1 00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:07,233 Look at me, right? 2 00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:09,067 And look at the Queen. 3 00:00:09,167 --> 00:00:11,800 I was never a fan until it occurred to me how 4 00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,500 much me and mom have in common. 5 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,167 Bringing up kiddies you can't remember the names of. 6 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,100 I know she's not a single parent, 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,567 but she might as well one. 8 00:00:19,667 --> 00:00:22,300 Plus, the pair of us, we stuck to our guns, 9 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,733 her literally sometimes, and flagshipped a dying breed. 10 00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:28,833 Admired and despised equally, not 11 00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:31,167 for never lifting a finger, no. 12 00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:33,900 For setting examples through extremity. 13 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,700 And whether you're a bigwig on her end or a bigwig on mine, 14 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,533 you still got all your dickheads in the middle 15 00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:40,967 to deal with snip, snip, snipping at your benefits. 16 00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:43,733 I mean, she can't not be looked at me and thinking, 17 00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,833 what's your secret, Frank? 18 00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:48,400 I got a shot of my kid's yonks backs, 19 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,700 whereas she's yet to see the back of a single one. 20 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,900 Fine. 21 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,233 I've had to get out of bed on occasion 22 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,867 to make ends meet, whereas she, she's done 23 00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:59,033 the whole thing from a chair. 24 00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:00,700 And a drink for the lady. 25 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,233 Oh, sure, there's perks. 26 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:06,567 But look at her lot, Brian May prancing about on her roof. 27 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,500 Now, look at my lot. 28 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,133 We know how to throw a proper fucking party. 29 00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:23,067 BILLY (VOICEOVER): If you knew what 30 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:27,700 other people thought of you, would you behave the same? 31 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:31,600 The way I see it, there's two versions of yourself. 32 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,767 There's that you that everyone else sees, 33 00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:39,400 you know, what they think of you, how they see you. 34 00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:45,400 Then there's that you that you see. 35 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,300 What you really think about yourself. 36 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,167 It's all about the rights of people. 37 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:50,700 The rights of men, the rights of women. 38 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:55,467 Not just about tarts under horses at the derby. 39 00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:58,000 BILLY (VOICEOVER): And sometimes, those two versions, 40 00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:01,567 they're really different. 41 00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:02,667 Twat. 42 00:02:02,767 --> 00:02:04,733 Dickhead. 43 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:08,500 BILLY (VOICEOVER): But sometimes they're the same. 44 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,233 It's all right being exactly what 45 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,433 people think you are if you're cool, like Rambo 46 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,033 or the Terminator. 47 00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:17,967 But who'd want to be Billy Tutton? 48 00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:21,267 No one, that's who. 49 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,033 No experience required. 50 00:02:23,133 --> 00:02:26,800 Make up to 1,000 pounds per week, and car included. 51 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,467 Do you really think I can do it? 52 00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:29,333 No. 53 00:02:29,433 --> 00:02:31,133 Fix it or I'll have your balls. 54 00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:32,133 Go on, then. 55 00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:33,833 Ask me one of those questions. 56 00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:35,133 What's going on? 57 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:37,667 William here's sick of being bone idle. 58 00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:40,300 Since when? 59 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:45,500 So William, what are your strengths and weaknesses? 60 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,167 I've been knocked unconscious maybe seven or eight times, 61 00:02:48,267 --> 00:02:51,333 and I've got no permanent brain injury. 62 00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:52,800 My weaknesses? 63 00:02:52,900 --> 00:02:54,967 OK. 64 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:58,967 I'm not a very quick learner, but when I get it, I've got it, 65 00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:03,567 and not even a crowbar to the skull will make me forget it. 66 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:04,800 What'd you think? 67 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,833 I wouldn't build your hopes up. 68 00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:09,933 Besides, which you've already got 69 00:03:10,033 --> 00:03:15,567 the most important job in the world, bringing up Little Miss 70 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,700 Poo Poo Pants. 71 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,933 Go to Daddy. 72 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,300 That's more your style, lad, shit patrol. 73 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,400 What happened? 74 00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,167 I've got a strong personality. 75 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:47,667 Kids struggle with it. 76 00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:49,700 Which kids? 77 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,633 I can't help if you won't tell me? 78 00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:52,733 You can't help anyway. 79 00:03:56,867 --> 00:03:58,100 There's a case of lager if you can 80 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,300 clear it up before the council finds 81 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,433 out what we've been dumping. 82 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,467 All right, two cases of lager. 83 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,500 So how would your colleagues describe you? 84 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,800 What? 85 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,467 Oh, oh, right. 86 00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:19,200 Well, no one really pays much attention to me. 87 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,733 But this sales job would change all 88 00:04:20,833 --> 00:04:24,033 that, because people respect you if you're good at something. 