1 00:00:00,533 --> 00:00:03,167 [music playing] 2 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:05,967 [tapping] 3 00:00:06,067 --> 00:00:08,033 Anyone watching, thinking we know 4 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,333 fuck all about knowing fuck all about 5 00:00:10,433 --> 00:00:12,500 needs to watch their backs! 6 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,167 So you've had your Labor reclassifying 7 00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:17,667 skunk sending prices sky high. 8 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:21,800 Literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots. 9 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,067 Now you've got your condemnation. 10 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:26,767 Get Liberals noshing Torries like altar 11 00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:28,067 boys picking dimps up. 12 00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:31,767 Have we had a national fucking stroke, or what? 13 00:00:31,867 --> 00:00:35,733 Is revolution a word, or was it never? 14 00:00:35,833 --> 00:00:39,600 Anybody watching needs to know we cope better than average 15 00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,300 with irony in Chatsworth. 16 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,900 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester, 17 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,900 and they charge us for water. 18 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,400 I wandered lonely as a cloud, necking mushrooms rarely found. 19 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:56,200 Green and pleasant land and ancient sap and yak yak 20 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,900 yak yak yak yak yak yak yak! 21 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,167 It's not theirs anymore. 22 00:01:02,267 --> 00:01:05,400 This is our England now! 23 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,367 Party! 24 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:09,333 [music playing] 25 00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:15,833 GLORIA (VOICEOVER): Money of itself has no value. 26 00:01:15,933 --> 00:01:18,633 It's just paper. 27 00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:20,700 Can't let it rule your life. 28 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,867 Don't get me wrong. 29 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:24,433 I'd rather be with than without. 30 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:34,200 Heat, shelter, food, luxury items, baubles 31 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:37,500 are not the stuff of life. 32 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:44,600 People are the stuff of life, so long as none get too close. 33 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:48,200 Never close enough to hurt. 34 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:58,033 Money buys independence, self-sufficiency, and I am-- 35 00:01:58,133 --> 00:02:01,400 I must be self-sufficient. 36 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,233 BAND (SINGING): --rock solid and you rock some money. 37 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,700 Shake it, now, now, get 'em off that town. 38 00:02:11,100 --> 00:02:12,133 Fuck are you doing here? 39 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,100 I live here. 40 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,833 The fuck are you doing here? 41 00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:15,733 Oh. 42 00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:22,300 What happened? 43 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,033 You didn't fancy walking home. 44 00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:25,967 Kettle on now? 45 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,333 And see to Cilla for us. 46 00:02:27,433 --> 00:02:28,600 I'm shattered. 47 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:29,967 That's 'cause you been guzzling drink half the night. 48 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,533 Which you never do! 49 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:34,033 I don't even remember leaving the pub. 50 00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:34,967 Oh, fuck it. 51 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,033 You were on good form. 52 00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:37,300 We all were. 53 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,433 That's how we carried it on back here. 54 00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:40,400 We? 55 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,200 Karen came. 56 00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,800 Slept in with Ruby. 57 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:44,733 It was a good night! 58 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:45,800 Kettle's on. 59 00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:46,700 Hey! 60 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:47,933 Don't do half a job. 61 00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,300 Get us a fucking cuppa. 62 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,200 Oh. 63 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:54,900 BILLY: Look at the state of this, eh? 64 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,967 Thought girls were supposed to be tidy, 65 00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,567 not getting all drunk and messy. 66 00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,700 You're not going to be like that, are you? 67 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,933 You're a good girl. 68 00:03:04,033 --> 00:03:08,000 [music playing] 69 00:03:18,967 --> 00:03:21,933 As long as you keep betting, I'll keep taking your money. 70 00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,500 End of the week. 71 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,367 Got a job. 72 00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:26,367 I'm busy. 73 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,133 Can't it wait? 74 00:03:27,233 --> 00:03:28,867 If I wanted it to. 75 00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,000 But I don't. 76 00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,467 Why don't you ask these two? 77 00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:33,500 He's a gangster's apprentice, and I 78 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,200 happen to know he needs a bit of cash 79 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,433 to pay off his gambling debt. 80 00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:40,333 You up to it? 81 00:03:40,433 --> 00:03:41,067 Course. 82 00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,467 It's about time. 83 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:43,267 What's in it for me? 84 00:03:43,367 --> 00:03:45,067 How much do you owe Shane? 85 00:03:45,167 --> 00:03:46,100 40 quid. 86 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,600 Then let's call it 45. 87 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,200 Clear your gambling debts, still enough left over for a bag 88 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,700 of sherbet lemons. 89 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,667 Money. 90 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,767 Address. 91 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,067 Don't come back empty handed, eh? 92 00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:57,067 I won't. 93 00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:58,467 Take Take the Merc. 94 00:03:58,567 --> 00:04:00,767 He doesn't drive if you want to keep your testicles. 95 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:09,133 I need a word. 96 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:12,500 Platypus, part duck, part otter. 97 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,633 I know what it is. 98 00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,133 It's the only egg-laying mammal. 99 00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:16,200 It's a word. 100 00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:22,367 So is it positive or not? 101 00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,867 I can't tell because it's smashed. 102 00:04:23,967 --> 00:04:24,833 And who was-- 103 00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:27,033 BILLY: Your mum, Karen, Gloria. 104 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,500 [moaning] 105 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:33,900 BILLY: It's totally irresponsible if one of them's 106 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,267 up the duff. 107 00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:36,567 JAMIE: So were you and mom trying for another one? 108 00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:40,300 BILLY: Well, it depends what you mean by trying. 