[chiming tones]
Look at me, right?
And look at the Queen.
I was never a fan, until it occurred to me how
much me and mam have in common.
Bringing up kiddies you can't remember the names of.
I know she's not a single parent,
but she might as well be.
Plus, the pair of we've stuck we to our guns--
her literally sometimes-- and flagshipped a dying breed.
Admired and despised equally.
Not for never lifting a finger.
No, for setting examples through extremity.
And whether you're a big-wig on her end, or a big-wig on mine,
you still got all your dickheads in the middle to deal with.
Snip, snip, snipping at your benefits.
I mean, she can't not be looking at me
and thinking, "what's your secret, Frank?"
I got shot of my kids yonks back, whereas she's yet to see
the back of a single one.
Fine, I have had to get out of bed on occasion
to make ends meet, whereas she's the whole thing from a chair.
Oh, and a drink for the lady.
Oh, sure, there's perks.
But look at her lot--
Brian May prancing about on her roof.
Now, look at my lot.
We know how to throw a proper fuckin' party!
[upbeat pop rock music]
[hip-hop music]
JAMIE MAGUIRE: Most people are born to be led.
But some, some are born to lead.
With the right ingredients, we rise up
and we take our place at the top.
I reckon it's mainly in the genes.
But the backing of a loyal family often helps.
The Maguires, OK.
We never said we ran Manchester.
We never wanted to.
But Chatsworth?
This is our manor.
Our way.
We're the social services.
[shouting]
Fuck off!
The bank.
[cash register dings]
Right, yeah.
JAMIE MAGUIRE: The police.
Always looking to branch out and provide new services.
Mam's getting all socially aware and making
inroads into education.
A "Rastamouse" DVD for the team that picks the most.
[gasps]
Ready?
Go!
JAMIE MAGUIRE: Brother Shane's expanded into leisure
with the festival side.
A toast, to expansion.
To Expansion
Expansion.
JAMIE MAGUIRE: And I'm at the helm.
Bottom line, we look after our own,
our estate, our own little kingdom, Chatsworth.
[hip-hop music]
[slow r&b music]
[chatter]
[shutter clicking]
Ladies, yeah, give us a bit of that.
Pap-asite in the area, scruff us up and dumb us down.
They'll need air-brushing with a road sweeper, that lot.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Yeah, that's the one.
That's the one.
Oh yeah, there's a good shot.
Ey-up!
Midnight flit.
Avril Powell at three o'clock!
[cheering]
Pound back on your trollies?
[laughter]
Head up.
I've never felt like such a tramp.
[horn honking]
[cheering]
[whistling]
[applause]
Manchester's still alive.
[cheering]
When I hear "shithole," I don't listen anymore.
[cheers]
CROWD: Yea!
Just like the Olympic Committee didn't
listen to Wilmslow and Bowdown, and chose Chatsworth!
[cheering]
Yes!
Chatsworth!
To receive one of the actual rigns from London, 2012!
[cheering]
Where Manchester leads, the rest of the country follows!
Football!
Ticket touts!
Music!
Persian rugs!
Fashion!
Only a tenner for your Jekyll Lacostes.
[laughter]
[applause]
The Olympic motto is our motto,
as we regenerate the shitholes.
Swifter, higher, stronger than before!
Roll up steroids on tap.
[laughter]
No, it's mine.
I love mine.
Hey, police brutality!
My grandad died for free speech on the fields of Peterloo,
you monkey!
And
Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present
your very own Olympic ring!
[cheering]
[quiet chatter]
That's not an Olympic ring.
[booing]
Shit.
Mate, look.
Um-- well-- uh--
listen--
Go home, you fucking weasel.
Yeah!
[angry chatter] [crowd claps rhythmically]
The mayor is in the altogether, his altogether,
his altogether, his altogether.
Yeah, they're past the sell-by.
Make it aromatic.
Ladies, and gentlemen, please!
[crowd shouting] Go on, get down!
Please!
[crowd shouting]
[shutter clicks]
Stop!
I will not submit to brutality.
Rodney King, Mark Duggan, now another tragic "accident!"
[shutter clicks]
Yeah, you take him on!
Take us all on!
Come on, let's have it, you wanker!
You bitch!
Come now!
Not the ring!
[horn honks]
[engine starts, revs]
Tell them to calm down.
They're only having a laugh.
They listen to you.