89 00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:26,533 What you doing? 90 00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:27,267 That's hanging, bro. 91 00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,567 Now smell it. - No. 92 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:29,800 Come on, give him a kiss. 93 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:32,100 No, man. 94 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,667 Just imagine people thinking I've done all right. 95 00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:35,633 My wife, looking at me proud. 96 00:04:49,133 --> 00:04:50,100 Little bastards. 97 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,600 I want to more than balls deep in shit. 98 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,067 You peddling hummus? 99 00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:05,933 It's a private matter, Mimi, so-- 100 00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:07,433 Well, you're going to spit it out, 101 00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:10,500 or do I have to go listen to my wire in Vernon's office? 102 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:15,367 Thalia's having problems with other kids. 103 00:05:15,467 --> 00:05:17,300 Well, tell her to punch them. 104 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,467 We're not fighting pitbulls. 105 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:20,800 This is delicate, Mimi. 106 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:25,833 And delicacy, no offense, isn't really your thing, is it? 107 00:05:25,933 --> 00:05:28,667 She was happy till we moved her here. 108 00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:29,767 I failed her. 109 00:05:29,867 --> 00:05:31,867 My son's been stoned for a year. 110 00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:33,067 I know failure. 111 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,933 There's no reason to pick on her. 112 00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:36,333 She's only been here a few months, 113 00:05:36,433 --> 00:05:38,833 and it's not like she's fat or ugly. 114 00:05:38,933 --> 00:05:43,200 We take bullying very seriously, extremely seriously. 115 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:46,667 It's just we can't do very much about it. 116 00:05:46,767 --> 00:05:48,200 So-- 117 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:51,133 I want something done, and if I have to go to the papers, 118 00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:52,300 to the Education Department-- 119 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,967 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 120 00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:55,467 You misunderstand. 121 00:05:55,567 --> 00:05:57,767 Of course, we'll do everything we can. 122 00:05:57,867 --> 00:06:01,533 There's government grants for all this anti-bullying caper. 123 00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:02,767 Mimi Tutton-- 124 00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,300 Mimi Tutton? 125 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,067 Bullying's right up her alley. 126 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,133 What you know about sales? 127 00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:17,767 I've sold things before. 128 00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:19,033 Drugs, Billy. 129 00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:20,600 Not security systems. 130 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:24,133 Drugs, house alarms, once you get to know your product, 131 00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:25,833 you know how to sell it. 132 00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:27,367 I've got transferable skills. 133 00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:29,133 It's not like we need the money. 134 00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:30,333 It's not about the money. 135 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,633 I'm supporting us both fine, aren't I? 136 00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:33,633 - Yeah, but-- - You don't want for nothing. 137 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,800 Here you go. 138 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,300 You all right, love? 139 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:09,533 I've got a job interview at 10:00 next door. 140 00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:11,233 Today's your day? 141 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:14,133 Everyone expects me to fuck up. 142 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:16,200 Try that thing where you imagine the interviewer 143 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,867 sitting on the toilet with their pants 144 00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:19,433 down, like everybody else. 145 00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:30,900 Wait. 146 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,033 What if it's a woman, and I get a stiffy? 147 00:07:36,433 --> 00:07:39,267 You're here because you're all little shits. 148 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,767 You target the weak, the pitiful, 149 00:07:41,867 --> 00:07:45,767 and that little, bald weirdo with the alopecia. 150 00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,433 Let me be clear. 151 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:50,800 I don't give two figs, but you gave Thalia 152 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,967 Blanco a proper shiner, and her mom's 153 00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,800 got a gob the size of Africa. 154 00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,133 So who was it? 155 00:08:04,533 --> 00:08:06,500 Who was it? 156 00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:18,467 Thalia made fun of Jones. 157 00:08:18,567 --> 00:08:20,733 That kid with the bowel disorder? 158 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,333 And he spazzed out and punched her. 159 00:08:23,433 --> 00:08:25,367 Let me get this straight. 160 00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:29,167 Thalia Blanco bullied a vulnerable child? 161 00:08:38,933 --> 00:08:41,400 Fuck. 162 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,433 Get out. 163 00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:46,233 And don't come back, you smack addict. 164 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:47,400 Methadone, my balls. 165 00:08:49,933 --> 00:08:51,333 You all right, love? 166 00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:53,767 Interview not go well then? 167 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,467 Not your day either, is it? 168 00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:23,233 We need to remember, bullying hurts everyone. 169 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,400 Not just the target, but the bully as well. 170 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,033 Schools have a duty of care to protect kids, 171 00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:30,133 and maybe that should mean excluding bullies. 172 00:09:30,233 --> 00:09:32,600 Believe me, if it was that easy to get rid of they. 173 00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,600 This is serious. 174 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,133 Yes, of course, it is. 175 00:09:35,233 --> 00:09:38,700 If Thalia engaged in bullying, you'd support excluding her? 176 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:41,233 - 100%. - You sure? 177 00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:41,967 Yes. 178 00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:44,500 Thalia's a bully. 