109 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,100 I mean are you fucking my mother with the intention 110 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,067 of getting her pregnant? 111 00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:46,167 I've been double bagging lately. 112 00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,500 Course, I been doing a lot of back door first. 113 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,800 Most of the times she's been finishing me off with a blowie. 114 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:52,433 She does swallow, though, so-- 115 00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:55,033 Because swallowing's a big pregnancy risk, is it? 116 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:55,933 Oh, yeah. 117 00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:56,867 Shit. 118 00:04:56,967 --> 00:04:58,333 Could be Karen. 119 00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:01,800 I can't believe your mum wouldn't tell me. 120 00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,467 Hey, bit of luck. 121 00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:04,367 Might be Gloria's. 122 00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:10,700 [music playing] 123 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:15,200 PRIEST: --the word was with God, the word was God. 124 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:17,100 The same was in the beginning with God. 125 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,500 All things were made by him. 126 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,667 Without him was not anything made that was made. 127 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,667 In him was-- 128 00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:27,633 [music playing] 129 00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:36,433 BAND (SINGING): Still falling. 130 00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:38,400 PRIEST: --the darkness has not overcome it. 131 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:41,000 There was a man sent from God whose-- 132 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:47,533 BAND (SINGING): Breathless and on again. 133 00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:51,100 [tires squealing] 134 00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:54,733 BAND (SINGING): Inside-- 135 00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:57,467 I'll ask her to give you a call, rearrange, if that's OK. 136 00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,167 - All right. - I'm sorry about that. 137 00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:00,433 It's all right. OK. 138 00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:01,367 Ta ta now. 139 00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:02,567 See you, yeah. 140 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,133 How many more? 141 00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:09,400 Another two maybe. 142 00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:16,167 I just can't face it today. 143 00:06:16,267 --> 00:06:18,333 If there was anything wrong, you would tell me, 144 00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:20,500 wouldn't you? 145 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:21,867 I'm just hung over. 146 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:23,200 This seems fine. 147 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,900 Not as good as your own, but it'll do for a bit. 148 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,400 Here. 149 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,567 What happened to me own phone? DOMINIC: It's in the bin. 150 00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:31,633 Stinking of cheap lager. 151 00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:33,633 You dropped it in a pint pot last night. 152 00:06:33,733 --> 00:06:36,600 [phone buzzing] 153 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,567 [splash] 154 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,467 Really need to fucking behave. 155 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,700 [phone ringing] 156 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,900 Popular. 157 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,333 GLORIA : Or unpopular. 158 00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:53,233 [dramatic music] 159 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:56,933 For fuck's sake. 160 00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:58,700 You sure you got the right address? 161 00:06:58,800 --> 00:06:59,967 Well, it's not an address. 162 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:00,933 It's a location. 163 00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:02,967 And the sat nav says I have. 164 00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:03,967 Maybe we should just-- 165 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,800 CHESNEY: The paper says wait. 166 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,067 It's freaking me out, this shit, man. 167 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:08,033 It could be a set up. 168 00:07:08,133 --> 00:07:09,500 Could have guns or anything. 169 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,167 Me and you could wake up in a ditch, bullets 170 00:07:11,267 --> 00:07:12,400 in the back of our heads. 171 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,800 Ah, it's a few steaks for a meat raffle. 172 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,100 If it's a few steaks, why have you got 173 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,367 an envelope filled with notes? 174 00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:20,300 He's got a gun! 175 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,867 MAN: This is private land. 176 00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:29,167 Jamie Maguire sent us. 177 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,100 [knocking] 178 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,433 Come. 179 00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:49,300 [music playing] 180 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,433 I'm not quite sure this is what Jamie had in mind. 181 00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:03,833 It's 300 pound of quality beef. 182 00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,133 But it's still whole. 183 00:08:10,967 --> 00:08:13,833 Not for long. 184 00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:17,400 [music playing] 185 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,800 [cow mooing] 186 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,667 Traded Jackson in for a younger model? 187 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,167 Can recommend it if you have. 188 00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,867 He's just a mate from work. 189 00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:36,067 Is he see the one that-- 190 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,800 Uppers to keep himself working, 191 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:39,167 downers to get some sleep. 192 00:08:39,267 --> 00:08:41,033 He's sorting himself out now though. 193 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:43,700 I won't kick him right of bed for dropping crumbs. 194 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,000 You two getting on then? 195 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,200 Behave. 196 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,833 He's just a laugh, that's all. 197 00:08:47,933 --> 00:08:51,333 I'm just going to-- 198 00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:52,600 right. 199 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,933 First of all, we've all popped a few pills in our time, 200 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,200 so don't judge me. 201 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,333 Secondly, if you were 20 years younger, 202 00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:57,833 I'd have you, crumbs or no crumbs. 203 00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:00,767 And as for Mrs. Robinson, well, the night is still young. 204 00:09:00,867 --> 00:09:03,067 Hm hm hm. 205 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,333 Looks like he's hung. Is he hung? 206 00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:07,800 [laughter] 207 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,133 Can I have a beer? 208 00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:11,733 MIMI: Thought we might have a quiet night 209 00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,700 in, just the two of us. 210 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,033 Why? 211 00:09:15,133 --> 00:09:17,500 MIMI: Get an Indian, curl up, watch something. 