1 00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:08,067 FRANK: Now, nobody's saying that Chatsworth Estate is the Garden 2 00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:12,200 of Eden, but it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank 3 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:15,833 Gallagher, and my kids, who I'm proud of, 4 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:20,233 'cause every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:22,100 They can all think for themselves, 6 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,667 which they've me to thank for. 7 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:24,567 Run! 8 00:00:24,667 --> 00:00:25,933 Run for it! 9 00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:28,267 FRANK: Fiona, who's a massive help. 10 00:00:28,367 --> 00:00:31,500 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him 11 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:32,800 Phillip anymore. 12 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,000 Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others 13 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,733 because she's disappointed into thin air. 14 00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:39,100 And Carl. 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,667 We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 16 00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:43,633 One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah. 17 00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:45,000 To nits love him. 18 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:45,933 Debbie! 19 00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:47,100 Sent by God. 20 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,500 Total angel. 21 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,633 You've to check your change, but she'll go miles out 22 00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:52,500 of her way to do you a favor. 23 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,800 Plus Liam! 24 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,900 Gonna be a star once we've got the fits under control. 25 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,733 Steve, Fiona's boyfriend. 26 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:03,567 The truth is out there. Not. 27 00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:06,567 Fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica. 28 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,600 Lend you anythin-- well, not anything. 29 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:13,000 But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost one 30 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:16,100 of the most vital necessities in this life 31 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,033 is they know how to throw a party. 32 00:01:19,133 --> 00:01:20,600 Heh, heh, heh, A scatter! 33 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,167 DEBBIE (VOICEOVER): Over the hills, in a weird little land, 34 00:01:28,267 --> 00:01:31,533 with fairies and goblins with more than two hands, 35 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:35,000 some gremlins, they say, can come with four eyes. 36 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:38,267 The dragons can scorch with the simplest of sighs. 37 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:40,700 The scariest thing to people like, 38 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,233 'cause nothing can touch them. 39 00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:43,833 They're allergic to fuss. 40 00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:48,200 Until Them mother appeared, started roaming their valley, 41 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:51,400 hiding and pouncing from damp, dark alleys. 42 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:55,300 No noise, no chewing, no signs of a fight, 43 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,833 devouring the children with a plate of French fries. 44 00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:01,100 FRANK (SINGING): Oh, cockle my web. 45 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,967 I've been living through the pain. 46 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:06,767 Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh. 47 00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:08,067 Morning, Jackie! 48 00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:09,633 DEBBIE (VOICEOVER): They swing for their souls 49 00:02:09,733 --> 00:02:11,033 inside her belly. 50 00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:14,100 She laughs at their struggle and turns them to jelly. 51 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,500 When she burps, the ground shakes. 52 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,533 The locals take cover, as the roar of dead children 53 00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:24,400 repeats over and over. 54 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,000 Cheers, Fiona. 55 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:26,900 [plate dropping] 56 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,167 Oh, Dad! 57 00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:30,533 (SINGING) Morning! 58 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:33,433 Oh, what a beautiful day. 59 00:02:33,533 --> 00:02:40,233 I've got a feeling everything's going my way. 60 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:42,333 [dog barking and growling] 61 00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:49,700 FIONA: It's not Friday. 62 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,000 What, like I only come round when there's a giro due? 63 00:02:52,100 --> 00:02:53,600 POSTMAN: Don't go anywhere, Frank. 64 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:07,533 Hang o-- hang on. 65 00:03:12,333 --> 00:03:14,667 Unpaid Water Board, 150. 66 00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:15,567 County Court order! 67 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,267 Northwest Gas, 370! 68 00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:18,067 For what? 69 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:19,867 Only a guess, but gas. 70 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:23,700 Catalogue bill, TV/video combi, 380. 71 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:24,867 Wha-- someone's taking the piss. 72 00:03:24,967 --> 00:03:26,067 Who signed for the telly? 73 00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:27,767 ALL: You! 74 00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:30,067 (SLURRING) I'll take a-- a one for it. 75 00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:32,133 All right, 90 and a shag. 76 00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:34,967 80 and a bit of a poke. 77 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,167 [doorbell ringing] 78 00:03:36,267 --> 00:03:37,567 But these are all for Bishop's Grove. 