179 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,833 What? 180 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:50,767 The kids don't like her, because she repeatedly engages 181 00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:53,300 in planned and orchestrated attempts 182 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,333 at character assassination. 183 00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,433 Oh dear. 184 00:09:58,533 --> 00:09:59,233 No, no. 185 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,633 There must be a mistake. 186 00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:03,800 She wouldn't-- she couldn't-- 187 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,933 She did. 188 00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:07,300 But-- 189 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,267 Esther, There's no need for denial anymore. 190 00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,033 We're not here to judge. 191 00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:27,733 Hey, Billy? 192 00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:28,833 Yeah? 193 00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:31,267 You're doing fucking marvelous. 194 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:48,933 I'm employed. 195 00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:50,767 - Serious? - Serious. 196 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:51,900 I'm a cook in the cafe next door. 197 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:52,900 You're a cook? 198 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,500 Yeah, I make 150 squid a week. 199 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,400 In cash. - That's it? 200 00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:58,667 And you have to go every day? 201 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:00,067 Yeah. 202 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:01,700 But you're earning peanuts for shoveling grease. 203 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,400 Mimi will proper respect you now. 204 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,167 Oy. 205 00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,733 I look like a salesman, don't I? 206 00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:15,833 So? 207 00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:17,333 So who's to know any different? 208 00:11:17,433 --> 00:11:20,400 If I tell her I'm a salesmen, I'm a salesman, aren't I? 209 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,333 Boosh. 210 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:38,467 Mr. Hard Lock Security at your service. 211 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:39,300 You're joking? 212 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,400 They hired you in a recession? 213 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,067 With no skills, no experience, no training? 214 00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:45,267 You got a job? 215 00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,233 I blew the fucking roof off, babe. 216 00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,133 Boosh. 217 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,533 I'm Billy Tutton, and I'm a cook. 218 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,767 What are you doing out here on your own, love? 219 00:12:57,867 --> 00:12:59,433 Frank nipped my keys. 220 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,667 What's that? 221 00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:13,733 Oh, it's broken. 222 00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:15,633 It's stuck on this channel. 223 00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:17,167 It's foreign. 224 00:13:17,267 --> 00:13:18,233 Aerobics Channel. 225 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:26,867 You haven't been impersonating some poor girl as The Minger 226 00:13:26,967 --> 00:13:28,133 from Notre Dame. 227 00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:29,333 But she's a minger. 228 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:32,533 Oh, wait, I got a picture. 229 00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:35,533 OK, she's not very pretty, but that's not the point. 230 00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:37,933 Thalia, you shouldn't make fun of people. 231 00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:38,867 You do. 232 00:13:38,967 --> 00:13:39,767 I do not. 233 00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:41,933 Yes, you do. 234 00:13:42,033 --> 00:13:44,033 Come anywhere near me with that knob, 235 00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:49,567 and I'll rag it off you, and I'll ram it up your ass. 236 00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:51,567 Oh, Derrilee, Sher-- 237 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,300 Sherrilee Duffy. 238 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,600 Anybody seen my bloody glasses? 239 00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:03,400 Well, yes, but it was wrong. 240 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,467 If someone's ugly, don't point it out. 241 00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:09,100 Just say how nice her dress is instead. 242 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,000 What if the dress is minger too? 243 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,733 Just say it's pretty anyway. 244 00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:15,267 It's the teeniest lie. 245 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:16,667 The truth is the truth, isn't it? 246 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,500 There you go. 247 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,633 What? Really? 248 00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:27,133 I can have them? 249 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,267 Three days after the sell by date, but you cook it well. 250 00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:36,467 You all right, love? 251 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:37,533 It's nothing. 252 00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,633 It's just thanks. 253 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:54,633 Six across, the Egyptian President, died 1970. 254 00:14:54,733 --> 00:14:55,533 Sheik Kebab. 255 00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:00,133 How do you spell it? 256 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,633 Any way you want, love. 257 00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:04,467 Nobody can know everything. 258 00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:05,400 Nits, Lillian. 259 00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:06,300 Bloody nits. 260 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,167 You see, what you got to make clear to the client 261 00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:15,167 is you're not selling security, you're selling peace of mind. 262 00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,800 And can you put a price on that? 263 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,900 But you're not selling security. 264 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,100 You're flipping eggs. 265 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,800 This job has changed my life. 266 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,567 Maybe I should buy cufflinks. 267 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,933 Do you have a shirt that needs cufflinks? 268 00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:29,533 No, but just the thought of buying them 269 00:15:29,633 --> 00:15:33,200 makes me feel proud, like I'm a man who needs cufflinks. 