Look at me, right, and look at the Queen.
I was never a fan until it occurred to me how
much me and mom have in common.
Bringing up kiddies you can't remember the names of.
I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well have be.
Plus, the pair of us, we've stuck to our guns, so her,
literally sometimes, and flaggshipped a dying breed.
Admired and despised equally, not
for never lifting a finger, no, for setting
examples through extremity.
And whether you're a bigwig on her end of a big wig on mine,
you've still got all your dickheads
in the middle to deal with snip, snip,
snipping at your benefits.
I mean, she can't not be looked at me and thinking,
what's your secret, Frank?
I got shot of my kids yonks back, whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
Fine.
I've had to get out of bed on occasion
to make ends meet, whereas she's done
the whole thing from a chair.
And a drink for the lady.
Oh, sure, there's perks.
But look at her lot, Brian May prancing about on her roof.
Now, look at my lot.
We know how to throw a proper fucking party.
LIP: It's not that hard being a parent in the modern world.
It's not like the caveman times.
Back then you'd be protecting your kids
from rampaging tribesmen and saber toothed tigers.
Or the medieval ages where if infant mortality didn't snatch
the little buggers off, then the Black Death
were hammering on the door.
Nah.
Now it's easier.
Sure you have to make a few sacrifices,
but it's nothing like the past.
As long as you have a bit of spare cash
to buy them clothes and shit, make sure there's food
on the table, and be there for them when they need it,
you're sorted.
Basically, don't be a knobhead, and you'll be fine.
It's not some big mystery, is it?
So how come so many of the twats fuck it up?
Eh?
Oy.
Hands off.
Just looking.
Just touching.
You running away from home?
Overnight excursions with the scouts.
Pitch a tent, build a fire underneath
that old wandering star. - Can I come?
You're not a scout?
I could be one.
Never been in a tent or built a fire or seen a wandering star.
I got Billy doing the school pics for me.
There's a class set, individual pics, and a family group.
Doesn't matter how bleeding ugly the kids are,
the parents will buy the lot.
Pint, please.
Hey, Gallagher, you'll need a sick note
for skipping work today.
I was mugged.
Who'd mug you?
Well, they took the lot.
I didn't even have the bus fare to get back home.
Don't care.
2 pound 50.
Muggers took you for a trip out, did they?
From the hospital.
Hang on, you left her last night with fuck all.
You still owe me for six pints and two Es,
so clear your tab, or no more.
Fine.
Mimi, payday's not till, you know?
End of the month.
Oh, fine.
Abandoned.
An outcast.
God, who's going to look after you when you're old age?
I've still got me dignity.
Oh, whoa, pal. That's mine now.
Get off, you baghead.
Get off.
Dignity, my ass.
LIP: Give us your bag.
Good day at the office?
KATIE: Yeah.
Why not?
It's just Scouts.
Shut up.
It's sinister.
Making you dress all the same, act the same way.
Little robots with woggles.
You'll thank me one day.
I just want you kids to be, you know--
Individual.
Follow our own path.
Dance to the beat of your own drum.
OK.
But I'm still right.
But I know the path I want to follow.
I want to be a Scout.
But please, Dad.
Lip.
Frank?
Not your neck of woods.
You know, call it fate.
Kismet.
So you're looking good, suit, tie.
It's called having a job, Frank.
Architect for the council.
And we're in a bit of a hurry.
Those buildings won't build themselves.
I've seen you before.
On the bus.
I thought you were a boy.
Thank you.
Hey.
What have we said about talking to strangers?
And there's no one more stranger
than your old Granddad, eh, Katie?
No way.
It's a miracle?
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
It is.
We thought the Taliban would never let you go.
Yes, Granddad, we didn't know if you was dead or alive.
Granddad, watch.
Oh, yeah, brilliant kid, brilliant.
How much for you to piss off and leave us alone?
That's no way to speak to a war hero.
Go on.
Take it.
