1 00:00:04,767 --> 00:00:07,400 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Now, nobody's saying that Chatsworth Estate 2 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,767 is the Garden of Eden, but it's been 3 00:00:09,867 --> 00:00:13,800 a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, 4 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:15,733 who I'm proud of. 5 00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:20,200 Because every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 6 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,267 They cal all think for themselves. 7 00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:25,800 Which they've me to thank for. 8 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,433 Fiona, who's a massive help. 9 00:00:28,533 --> 00:00:30,933 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody 10 00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:32,367 calls him "Philip" anymore. 11 00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,967 Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others 12 00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,533 because she's disappeared into thing air. 13 00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:40,667 And Carl, we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 14 00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:43,833 One, it stands on end, and makes him look like Toya. 15 00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:45,200 Two, nits love him 16 00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:45,967 Debbie! 17 00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:48,333 Sent by God, total angel. 18 00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:50,633 You've to check your change, but she'll miles out 19 00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:51,833 of the way to do you a favor. 20 00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:55,167 Plus Liam, gonna be a star, once we've 21 00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:56,867 got the fits under control. 22 00:00:56,967 --> 00:00:58,167 [shouting] 23 00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,633 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Steve, Fiona's boyfriend. 24 00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:02,633 The truth is out there. 25 00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:03,867 Not. 26 00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:06,500 Fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica. 27 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:07,433 Lend you anything. 28 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:08,500 Well, not anything. 29 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,633 But all of them to a man who knows first 30 00:01:11,733 --> 00:01:12,933 and foremost how to party. 31 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:15,467 One of the most vital necessities in this life 32 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:19,500 is they know how to throw a party. 33 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,033 Heh heh heh, scatter! 34 00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:26,000 SHEILA The thing I love most about living with Frank? 35 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,100 Life's never short of surprises. 36 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,733 Because, of course, the fact he has three testicles. 37 00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:33,500 But he were never short of a giggle on a rainy day. 38 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,733 Next was, no matter how long Frank spent 39 00:01:35,833 --> 00:01:38,900 with his own family, he never seems to know for certain how 40 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,833 many of there are actually are. 41 00:01:40,933 --> 00:01:43,367 [shouting] 42 00:01:44,533 --> 00:01:45,333 VOICES: All right! 43 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:49,700 Frank? 44 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,600 Frank? 45 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,700 You smell that? 46 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,600 What, me? 47 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,500 Is it me? 48 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,533 June. 49 00:01:57,633 --> 00:01:58,467 No. 50 00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:03,433 June, and wages. 51 00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:07,367 [music playing] 52 00:02:24,733 --> 00:02:26,433 Come at a bad Kev? 53 00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:28,267 Karen, you're freaking me out there. 54 00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,800 No one ever knocks on the back door unless it's trouble. 55 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,100 Come in. 56 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,533 I've just moved into a flat on Pinney Street. 57 00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:37,200 I'm a bit stuck till I find someone to share in there. 58 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:41,500 Well, I'm sorted here, obviously. 59 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,733 Me mom said there might be a job going in the Jockey. 60 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:45,833 Oh, barmaid, yeah. 61 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,000 Part-time. 62 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,933 Hey, but it's not for a faint hide. 63 00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:54,233 I just wondered if you'd, um, put a good word in for us Kev? 64 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:56,800 This t-shirt with this neck? 65 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:57,933 I have a v-neck with more of a dip. 66 00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,033 Bit of a dip, Veronica. 67 00:02:59,133 --> 00:02:59,967 Definitely. 68 00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:01,533 Couple of dips. 69 00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:04,700 I'd jump you. 70 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,733 Thanks, Conrad. 71 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,633 You're an absolute angel. 72 00:03:07,733 --> 00:03:09,600 Hey, choir. 73 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:10,567 Very good. 74 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 Uh-- meanwhile. 75 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,533 Hi, Veronica. 76 00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,767 Just nipped around to see if Kevin could give us a few tips. 77 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:20,867 You know, the job at the Jockey? 78 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,567 I have a few for you. 79 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,133 Get some conditioner on that hair before you start a fire. 80 00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:27,000 And if you want to lose some weight, try less makeup. 81 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,167 I was only asking. 82 00:03:28,267 --> 00:03:29,367 Like I'm only telling. 83 00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:31,867 Now fuck off! - Cheers, Kev. 84 00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:33,000 All right. 85 00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:39,100 Why did you have to be so nasty? 86 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,167 Listen. She's not your friend. 87 00:03:42,267 --> 00:03:45,800 Possession is 9/10 of the law. 88 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:48,567 Jesus. 89 00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:51,133 [doorbell ringing] 90 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:55,667 NEVILLE: Sheila Jackson? 91 00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,300 Have I won? 92 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,800 I'm sorry? 93 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,400 I have to take cash prize option, 94 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,733 because I'm a bit phobic about having my photograph taken. 95 00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:05,367 Ah, Neville Gallagher. 96 00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:07,100 Frank's father. 97 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,400 I hear I've two new grandchildren. 98 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,567 I'm sure Frank thinks you're dead. 99 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:11,667 Frank! 100 00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:14,867 You're dad's brought presents for the kids! 101 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:17,833 So he's not dead. 102 00:04:17,933 --> 00:04:20,400 Down when I can. 103 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:23,567 Nigel and Delia. 