270 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,633 But you don't need them. 271 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,200 You don't have a shirt, because you don't have the job. 272 00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,767 Yeah, but nobody knows that, do they? 273 00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:41,033 I made it all right. 274 00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:43,633 Billy Tutton has finally become a man. 275 00:15:54,533 --> 00:15:56,433 So talk me through how you do it. 276 00:15:56,533 --> 00:15:57,467 Sell me security. 277 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,433 Once you've got them sold on cameras, 278 00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:05,633 you can flog them deadbolts, window guards. 279 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:10,533 Give the windows a shake, and look grave. 280 00:16:10,633 --> 00:16:13,567 Shitting themselves is exactly where you want them. 281 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:17,133 I getting them shitting their pants, I shake the windows, 282 00:16:17,233 --> 00:16:18,733 and then look grave. 283 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,967 You look fiercer than James Bond in that suit. 284 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,233 Like me, eh? 285 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:30,233 I've got my very own Hard Cock consultant. 286 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:43,033 I had started believing, you know, 287 00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:47,500 that I might actually be nothing, a nobody. 288 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,900 Having a job doesn't make you somebody. 289 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,167 You do that. 290 00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:55,000 Well, how am I somebody? 291 00:16:58,967 --> 00:17:03,267 Well, you've got a heart the size of a horse, you pillock. 292 00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:09,767 You mean, it won't matter if I didn't have the job? 293 00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:11,467 The suit? 294 00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,000 Just me would be enough? 295 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,600 I loved you penniless in trainers, didn't I? 296 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,633 Nice having the new car though, eh? 297 00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:27,467 Oh, yeah. 298 00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:28,567 The other car. 299 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:40,967 [music - snoop dogg, "bpoom"] Get your money, whip your hair. 300 00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:43,067 Executive branch blowing smoke like a player. 301 00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,300 yeah, in the club, yes, it cracks. 302 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,733 Cute little mama, but they stacked with backs. 303 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,400 I'm smoking grape, purple urkle. 304 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,467 You and Doggy world come and join the circle. 305 00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:54,900 I break down herbal till I move like a turtle. 306 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,100 My money is green, and my Porsche is turbo. 307 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,467 In hot pursuit, come rock with Snoop. 308 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:02,567 Baby's a lawyer, her body's the truth. 309 00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:03,800 I'm in the game for real. 310 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,067 It pays to chill. 311 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,067 I walk in the club, and they front the bill. 312 00:18:07,167 --> 00:18:09,200 I'm the Big Dogg, best beware. 313 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,500 You coming with me. 314 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,833 If you stop and stare, she'll be on my team, 315 00:18:12,933 --> 00:18:15,133 in my car, all the way to the spot. 316 00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:16,267 Yes, you are. 317 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:18,533 Toasting up, hosting us. 318 00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:20,367 What you playing at? 319 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,733 A car? 320 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:23,433 Well, how am I supposed to make my sales without wheels? 321 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:24,267 Really? 322 00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:25,633 You're not a fucking salesman. 323 00:18:25,733 --> 00:18:26,867 That's why I'm only renting it. 324 00:18:26,967 --> 00:18:29,967 Just a mid-range hatchback, nothing flash. 325 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:30,900 How much? 326 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:31,933 200 quid a week. 327 00:18:32,033 --> 00:18:33,333 You only make you 150. 328 00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:34,967 What's the point in being a hotshot salesman 329 00:18:35,067 --> 00:18:36,267 if you're not flushed with cash? 330 00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:37,567 But you're not flushed with cash. 331 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:38,800 I know that, Einstein. 332 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,500 I've got to project an image of success, haven't I? 333 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,000 Can I come in? 334 00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:50,100 Oh, sorry, pet, but kids are full of filth, 335 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,533 and I can't have that in me brothel. 336 00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:53,433 Sorry. 337 00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:58,733 Your best champagne. 338 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:00,767 Not got any. 339 00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:01,833 Lager then. 340 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:03,533 He's got a car now. 341 00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:04,900 I'm wet with excitement. 342 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,667 I'll have a lager, and a double vodka chaser on Billy. 343 00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,533 See as you're flush with cash. 344 00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:10,667 Drinks on Billy. 345 00:19:13,433 --> 00:19:16,233 Nice to see a Chatsworth lad making something of himself. 346 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:18,500 Not like the rest of you inbreed lazy fucks. 347 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,500 What are you doing? 348 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,733 For the drinks. 349 00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,000 You're fucked now, Billy boy. 350 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,333 You'll have to rob a bank to keep this up. 351 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,267 Really though? 352 00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,467 Well, where else are you going to get it from? 353 00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:48,000 Don't use your keys, you dick. 354 00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,767 Well, how else are we going to get in? 355 00:20:04,933 --> 00:20:05,767 Stop messing about. 356 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:07,033 Start acting like a burglar. 357 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:11,400 What you doing? 358 00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,167 Burglars don't respect property, do they? 359 00:20:13,267 --> 00:20:14,667 My Aunt Harriet gave us that for our wedding. 