79 00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:39,067 We haven't lived in Bishop's Grove for three years. 80 00:03:39,167 --> 00:03:39,967 FIONA: So? 81 00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:41,233 It's still in your name. 82 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:43,700 Yeah, but-- what is a bloody debt good for? 83 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,167 So are you paying it? 84 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,600 What's bloody Watchdog all about, then? 85 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:48,567 Where is it? 86 00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:49,933 [doorbell ringing] 87 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,533 Ah, got it. 88 00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:53,133 MAN (OUTSIDE): Frank Gallagher in? 89 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,433 DEBBIE: Who are you? 90 00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:56,500 MAN OUTSIDE: Frank "Pay-You-Back" Gallagher. 91 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,267 DEBBIE: He's not in. 92 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,200 He doesn't live here. 93 00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,767 FIONA: Hey, who are you? 94 00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:02,167 Who said you could come in? 95 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,867 Two grand's worth of debt and still mounting up. 96 00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:04,767 Right. 97 00:04:04,867 --> 00:04:06,000 Check out the back. 98 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:10,133 [music playing] At 99 00:04:16,533 --> 00:04:17,333 Jesus. 100 00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:33,233 [tires squealing] 101 00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:34,633 [crashing] [screaming] 102 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:35,767 Right, come on. 103 00:04:35,867 --> 00:04:36,700 Right. 104 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:37,867 Agh! 105 00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:38,800 Oof. 106 00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:39,800 Right. 107 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,833 He pays up, or he does without. 108 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,067 And we're talking legs. 109 00:04:43,167 --> 00:04:45,567 Where is he? 110 00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:46,900 Right. 111 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:47,933 Telly for starters. 112 00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:49,200 And the video. 113 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,100 I'll phone for the van, get the settee, eh? 114 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,800 You two, on your feet, now! 115 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:55,500 Yeah, I stuck a tape in for 007. 116 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:56,567 What? 117 00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:58,067 I've stuck a tape in, and that's my tape. 118 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,833 - Shit! - Get your hands off him! 119 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:04,400 [crashing] 120 00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:11,367 You little-- 121 00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:12,667 FIONA: You touch her and I'll kill you! 122 00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:13,733 Frank? 123 00:05:13,833 --> 00:05:14,667 Did your dad come this way? 124 00:05:14,767 --> 00:05:15,867 He doesn't live here! 125 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,167 I just clipped him with a wing mirror. 126 00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:18,700 He just ran straight into the van. 127 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,300 Hey, what's going on? 128 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,533 Debt recovery technicians. 129 00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:24,933 TIC Security. 130 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,233 Tony, they barged straight in. 131 00:05:26,333 --> 00:05:28,967 And this bastard has just kicked our Carl. 132 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,800 They're after your dad? 133 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:31,733 He doesn't live here. 134 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:33,400 Tell them! 135 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,633 Frank Gallagher has not lived here in a while. 136 00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:36,900 Eh, that's funny. 137 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,000 So how come his name's on the-- on the rent 138 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,067 books of this address? 139 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,767 Eh, that's funny. 140 00:05:41,867 --> 00:05:43,200 Which one of you breached Data Protection 141 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,300 to get that, then, eh? 142 00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:48,433 Furniture's none of your business. 143 00:05:48,533 --> 00:05:49,933 It belongs to Fiona. 144 00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:52,633 So what are we, lads? 145 00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:54,267 Technicians or burglars? 146 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:00,567 Sarge, you better bring the lads in. 147 00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:01,467 Whoa, whoa. 148 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,233 [sirens blaring] 149 00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:22,000 No, no. 150 00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:24,133 Listen, the more you cover him, the more 151 00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:25,767 your dad's gonna take the piss. 152 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:26,700 He won't change. 153 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,133 That's my problem, Tony. 154 00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,767 No, it's you shouldering everybody 155 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,267 else's problem while he's lapping it 156 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:33,233 up round at Sheila Jackson's. 157 00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:34,233 They're not your kids. 158 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:35,833 I don't have a choice. 159 00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:36,933 That's exactly what I'm saying. 160 00:06:37,033 --> 00:06:38,833 You do. 161 00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:39,900 You can come and live with me. 162 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,133 What? 163 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:43,333 17 grand a year, discount mortgage, yeah? 164 00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:45,100 Preferential insurance rates. 