Yeah, to a point.
All units back down.
[crowd shouting]
[horn honks twice]
[laughter]
Thought that fat 5-0 was gonna cry when
the egg hit him in the head. [glass breaks]
Hey, enough!
Kids play on this street, Tel.
Hey, Tish, you proper missed it!
We proper showed them.
What happened?
The fed's shit it!
How's the big move going?
I'm moving in with my big sister.
Yeah, works wonders for my self-esteem.
Well, she's always thought she's better than everyone
else.
Yeah, and her homeless, potless little sister
just perpetuates the myth.
See ya later.
Bye, love.
[flute music]
Right, what do you think?
Use your Old Spice.
That aftershave doesn't come cheap.
The stronger aroma caressing your nostrils
is the sweet smell of success.
[UPBEAT PIANO AND PERCUSSION MUSIC]
[knocks on door]
Oh, Avril's moved out.
Are you Frank, the bloke who shifted Coggsy's furniture?
And duly twinged a hamstring in the process, yeah.
- Happy days. - Fuck you talk--
hey.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm expecting someone.
- We know. - Jizzabelle.
Just diagnosed with a nasty dose.
Waiting on a prescription.
A professional hazard, but a lucky break for you.
Lend us your phone.
We always come as a pair.
You ready for the night of your life, Frank?
What's up, Frank?
Coggsy?
Yeah, we need to renegotiate, mate.
Well, I'll take the money instead.
These two are bigger than the fucking settees.
Oi!
Don't get personal, Franky Wanky.
Where's Jizzabelle?
I don't care if she's got AIDS.
I'll get double bagged up and watch her tamper with herself.
I'd rather do a Rock Hudson than be trampled
on by these gastric bandits.
Cheeky twat.
What about the bird in the photo?
[laughter]
Huh?
I'm Sherrilee.
And I'm Derrilee.
And once you've been spatchcocked by us,
there ain't no looking back.
[laughter]
[knocking at door]
[coughs] - Hiya.
- Hi.
Any feds come back?
Hiya.
Don't you love smashing them up?
Why so snide?
Just a couple?
The last thing your borderline personality needs
is a dose of this twisted shite.
No-one else coming?
It seems people have got cautious in their old age.
OK, then, I'm going to be all right, go on.
Mushroom virgin.
I promised I wouldn't let him go under.
I'm a firm believer, a trip a year is
a great work-out for the swede.
About time you told me who you've been shagging,
wide smile, sparkly eyes.
She's right.
You can't fake that shit.
Don't be stupid.
This will open you up.
No pain, no gain.
[MUSIC - THE ROLLING STONES, "PAINT IT BLACK"]
I was there!
It was my 21st!
It was a madhouse.
Mhm.
God, I was fucking fat.
[laughs]
Hey, that was the night Jamie was conceived.
Paddy sneaked out of the open nick for my birthday.
Only shag in five months, and I'm
off me trolley on mushrooms.
[laughter]
It wasn't just a shag.
Are you getting at something?
Oh, that image has scarred me for years.
What image?
I thought the two of them were attacking.
Tell me what you were on about?
[laughter]
Paddy wasn't the only one getting it on.
Alfy the Arab?
The medical student?
Now I remember.
Paddy was up the Gary Glitter.
Wahey!
Suppose someone had to.
[laughter]
It wasn't his thing, ever.
The mushrooms must have loosened him up.
That's how I know.
You only shagged him five months
the night Jamie was conceived?
[MUSIC - THE ROLLING STONES, "PAINT IT BLACK"]
(SINGING) --fade away, and I had to face the facts--
MIMI (IN HEAD) (ECHOING) But Alfy was up the front
and Paddy was up the Gary Glitter.
Frank's heard you've got mushrooms.
[MUSIC - THE ROLLING STONES, "PAINT IT BLACK"]
(SINGING) I wanna see you paint it, paint it, paint it,
paint it black. Yeah.
Someone going to tell me what's going on?
[flute music]
KAREN: Well, your mum can't look down her nose at me anymore.
the dirty bitch.
I mean, you know how big she was back then.
I suppose Mimi's sexual deviance is the least of your worries.
For 32 years, happy with who you are.
I'm happy.
Connor's happy.
You're still you.
Still feel like a pound of semtex has gone off in my head.
[distant sirens]
Do I get the impression you liked that, Frank?
Oh, God.