360 00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,700 Well, seen as a burglar don't know your Aunt Harriet, 361 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,267 he won't give a fuck, would he? 362 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,233 Me keeping it real is well going to save our ass. 363 00:20:20,333 --> 00:20:21,633 Right, right, right. 364 00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:24,633 Make it look real, just hurry the fuck up about it. 365 00:20:24,733 --> 00:20:25,833 Maybe I should shit in the bed? 366 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:26,767 No. 367 00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:28,767 Well, piss in the sink? 368 00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:31,100 Making it real, means cash, jewelry, 369 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,267 thinks people would steal. 370 00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:45,467 What you doing? 371 00:20:45,567 --> 00:20:46,867 I said, no pissing. 372 00:20:46,967 --> 00:20:47,933 You said not in the sink. 373 00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:49,033 This is the hallway. 374 00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,133 Lie, she stays. 375 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,100 What happened? 376 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,567 I did just as you said. 377 00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:03,633 I said be nice to people. 378 00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:04,733 How were you nice? 379 00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:06,133 I told Stuart that Bec probably 380 00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:08,100 liked him because he likes her. 381 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,600 He were well happy. 382 00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:11,067 What's wrong with that? 383 00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:13,600 Bec kicks him in the balls when he tried to kiss her. 384 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:14,667 So she doesn't like him? 385 00:21:14,767 --> 00:21:15,567 Course not. 386 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:16,600 He's a skidmark. 387 00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,767 Now how do you think Stuart now feels? 388 00:21:19,867 --> 00:21:21,733 This is how he feels. 389 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:23,367 You are a terrible mother. 390 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,733 Almost two grand. 391 00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:36,200 I'm laughing. 392 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:37,500 Right. 393 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,033 What we're going to do is keep the gear here till it's 394 00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:40,500 safe to move, and then-- 395 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,033 You have to find somewhere else to put all this shit. 396 00:21:42,133 --> 00:21:43,767 You'd have to be a fucking idiot to want any of it. 397 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,433 Can you not go any faster? 398 00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:53,867 My legs are shorter than yours. 399 00:21:53,967 --> 00:21:56,100 - Just make yours go quicker. - Fuck off. 400 00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:16,767 You all right? 401 00:22:16,867 --> 00:22:17,833 You all right? 402 00:22:17,933 --> 00:22:18,767 All right. 403 00:22:38,267 --> 00:22:40,933 - I heard you need a new TV? - No. 404 00:22:41,033 --> 00:22:42,367 Because yours is stuck on aerobics. 405 00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:47,433 Just take it, early Christmas. 406 00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:59,167 Since I got you a new TV, maybe we could be friends? 407 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,400 Come on. 408 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:37,867 It's OK. 409 00:23:37,967 --> 00:23:41,533 No, Billy, it's not OK. 410 00:23:41,633 --> 00:23:45,000 I had no idea that locket meant so much to you. 411 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:48,033 It's the only thing my mom ever gave to me. 412 00:23:48,133 --> 00:23:51,000 The only good memory of her that I've got. 413 00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:53,067 When I find the fucker who did this-- 414 00:23:53,167 --> 00:23:55,867 It's in the past now, babe, just forget it. 415 00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:57,600 I'll never forget this, Billy. 416 00:23:57,700 --> 00:24:00,067 Someone has taken a massive dump on our lives. 417 00:24:00,167 --> 00:24:01,167 It's just a little piss. 418 00:24:01,267 --> 00:24:02,600 I got the Febreeze straight on it. 419 00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:07,100 When When I find the fucker who's done this, 420 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:11,033 I'll rip him apart limb from fucking limb. 421 00:24:19,267 --> 00:24:21,467 How did they know where the money was? 422 00:24:21,567 --> 00:24:24,933 Tonight's about emptying your mind of worries. 423 00:24:25,033 --> 00:24:26,433 Oh, turn this shite off. 424 00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:29,667 It's more irritating than a bloody yeast infection. 425 00:24:39,433 --> 00:24:41,400 It's someone who knows us. 426 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,067 Who knows we wouldn't be home. 427 00:24:44,167 --> 00:24:46,100 Knows we've got cash. 428 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,767 I bet it's one of them bastards from the Jockey. 429 00:24:49,867 --> 00:24:53,367 Can't we just pretend like none of this happened? 430 00:24:53,467 --> 00:24:55,267 Probably bought the fucker a drink. 431 00:24:58,933 --> 00:25:01,500 Well, drink up, sunshine, because you'll 432 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,200 be lucky to shit through a straw when 433 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:07,100 my boys are finished with you. 434 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,567 Just forget it now. 435 00:25:08,667 --> 00:25:10,133 You'll never find them. 436 00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:11,533 Oh, we'll find them. 437 00:25:11,633 --> 00:25:15,067 If we have to rough up every screw from ear to China, 438 00:25:15,167 --> 00:25:16,167 we'll find them. 439 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:57,033 They know. 440 00:25:57,133 --> 00:25:58,467 Who knows? 441 00:25:58,567 --> 00:25:59,700 Jamie and Shane. 442 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:00,800 We're fucked. 443 00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:02,000 If they knew, Mimi would know. 444 00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:03,267 We'd already be dead. 445 00:26:03,367 --> 00:26:04,467 If I could just give her back the locket. 446 00:26:04,567 --> 00:26:05,900 Oh, yeah, sign your own death warrant. 447 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,467 Say I have found it in the house somewhere. 448 00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:09,467 The burglar's dropped it on the way out. 449 00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:10,733 What? 450 00:26:10,833 --> 00:26:12,833 Because we're not just burglars, we're shit burglars. 451 00:26:12,933 --> 00:26:15,600 Sound. 452 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:16,867 Where is it? 453 00:26:16,967 --> 00:26:18,267 Maybe you did drop it, you useless dick. 454 00:26:18,367 --> 00:26:19,933 Don't call me useless. 455 00:26:20,033 --> 00:26:21,233 Anyway, you call this secure? 