165 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,333 No debts, except the-- 166 00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:47,467 well, no. 167 00:06:47,567 --> 00:06:50,000 Come March, I'll even own the car outright. 168 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,633 I could change your life. 169 00:06:51,733 --> 00:06:53,967 I've got the life I want. 170 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:56,100 And you are not blind. 171 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,700 You know I've got a boyfriend. 172 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,133 That bloke's not your friend. 173 00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:00,867 Not if he's happy leaving you in that state. 174 00:07:00,967 --> 00:07:01,967 You're bugging me now, Tony. 175 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:02,867 And I'm late for work. 176 00:07:02,967 --> 00:07:05,833 Marry me. 177 00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:07,300 I mean it, Fiona. 178 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,600 I love you. 179 00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:10,567 Marry me. 180 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,100 FIONA: Come on. 181 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,167 What? 182 00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:32,033 MP3 player all over again. 183 00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:33,333 First you see, you buy. 184 00:07:33,433 --> 00:07:36,100 But you still can't get it to download, can you? 185 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,200 You had sex with her once. 186 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,500 Frank Gallagher's daughter! 187 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:43,900 Talk about starting at rock-bleeding-bottom. 188 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,267 Ow! 189 00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:48,500 It took you and Tamsin four years to buy a flat. 190 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,733 Yeah, well, good decisions need time. 191 00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:53,033 Three months later, you're back at your mom's. 192 00:07:53,133 --> 00:07:56,200 Tamsin owns the flat and she's moved her brother in. 193 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,033 She She just needs thinking time. 194 00:07:59,133 --> 00:07:59,967 It is her brother. 195 00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:00,900 Fuck off! 196 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,600 He's black! 197 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:07,567 [music playing] 198 00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:29,633 Sorry, Yvonne. 199 00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:31,867 I'm-- I thought someone was following us. 200 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:32,933 You're picking that up. 201 00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:34,333 Yeah, yeah, I will. 202 00:08:34,433 --> 00:08:35,500 Exactly as it were before. 203 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,433 I will. 204 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,500 And while you're down there, you can dust the tins. 205 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:48,633 Just-- just watch the door. 206 00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:50,133 Yeah, it doesn't make sense. 207 00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:51,833 Why'd it take three years for the creditors to catch up? 208 00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:54,000 Because we did a moonlight flit from our last place. 209 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,533 Yeah, a night I'll never forget. 210 00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:57,767 Kids this high carrying furniture. 211 00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,833 Couldn't tell a word Frank said. 212 00:08:59,933 --> 00:09:01,133 Me and Kev thought they were Bosnians. 213 00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,500 After a week, we were wishing they had been. 214 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,767 Yeah, all right, but nothing for three years, 215 00:09:04,867 --> 00:09:06,633 and then everybody finds out at once. 216 00:09:06,733 --> 00:09:07,867 Steve's right. 217 00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:09,367 Plus, Dad were looking for a letter. 218 00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:10,200 Meaning? 219 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,067 He were in top form. Why? 220 00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,433 What was he waiting for? 221 00:09:13,533 --> 00:09:15,433 He never gets letters here apart from his giro. 222 00:09:15,533 --> 00:09:16,933 And all the bills were addressed 223 00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:19,267 to Vernon Francis Gallagher. 224 00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,800 I reckon he's broke the rules. 225 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,200 He's used his full name somewhere. 226 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,333 [doorbell ringing] 227 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:27,733 You go, Veronica. 228 00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,700 If it's a bailiff, say I'm out. 229 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:30,700 Go, go, go, go, go! 230 00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,033 It's never little Fiona? 231 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:39,900 No, it's little Veronica. 232 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,067 The fuck do you want? 233 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:45,133 Mr. Wilson, Housing Officer. 234 00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:49,667 [music playing] 235 00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:17,067 Don't lose him, George! 236 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:33,367 Hello, Frank. 237 00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:41,733 Hey, Frank, while you're down there, 238 00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,233 can you just mop that sick up? 239 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,300 Phillip. 240 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,833 Ian. 241 00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:50,733 Deborah-- 242 00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,733 Debbie. 243 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,133 Carl. 244 00:10:54,233 --> 00:11:01,300 And nope. - Liam. 245 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:02,133 Get away. 246 00:11:02,233 --> 00:11:04,267 Liam Gallagher? 247 00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:06,633 You're never gonna live that one down, my son. 248 00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:11,233 You wee tinker. 