Piss off back down the Jockey, go and have yourself some fun.
Don't bother coming back round these ways ever again.
Oh you do live around there then?
Just visiting.
Work.
I'm not after your money.
What?
Is it so far fetched that I might
miss my grandson-- daughter.
About as far fetched as Liverpool or Santa Clause
winning the bloody Premier League.
Oh, as far fetched as me being captured by the Taliban then?
Of course, the SAS are dying to recruit blokes like me,
you know.
Catering staff.
You were army catering staff.
You got kidnapped by mistake.
The Taliban were so fucking embarrassed,
they didn't know what to do with you.
You see, Frank, even in the silliest
little lie I told my daughter, you're still a loser.
Fair enough.
Katie, your dad wants to know if you want to come
back to mine for dinner?
Fish and chips.
Brilliant kid, brilliant.
Did you hear that?
Out of the mouths of babes.
Yo might want to stop off at the cash machine,
you know, price of a fish supper nowadays, and all that.
Well, don't just stand there.
The place won't clean itself.
God, I've got to do everything myself.
I didn't know the Social were coming.
They're not.
It's Lip.
Lip, like my brother Lip?
Yes, he who never visits.
Him and his kid, Katie, they'll be here in a minute.
- What's up? - And if asked, I've been away.
Locked up by the Taliban.
- Frank, what have you done now? - It's not me.
It's Lip.
It's his story.
He's had me terry-waited up in some far flung land.
Why would he say that?
I don't know.
Takes all sorts, I suppose.
Right.
Go to mine.
Get coffee.
Not a jar.
The good Yemeni stuff.
It's the only thing strong enough to cover up this stench.
Is he nice?
He's got a heart of gold.
I'm sure if you remind him of all the birthdays
and Christmas's that he's missed,
you know, he might give us-- give you a little something
for your piggy bank.
Hey, Jamie, I'm in training.
Oh, yeah, what for?
Camping.
I've got into Scouts.
I have to carry my own tent.
What's your first mission then?
Climbing Everest or surviving the Sahara?
Remona's taking us to a field.
How exciting.
You know, this bag is dead heavy?
I believe you mate.
Uncle Jamie, were you ever in the Scouts?
Me and our Shane chucked fireworks at the Scout hall
once.
About as close as I got.
I don't think they could handle your Uncle Jamie.
What do you mean?
I'm more of a leader, than a follower.
[arguing]
What was it like here when you were little?
It was nice.
DRIVER: Fucking brats.
It's not very nice now.
Places change, sweetheart.
So why does Grandad stay here?
Well, the country doesn't look after war veterans
as well as it should do.
That's a shame for Granddad.
Yeah.
A real shame.
Dad?
[knocking]
Hey.
Welcome home.
Hi, I'm Esther.
Oh, are you, uh?
God, no.
Next door.
Just the neighbor, and besides, I'm totally out of his league.
And this is thingy, a stray we acquired along the way.
How you doing?
Pleased to meet you, sir.
Allow me.
And Stella, your sister.
Hello.
It's really nice to meet you.
Sorry it's taken so long.
Dad said you'd give me a little money.
Where do they get this stuff, eh?
Well, it must run in the family.
So how does it feel to be home?
MIMI: I've asked you 10 times before, Gallagher, and--
Nana?
Katie, wait.
MIMI: And none of your half-assed forgeries.
What are you doing here, sweetheart?
I'm not due to see you till next week.
What's going on, Lip.
Oh, Just back for the job, is it?
Dad, please, for Katie.
Happy families.
With her, Granny Shankly?
She's better than me?
Don't.
You never told me you lived near Granddad
No, I didn't, because--
Of the Taliban?
Yeah, those fellows.
Well, you know, maybe it's time we told the truth?
Gallagher's name stands for something, doesn't it?
Integrity.
Honesty.
Look, love, look, I was never captured by the Taliban.
But Dad--
No, no, it's not your Dad's fault.