Eh, Derrilee, what the fuck are you doing?
Get over here!
In a minute.
There's no telling her, Frank.
It's a proper obsession.
I have to clean.
She goes through 30 quid a week on bleach alone.
Nobody even fucking lives here!
You should've entertained us 'round your gaff.
She'd have left it sparkling.
[laughter]
[moaning]
[panting]
I think I could get used to them mushrooms.
Imagine Jamie's head today?
You think it's any worse than Mimi's?
[panting]
Maybe Jamie hasn't said nothing.
Well, why would he?
Dom and Gloria promised it would go no further.
Oh!
You're shitting me.
Oh!
You brought two?
Seriously.
[laughter]
Yeah, you can trust them.
Hmm.
[MUSIC - GEORGE MICHAEL, "FAITH"]
(SINGING) --but I need some time off from that emotion--
As you were.
The dinner ladies want a price on a thousand tins of tomatoes.
I'll sort it.
As you were!
Can we have a talk in private?
I'm the one with me dirty knickers on display.
And I'm another product of them being dropped.
This isn't easy for me.
Piece of piss for me.
Oh, get over yourself.
Just like that?
MIMI: Does it make that much difference?
Difference is, I thought I was a d
I'm still your mother.
More's the pity.
She didn't remember.
Exactly.
How's this my fault?
Do you know what, he wouldn't even
be here if it wasn't for me.
Code red!
[r&b music]
It's OK!
Just nobody move!
Do not move!
Simmer down.
This is not a drugs raid.
So what's the charge then?
Public disorder, affray.
affray?
I've used more eggs than an omelette.
Come on, what's your sense of humor?
They were only messing about
Camera does not lie.
But I weren't even there!
And him!
The camera's telling porkies this time.
Look!
I swear, that's not even me.
He was working here, 12-6, all week.
You know who was working.
I was at the ceremony.
Exactly And that's why you'll be joining us as well.
Bollocks!
And her.
Oh!
This is harassment!
Get off me, you fucking knobhead!
[r&b music]
Uh, d'you mind?
I'm tryin' to have a slash here.
Very impressive, Shane Maguire.
Of can't see any rioters here, can you?
Stay put till we've gone.
[r&b music]
This is fucking ridiculous!
They've not even done anything!
And we're still looking for these.
It's a fucking joke!
(SINGING) Thank God for you, the wing
beneath my-y-y-y wings.
Thanks.
Celine warbles the vowels just a tad longer,
gives the perfect yolk.
Mum reckoned Bette Midler's version was better.
That's why her eggs were too runny.
Such a relief having you in a safe environment at last.
Riots, junkies, gangsters, consider them
things of the past.
Get settled in a decent neighborhood.
Chatsworth's all right.
We never felt anything but secure there.
Maybe when Jackson was around.
But all's well that ends well.
Me and Mary Mae can look after you now.
Now for the fun part. [beeps]
Weekly costs.
100 quid each gets all-inclusive, Wi-Fi's on,
but sky's extra.
Shit!
Anything you want to share?
One of the kids has gone off the rails.
Kids?
Yeah with mental under-privileged
immigrant families.
Got to go.
Always on call.
Thank you.
White kids got four years for nicking
Mars bars in the last riots.
You've done nothing wrong.
Hold your head up.
Excuse me?
Hi.
Um, I just wanted to clear up a little misunderstanding.
See, my daughter and I were moving house earlier.
We--
[r&b music]
This is unbelievable.
We were moving house.
With shopping trolleys?
Yeah.
Hold your head up, mum.
MAN: Is your dad in?
Not seen him for a few weeks. he works away.
MAN: Can we have a look 'round?
Not without my permission, you can't.
Thought you do everything together?
DERRILEE: 'Sharston pole-dancing night is her only night off.
And you said you spent all your money on the extra hours?
Well, you know, I was hoping we
could come to an arrangement.
Business is business, Frank.
I know.
Yeah, but you know, given the laugh we had--
[laughs]
I mean, you know, you must have felt the connection.
[laughs]
Well, credit me till next giro--
[dial tone]
[phone buttons beeping]
Coggsy, you got any settees that need shifting?
[sighs]
Well, there's got to be something I can do.
So where the fuck am I going to find 30 quid that--
[suspenseful music]
[pottery clatters]
[coins clinking]
Won't find anything in there.
Well done with the pigs, by the way.