249 00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:12,767 So where's your dad? 250 00:11:12,867 --> 00:11:15,067 He don't live here. 251 00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,400 This house has six to eight berths. 252 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,733 I've got people on the list looking 253 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,067 for our houses this size. 254 00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:23,000 So if all the berths aren't in use, you're out. 255 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,767 Plus, there's me. 256 00:11:25,867 --> 00:11:26,800 Who are you? 257 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:30,333 I'm Frank's eldest, Stevie. 258 00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:31,600 So Frank's-- 259 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,467 Still in Iraq. 260 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:34,800 Come again? 261 00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,367 He joined the army. 262 00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:38,100 Now I know you're pulling my leg because I was on the phone 263 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,733 to Frank yesterday. We had an appointment here. 264 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,367 Never kid a kidder. 265 00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:48,633 I don't like being lied to. 266 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:49,867 Start again. 267 00:11:49,967 --> 00:11:52,833 It's four bedrooms or five here? 268 00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:54,133 Four why? 269 00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:55,967 Request from the Child Support Agency 270 00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,333 for a domestic circumstances appraisal. 271 00:11:58,433 --> 00:11:59,900 Ha! 272 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,333 Their phrase, not mine. 273 00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:02,700 Hang on. 274 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,167 What's any of this got to do with the Child Support Agency? 275 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,167 Presumably because your mom asked for a summary. 276 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,867 Mom? 277 00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,033 You know where she is? 278 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,367 Don't you? 279 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,300 So who filed the claim against her, 280 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,800 if your dad's not living here? 281 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,267 What have you done? 282 00:12:50,433 --> 00:12:53,067 Do us a favor. 283 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:54,600 Ring this number. 284 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,333 Find out if Monica's there. 285 00:12:56,433 --> 00:13:01,933 If she is, then tell her congratulations, she's won. 286 00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:02,900 Who's Monica? 287 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,667 Doesn't matter. 288 00:13:04,767 --> 00:13:05,967 Won what? 289 00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:07,300 Well, you know, whatever. 290 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,633 Lottery. 291 00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:09,800 Teddy bear. 292 00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:11,033 For what? 293 00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:14,433 Just do as you're told and make the call! 294 00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:17,233 Just a teddy bear. 295 00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:18,367 Massive! 296 00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:21,400 Just say that. 297 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,533 Then I hope Monica, whoever she is, 298 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:24,533 worked very hard for it. 299 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,467 The f-- 300 00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:34,467 [door slamming] 301 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,800 Hey. 302 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:39,800 Hey. 303 00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:41,267 Come on. 304 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:43,867 What, you-- you think I'm going around chasing skirt? 305 00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:44,800 Go on. 306 00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,233 Game over, Sheila. 307 00:13:46,333 --> 00:13:49,000 A bloke couldn't love anybody more than I love you. 308 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:53,800 Come on. 309 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,333 She's not really won a teddy. 310 00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,200 And if I was giving away a teddy, 311 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,167 you'd be absolutely top of the list. 312 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,767 I'll let you give us one with the biggest in the box. 313 00:14:12,733 --> 00:14:13,733 You sure you're ready for that? 314 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,700 Yeah, just give us a couple of aspirin and get it over 315 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,367 and done with. 316 00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:25,267 Then you ring Monica, yeah? 317 00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:48,567 Michael. 318 00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:49,467 Over. 319 00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,833 Anything your end, George? 320 00:14:53,933 --> 00:14:56,367 Over. 321 00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:57,967 GEORGE (ON RADIO): Nothing, Michael. 322 00:14:58,067 --> 00:14:58,967 Over. 323 00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,033 [beeping] 324 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,000 This will be ready in a sec. 325 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,267 Over. 326 00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:06,400 GEORGE (ON RADIO): Am I coming over? 327 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,400 Over. 328 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,767 Yeah, come over. 329 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,667 Over. 330 00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:29,767 Oh, hello. 