1 00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:09,367 Anyone watching thinking we know fuck all about knowing 2 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:12,767 fuck all about owt, needs to watch their backs. 3 00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:16,100 So you've had your labor, reclassifying skunk, sending 4 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,367 prices sky-high, literally. 5 00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:21,800 Literally taking the grass from it's own roots. 6 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:24,233 Now, you've got your condemnation-- 7 00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:28,000 liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up. 8 00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:31,833 Haven't we had a national fucking stroke or what? 9 00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:35,667 Is revolution a word or was it never? 10 00:00:35,767 --> 00:00:39,133 Anybody watching needs to know, we cope better than average 11 00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:41,033 with a hibernating Chatsworth. 12 00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:44,933 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester. 13 00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:47,900 And they charge us for water. 14 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,533 I wandered lonely as a clown necking mushrooms rarely found. 15 00:00:52,633 --> 00:00:55,667 Green and pleasant land in ancient times. 16 00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:56,800 Fucking-- 17 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,733 Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. 18 00:00:58,833 --> 00:01:02,200 It's not theirs anymore. 19 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:05,400 This is our England now. 20 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,400 Party! 21 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,267 [music playing] 22 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,767 [alarm beeping] 23 00:01:18,867 --> 00:01:21,733 KAREN MAGUIRE (VOICEOVER): My husband has killed men. 24 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:27,200 I don't know how many, I don't know the circumstances. 25 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:30,833 I do know better than to ask. 26 00:01:30,933 --> 00:01:33,600 There's a dark side to my husband. 27 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:34,533 He has secrets. 28 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:42,533 Defends what is his, it's in his blood, generation 29 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:45,100 after generation. 30 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:49,467 Do not cross my husband lightly, because if he finds you, 31 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:51,867 he will exact a terrible revenge. 32 00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:53,500 [phone ringing] 33 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,067 I'll get it. - Oh, it's all right. 34 00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:55,967 I've got it. 35 00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:57,767 Go back to sleep. 36 00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:05,000 [phone ringing] 37 00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,767 Hello? 38 00:02:07,867 --> 00:02:08,700 This has to stop. 39 00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,033 You better stay in your hole, you little fucking prick, 40 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,733 because I'll cut your throat from ear to fucking ear. 41 00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:20,900 [dial tone] 42 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,233 Everything all right? 43 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,700 Yeah, wrong number. 44 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:25,600 Just go back to bed. 45 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,933 [music playing] 46 00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:35,000 Cheers. 47 00:02:38,467 --> 00:02:39,500 Cheers now. 48 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,833 South African? 49 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,000 Yes. 50 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,867 You are a white South African? 51 00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:48,633 Buttons and Soweto and Steve Biko? 52 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,500 Desmond Mandela and the rest. 53 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,167 My father went out there after the war 54 00:02:52,267 --> 00:02:56,400 to be a policeman for a party, 55 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,500 Apartheid. 56 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,567 Then he wanted to trade the place out there. 57 00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:02,333 They've got maids, gardeners, servants, the lot. 58 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:05,200 And a proper respect for the law. 59 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,133 You must of had a passport before now. 60 00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:08,533 Didn't need one. 61 00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:12,333 I've never been north of Bury or south of Stockport. 62 00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:15,133 These are for the citizenship test, Lillian. 63 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:16,933 Why do you need a citizen? 64 00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:19,200 You're not a British citizen? 65 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,733 There were a lot of forms to fill in, 66 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,200 and I couldn't be bothered. 67 00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:26,533 Whew! 68 00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:27,900 Yeah. - Hey, come on. 69 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,267 Pace yourself, son. 70 00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:31,267 It's a Snickers, not a sprint. - Come on, Frank. 71 00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:32,633 I'm just getting warmed up. 72 00:03:32,733 --> 00:03:34,233 Hey, senorita. 73 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:36,667 Come on, drinks all around. 74 00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,133 Oh, you beauty. 75 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,500 Click your fingers at me again and you will be tickling 76 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,533 your prostate with them. 77 00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:49,300 I don't apologize. 78 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,967 Oh what, was the nursery full? 79 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:53,000 I heard the slap, didn't I? 80 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:56,633 Do it again, please. 81 00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:58,967 When we ask for a drink, we ask 82 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:01,167 with some fucking good grace. 83 00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:03,200 Some fucking good grace. 84 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,300 Well, we would be most grateful if we 85 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,600 could have a top-up, please. 86 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,533 Better. 87 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,300 Oh, you know what? 88 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,867 That might be one of the most erotic moments of my life. 89 00:04:15,967 --> 00:04:17,967 I think you're confusing sex with corporal punishment 90 00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:19,500 at schoolboy error. 91 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,567 You know that I'm good with the ladies, better than most. 92 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:24,767 Oh you think so, do you? 93 00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:27,733 Watch and learn, son. 94 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,167 Could I interest you-- 95 00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:30,867 Not unless you had a full head and body transplant. 