others,
because she's disappeared into thin air.
And Carl-- we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons--
one, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah; two,
nits love it.
Debbie-- sent my God, total angel.
You have to check your change, but she'll go miles out
of her way to do you a favor.
Plus Liam-- gonna be a star once we've
got the fits and the control.
Steve-- Fiona's boyfriend.
The truth is out there-- not.
Fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica-- lend you
anything-- well, not anything.
But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost one
of the most vital necessities in this life
is to know how to throw a party.
[laughs] Scatter!
VERONICA: After three years of having
the Gallaghers as neighbors, I can honestly
say it's been an education.
I used to think we were off till they moved in.
Made me and Kev feel like Charles and Camilla.
I've never gloated about the fact
that we were quieter, a bit better off, and a lot more
stable, which I'm regretting now, because I
might never get the chance.
You tell me how a family that size with no visible income
ends up with a nearly new 4x4, [inaudible] house,
brand new fittings, and more nights
out than Georgie fucking Best.
Most days, I wake up feeling happy for them.
Others I wish Margaret Thatcher was still alive, you know,
mentally.
It'd give them a good [inaudible]
and put them in their place. No, I don't mean that.
Well, I do a bit, do I?
I do actually a little bit, icky little bit-- ah, fuck it, yeah.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Hey.
I'm not late, am I?
No I've got an earlier bus.
I fancied a look around before we went in.
FATHER POLISH: Mm, mm.
So Father Polish, what are the origins of that name?
Polish.
When were you last in church, Fiona?
Sunday.
Yes, but which?
1994.
And you're not even a Catholic?
No.
Look, does it matter?
A great deal.
You'd have to convert.
Well, that's fine.
Done.
After lessons--
10 weeks of instruction every Thursday evening with me.
And I expect to see you both make a visible commitment
to the church--
one mass a week for three months.
I was kind of hoping for a spring wedding.
Well, have a spring weeding next year.
Look, the very least I'd want to know is that you're not just
marrying here because you think a civil ceremony is
a cheap and vulgar option for you big day.
What if I could get the whole family to come
for the next three Sundays?
Would that give us any leeway?
It would make me smile, but only if you
left your father at home.
Spate of thefts in '97.
All right, so basically what you're saying
is it's out of the question that we get married
here in less than three months.
It's a dwindling parish.
The basic rules are all we have to bind
a very poor community together.
$500 now, 5 on the day.
I can't believe you stole me for a grand.
Plus, right, when you nipped to the loo, $200 for the flower
displays, $100 for the organist, and $50 for someone
to watch the cars while we we're in having the service.
It's ridiculous.
I can't remember where I parked the car now.
You were parked there.
[sirens]
Who's took my car?
Who the fuck has taken my car?
Stop it, or we'll both get battered.
[dialing]
We won't get a taxi out here.
When was the last time you got the bus?
Fuck!
FATHER POLISH: Bye, Fiona.
See you, Father.
FATHER POLISH: God Bless.
We don't do refunds.
Off, you fucking little rat.
Off.
Get off.
[dog growling]
Off.
bastard.
[dog barks]
Ah, fuck!
[groans] Fuck!
Fine.
What's the point of building wardrobes
if what's in them makes her look like Nanette
Newman on "Laughing Gas"?
Come here, you little shit.
You're dead.
[laughter]
Dead dog.
[laughter]
Sneaked me undies again.
He's bitten me again.
He hasn't nicked them.
MARTY: Furball.
He's sticking them in the wash because he doesn't like
the smell of rotting gusset.
Call him picky.
And I wear what?
Clean garments.
Clean ones, Pepe.
Show him where. [barks]
Show.
[whistles]
[laughter]
[dog whimpers]
[barks]
MAN: Dead dog.
[barks]
Furball.
[chatter]
KEV: You're joking, aren't you?
Right outside of church?
IAN: It's not a first.
Julie [inaudible] had her wedding car nicked
during the actually ceremony.
CARL: Yeah, but not one nicked in the first place.
Oy, give me that.
Answer the door, and keep your mouth shut.
Watch your mouth.
Tony!
[cheering]
TONY: Sorry I'm late.
I had to do a bit of over time.
Well, now you know what it feels like to lose
a valuable motor, Steve.
Make you think twice about your career path.