212 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,633 You got something you want to tell me? 213 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:23,667 That I want to get a takeout and watch a film. 214 00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:26,600 [music playing] 215 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:31,133 [voices on television] 216 00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:33,967 Are you-- 217 00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:34,967 What? 218 00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:38,000 --putting on a bit of weight? 219 00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,867 Why would you ask any woman a question like that? 220 00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,233 I'm just saying. 221 00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:44,700 Well, that's like me just saying, not to worry, 222 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,867 size really doesn't matter. 223 00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,367 JAMIE: I wasn't having a go. 224 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:50,900 I just thought maybe you'd skipped a period, that's all. 225 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,333 No. 226 00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:56,500 I had my period last week, remember? 227 00:09:56,600 --> 00:10:00,167 You did that thing. 228 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,533 Oh. 229 00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:02,867 Of course. 230 00:10:02,967 --> 00:10:05,000 Just after you did that other thing. 231 00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,100 Yes. 232 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,967 Well, can't eat that now, can I? 233 00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,033 Size isn't really an issue, is it? 234 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,067 MIMI: Hi ya, love. 235 00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,167 Any sign of your Shane? 236 00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:21,667 He was in this morning. 237 00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,033 Tried his moby? 238 00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:23,967 Straight to voicemail. 239 00:10:24,067 --> 00:10:25,700 Never showed today. 240 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,867 Don't bring me in it. 241 00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:29,300 She was on an early. 242 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,333 Been here since she finished? 243 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:33,867 Been cackling all afternoon. 244 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,267 Do you know him? 245 00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:37,000 A mate from her work. 246 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,067 Nice kid. 247 00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:40,967 More man than boy. 248 00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:42,667 Behave. 249 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,533 [laughter] 250 00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:51,567 Feeling rough? 251 00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:52,833 Come in. 252 00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:53,767 Please. 253 00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:55,033 Make yourself at home. 254 00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:56,900 Is it mine? 255 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000 How could you be so stupid? 256 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,600 For fuck's sake, I need to know what you're going to do. 257 00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,500 Do you have any idea what this could do to Karen? 258 00:11:08,867 --> 00:11:10,400 Well, last thing on my mind right 259 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:15,167 now is how your wife may or may not react to what 260 00:11:15,267 --> 00:11:16,533 I might have to tell her. 261 00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:25,567 Please. 262 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:27,567 I need to know. 263 00:11:27,667 --> 00:11:31,100 [music playing] 264 00:11:47,233 --> 00:11:51,267 [phone buzzing and ringing] 265 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,567 Gloria, your phone. 266 00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,900 Either answer it or change the ring tone. 267 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,067 It's been doing me head in all day. 268 00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:02,067 I'm busy. 269 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:04,633 [phone buzzing and ringing] 270 00:12:04,733 --> 00:12:05,567 Insistent, aren't they? 271 00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,233 Is it a fellow? 272 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:08,600 I wish. 273 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:09,667 Look, just tell me. 274 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:10,567 Is everything OK? 275 00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:11,967 You stop asking me that! 276 00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,700 It's getting on me nerves. 277 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,200 [phone ringing and buzzing] 278 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,500 DOMINIC: Yeah, hang on a minute. 279 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,467 She's here. 280 00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:25,467 [music playing] 281 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,933 Jack and the beanstalk, is it, this year? 282 00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,333 My favorite panto. 283 00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:35,667 I don't know how you do it, though. 284 00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:37,000 It'd play havoc with my back. 285 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,367 What are you on about? 286 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,433 The back end, bend double, eight shows a week. 287 00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:45,433 Who decides who's up front and behind? 288 00:12:45,533 --> 00:12:47,867 Certainly lifelike. 289 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,067 Pace yourself, you started early. 290 00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:53,133 [music playing] 291 00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:57,033 [cow mooing] 292 00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:02,533 I took out a loan about nine weeks ago. 293 00:13:02,633 --> 00:13:05,333 But you've got about five credit cards already. 294 00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:07,533 Which is why I needed a loan. 295 00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:13,967 It was all legit upfront. 296 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:16,300 Applied online, payday loan company. 297 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,433 How much did you borrow? 298 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:19,433 1,200. 299 00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:20,833 I thought these companies are supposed 300 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,100 to limit how much you can have. 301 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,133 Not my first time. 302 00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:27,733 Used my credit cards to make the payments. 303 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:30,700 If you ever did any tiding, you'd have noticed this. 304 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,567 I've kind of run out of options. 305 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:44,533 Jesus, Gloria. 306 00:13:44,633 --> 00:13:45,733 4300% APR? 307 00:13:45,833 --> 00:13:47,500 GLORIA : Yeah, but you can't count it like that. 308 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,067 If you pay it back when you're supposed to-- 309 00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,933 Have you paid anything back? 310 00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:54,200 And it's them that are constantly calling you? 311 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,833 40 missed calls yesterday. 312 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:57,867 You borrowed 1,200 quid nine weeks ago. 313 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,567 How much do you owe now? 314 00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:05,333 Five grand and counting. 315 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,200 WOMAN: What's that? 316 00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,467 A cow. 317 00:14:17,567 --> 00:14:19,200 Feel free to elaborate. 318 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,600 We'll get it shifted as soon as we've 319 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,967 got somewhere to shift it to. 320 00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:24,333 His name's Allen. 