456 00:26:21,333 --> 00:26:23,167 I'm not the cunt who works in security, am I? 457 00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:26,400 Just dump the lot somewhere no will ever find it. 458 00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:27,500 Dump it? 459 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,933 So I take all the risk hiding all the stuff 460 00:26:29,033 --> 00:26:30,167 and I'm supposed to walk away with nothing? 461 00:26:30,267 --> 00:26:31,800 What do you want? 462 00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:33,067 - Grand. - Fuck off. 463 00:26:33,167 --> 00:26:34,000 That's my wife's money. 464 00:26:34,100 --> 00:26:35,300 Which we stole. 465 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:36,233 50-50. 466 00:26:41,133 --> 00:26:43,533 It's not even 100 quid. 467 00:26:43,633 --> 00:26:47,333 Please, just get rid of it or we're dead. 468 00:26:47,433 --> 00:26:49,800 It has to be someone from around here, 469 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,100 or how'd they know to target our house. 470 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,733 JAMIE: We've tried all the usual suspects, nothing. 471 00:26:53,833 --> 00:26:56,800 Salmonella Sam was screwy some bird that's not his wife, 472 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,233 but he definitely didn't rob you. 473 00:26:58,333 --> 00:26:59,800 He don't know who did. 474 00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:01,433 Steal the biscuits as well, did they? 475 00:27:01,533 --> 00:27:04,000 JAMIE: It's probably just kids. - How do you reckon that? 476 00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:06,533 It's hardly some mastermind criminal, is it? 477 00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:08,933 What sort of fucking idiot steal a toaster? 478 00:27:09,033 --> 00:27:10,933 It's the place mats that get me? 479 00:27:11,033 --> 00:27:12,400 Well, he might have been a fucking idiot, 480 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,200 but looks like he's got away with it, 481 00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:17,267 and right under your noses. 482 00:27:17,367 --> 00:27:19,167 Well, I'm just saying. 483 00:27:19,267 --> 00:27:21,833 We've tried every pawn shop in Manchester. 484 00:27:21,933 --> 00:27:23,233 No one's tried to shift the gear. 485 00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:25,533 No one's used the money to pay off any debts, 486 00:27:25,633 --> 00:27:27,100 or buy anything flash. 487 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,100 Maybe we should just move on now, eh, babe. 488 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,400 Put it behind us. 489 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:33,167 Not till I feel safe again in my own home. 490 00:27:33,267 --> 00:27:34,833 Get Hard Lock around. 491 00:27:34,933 --> 00:27:36,367 I want the works. 492 00:27:36,467 --> 00:27:37,500 Hard Lock? 493 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:43,000 Security so tight, even a fart can't slip out. 494 00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:45,900 You've done your Best but, my social alienation 495 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,767 is bigger than both of us. 496 00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:50,700 We need to talk solutions. 497 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:51,967 Home school. 498 00:27:52,067 --> 00:27:53,833 No, Thalia. 499 00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:55,700 Just till I'm 18, then I'll move 500 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,300 to Israel where I'll be safe. 501 00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,000 Home-schooled kids are friendless freaks. 502 00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:01,767 I am a friendless freak. 503 00:28:01,867 --> 00:28:06,733 Why do you think they call me Saddo Saddo No friends Blanco. 504 00:28:09,633 --> 00:28:12,833 You are a great kid, and you will make friends. 505 00:28:12,933 --> 00:28:13,933 I promise. 506 00:28:14,033 --> 00:28:16,800 Even the bald kid has more status. 507 00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:20,633 You do impressions of people and make friends, but when I do it, 508 00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:22,100 they hate me. 509 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,367 But I don't do it to their faces, 510 00:28:24,467 --> 00:28:25,933 so I don't hurt their feelings. 511 00:28:26,033 --> 00:28:27,667 So that makes it all right? 512 00:28:27,767 --> 00:28:29,200 No, that's not what I meant. 513 00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:31,633 I'm honest and upfront, and you 514 00:28:31,733 --> 00:28:34,233 sneak around being cruel to people behind their backs. 515 00:28:39,633 --> 00:28:40,867 You know what? 516 00:28:40,967 --> 00:28:43,800 You're right. 517 00:28:43,900 --> 00:28:47,533 Maybe we both need to say sorry. 518 00:28:47,633 --> 00:28:48,333 Wat can I get you? 519 00:28:48,433 --> 00:28:50,267 I'm here to say I'm sorry. 520 00:28:50,367 --> 00:28:51,167 What for? 521 00:28:54,633 --> 00:28:57,400 I do this impression of you behind your back. 522 00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:00,000 I'm not proud of myself, and I want to apologize. 523 00:29:00,100 --> 00:29:01,467 Impression? 524 00:29:01,567 --> 00:29:05,700 The point is, I'm sorry, and it won't happen again. 525 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,633 Now, wait a minute. 526 00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:08,600 What? 527 00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:09,933 Well, show me. 528 00:29:10,033 --> 00:29:12,133 Show you? No. 529 00:29:12,233 --> 00:29:14,000 I'm not doing that. - Come on. 530 00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:17,067 I can take a joke, can't I? 531 00:29:17,167 --> 00:29:18,433 What can I get you? 532 00:29:18,533 --> 00:29:21,833 Fuck's sake, Karen, I can take a joke, can't I? 533 00:29:21,933 --> 00:29:23,433 And then you do your nostril thing. 534 00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:27,800 See, you're doing it right now. 535 00:29:31,533 --> 00:29:32,367 Yeah. 536 00:29:32,467 --> 00:29:34,700 Good one. 537 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,933 People want to forgive, Thalia. 538 00:29:37,033 --> 00:29:40,333 They just need to know you're sorry. 539 00:29:40,433 --> 00:29:42,967 I started in the biz doing impressions. 540 00:29:43,067 --> 00:29:45,167 Come on then. Let's see what you can do. 541 00:29:50,233 --> 00:29:52,800 The voice of an angel, me. 542 00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,500 Beyonce can rim me. 543 00:29:59,033 --> 00:30:02,633 As I said, I'm very sorry. 544 00:30:02,733 --> 00:30:04,800 They can't refuse a mosque because little fat skinheads 545 00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,600 march from one dole office to another, the bald little twats. 546 00:30:15,667 --> 00:30:17,100 That went well. 547 00:30:25,033 --> 00:30:26,933 Can I come in? 548 00:30:27,033 --> 00:30:28,000 No, pet. 549 00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:34,000 Oh, you shouldn't have, sweetheart. 550 00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:35,700 Thank you. 551 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,567 Now, can we be friends? 552 00:30:37,667 --> 00:30:41,033 You need friends your age, or you'll end up a weirdo, 553 00:30:41,133 --> 00:30:42,633 and believe me, I know. 554 00:30:49,100 --> 00:30:54,500 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 555 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,900 Ah. 556 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,000 Fuck. 557 00:30:59,833 --> 00:31:03,367 So how much does all this cost? 558 00:31:03,467 --> 00:31:06,567 Two cameras, hard locks for the front 559 00:31:06,667 --> 00:31:09,867 and back doors, and this. 560 00:31:09,967 --> 00:31:11,367 [barking] 561 00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:16,567 About 800 quid. 562 00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:18,700 Ain't that your car? 563 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:19,600 What? 564 00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:23,133 Fuck. 565 00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:38,600 Where you going, bro? 566 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,300 You should have kept up with the payments. 