331 00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,967 Is he not in here? 332 00:15:54,067 --> 00:15:55,500 Daren't go home. 333 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,900 Which is great for the till, so don't go cheering him up. 334 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,067 [machine music playing] 335 00:16:09,967 --> 00:16:11,233 You know where Mom is, don't you? 336 00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:11,967 No. 337 00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,133 Liar. 338 00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,700 We've had the housing officer round. 339 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,633 You know where she is because you filed a claim against her. 340 00:16:16,733 --> 00:16:17,633 They know where she is. 341 00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:18,733 They won't give us the address. 342 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,600 We have got bailiffs front and back 'cause of you. 343 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:25,900 Oh, here we go. 'Cause of me. 344 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,267 No one blames you mom, do they? 345 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:29,067 No one has a go at that pan-faced, gutless bitch. 346 00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:32,733 Bloody right I've made a claim. 347 00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:34,833 The pain she's caused me. 348 00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:37,100 The shit Monica's loaded on me. 349 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,500 She's living it up with a bloke in Moston 350 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,867 and I'm fetching up six kids on fucking peanuts. 351 00:16:41,967 --> 00:16:43,367 You are not bringing up six kids. 352 00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:44,567 You never brought up six kids. 353 00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:45,667 I am! 354 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:49,633 If there's any money coming, it's owed to me. 355 00:16:49,733 --> 00:16:52,200 How do you know she's in Moston? 356 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:56,100 Jackie Peasgood gave me her number. 357 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,033 I guess that's how the CSA traced her. 358 00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:00,633 It's a Moston code. 359 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,600 Have you talked to her? 360 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,300 [inaudible] fuck. 361 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,267 If she finds out I'm onto her, we won't see her for dust, 362 00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:20,167 will we? 363 00:17:20,267 --> 00:17:21,800 I want to see that money. 364 00:17:24,967 --> 00:17:25,800 What? 365 00:17:28,467 --> 00:17:32,333 She thinks she's won a teddy. 366 00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:34,300 Monica? 367 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,567 Oh, hello. 368 00:17:35,667 --> 00:17:39,533 It's Sheila here from Costchopper, the mini market. 369 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:45,500 I'm delighted to announce you've won the raffle. 370 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:52,033 It's a teddy bear. 371 00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:53,800 First prize. 372 00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,000 Biggest teddy there is. 373 00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:58,267 I know. 374 00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:05,167 I've never won anything, either. 375 00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:07,867 I bet you're thrilled, aren't you? 376 00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,300 I'm thrilled for you. 377 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:15,267 Anyway, prize-giving's at 6 o'clock. 378 00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:19,200 Carol Vorderman's making the presentation. 379 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,533 She doesn't know who Carol is! 380 00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:26,667 How could you not know who Carol Vorderman is? 381 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:30,500 Anyway, it's 6:00 on the dot. 382 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,333 Richard Whiteley might be there and all. 383 00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:36,967 Bye, Monica. 384 00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,700 She's never heard of Richard Whiteley. 385 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,467 Is she coming? 386 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:42,633 Richard Whiteley! 387 00:18:42,733 --> 00:18:45,200 Did she say she was picking up the prize or not? 388 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:46,533 Yes. 389 00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:47,500 Big, daft moo. 390 00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:53,333 How do you know her, anyway? 391 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,333 So if she's daft enough to show her face, 392 00:18:55,433 --> 00:18:57,600 I'm going to follow her and find out exactly where she's hiding. 393 00:18:57,700 --> 00:19:00,767 We need you at home when Wilson comes back. 394 00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:02,633 Well, when's he offering? 395 00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:04,433 Tomorrow, 11:00. 396 00:19:04,533 --> 00:19:05,200 All right. 397 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,400 I'll see if I can make it. 398 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:07,700 You will not see if you can anything. 399 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,033 You will bloody well be there and sort this out! 400 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:16,767 Ready, Frank? 401 00:19:58,733 --> 00:19:59,533 Monica. 402 00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:12,300 Monica? 403 00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:21,933 All right. 404 00:20:22,033 --> 00:20:23,500 What kind of money we talking? 405 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:24,500 Over 7 grand so far. 406 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,333 Christ. 407 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,533 Where'd your dad spend it all? 408 00:20:26,633 --> 00:20:27,367 Not the house. 409 00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,100 - Not clothes. - Not food. 410 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,367 Here we go. 411 00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:32,933 One of the original labor-saving devices, 412 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:35,333 beaten only by the vibrator. 413 00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:36,300 Veronica! 414 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,367 What? 415 00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:38,900 They all know what a vibrator is. 416 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,767 That may be, but it's not for discussion in an open house. 