96 00:04:30,967 --> 00:04:33,400 Haha, crash and burn. 97 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:36,967 Mock if you must, but I have spread my seed plenty wide. 98 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,267 Flying solo doesn't count, Frank. 99 00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:40,067 Solo. 100 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:41,167 Dominoes? 101 00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:46,767 Anything? 102 00:04:46,867 --> 00:04:48,667 Just bills and stuff. 103 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:49,867 Don't worry. 104 00:04:49,967 --> 00:04:50,800 Just got to-- 105 00:04:53,867 --> 00:04:57,767 [music playing] 106 00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:14,500 Yeah, come on then, you fucking coward! 107 00:05:18,633 --> 00:05:19,500 Shadow boxing again, eh? 108 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,633 What are you sneaking around for? 109 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:23,133 Fuck, I'm not sneaking around. 110 00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:25,100 I've got four pound of fucking weed here. 111 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,900 Do you think I'm going to go in through the front door? 112 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,267 That was out of order. 113 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:31,000 Pressure. 114 00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,267 Oh, apology accepted. 115 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:34,133 I didn't fucking apologize. 116 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,933 Yeah, one of these days, I'm going to hit back. 117 00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:40,600 A little alcohol, but definitely no weed, 118 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,767 or her larynx will swell like a baboon's ass. 119 00:05:42,867 --> 00:05:45,433 Then she'll be smoking through a hole in her neck. 120 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:51,633 It's for my time. 121 00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:53,667 It's taking up more and more of my day. 122 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,800 I've noticed. 123 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,367 Meaning? 124 00:05:57,467 --> 00:06:00,267 Don't pick a fight just 'cause you've got a guilty conscience. 125 00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:02,333 Her mother's not got a pot to piss in. 126 00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:05,000 That lot would have cost her 60 quid over the counter. 127 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,033 So you're the great provider. 128 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,000 I hear you. 129 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,767 Yak, yak, fucking yak. 130 00:06:08,867 --> 00:06:10,033 Swear and wear a micro-mini. 131 00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,800 That'll get you ahead in life. 132 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,067 Start smoking while you're at it. 133 00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:14,133 I already do. 134 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,433 I'm helping people. 135 00:06:19,533 --> 00:06:23,533 So what are you going to spend your earnings on? 136 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,667 Is that what your big book tells you? 137 00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,200 How to be a smart ass? 138 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,600 You've convinced yourself what you're 139 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:30,900 doing is right, haven't you? 140 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,800 It is. 141 00:06:35,433 --> 00:06:36,900 But you've got to ask yourself this, 142 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,033 when was the last time you got your end away? 143 00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,433 Twice, this morning. 144 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,667 And a blowie. 145 00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:43,767 Ah, fuck. 146 00:06:43,867 --> 00:06:46,633 I have recently, frequently. 147 00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:47,667 Thought not. 148 00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:49,267 Well don't try and out-sex me. 149 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:53,000 How many woman have you poked? 150 00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:55,067 - I haven't got a clue. - Ha. 151 00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:57,300 Look, the point is him, he's starting out. 152 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,633 Me, I guess I'm at my prime. 153 00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,567 You, you're a spent force. 154 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:04,100 I mean, pretty soon, your sex life will be consigned 155 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,467 to history, like Spangles. 156 00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:10,900 Oh, I'm out. 157 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,467 Got to start my shift. 158 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,867 32. 159 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,067 And an half. 160 00:07:16,167 --> 00:07:18,033 How many I've shagged. 161 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,533 I'll be back in a couple of hours, yeah? 162 00:07:19,633 --> 00:07:20,567 Everything all right? 163 00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:21,500 Why wouldn't it be? 164 00:07:23,633 --> 00:07:24,800 Yeah, 20 minutes. 165 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:25,833 See you then? 166 00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:26,900 Where are you off? 167 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,033 Lock up in Gorton. 168 00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,333 There's been a fire. - Have we lost-- 169 00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:30,100 The lot. 170 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,567 We've lost the lot. 171 00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:33,867 Well who the fuck knew about Gordon? 172 00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:35,000 No one. 173 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,267 I had to give the lads a postcode 174 00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:38,633 so they could Sat-Nav it. 175 00:07:38,733 --> 00:07:39,667 You need company? 176 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:40,767 No, I'll be back as soon as. 177 00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:51,600 [laughter] 178 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,667 What are they laughing at? 179 00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,167 Pair of dinosaurs. 180 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,400 Take their bras off and their tits will hit their knees. 181 00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:00,533 Wouldn't be a teenager again for all the money in the world. 182 00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:02,167 Oh, I fucking would. 183 00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:05,933 The damage I could cause knowing what I know now. 184 00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,967 Sandy Alexander dropped this off. 185 00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:11,133 Urine sample. 186 00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:14,433 Any chance of the results by Tuesday, he says? 187 00:08:14,533 --> 00:08:18,033 From Patty Croker, in case you've forgotten the last set. 188 00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,867 Patty's been warned off every GP's 189 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,433 practice in North Manchester. 190 00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:24,533 And Sandy, I think he's diabetic. 191 00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:26,267 You're diagnosing people? 