Piece of cake.
[electronic music]
[door creaks, thuds]
Hey, any Bad Girls lesbian fantasies?
I let the desk sergeant come on my glasses.
Been a long time since we were banged up together.
Oh what, like the good old days?
Quiet, please.
Be quiet!
Maybe I shouldn't be surprised,
given the lack of respect shown to the distinguished
honor of being chosen to host one of the Olympic rings.
It was a zero.
At least, it appears you're saving
yourself some further embarrassment
by all pleading guilty?
Only because of bullshit pressure.
Button it, Avril.
You might have had your first charge sheet at 17,
but I had better hopes for her.
This is a disgrace!
The fact you went equipped with such ideal transportation
would argue compellingly against you.
We were nowhere near!
Mum--
You're more than free to take it
further and gamble with the sentencing
powers of the Crown Court.
[suspenseful music]
Good.
You'll be dealt with individually.
Catherine Mimi Harmonica Joy Tutton, 500 pounds and 100
hours community service.
900 pounds and 100 hours.
150 hours.
What--
Looting 80 hours should give you
time to reflect on the damage you've caused
to property and the community.
Last but not least, Lillian Tyler.
Given your previous good character,
I think binding over will be sufficient in your case.
[r&b music]
Waahey!
Everyone has suffered a miscarriage of justice.
Hey hey!
[cheering]
[jovial chatter]
So the navvy is going to be at the school?
Eh, Jamie?
Our business?
Have I got to take care of everything as usual?
I've just been in court again because of this family.
What's that got to do with anything?
I'm not even a Maguire!
Hey, not having dad's potato genes
might explain why your accent's all over the place, eh?
Fucking hell, watch it, Plastic Paddy.
You really fancy this?
Yeah I do, mate.
I feel it in me blood.
Telling ya, this field's the golden goose
that keeps on shitting eggs.
We're going to smash it.
Do Do you reckon Paddy knew?
Why worry about him?
Find your real dad.
That's more important.
Come on, how bad can it be?
You reckon?
I know.
Sandwiches?
Yeah.
Has a bit of exercise got my little bastard feeling
any better?
You're still convinced Connor would like a grandad?
Yeah.
I mean, I adored mine.
Someone to spoil him even more than we do?
Might spoil us as well.
I think it's time to track him down. .
He lives in the poshest part of Leeds.
[flute music]
You need 30 quid, and I need to stay on the PTA.
The kiddies know what to pick.
You bring me mushrooms straight to me.
Nick any, and your scrawny ass will decompose in that field,
providing good nutrients for next year's crop.
And keep your beady eyes on those lazy bastards
rebuilding the shitters.
First sign of skiving, get on the blower.
So do I get paid now or at the end of the day?
Public sector, Frank.
Monthly wages like everyone else.
What good's that?
Sacrifice a giro in the meantime?
No chance.
It's less effort than signing on!
Ugh.
Forms every week, job plans, job club.
It's full-time employment keeping out of work these days.
This job is tailor-made for a lazy cunt like you.
Part time, own room, going missing, phone.
tidy a bit here, there, sweep a few leaves.
[shimmering chimes]
A doddle!
[shimmering chimes]
Frank?
What?
You can tell there's plenty of money around here.
Will you calm down?
You look fine.
You sure you don't want us to come in with you?
No.
Better break the news gently.
How could you not love you?
[flute music]
MIMI: Where's Jamie?
He rang in sick.
So he finds Alfy, what's the point?
Why does he think that's going to help?
Exactly.
Just drive himself mad for nothing.
[scrubbing]
What, I thought you got off.
I did.
And I heard those Arabs, they don't age well.
Exactly
although it does sound like a better option than Paddy.
Paddy wasn't all bad.
I suppose he couldn't have been.
Meaning?
Well, I never get shit dick, do I?
Oh, here we go again.
Up the greaser, yak, yak, yak!
I have no idea what my dad's up to now.
I've not even got one anymore.
[phone beeping]
Pick up, Gallagher, you lazy tramp!
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Frank.
Ah, mama Mimi, most mild.
Cut the wisecracks, scruffy bollocks.
How's the kiddie-shitters looking?
Er-- hang on.
They haven't even turned up.
Fucking knew it.
[scrubbing continues]
This is for the community, right?
Community service.
Yeah.
Have you got any say in how we serve our time?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, we're not talking the Sudan
or some other potless gaff.