104 00:04:23,667 --> 00:04:25,367 I might've guessed that you were a fan 105 00:04:25,467 --> 00:04:27,600 of the raw ingredient, Sheila. 106 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:28,733 Proper cooking? 107 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,700 I'm absolutely fanatical about it. 108 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,233 Aren't I, Frank? 109 00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:40,567 Well, well. 110 00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:41,467 Frank? 111 00:04:41,567 --> 00:04:42,833 Dad. 112 00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,433 What about these two, then? 113 00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:46,967 Ah, little Nigel, little Delia. 114 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,233 Yeah. 115 00:04:48,333 --> 00:04:50,267 They're like angels when they're sleeping. 116 00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:51,900 What are they like when they're awake, 117 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:52,800 though, eh Sheila? 118 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:53,733 Hm? 119 00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:55,267 Helps out, does he? 120 00:04:55,367 --> 00:04:59,033 Took 'em to the Jockey for the quiz on Tuesday, didn't you? 121 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,533 The pub? 122 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:01,467 No. 123 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:02,567 Playgroup. 124 00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:06,333 Multicultural harmony, and dozens of darkies, 125 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:07,633 and chinks, and stuff, Dad. 126 00:05:07,733 --> 00:05:08,733 SHEILA Is it? 127 00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:10,267 Well, at least that's something. 128 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:14,333 Age 23, his mother was elected councilor for Denton South. 129 00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:18,500 She fought and won that campaign entirely on childcare 130 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,800 for single parents. 131 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:23,233 My mom's completely dulally. 132 00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:24,700 Well, that's cruel. 133 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,400 I'm sorry. - Oh, no, no. 134 00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,600 She's loving it. 135 00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:28,933 She thinks they've let her stop paying the bills. 136 00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:30,867 - And they haven't? - No. 137 00:05:30,967 --> 00:05:32,667 No, I'm taking care of all that for her. 138 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:36,567 Which I love, because I'm very good with numbers, yeah? 139 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,300 Oh dear, oh dear. 140 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:44,100 Two new bairns, an upset mother, a house to look after. 141 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,467 You'll be needing all the support you can get, won't you? 142 00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,000 Hey, what's for brekky before I go to work, Sheila? 143 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,200 You got a job? 144 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:52,500 No. 145 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,433 No. 146 00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:54,900 Bit I have to slip into Stratford 147 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,800 to see Stevie Sullivan about a second-in-charge 148 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,333 at Sampson's sawmill. 149 00:05:58,433 --> 00:05:59,167 Is that right? 150 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,033 Yeah, well, you do what you can 151 00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:02,367 these days, haven't you, Dad? 152 00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:03,533 Mouths to feed. 153 00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:04,433 Absolutely. 154 00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:05,900 Eight now. 155 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,567 I know. 156 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:08,400 That's it. 157 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,433 I'll-- I'll skip brekky making. 158 00:06:10,533 --> 00:06:11,200 An early start. 159 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:15,100 It's nice to see you, Dad. 160 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,500 Look after yourself, huh? 161 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:22,067 [music playing] 162 00:06:34,867 --> 00:06:37,767 [baby crying] 163 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:44,633 Excuse me, mate. 164 00:06:44,733 --> 00:06:45,600 You got the time? 165 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:46,500 Five past eight. 166 00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:57,000 [playing harmonica] 167 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,933 [thump] 168 00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:11,033 Sheila, love? 169 00:07:16,467 --> 00:07:18,433 Sheila? 170 00:07:18,533 --> 00:07:19,333 Sheila. 171 00:07:24,933 --> 00:07:25,767 Jolly right. 172 00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:30,600 You're not epileptic? 173 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,200 Since when? 174 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:32,933 No. 175 00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:34,533 Are you epileptic? 176 00:07:34,633 --> 00:07:35,367 Oh, god, no. 177 00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:36,733 Nothing like that in our family. 178 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:37,867 Dad wouldn't have stood for it. 179 00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:39,467 How do you want your eggs, Neville? 180 00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:40,567 No, no, no. 181 00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:41,467 You're going back to bed. 182 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:42,500 Come on, now. 183 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,433 I'll see to the kids. 184 00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:45,200 Oh, how very kind. 185 00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:46,533 Oh, you're too kind. 186 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,233 Shouldn't let people take advantage. 187 00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:50,767 That's what Frank's always said. 188 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,667 Is that right? 189 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:59,200 [music playing] 190 00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:08,700 KEV: What are you doing here? 191 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,333 I got the job. 192 00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:12,733 That's, uh-- 193 00:08:12,833 --> 00:08:13,933 LILLIAN: Happy day. 194 00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,700 JEZ: Silver lining on a very murky day. 195 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,000 Thanks for that, Kev. 196 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,767 I thought you earned a living as the keyholder? 197 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,233 JEZ: She's a looker, she's harmless, 198 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:24,467 and she's not a big drinker. 199 00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:25,467 Yes, Frank? 200 00:08:25,567 --> 00:08:29,100 A pint, and a couple of these, Kev. 201 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,267 Deliver us from evil, or grant us 202 00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:33,167 the certainty of being caked enough 203 00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,467 to give not one iota of a fuck. 204 00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:36,400 Amen. 205 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:37,333 Thank you. 206 00:08:42,633 --> 00:08:45,100 How can you live in if you've just moved into a flat? 207 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,833 Just rented out. 208 00:08:46,933 --> 00:08:47,967 Clean blokes over there. 209 00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,333 When did this happen? 210 00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:50,400 Just now. 211 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,833 You got a job, accomodation, and a sublet 212 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,267 in the time it took me to have a slash? 