192 00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,300 I'm putting tests into the system. 193 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,967 They send off hundreds to the lab every day. 194 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,267 What's the point of having knowledge 195 00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,700 if you don't apply it? 196 00:08:38,167 --> 00:08:40,100 Think of them as a couple? 197 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,633 She'd have him for breakfast. 198 00:08:41,733 --> 00:08:42,867 He's a big lad, your dad. 199 00:08:42,967 --> 00:08:44,767 Yeah, but she's a right dirty scrubber. 200 00:08:44,867 --> 00:08:46,767 You can tell. 201 00:08:46,867 --> 00:08:47,700 True. 202 00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:57,767 Totally clear? 203 00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:58,767 Absolutely. 204 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,400 Jamie? 205 00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,467 It was nailed to the door. 206 00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:13,733 Whose is it? 207 00:09:17,133 --> 00:09:18,133 My wife's. 208 00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:35,267 16,421 souls. 209 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,000 That's how many I've boffed. 210 00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,500 Before or after lunch? 211 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,700 Lifetime, smart ass. 212 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,567 Well, it's a very precise number. 213 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,800 Not 16,00, 16,421. 214 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:48,767 Total population of the Chatsworth 215 00:09:48,867 --> 00:09:55,300 according to the census of 2011, as reported on "Mancapedia." 216 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,300 You've fucked everyone on the Chatsworth? 217 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,867 That's one a day since you were eight. 218 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,100 365 times 53. 219 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,267 Your age minus 16 220 00:10:03,367 --> 00:10:06,233 Stop Fuck off and count matchsticks 221 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,467 or lines on the road, you gimp. 222 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:11,067 By association. 223 00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:13,133 Six degrees of separation. 224 00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:16,033 Not a single individual on the Chatsworth that I have not 225 00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:18,567 fucked once or twice removed. 226 00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,533 That's bollocks. 227 00:10:20,633 --> 00:10:23,100 Yeah? 228 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,700 I've had him. 229 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,433 I think I would have remembered. 230 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,367 I fucked her. 231 00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:31,467 Oi. 232 00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,133 She regularly humps her hubby, presumably. 233 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,067 More fool him. 234 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,533 I get it, oi. 235 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:42,633 Hubby slithered out of the scally muff of his mother, 236 00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:47,400 where young William frequently deposits his juvenile jizz. 237 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:51,933 Therefore by association, I have jizzed where he has jizzed. 238 00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:55,333 Though I jizzed there first, so to speak. 239 00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:57,000 How long has this been going on? 240 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,633 A couple of weeks. 241 00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:00,467 At first, I thought it was just some nobody 242 00:11:00,567 --> 00:11:03,433 fancying his chances, but it's got to be a team. 243 00:11:03,533 --> 00:11:05,200 They're all over us. 244 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:09,200 Where we are, who we're with, when we're in or out. 245 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,567 I had to shred my bank cards this morning, 246 00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:12,233 someone's been having a go at my accounts. 247 00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:21,167 This is the real deal, Mum. 248 00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:25,200 Could be coming from any direction. 249 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,133 Have you told Karen? 250 00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,167 She'd fucking freak. 251 00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:32,800 I think you'd better, forewarned and all that. 252 00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,600 You're going to have to smoke them out. 253 00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:40,267 Find out who, and then you'll know why. 254 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,700 My little swimmers course through the bloodstreams 255 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,933 of all, female or male. 256 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:47,033 I am omnigender. 257 00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:48,633 I'll put that on your tab. 258 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:49,767 See, anyone can do that. 259 00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:50,867 Oh yeah? 260 00:11:50,967 --> 00:11:52,133 Well, have a go, Rob Roy McGregor. 261 00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,300 You'll soon hit a hurdle. 262 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:59,267 I have, for example, deposited my stuff in your little McMuff. 263 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:02,067 Bullshit. And let's try and keep it clean. 264 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:08,133 I rode Angie, who fucked Colin G, who shagged Tricia 265 00:12:08,233 --> 00:12:10,967 Patterson, who's the wife of young Danny, 266 00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:12,133 who's been dipping his wick in you 267 00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:13,833 recently, if I'm not much mistaken. 268 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,467 Though not enough people aware of the fact. 269 00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:17,967 Fucking married. 270 00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,867 I'm not. 271 00:12:19,967 --> 00:12:22,667 So six degrees of separation. 272 00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:27,833 I like it. 273 00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:31,567 The beauty of it is every time one of these rides someone new, 274 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,700 my tally expands. 275 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,733 So how's that history? 276 00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:37,667 Pint. 277 00:12:59,000 --> 00:12:59,800 See you. 278 00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:10,500 See you, sexy. 279 00:13:15,467 --> 00:13:16,600 Seems unfair. 280 00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:19,567 I've paid taxes all my life. - No you haven't. 281 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:21,067 Not a farthing, ever. 282 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,500 You're the one the "Daily Mail" warns us about. 283 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:24,300 Chocolate? 284 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,800 Party at yours then, is it? 285 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,533 Got a lot of revising to do. 286 00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:30,633 Lillian wants a passport. 