Less than a mile away from here, English kiddies
are risking illness and disease by holding
urine and their feces because they haven't
got functioning toilets.
That or they march to Mapley Park and risk noncing
by paedos.
Half term starts today.
Imagine the joy on their faces if they got back to find
they could piss in safety.
[r&b music]
- Karen! - Right then.
Shall we go and see granddad?
Kassi, Karen.
- Hiya. - Hello.
Welcome.
Come in.
And this is Connor.
Say hello to your new uncle. - Hello.
Hello.
Connor's us three new cousins.
Wow.
No grandad, I'm afraid.
Oh.
Dad died when I turned 16.
Jamie will fill you in.
Can he use the toilet?
Oh yes, of course.
Go on.
Tea?
Coffee?
Coffee would be great.
Well, it looks like he inherited a few quid though.
Fuck all.
Alfy the Arab died potless.
He wasn't a doctor.
Oh.
He dropped out after his first year.
Are you OK with that?
I am.
It's a shame for Connor.
There any more?
How old is he?
30.
He's done all right for himself.
Are you done?
Come on then.
[slow piano music]
Where in Liverpool is the pub?
It's not.
It's Manchester.
Of course, right, sorry.
Struggling, getting my head around all this.
Jamie's mom is from Liverpool.
Ah, and she was at college with dad.
She worked in the-- the chip shop.
What does she do now?
She's big in the local PTA.
There.
[laughs]
Who's that with them?
Paddy.
Who you thought was your dad?
[clock ticking]
She's not his normal type.
How long were they together?
It was a bit of a one night stand.
They knew each other a while though.
Apparently they were the worse for wear.
[laughs]
Not.
No, that excuse doesn't wash.
Need an excuse?
Not for the one-night stand.
He never drank.
Yeah?
Try off his rocker on mushrooms.
No!
No chance.
They had a threesome.
Your old fella, hanging out the front.
Our old man.
Listen, we've got a lot on.
Well, Esther will be back with the kids in a minute.
Let Connor meet his cousins.
Another time, yeah?
Should've knocked that little prick out.
[flute music]
[r&b music]
Hey, it's fine.
I want to burn anyway.
Stuck on that lass I like.
[r&b music]
Oi!
Nonces!
The entertainment starts at seven!
You can come back, lad, and fucking pay at the gate!
MAN (ON MICROPHONE): Testing, testing, one, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Look, I'll give you a bell back later, yeah?
All right, mate.
MAN (ON MICROPHONE): Testing, testing.
Need the them fucking guitars from the back to be--
Look, you didn't see that.
Plenty here I haven't seen.
And I'm prepared not to, as long as you keep them enclosed.
You make this work, good luck to you.
Er, warrant!
[guitar tuning]
MAN (ON MICROPHONE): Testing, testing, one, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four, testing.
Will you turn the hat down, Tom?
Too loud.
[drums playing]
Nice office.
Moving in?
Living on site's good enough for Michael Eavis.
Just so you know, I could never be a grass.
Where's that's come from?
Why else are you giving me the, er, special treatment?
[r&b music]
Mm.
[r&b music]
Wow.
Seems your mum was a bit lively in her prime.
Wayward youth, you know.
Scousers.
I like it.
Multiple entries.
Yeah.
DISPATCH (ON RADIO): All units, all units,
reports of a missing five-year-old girl
Byley Boulevard area.
Are you going to read me my rights?
Nothing interferes with a missing kiddie.
The police are after you.
Fuck 'em!
[pop music]
Pointless trying to puncture my happiness, Lillian.
My defenses are reinforced so the full force of the law
can crash down and be rebuffed at will.
Tonight, I am truly alive!
Ah, ah, ah, only our drinks on the premises, Frank.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20 diddly-dees, my good man.
And not the disco biscuit dancy things,
them hardcore filthy ones spiked with a pinch of Viagra.
All the drugs got flirted in the raid.
No one's got access till Jamie gets back.
Ah!
Mine host of the chemicals.
Alfy not with you?
Well, if you fancy another threesome
you better get a shovel, cos he's six feet
under in Roundhay Cemetery.
Haha!
Boosh!
[laughs]
How was it?
Well, he's got a new brother.
Fuck off.
Are you serious?
Cool as me?
Thought so.
At last.
The world mourns another poor dead Arab.