321 00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:25,900 Allen. 322 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,567 Allen the cow? 323 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,033 You do know cows are girls? 324 00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:30,967 Tell me about it. 325 00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,467 [snickering] 326 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,600 CHESNEY: Jamie sent us to get it. 327 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:35,800 Is this for the meat raffle? 328 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:37,767 CHESNEY: Sh! 329 00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:40,000 Well, it's not as if she can understand me, is it? 330 00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,733 Well, animals can sense things. 331 00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:42,900 Yeah. 332 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,200 Dogs know when earthquakes are coming. 333 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,467 So Allen was supposed to be-- 334 00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,333 I couldn't do it. 335 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,033 I mean, look at her eyes! 336 00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:56,733 Allen's grown on us. 337 00:14:56,833 --> 00:14:58,333 A cracking old personality. 338 00:14:58,433 --> 00:15:00,233 Well, no wonder you couldn't kill her. 339 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,867 You should never give you dinner a name. 340 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,200 Can you keep quiet about it? 341 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,433 As long as you can do the same with her. 342 00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:09,233 I don't want waking up in the wee small hours 343 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,700 when she's mooing to be milked. 344 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,100 Look at her udders! 345 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,733 They're nearly exploding already. 346 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:18,667 [cow mooing] 347 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,000 Fuck! 348 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,667 BOTH: You're doing it. - No, you're doing it. 349 00:15:23,767 --> 00:15:24,633 No, you're doing it. 350 00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:26,367 You're doing it. 351 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,900 DOMINIC: You should have just told me. 352 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,400 You could have asked them to freeze it, 353 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,933 give you a chance to catch up. 354 00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:33,167 They say that the worst thing you can do is to ignore it. 355 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,500 GLORIA : Well, that might be what they say 356 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,333 when Ann Robinson phones up, but reality 357 00:15:36,433 --> 00:15:37,700 is a little bit different. 358 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:45,067 How the fuck am I going to raise 5,000 pounds, Dom? 359 00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,433 How long have you got? 360 00:15:46,533 --> 00:15:47,967 Two days. 361 00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:48,900 Shit. 362 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,100 Gloria. 363 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,467 Why did you leave it till the last minute? 364 00:15:52,567 --> 00:15:54,133 Because if I told you, you'd say "why did you 365 00:15:54,233 --> 00:15:55,833 leave it till the last minute?" 366 00:15:55,933 --> 00:15:58,567 All right. 367 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:04,567 I'll put the feelers out, see if I can call in some favors. 368 00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:05,800 Five grand's worth? 369 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,733 DOMINIC: I'm still a priest. 370 00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:14,367 I have the power of guilt. 371 00:16:14,467 --> 00:16:18,767 [music playing] 372 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,700 [phone ringing] 373 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,233 [music playing] 374 00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:39,833 Shane would know. 375 00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:41,967 Just tug it a bit harder! 376 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:43,400 I don't want to hurt her. 377 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,533 I'm scared of pulling it off. 378 00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:45,800 Here, try a different hand action! 379 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,400 You try a different hand action! 380 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:48,333 I can't touch it! 381 00:16:48,433 --> 00:16:49,100 I'm a Muslim. 382 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,700 It's Hindus with cows. 383 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,367 Well, can't you, like, just-- 384 00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:56,033 I am not wanking a cow off. 385 00:16:56,133 --> 00:16:58,000 It's tits, not a cock! 386 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,433 Listen, she's called Allen. 387 00:16:59,533 --> 00:17:01,967 I am not wanking off anyone called Allen. 388 00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:05,433 [music playing] 389 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,633 Doesn't bother you? 390 00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:12,967 No, why would it? 391 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:14,467 Power to your elbow. 392 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,433 Can I have a glass of water, please, babes? 393 00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:18,967 I was just saying to your fellow, a lot of men 394 00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,967 would be intimidated. 395 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,867 She's always been a total fag hag. 396 00:17:22,967 --> 00:17:24,000 Doesn't bother me. 397 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:25,567 What's that got to do with anything? 398 00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:26,767 I don't mind the gays. 399 00:17:26,867 --> 00:17:27,867 I'm cool with it. 400 00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:29,400 Two points. 401 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,067 Firstly, you better fucking be all right with "the gays." 402 00:17:31,167 --> 00:17:33,067 Secondly, Callum's not one of them. 403 00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:34,200 Yes, he is. 404 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,700 WOMEN: No, he's not. 405 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,633 Look at the way he dresses! 406 00:17:38,733 --> 00:17:39,700 He's a nice dresser. 407 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,633 Yeah, but his hair. 408 00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:45,100 And he definitely moisturizes. 409 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,967 Doesn't make him gay. 410 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,600 Soft skin ain't no bad thing for the ladies. 411 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:52,467 I can't be dealing with stubble rash on the insides of me 412 00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:53,400 thighs. 413 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,300 Mimi. 414 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:57,900 Need a word, mate. 415 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,100 About? 416 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,800 Your pregnant sister. 417 00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:04,333 [music playing] 418 00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:17,633 Hi, Jamie. 419 00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:20,467 Yes, mate. 420 00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,000 Do you know what she's going to do? 421 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:23,967 I can't believe she didn't tell me. 422 00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:27,200 I mean, she normally tells me everything. 423 00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,700 This could fuck everything up. 424 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,133 I take it you won't be putting a notice in "The Manchester 425 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:34,033 Evening News" announcing your paternity, because it's 426 00:18:34,133 --> 00:18:36,633 all about you, isn't it, Jamie? 