Anyone watching thinking we know
fuck all about knowing fuck all about
needs to watch their backs.
So you've had your Labour reclassifying scum,
sending prices sky high.
Literally, literally, taking the grass from its own roots.
Now you got your condemnation.
Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dim sum.
Have we had a national fucking stroke or what?
Is revolution a word?
Or was it never?
Anybody watching needs to know we cope better than average
with the irony in Chatsworth.
Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester,
and then charge us for water.
I wandered lonely as a cloud, necking mushrooms rarely found.
This green and pleasant land and ancients are yak yak yak yak.
It's not theirs anymore.
This is our England now.
Party!
60 seconds a minute, 60 minutes
in an hour, 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week,
4 weeks in a month, and 1,000 months in a lifetime.
MALE: Dead man walking.
That's all, if you look here.
MALE: Dead man walking.
Boom.
Tick them off on the calendar, counting down one by one.
One life to squeeze in all the fucking
and fighting and drinking and loving and living you can.
Hiya, sweet cheeks.
MALE: Dead man walking.
But they won't let you live.
They want to smother you.
To damn you, condemn you to fucking work.
1,000 measly months constitutes a life,
and they sentence you to employment.
Me?
Employment?
Dead man walking.
Given your lifetime of inactivity,
under the new government guidelines,
I now have no license whatsoever to label you unfit for work
anymore.
Feigning mental illness won't work either, Mr. Gallagher.
It's immoral, thrown to the lions.
It's going cold.
I loved my first job.
Cutie little parlor maid in a big house up O'Connell Street.
Prissy uniform.
The master used to tamper with me after mass on Sunday
while his wife delivered scarves to the poor house.
You mean, there's one last job for the school leavers?
The job he's going to get isn't one you'll want to do.
Yeah, because there's going to be loads of them about.
Going to give us two packs of the green papers, small ones.
You're putting away a lot of weed, aren't ya?
Skins are Mimi's, OK?
Because she knows buying the makes me feel like a tramp.
And it's guaranteed to wet the spot quicker.
Oh, in a Mike Tyson and foreplay kind of way, yeah?
There's your stuff.
You feel drowsy, fine, your money back.
Don't know what you're missing, love.
You'll come round.
You've got to stop fucking with the formula.
You see, that, right there, that's
the difference between us.
We should be looking to leave a legacy, create a work of art.
How do you think all the time this liquors were invented, eh?
John [inaudible].
One fine day, there will be a pint of lager and a Shane
and Jackson, please?
A Shane and Jackson?
Yeah, we'll create a design classic,
like snake bite and black, sex on the beach, black in time.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why not a Jackson and Shane?
- Alphabetical. - No, it's not.
Uh, vowels.
I've got an A in mine.
Well, I've got both, A and E. Where's the marmite?
Oh, fucking hell.
Oh, here we go.
Al Capone with another crate of Absolute piss.
Oh, fucking comedian.
Fucking hell.
It's even worse than the last lot.
Told you.
You need patience to get it right, mate.
What?
Are you going to sit there all day,
and fucking drip, drip, drip, drip.
I will.
I can't hurt doing that, can I?
It's no place for a Mommy's boy.
Is it such a chore spending time together?
Of course not, it's just stretch my legs now and then.
We don't need anyone else.
I say we do.
What if I cover all his wages?
Sounds good to me.
Billy, you're on.
Really?
MIMI: Be careful out there.
Yes.
Thanks, Mom.
Hey.
Psst.
What are you in for, sweetheart?
Fuck off.
I'm wrongly convicted.
MIMI: We're all wrongly convicted.
The system's got it in for us.
hey, Don't lump me in with you.
I'm a political prisoner, [inaudible] casualty.
Coalition of the dickless iggle piggle [inaudible] of the last
[inaudible] of the liberal pie.
Not an idea or a sexual organ between them.
I'm different.
MIMI: We're all different.
I think you know it.
It's over.
You're finished.
I'll be free any day.
There's only one way out of here, mucker.
[inaudible].
Fire.
Mr. Gallagher?
You find anything interesting today?
Yeah plenty, you know, it's just a man in my condition.
Isn't the measure of a civilized society
how well it looks after its raspberries.
Compared to most of the world we provide exemplary care.
But how can anyone be 100%?
Except you're deemed fully fit.
Empathy and understanding, new government guidelines.
How we gently nurture the long term
unemployed back to the workplace.
You're now my personal mission, and I'm your champion.
Just sign there, Francis.
This is to say you're fit for work.
Frank?
Why won't you sign?
You will not defeat me.