He could tell anyone the story.
I was on a mission to find a man, a very bad man.
Do you know who Ossama bin Laden is?
Granddad?
bin Laden?
Seriously?
Well you started it with your tall tales of the Taliban.
How long do you think she's going
to buy into that hero bullshit?
I don't know.
You used to believe in the tooth fairy till you were 11.
Oh, fuck off.
And you wet the bed.
Or should I just tell her the real truth?
Her dad's a big fat liar.
One more word.
One more word from either of you,
and I'll be cracking skulls.
You're not ruining this for me.
It's good you're here though. - Yeah.
Fantastic.
Because it's nearly dawn.
I'll nip next door and get it while she's still playing.
Cilla, come on, babe.
And what treat is Super Gran looking to spring?
She's altering Mandy's old communion
dress for Katie's confirmation.
It means a lot to her.
How does she get her trotters to hold the little needles?
If that's the way she chooses to grieve,
who am I to stop her?
Well, my invitation must have got lost,
so let me RSVP in person.
if you're offering?
KATIE: But you can't be my auntie.
STELLA: But I am.
KATIE: But you're younger than me.
Cilla's your auntie as well, you know.
Do you live nearby?
Took us four buses to get here.
I know the transport system's fucked,
but do you're only 10 minutes away.
I took her the long way around,
so she knows exactly how far away Granddaddy lives.
So enjoy it while it lasts, because we're
a long way from home.
Hey.
What's going on?
I don't know what this whole badass routine is about,
Blanco, but it doesn't suit you.
Maybe I don't want to be like everyone else?
Go and get the rest of your uniform.
Did they torture you?
Oh, they did unspeakable things.
Like what?
Oh, you're a right little tomboy, aren't you?
No, she's not.
It's a phase.
Maybe if her gran was allowed to spend more time with her,
she wouldn't feel the need to act up so much?
She's not acting up.
Really?
When did she last wear a dress, makeup?
Oh, not this again.
Oh, for God sake, Lip, she hasn't even
got her ears pierced.
She's nine, you know.
I feel we best be getting back.
Sit down.
There's no rush.
I'll put the kettle on.
Little Katie, tell your dad how you'd
like to spend a little bit more time with the Gran.
- Uh-huh. - And your Granddad.
Please, Dad, can't we?
Please?
Of course, you can.
You can visit anytime you want now that your Granddad's home.
Granny Maguire seems pretty determined to keep you here.
She's got an agenda, that one.
And you don't?
Hey, I'm on your side.
You have never been on my side.
You know what, just go and take a walk and cool down.
You'll blow a fucking gasket, and you don't want to do
that in front of your kids.
It messes them up.
You're giving me parenting advice?
Katie, darling, your Dad's going to have to stretch his legs,
love.
You'll be all right here with Stella.
Pick us up 40 fags while you're out.
No broken home to go back to?
Fuck off, paedo.
The bad news, my little bandita, permission
to take off's been denied.
No, I've got the money.
It's just my time that's being pillaged.
My son's coming round.
He just invited himself without any thought
how it might disrupt my day.
You know how selfish kids can be.
Yeah, I'll call to reschedule.
Will you two stop that?
Or I'll kick your fucking heads in.
I mean it, Gallagher, don't you mess this up for me.
You're the ones who built your little Sylvania Family on sand.
Whose fault is that?
I only got to see her every few weeks
because Lip can't stand you.
You have poisoned that boy's mind against me.
We used to be like that.
Really?
Yeah.
So you've been sending him cash,
have you, to help him take care of his little one, each week,
into a special account?
Thought not.
He should be taking care of me in my advancing years.
He's got enough problems bringing
Katie up, you selfish fuck.
Come Slater, we're waiting on that water.
Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop.
Put some elbow grease in Thomio.
This is no holiday camp.
This is the Scouts.
Come on, guys, seriously.
It'll be cool.
Is it ready?