213 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,500 Now, you're making yourself sound old, Kev. 214 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,867 Stay awake, won't ya? 215 00:08:58,967 --> 00:09:01,400 JEZ: Karen, we'll need a few more tonics up the other end. 216 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:02,600 Coming right up. 217 00:09:13,633 --> 00:09:15,667 How fab is she? 218 00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:18,167 I can't believe it's not butter. 219 00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:21,800 SHEILA: Oh, on my life! 220 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:22,733 You bastards! 221 00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:24,067 [sobbing] 222 00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:25,333 Just tell us exactly where the kiddies 223 00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:26,867 were when you last saw them? 224 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:27,800 They were there. 225 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:28,900 They were there. 226 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,633 What, and you went back to bed? 227 00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:31,900 Only for an hour. 228 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,767 Leave the kids down there for an hour? 229 00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:35,133 I mean, would ya? 230 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:36,333 I wouldn't, would I? 231 00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:37,333 I wouldn't. 232 00:09:37,433 --> 00:09:39,800 Maybe I left them in the spare room? 233 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,067 No. 234 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:42,267 We've gone right around the house, Sheila. 235 00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:43,000 Oh god. 236 00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:43,933 Oh god! 237 00:09:44,033 --> 00:09:45,000 Where are they? 238 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,000 Where are they? 239 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:46,900 Where-- 240 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:47,967 [gasping and sobbing] 241 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:50,967 [door shutting] 242 00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:53,833 CONSTABLE: Who are you? 243 00:09:53,933 --> 00:09:54,867 Neville Gallagher. 244 00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:56,200 Their grandpa. 245 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,367 We'd just been for a stroll down at the shops. 246 00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,900 Oh, Neville. 247 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,267 I'm so sorry. 248 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,733 I thought I'd dreamt you. 249 00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:06,033 Oh, my babies. 250 00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:08,067 My lovely, darling babies. 251 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:11,933 I thought I'd lost you, my darlings. 252 00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,833 Oh, I am so sorry. 253 00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:16,033 Sheila, forget it. 254 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:17,767 Honestly, as long as the kids are OK. 255 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,233 Neville rushed round here. 256 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:21,833 Called out the dogs, and stuff. 257 00:10:21,933 --> 00:10:24,267 Now, as long as they're safe, Sheila. 258 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:25,133 All right. 259 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,700 We'll, uh, leave you to it, then. 260 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,067 Hey, I wish all these kind of call outs ended up like this. 261 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:30,333 Most of them don't. 262 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:32,733 Believe me, most of them can be pretty gruesome. 263 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:33,867 Even last week, we had-- 264 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,133 Oi. 265 00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:37,733 - Can I pay for your petrol? - No. 266 00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:38,833 Don't be daft. 267 00:10:38,933 --> 00:10:42,200 Would you like a vodka? 268 00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:42,933 No. 269 00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,167 We'll leave you to it. 270 00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:46,367 Thank you, gentlemen. 271 00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:49,867 Don't let Frank know about this. 272 00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:53,333 The faster she gets sectioned, the sooner we can all retire. 273 00:10:53,433 --> 00:10:56,200 Did you see the size of the dildos under the bed? 274 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,167 I know. 275 00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:58,267 No wonder she can't see straight. 276 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:01,500 Hiya. 277 00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:05,900 What are you doing here? 278 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,167 What can I get you? 279 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,000 - Kev. - Nipped out. 280 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,633 Did he leave me house keys? 281 00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:11,533 He did, yeah. 282 00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:12,900 Well, can I have them? 283 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,233 If I could remember where he'd put them. 284 00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,900 You haven't even looked. 285 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:17,800 No. 286 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:18,767 I'm not gonna. 287 00:11:18,867 --> 00:11:20,233 Not the way you talk to me. 288 00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:21,400 Karen. 289 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,833 Give me the keys, unless you want a twatting. 290 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,800 Keys, please, karen. 291 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,367 Fuck off! 292 00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:29,367 You bitch! 293 00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:31,367 [shouting] 294 00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:34,433 Right, you! Out! 295 00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,067 You're barred. - You can't bar me. 296 00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:37,367 Me husband works here. 297 00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:38,900 Maybe he won't if you can't behave yourself. 298 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:39,900 Sorry, Jez. 299 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:40,900 Won't happen again. 300 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,167 Cross me heart and hope to die. 301 00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:48,067 Three weeks' suspension or 21 quid cash. 302 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,800 And no milk tokens. 303 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:53,200 [music playing] 304 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,133 Woo! 305 00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:13,500 [shouting] 306 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,367 You. 307 00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:20,633 Home. 308 00:12:20,733 --> 00:12:21,567 Now. 309 00:12:24,967 --> 00:12:28,367 [music playing] 310 00:12:32,967 --> 00:12:36,433 Carl, you're tidying the room when we get in the door. 311 00:12:36,533 --> 00:12:37,333 Yeah. 312 00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:38,333 No, I'm not. 313 00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:39,700 [knocking] 314 00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:44,200 [knocking] 315 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,500 [shouting] 316 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:52,467 Granddad! 317 00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:53,467 Granddad! 318 00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:54,433 Hey! 319 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:56,400 Hello, lads. 320 00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,000 Oh, cheeky job! 321 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,000 Ah, no. 322 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,867 You're never too big for that. 323 00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:03,767 [laughter] 324 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:04,700 Come here, you. 325 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:05,833 You look fantastic. 