417 00:20:41,867 --> 00:20:42,800 Oh, grow up. 418 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:43,800 Right. 419 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,867 If it dries up, just gob on it. 420 00:20:46,967 --> 00:20:48,400 See? - Eugh. 421 00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,000 Right, kids. What am I doing? 422 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:55,567 [music playing] 423 00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:26,467 Look at the state of her! 424 00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:28,067 Your idea of a joke? 425 00:21:28,167 --> 00:21:31,133 Because you're scared of women with opinions, eh? 426 00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:35,267 Well, watch this space, crinkle dick. 427 00:21:35,367 --> 00:21:37,167 I'll show you what's funny when I rip 428 00:21:37,267 --> 00:21:39,167 the face off your fucking head! 429 00:21:39,267 --> 00:21:41,233 You twisted, Fascist old shit! 430 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,633 Are you sure you got the right shop? 431 00:21:52,733 --> 00:21:53,800 Yeah. 432 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,067 I'm asking you to think, Monica. 433 00:21:55,167 --> 00:21:56,300 Did they say Costchopper? 434 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,033 Yeah! 435 00:21:57,133 --> 00:21:58,700 I wrote it down. 436 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,067 I wrote everything down. 437 00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:03,033 Stop talking to me like I'm stupid. 438 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,300 Frank? 439 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,700 What? 440 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:16,667 It's Frank! 441 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,233 Frank! 442 00:22:37,033 --> 00:22:38,100 [inaudible] in the way. 443 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,667 Did you see the missus? - She's seen me. 444 00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:40,533 Start the car! Come on! 445 00:22:40,633 --> 00:22:41,500 Come on! She's here! 446 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:42,667 She's here! - Who's the other bird? 447 00:22:42,767 --> 00:22:43,967 Her bloke. A truck driver. 448 00:22:44,067 --> 00:22:44,933 What's all that about? 449 00:22:45,033 --> 00:22:45,900 Eh? 450 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,000 Come on. 451 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:48,633 Floor it, Kev, or we're done for. 452 00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:50,067 NORMA: Come here, you! 453 00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:52,633 I'll get [inaudible] bastard! 454 00:22:59,733 --> 00:23:02,200 [honking] 455 00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:07,800 Come on! 456 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:09,233 Faster than this, you gormless dick! 457 00:23:09,333 --> 00:23:10,233 [inaudible] faster than this. 458 00:23:10,333 --> 00:23:11,600 I've got no other options. 459 00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:13,700 Why the hell didn't you tell me she was a lezzer? 460 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:14,867 Oh, hello! 461 00:23:14,967 --> 00:23:16,033 If I'd have known she was a lezzer, 462 00:23:16,133 --> 00:23:17,667 I'd have asked her back, wouldn't I? 463 00:23:17,767 --> 00:23:19,633 [honking] 464 00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:24,167 Next exit, Kev! 465 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,500 Come on! 466 00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:43,100 What did I tell you? 467 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,000 Milk and egg mixed by whisk, coat very gently, 468 00:23:45,100 --> 00:23:46,733 it'll always crisp. 469 00:23:46,833 --> 00:23:48,000 It smells fantastic, Sheila. 470 00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:51,233 Thanks to you, the new Delia. 471 00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:52,933 Actually, I've lost patience with Delia 472 00:23:53,033 --> 00:23:54,000 since the new haircut. 473 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:55,367 It's too severe. 474 00:23:55,467 --> 00:23:57,067 Plus, she never writes back. 475 00:24:01,533 --> 00:24:02,233 What! 476 00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:04,167 What about the bloody car? 477 00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:08,500 Oh, for Chr-- get it shifted, you dateless ginger nonce! 478 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,200 You're crossing Don't there, Frank. 479 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:12,033 Ginger's all I've got left of me dad, so I'm warning you! 480 00:24:18,033 --> 00:24:20,100 [revving] 481 00:24:39,833 --> 00:24:40,967 Sheila! Key! 482 00:24:41,067 --> 00:24:42,267 Backdoor key! Where have you put it? 483 00:24:42,367 --> 00:24:43,800 I'm trying to concentrate a little bit 484 00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,033 here, Frank, thank you. 485 00:24:48,933 --> 00:24:50,467 Mom. 486 00:24:50,567 --> 00:24:51,367 Mom? 487 00:25:12,667 --> 00:25:13,467 Debbie? 488 00:25:40,133 --> 00:25:41,267 Hey, it's nowt to do with me. 489 00:25:41,367 --> 00:25:42,733 I'm just-- I'm just the driver. 490 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:43,700 That's driving? 491 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:44,900 Ha! 492 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,100 Anyway, I've got to get back to work. 493 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,967 I told them I'd only be a half hour. 494 00:25:49,067 --> 00:25:50,233 There's plenty of other jobs. 495 00:25:53,067 --> 00:25:56,000 That was a filthy bloody trick. 496 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:57,667 I had me heart sent on that teddy. 497 00:25:57,767 --> 00:25:58,600 Oh! 498 00:25:58,700 --> 00:26:00,067 Oh, teddy, is it? 499 00:26:00,167 --> 00:26:01,167 Heart set, is it? 500 00:26:01,267 --> 00:26:02,267 So what about your kids? 501 00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:03,933 You know, your six kids, youngest 502 00:26:04,033 --> 00:26:07,867 being four months old when you ran off with fucking Shrek. 503 00:26:07,967 --> 00:26:09,367 Am I answering that, Monica? 504 00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:11,700 No. 505 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,733 I didn't leave you, Frank. 506 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:14,700 You bloody did. 507 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:15,933 You pissed off! 508 00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:17,533 I didn't leave me family. 509 00:26:17,633 --> 00:26:20,200 You'd done just about your worst to destroy me. 510 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:22,833 When I turned up at Norma's that night, I was like a bloody-- 511 00:26:22,933 --> 00:26:23,933 Emotional cripple. 512 00:26:24,033 --> 00:26:25,600 --total emotional cripple, with 513 00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:28,033 not one iota of self-respect. 