I will not be defeated.
You cannot contain me.
I am Frank Gallagher.
I am a free man.
No touching.
[inaudible].
Well, not enough.
Look, these are the wash and ready for the still.
Vodka. Rum.
Molasses with a MacGuire twist of cinnamon,
cloves, and ginger.
The barrels are the volume, the basics
where [inaudible] most of the Reddy's,
but these, my fucking babies.
What's in there?
Oak chips.
Ethyl nitrate, lactose concentrate,
yeast enzymes, additives.
Collection commences between 110 and 115 degrees,
so keep an eye on the temperature
and burn a sample every other hour.
But basically, all we need you for
is to stir or shake that every hour,
and froth these babies harder than you [inaudible],,
all of them every two hours.
No problemo.
Nectar.
Not bad.
Yeah, well, drink more than a thimbleful
at this stage and your liver will shrivel like a walnut.
You gonna be all right?
Yeah, man.
Oh.
Fuck.
Ow.
I'll take double this time.
Not happening, Patty.
Get to fond of these, and before you know it,
you'll be clucking like some desperate junky.
Like it could ever come to that.
Next thing, you'll be giving noshes
for a tenner in Molly Range.
Gents to be a fine thing, I'd pay them.
But if you just give me double now,
then if I know I have some in stock,
it saves coming here as much, you
know, in case you're not home.
One week's worth, and when they're gone, I'll be here.
You give Sylvia Staples twice as much as me.
She won't see Christmas.
The reason I pass the post.
I've got the constitution of an ox.
Mad cow if you don't watch it.
Glass of water?
Thank you.
Melt those stresses away like a bath of [inaudible] milk.
I'm keeping an eye on you.
I've never seen that old bird in such good spirits.
Hey, One Direction, got a proposition for ya.
Luck day, me [inaudible].
- Forget it, Frank. - What?
Come on, where's your business instincts?
Protecting me from you.
It's not just money, you know, it's just produce,
skunk, resin, Mary Jane.
Lay some on me.
I'll pay you tomorrow.
After you've smoked it?
No chance.
No, I'm going to sell it, honest.
Oh, come on, Escobar started somewhere.
Oh, fuck the lot of you then.
I'm dropping out.
Dropping out of what?
You're not even a part of anything.
I'm going to live off the grid.
Steal things in the street?
No.
Self-sustenance.
You know, solar panels, grow some spuds,
chickens for free eggs, wind turbines in the garden.
Sell the extra leccy back to the rapists who
should never have earned out to it's
privatized in the first place.
[laughing]
Off the grid?
You?
What choice do I have?
I am not built to comply.
I cannot force me soul to wage slavery [inaudible]..
Same as everyone else.
Exactly my fucking point.
You're all dead from the neck up.
Slabs of meat serving the great gods profits and progress.
Oh, yeah, yeah, go on.
Laugh it up.
Maybe pull out your night stick and your gun
so you don't have to think for yourself.
That's why they give them you.
You'll submit.
Everyone does.
Yes.
Keep the flesh obedient, performing,
but scour out the man, the very soul.
That's your loss, not mine.
Anything to avoid taking responsibility, eh?
Any straw you can clutch.
I will leave here, survive on my wits.
On your wits?
You almost had me going there.
Your wits.
I am a survivor.
I am renegade.
[MUSIC - THOMAS DOLBY, "SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE"]
It's poetry in motion.
She turned her tender eyes to me.
As deep as any ocean, as sweet as any harmony.
But she blinded me with science.
She blinded me with science, and failed me in biology.
When I'm dancing close to her.
Science.
I can smell the--
Frank.
That was our tea.
How does living off the grid translate
as taking what you want?
Well, [inaudible], Kelly.
When is a potato ever grown under concrete flags?
So dig them up.
I'm on to it.
Irish smacker's lending me a shovel.
He's taking the piss.
And a glass of wine.
I'll fix him.
This is fucking illegal.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
All the more reason to keep it fucking down then.
[cellphone ringing]
Sh.
[inaudible] Polish Club.
Could be a biggie.
Ziggy.
[french]
Good to hear from you.
With stress levels that high, no wonder this is piss.
Tell me about it.
[inaudible]?
My own recipe.
Not bad.
Fuck me, that's tasty.
[inaudible]
Well?
Said he tasted worse.
Understand?
Don't deserve it anyway.
What about this?
Which one's this?
Probably use the blend for a few more days
before we put it in the still.
I told you not to touch anything.
I'm glad he did.
This is mint.
It's fennel, actually, with a bit of basil and nutmeg.