326 00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,700 Yeah, not bad for a dead man, eh? 327 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,500 What? 328 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,267 Little joke. here. 329 00:13:10,367 --> 00:13:12,367 Your dad's, apparently. 330 00:13:12,467 --> 00:13:16,467 Not much, but it's been fought through. 331 00:13:16,567 --> 00:13:18,433 Spending the winter in Benidorm's 332 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:20,533 the only time to see it like it really is. 333 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,967 When you're not treated like a tourist. 334 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:22,900 Oh, thanks. 335 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,033 There you go. 336 00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:27,167 Now, all of these-- 337 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:33,867 all of these were actually made by good, honest artisanis. 338 00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:34,967 Yeah. 339 00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,933 Locals, working with their hands. 340 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,267 (QUIETLY) Artisani. 341 00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:40,667 What are you up to here, then? 342 00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,100 Steve and Fiona's house. 343 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,867 We normally have to ask permission to go around there, 344 00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:45,667 but we are allowed. Definitely. 345 00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:46,600 Yeah. 346 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:50,267 Nob through to next door. 347 00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:51,200 Ah. 348 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:57,000 Here we go, Granddad. 349 00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,233 Good lad. 350 00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:01,100 Here you go, Gramp. 351 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,933 Oh, now you're spoiling me. 352 00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:07,500 Granddad. 353 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:08,600 Brown suce. 354 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,933 Ah. 355 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:14,233 Mug of tea, pint of lager, and a bacon sarnie. 356 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:16,500 I could still be in Spain. 357 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,400 Quick. 358 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:18,333 Fiona. 359 00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,033 What? 360 00:14:22,133 --> 00:14:23,600 Hey, there. 361 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:25,100 What the fuck have I told you about coming around this site 362 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,033 till it's finished? 363 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,000 Language, language. 364 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,533 [laughter] 365 00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:29,533 [gasp] 366 00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:32,800 When did you get back? 367 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,133 Yesterday. 368 00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:38,733 Granddad, this is Steve. 369 00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,867 Ah, I've, uh, heard a lot about you. 370 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:41,833 You're a very lucky lad. 371 00:14:41,933 --> 00:14:43,100 Yeah. 372 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,100 Well, that's what it feels like most days. 373 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,267 I'm serious. 374 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,367 If he stays there much longer, he's 375 00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:49,467 gonna drive that Sheila around the bleeding bend. 376 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:51,333 Yeah, but we don't want him back. 377 00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,233 All I'm saying is what you need to do 378 00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:56,367 is to make sure she gets some kind of respite. 379 00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,100 I mean, she's not a well woman. 380 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,767 She's happy enough. 381 00:14:59,867 --> 00:15:01,333 Yeah, I know. 382 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:06,733 But as a-- a favor to me, you'd make an effort, wouldn't you? 383 00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:08,033 Look, fair do's, Neville. 384 00:15:08,133 --> 00:15:09,600 Myself and Fiona have got enough around here 385 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,400 to worry about without having to think about Frank and Sheila. 386 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,600 All right? 387 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,733 No offense, son. 388 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,700 This is a family conversation. 389 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,500 Fine. 390 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,233 Like what? 391 00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:30,900 Well, Sheila needs a babysitter for tonight. 392 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,100 I'll do it. 393 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,900 Older than you. 394 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,233 Well, I suppose I could do a few hours. 395 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:39,367 NEVILLE: Older than you. 396 00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:42,700 OK. 397 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,000 You stay in. 398 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,967 Me and Steve will go and sit. 399 00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:47,000 Cool. 400 00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,500 How long's Sheila gonna be? 401 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,900 Well, depends, uh-- 402 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:57,067 depends where our Frank takes us for a meal. 403 00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:59,667 KEV: You can't barge in there knotting people. 404 00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:00,800 Well, not women, anyway. 405 00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:02,167 I can. 406 00:16:02,267 --> 00:16:03,100 And I'll do it again if she talks to me like that. 407 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,400 The spoon-faced bitch. 408 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,000 KEV: Veronica, I'm as surprised as you are. 409 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,400 But I didn't get her the job. 410 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,900 You lying fuck! 411 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,867 I watch you sniffing around her. 412 00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:14,233 If I catch you within an inch of that 413 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:16,167 two-faced, pam-faced mudpie, I'll 414 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,167 cut your lumpy little dick off. 415 00:16:18,267 --> 00:16:19,300 I didn't get her the job! 416 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,367 VERONICA: Yeah, well I'm barred now! 417 00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:22,367 Well, not if you pay the fine. 418 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:24,633 Like fuck I'm paying a fine! 419 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:25,533 That's my local. 420 00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:26,600 She's on my patch. 421 00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:28,600 Get rid of her! 422 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:30,133 Veronica, be reasonable. 423 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:33,933 I want that twisted little bitch's head on a big fucking 424 00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:36,433 stick! 425 00:16:36,533 --> 00:16:38,233 SHEILA: Frank? 426 00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,133 Frank! 427 00:16:44,033 --> 00:16:48,100 My god, what's happened to you? 428 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,533 Gas board van reversed into us. 429 00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:51,467 Oh, not again. 