514 00:26:28,133 --> 00:26:30,300 You drove me into the ground. 515 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,033 You'd robbed me of any dignity I ever had and-- 516 00:26:37,633 --> 00:26:39,133 where's the rest of the kids? - They live down at Fiona's. 517 00:26:39,233 --> 00:26:40,233 Playing out. 518 00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:56,067 George? Over. 519 00:26:56,167 --> 00:26:57,400 GEORGE (ON RADIO): Michael. Over. 520 00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:58,333 Oy! 521 00:26:58,433 --> 00:27:00,667 Sit down, mate. 522 00:27:00,767 --> 00:27:01,633 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 523 00:27:01,733 --> 00:27:04,967 Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy. 524 00:27:05,067 --> 00:27:07,567 [chatter] 525 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:13,600 Debbie? 526 00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:41,867 What's up, sweetheart? 527 00:27:41,967 --> 00:27:44,433 Did he have one too many? 528 00:27:44,533 --> 00:27:45,833 Ugh. 529 00:27:45,933 --> 00:27:47,333 Just ignore him. 530 00:27:47,433 --> 00:27:49,367 Why do you always blame dad first? 531 00:28:00,833 --> 00:28:01,633 ALL: Hey! 532 00:28:01,733 --> 00:28:03,633 Come on! 533 00:28:03,733 --> 00:28:06,967 Oy, come on. 534 00:28:07,067 --> 00:28:08,033 I'm going round Sheila's. 535 00:28:10,567 --> 00:28:11,400 Mom's around there. 536 00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:23,733 Oh, Christ, Fiona, come here. 537 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,900 Is this-- is this a good idea? 538 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:32,967 I don't know. 539 00:28:33,067 --> 00:28:34,967 It wasn't mine, was it? 540 00:28:35,067 --> 00:28:36,300 She just rolled up. 541 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,933 Scared the shit out of Debbie. 542 00:28:38,033 --> 00:28:39,867 Listen. 543 00:28:39,967 --> 00:28:40,800 Listen. 544 00:28:47,033 --> 00:28:50,067 I know how you feel. 545 00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:51,233 You can't. 546 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:55,633 What if you just go around? 547 00:28:55,733 --> 00:28:58,367 I'll come with you. 548 00:28:58,467 --> 00:29:00,533 Look at their faces, for fuck's sakes. 549 00:29:00,633 --> 00:29:02,467 I'll be with you. 550 00:29:02,567 --> 00:29:03,867 We both will. 551 00:29:03,967 --> 00:29:05,000 Won't we? 552 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:09,800 Wrong, Carl. 553 00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:12,500 Because I am not fucking coming. 554 00:29:17,933 --> 00:29:18,733 You abused her. 555 00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:20,433 Oh, she asked me to. 556 00:29:20,533 --> 00:29:22,733 Walloping her? 557 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,233 What? 558 00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:25,200 When? 559 00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:26,667 - Frank, you never! - Oh, fuck off. 560 00:29:26,767 --> 00:29:27,567 When? 561 00:29:27,667 --> 00:29:28,933 That May bank holiday. 562 00:29:29,033 --> 00:29:30,833 Oh, you hit me in the face with a pan of fucking porridge! 563 00:29:30,933 --> 00:29:32,167 - And you hit me back! - So? 564 00:29:32,267 --> 00:29:33,367 Queensberry rules. 565 00:29:33,467 --> 00:29:34,900 You broke me nose and two front teeth! 566 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,367 [inaudible] casualty, looking like Ann fucking Widdecombe! 567 00:29:36,467 --> 00:29:38,100 You started it, you mad bitch. 568 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,933 And I'll finish it if you lay a finger on her. 569 00:29:41,033 --> 00:29:43,400 Norma, we're both just third parties here. 570 00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:45,900 Why don't we both just duck out and leave 571 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,667 Monica to make her apologies? 572 00:29:47,767 --> 00:29:48,933 Apologies? 573 00:29:49,033 --> 00:29:50,567 For walking out on this piece of shit? 574 00:29:50,667 --> 00:29:52,200 Not particularly. 575 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,567 For walking out on them. 576 00:29:57,633 --> 00:30:00,533 Oh my God. 577 00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:01,500 It's all right. 578 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:02,467 I'm not one of yours. 579 00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:03,533 Just came for a look. 580 00:30:03,633 --> 00:30:04,500 Oh, Kev! 581 00:30:13,133 --> 00:30:15,000 Come on. Let us in. 582 00:30:18,467 --> 00:30:26,633 I know you don't need anybody, Debs, but what if I do? 583 00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:36,567 [door opening] 584 00:30:58,533 --> 00:31:02,767 FEMALE HOST (ON TV): --female genital mutilation is-- 585 00:31:02,867 --> 00:31:05,033 for all of the female genitalia. 586 00:31:05,133 --> 00:31:08,067 The most severe [inaudible] circumcision-- 587 00:31:12,667 --> 00:31:21,133 Monica's-- she looks absolutely beautiful. 588 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:25,500 I miss her. 589 00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:53,100 I'll have paid this house off by the time I'm 54. 590 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,133 We put down a big deposit. 591 00:31:58,267 --> 00:32:00,267 You use love eggs? 592 00:32:00,367 --> 00:32:01,500 Not so much these days. 593 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,667 Not since Frank. 594 00:32:03,767 --> 00:32:06,500 My mom had a pair before they were even fashionable. 595 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,500 I remember thinking, Easter's a long way off. 596 00:32:11,867 --> 00:32:13,767 What the fuck are you on, Sheila? 597 00:32:13,867 --> 00:32:17,900 Oh God, now you're asking! 598 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:22,300 Seroxin, 350 milligrams, breakfast and teatime. 599 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,567 Dipipanol, 25s, three times daily. 600 00:32:26,667 --> 00:32:27,867 Praxil, 200s. 601 00:32:27,967 --> 00:32:28,833 No, I tell a lie. 602 00:32:28,933 --> 00:32:30,000 It's 400s. 603 00:32:30,100 --> 00:32:32,200 Come Monday, just breakfasts. 604 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:37,000 And carbamazepine, whenever I'm able to take them. 605 00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:38,667 [MUSIC - JOAN ARMATRADING, "LOVE AND AFFECTION"] 606 00:32:38,767 --> 00:32:40,233 (SINGING) I am not in love. 607 00:32:43,667 --> 00:32:46,233 But I'm open to persuasion. 608 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:56,400 East or west, where's the best for romancin'? 609 00:32:59,267 --> 00:33:04,500 With a friend, I can smile. 610 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,300 With a lover, I can hold my head back 611 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,400 and really laugh, really laugh. 