Totally useless bitch [inaudible]..
Oh, fuck.
What are you thinking of?
This shite's poison.
Keep it out of reach then.
I'm a 21st century man.
I'm not designed to live off of the land.
And whatever happened to green belts?
I can't eat me own young.
I'm not a Scotsman or a Scouser.
I'm a fucking blue, a league champion.
Welcome to Manchester.
What doesn't kill you.
I'll absolve you for a favor.
I'd rather be grounded.
Oh, well, get your own then.
Yeah, right.
It's a really easy favor.
I'd pay you, handsomely.
Marty. Come on, I'm hungry.
Marty.
Fuck you all then.
I promise you, honestly.
Booze for Buttons are definitely interested.
The bird was all over me.
I'm outside Off Your Box now.
All right.
Spare any change, mate?
Frank?
By name and nature only grill and griddle.
A pound will do, or, you know, buy us a can of the good stuff.
Jesus, Frank.
Come on.
Give me your hand.
- Later, guys. - See ya.
Behave.
Don't think you're trying anything on.
Don't flatter yourself.
I got [inaudible].
I just dropped my pen.
Why didn't you just ask?
Her and Dad think I'm stupid.
Are they for you or Patty?
Patty.
It costs.
That's all she give me.
Dead man walking.
You're shit.
Not capable.
MIMI: You're condemned, just like everybody else.
Leave me alone.
Valiant effort.
But you can't stand in the way of progress.
Sentence will be carried out.
There's nothing you can do.
Oh, yes, there fucking is.
At least your happy. - Wait.
You on disability?
We know there's something coming in.
You sure this isn't easier?
Oh, less pain, but less effective.
Because they can stitch an Achilles,
tie all sorts of cartilage together,
have you fully functioning in under a year.
But shattering your kneecap fucks you right up.
Guaranteed to leave a limp.
So it goes through, back of the knee.
How we took care of joyriders back home.
When you're--
What is it?
Who was hit? - She missed.
How could she fucking miss?
She's passed out.
Where is it?
[inaudible].
No.
No, Frank.
Get off, Frank.
[crying]
So glad to see you.
Dead man walking.
Oh.
I could nip that all day.
Sarsaparilla's an aphrodisiac for birds.
Mixed with a bit of ginseng.
Is your nose extra strong?
Just hypersensitive.
Got it bad for being a freak as infant.
I kept crying every time this fat [inaudible]
walked in the room.
Soon learned to keep quiet though.
Does ever Finn smell clearer?
Tesco lemon and oil shampoo, Dove Natural for Men body
wash, Gillette sandalwood shaving gel, Blinks Temptation
deodorant, [inaudible] aftershave, a Clean Ice
White Toothpaste, clothes washed in Purcell
[inaudible] Freshener.
Shirt, two days ago.
Jeans, yesterday.
It's all right most of the time.
Just breathe through my mouth.
Gets a bit tricky, though, 'cause
Mimi loves getting plated.
Well, [inaudible] Polish Club are
back on, [inaudible] Ukrainian Institute,
and Hillbane's Irish.
Now all we need to do is work out percentages.
If I take my bottle away, you two's back to selling piss,
aren't ya?
As much as you can supply.
Every punter in Manchester is going to come by.
That's it.
Tell them it's all gone.
Do you have to sell to anyone else?
Hey, don't get greedy.
It's all right.
There'll be plenty to go around.
You've brewed liquid gold.
I knew you'd [inaudible].
Here.
Deposit on 20 crates.
And me.
Whoa.
Ain't fair, Shane.
If it wasn't for Billy, these would
be pissing [inaudible] instead of hanging out of each other.
Especially this [inaudible].
Ew.
What you playing at?
I ain't showing the world what filth is living under my roof.
Where'd she get them?
That's my washing, you--
[inaudible] in China when [inaudible] undies.
Do you know how much these cost?
Oh, because I regularly buy such garments.
Oh.
Get your poisoned talons off me because I
know where they've been.
Now, you're in it together.
Three of you.
See, hear, speak no evil.
Think you can run [inaudible] on me.
What the fuck's wrong with her?
Phone a doctor.
Tell him she's taken the lot.
Shit.
I'm only interested in your well-being
and getting you a job.
50 positions are being created with the expansion
of Poundswick Hospital.
It's natural to be nervous, so we'll practice.
Not often we get fish fingers as a request.
Folk normally aim higher.
Yeah, well, soundtrack of my young, Captain Birdseye.
Old man with hands [inaudible] beckoning kids to follow him.