287 00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:33,767 In order to get one, she has to take a citizenship test. 288 00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:35,267 Eh? 289 00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:37,200 She was born abroad, never bothered to get naturalized. 290 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,667 Ay. 291 00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:41,133 And now, she's tossed her right into the passport ring. 292 00:13:41,233 --> 00:13:43,733 If she fails the test, she'll be deported 293 00:13:43,833 --> 00:13:45,433 for being an illegal immigrant. 294 00:13:45,533 --> 00:13:48,567 [laughter] 295 00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:49,467 Come on, Trigger. 296 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,167 Something to say? 297 00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:58,967 No. 298 00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:11,467 [laughter] 299 00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:12,367 Fuck. 300 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,700 Middle name's Finola? 301 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,933 That's not the issue. 302 00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:20,200 Are you totally sure? 303 00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,900 White blood cell count is off the scale. 304 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,167 Red blood cell count is in her boots. 305 00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,267 It's not a good combination, Jackson. 306 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,633 It's not her real name, is it? 307 00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:29,700 Finola. 308 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,333 It sounds more like a pet's name. 309 00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,933 You'll have to tell her. 310 00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:34,467 Get her to a doctor. 311 00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:37,367 A, you're not going to get Patty anywhere near a doctor. 312 00:14:37,467 --> 00:14:40,133 And B, no way am I telling her she's dying. 313 00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:41,267 Patty's dying? 314 00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:43,367 No! 315 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:44,367 Maybe. 316 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,200 We don't know. 317 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,400 Got to tell Aidan. 318 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,433 You want to live till you're 17? 319 00:14:48,533 --> 00:14:49,333 You'll say nothing. 320 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,800 - Where you going? - Town. 321 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:56,167 While she's all grown up and out trying to bag a footballer 322 00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:58,800 and you're playing Doctor Doolittle, I've got a life. 323 00:15:02,433 --> 00:15:05,167 With great knowledge comes great responsibility. 324 00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:06,733 You have to tell her. 325 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,467 Just to get warmed up. 326 00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:22,500 How many parliamentary constituencies are there? 327 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,100 Seven. 328 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,333 Close, 650. 329 00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:29,067 But they'll probably give multiple choice in the test, 330 00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:30,167 so stick in. 331 00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:36,067 What is the difference in the average hourly wage 332 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,033 for men and women? 333 00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:42,333 5, 10, or 20% lower for women? 334 00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:44,033 Higher. 335 00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:45,900 No sweetness, lower. 336 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:46,833 Higher. 337 00:15:46,933 --> 00:15:49,000 It's not a fucking game. 338 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:52,367 I didn't get the question. 339 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:55,133 Simple one. 340 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:59,233 How old was the Queen Mother when she passed away? 341 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:00,067 What? 342 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,700 How old was the Queen Mother-- 343 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,300 The Queen Mother's not dead. 344 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:04,433 Come again? 345 00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:06,967 She stole the show when William married Kate, 346 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,200 with her gin and her horses and all the old men 347 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,067 oiled and sent up to her room. 348 00:16:36,433 --> 00:16:38,433 [buzzer buzzes] 349 00:16:38,533 --> 00:16:39,333 Except Barney. 350 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:42,867 What? 351 00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:47,867 I've shagged everyone in the Chatsworth except Barney. 352 00:16:47,967 --> 00:16:50,533 There's no connections, nothing. 353 00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:52,233 Oh, come on, Frank. 354 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:53,167 Not that he matters. 355 00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,733 There, there, there. 356 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:57,333 You can't win them all. 357 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,933 Take them to the usual place and I'll 358 00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:00,900 be there as soon as I can. 359 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,567 And Benny, tell absolutely no one. 360 00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:05,533 Understand? 361 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,300 Just nipping to the park. 362 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,067 Have fun. 363 00:17:08,167 --> 00:17:09,467 See you in a bit, love. 364 00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,033 We're on. 365 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,100 Be careful. 366 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:46,867 Donnelly, McCann, Turk. 367 00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:49,367 One of you cunts has been in my house, 368 00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:52,600 rifling through my wife's knicker drawer, taking pictures 369 00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:55,567 of my son, my family. 370 00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:59,000 So I want to know who sent you and why? 371 00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,067 Fuck you, Maguire. 372 00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:12,700 Three, two, one. 373 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,067 [yells] Strike one. 374 00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:35,533 Look at him, taunting me. 375 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:38,033 He's a big cocktease right enough. 376 00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:39,667 And you know the worst of it? 377 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:43,500 He fucking loves our deep fried, double bacon burgers. 378 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,933 Can't get enough of it. 379 00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:47,900 He's at my work every fucking day, 380 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,267 reminding me of my one failure. 381 00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:53,100 Failing to fuck him by association 382 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,500 is your biggest failing in life? 383 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,033 My one and only. 384 00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:02,000 [baby crying] 385 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,133 Jesus Christ. 