427 00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:38,600 Karen can't find out. 428 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,600 Oh, yes she can. 429 00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:41,733 There's only words exchanged. 430 00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:43,233 Can't see our Gloria telling her. 431 00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:44,767 You weren't exactly the love of your life. 432 00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:45,667 How did she put it? 433 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:46,900 You were just a fuck. 434 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:47,800 That's all. 435 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,000 Find out what she's going to do. 436 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:53,967 What? 437 00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,033 Run back here and tell you? 438 00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:57,833 Why would I do that? 439 00:18:57,933 --> 00:19:01,433 [dramatic music] 440 00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:16,000 [cow mooing] 441 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:32,367 [dog barking] 442 00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:45,767 MIMI: What are you doing? 443 00:19:45,867 --> 00:19:46,667 Where's the condoms? 444 00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:47,900 I flushed them. 445 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,833 You never normally flush them. 446 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,867 You normally tell me to do it. 447 00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:53,033 You were asleep. 448 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,567 They were on the floor. 449 00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:57,400 I didn't want Cilla toddling in and picking them up, did I? 450 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,333 You all right? 451 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:04,667 Are you trying to trick me into getting you pregnant? 452 00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:06,267 What? 453 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:08,300 Are you saving up my sponk from the condoms 454 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,900 and pouring it into yourself while I'm sleeping? 455 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 You're behaving really weird. 456 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:16,400 Because clearly you're the rational one? 457 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,467 Just so's you know, squishing jizz out of condoms 458 00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,300 has never been top of my to do list. 459 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,500 Are you trying to get pregnant? 460 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,733 Don't be soft. 461 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,300 I've got a hard on now. 462 00:20:37,167 --> 00:20:38,067 Come on. 463 00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:40,200 [laughs] 464 00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:45,933 [music playing] 465 00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:50,033 [phone buzzing and ringing] 466 00:21:01,633 --> 00:21:04,167 This barging's in getting a bit old, isn't it? 467 00:21:04,267 --> 00:21:07,167 Yeah, well, extenuating circumstances. 468 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,967 Dominic's upstairs. 469 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:12,067 I've just passed him on his way to mass. 470 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:13,600 Creature of habit, your brother. 471 00:21:19,767 --> 00:21:21,467 I made some inquiries. 472 00:21:21,567 --> 00:21:23,667 Thought you might want to get out of town. 473 00:21:23,767 --> 00:21:25,800 So there's more than enough there for hotel and travel 474 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:27,967 if you need it. 475 00:21:28,067 --> 00:21:30,100 The fee seems pretty consistent clinic to clinic. 476 00:21:33,367 --> 00:21:37,033 Please don't take any chances. 477 00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:38,767 Go somewhere decent where they'll look after you. 478 00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:45,033 Your concern is touching. 479 00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:46,733 Seem to have it all worked out. 480 00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:47,900 I'm just trying to help. 481 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,033 There's six grand there. 482 00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:50,967 If you need any more, just ask. 483 00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:52,533 I'll be sure to do that. 484 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,500 Do you need me to come with you? 485 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:10,667 I think it'd be better all around if you just fuck off. 486 00:22:10,767 --> 00:22:14,200 [music playing] 487 00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:21,733 It's only a matter of time before someone 488 00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:23,700 lets slip to Jamie that there's a cow on the estate. 489 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,167 Well, do yourself a favor, mate, don't ever Google 490 00:22:26,267 --> 00:22:27,533 "milking" on the internet. 491 00:22:27,633 --> 00:22:29,233 You know, it won't come back the way you thought. 492 00:22:29,333 --> 00:22:31,533 I saw one on YouTube, said you have to be quite firm with-- 493 00:22:31,633 --> 00:22:33,567 [cow mooing] 494 00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:34,500 --teats. 495 00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:39,367 I was telling Lillian about Allen, 496 00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:41,133 and she said there's always someone 497 00:22:41,233 --> 00:22:43,833 somewhere willing to pay over the odds to get off on it, 498 00:22:43,933 --> 00:22:45,700 and she was right. 499 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,133 Meet Eric. 500 00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:49,633 By day, planning officer from Rochdale. 501 00:22:49,733 --> 00:22:51,600 By might, Heidi fetishist. 502 00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:52,533 Heidi. 503 00:22:55,433 --> 00:22:56,300 Yes, Helmut. 504 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,700 ERIC: I have finished the milking. 505 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:58,700 May I go, mutter? 506 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,667 [inaudible] 507 00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:06,133 You can keep all the milk. 508 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,400 [spitting] 509 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:13,400 It's warm. 510 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,567 It's a fucking bodily fluid, dickhead. 511 00:23:15,667 --> 00:23:17,233 [cow mooing] 512 00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:18,767 DOMINIC: I don't care if it's legal, 513 00:23:18,867 --> 00:23:20,567 what you do is a disgrace. 514 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:23,867 Legalized loan sharking. 515 00:23:23,967 --> 00:23:26,733 Please, just call me back when you hear this message. 516 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,600 Right. 517 00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:37,433 We have one day to get hold of five grand. 518 00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:38,667 Miracles happen. 519 00:23:38,767 --> 00:23:40,300 Think we deserve one. 520 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,533 I have some friends in very low places. 521 00:23:43,633 --> 00:23:44,467 You try not to worry. 522 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Think of the baby. 523 00:23:53,233 --> 00:23:54,400 He told you? 524 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:56,000 Yeah. 525 00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,900 why Didn't you? 526 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,400 Because I'm not. 527 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:03,100 What? 528 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,500 Why did he say you are? 529 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,700 Because he's just an arrogant bastard who decided to do all 530 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,367 the talking and no listening. 531 00:24:11,467 --> 00:24:13,600 Gloria, I could have told you that. 532 00:24:17,067 --> 00:24:18,067 You should let him know. 533 00:24:19,567 --> 00:24:21,433 I will. 534 00:24:21,533 --> 00:24:25,000 [music playing] 535 00:24:43,767 --> 00:24:46,567 Call you back. 536 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:48,367 That's supposed to be in portions at the bottom 537 00:24:48,467 --> 00:24:50,200 of the freezer by now. - And it will be. 538 00:24:50,300 --> 00:24:51,467 We're just doing a spot of marketing. 