We can't eat till the billy cans are ready.
Out of the way.
All right, don't panic.
You, Blanco, you.
Oh, shit.
Fuck me.
Is that still your best chat up line?
Fails every time.
What you doing here?
Right now, avoiding my piss-soaked dad.
The rest is a long story.
- Coming in? - Nah.
You're all right.
Where you going then?
Generally?
Well, come on.
I'll buy you a pint if you promise not to share and care.
Come on.
Warm beer, shit company, bad entertainment.
Don't pretend you haven't missed it, mate.
As long as you're paying.
I know I'm good-looking, but you shouldn't be
staring at your punters.
Lip Gallagher all grown up.
When did you start shopping at Next?
You know me, always was a bit of class.
And always full of it.
So you're doing OK, I can see.
With the spirit of Chatsworth, it
will take more than a global recession to stop
this lot having a good time.
Pint?
Yeah.
Her husband?
Mimi never said a word.
She's probably worries you'd judge her.
Some people do, you know, because of the age gap.
Not for me to say.
Don't you think it's a bit oedipal?
Oedipal?
Come to me.
Easy, Lillian, people will be talking.
Well, you did always have a way with the ladies.
Never lose it.
There you go.
Isn't she a pretty little girl?
She's fine as she was.
Do you think so?
Your Granddad's busy watching his show right now, isn't he?
Stop twitching, love.
So you reckon this will be a regular thing?
Like fuck.
I left for a reason.
Frank's not changed a bit.
He's cleaned me out twice of nearly all of my wages,
and Mimi just trying to stick her nails right in me.
A simple now was all I wanted.
This is not a good Scout.
Hey.
Hands off him.
He ruined the camp.
I'm sure you're exaggerating.
Look at him.
Absolutely no respect for the badge.
What?
It's only fucking Scouts.
Sit down, have a drink.
- What did you say to him? - Nothing.
You ruined the camp.
What are you having?
Gin and tonic.
- Same. - Same.
Shut up, you.
Not as easy as we thought, eh?
Being a parent.
It's not easy having one either.
You still turned out OK.
Yeah, not because of him.
Despite.
But he has got a job.
So why is he tapping me up?
He needs it more than you.
He's a janitor, for God sake, and you're
a big shot architect.
Surveyor's assistant.
I barely scraped my degree, Karen.
I rent.
I shit myself every time a bill comes for the door,
and my daughter dresses like a boy.
I'm still fucking there, and I'm doing my best.
Whatever that is.
And so is Frank.
I mean, he didn't have to take Aidan on, but he did.
When did you start seeing a halo around his head?
Still sulking like you used to and all.
We know Frank is a selfish bastard.
but I don't think you should let him get to you.
Look, you are not that kid anymore.
You're a man.
If you fancy me, just say so.
And still a twat, Phillip Gallagher.
It's a cig machine.
I'm getting off.
Oh, come on, mate, stay for a few more.
Yeah, pool tournament starts in an hour.
No.
I've got to get back home.
I mean to Dad's.
That's two steps away from paint stripper,
but you know what they say, beware Greeks bearing gifts.
I'm just going to dash next door and put this away.
You'll be all right with your Granddad?
Watch her. - Why?
Is she going to explode?
I like your hair.
Really?
What matters is if you like it, you know?
Don't live your life trying to please others.
You'll only end up messing it up for yourself.
But won't that upset people?
And?
We Gallaghers, we do it our way.
I'm glad you killed bin Laden.
Oh, yeah, me too.
He was an awful--
Sh.
Look at her.
See, four of them running around trying to give her
the wedding of her dreams, dress, car, pink meringues,
you name it.
They're all waiting around like twats to see if she likes it.
And does she? Does see fuck.
She hates it.
She hates everything about it.
And you know what she does?
She tells them.
And fair play to her.
It's the same with you in this dress.
It's up to you.
You choose.
Hi, Dad.
You OK, sweetheart?