386 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,800 Put them somewhere public, send out a statement. 387 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,933 No problems, boss. 388 00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:14,467 Mum, what's up? 389 00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:16,767 They hit Karen. 390 00:19:16,867 --> 00:19:18,333 I'll be right there. 391 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,767 [buzzer buzzes] 392 00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:29,667 Fuck. 393 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,467 Ready for some questions, chump? 394 00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:41,000 I was born ready. 395 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,933 What do you want for Christmas, lovely? 396 00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:45,200 Michael Jackson tickets. 397 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:47,300 Special guest appearance by? 398 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,600 Whitney. 399 00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:53,300 If money were no object, where would you go on your holidays? 400 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,433 New York. 401 00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,033 Dine at that restaurant on top of them 402 00:19:56,133 --> 00:20:00,233 twin towers, 380 degrees view across Manhattan. 403 00:20:04,067 --> 00:20:05,033 What happened? 404 00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:06,600 She was grabbed in the park. 405 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,867 Slapped her about the face in front of Connor, then 406 00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:12,400 he stuffed this down the front of her shirt. 407 00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:19,167 What's going on? 408 00:20:21,933 --> 00:20:23,633 What the fuck is going on? 409 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,733 This isn't the first threat that's been made. 410 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,700 Well, how many? 411 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:33,633 Eight, maybe. 412 00:20:37,433 --> 00:20:39,467 Who is it? 413 00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:42,267 A I'm out of ideas. 414 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,400 Have you done something to put us at risk? 415 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,300 No. 416 00:20:47,367 --> 00:20:50,133 I am properly scared, Jamie. 417 00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:51,400 How many were there? 418 00:20:54,533 --> 00:20:55,800 I saw one. 419 00:20:55,900 --> 00:20:56,700 Tell him what he said. 420 00:21:01,333 --> 00:21:05,000 That Connor is a legitimate target. 421 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:20,367 They will do a second test, have a consultant examine you. 422 00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:23,967 Things they can do these days. 423 00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:27,333 How many drinks did you have before you could tell me this? 424 00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:29,000 A few. 425 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:30,967 I'm probably wrong. 426 00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:32,633 Have no idea what I'm doing. 427 00:21:32,733 --> 00:21:34,100 No, you'll not be wrong. 428 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,933 There's no mistake. 429 00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:39,167 The leukemia took my mother and her sister, 430 00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:43,500 and my grandfather before them. 431 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:47,167 I knew it would come at some point. 432 00:21:47,267 --> 00:21:48,800 We'll get you to a doctor first thing. 433 00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:51,567 You'll do no such thing. 434 00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:55,033 If I have it, I'll not been spending my last days having 435 00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:59,000 radio waves shot through me. 436 00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:02,600 How far gone do you think I am? 437 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,733 I can't possibly know that. 438 00:22:04,833 --> 00:22:09,267 Yesterday, you thought you were Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. 439 00:22:09,367 --> 00:22:12,733 You saw the results, you must have an idea. 440 00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:23,200 Thank you. 441 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,767 If you'll excuse me, I have things to do. 442 00:22:41,833 --> 00:22:43,100 How is he? 443 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:44,300 He's fine. 444 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,200 Don't even think he knows. 445 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,933 I couldn't bear it if something happened to him. 446 00:22:50,033 --> 00:22:51,233 It won't. 447 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:52,900 Maybe you should leave. 448 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,967 It might be safer. 449 00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:58,567 I'm not going anywhere. 450 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:01,433 Besides, what would we do without each other, eh? 451 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,400 [glass breaking] 452 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,400 What the fuck? 453 00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:29,733 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 454 00:23:29,833 --> 00:23:31,133 Stop it! 455 00:23:31,233 --> 00:23:33,000 This country is brought to its knees by immigrants. 456 00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:34,967 I'm second generation Bradford. 457 00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:37,467 I'm an immigrant. 458 00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:39,200 You're an immigrant. 459 00:23:39,300 --> 00:23:42,267 I'm Irish, God's chosen tribe. 460 00:23:42,367 --> 00:23:44,267 You don't even believe in God. 461 00:23:44,367 --> 00:23:46,500 I believe in Ireland. 462 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,500 Piss off. 463 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,900 [irish music playing] 464 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,500 How cute! 465 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,467 Oh. Boy or girl? 466 00:23:57,567 --> 00:23:59,533 Girl. 467 00:23:59,633 --> 00:24:02,933 That's the ugliest fucking baby I ever saw. 468 00:24:03,033 --> 00:24:05,367 Looks like the Michelin man at an Angel Delight 469 00:24:05,467 --> 00:24:06,767 and took a dump. 470 00:24:06,867 --> 00:24:12,433 [irish music playing] 471 00:24:12,533 --> 00:24:14,300 You. 472 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,400 It is time you embarked on the rest of your life 473 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,733 and stopped dressing and behaving like a Jack 474 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,867 Russell in lipstick and heels. 475 00:24:21,967 --> 00:24:23,200 I beg your pardon? 476 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:25,133 Another couple of years, folk will 477 00:24:25,233 --> 00:24:27,433 start thinking you actually are a transvestite, 478 00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:30,000 rather than merely resembling on. 479 00:24:30,100 --> 00:24:32,400 Who spiked your sherry? 480 00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:35,567 Ah, from Middle Earth comes the dulcet tones 481 00:24:35,667 --> 00:24:37,133 of a Scouse skank unleashed. 482 00:24:37,233 --> 00:24:38,533 Who the fuck do you think you are? 483 00:24:38,633 --> 00:24:39,467 No. 484 00:24:39,567 --> 00:24:41,200 Get back in your box. 485 00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:43,567 You have the face that sank a thousand ships. 486 00:24:43,667 --> 00:24:47,867 No wonder your husband ran off to be with the ladyboys. 487 00:24:47,967 --> 00:24:49,267 As for you-- 488 00:24:49,367 --> 00:24:53,633 Wheelchair or not, I will kick you in the minge. 