430 00:16:51,567 --> 00:16:54,567 [heavy breathing] I-- 431 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,700 I'll do fishcakes. 432 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,733 And I've forgotten, do you like them with or without the fish? 433 00:16:59,833 --> 00:17:02,467 We're going out for the meal. 434 00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:06,300 What do you mean? 435 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,467 We're going out for a meal. 436 00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,400 [gasping] 437 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,633 I can't-- 438 00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:16,467 I can't eat in front of other people, Frank. 439 00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,800 It's not my idea. 440 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,633 And it's not other people. 441 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,633 It's just me. 442 00:17:26,733 --> 00:17:27,933 Just me and me dad. 443 00:17:28,033 --> 00:17:30,500 [gasping] 444 00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:35,900 I could wear that dress I bought online. 445 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,700 From Millennia. 446 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,333 NEVILLE: Your mother was one of the finest trade 447 00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,300 unionists that ever lived. 448 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:46,600 She wiped the floor with Vic Feather, 449 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:49,367 and he thought he was somebody! 450 00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:54,933 She worshipped you, and made the most pathetic excuses for you. 451 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,133 I didn't realize you weren't autistic, 452 00:17:57,233 --> 00:18:01,133 till you called me a cunt in suspiciously 453 00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,000 fitting circumstances. 454 00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:13,967 VERONICA: Oi. 455 00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,233 Down here when you're ready. 456 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:17,167 Here. 457 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,300 Fuck's sake. 458 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,367 She'll ban you permanently if she sees you. 459 00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:25,333 So she won't. 460 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:30,067 Yes, ladies? 461 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,333 Oh, we're sorted. Thanks, love. 462 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:32,067 All right. 463 00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:33,167 Foo face slapper. 464 00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:34,733 What did he just say? 465 00:18:34,833 --> 00:18:37,633 He said it's his birthday, and he's never felt happier. 466 00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:49,467 Gallagher for three. 467 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,733 [music playing] 468 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,367 Excuse me. 469 00:19:05,467 --> 00:19:08,400 I mentioned on the phone that we did absolutely anything. 470 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,333 But ideally I'd like a prune and vodka 471 00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:14,100 sorbet with a custard on a side plate for pudding. 472 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,567 If you do one at all. 473 00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:17,500 Thank you. 474 00:19:34,733 --> 00:19:36,800 VERONICA: She's giving her all of Kev's tips. 475 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:37,900 Get over it. 476 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,933 Only coppers. 477 00:19:39,033 --> 00:19:40,900 Yeah, 25 quid a week in coppers. 478 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,400 And she hasn't even bee here a fucking day. 479 00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,033 Keep your voice down, or you won't last long 480 00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:45,167 enough to finish your drink. 481 00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:54,267 Shit! 482 00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,900 Oh, merci. 483 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:00,967 Merci. 484 00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,067 Merci. 485 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000 Oh. 486 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,000 Very good lamb and chip, Neville. 487 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:32,100 Cooked by a man who knows the landscape, Sheila. 488 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,800 Rosemary, mine. 489 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,500 Oh, and, uh-- 490 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:39,333 Um-- port, I think. 491 00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:40,100 Correct. 492 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,400 Ah, thank you. 493 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,833 When I bought this dress, I never imagined 494 00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:47,467 it'd see the light of day. 495 00:20:47,567 --> 00:20:49,567 Fortnight back it was nearly cushions. 496 00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:50,500 So I'm thrilled. 497 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,667 Yeah, whatever. 498 00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,600 I just don't see the point of paying for food. 499 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:54,800 It's not for you. 500 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,200 It's a gift for the lady-wife, for all 501 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,600 the hard work she puts in. 502 00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:01,033 Point is you are paying for it. 503 00:21:03,867 --> 00:21:04,800 Mine or yours? 504 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:06,167 All three. 505 00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:08,100 To celebrate the fact you start work next week. 506 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,233 There's what? 507 00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:10,467 We'll have to wait and see. 508 00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:11,433 Won't we? 509 00:21:17,467 --> 00:21:20,967 (SINGING) How much is that slab there in the bike shed? 510 00:21:21,067 --> 00:21:23,600 The one with the ass like a whale? 511 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:24,767 Fuck off. 512 00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:27,033 It eschoes, she sucks, and she swallows. 513 00:21:27,133 --> 00:21:28,000 And then-- 514 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,900 You cunt. 515 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,100 Hey, She'll be sopped. 516 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,000 She'll be - salty chopped. 517 00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,067 [shouting] 518 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,600 Who let you off your fucking lead, you? 519 00:21:46,967 --> 00:21:50,400 [music playing] 520 00:21:55,533 --> 00:21:56,367 Right, then. 521 00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:57,267 All right. 522 00:22:11,167 --> 00:22:12,533 So how many hours? 523 00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:13,833 Uh, four. 524 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,633 Just to-- for the first day. 525 00:22:15,733 --> 00:22:16,800 Break us in. - Right. 526 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,000 How many hourses? 527 00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:19,567 10, 15. 528 00:22:19,667 --> 00:22:20,833 Big houses. 529 00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:22,133 Sundown Cross. 530 00:22:22,233 --> 00:22:24,533 Totally knackery. 531 00:22:24,633 --> 00:22:25,433 Feel me arms. 532 00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:27,000 Got new muscles. 533 00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:29,233 You look completely different, Frank. 534 00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:31,600 Well, it's been an eye-opener. 535 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:33,467 Gaffer thinks I'm a natural. 536 00:22:33,567 --> 00:22:34,567 See? 537 00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:36,767 How much better do you feel for an honest day? 538 00:22:36,867 --> 00:22:37,700 FRANK: Yeah. 539 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:38,833 Yeah, you're right, Dad. 540 00:22:38,933 --> 00:22:40,533 I got blood going everywhere. 