Oh.
That for me?
No, it's for me.
If you've got a clean glass though.
Oh, beware Greeks bearing gifts.
Not you as well.
I was thinking about staying for the weekend.
Well, as long as you're happy to pay board.
I have brought shame both for myself and my--
Won't they be missing you in middle class suburbia?
It's not as glamorous as you've imagined.
Lord Melrose, who quit his position on Monday, when he had
revealed he had used rent boys.
[inaudible]
He's a fucking joke.
Jesus.
Skeletons in the closet.
At least he's out of the closet.
You moved.
Let's have a look.
I hope you made me look handsome.
Yeah.
That's really good.
That's my family box.
You look different now.
Shut up, Stella.
[muffled memories]
Stella.
Coat on, Stella.
Come here while I get this slide in your hair.
You look like no one owns you.
We thought we'd take the kids to the park.
Give you a break.
At least let me do breakfast.
Quite domesticated these days.
[no audio]
He goes next door for breakfast.
He said he didn't want to come with us.
Don't worry, we'll feed them.
Well, I'll stock up while you're out.
What's your favorite food?
- Chocolate milk. - Yeah.
Chocolate milk.
Come on, kids.
Last one to the swings.
Don't you be sitting around here all day worrying neither.
Do you think it's weird?
What?
Boy George over there.
Well, no other fucker seems to want to face up to it.
It's probably just a phase.
I work with kids.
I know what I'm talking about.
Just her and him the whole time.
There's no mother figure.
She's unbalanced.
If we keep it nice with Lip and Frank,
I could get more time with her, be that maternal influence.
Maybe she's just different.
A rug muncher?
Do you mean do I think she's a lesbian?
I don't know.
I couldn't care less if she grows up to be an Olympic class
muff diver, just so long as she isn't
doing the full KD Lang thing at her first holy communion.
I think he's struggling.
Always manage to get your feet under the table somewhere.
And I don't have to dress up either.
Any idea what you look like?
Yeah.
An adult.
Oh, he fills his daughter's head with lies,
but the twat's wearing a tie so he's a fucking adult now.
What's Stella's favorite food, Frank?
Chocolate milk.
So you know.
Just trying to help you.
Like I was on a period out my ass.
Blood was gushing--
Oh, there he is.
Got your Chatsworth on?
Hey.
Well, I wasn't going to say anything before,
but you did look like a right twat in that suit.
Don't hold back.
I wasn't. Come on.
Let's go fuck shit up.
Oh my God.
Oh.
He's in.
Go on, son.
Is it not like this round your way then?
- How do you mean? - Like it's posh, isn't it?
Like big swanky apartments?
Na.
It's not that swanky an apartment.
Come to check out my ass, paedo?
Oh, fuck off. Who'd paedo you?
Give us that.
Come on.
He's definitely got something.
Specialized market for google eyes and acne.
Come on, darling, make love to the camera.
Work it, baby.
Oy.
Hey, Dad, come check out these paedos.
Fucking perverts.
Even if I was a pervert, I wouldn't touch him.
That's Man it.
Having expended all his energy swimming upstream for no reason
at all, the Chatsworth male eventually stops fighting
and goes with the flow.
Back to the spawning ground to occupy
his correct place in society.
Order is restored.
Drink.
I need the toilet.
Go on then, upstairs to the toilet.
Nice look.
Temporary.
How was that then, sweetheart?
Great.
We were thinking it might be nice to spend a bit of time
together as a family.
Jockey later?
Yeah.
OK.
Granddad Granddad, will you come with us?
Well, I'm not feeling too good.
I might have to take a rain check.
Old war wounds.
Better give your Granddad some peace and quiet.
Yeah, let's get a cup of tea.
He's all talked out.
Ground control to major Tom, we have lift off.
Ah, you.
Listen, mate, I'm sorry about earlier.
I was just having a laugh.
I was being a dick.
Please accept my apology.
Yeah.