489 00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,667 That's all one needs to know about you. 490 00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:03,000 It's a tremendous sense of freedom. 491 00:25:20,833 --> 00:25:21,800 All right, Barney. 492 00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:22,933 All right. 493 00:25:23,033 --> 00:25:24,967 Prick tease. 494 00:25:25,067 --> 00:25:26,300 Hey, Barney, wait. 495 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,000 Hold up. 496 00:25:28,100 --> 00:25:30,767 Love the old deep-fried bacon burgers, eh? 497 00:25:30,867 --> 00:25:31,900 Heaven sent. 498 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,967 You know after the breakfast rush, 499 00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:37,167 we toss a whole bunch of them. 500 00:25:37,267 --> 00:25:39,033 You know, they don't want them reheated. 501 00:25:39,133 --> 00:25:40,700 Very big on hygiene and that. 502 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,100 No, I know. 503 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,633 Why don't you come by tomorrow and I'll 504 00:25:44,733 --> 00:25:46,200 put some in your direction? 505 00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:51,000 Save you forking out 3.50 for a pile of old lovely meal. 506 00:25:51,100 --> 00:26:10,400 [mumbling] 507 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:11,900 What's going on? 508 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,233 Emergency review. 509 00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:14,733 Wrong patient's been getting the wrong results. 510 00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:16,300 How many? 511 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,933 I mean, have they found anything? 512 00:26:19,033 --> 00:26:20,300 Don't know. 513 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,967 It's not just those, it's all over the Northwest. 514 00:26:22,067 --> 00:26:23,967 Every hospital, every department. 515 00:26:24,067 --> 00:26:25,200 Oh. 516 00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,033 Well, that's good. 517 00:26:27,133 --> 00:26:28,667 Russian roulette with blood test results, 518 00:26:28,767 --> 00:26:29,733 proper spectator sport. 519 00:26:34,367 --> 00:26:36,267 You sure you should be doing that? 520 00:26:36,367 --> 00:26:38,967 My secrets are going with me. 521 00:26:39,067 --> 00:26:42,100 You little gobshite. 522 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,733 Don't need to be so nasty. 523 00:26:43,833 --> 00:26:47,400 Why on earth not, slutty little whore that you are? 524 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:49,233 [laughter] 525 00:26:49,333 --> 00:26:51,100 AVRIL POWELL (ON PHONE): Blood tests all over the North 526 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,267 will need to be double and triple checked. 527 00:26:53,367 --> 00:26:58,000 Some lab in Durham cutting costs off staff or whatever. 528 00:26:58,100 --> 00:26:59,867 And that's good why? 529 00:26:59,967 --> 00:27:03,567 Every test in Patty's sample, the results were compromised. 530 00:27:03,667 --> 00:27:06,633 She's outside the house now burning stuff. 531 00:27:06,733 --> 00:27:08,667 You have to tell her there's been a mistake. 532 00:27:08,767 --> 00:27:09,800 Yeah, right. 533 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,433 She needs to know. 534 00:27:11,533 --> 00:27:13,033 Please. 535 00:27:13,133 --> 00:27:14,233 Shovel your own shit. 536 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,167 Oi, Reese Witherspoon. 537 00:27:18,267 --> 00:27:19,600 If you're finished with your nails. 538 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:32,500 Is he gone? 539 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,833 Sally will have him till the weekend. 540 00:27:35,933 --> 00:27:38,300 Are you going to be OK? 541 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:39,133 Couple 542 00:27:39,233 --> 00:27:41,167 A couple more possibilities. 543 00:27:41,267 --> 00:27:43,500 I'll have the lads with me. 544 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,667 There's a couple guys downstairs, inside and out. 545 00:27:45,767 --> 00:27:46,567 Everything will be fine. 546 00:27:58,500 --> 00:27:59,333 Out, now. 547 00:28:05,033 --> 00:28:07,633 Is this you? 548 00:28:07,733 --> 00:28:08,867 What is it? 549 00:28:08,967 --> 00:28:09,867 Oh! 550 00:28:09,967 --> 00:28:12,033 Are you threatening my family? 551 00:28:12,133 --> 00:28:12,933 No, I'm not. 552 00:28:13,033 --> 00:28:13,900 Don't be stupid. 553 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,333 Who have you told about us? 554 00:28:15,433 --> 00:28:16,067 No one. 555 00:28:16,167 --> 00:28:17,333 Dominic knew! 556 00:28:17,433 --> 00:28:20,467 That was to save your fucking life. 557 00:28:20,567 --> 00:28:23,333 Would Dominic have told anyone? 558 00:28:23,433 --> 00:28:25,500 He keeps secrets for a living. 559 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,633 What is going on? 560 00:28:28,733 --> 00:28:33,967 [phone rings] 561 00:28:34,067 --> 00:28:34,933 KAREN (ON PHONE): Jamie. 562 00:28:35,033 --> 00:28:36,500 Jamie, I'm sorry. 563 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,300 Karen? 564 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,400 I'll call you at 6:00 PM this evening where 565 00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,700 you know if she's still alive. 566 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:44,633 Jamie? 567 00:28:49,033 --> 00:28:50,067 I'm sorry. 568 00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:58,700 How the fuck? 569 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,333 We didn't know she'd gone out. 570 00:29:00,433 --> 00:29:01,900 But you should have told us. 571 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,967 I might have been able to help. 572 00:29:04,067 --> 00:29:05,267 And don't give me the stare, because I 573 00:29:05,367 --> 00:29:06,467 won't take it off you. 574 00:29:06,567 --> 00:29:08,367 This isn't the time. 575 00:29:08,467 --> 00:29:09,200 What's the plan? 576 00:29:09,300 --> 00:29:11,500 We've nothing to do till 6:00. 577 00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,033 We really don't know anything about these fucks? 578 00:29:14,133 --> 00:29:16,033 All the usual suspects, none of them. 579 00:29:16,133 --> 00:29:17,100 That's what we know. 580 00:29:21,867 --> 00:29:25,633 So first of all, I was dying. 581 00:29:25,733 --> 00:29:26,700 And now, I'm not dying. 582 00:29:29,733 --> 00:29:31,100 I don't know. 583 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,467 They're going to retest your sample. 584 00:29:32,567 --> 00:29:35,233 Chances are, you've just got a virus or something. 585 00:29:35,333 --> 00:29:37,200 I destroyed my possessions and allowed 586 00:29:37,300 --> 00:29:41,333 a bank transfer of all my savings to my idiot daughter. 587 00:29:41,433 --> 00:29:42,533 How is Libby? 588 00:29:42,633 --> 00:29:44,500 She's an idiot, like she always was. 589 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,367 And don't try to distract by feigning 590 00:29:46,467 --> 00:29:48,800 concern what you have done. 591 00:29:48,900 --> 00:29:52,767 There's nothing noble in telling a lie to protect a liar. 592 00:29:52,867 --> 00:29:55,633 I burned my bridges left and right. 593 00:29:55,733 --> 00:30:00,133 Told everyone my true opinion, that they're assholes. 594 00:30:00,233 --> 00:30:02,300 And now, we'll be completely isolated. 595 00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:10,600 We could say I gave you the wrong pills 596 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:11,767 and that you were confused. 597 00:30:11,867 --> 00:30:14,900 Oh, because doolally and old folk 598 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,000 are natural bedfellows, of course. 599 00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:21,467 I think we've heard enough stories from you, 600 00:30:21,567 --> 00:30:22,633 don't you think? 601 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:35,967 You OK? 602 00:30:36,067 --> 00:30:37,067 Getting there. 603 00:30:37,167 --> 00:30:39,000 It's a recognized condition. 604 00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:41,100 Historophobia. 605 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,067 The American Medical Association classifies it 606 00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:44,267 as a proper phobia. 