539 00:24:51,567 --> 00:24:52,633 CHESNEY: Yeah, letting people see 540 00:24:52,733 --> 00:24:54,033 what they'll get if they win. 541 00:24:54,133 --> 00:24:55,133 A free pint of milk for every strip of tickets sold. 542 00:24:55,233 --> 00:24:56,433 Pretty enterprising. 543 00:24:56,533 --> 00:24:58,667 If I'd known you weren't up to it, Ches, 544 00:24:58,767 --> 00:25:00,067 I wouldn't have wasted my time. 545 00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:01,433 I'm up to it. 546 00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:04,867 KAREN: I've told them if that thing shits in here, 547 00:25:04,967 --> 00:25:06,333 I'm not cleaning it up. 548 00:25:06,433 --> 00:25:08,067 It's good for the roses. 549 00:25:08,167 --> 00:25:09,700 Not so good for the carpet. 550 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,533 JAMIE: Right I'm off for a piss. 551 00:25:11,633 --> 00:25:13,267 If that thing's here when I come back, 552 00:25:13,367 --> 00:25:15,900 I'm going to personally stick your heads up its fucking ass! 553 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:16,800 There's no need. 554 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,900 Mimi's not pregnant. 555 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,500 Stand any closer, I'm worried I may be. 556 00:25:33,133 --> 00:25:37,667 It's not Karen either, so we're in the clear. 557 00:25:37,767 --> 00:25:40,100 Happy days. 558 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,967 BILLY: Are you not going to wash your hands? 559 00:25:43,067 --> 00:25:45,067 I just make sure not to piss on my fingers. 560 00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:47,533 All right there. 561 00:25:47,633 --> 00:25:48,533 No, I understand, yeah. 562 00:25:48,633 --> 00:25:52,267 Thanks for trying anyway. 563 00:25:52,367 --> 00:25:54,267 Everything all right? 564 00:25:54,367 --> 00:25:56,600 I never realized how many fair-weather friends I had. 565 00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:58,133 You know, when they had me on parish, 566 00:25:58,233 --> 00:26:00,000 they were tripping over themselves to help me out. 567 00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:03,967 Well, welcome to the real world. 568 00:26:04,067 --> 00:26:07,300 If there's anything I can do. 569 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,833 Now you're offering me favors? 570 00:26:09,933 --> 00:26:10,767 Trading favors. 571 00:26:16,633 --> 00:26:17,433 Yeah, Charlie. 572 00:26:17,533 --> 00:26:18,633 It's Dom. 573 00:26:18,733 --> 00:26:21,533 Look, uh, I need to earn some money pretty quickly. 574 00:26:21,633 --> 00:26:22,467 Yeah. 575 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,467 No, it's good. 576 00:26:30,967 --> 00:26:35,033 [music playing] 577 00:27:00,867 --> 00:27:04,333 [rustling] 578 00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:14,233 How many tickets, Gloria? 579 00:27:14,333 --> 00:27:15,200 Sorry? 580 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,467 Meat raffle at the Jockey tomorrow. 581 00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:22,533 Five quid a ticket could get you 50 quid of meat. 582 00:27:22,633 --> 00:27:24,033 That's a dairy cow, boys. 583 00:27:26,667 --> 00:27:28,500 It's not bred for meat. 584 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,033 It'll taste like feet. 585 00:27:30,133 --> 00:27:31,400 Jamie never said ought. 586 00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:33,633 GLORIA: Well, maybe he was getting you enough rope. 587 00:27:33,733 --> 00:27:35,533 [gag] 588 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,600 What are we going to do? 589 00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:42,200 Well, we only have to sell it, not eat it. 590 00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:43,833 Tastes like feet, fuck it. 591 00:27:43,933 --> 00:27:45,433 Got fuck all to do with us. 592 00:27:45,533 --> 00:27:46,833 Come on, Allen. 593 00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:48,000 Come on, Allen. 594 00:27:52,900 --> 00:27:56,167 Everything all right? 595 00:27:56,267 --> 00:27:57,767 What, you're keeping it? - I'm not pregnant. 596 00:27:57,867 --> 00:27:58,667 I never was. 597 00:27:58,767 --> 00:27:59,633 Why did you lie? 598 00:27:59,733 --> 00:28:00,567 Was it a scam? 599 00:28:00,667 --> 00:28:02,467 Fuck you. 600 00:28:02,567 --> 00:28:03,967 I never lied. 601 00:28:04,067 --> 00:28:05,200 You told me-- 602 00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:07,300 I told you nothing. 603 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,367 You're the one who barged into my home 604 00:28:09,467 --> 00:28:11,667 full of presumptions like a big alpha male 605 00:28:11,767 --> 00:28:12,967 and came to your own conclusions. 606 00:28:13,067 --> 00:28:14,833 Yeah, well, you could have contradicted me. 607 00:28:14,933 --> 00:28:17,067 It's not my job to tell an idiot when he's being an idiot. 608 00:28:17,167 --> 00:28:19,533 I've better things to do with my time. 609 00:28:19,633 --> 00:28:21,200 Oh, but I tell you what was interesting, 610 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:23,500 though, seeing how you would have reacted 611 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,200 had I been pregnant. 612 00:28:25,300 --> 00:28:27,500 Oh, don't worry your pretty little head. 613 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,467 Leave it to the men. 614 00:28:29,567 --> 00:28:30,467 It wasn't like that. 615 00:28:30,567 --> 00:28:32,133 What was it like? 616 00:28:32,233 --> 00:28:34,733 A woman I cared very much about who now decides to avoid 617 00:28:34,833 --> 00:28:39,267 me like the plague may have been pregnant with my child 618 00:28:39,367 --> 00:28:42,767 but was choosing to hide it from me. 619 00:28:42,867 --> 00:28:44,333 That's what it was like. 620 00:28:48,833 --> 00:28:50,733 Go back to Karen. 621 00:28:50,833 --> 00:28:53,133 Play happy families. 622 00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:58,133 I don't need you or your money. 623 00:28:58,233 --> 00:29:01,700 [music playing] 624 00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:06,733 Tighten that. 625 00:29:06,833 --> 00:29:08,400 Are you sure about this, Father? 626 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:10,200 Circuit training's one thing, but 627 00:29:10,300 --> 00:29:12,067 fighting's totally different. 628 00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,533 Yeah, I'm sure, Charlie. 629 00:29:13,633 --> 00:29:15,800 You really are desperate, aren't you? 630 00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:17,167 I am that. 631 00:29:17,267 --> 00:29:18,967 CHARLIE: When was the last time you ran further 632 00:29:19,067 --> 00:29:20,933 than the length of yourself? 633 00:29:21,033 --> 00:29:22,933 DOMINIC: I got a great tolerance for pain. 634 00:29:23,033 --> 00:29:25,900 And everyone's in with a punching chance. 635 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:26,833 Five grand, yeah? 636 00:29:26,933 --> 00:29:27,833 I've laid bets. 637 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:29,567 If you win, you'll clear five. 638 00:29:29,667 --> 00:29:31,867 Honestly, who is this guy? 639 00:29:31,967 --> 00:29:32,867 How good is he? 640 00:29:32,967 --> 00:29:34,500 Good enough to give long odds. 641 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,100 Have you put a bet on me, Charlie? 642 00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:40,867 I'm not a betting man, Father. 643 00:29:40,967 --> 00:29:41,800 OK. 644 00:29:43,867 --> 00:29:46,167 [punches] 645 00:29:46,267 --> 00:29:50,333 [OPERA MUSIC AND MUTED CROWD SOUNDS] 646 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:54,900 Go on, Father. 647 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,100 You can do this. 648 00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,667 [inaudible] 649 00:29:59,767 --> 00:30:01,067 Now, you can do this. 650 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:02,500 [inaudible] 651 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,200 [OPERA MUSIC AND MUTED CROWD SOUNDS] 652 00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:14,000 Come on. 653 00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:17,567 [opera music] 654 00:30:20,633 --> 00:30:21,533 Oh, fuck. 655 00:30:25,067 --> 00:30:26,367 Half when you're ready, Mimi. 656 00:30:26,467 --> 00:30:31,000 Lover boy's practically a regular now. 657 00:30:31,100 --> 00:30:32,700 Two nights on the trot, eh? 658 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:33,967 You only live once, babe. 659 00:30:34,067 --> 00:30:35,900 We're clubbing later if you're up for it. 660 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,233 Some other time, maybe. Cheers. 