I wanna know who took it and who's got it now.
If it was that simple, I'd be an inspector.
Two grand cash, Tony, if you can track it.
I'll put feelers out.
[sighs]
[keys jingling]
I left something of sentimental value in there.
I see.
[cheering]
So the wedding-- when's it set for?
Last Saturday of the month.
Congratulations, mate.
Yeah.
If I find it, do you want him arrested?
No, not before you talk to me.
I know, my darlings, I know.
[dog whimpering]
She keeps talking to herself.
Yeah, well, it saves us the job, doesn't it?
It's the dog.
She thinks the fucking dog's talking to her.
You're not cheering me up here, Marty.
Yeah, but it is.
Because it talks to me and all.
If he don't like what you're doing,
he drives you mad to get on your case.
He's on me all the time taking a piss.
[dog whimpering]
[MUSIC PLAYING - TOM JONES, "PLEASE RELEASE ME"]
[dog whimpering]
I know.
Tom Jones was always too much of a show-off
to be a soul-searcher.
[dog whimpering]
(SINGING) --let me go.
[door opens]
FRANK: (SINGING) But I don't love you anymore.
Hey, get down, [inaudible].
One of the finest songs ever written
in the English language, this carol.
[inaudible]
[dog yips]
[growls] A pint of bitter, and a couple of these for the dog,
Kev. (SINGING) Where's your momma gone?
Where's your momma gone?
Used to sing that the kids When Monica fucked off.
Never a dry eye in the house-- shot upstairs howling,
they all did.
[dog growling]
What?
Oh, here we go, men in black, hard as nails,
the future of our nation.
Have you got me house keys, Veronica?
MARTY: Couple of [inaudible] for the lads, Jess.
- You 18? - Yeah.
Veronica, is your mom OK?
Fucker.
Yeah, she seems happy.
- [barks]
Sorry I asked.
[laughter]
Whoa, do that again.
Huh?
That-- what you just-- that thing that you just--
you know, with you face-- what you just said to Lip.
I just said, sorry I asked it.
[laughter]
How gay is that?
No it's not.
It was a bit gay.
Well, you're not gay, are you?
No.
Oh, Jesus, he is. He's gay.
Fuck me.
LIP: You don't know what you're talking about.
FRANK: He is. He must be.
If I'd have said that to anybody else,
they'd have planted me one.
Oh, I'm having a flashback to [inaudible]..
Fuck's sake. [thud]
[glass shatters]
Ugh.
JESS: Fuck's sake, get up Frank.
Now, you're talking.
Thank Christ for that.
Come here.
Growing up, eh?
Growing up.
Can' you tell when they're growing up?
JESS: Yeah. They're banned.
[thud]
[sirens]
What's the matter?
You got away with it.
I didn't He can tell.
He knows.
Come on.
It's all right.
We're going to see Mandy McGuire.
[door opens and closes]
MAN: Hi, John.
Hi, Tony.
[inaudible] mate.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[rustling]
Are you right in the fucking head?
What have you nicked his car for?
Because I'm sick of that creep getting everything his own way.
What, because she said she'll marry him?
Yeah, plus other stuff.
It was just a joke at first, because he
thinks I'm not capable.
Yeah, well, now that you've joined the club,
congratulations.
Now, put it back, and count me out.
I know nothing about this.
Stan.
How much is that?
$150-odd grand.
I found it in the roof compartment.
You reckon Steve earns this much nicking the odd motor?
It depends how good he is at saving.
Coke?
He's dealing.
Oh, give over.
I've seen more gear than that shifted in The Jockey
on the weekend.
Fuck me.
[chatter, laughing]
FIONA: Lilian, you sure you can get
the dresses ready for Saturday?
[laughter]
[inaudible] should have had a wee.
[chatter]
DEBBIE: What is it?
It's Pepe's waistcoat for the wedding.
Aw.
Oh, it's beautiful.
CAROL: But the only hat we've found he's
not that thrilled about.
It makes him look like a chimp.
Mom, it's a church.
Fiona's not going to want a dog yapping all
the way through the ceremony.
He won't yap.
He doesn't yap.
VERONICA: He's not invited.
CAROL: Carol and guest.
Meaning Marty.
His says the same, meaning you.
If I had a husband, he'd be totally ignored.