Jamie, what are you-- what are you playing at, mate?
Produce-request.
And all this bullshit's done with.
No more running 'round, playing that "Who do you think y'are?"
While you've been fucking about in Leeds,
I've been busy picking up the pieces.
Jamie, pill-me-up with the stepping
stones to celestial bliss.
20 of your finest set of toning fucker-uppers, the dirty ones.
[indistinct chatter]
Ah!
[laughs]
Hey!
I love it here, me.
It's good to know, Frank.
You've always been like a son to me.
[sighs]
Don't wait up, anyone!
I've sorted another crew, silver lining
of community service.
I'm not interested.
Come on, Jamie, this is getting boring.
I'm out.
What does that mean?
Out of what?
The lot.
Congratulations on your promotion, mate.
[flute music]
Are you sayin' what I think you're sayin'?
Why is it so difficult to understand?
It's over.
Mickey, definitely.
Shane, maybe.
I never thought I'd see the day where I'd
have to tell you to get a grip.
Not one little doubt in 32 years.
Jamie please believe me.
I know you must have known it wasn't Paddy.
I swear, I didn't.
Bollocks!
Oh so I'm a liar as well?!
[metal clatters]
[drawer slams]
It's every kid's instinct to prove himself to his dad.
And you did.
[sighs]
You did him, proud.
[laughs]
But it was the wrong man.
Why does it matter?
He's the one who brought you up.
So losing 10 years of your life wouldn't matter to you?
Stuck in jail, based on a lie.
All to show my dad what I was made of.
That's wasted time me and her could have spent together.
Bigger family, better house, proper neighborhood.
You always talk about getting away, by the sea.
Devon, Cornwall, maybe it's time.
Don't say that.
I've always fancied Australia, or New Zealand.
Australia and New Zealand, visas.
Manslaughter convictions don't grant instant access anymore.
Well, anywhere then.
A proper break.
Give Connor a proper start in life that we never had.
[suspenseful music]
[flute music]
Mum, we're late.
Tell me again how this mentoring works?
[r&b music]
[pop music]
(SINGING) Whoa, whoa.
[spoon taps pan]
Wakey wakey!
[pop music]
Ugh!
A more civilized manner of which to greet the sunrise I
have yet to imagine.
This is way over our rate, Frank.
Even for all night.
Well, enlighten me like that again,
and you'll be swimming in enough bleach
to sanitize Old Trafford.
I'd love your job.
We've got a real gent here, Sher.
[laughs]
He'll do.
[screams]
Now hey!
Hey!
[laughter]
[farting loudly]
Ugh!
Now do that with your mouth.
[laughter]
[sloshes]
I need to get a fucking door.
Brought you these.
Books for the business.
Eh?
Well, the official ones anyway.
Come on, you're not serious about this, are you?
I'm out. Fuck the business.
And fuck Mam.
Fuck the Chatsworth.
And me?
Yeah, fuck you ad all.
I'm not going to step up, you know.
Got this place now, haven't I?
To Big plans.
No.
Your departure heralds the end of an empire.
Maybe Mam'll do it.
You reckon?
I'm not saying she doesn't love the whole Mimi big-bollocks
routine, but it's not the only reason she does it, you know?
Yeah it is.
No, it's tribal for her.
No tribe, no point.
No you, no point.
So she does this all for me, does she?
We do it for each other.
You'll miss me.
But you'll miss her more.
[AMBIENT FLUTE AND PERCUSSION MUSIC]
Now, this is what I call value for money.
We empty the bank accounts and safety boxes.
We sell the car and furniture.
We cash in our stake on The Jockey, and we can afford this.
Five acres overlooking the ocean.
We won't even have to work for the next three years
if we don't want to.
Where is it?
Nugget Bay.
[laughs]
Very funny.
It is.
Look, you follow the coast all the way down from Christchurch
to near the bottom.
Christchurch?
New Zealand?
Which is what I always said.
Go on.
I will follow you to the end of the earth.
I love you, no matter who you are or what you are.
You me, and Connor is all that counts, no matter where we are.
I mean, watching United at three o'clock
in the morning's going to be a bit of a pain in the ass.
But other than that, it's all perfect.
[suspenseful music]
Except I know you don't want to go.
[suspenseful music]
It's only right, you know, offenders putting a bit back.
[indistinct chatter]
WOMAN: I'm not bothered.