661 00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:38,767 Come on, you're your own boss, aren't you? 662 00:30:38,867 --> 00:30:40,000 Who's going to put you up? 663 00:30:40,100 --> 00:30:41,500 Me In Avril have been there, done that. 664 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,167 Probably while you were still in nappies. 665 00:30:43,267 --> 00:30:44,200 CALLUM: That's what I'm saying! 666 00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:45,833 Recapture your youth. 667 00:30:45,933 --> 00:30:49,467 Take no for an answer, mate. 668 00:30:49,567 --> 00:30:50,300 I might go. 669 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,033 Another granny night, is it? 670 00:30:52,133 --> 00:30:54,300 MIMI: [clearing throat] 671 00:30:55,233 --> 00:30:58,633 I'm going to shoot some pool. 672 00:30:58,733 --> 00:31:01,067 CALLUM: No offense, but he's a fucking idiot. 673 00:31:01,167 --> 00:31:04,233 He can be, but it's not your place to say. 674 00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:05,967 CALLUM: You still coming? 675 00:31:06,067 --> 00:31:09,800 You better believe it. 676 00:31:09,900 --> 00:31:10,700 CALLUM: 1, 2, 3. 677 00:31:13,567 --> 00:31:15,500 AIDAN: What's this? 678 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,333 Sirloin. 679 00:31:18,433 --> 00:31:20,200 I think. 680 00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:21,300 That's definitely sirloin. 681 00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:26,100 I don't know why we just didn't 682 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:27,900 do this in the first place. 683 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,367 Because it costs over 400 quid of my money. 684 00:31:31,467 --> 00:31:34,700 [music playing] 685 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,000 [cow mooing] 686 00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,000 Stay back, Allen! 687 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:43,933 You don't want to see this. 688 00:31:44,033 --> 00:31:45,467 [cow mooing] 689 00:31:45,567 --> 00:31:46,400 What about this? 690 00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:47,633 Outside. 691 00:31:47,733 --> 00:31:49,633 BAND (SINGING): Can you-- can you give me 692 00:31:49,733 --> 00:31:52,200 [inaudible] from my first glass sizzle, 693 00:31:52,300 --> 00:31:55,767 and give it to you [inaudible] the first track, 694 00:31:55,867 --> 00:31:57,167 hold you like a microplane. 695 00:31:57,267 --> 00:32:00,300 You know how to work it, babe. 696 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,133 [inaudible] 697 00:32:01,233 --> 00:32:02,967 Girl, make you play. 698 00:32:03,067 --> 00:32:09,100 Holiday in coming at me like a [inaudible] flow, [inaudible] 699 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,067 from the [inaudible]. 700 00:32:11,167 --> 00:32:15,633 And [inaudible] ah ah ah ah, [inaudible].. 701 00:32:15,733 --> 00:32:17,600 Slip and-- slip and slide. 702 00:32:19,533 --> 00:32:22,000 BAND (SINGING): --and that one felt like a circle, 703 00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:26,567 like a wheel, never-ending. 704 00:32:26,667 --> 00:32:29,367 [inaudible] 705 00:32:29,467 --> 00:32:32,600 She's hardly going to hear her phone in a club, is she? 706 00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:33,800 I wasn't phoning her. 707 00:32:33,900 --> 00:32:35,033 KAREN: What's with the macho bollocks? 708 00:32:35,133 --> 00:32:37,600 That going to keep your wife happy, is it? 709 00:32:37,700 --> 00:32:38,600 I'm so tough. 710 00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:39,500 Just don't care. 711 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:40,633 I care. 712 00:32:40,733 --> 00:32:41,900 KAREN: She fancied a bit of fun. 713 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,733 Hey, you remember fun, don't you, Jackson? 714 00:32:43,833 --> 00:32:45,233 We have a good time. 715 00:32:45,333 --> 00:32:48,300 Is that before or after you called her an ugly old crow? 716 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,767 I never called her that. 717 00:32:49,867 --> 00:32:51,033 No. 718 00:32:51,133 --> 00:32:54,067 "Grab-a-Granny" was the phrase, wasn't it? 719 00:32:54,167 --> 00:32:55,967 I can look after me own marriage, thanks. 720 00:32:56,067 --> 00:32:57,333 Course you can. 721 00:33:00,933 --> 00:33:01,733 DOMINIC: Gloria? 722 00:33:01,833 --> 00:33:04,200 Know 723 00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:06,200 If you're pissed, Dominic, just go straight up. 724 00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:07,300 I'm not in the mood. 725 00:33:12,633 --> 00:33:14,267 Jesus Christ, Dominic. 726 00:33:14,367 --> 00:33:15,200 I'm fine. 727 00:33:18,067 --> 00:33:20,067 It's not as bad as it looks. 728 00:33:22,933 --> 00:33:25,833 But I couldn't get the money, sis. 729 00:33:25,933 --> 00:33:26,767 I'm sorry. 730 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,367 GLORIA: This has gone too far. 731 00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:33,333 It's got to end. 732 00:33:33,433 --> 00:33:36,600 [crying] 733 00:33:39,933 --> 00:33:41,300 Best night I've had in a decade. 734 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,067 Stop it! 735 00:33:42,167 --> 00:33:43,667 You'll make me sad. 736 00:33:43,767 --> 00:33:47,633 Chief cook and bottle washer, that's my role. 737 00:33:47,733 --> 00:33:49,467 Mother and wife. 738 00:33:49,567 --> 00:33:50,600 Come here. 739 00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:53,900 You're not my mother, and you're not my wife. 740 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,033 [smooch] 741 00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:02,467 [music playing] 742 00:34:03,467 --> 00:34:05,767 Fuck. 743 00:34:05,867 --> 00:34:06,733 I know. 744 00:34:06,833 --> 00:34:07,733 I'm sorry. 745 00:34:12,767 --> 00:34:16,633 [music playing] 746 00:34:27,767 --> 00:34:31,667 [moaning] 747 00:35:03,533 --> 00:35:04,333 I'm sorry. 748 00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:12,333 Been a bit of a dickhead. 749 00:35:12,433 --> 00:35:13,333 I know. 750 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:22,700 Coming up? 751 00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:30,067 Yeah. 752 00:35:30,167 --> 00:35:34,200 [music playing] 753 00:36:11,933 --> 00:36:13,167 What you doing? 754 00:36:13,267 --> 00:36:14,300 Stretching a muscle. 755 00:36:16,867 --> 00:36:20,800 I don't know whether I'm coming or going or coming. 756 00:36:20,900 --> 00:36:23,200 What's fucking eating you now? 757 00:36:30,267 --> 00:36:33,067 Tell me this isn't yours. 758 00:36:33,167 --> 00:36:35,200 Fuck sake, there goes me erection. 759 00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:45,600 [music playing] 760 00:37:11,033 --> 00:37:15,333 - [inaudible] - Fuck him. 761 00:37:15,433 --> 00:37:16,500 Look at him. 762 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,467 Give me [inaudible]. 763 00:37:18,567 --> 00:37:19,833 What the fuck? 764 00:37:19,933 --> 00:37:21,367 Fuck off! 765 00:37:21,467 --> 00:37:23,167 Fuck off! 766 00:37:23,267 --> 00:37:25,600 [interposing voices] 767 00:37:25,700 --> 00:37:27,333 Oy, pack it in and fuck off! 768 00:37:27,433 --> 00:37:28,333 Leg it. 769 00:37:31,133 --> 00:37:33,567 Yeah. Yeah, all right, mate. 770 00:37:33,667 --> 00:37:34,467 Yeah. 771 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,300 What the fuck's happened to you? 772 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,867 Slipped on a banana skin. 773 00:37:44,967 --> 00:37:47,967 I need a favor. 774 00:37:48,067 --> 00:37:52,033 [music playing] 775 00:37:54,733 --> 00:37:58,500 She got herself in a mess on these short term loans. 776 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,033 It's out of control. 777 00:38:00,133 --> 00:38:03,200 We've tried everything. 778 00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:08,567 She now thinks that the only thing she can do is to go. 779 00:38:08,667 --> 00:38:12,267 I wouldn't ask if it wasn't desperate. 780 00:38:12,367 --> 00:38:15,800 If she goes, Jamie, she won't come back. 781 00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:19,167 That might suit me. 782 00:38:19,267 --> 00:38:20,267 You know that isn't true. 783 00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:29,433 One condition. 784 00:38:29,533 --> 00:38:33,967 She never finds out it came from me. 785 00:38:34,067 --> 00:38:36,467 I want your word on that, Dom. - Of course. 786 00:38:40,767 --> 00:38:43,067 Right. 787 00:38:43,167 --> 00:38:45,033 I'll catch you up. I have business. 788 00:38:49,967 --> 00:38:51,533 Thank you. 789 00:38:51,633 --> 00:38:52,700 I'm so grateful. 790 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,167 It was nothing. 791 00:38:55,267 --> 00:38:56,467 I've got folk waiting for me. 792 00:38:56,567 --> 00:38:57,500 Uh, I'm sorry. 793 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,367 At least stay for a cup of tea? 794 00:39:02,233 --> 00:39:05,600 [music playing] 795 00:39:07,067 --> 00:39:10,467 Yeah, it's mine. 796 00:39:10,567 --> 00:39:13,500 You lied to me. 797 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:14,567 I admitted the truth. 798 00:39:14,667 --> 00:39:15,700 That's different. 