607 00:30:44,367 --> 00:30:46,567 So it's just totally random? 608 00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:47,633 No, no, no. 609 00:30:47,733 --> 00:30:49,567 It's historical fact she can't cope with. 610 00:30:49,667 --> 00:30:51,900 That would upset her, so she just blanks it out. 611 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,600 And pretends that they never happened? 612 00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:55,033 Yeah, pretty much. 613 00:30:55,133 --> 00:30:57,133 Well, then she'd have to rewrite the whole history. 614 00:30:57,233 --> 00:30:58,567 Well, that's what's fascinating, see? 615 00:30:58,667 --> 00:31:02,100 She's created this whole complex narrative in own head. 616 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,767 She lives in a parallel universe. 617 00:31:04,867 --> 00:31:07,400 Well, that would explain a great fucking deal. 618 00:31:14,367 --> 00:31:15,833 Jamie. 619 00:31:15,933 --> 00:31:16,933 Everything all right? 620 00:31:17,033 --> 00:31:18,300 Mind your own business. 621 00:31:34,733 --> 00:31:41,567 [phone ringing] 622 00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:42,633 I want to fucking-- 623 00:31:42,733 --> 00:31:43,733 KAREN (ON PHONE): Jamie, I'm all right. 624 00:31:43,833 --> 00:31:46,000 Tell him to fuck right off. 625 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:47,100 Karen. 626 00:31:51,033 --> 00:31:52,167 ABDUCTOR (ON PHONE): Still here? 627 00:31:52,267 --> 00:31:54,767 Take it your wife's disposable. 628 00:31:54,867 --> 00:31:56,933 Anything but. 629 00:31:57,033 --> 00:31:58,333 She's done nothing. 630 00:32:00,667 --> 00:32:01,300 Take me. 631 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,733 I'll go anywhere, anytime. 632 00:32:07,133 --> 00:32:08,600 Are you still there? 633 00:32:08,700 --> 00:32:10,833 ABDUCTOR (ON PHONE): Tomorrow morning, be in your shitty Merc 634 00:32:10,933 --> 00:32:12,567 on Findhorn Road, 9:00 AM. 635 00:32:12,667 --> 00:32:18,167 No vest, no mates, no pals watching your ass. 636 00:32:18,267 --> 00:32:19,733 Ay. 637 00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:21,633 ABDUCTOR (ON PHONE): And you put me in a lot of trouble, 638 00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:24,367 so make sure you bring 200 Grand with you. 639 00:32:27,967 --> 00:32:29,633 I don't have that kind of money. 640 00:32:29,733 --> 00:32:31,400 ABDUCTOR (ON PHONE): Then I'll kill your wife. 641 00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:37,100 [dial tone] 642 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,600 OK, we'll get a couple of motors, plain but sharp, 643 00:32:39,700 --> 00:32:41,400 you know? Keep a distance. 644 00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:42,667 Too risky. 645 00:32:42,767 --> 00:32:45,167 We'll never collect 200 grand across one night, love. 646 00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:47,133 We could borrow it, but we might as well 647 00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:49,167 paint targets on our backs. 648 00:32:49,267 --> 00:32:51,633 Besides, if it's a choice between you and he-- 649 00:32:51,733 --> 00:32:53,833 Will it stop there? 650 00:32:53,933 --> 00:32:57,733 What if it's you next time, or Cilla? 651 00:32:57,833 --> 00:32:59,033 I've got the money. 652 00:32:59,133 --> 00:33:01,100 You what? 653 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,467 I've got it. 654 00:33:02,567 --> 00:33:06,033 A going away fund, in case of a moonlight flip. 655 00:33:06,133 --> 00:33:09,500 If something happens, take Karen and Connor 656 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,200 and help them start somewhere else, away from here. 657 00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:41,100 Who was Britain's first woman prime minister? 658 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:42,267 Don't be silly. 659 00:33:42,367 --> 00:33:43,500 You can't have a woman prime minister. 660 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,767 Who is the England football manager? 661 00:33:50,867 --> 00:33:52,067 The Italian. 662 00:33:52,167 --> 00:33:54,167 You know, the one that looks like Mrs. Brown. 663 00:33:54,267 --> 00:33:58,233 Look, you fucking mad Afrikaner. 664 00:33:58,333 --> 00:34:00,367 Even if you don't believe it, learn it. 665 00:34:00,467 --> 00:34:03,667 Pass the test or there'll be no passport and no fucking 666 00:34:03,767 --> 00:34:05,400 holiday to Benidorm. 667 00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:08,400 But I love them documentaries. 668 00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:10,933 Just learn it, parrot fashion. 669 00:34:11,033 --> 00:34:13,467 Try not to think. 670 00:34:13,567 --> 00:34:15,667 I'll try. 671 00:34:15,767 --> 00:34:16,767 She's got no chance. 672 00:34:16,867 --> 00:34:18,367 They'll deport her. 673 00:34:18,467 --> 00:34:19,833 Couldn't someone go with her? 674 00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:21,367 KELLY: What, you think they let mates in. 675 00:34:21,467 --> 00:34:24,033 No, but take the test alongside her. 676 00:34:24,133 --> 00:34:25,700 Less intimidating if she had a pal there. 677 00:34:56,367 --> 00:34:57,200 Keys. 678 00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:12,400 Put these on, your own clothes inside. 679 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:13,333 Fuck you. 680 00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:19,300 Wait. 681 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,433 This how you get your kicks, is it? 682 00:35:39,533 --> 00:35:41,600 Stripping men? 683 00:35:41,700 --> 00:35:42,967 Follow the Sat-Nav. 684 00:35:43,067 --> 00:35:44,700 When you get there, leave the money in the car. 685 00:36:01,867 --> 00:36:02,700 GPS NAVIGATOR: Turn right. 686 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,600 Be right with you, two minutes. 687 00:36:13,933 --> 00:36:14,800 Here we go. 688 00:36:14,900 --> 00:36:18,000 It's the one that got away. 689 00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:20,500 Yeah, complete the set. 690 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,467 [moaning] 691 00:36:22,567 --> 00:36:23,267 Frank? 692 00:36:23,367 --> 00:36:26,233 It's not what it looks like. 693 00:36:26,333 --> 00:36:29,067 Oh! 694 00:36:29,167 --> 00:36:30,633 OK, maybe it is. 695 00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:59,567 [ominous music playing] 696 00:36:59,667 --> 00:37:00,467 Hello? 697 00:37:04,567 --> 00:37:06,867 I'm unarmed! 698 00:37:06,967 --> 00:37:08,033 Oh, you fuck! 699 00:37:25,767 --> 00:37:27,633 I'm here. 700 00:37:27,733 --> 00:37:29,200 You've got my money. 701 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:50,867 If I don't get my wife back safe and smiling, you will be found, 702 00:37:50,967 --> 00:37:52,033 you fuck. 703 00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:05,500 Thank fuck, I thought they bluffed me. 704 00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:10,833 You all right, Karen? 705 00:38:10,933 --> 00:38:13,300 I will be. 706 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:14,567 All right, come on, babe. 707 00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:15,833 We need to get out of here, it's not safe. 708 00:38:15,933 --> 00:38:17,133 Nobody's coming, Jamie. 709 00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:23,700 Nobody's coming. 710 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,633 What are you talking about? 711 00:38:26,733 --> 00:38:27,533 Just me. 712 00:38:33,433 --> 00:38:34,933 KAREN'S VOICE ON RECORDING: Still here? 713 00:38:35,033 --> 00:38:37,800 I take it your wife is disposable. 714 00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:39,500 ABDUCTOR'S VOICE ON RECORDING: You're still here? 715 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,500 I take it your wife's disposable. 716 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,633 It's an app. 717 00:38:43,733 --> 00:38:45,700 Any kid can get it for a couple of quid. 718 00:38:52,167 --> 00:38:54,633 You lied to me. 719 00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:59,633 [phone buzzing] 720 00:38:59,733 --> 00:39:01,467 [phone ringing] 721 00:39:01,567 --> 00:39:03,100 - I'll get it. - No, it's all right. 