He'd be outted by [inaudible] these days, stoned to death
next to a pediatrician.
Besides, it is not my last meal.
I'm outta here.
I thought you'd given in to the inevitable?
Fuck all's inevitable, Sparky.
Governor's on his way down.
I'm on a last minute reprieve.
On what grounds?
On the grounds that you cannot keep a good man down.
The policy has not yet been devised, the prison not
yet built that can contain me.
What the fuck are you two dressed like?
[inaudible]
Only a few cockles.
Shit job anyway.
Vanilla pod.
Shane, caramelize some sugar.
Forget it.
Normal brown sugar will do.
I'll get it.
Getting there?
More anise seed.
We're out.
Oh, [inaudible].
I'm on it.
Why don't Shane go?
Try one more fucking word.
Come on.
Bit of fresh air will do you good.
I'd burn your houses down, you [inaudible]
and [inaudible] shite.
Where we going?
Nowhere.
If you don't get me out of here 10 seconds flat.
It's for your own good.
It's what?
Ah, I might have known.
I'll have you for false imprisonment and kidnap.
There's plenty of this.
Minerals and natural sustenance.
There's bedpans, blankets, and lots of water.
You're going to be thirsty, and what's more,
there's no getting out.
You're locked in.
Do your boss know you're no better than some low life
street corner drug dealer?
Don't listen to threats.
Don't listen to or pay any attention to any promises,
and do not believe a word that comes out of her mouth
for the next 48 hours.
Aidan?
I'll buy you those new Airmax you want,
the Darren Brown ones.
Don't even look in her eyes.
We'll get you nightly season tickets,
and go to Spain for the weekend.
Fuck off, Avril.
[hissing]
Steal one more tablet, and you're next.
Your grounding only starts once you've
helped her get through this.
Give us a hand.
Get me out.
Inside.
Now.
PATTY: There's a law against imprisonment in this country.
You know it's a criminal offense.
Mr. Governor, bags are packed and ready to fucking roll.
I'm sorry, Mr. Gallagher, it's an election year.
A Chinese election.
Times are hard.
Every man must face his responsibilities.
No reprieves, no exceptions.
This is not how the story ends for me.
[inaudible] to you, fish fingers was your last meal.
No, man, I'm telling you.
Shut up.
Billy, Shane, and Jackson?
It's not cool enough.
It's got too many syllables.
Why is my name always last?
Especially if you order it with lemonade.
How are you going to order that if you're pissed.
[scream]
Arctic roll dripping in tinned pear juice.
I tried.
I really tried.
It's just--
Circumstances conspiring against you?
Exactly.
Circumstances.
I am not fucking wired the way they want.
It's a miscarriage of justice.
My fucking ball sack.
There are no unique circumstances or conspiracies.
You sabotage it for yourself.
Every opportunity, every time.
The only thing that stops you from standing up and being
counted is your victim complex.
Poor little fucking me.
What the fuck's this?
Tag team [inaudible]?
I cannot be a wage slave.
Why everybody else and not you?
I'm doing my best.
I know you are.
It's just proving more difficult than I imagined.
Listen Frank, if this one goes wrong,
there's nothing more I can do.
The state will cut you off.
No benefits ever again.
It's your last chance, Frank.
I wish I could tell you scrub up.
Time to make your peace, Frank.
I'm an atheist.
You sure?
There's no harm in hedging your bets.
Frank?
It's a miracle any of you walked away.
I still say you should have gone to the Hossie
to get checked out.
He should have gone last night.
You all right, love?
I'm not sure we need such a big team.
Come on, Billy, Shane brought you into the game.
This little prick [inaudible].
He's a liability.
I could have died in there.
Excuse me.
If you didn't have the music so fucking loud,
you'd have heard it to blow, wouldn't ya?
Yeah, you [inaudible], we did.
Oh, so you're now on his team now, are ya?
Just saying.
I want 70%.
Fuck off.
Good morning, my darling.
I feel great, and there's no need
to keep a little, harmless old lady locked up anymore.
Forgot my earplugs.
I never told you.
I heard from your mom.
Don't listen to her.
Shut your mouth.
She's been thinking about you.
La la la la.
Seriously, she and your dad are getting back together.
They want to be a family again.
You know she's lying.
Out of order.
What's it got to do with you, you little fucking slag?
Aidan!
Come back here, you motherless piece of shit.
No wonder she leave.
Fuck you.
He wouldn't have been able to do it without you,
but it's his recipe, and we all want more.
Come on.
Billy, we sorted it.
No hard feelings?
No.
No hard feelings.
Shane.