541 00:22:40,633 --> 00:22:42,200 Fingers, toes. 542 00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:44,367 I could seriously get to like it. 543 00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:45,933 NEVILLE: What did I tell you? 544 00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:47,233 Hm? 545 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:49,600 Weight of the dead, I said I was determined. 546 00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:55,033 So how can you do a round if you haven't got a van? 547 00:22:55,133 --> 00:22:57,267 Gaffer picks us all up in the morning, 548 00:22:57,367 --> 00:23:00,933 and then drops us at various sites up and down. 549 00:23:01,033 --> 00:23:04,267 And then, um-- you know, we, uh-- 550 00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:06,900 we all meet for the fly up at midday. 551 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:07,933 Hey, great lunch. 552 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,300 Cracking banter. 553 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,667 I think they can't believe the luck cause, 554 00:23:10,767 --> 00:23:13,400 you know, I get on with all of them, straight off. 555 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,333 Band of brothers. 556 00:23:15,433 --> 00:23:17,067 Well, why doesn't he just keep the ladders 557 00:23:17,167 --> 00:23:18,433 and stuff in the van? 558 00:23:18,533 --> 00:23:21,433 Could we just-- just fuck off and leave us alone. 559 00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:24,067 Just-- you know, I just can't fucking-- 560 00:23:24,167 --> 00:23:26,367 um, think here, now. 561 00:23:26,467 --> 00:23:27,467 He's exhausted. 562 00:23:27,567 --> 00:23:28,267 Yeah. 563 00:23:28,367 --> 00:23:30,533 Let's get you home and fed. 564 00:23:30,633 --> 00:23:32,200 Well, look after yourself, Dad, and don't 565 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:33,433 leave us so long next time. 566 00:23:33,533 --> 00:23:34,667 Otherwise none of us will recognize you. 567 00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:37,067 NEVILLE: No. 568 00:23:37,167 --> 00:23:40,800 Looks as if I'll be in here for a while longer. 569 00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:44,967 Ah, Neville has Karen's room while his flat's being painted. 570 00:23:45,067 --> 00:23:46,767 Very kind you are, too. 571 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,267 And, um-- he's bringing around all his 572 00:23:52,367 --> 00:23:55,200 photo albums to show the twins. 573 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,667 I'm bidding for a photocopier on eBay, 574 00:23:57,767 --> 00:23:58,633 which closes in half an hour. 575 00:23:58,733 --> 00:24:02,767 So I'd better get a move on. 576 00:24:02,867 --> 00:24:05,100 Well, how long for? 577 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,000 Only a week or so. 578 00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:08,233 From Tuesday. 579 00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:11,367 Except you know what the council's like. 580 00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:14,700 Think of a number and double it. 581 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,300 Fine. 582 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,900 Just-- 583 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,800 [sobbing] 584 00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:28,500 [light knocking] 585 00:24:32,533 --> 00:24:33,833 Oh-- 586 00:24:33,933 --> 00:24:36,733 You're going to need a bit of help with this one, aren't ya? 587 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,300 There's a barrel that wants changing, Kev. 588 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:09,433 Don't spend too long talking to the lads. 589 00:25:09,533 --> 00:25:11,867 Which lads? 590 00:25:11,967 --> 00:25:13,000 Any lads. 591 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,067 Yes? 592 00:25:18,167 --> 00:25:20,067 Pint, please. 593 00:25:20,167 --> 00:25:21,433 Veronica, you look a dick. 594 00:25:21,533 --> 00:25:22,333 Dirty old bastard! 595 00:25:22,433 --> 00:25:23,100 Shh! 596 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,500 Don't use her name. 597 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,400 Sorry. 598 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:27,333 She's here! 599 00:25:27,433 --> 00:25:28,400 FIONA: Pity. 600 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:30,367 I've just realized who you remind me of. 601 00:25:30,467 --> 00:25:32,600 Remember that bloke on the way to school with the rucksack? 602 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:35,567 The one we got level, who used to get his knob out? 603 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:38,267 [laughter] 604 00:25:38,367 --> 00:25:39,867 JEZ: Right, Veronica. 605 00:25:39,967 --> 00:25:40,800 Last warning. 606 00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,167 Let's have you. 607 00:25:49,067 --> 00:25:50,100 Fucking bitch! 608 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,100 FIONA: She's running a bit of a temperature, 609 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,600 and she says she's feeling a bit queasy. 610 00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:05,567 Aw. 611 00:26:05,667 --> 00:26:07,467 Oh, gosh, you're burning up. 612 00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:08,700 Shops aren't open yet. 613 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:09,767 Have you got any aspirin? 614 00:26:09,867 --> 00:26:11,267 No, I don't think so. 615 00:26:11,367 --> 00:26:13,033 But as luck would have it, I made 616 00:26:13,133 --> 00:26:14,633 a Martini sorbet yesterday. 617 00:26:14,733 --> 00:26:16,033 NEVILLE: Oh, I'm sorry. 618 00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:19,033 I think I might have polished that off last night. 619 00:26:19,133 --> 00:26:21,000 Going on down here today! 620 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:22,567 It's looking down! 621 00:26:28,567 --> 00:26:31,267 Ah, she's not well. 622 00:26:31,367 --> 00:26:32,933 Can I watch a movie, Dad? 623 00:26:33,033 --> 00:26:33,933 No. 624 00:26:34,033 --> 00:26:35,000 What? 625 00:26:37,433 --> 00:26:38,233 Oh, yeah. 626 00:26:38,333 --> 00:26:39,367 Well, it's-- yeah, all right. 627 00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:41,167 Yeah, what's-- wave me off. Yeah. 628 00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:41,933 OK. 629 00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:46,433 [music playing] 630 00:26:46,533 --> 00:26:48,000 He's still there. 631 00:26:50,733 --> 00:26:52,733 He's watching us. 632 00:26:52,833 --> 00:26:54,567 DEBBIE: Just trust me. 633 00:26:54,667 --> 00:26:57,367 If he finds out, he'll fucking havs us! 634 00:26:57,467 --> 00:27:00,533 Stop looking so obvious, and he never will. (WHISPERING) 635 00:27:00,633 --> 00:27:01,967 Talk to him. 636 00:27:02,067 --> 00:27:03,533 Talk to him. 637 00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:08,533 Hey, mate. 638 00:27:08,633 --> 00:27:14,667 Uh-- [mumbling] Ay? 639 00:27:14,767 --> 00:27:15,733 Oh, aye, aye, aye. 640 00:27:20,433 --> 00:27:21,333 Van. Now. 641 00:27:21,433 --> 00:27:22,267 Go! 642 00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:36,133 Hm. 643 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,900 People are complaining about the ladders out in the back. 644 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,433 Tell them they can have them. 645 00:27:57,533 --> 00:27:58,233 Where's the pint? 646 00:27:58,333 --> 00:28:00,533 Can you afford it? 647 00:28:00,633 --> 00:28:03,100 I had Debbie sod this. 648 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,367 How long do you think you can camp out 649 00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:05,367 here without getting off this? 650 00:28:05,467 --> 00:28:07,833 Six nights and seven more days. 651 00:28:07,933 --> 00:28:09,333 I can't get short of him. 652 00:28:09,433 --> 00:28:11,867 Well, wouldn't it be easier, eh, to actually get a job 653 00:28:11,967 --> 00:28:13,200 until your dad's gone? 654 00:28:20,233 --> 00:28:21,200 I'll bring the pint over. 655 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:22,800 With the right change. 656 00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:26,267 [music playing] 657 00:28:33,767 --> 00:28:35,633 What time is it? 658 00:28:35,733 --> 00:28:39,033 SHEILA: Half past seven. 659 00:28:39,133 --> 00:28:41,767 But look at this. 660 00:28:41,867 --> 00:28:43,867 Picture of your mother when she first worked as a clippy 661 00:28:43,967 --> 00:28:44,800 on the buses. 662 00:28:47,833 --> 00:28:50,567 That could be you in a skirt. 663 00:28:53,433 --> 00:28:56,033 How much do you look like her? 664 00:28:56,133 --> 00:28:58,867 NEVILLE: Wakey, wakey, working man. 665 00:28:58,967 --> 00:29:01,267 Get the bread home as soon as you can. 666 00:29:05,067 --> 00:29:07,067 [toilet flushing] 667 00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:11,333 Fuel for the worker. 