Your husband's dead.
And Pepe is a dog.
He's a lot cheaper than a husband
if it's catering we're talking about,
and a little bit more talkative, which, you know,
Veronica, I'm very grateful for.
I'm getting worried about you.
I want to see a doctor.
What the hell for?
Because you're sounding pretty confused some days.
Am ?
No more than normal.
Pepe can come, Carol.
Of course he can come.
And the waistcoat looks fab.
See?
Thank you, Fiona.
You're not helping.
I just want you to get checked out.
They say there's medication that can help,
and the sooner they start it, the better it works.
For what?
For what grandma had?
Colostomy?
Confusion.
Look, I know you miss your Malcolm,
but you've got to face facts.
A dog is not going to make up for the loss
of a lifelong friend.
Who's Malcom?
Your dead husband!
My dead dad!
You don't have to shout.
I know who that Malcom is.
You didn't till I fucking told you, though, did you?
[groans]
Groom and boys next.
Come on.
Who exports drugs from round here?
I mean, nobody exports from Britain.
We're the only mugs daft enough to pay these kind of prices,
same with flat-screen tellies.
So how come I find a ferry ticket from Bilbao
in the glove compartment, then?
[inaudible] more tin in than rin tin tin.
This is for a totally different vehicle, you mong.
TONY: It's the same model.
Yeah, and apart from different color
and different registration, hey, these cars could be twins.
TONY: Don't be thick.
He rings cars for a living, changing
the color, registration, and rest
of its obvious characteristics is
what Steve does for a living.
At some time or other, this car's been abroad.
Why?
So's mine.
I'm not talking about car park in Wrexham.
Steve's car is coming to Britain from Spain.
What's that saying, hey?
Time share.
[sighs]
[party]
KEV: Let's have it.
Come on.
Get on that beat.
[laughter]
Sorry, Lilian, love.
Sorry, Lilian.
KEV: Lilian.
FRANK: [sighs] OK, go for it.
[laughter]
I don't why I'm laughing, because I'm having a flashback
to strange ways here.
- Ooh! - Ooh!
Ooh!
Hey, [inaudible] Frank.
FRANK: All right.
All right.
Our Fiona was my first born.
[inaudible] It's a happy day and sad day for us
all to see her marrying Steve--
- Steve! - Steve-o!
Steve-o!
FRANK: Starting a brand new life.
She's guided all of us through difficult times.
But as a family and for each of us,
she has been a total godsend.
And we couldn't have managed without her.
LILIAN: That's what you said.
FRANK: We can all say from the bottom of our heart
that she is really the other half of all of us.
Frank, Us honestly-- that's--
fucking I'm welling up here.
Thieving bastard.
He's been upstairs and nicked that out my bag.
Dad!
FRANK: He was a poet, and he knew it.
LIP: You said you didn't want to give her away.
Well, I've changed me mind, now I've got something to say.
[mutters under his breath]
Lillian, if you keep that up, the least I'm gonna want
is a blow job.
Any more of that, [inaudible] your whatsit to your nutters.
[cheering]
[phone ringing]
POLICEMAN: So weren't you in just before we picked you up?
WOMAN: Yeah, 8:00.
POLICEMAN: 8:00.
That'd be the 8:00 [inaudible]
[chatter]
[cheering]
CAROL: [inaudible]
Oh my God, I'm so nervous.
Ayo, ayo, ayo, ayo, are you ready?
[humming "here comes the bride"]
[laughter]
Hey, hey.
Here you go.
- Aw, you look beautiful. - You do.
There you are. - Oh god.
Oh my god.
[phone ringing]
[chatter]
FATHER POLAND: Ugh, exchanging of the vows.
Thank you, Veronica.
You will see the wedding procession to "The Wedding
March."
Slowly on the day, Fiona.
Now, Philip, this is where you hand over Fiona to Steve.
So let go of her arm.
Right.
Now
[laughter]
This is where I will greet the bride and bridegroom
in a friendly manner, showing that the church shares
their joy.
[police radio]
Now, Kevin, this is what you step forward
and give the ring to Steve.
Repeat after me.
I, Steve McBride--
STEVE: I, Steve McBride--
FATHER POLAND: --do take thee--
--do take thee, Fiona, Gallagher--
--to be my lawful wedded wife.