799 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,500 Only in the dictionary. 800 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,200 I didn't know if I was or I wasn't. 801 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:25,333 My stage in life, your periods might not be 802 00:39:25,433 --> 00:39:26,767 as regular as they used to be. 803 00:39:29,633 --> 00:39:32,133 Then I got to thinking about it and kind of liked the idea. 804 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,167 Should have consulted me. 805 00:39:37,267 --> 00:39:38,933 Yeah, I should have. 806 00:39:39,033 --> 00:39:42,767 But I didn't want to raise any false alarms. 807 00:39:42,867 --> 00:39:43,667 And looking stupid. 808 00:39:49,900 --> 00:39:51,733 Are you pregnant? 809 00:39:56,167 --> 00:39:58,867 No, I'm not. 810 00:39:58,967 --> 00:40:00,767 I'm just some stupid old woman who thought 811 00:40:00,867 --> 00:40:01,767 she might have got lucky. 812 00:40:07,767 --> 00:40:11,067 You can have my sponk anytime you want, you know. 813 00:40:11,167 --> 00:40:14,700 I've got a fucking bucket load. 814 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,267 Oh, thanks, love. 815 00:40:21,133 --> 00:40:24,167 [zippers] 816 00:40:29,467 --> 00:40:31,933 That's what our life amounts to these days, does it? 817 00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:33,867 Carry on luggage? 818 00:40:33,967 --> 00:40:37,100 All the rest is just stuff. 819 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:42,133 Look, I'm sorry about this, Dominic. 820 00:40:42,233 --> 00:40:47,000 I really appreciate all your help. 821 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:48,100 Your debt's cleared. 822 00:40:50,933 --> 00:40:52,767 How? 823 00:40:52,867 --> 00:40:54,533 Friend. 824 00:40:54,633 --> 00:40:56,500 Your phone should stop ringing now. 825 00:40:59,967 --> 00:41:02,900 How are we going to pay it back? 826 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,000 Slowly. 827 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,400 [laughs] 828 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:12,333 Oh. 829 00:41:15,667 --> 00:41:16,933 Special occasion? 830 00:41:17,033 --> 00:41:18,167 Yeah, I'm out with me wife. 831 00:41:18,267 --> 00:41:19,833 You're overdoing it. 832 00:41:19,933 --> 00:41:21,200 It's a pit puky. 833 00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:23,100 KAREN: Yeah, you're trying a bit too hard. 834 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:24,433 Can't win for losing. 835 00:41:27,567 --> 00:41:29,000 You all right? 836 00:41:29,100 --> 00:41:30,167 Something's changed. 837 00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:35,200 What can I get you? 838 00:41:35,300 --> 00:41:37,333 GLORIA: A large gin and tonic, and-- 839 00:41:37,433 --> 00:41:39,500 I'll have a single of your finest malt. 840 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,833 GLORIA: Double single malt, please. 841 00:41:41,933 --> 00:41:43,733 KAREN: What's he done, then? 842 00:41:43,833 --> 00:41:46,533 Oh, he's just been a good brother. 843 00:41:46,633 --> 00:41:50,100 [music playing] 844 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,100 [cheers] 845 00:41:56,967 --> 00:42:00,400 Right, and 5 and 4. 846 00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:01,400 54. 847 00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:02,800 House! 848 00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:06,000 [cheers] 849 00:42:06,867 --> 00:42:08,733 This is yours, is it? 850 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:16,267 MIMI: Lucky for someone, 13! 851 00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:17,000 Yeah! 852 00:42:17,100 --> 00:42:18,333 Yeah! 853 00:42:18,433 --> 00:42:21,433 [cheers] 854 00:42:25,533 --> 00:42:27,167 Oh, I can't wait to see her face 855 00:42:27,267 --> 00:42:28,667 when she's running free again. 856 00:42:28,767 --> 00:42:29,933 Except she doesn't really run. 857 00:42:30,033 --> 00:42:31,000 More like waddles. 858 00:42:31,100 --> 00:42:32,700 You sure they have to take her? 859 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,200 It's a fucking petting zoo. 860 00:42:34,300 --> 00:42:35,900 What are they going to do, kick her out? 861 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000 Make this all a big issue? 862 00:42:39,633 --> 00:42:41,700 Where is she? 863 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,300 Never mind where, how? 864 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,567 What, she was tied in a triple knot! 865 00:42:45,667 --> 00:42:48,333 How did she open the door? 866 00:42:48,433 --> 00:42:49,267 Allen! 867 00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:50,000 Allen! 868 00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:51,233 [inaudible] 869 00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:52,167 BAND (SINGING): Ain't no sunshine when-- 870 00:42:52,267 --> 00:42:53,333 - Allen! - Allen! 871 00:42:53,433 --> 00:42:55,733 Allen! 872 00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:57,300 Allen! 873 00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:58,733 Allen! 874 00:42:58,833 --> 00:43:01,300 Allen! 875 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:02,500 Come back! 876 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,100 BAND (SINGING): Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, 877 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:05,267 and she's always-- 878 00:43:05,367 --> 00:43:06,567 Allen! 879 00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:10,667 BAND (SINGING): --gone too long, anytime she goes away. 880 00:43:10,767 --> 00:43:12,300 Are you serious? 881 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,233 Allen! 882 00:43:13,333 --> 00:43:14,067 Allen! 883 00:43:14,167 --> 00:43:15,633 - Allen! - Allen! 884 00:43:15,733 --> 00:43:17,033 Allen! Allen! 885 00:43:17,133 --> 00:43:18,333 Allen, where are you? 886 00:43:18,433 --> 00:43:22,033 BAND (SINGING): It's not warm when she's away. 887 00:43:22,133 --> 00:43:25,000 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and she's-- 888 00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:26,567 She's gone, bro. 889 00:43:26,667 --> 00:43:29,133 BAND (SINGING): --always gone too long anytime she goes away. 890 00:43:35,067 --> 00:43:37,933 It's all right. 891 00:43:38,033 --> 00:43:41,100 [clattering] 892 00:43:45,033 --> 00:43:47,833 Was it you? 893 00:43:47,933 --> 00:43:50,533 Was what me? 894 00:43:50,633 --> 00:43:52,300 No more games, please. 895 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,367 I don't know what you're talking about. 896 00:43:54,467 --> 00:43:55,133 OK. 897 00:43:55,233 --> 00:43:57,133 So it wasn't you. 898 00:43:57,233 --> 00:43:58,600 All the same, thank you. 899 00:44:04,967 --> 00:44:07,100 You're welcome. 900 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,567 [romantic music] 901 00:44:13,867 --> 00:44:14,700 I didn't want you to leave. 902 00:44:22,300 --> 00:44:23,500 I didn't want to not see you again. 903 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,000 BAND (SINGING): I don't know about our dreams. 904 00:44:33,300 --> 00:44:38,367 I don't know about our dreaming anymore. 905 00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:44,033 All that I know is I'm falling, falling falling, falling. 906 00:44:47,433 --> 00:44:50,167 GLORIA (VOICEOVER): People are the stuff of life. 907 00:44:50,267 --> 00:44:53,500 People have real worth, real value. 908 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,667 BAND (SINGING): I don't know about my love. 909 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:03,067 I don't know about my loving anymore. 910 00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:04,200 GLORIA (VOICEOVER): So long as none 911 00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:07,167 ever get close enough to hurt. 912 00:45:07,267 --> 00:45:09,133 BAND (SINGING): What is love for? 913 00:45:09,233 --> 00:45:10,767 GLORIA (VOICEOVER): Because no amount of money 914 00:45:10,867 --> 00:45:14,033 can ever protect you from that. 915 00:45:14,133 --> 00:45:17,600 BAND (SINGING): How does one fall in? 916 00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:21,600 [theme music] 917 00:45:58,967 --> 00:46:01,467 [squeaking] 918 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,667 You must be the one they call Terry the Terrapin. 919 00:46:08,767 --> 00:46:09,967 I've heard speak of you. 920 00:46:10,067 --> 00:46:12,200 And what do they say of me, Allen the Cow? 921 00:46:12,300 --> 00:46:14,767 That you survived many months in the pocket of one who's 922 00:46:14,867 --> 00:46:16,867 soaked in piss and alcohol. 923 00:46:16,967 --> 00:46:18,033 This is true. 924 00:46:18,133 --> 00:46:19,600 And that you have evolved and taken 925 00:46:19,700 --> 00:46:23,900 on the characteristics of the one they call Frank Gallagher. 926 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,267 This also is true. 927 00:46:26,367 --> 00:46:28,667 We We have much to learn from you. 928 00:46:28,767 --> 00:46:30,767 Got any drugs?