I fucking knew it.
Oh my baby.
What have they said?
Can you smell that?
Does it look like it?
Stays on for 48 hours.
48 hours?
Let's get you home, love.
Shit.
You're joking.
The world has changed these last half dozen years, Frank.
Everyone of us must bear the burden.
Not me.
Half the [inaudible] bankrupt, it's below the poverty line.
The easy life is over.
The baby boomers spent it all.
They didn't spend mine.
I am not meant to graft and pay bills and save pennies
and dole my life out in drips and drabs
from a fucking pipette.
Why?
Because it is fucking dull.
Because I am better than that.
Some people are born to obey, I was born to think,
dream, indulge, absorb.
So you are better than the working man?
Of course, I fucking am.
See.
Look.
Frank, you're a snob.
Let them scurry around.
I will not.
The tide is coming in whether you like it or not.
It's time.
That clock's slow.
Oh, shut it, Lillian.
His health's more important than your punters are, [inaudible]..
We wait no less than the 48 hours.
How's it feeling, mate?
Still pretty numb.
Is it working?
Fucking hell.
A bit, yeah.
- Deodorant. - Links.
Scent.
Temptation.
Cool metal.
At least he got the brand right.
He knows I was wearing it before.
Talk to me.
Hey.
Wait.
I think there's talc.
Powder?
I think so.
Johnson's use baby powder.
Vagisil.
This clown's lost it.
Satisfied?
You remember the recipe though?
What?
Billy?
You remember or it's working.
Fresh air.
In here?
I can smell fresh air.
I don't have to breathe from my mouth anymore.
Now you're really in for a treat.
Hey, fucking hell.
Dead man walking.
Knock them dead.
Good luck, Frank.
Dead man walking.
Any chance at the last minute, you know, turn a blind eye?
Life is over, Frank.
I am sorry.
Ready?
Take aim.
Any last words?
Would-- would you like fries with that?
What?
Would you like fries with that?
Oh.
Sorry.
Sorry, mate.
Who's Wesley?
You must be joking?
My sentiments exactly.
However--
Late again, first verbal.
For fuck sake, how is it my fault if two fat parcels got
stuck in the door to the 105.
Bad language on the premises?
That is your first verbal.
Are you taking a piss? Come on, mate.
We'll never attain that relationship.
I don't like you.
What?
I don't want you working here.
You swear again, written warning.
I'll be happy to see the back of you before you begin.
Darren, would you eat a burger made with these?
Show Cat Weasel his locker, get him scrubbed,
then let him loose on the toilets.
Wesley, your hashbrowns are ready.
Well, box them up then.
Come on, take him [inaudible].
Back to normal?
Of course.
She will be by now.
And you think any of this was really necessary?
Don't play games, Patty.
I was always in control.
What?
You don't remember the things you said?
I told you that wouldn't be the real Patty, didn't I?
Sounded real enough to me.
I remember asking to be let out.
Kelly's knickers?
What about them?
Nothing about Aidan's mom?
Have you heard from her?
Never again, Patty.
What are they on about?
You know I'd never hurt a fly.
Look, lot of fuss about nothing.
Look, push me to [inaudible],, we can do with some sherry.
That's a worthwhile sight.
You reckon?
I'm proud of you.
You're a natural.
What?
At cleaning shit?
Work hard, you'll have your face up there in no time.
Coffee, please?
Another success story.
Cheers.
[cheering]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pint of lager.
And would you like to go large with that?
Showing your face at last?
So what's it like in the land of the straight goer?
Yes, boss. No, boss.
Anything else, boss?
Who you gonna shag at the Christmas [inaudible]??
There's nothing like a hard-earned pint.
Don't forget we're all free up here.
They can never crush the spirit.
Thank you, Uncle Frank.
Well, how long can you rage against the machine?
Against the dying of the light?
No man can live entirely alone, isolated.
Maybe two centuries ago, but not now.
The long arm of progress of the law is all pervasive.
So what to do?
Do we all finally conform?
Submit?
Do we fuck?
You bring the fuckers down from the inside.
Let them think what they want, and just when they least expect
it, we the people will rise.
Not that I'm one of you, you uneducated twats,
but you get the gist.
There's more than one way to skin a society.
[theme music]
The only thing a smell test is going to prove
is that you can't tell shite from sugar.
Ready?
Uh-huh.
A little hint of vanilla maybe?
Go on.
Dash of lime.
Ready for the next.
Oh, fuck me.
That's yeasty.
Very good.
Barley Tell me cabbage.
Nailed it.
Like a fucking sniffer dog.