To have and to hold--
To have and--
[phone rings]
Excuse me.
Sorry.
Sorry for this.
Excuse me. Sorry about this.
Sorry. Excuse me.
Two secs.
[beep]
All right, listen.
I'm going to have to shoot off.
[kiss] - Steve.
STEVE: It's all right-- honestly, fine.
I just have to get it through my head-- you
know, walk through, all that. I'll be fine.
Kev, can I borrow you for two secs?
Just two secs. Be quicker than that, mate.
Steve.
VERONICA: Kev.
I'm best man, aren't I?
Steve.
[car speeding]
[tires screech]
[chatter]
Is it?
Where'd you find it?
Just a couple of white boys showing
off to their mates on the M-60.
There's no damage as far as I can
see, apart from the ignition.
KEV: How good do you feel, helmet, eh?
These are on me.
Hey, not for me, Kev, not if I'm driving.
And I am now.
Come here.
Listen, I'll sort you out with the, you know tomorrow.
No, no.
Forget about it, Steve.
I'm just glad to be of some use.
You know, we can be sometimes.
All right.
See you later, mate.
Kev, thanks for the lift.
Cheers.
Hey Jenson Button just turned his nose up at that.
Cheers.
Mind your back, Kev.
Let this blind lady through.
Who the fuck are you calling blind?
Sorry.
The fuck are you dressed like that for then, eh?
Don't start with me, Frank.
FRANK: She started it. She started it.
You should put a sign up about that-- nice behavior.
It's a government thing now, you know.
You've got to be caring [inaudible] Why?
Oh.
Oh, that's very nice, isn't it?
FIONA: Hey.
[chatter]
CARO: Oh, smell that.
WOMAN: [inaudible] Yvonne.
CAROL: Oh.
Oh, this is fantastic Yvonne.
Sure you can cater for 50-odd people by this weekend?
YVONNE: Yeah, of course I can.
You should see when I've got Kash's family around.
Believe me, she lives for the challenge.
Did you teach her how to cook like this?
YVONNE: Yeah, right. It's all tins with him.
Microwave [inaudible] at our house, that kids think it's
fire alarm.
Do you like it? See?
Even for kids.
I mean, I'll tone it down a bit, you know,
so that there's something for everyone at the wedding.
Oh give me a curry instead of a [inaudible] cocktail any day.
Too spicy for me.
Never used to be.
End of another era.
[kiss]
[chatter]
Why?
Why do you think?
Three-day day mystery cruise around the Bay of Biscayne?
Sounds like a mystery.
Agatha Christie murder mystery!
Ahhh!
Marty!
Oh!
[dog barks]
[laughter]
DEBBIE: Yay!
I'm going on a cruise.
[dog barks]
VERONICA: Oh, sorry [inaudible] time.
What's up?
Where did you get money like this?
Money me dad left me.
We're off upstairs.
CAROL: Money's meant for you.
MARTY: Yeah, to make me happy.
And if you're happy, so am I.
[dog barking]
IAN: Bit of homework.
I'll be shutting the door, because we
need some peace and quiet.
I'm just reading it.
Fucking hopeless.
Just find Lip. [inaudible]
You can have it then.
Talk about jealous.
[dog whimpering]
[heavy breathing]
As long as you now I'm only doing this for Ian.
Yeah, same here.
I hope he's grateful because--
wow.
Well, it's not for you. No problem.
Wow.
If you stuck a bonnet on that, it'd look like a microphone.
Whatever.
He can sing and dance.
[grunting]
Batteries are going on this.
Fuck off.
[grunting]
TONY: Fiona know you're dealing.
I don't know what you're talking about, mate.
You think I'm taping this, like I want
to hear this more than once?
Get real.
Tony, the stuff you've got is not mine.
Looking after it for a mate?
No, just somebody I know.
Do you mind if I sit down?
Been away recently?
No.
Spain?
No.
[inaudible] number from that car matches a Jeep that
came via Spain, different reg plate and different color,
obviously.
Is that where all your cars coming from?
Just the occasional one.
TONY: How occasional?
Two, three a year-- three.
How did you get to be involved in a racket like this--
bloody drugs?
Tony, look, it's just an occasional thing to pay off
and old debt.
I don't want to do it, Tony, but I have to pay this off.