Sure.
Just go around picking up fucking kiddies, do you?
Katie, run now.
Take cover.
[giggling]
Bandits at 6 o'clock.
[laughing]
For fuck's sake.
Hold up.
What?
Ow.
I think I've got a splinter.
She was terrified.
I should have never brought her here.
Ah.
Are we really that bad?
I'm messing up.
You're not.
She's a great kid.
She came in, met our lot, and coped like you did.
This is coping?
What if I'm getting it all wrong?
What about the way she dresses?
Is she happy?
How do I know if she's happy?
Are you happy?
Oh, Lip.
Sorry.
Sorry, Frank.
I can't seem to stop crying.
It's Biddy, won't come near me.
Hasn't humped or thumped me for days.
Ow.
Got it.
Big bastard that.
Have I lost it, Frank?
Never, my little bandit.
What's the matter with you now?
Sympathy pains.
Katie's fine.
Mam and Shane are regaling her with stories
of something funny.
Thanks.
Right.
Better be getting Katie back home.
Lip, she's got a family here.
You both have.
You were putting all this pressure on yourself.
That daft lie with Frank.
He's a shit.
So what?
You do not let him cost you all of us.
Thanks.
Coggsy?
He won't come back, will he?
No, sweetheart.
Uncle Jamie chased him away.
I like Jamie and Karen, and Billy.
I like them all.
They like you too.
You're orders, if you choose to accept--
Frank.
No talking in line, soldier.
Frank.
What the fuck's going on?
Oh, come on.
No, Frank.
I'll get rid of him.
No, we've got morals.
He doesn't he live here.
Thank you very fucking much.
Oh, you're angry at us?
Hey, a working man gets one day a week to spend his hard
earned money as he sees fit, and the disappointing fruits
of his loins comes along and fucks it up.
I need to speak to Katie alone.
Well, I'm out of pocket now, so bump us a 10,
and I'll be out of your hair.
I haven't gotten it.
You've had the last of my wages.
Granddad, why have you got your uniform on?
Do you have to go back?
No, love, and let's get one thing straight.
I am not and never have been part
of Her Majesty's armed forces.
Your Dad lied to you.
Every night you were praying, hoping I'd come back,
I was always here.
Only one bus ride away.
Take my advice, don't believe a word he tells you ever again.
He's full of it.
Is that it then?
You just drop a bomb and walk off.
Oh combat references, how appropriate.
You're a cunt.
Hey, you're all still alive.
Her up the road gots three dead.
Go and call her a cunt.
I thought the job was over once you pulled your dick out?
You're repulsive.
You're fucking disgusting.
You gave me nothing.
What the fuck do you want?
Every since you arrived, you've been sorry for yourself.
Desperation oozing out of every insignificant,
under-achieving little pore.
I did give you something.
I gave you fucking freedom, and you can't even
use it, because everything you do,
every decision you make is about me, isn't it?
You carry me up here.
Yeah, keep fucking walking.
I'm with you every single step.
Oy, Zippy and Bungle, nearly did myself an injury there.
Where's your dad? - Don't know.
Not here.
Lucky bastard.
I'm off to have my breakfast.
Oh, there you are.
Your breakfast's ready.
KATE: I'm fucking coming!
Can I help you, sir?
Have you not got a home to go to?
Ha ha, very funny.
Do us a pint.
Trying it out for size?
I can do without a lesson in morals from you.
It's been a hard night, OK?
If it looks like a tramp, and smells like a tramp.
I don't want to talk about it.
Well, then why are you hammering my door
down at the crack of the ass?
You might not want to talk, but you're going to fucking listen.
Graduate of Mimi Maguire's School of Counseling.
Look at the state of you, Lip.
You've been back 48 hours, and you're a fucking mess.
I am embracing my fine heritage.
You was the one who told me to go out and have a bit of fun.
And it looks like you're laughing it right up.