668 00:29:11,433 --> 00:29:14,833 Workers, because all mothers are workers. 669 00:29:14,933 --> 00:29:17,367 And that's a fact. 670 00:29:17,467 --> 00:29:22,367 Formally acknowledged in the TUC Women's Charter in 1983. 671 00:29:22,467 --> 00:29:24,633 Et cetera. 672 00:29:24,733 --> 00:29:27,167 Anyway, thank you for the tea. 673 00:29:40,533 --> 00:29:41,633 Oh my God. 674 00:29:41,733 --> 00:29:44,300 Are you sure you don't want me in there with you? 675 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,867 Oh, give up. You'd only be in the way. 676 00:29:45,967 --> 00:29:47,467 Put your feet up, take your tablets. 677 00:29:47,567 --> 00:29:48,367 Think I'd better. 678 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,333 Come on, come on. 679 00:29:53,433 --> 00:29:54,133 Got to skate. 680 00:29:54,233 --> 00:29:55,300 I'd better be off to school. 681 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,067 Fuck's sake, don't let him see ya. 682 00:29:57,167 --> 00:30:00,067 - I've got a tenner. - Hey, have a fuck. 683 00:30:00,167 --> 00:30:01,600 I'll pay you Friday. 684 00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:10,567 They're still being breastfed, aren't they? 685 00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:11,600 I know. 686 00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:14,467 What, they can look, can't they? 687 00:30:14,567 --> 00:30:18,233 I'll get that washing up done before I shoot off to work. 688 00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:19,000 See ya. 689 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:20,967 See ya, Dad. 690 00:30:21,067 --> 00:30:24,533 [music playing] 691 00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:06,167 Nothing better to do, huh? 692 00:31:06,267 --> 00:31:09,667 Thought I'd give you and the, uh, lads a hand. 693 00:31:09,767 --> 00:31:10,867 No. 694 00:31:10,967 --> 00:31:12,233 Yeah. Yeah. 695 00:31:12,333 --> 00:31:13,300 Uh-- no. 696 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,400 They just want me down this side today. 697 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,767 There's just kind of a-- you know, 698 00:31:18,867 --> 00:31:21,267 kind of rote motion for me. 699 00:31:21,367 --> 00:31:22,500 A bit nearer on, Dad. You know? 700 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:23,600 Yeah. - So soon? 701 00:31:23,700 --> 00:31:24,533 Yeah. 702 00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:25,700 Yeah. 703 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,400 NEVILLE: Congratulations. 704 00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:29,933 Right. 705 00:31:30,033 --> 00:31:31,200 Let's get tucked in, then. 706 00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:37,033 Fuck are you up to? 707 00:31:37,133 --> 00:31:39,800 Well, I'm doing your windows, Lillian, love. 708 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:41,033 (QUIETLY) Here, here. 709 00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,433 Just help us out. 710 00:31:42,533 --> 00:31:43,467 Right? 711 00:31:43,567 --> 00:31:45,400 Just let it ride. LILLIAN: Bugger off. 712 00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:46,600 I know your game. 713 00:31:46,700 --> 00:31:49,800 We lost two telly's and a PlayStation last month. 714 00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:51,833 And I can't get insurance anymore. 715 00:31:51,933 --> 00:31:52,800 I'm gonna phone the police. 716 00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:53,733 Lillian, love! 717 00:31:56,933 --> 00:31:58,733 [car alarm] 718 00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:00,533 Hey, hey, hey. 719 00:32:00,633 --> 00:32:01,533 Fuck's sake. 720 00:32:01,633 --> 00:32:02,967 My stomach's doing somersaults here. 721 00:32:03,067 --> 00:32:10,233 You filthy, scummy, bone-eyed little shite. 722 00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,200 Hey. 723 00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:12,500 Come on! 724 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,367 Cut it out, Dad. 725 00:32:14,467 --> 00:32:16,200 Fucking-- you'll break my neck here. 726 00:32:16,300 --> 00:32:18,267 NEVILLE: Two minutes after you were born, 727 00:32:18,367 --> 00:32:21,333 they let me cut the cord. 728 00:32:21,433 --> 00:32:23,667 One of the proudest moments of my life. 729 00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:27,167 If I had known what a fucking heretic you'd been, 730 00:32:27,267 --> 00:32:30,767 I'd have let you bleed to death right there! 731 00:32:30,867 --> 00:32:32,500 (NERVOUSLY) Dad? 732 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,333 Now when your mother died, she made me promise 733 00:32:36,433 --> 00:32:38,633 that I'd take care of you. 734 00:32:38,733 --> 00:32:40,200 So I will. 735 00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:41,800 Stop it! Stop it! 736 00:32:41,900 --> 00:32:42,700 Stop it. 737 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,033 You killed her. 738 00:32:45,133 --> 00:32:49,700 She's up there now, gassing her own fucking 739 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,833 womb with good men and women all standing beside her. 740 00:32:53,933 --> 00:32:57,800 [dog barking] 741 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,067 [nervous laughter] 742 00:33:08,167 --> 00:33:10,233 [groaning] 743 00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:19,933 Wait. 744 00:33:20,033 --> 00:33:21,033 Wait. 745 00:33:25,967 --> 00:33:26,800 You still pay as you go? 746 00:33:29,333 --> 00:33:34,967 Meaning-- no pay, no go. 747 00:33:35,067 --> 00:33:37,567 You're out of credit. 748 00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:54,933 [laughter] You-- you vicious, mean, up-your-own-ass old man. 749 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:56,133 And them's not my words. 750 00:33:56,233 --> 00:33:57,300 You know that? 751 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,300 That's what me mum used to call ya. 752 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,267 Yeah. 753 00:34:01,367 --> 00:34:02,967 Yeah. 754 00:34:03,067 --> 00:34:04,267 Yeah, other things that used to make us 755 00:34:04,367 --> 00:34:06,733 both smile were "sanctimonious old goat" 756 00:34:06,833 --> 00:34:08,067 and "devious old cunt." 757 00:34:14,033 --> 00:34:19,667 Because she knew she was better than you. 758 00:34:19,767 --> 00:34:22,333 So did everybody in the TUC. 759 00:34:22,433 --> 00:34:26,933 Three years younger, and she was flying way beyond you. 760 00:34:27,033 --> 00:34:30,567 Which is the only reason you got-- 761 00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:34,333 you got her pregnant. 762 00:34:34,433 --> 00:34:39,200 And that's the only reason you smiled when I was born. 763 00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:45,233 Because you-- because you knew you'd slowed her down. 764 00:34:50,467 --> 00:34:54,300 [laughter] You know, my only promise 765 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,900 to my mom before she died-- 766 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,133 eh? 767 00:34:59,233 --> 00:35:02,333 I'd have you cremated. 768 00:35:02,433 --> 00:35:04,133 Because she knew how much you wanted to be 769 00:35:04,233 --> 00:35:07,267 buried for us all to blub over. 770 00:35:07,367 --> 00:35:09,033 Then I'd bury your ashes around the toilet 771 00:35:09,133 --> 00:35:12,567 block of the Conservative Club. 772 00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:14,167 Yeah? 773 00:35:14,267 --> 00:35:17,133 Which I promised. 774 00:35:17,233 --> 00:35:20,667 So I fucking will! 775 00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:43,533 [laughter] 776 00:35:43,633 --> 00:35:45,333 No. 777 00:35:45,433 --> 00:35:46,433 Oi! 778 00:35:46,533 --> 00:35:47,200 Oi! 779 00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:50,100 In your corner, Mitzy. 780 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:54,467 Get your hands off my lager, and get the fuck out 781 00:35:54,567 --> 00:35:55,967 of my house. 782 00:35:56,067 --> 00:35:57,933 Karen brought the lagers for you. 783 00:35:58,033 --> 00:35:59,033 Along with the rest. 784 00:36:05,133 --> 00:36:07,300 The only reason I got the job at the Jockey 785 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:09,100 is because Jez thinks I'm gay. 786 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,200 I'm not interested in a bloke with that much hair. 787 00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,367 And every time you say she is, you're threatening to get 788 00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:16,200 sacked. 789 00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:18,133 And she's done fuck all wrong. 790 00:36:18,233 --> 00:36:19,333 Well, except for defending myself 791 00:36:19,433 --> 00:36:20,700 when you start having a go. 792 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,267 Which I'll be the first to apologize for, Veronica. 