567 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,933 That your car? 568 00:31:47,033 --> 00:31:49,333 Yeah, it's just going in for a check up. 569 00:31:49,433 --> 00:31:51,533 Oh, surprise. 570 00:31:51,633 --> 00:31:52,833 Welcome to your newly secured home. 571 00:31:52,933 --> 00:31:55,200 Got the hard Lock crew in today. 572 00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:56,100 Oh. 573 00:32:06,267 --> 00:32:08,933 If it weren't for Billy, I'd go mad. 574 00:32:09,033 --> 00:32:09,900 No. 575 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,233 I haven't done much, really. 576 00:32:11,333 --> 00:32:13,233 You've been a bloody rock. 577 00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:16,933 Staying calm, fixing up the house safe. 578 00:32:17,033 --> 00:32:19,500 I'd have pummeled the first scully I thought looked at me 579 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:20,800 funny. 580 00:32:20,900 --> 00:32:22,300 Could be somebody we know. 581 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,733 Maybe even someone here. 582 00:32:31,733 --> 00:32:32,733 What can I get you, darling? 583 00:32:32,833 --> 00:32:36,567 Vodka and coke, please? 584 00:32:36,667 --> 00:32:38,000 Where'd you get that? 585 00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:38,900 What? 586 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,600 That's my mom's locket. 587 00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:42,600 What are you on about? 588 00:32:42,700 --> 00:32:44,000 Get off me. 589 00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:45,267 Where'd you get it! 590 00:32:45,367 --> 00:32:48,667 No lies or I'll have your twat on a barbecue. 591 00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:50,233 Where'd you get it? 592 00:33:26,633 --> 00:33:28,033 What you know about this? 593 00:33:28,133 --> 00:33:28,967 My locket. 594 00:33:29,067 --> 00:33:30,833 No, my locket. 595 00:33:30,933 --> 00:33:32,067 Is she giving them to everyone? 596 00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:34,500 I thought I was special. 597 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:35,967 That's my TV. 598 00:33:36,067 --> 00:33:38,033 Who gave it to you? 599 00:33:38,133 --> 00:33:39,500 You can't be angry with her, she only-- 600 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,167 - Who? - Stella. 601 00:33:42,267 --> 00:33:45,800 A 6-year-old didn't smash my front door open. 602 00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:47,533 Or carry that. 603 00:33:47,633 --> 00:33:49,267 Where do you think you're going? 604 00:33:49,367 --> 00:33:50,700 I didn't do anything. 605 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,533 Then why the fuck are you scarpering then, eh? 606 00:33:53,633 --> 00:33:54,900 You stole from me? 607 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,900 From your friends. 608 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,267 Billy. 609 00:33:58,367 --> 00:34:01,967 That's the lowest, most despicable, Break his arm. 610 00:34:02,067 --> 00:34:04,633 Billy made me. 611 00:34:04,733 --> 00:34:08,000 Why would my own husband steal from me? 612 00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:09,233 Tell him, Billy. 613 00:34:09,333 --> 00:34:11,900 He's insulted you, he's insulted me. 614 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:12,800 Tell him. 615 00:34:22,467 --> 00:34:23,800 You wouldn't. 616 00:34:23,900 --> 00:34:25,167 I know you wouldn't. 617 00:34:35,667 --> 00:34:37,567 Babe. 618 00:34:37,667 --> 00:34:38,967 Babe? 619 00:34:39,067 --> 00:34:40,133 Just stop. 620 00:34:54,067 --> 00:34:56,400 Why? 621 00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:59,467 Because when you think of the great men in history, 622 00:34:59,567 --> 00:35:04,167 like Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill, Roy Keane. 623 00:35:04,267 --> 00:35:05,900 What the fuck you on about? 624 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,533 They stood for something. 625 00:35:07,633 --> 00:35:09,667 They did things. 626 00:35:09,767 --> 00:35:11,733 That's why I became a salesman. 627 00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:13,667 Well, a cook. 628 00:35:13,767 --> 00:35:16,867 Is anything you told me true? 629 00:35:16,967 --> 00:35:19,200 I love you. 630 00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:21,867 I believed in you, Billy, you fucking idiot. 631 00:35:21,967 --> 00:35:22,767 I know, babe. 632 00:35:22,867 --> 00:35:23,767 I'm sorry. 633 00:35:23,867 --> 00:35:24,967 Even now I knew I shouldn't. 634 00:35:25,067 --> 00:35:26,567 You, a salesmen? 635 00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:27,633 You? 636 00:35:27,733 --> 00:35:29,700 i Just wanted to show you, the way you 637 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,000 looked at me when you thought-- 638 00:35:33,100 --> 00:35:34,567 it felt good. 639 00:35:34,667 --> 00:35:35,700 Like I might be a man. 640 00:35:38,433 --> 00:35:40,033 Anytime you want to be a man, Billy, 641 00:35:40,133 --> 00:35:42,400 you know what you have to do? 642 00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:44,333 Don't play at it. 643 00:35:44,433 --> 00:35:45,300 Just be one. 644 00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:02,733 If it isn't the littlest Supreme. 645 00:36:02,833 --> 00:36:05,500 This an encore performance? 646 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,067 What do you know about living with bipolar? 647 00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:12,600 Then I guess, Dad went inside, she just lost the plot, 648 00:36:12,700 --> 00:36:14,467 you know? 649 00:36:14,567 --> 00:36:16,733 And then that's when she went off her meds 650 00:36:16,833 --> 00:36:20,767 and the drinking really started. 651 00:36:20,867 --> 00:36:22,600 I think when she started sleeping 652 00:36:22,700 --> 00:36:24,567 with Frank for comfort. 653 00:36:24,667 --> 00:36:28,667 Oh, Allah, be merciful. 654 00:36:28,767 --> 00:36:29,600 Yeah. 655 00:36:29,700 --> 00:36:30,500 Rock bottom. 656 00:36:33,133 --> 00:36:34,733 She never, ever had done it if she 657 00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:38,700 hadn't been completely off her tree, so can you forgive her? 658 00:37:02,567 --> 00:37:04,733 So got my things back? 659 00:37:04,833 --> 00:37:06,033 Most of them. 660 00:37:06,133 --> 00:37:08,567 Can't even fucking do that right. 661 00:37:08,667 --> 00:37:10,133 Didn't have to bother with the juicer. 662 00:37:10,233 --> 00:37:12,000 It never worked. 663 00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:12,900 It does now. 664 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,400 I fixed it. 665 00:37:19,033 --> 00:37:22,200 I'm going to pay the rest pay in installments. 666 00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,867 I think we should live apart for a while. 667 00:37:25,967 --> 00:37:27,800 I need space. 668 00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:45,000 This is the life, isn't it? 669 00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:46,833 Night in with the lads? 670 00:37:46,933 --> 00:37:48,733 A few beers, a few laughs. 671 00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:49,667 [fart] 672 00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,633 I bet she expects me to come crawling back. 673 00:37:55,733 --> 00:37:57,167 Slithering on my belly. 674 00:37:57,267 --> 00:37:58,933 Begging for forgiveness. 675 00:37:59,033 --> 00:37:59,900 Never apologize. 676 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:00,800 Never explain. 677 00:38:00,900 --> 00:38:02,067 Words to live by. 678 00:38:02,167 --> 00:38:04,600 I tried to explain, but she wouldn't listen. 