I'll come by.
I'll get it later.
[indistinct chatter]
Guess who couldn't keep away?
Thought, I'd bring you something nutritious for lunch,
keep your strength up.
Course you did.
Consider this an education, Mary Mae.
Be grateful that this is probably
the only time you'll encounter this level of society.
Cheeky bitch. Did she speak to you?
You are so much better than this.
[r&b music]
[flute music]
[indistinct chatter]
[distant laughter]
Sandwich spread and cheese slices?
How old am I?
All this work, earning readies.
None of it matters without you.
Used to be that and a Mars Bar every Tuesday and Thursday.
Remember any others?
Beef and tomato paste and cucumber.
Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
What chocolate bar?
Kit Kat or a Bounty.
[indistinct chatter]
Been playing it over and over.
Guess the warning signs were always there.
There was always something different about you,
something more going on, something better.
[indistinct chatter]
Maybe I did know, subconsciously.
Just couldn't admit it.
Terrified what it would mean for me and Paddy.
I am sorry.
I know.
[piano music]
I will have that sandwich.
[loud zips]
That's how good I am.
That's how easy.
I can sneak up.
Which is what I'll do if you breathe
a word of this to anyone.
What do you want?
Twisted, filthy, full-on fucking and beasting.
No strings.
No questions.
[r&b music]
[sighs]
[moans]
I'm addictive.
I'll blow your mind.
And if I'm remotely impressed, it might happen again.
Show me what you've got, Mr. Villain.
Ooh.
Grr!
There you go, sweet cheeks.
There you go, smiler.
There you go, Lillian.
There you go, lazy arse.
Plenty more where that came from.
The Maguire money machine keeps on rolling.
And the school's sorted.
And looks like Lucky Pollock here finally get it right.
I can't work out how you never got nicked.
Born lucky.
[laughs]
You should start doing my lottery tickets.
[laughter] - Oh, bloody hell.
"Downturn Abby."
Her name is Patty.
We're honored.
I thought it'd be nice to spend some quality
time with my sister.
If you want to join us down at that level of society,
that's fine.
But I think you owe my friends an apology.
Come on, Avril.
There's no smoke without fire.
They were all there.
And there was a riot.
An apology.
I'm sorry.
[rock music plays on jukebox]
Mine's a G&T, babes.
Kassi!
Wow, what's the occasion?
It's a private celebration.
[indistinct chatter]
Thought it was my turn to make the effort,
check out Manchester, me and you get to know each other.
I wanted to find my dad.
This wasn't about me and you.
But But it's a good opportunity to explore that.
Not really, no.
You might find that we have more in common than you think.
And I always wanted a brother.
He's got me, hasn't he?
I'm Kassi.
It's time you should leave.
You're not listening.
Fuck off.
Maybe come another time, Kass.
Oh come on, mate.
Dickhead!
You still here?
What's the problem?
You are!
[thuds]
For fuck's sake, Jamie!
He's your brother!
Get him fucking out of here!
[dramatic music]
Shane, throw him out the back!
JAMIE MAGUIRE: Chatsworth, the Maguires.
What if I'm meant to be part of another kingdom?
I love "The Jungle Book" when I was a kid,
but I always got upset when Mowgli
realized he wasn't a wolf.
It wasn't his fault he'd been conned.
He still loved the wolves and Big Baloo,
but he could never forget he was different.
Couldn't help wondering if there were more like him.
Mowgli knew he had to go to the village
and see what it was all about.
So he went, to find his place in the world.
[phone rings]
KASSI (ON VOICEMAIL): Hey, this is Kassi.
I can't take your call right now.
So please leave a message and I'll
get back to you when I can.
JAMIE MAGUIRE: And good things happened, right?
[pop rock music]
CHORUS: (SINGING) Ba-ba-da-ba!
Ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba!
Ba-ba-da-ba!
Ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba!
Ba-ba-da-ba!
Ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba!
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-ba!
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba!
[pop rock music]
'Ere, tell him what your Biddy said.
That I left hair in the bath!
Oh, ride it, baby!
Hair, as if.
Yeah, let it go.
I know how good I cleaned it.
It sparkles.
I love to clean.
Ride it out!
[moans]
Give it to her, big boy.
[moaning]
[growling]
[moaning]
[frank grunts]
[inhales loudly]
[sighs]
[grunts]
[flute music]
[chiming tones]