Oh, and while you were out last night
embracing your fine heritage, have you any idea
where your daughter is?
Where's your Dad?
He's not here, lucky bastard.
He didn't come home.
OK, sweetheart, you're coming back with me.
Shouldn't I stay here with her?
Come on.
Orphan Annie, dear, ain't my problem.
No granddaughter of mine's living in a shit tip like this
any longer.
See ya.
if there's a lesson I can give you,
it's that men are thick as fuck.
That's how I know it must be hard only
having your dad to talk to.
I can see why you've made the choices you've made.
It's just that carrying on like this isn't helping anyone.
It's not your fault, love.
having the dad you've got.
I picked this up for you.
Pretty, isn't it?
None of us wants to be a boy.
Imagine going through life being one
of those lanky streaks of piss?
Why don't we try it?
See how it feels?
Do you want something?
Or is acting creepy as fuck another one of your quirks?
Just watching a leader at work.
More afternoon drinking with Frank, is it?
You need to deal with this Scout's business.
I'll talk to Remona.
Offer to pay for any cow damage.
I meant with Saul.
He'll get over it.
Kids do.
He shouldn't have to get over it.
Scouts was something he wanted to do,
before Uncle Big Balls came along and wasted it for him.
That wasn't my intention.
You made him feel like a twat, so he acted like one.
So now you and your big swinging ball sack need to sort it.
Oh, you look gorgeous.
Me and Katie have been having great time.
Take it off, love, we're going home.
Stay as you are.
I think your Daddy is a little bit confused.
You can't just stick her in a dress, Mimi.
She's not bloody Barbie.
No, she thinks she's fucking Ken.
Take the dress off.
The prodigal son trick is to come back
the once, law of diminishing returns with you.
We're leaving.
Oh, he's come back to tell us he's going away.
I'm sorry.
Again.
It's OK.
Oh, don't worry, he'll be back with the next
existential crisis hits him.
Another failure to hang on his poor old dad.
It's Katie's communion next week.
I won't stop you coming.
Well, bear with me while I deal
with the overwhelming emotion of the moment.
Come on, sweetheart.
Oh, sloppy work, Nazir.
i could blow that one down myself.
Don't give me cows.
Now then, boys, look.
This is how it should be done.
Well, Baloo helped me.
Well done, Baloo.
Well done to you.
Well done, Baloo.
Well done to you.
Oh, the camera loves you.
The state of them.
It's supposed to be Mary and the baby Jesus.
Oh, will you look at that?
She's like an angel.
It's not too late to change your mind, you know?
Well, it makes Nana happy.
That's no reason to do something if it
makes you feel uncomfortable.
Granddad says we Gallaghers, we do it our own way.
Yeah, and that's usually the bloody hard way.
Look at you.
Hiya, gorgeous.
Hiya, sweetheart.
Hey, mate.
You look fabulous.
You got off lightly.
She was going to make you wear this.
[inaudible]
Frank?
He knows it's on.
You may enter the board room.
LIP: Now, in the 17th century, your parents might have
handed you off to a wet nurse.
That's a woman who breastfeed you,
so your mom doesn't have to.
I mean, that's brilliant.
Spend your early years sucking on a stranger's tits,
and meanwhile, dads just stand there, spare prick
at the wedding so to speak.
Because we never have that same bond that mothers do,
we never carry the little ones around inside us.
FRANK: The job's more or less finished after you've
pulled your dick out.
LIP: Except it's not, and that's the big secret, isn't it?
FRANK: We're terrified of our kids.
Little strangers taking over our lives.
LIP: We don't always fuck up because we're twats.
FRANK: It's because we don't know what else to do.
So thank's fuck for the extended family.
Well, most of them anyway.
[theme music]
(SINGING) Kumbaya, my Lord.
Kumbaya.
Oh my ya, my Lord, kumbaya.
All right, Baloo, You're not scared, are you?
Touch me, and I'll cut your hands off.
Sleep tight.