The car owners never know the cargo they're carrying.
I get told which car to target.
I pick it up.
I ring it.
And then my mates, they come and pick up their cargo.
I get small wage, and I get to move the car off on my own.
Name a price.
Give me the stuff.
And [inaudible] done with this.
You think I want a slice up some of this--
drug money?
Well, what else are we here for?
I'm right in guessing that Fiona doesn't know--
so nothing about the money that she'll
be spending as a wife of Steve McBride,
nothing about the kind of life she's getting herself in for.
[inaudible] don't have a fucking
clue what you're on about.
And I'm dead if I don't get that gear
where it belongs by Wednesday.
Precisely my point.
Because it's not going to be cowboys you're dealing with,
is it?
And debts like these, they go on forever, don't they, Steve?
Fine.
How safe's Fiona, eh?
If it hadn't been me nicking that car
for a laugh to wind you up, how safe would she be now?
Ever do anything to harm her, I want you to know, Steve,
I'll make you regret it for the rest of your life.
I've never been caught, Tony.
I caught you.
Promise me now you'll put a stop to it.
I'm trying.
Promise.
Or else you're getting fuck all.
Please.
I need it On Wednesday.
[rustling]
[chatter]
What?
Upstairs.
[arguing]
What you and Mandy McGuire get up to in private
is your own business.
And I'm glad you are sensible enough to use protection, Ian.
But if you ever leave your bed in this state
thinking I'm going to clear it up,
you've another bloody thing coming.
Shift that condom, and give Mandy McGuire
her knickers back.
What's he done now?
FIONA: Mind your own business.
LIP: Ugh.
State of that bed, you scummy git.
Sorry, Fiona.
You better be.
Because I'm not getting married so I can babysit you
lot for the rest of my life.
Strip that bed and stick it on a boil wash.
[laughter]
But you shift your leftovers.
On your back.
[laughs]
Oh, dick.
Plus, Mandy McGuire slipped me a note at school,
said she wants a rematch.
Hey, be careful, though.
Never not.
IAN: No, I mean, you can't get caught if I'm not there.
Ugh.
He wants to watch.
No, I'm saying--
- Dirty little deviant. - Yeah, right.
Cheeky little homo wants to see how the carnivores do it.
Ugh.
[laughter]
What is it?
I don't know, but thank god we killed it.
Come on, Mom.
Come on, Carol.
Foot on the gas.
CAROL: Easier said than done in this.
[cheering]
[whistling]
[kissing]
An Agatha Christie honeymoon?
What would I wear?
KEV: An axe in the back.
Hey.
CAROL: Bye.
See you.
See you, Carol.
See you Saturday at the wedding.
See ya. - See ya, Carol.
Bye.
Say goodbye to mommy.
Wave goodbye.
Bye, bye, mommy.
Bye.
[dog whimpers]
[kiss] MARTY: Come on.
Come on, Pepe. Come on.
That's it. Come on.
OK.
Come on. Come on.
Who's a good boy?
Lamb!
Come on. Come on.
That's it.
Good boy.
Slaughter!
Come on.
Come to Marty.
Look what Marty's got for you.
[thud]
[dog whimpers]
[muttering] Come on.
Yes.
Sweet dreams.
[laughs]
I'd recommend Barbados for a honeymoon.
Oh, yeah?
Where did you stay?
Oh no, we haven't been. I just recommend it.
Not
In that case, I recommend Palestine.
I don't mean Palestine, do I?
Where did Beverly go when she won the lottery?
Dubai.
MARTY: What?
Where are you off?
Just to a mate's.
VERONICA: Oh?
Requiem!
FIONA: Mm.
He looks a bit lost without your mom, doesn't he?
KEV: Not lost enough.
Has he got any mates?
No.
Anyway, Dubai-- loved it.
Said it was like black [inaudible]..
Came back like a [inaudible] with a bloke who made matches.
[laughter]
VETERINARIAN: It's just not something
we can do to a healthy dog.
It goes against everything that we--
I wouldn't mind, but when he bites, it's never that deep.
I mean, most he's ever given anyone is seven stitches.
But it's the noise-- noise arf!
There's been two attempts on his life by the neighbors.
So I presume the police have intervened.
With a court order?
[dog whimpering]
Yup.
OK.