679 00:38:04,700 --> 00:38:06,100 So try again. 680 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,433 Women love persistence. 681 00:38:07,533 --> 00:38:09,667 Calling your right hand Sue doesn't make you 682 00:38:09,767 --> 00:38:12,167 an expert on feminine nature. 683 00:38:12,267 --> 00:38:14,467 I'm a master of my own destiny at last. 684 00:38:14,567 --> 00:38:15,800 Answering to no one. 685 00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:17,000 This is my opportunity to grow. 686 00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:18,833 [knocking] - Wonderful. 687 00:38:18,933 --> 00:38:20,567 Now, fuck off, and grow somewhere quietly. 688 00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:21,500 I've got company. 689 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:28,133 Ah, we meet again, my Pussy Galores. 690 00:38:28,233 --> 00:38:30,767 Ready to shake and stir your cocktini. 691 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,867 It's none of my business, but are you OK? 692 00:38:48,967 --> 00:38:49,767 None of your business. 693 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,667 You don't ever hear a woman say that, do ya? 694 00:38:57,767 --> 00:39:00,767 I fucked up, but it's all your fault because I 695 00:39:00,867 --> 00:39:01,967 didn't feel woman enough. 696 00:39:02,067 --> 00:39:02,900 Bollocks. 697 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,033 What use is sorry anyway? 698 00:39:05,133 --> 00:39:06,500 Nothing ever gets wiped clean. 699 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,600 Then, they disappear before you can leave them first. 700 00:39:08,700 --> 00:39:12,500 Am I meant to apologize for being a strong woman? 701 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,600 Well, he can shove his sorries up his good for nothing ass. 702 00:39:16,700 --> 00:39:18,667 Fuck him. - Fuck him. 703 00:39:23,733 --> 00:39:27,200 [laughing] 704 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,167 On the house. 705 00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:15,933 Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. 706 00:40:16,033 --> 00:40:17,300 It's not? 707 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,533 Thalia, don't be angry with her. 708 00:40:19,633 --> 00:40:22,567 The way she's holding up, she's a little trooper. 709 00:40:22,667 --> 00:40:24,667 Now, she's told us what you've been through. 710 00:40:24,767 --> 00:40:26,767 We are all 100% behind you. 711 00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:34,333 I'll get a drink. 712 00:40:41,467 --> 00:40:43,833 If you've got a psychiatric disorder, 713 00:40:43,933 --> 00:40:47,167 people are falling over themselves being understanding. 714 00:40:47,267 --> 00:40:50,200 But did you have to say I was bipolar? 715 00:40:50,300 --> 00:40:52,900 You can't always lie your way out of trouble, you know? 716 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,033 I know, but I felt so sorry for you. 717 00:40:56,133 --> 00:40:58,100 And you should have seen their faces when 718 00:40:58,200 --> 00:40:59,600 I said you were shagging Frank. 719 00:41:03,867 --> 00:41:06,833 Billy said I should return. 720 00:41:06,933 --> 00:41:09,000 Actually, it was more my idea, but-- 721 00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:24,833 Celery and kiwi. 722 00:41:24,933 --> 00:41:26,000 I've got into juicing. 723 00:41:29,367 --> 00:41:31,367 I'm sorry about, you know. 724 00:41:31,467 --> 00:41:34,100 The piss in the hallway was only meant for it to be realistic. 725 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,833 There was no bad feelings behind it. 726 00:41:37,933 --> 00:41:39,700 Look, I'm completely on your side. 727 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,533 I mean, you're better off without that dumb prick. 728 00:41:41,633 --> 00:41:43,100 I told Billy from the beginning, Mimi is not 729 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,367 going to be impressed by sales. 730 00:41:46,467 --> 00:41:48,200 So the only reason he went for that job 731 00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:49,767 was to try and impress me? 732 00:41:49,867 --> 00:41:51,233 And then the thick twat got himself 733 00:41:51,333 --> 00:41:52,667 in deeper by renting a car. 734 00:41:52,767 --> 00:41:56,533 Of course, he couldn't afford it on his cook salary. 735 00:41:56,633 --> 00:41:59,733 He really is a cook? 736 00:41:59,833 --> 00:42:02,433 So the only solution he's got is to rob from his own house. 737 00:42:09,733 --> 00:42:12,867 Table number six says compliments to the chef. 738 00:42:12,967 --> 00:42:14,167 It was only beans on toast. 739 00:42:14,267 --> 00:42:16,833 Well, how did you do the beans? 740 00:42:16,933 --> 00:42:18,567 In the microwave. 741 00:42:18,667 --> 00:42:21,833 It must have been the way you spooned them. 742 00:42:21,933 --> 00:42:22,800 Yes, love? 743 00:42:22,900 --> 00:42:23,733 Coffee? 744 00:42:39,033 --> 00:42:40,633 You look cute as a chef. 745 00:42:40,733 --> 00:42:43,700 I like it better than the suit. 746 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,667 If you'll let me explain, I know I'm just a cook, 747 00:42:46,767 --> 00:42:48,333 but I'm good at it. 748 00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:51,467 And it means a lot to me to be good at something. 749 00:42:51,567 --> 00:42:52,400 And if you just listen-- 750 00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:56,000 Billy, shut up. 751 00:42:56,100 --> 00:42:59,600 Do you know why I need you? 752 00:42:59,700 --> 00:43:01,700 Because you're only thing in my life that makes 753 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,667 me feel like a woman. 754 00:43:03,767 --> 00:43:09,633 Not a mum or an old carcass to be tossed on the scrapheap. 755 00:43:09,733 --> 00:43:11,300 You make me feel beautiful. 756 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:18,167 You don't ever have to lie to me, because when I look at you, 757 00:43:18,267 --> 00:43:20,333 I don't see nothing, I see the person who 758 00:43:20,433 --> 00:43:24,467 saved me and keeps saving me. 759 00:43:24,567 --> 00:43:28,267 That doesn't mean that what you did wasn't stupid. 760 00:43:28,367 --> 00:43:31,567 But you don't see many men putting in that kind of effort 761 00:43:31,667 --> 00:43:33,200 to impress a woman, do you? 762 00:43:43,733 --> 00:43:47,200 Do you know what this is? 763 00:43:47,300 --> 00:43:48,400 What? 764 00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:51,067 This is what it feels like when you've made it. 765 00:44:00,333 --> 00:44:02,800 Lucia, this is my wife. 766 00:44:02,900 --> 00:44:04,200 Hi. 767 00:44:04,300 --> 00:44:05,933 Nice to meet you. 768 00:44:06,033 --> 00:44:07,267 I've heard a lot about you. 769 00:44:07,367 --> 00:44:08,933 The guys, Jeff, Tom. 770 00:44:09,033 --> 00:44:10,633 BILLY (VOICEOVER): Growing up, I guess 771 00:44:10,733 --> 00:44:12,500 it's about making your own way. 772 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,567 Knowing what you've got, and what you need. 773 00:44:18,267 --> 00:44:22,967 Saying you're wrong when you'd rather say nothing at all. 774 00:44:23,067 --> 00:44:25,200 Or maybe the secret to growing up 775 00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:29,133 is knowing when it's OK to let someone else look after you. 776 00:44:29,233 --> 00:44:31,900 Those two versions of yourself, who you are, 777 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,200 and who you'd like to be, I guess 778 00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:36,333 you're successful when they come a little closer together. 779 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,700 When you can look at yourself and say, I know who I am, 780 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:43,633 and it's OK. 781 00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:48,200 I'm OK. 782 00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:56,600 [theme music] 783 00:45:35,067 --> 00:45:38,400 Billy's really matured now, you know?