722 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,433 I've got it. Go back to sleep. 723 00:39:08,267 --> 00:39:09,733 JAMIE (ON PHONE): You'd better stay in your hole, 724 00:39:09,833 --> 00:39:11,800 you little fucking prick, because I'll cut your throat 725 00:39:11,900 --> 00:39:15,033 from ear to fucking ear. 726 00:39:15,133 --> 00:39:22,333 The phone calls, the text messages, the pictures. 727 00:39:22,433 --> 00:39:23,967 All me. 728 00:39:24,067 --> 00:39:25,167 JAMIE: The guy in the park? 729 00:39:30,867 --> 00:39:31,767 Me. 730 00:39:31,867 --> 00:39:32,833 There was no guy. 731 00:39:32,933 --> 00:39:33,733 Hi. 732 00:39:36,533 --> 00:39:39,600 I went to great length, because this matters. 733 00:39:39,700 --> 00:39:41,433 Ugh! 734 00:39:41,533 --> 00:39:44,733 This is family. 735 00:39:44,833 --> 00:39:46,100 The kidnapping? 736 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,100 A night in the Marriott, it wasn't too shabby. 737 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,467 Are you off your meds? 738 00:39:50,567 --> 00:39:53,900 No, you cunt. 739 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,667 You fucked Gloria. 740 00:39:56,767 --> 00:39:57,900 You know what? 741 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:58,767 You could have fucked all of Manchester 742 00:39:58,867 --> 00:39:59,733 and I'd of never known. 743 00:39:59,833 --> 00:40:00,633 But you didn't. 744 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:08,867 It was a mistake. 745 00:40:08,967 --> 00:40:12,400 Yeah, too fucking right. 746 00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:13,600 What if I'd left? 747 00:40:13,700 --> 00:40:16,867 Then I'd have known that we don't matter to you. 748 00:40:16,967 --> 00:40:19,267 But we do. 749 00:40:19,367 --> 00:40:21,700 I do. 750 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,733 You stood up for your family. 751 00:40:27,667 --> 00:40:28,467 Good for you. 752 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,867 I'm impressed. 753 00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:38,033 Things will be different. 754 00:40:43,567 --> 00:40:44,733 Now, I'm in charge. 755 00:40:48,333 --> 00:40:50,200 Though only you and I need to know that. 756 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,033 How is that going to work? 757 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,200 Every bit of money comes through me, 758 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:01,833 income and expenditure. 759 00:41:01,933 --> 00:41:03,533 You probably think you can hide some, 760 00:41:03,633 --> 00:41:07,467 like you did with the 200k, but I will know. 761 00:41:07,567 --> 00:41:14,133 And by the way, your going away fund is now my going away fund. 762 00:41:24,767 --> 00:41:26,533 What if it doesn't work? 763 00:41:26,633 --> 00:41:29,300 It will. 764 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,033 You love me. 765 00:41:31,133 --> 00:41:39,500 And despite all your weaknesses, I love you. 766 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:43,167 Now, should anything ever happen to me, my friend in the Ford 767 00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:50,567 has a lot of information on your past and your present. 768 00:41:50,667 --> 00:41:53,100 Who is he? 769 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,500 Every marriage has its secrets. 770 00:42:06,367 --> 00:42:09,167 I know, and I'm sorry-- 771 00:42:09,267 --> 00:42:10,267 I'll be right with you. 772 00:42:13,867 --> 00:42:14,900 Everything all right? 773 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:16,533 These fucking retests. 774 00:42:16,633 --> 00:42:19,833 They want the drug history of the ICU going back a month. 775 00:42:19,933 --> 00:42:21,267 These the false results? 776 00:42:21,367 --> 00:42:24,067 No, the originals, all triple-checked. 777 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:24,967 They're accurate. 778 00:42:25,067 --> 00:42:26,400 Are you sure? 779 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:28,133 It's a good job you're pretty. 780 00:42:42,667 --> 00:42:45,267 This is my final word on it, and I won't keep going on. 781 00:42:45,367 --> 00:42:47,800 But there are reasons governments and corporations 782 00:42:47,900 --> 00:42:49,400 don't pay ransoms. 783 00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:51,700 Now everyone of us is a target, because they 784 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,500 know we'll pay out. 785 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:54,633 Thanks, Mum. 786 00:42:54,733 --> 00:42:56,633 Glad you're not going to keep going on about it. 787 00:42:56,733 --> 00:42:57,533 I won't. 788 00:43:01,133 --> 00:43:02,167 Ay, love. 789 00:43:02,267 --> 00:43:03,133 Now, come on Frankie, it's over. 790 00:43:03,233 --> 00:43:04,533 Leave the man alone now. 791 00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:08,933 Yeah, you're probably right. 792 00:43:09,033 --> 00:43:10,700 Things are better than perfect, you know? 793 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,033 They're not finished. 794 00:43:12,133 --> 00:43:13,300 But will you still get your dole money 795 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,067 now that you've been fired? 796 00:43:15,167 --> 00:43:17,100 I wasn't fired. 797 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,667 Technically, my position fell victim 798 00:43:19,767 --> 00:43:21,567 to internal restructuring. 799 00:43:21,667 --> 00:43:22,533 Oh. 800 00:43:22,633 --> 00:43:24,067 So they didn't want bad publicity? 801 00:43:24,167 --> 00:43:25,667 You know, worker spunks in burger. 802 00:43:25,767 --> 00:43:28,600 For an alcoholic, you're a very astute man. 803 00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:30,500 I'll cheers to that. 804 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,133 Someone's got the love balls in. 805 00:43:32,233 --> 00:43:33,300 I'm official. 806 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,000 Passed her citizenship test. 807 00:43:35,100 --> 00:43:36,967 Stood in the queue, she's all passported up. 808 00:43:37,067 --> 00:43:39,167 Good for you. 809 00:43:39,267 --> 00:43:40,933 What's up with sour puss? 810 00:43:41,033 --> 00:43:42,567 Fucking failed the test. 811 00:43:42,667 --> 00:43:43,733 Seven out of 24. 812 00:43:43,833 --> 00:43:44,933 Come on, Karen. 813 00:43:45,033 --> 00:43:47,833 Save these while I go and see to Cilla. 814 00:43:47,933 --> 00:43:49,200 Tell her. 815 00:43:49,300 --> 00:43:50,600 I can't. 816 00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:52,633 You're dying, you're not dying, you're dying. 817 00:43:52,733 --> 00:43:54,233 It's cruel. 818 00:43:54,333 --> 00:43:56,900 Let this be the end of all that Doctor Dolittle stuff. 819 00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,267 Doctor Dolittle talked to the animals, you fucking asshole. 820 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:06,033 You absolutely loathe me, don't you? 821 00:44:06,133 --> 00:44:07,600 [music playing] It's now or never. 822 00:44:11,067 --> 00:44:18,333 And I try to remember who I used to be. 823 00:44:18,433 --> 00:44:22,867 I got one last chance to get myself together. 824 00:44:22,967 --> 00:44:25,067 My husband has killed a man. 825 00:44:25,167 --> 00:44:28,433 He's a strong man, a violent man. 826 00:44:28,533 --> 00:44:31,267 if need be. 827 00:44:31,367 --> 00:44:38,867 I love my husband, but he lied to me too often, too harshly. 828 00:44:38,967 --> 00:44:41,667 And now, things have altered. 829 00:44:41,767 --> 00:44:43,433 Permanently. 830 00:44:43,533 --> 00:44:46,800 He'd do well to remember, revenge 831 00:44:46,900 --> 00:44:49,467 is a dish best served female. 832 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:57,667 [music playing] 833 00:45:32,867 --> 00:45:34,767 Oh yeah, I've had her. 834 00:45:34,867 --> 00:45:36,200 And her. 835 00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:39,867 Well, I've had her and her. 836 00:45:39,967 --> 00:45:44,467 I've had her and her sister. 837 00:45:44,567 --> 00:45:47,233 Well I've had the mother a night I'd rather forget. 838 00:45:47,333 --> 00:45:51,033 Oh, I've had her when she was married to Terry B. 839 00:45:51,133 --> 00:45:56,433 I had Terry B's second wife with Ollie on top. 840 00:45:56,533 --> 00:45:57,400 Which means-- 841 00:45:57,500 --> 00:45:58,300 I've had-- 842 00:45:58,400 --> 00:45:59,767 BOTH: You!