Get Mr. Fischer a cup of tea.
[dog whimpering]
VETERINARIAN: Would you like to stay for the procedure?
You don't have to.
Yes, please.
[horns honking]
Hey.
How you doing, all?
Where's [inaudible]
Tonsillitis and 42 and tonsillitis-- you wouldn't even
tell anybody, would you?
Maybe [inaudible] made it up to avoid
getting in the car with this dick dressed like Dracula.
Hey, what's wrong with it?
Hey you'd buy one of these [inaudible],,
wouldn't you, Steve?
Yeah, Maybe if I got one that fit me a bit better than that,
mate.
Yeah, nice one.
All right, here we go.
[grunts]
[clang]
- Good work. - Good man.
Cheers.
[tires screeching]
[car speeding]
[sirens]
[tires screeching]
TONY: Armed police.
Nobody move.
Not an inch, or you're dead.
Face down on the ground, all of you.
Face down or tits up.
It's your call.
All right.
Hands on your head where I can see them.
[police radio]
Armed with what?
One crack of this will break you down, pal.
Come on, I'm warning you.
Yeah.
Paper, rock, scissors.
Fucking hell.
Look, calm down, everybody.
- Back. - Whoa.
Whoa.
Just calm down, mate, all right?
Easy.
Where's that come from?
Insurance.
[movie playing]
STEVE (ON PHONE): Hi.
This is Steve's phone.
I'm probably away from away from my desk or on another line.
I'll be off.
Steve's not back yet.
Goody goody rum rum.
Does he now his taxi's booked today?
Yeah, he booked it.
TONY: This is the kind of life that you think
Fiona deserves, hey, Steve?
You know him.
Hey fellas, we can just walk off.
We've seen nothing. - Like fuck you can.
STEVE: Come on, Ollie.
Look, tell him to put the gun down.
This is just silly.
It's fucking stupid.
For fuck's sakes, Steve.
STEVE: Just tell him to put the gun down.
This is fucking stupid, mate.
MAN: How do you know him? - He's an undercover.
Oh, don't talk rubbish, mate. [thud]
Ugh!
We've been nothing but mates to you.
We haven't shit on you once.
Ollie, look, I promise you.
I did not know they were going to be here.
Tony, tell them.
Well, seeing as they are, do you
think you're walking out of here with the money and the gear?
STEVE: [inaudible] can sort this out, mate.
I'll wait for you outside.
And what am I supposed to do?
Steve won't mind you taking his car.
He won't be needing it.
Mack-- Mack, we can sort this out between us, all right?
Come on, mate.
We can sort this out between the two of us.
Just put the gun down.
[inaudible],, don't you fucking do this.
[car starts]
[tires screeching]
Mack, put the gun down.
[gunshot]
[tires screeching]
[car peeling out]
Jesus Christ.
Oh Jesus-- [inaudible]
You'd better disappear.
You're a fucking lunatic.
Yeah, none of this is your fault.
That's not my fucking fault. Do you know
what's going to happen, Tony?
They're gonna think I set him up.
They're going to come after me, and they're going to kill me.
[crying] Christ.
They're going to kill me, Tony.
Holy Mother Mary of God, pray for us sinners.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with me.
With Christ [crying]
Call for help.
STAN: Mayday.
Mayday.
This is PC Stan Waterman.
Mayday.
Requiring urgent assistance to the March
Road Industrial Estate.
Say again, mayday.
Mayday.
This is PC Stan Waterman requiring
urgent assistance to the March Road Industrial Estate.
Repeat, urgent assistance.
Look, just get here, OK?
Vanish.
Go on.
Where?
Here.
Go on.
[car starting]
[car peeling out]
[tv playing]
[quiet barking]
[laughs]
My husband!
[door opens]
[quiet barking]
KEV: No show.
VERONICA: Have you tried Steve's other house?
No, Veronica, the thought never occurred to me.
His parents haven't seen him since Friday.
KEV: What's wrong with the dog?
MARTY: He just wants letting out.
Yeah, but what's wrong with the dog?
[door closes]
I'm going to bed.
Tell him he better sleep down here when he turns up.
[barking]
[quiet barking]
[barking]
[quiet barking]
[barking]
[quiet barking]
[sirens]
He's poorly.
How long's he been like this?
Just lost his voice.