793 00:36:23,367 --> 00:36:25,300 I'll get your suspension lifted, plus I'll knock a few 794 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,567 off your bar bill when I can. 795 00:36:27,667 --> 00:36:30,700 And all me tips are going to be shared with Kev. 796 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,333 Absolutely 50/50. 797 00:36:40,333 --> 00:36:43,100 Yeah, I'm sorry and all. 798 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,333 Jockey tonight? 799 00:36:44,433 --> 00:36:46,633 Me own clothes? 800 00:36:46,733 --> 00:36:49,100 See, this is what she's like after you've had a barney. 801 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,533 Calls me a useless speck of a husband 802 00:36:50,633 --> 00:36:52,800 with a lumpy little dick, and thinks sorry's enough. 803 00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:55,033 Don't know what you're on about. 804 00:36:55,133 --> 00:36:56,567 Well, it's Jez that needs convincing. 805 00:36:56,667 --> 00:37:00,033 You're far from out of the fucking woods here, gummy bear. 806 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,600 [shouting] 807 00:37:05,700 --> 00:37:06,800 Jez? 808 00:37:06,900 --> 00:37:08,167 Can I nip to the loo while it's quiet? 809 00:37:08,267 --> 00:37:13,233 Course you can, sweetheart What can I get you? 810 00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:17,333 Jez, would you mind if I nip for a slice while it's quiet? 811 00:37:17,433 --> 00:37:19,400 Not one of your long ones. 812 00:37:23,167 --> 00:37:24,433 I'll be back in a sec. 813 00:37:24,533 --> 00:37:28,400 If you help yourself, I'll cut your hands off. 814 00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:31,067 It's a waste! 815 00:37:31,167 --> 00:37:33,667 It's not my fault. She-- she dived on me. 816 00:37:33,767 --> 00:37:36,033 You filthy, two-timing cow. 817 00:37:36,133 --> 00:37:37,700 Don't tell Kev, Jez. 818 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:38,700 God, please. 819 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:39,667 Back to work, you. 820 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,433 I might've known. 821 00:37:44,533 --> 00:37:46,633 The fucking hypocrites I've had to put up with. 822 00:37:46,733 --> 00:37:47,867 And it's always women. 823 00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:48,900 VERONICA: I'll drink down the butterfly. 824 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,100 You can ban me forever. 825 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,467 Just don't tell Kev. 826 00:37:55,367 --> 00:37:56,600 So what do you think, then? 827 00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:58,000 Don't know. 828 00:37:58,100 --> 00:38:00,600 She's a foxy little tink, isn't she, our Karen? 829 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:01,833 Well, yeah. 830 00:38:01,933 --> 00:38:04,067 It's never happened to me before. 831 00:38:04,167 --> 00:38:04,967 She makes me funny. 832 00:38:05,067 --> 00:38:06,367 Go all wavy. 833 00:38:06,467 --> 00:38:10,267 JEZ: Touch her again, you'll have me to answer to. 834 00:38:10,367 --> 00:38:12,267 Might not be a bad thing. 835 00:38:12,367 --> 00:38:14,867 Tidy yourself up and I'll, uh-- 836 00:38:14,967 --> 00:38:16,333 I'll pay you a drink home. 837 00:38:25,833 --> 00:38:28,400 LILLIAN: I've got the biggest hard-on you've ever seen. 838 00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,800 [laughter] 839 00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:33,967 Get in here, you dirty bitch. 840 00:38:34,067 --> 00:38:36,533 [laughter] 841 00:38:39,867 --> 00:38:45,600 I pumped his chest, and then I blew in his thingy till the-- 842 00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:46,700 ambulance arrived. 843 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,167 And then I said, can I go with him? 844 00:38:49,267 --> 00:38:51,333 And they said, no. 845 00:38:51,433 --> 00:38:52,800 No point, mate. 846 00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:54,767 FIONA: Steve, get over there now. 847 00:38:54,867 --> 00:38:55,933 I need a lift to the hospital. 848 00:38:56,033 --> 00:38:57,667 Where did they take him? 849 00:38:57,767 --> 00:38:59,533 How the fuck do I know? 850 00:38:59,633 --> 00:39:00,600 They just drove off. 851 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:04,800 I'll tell you when you get here. 852 00:39:07,667 --> 00:39:09,300 It's an ambulance? 853 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,167 I know it was a fucking ambulance, Carl. 854 00:39:11,267 --> 00:39:12,633 I want to know where they took him. 855 00:39:12,733 --> 00:39:13,567 No. Here. 856 00:39:13,667 --> 00:39:14,533 There's an ambulance here. 857 00:39:14,633 --> 00:39:16,100 What for now? 858 00:39:33,167 --> 00:39:35,267 Guess who's not dead. 859 00:39:35,367 --> 00:39:36,200 Again! 860 00:39:41,067 --> 00:39:43,267 Hiatus hernia. 861 00:39:43,367 --> 00:39:45,000 They slugged me full of antacids, 862 00:39:45,100 --> 00:39:47,933 and it faded like a bad dream. 863 00:39:48,033 --> 00:39:50,800 In and out a casualty in less than seven hours. 864 00:39:50,900 --> 00:39:53,267 That's pretty good for a free service. 865 00:39:53,367 --> 00:39:54,400 You look good to me. 866 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:55,800 SHEILA: You look wonderful, Neville. 867 00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:57,800 We thought you'd died. 868 00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:09,167 [gasping] Gosh, how'd you feel if you 869 00:40:09,267 --> 00:40:12,767 thought your dad was dead, and it turned out he wasn't. 870 00:40:12,867 --> 00:40:15,600 I-- I know, Sheila. 871 00:40:15,700 --> 00:40:17,900 Shocking. 872 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,733 Medical staff said you were to be commended 873 00:40:19,833 --> 00:40:23,200 on all your first aid. 874 00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:24,000 Yeah? 875 00:40:24,100 --> 00:40:25,867 NEVILLE: Very much so. 876 00:40:25,967 --> 00:40:28,067 Witnesses testified. 877 00:40:28,167 --> 00:40:29,167 That so? 878 00:40:34,700 --> 00:40:35,533 So. 879 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:47,967 You take back every single word. 880 00:40:48,067 --> 00:40:49,700 Get fucked. 881 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,033 She totally worshipped me. 882 00:40:52,133 --> 00:40:55,867 I used to piss in your bait box. 883 00:40:55,967 --> 00:40:56,867 Don't overdo it, Dad. 884 00:40:56,967 --> 00:40:59,967 Don't want a repeat now, do we? 885 00:41:00,067 --> 00:41:02,867 Aye, he wants to go back to his own flat. 886 00:41:02,967 --> 00:41:06,933 They're excited about the paint job. 887 00:41:07,033 --> 00:41:08,800 SHEILA (VOICEOVER): Being an only child, 888 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:11,967 I was very touched by the warmth of the big family. 889 00:41:12,067 --> 00:41:13,100 I loved it. 890 00:41:16,167 --> 00:41:18,600 Eric, your new temporary foster parents, 891 00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:20,167 Veronica and Kevin Ball. 892 00:41:20,267 --> 00:41:25,367 From now on, we've just got to try really hard to kill him. 893 00:41:25,467 --> 00:41:26,267 Eric! 894 00:41:26,367 --> 00:41:27,100 Don't! 895 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,467 You'll fuck the fucking engine! 896 00:41:28,567 --> 00:41:30,333 CONSTABLE: Green Cherokee, Eastern Street Car Park. 897 00:41:30,433 --> 00:41:32,100 You've been caught on CCTV, Steve. 898 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,033 Whose is it? 899 00:41:33,133 --> 00:41:34,667 Chief Inspector's. 900 00:41:34,767 --> 00:41:35,767 Do you remember school? 901 00:41:35,867 --> 00:41:36,700 The fucking carnival? 902 00:41:39,033 --> 00:41:42,400 You can't just snatch a kid and expect to get away with it, 903 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,200 you daft sod. 904 00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:45,333 They were turning him over! 905 00:41:45,433 --> 00:41:47,000 Fucking shit! 906 00:41:47,100 --> 00:41:48,600 It's not funny, Steve! 907 00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:49,900 He's freaking me out. 908 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,667 I keep dreaming about the house being on fire. 909 00:41:52,767 --> 00:41:53,567 Yeah! 910 00:41:55,067 --> 00:41:57,567 [theme music] 911 00:42:35,933 --> 00:42:38,733 Whatever Frank and Sheila are having, 912 00:42:38,833 --> 00:42:40,533 and a quick scotch for me. 913 00:42:43,867 --> 00:42:45,333 This is on me, son. 914 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,800 FRANK: Tell you what, Dad. 915 00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:09,533 Stick it right up your ass. 916 00:43:09,633 --> 00:43:11,167 No, Frank. 917 00:43:11,267 --> 00:43:12,633 I did that before I came in here. 918 00:43:15,567 --> 00:43:17,900 Cheers. 919 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,167 Drinks are on Frank.