Dog can't lose his voice, Marty.
Can if you pay enough.
[sirens]
Arf!
[car driving]
[door opening]
You knew exactly what you were doing.
You set me up as a grass so that I've got no option
but to trust someone like you.
I was just trying to help.
Me?
How is that helping?
It's Fiona's best interest.
Fuck off.
[thud]
One guy's dead, Tony.
Now, he's gonna come screaming down the M-62 with his mates
to take my fucking head off.
Look, you're safe.
Ollie Bippy got lifted before you
even made it back to Liverpool.
[flashes]
Hard as nails until he realized it was a murder inquiry.
Now he's singing like a choir boy,
naming all his mates for a plea bargain.
The drug squad are rounding them all up.
So I'm safe?
That's your debt cleared.
He thinks I set him up, Tony.
How's he not going name me?
They've issued a warrant for your arrest
but at your old address.
They want us keeping our eyes peeled for him.
You brainless cunt.
But you've got me and Stan as witnesses.
We'll just say that you were nowhere near the incident.
Oh, well that's just fine, isn't it?
What about the coke?
What?
Where's the coke?
That's Bibby's coke.
You said so.
That's evidence for the drug squad.
Without that, we'd never get a conviction.
Thanks to you, my prints are all over those bags,
aren't they?
[rustling]
Unless you took time to clean every single last one of them
just for my benefit.
[sirens]
[dog barking]
[rustling]
Oh, thank god.
Hey, what's this?
It's-- it's just a favor from Tony.
The police after me.
Everyone is. - What have you done?
I can't stay here.
I've really messed this up, Fiona.
Put you coat on.
[sighs]
STEVE: You all done?
DEBBIE: Yup.
All right, Kev.
KEV: All right.
You look after your sister now.
TONY: We'll drop you at the service station.
STAN: There's a white [inaudible]
minibus, probably ex-taxi.
Where from?
Brother-in-law.
[inaudible] I didn't have time to get him down.
VERONICA: I can't believe I'm saying this.
Will you ring me when you get wherever?
- I promise. - Oh god.
TONY: Look, we need to shift it.
Otherwise, someone's going to wonder what we're doing here.
STEVE: All right. Everyone, coats on.
[chatter]
Thank you, My all right?
LIP: What are doing?
Nothing.
Not this.
Look, I wouldn't know what to do anywhere else.
STEVE: Ian, I know this is all my fault
but I'm really trying here.
I'm not blaming anybody.
I'm just not going.
But you can't stay here on your own.
I'm here. Arf.
TONY: Come on.
We can't hang about.
Lip?
We'll be fine.
STEVE: Lip Lip, please.
Ian, come on.
Look, nobody's saying this forever.
It's just-- this is all my fuck-up And I'm truly,
truly sorry, but--
Debbie?
Oof.
Ow.
Come on, please.
Just get in the van.
None of them know how to cook.
Oh my god.
[crying] Oh god.
Oh god.
Oh my god.
Fiona.
Fiona, I can't stay.
Hey.
I can't stay.
I can't stay, darling.
Listen to me.
It's not my fault.
Well, whose fault is it, eh?
It's not theirs.
It's not mine, you stupid fucking idiot.
Why'd you need so much money?
Why does anybody need so much money?
[crying]
I'm still going.
[laughs]
What?
[crying]
[car starting]
MARTY: Fuck it.
KEV: Hey.
Come on.
His loss.
VERONICA: Come inside, sweetheart.
[sirens]
WOMAN: Your son is charged with aggravated burglary.
It wasn't me.
WOMAN: And resisting arrest. [thud]
Ugh!
FRANK: Say nothing till he sees a lawyer.
You took Ian and Carl on a burglary?
[glass shatters]
Turn my back for 10 minutes, and the whole house
goes fucking ape.
[theme music] Bada da da.
Bada da da da da.
Ba da da da.
Bada da da da da.
Bada da da da.
Ba da da da da da.
Bada da da da da.
Da da da da da da da da Bada da da da.
Bada da da da da.
Bada da da.
Bada da da da da da.
Bada da da da.
Marty!
Best present anybody's ever bought me, I swear to God.
[laughs]
[car driving] - Pepe!
[tires screeching]
[splat]
[thud]
[sirens]
Arf!
[music playing]