612 00:33:13,767 --> 00:33:14,667 Thank you. 613 00:33:18,467 --> 00:33:20,833 What you sticking your ass out for? 614 00:33:20,933 --> 00:33:22,500 Blast these shoes. 615 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:23,833 [wolf whistle] 616 00:33:23,933 --> 00:33:24,800 [barking] 617 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,167 Frank, you're scaring the dogs. 618 00:33:27,267 --> 00:33:29,867 [inaudible] scaring them's an improvement. 619 00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:32,033 Save you a bob or two on drinks. 620 00:33:32,133 --> 00:33:33,500 I'm doing this for you. 621 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:34,767 No, you're not, Dad. 622 00:33:34,867 --> 00:33:36,500 You're doing this because you're dead if you don't. 623 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:37,467 George. Over. 624 00:33:37,567 --> 00:33:39,133 GEORGE (ON RADIO): Michael. Over. 625 00:33:39,233 --> 00:33:41,600 There's a ropey old bird here with the eldest daughter. 626 00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,233 His missus, probably. 627 00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:45,067 She looks more hungover than he does, 628 00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:46,767 so I bet he's not far away. 629 00:33:46,867 --> 00:33:48,867 Keep your eyes peeled your end. 630 00:33:48,967 --> 00:33:49,800 Over. 631 00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:52,067 GEORGE (ON RADIO): Over. 632 00:33:52,167 --> 00:33:53,467 I'm a wee bit early. 633 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,167 If you think I'm walking back in these, 634 00:34:00,267 --> 00:34:02,167 you got another fucking thing coming. 635 00:34:05,933 --> 00:34:08,300 Frank? 636 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:09,367 Never! 637 00:34:09,467 --> 00:34:11,467 There's these-- these blokes out there-- 638 00:34:11,567 --> 00:34:14,067 I don't want to know about blokes out there [inaudible].. 639 00:34:14,167 --> 00:34:15,633 Not from you. - Fuck off. 640 00:34:15,733 --> 00:34:16,567 No, what I'm saying-- 641 00:34:16,667 --> 00:34:18,100 That sounded far-fetched. 642 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:19,333 Now we know why. 643 00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:23,867 I've started, so I might as well finish. 644 00:34:23,967 --> 00:34:27,300 Are you living here officially or not? 645 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,833 Well, I'm here, aren't I? 646 00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:29,767 Shut up. 647 00:34:29,867 --> 00:34:31,067 Surely are. 648 00:34:31,167 --> 00:34:33,000 But sleeping where? 649 00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:34,433 My bedroom, back left. 650 00:34:34,533 --> 00:34:36,933 Hey, look, Billy, how long have we known each other? 651 00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:38,200 What we need to know-- 652 00:34:38,300 --> 00:34:40,900 I think I know a sight more than I wanted. 653 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,200 Back left is Debbie's room. - No. 654 00:34:42,300 --> 00:34:43,100 Yeah. 655 00:34:50,333 --> 00:34:51,633 How many beds, Deborah? 656 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,800 Do I nip upstairs and look? 657 00:34:56,900 --> 00:34:57,933 Single. 658 00:34:58,033 --> 00:35:00,967 We chucked the double out when-- 659 00:35:01,067 --> 00:35:01,867 Wait. 660 00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:04,300 Stop right there. 661 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,433 I am way out of my league. 662 00:35:06,533 --> 00:35:10,000 Billy-- Mr. Wilson, don't do that because Dad's right. 663 00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:11,333 They made me do this! 664 00:35:11,433 --> 00:35:13,333 You see, I've got to avoid people, you see? 665 00:35:13,433 --> 00:35:14,900 - You're avoiding them, Frank. - Yeah. 666 00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:15,833 Is that right, Frank? 667 00:35:15,933 --> 00:35:16,967 That's right. 668 00:35:17,067 --> 00:35:18,267 How long have I been doing this job? 669 00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:19,500 I'm not a scaredy-cat. 670 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,100 I housed your mom when she was on parole. 671 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:23,333 Nobody else would touch her. - I know. 672 00:35:23,433 --> 00:35:25,100 I know. - And you were a teenager. 673 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,533 I've done nothing but favors. 674 00:35:27,633 --> 00:35:28,433 But now-- 675 00:35:28,533 --> 00:35:29,200 No. 676 00:35:29,300 --> 00:35:31,800 --you've had it. 677 00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:34,400 That's your copy of the report. 678 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:37,800 Good luck with the CSA claim, because when you get it, 679 00:35:37,900 --> 00:35:39,033 I want 2 grand off you. 680 00:35:39,133 --> 00:35:40,533 Tw-- what f-- 681 00:35:40,633 --> 00:35:42,167 what for, for fuck's sake? 682 00:35:42,267 --> 00:35:46,000 Rent arrears from your last address and your other name. 683 00:35:46,100 --> 00:35:47,533 And don't think you'll get away with that one, 684 00:35:47,633 --> 00:35:50,267 because I'll haunt you till the day you die 685 00:35:50,367 --> 00:35:54,733 for every last penny, madam. 686 00:35:54,833 --> 00:35:56,067 Argh! 687 00:35:56,167 --> 00:35:57,933 What'd you do that for? 688 00:35:58,033 --> 00:35:59,000 Mr. Wilson, are you OK? 689 00:35:59,100 --> 00:35:59,900 That's it! 690 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,367 That's all you can do! 691 00:36:01,467 --> 00:36:03,700 He'll do you for assault Saw you gormless prick! 692 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:04,900 - Are you OK, Mr. Wilson? - What? 693 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,033 He started it! 694 00:36:09,133 --> 00:36:11,233 Get some ice or something. 695 00:36:11,333 --> 00:36:13,800 Keep your head back in case it's bleeding. 696 00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:33,767 I try. 697 00:36:36,567 --> 00:36:39,267 I blow it. 698 00:36:39,367 --> 00:36:42,533 That's why I don't go to church anymore! 699 00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:49,000 The wife's gone walkabout, George. 700 00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:50,300 She's looking a bit knocked about. 701 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:51,267 Over. 702 00:36:51,367 --> 00:36:52,967 Rough as assholes, actually. 703 00:36:53,067 --> 00:36:53,867 Over. 704 00:36:53,967 --> 00:36:56,633 Ta, Ta, Michael. 705 00:36:56,733 --> 00:36:59,433 Bloke from Housing's just come out with a busted nose. 706 00:36:59,533 --> 00:37:01,967 Over. 707 00:37:02,067 --> 00:37:03,867 He must be in there. Go, go, go. 708 00:37:03,967 --> 00:37:05,500 I'll talk to the missus. 709 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:06,867 Over. 710 00:37:06,967 --> 00:37:11,000 [music playing] 711 00:37:55,133 --> 00:37:57,400 Is anyone around here normal? 712 00:37:57,500 --> 00:37:58,333 Frank! 713 00:38:13,233 --> 00:38:15,133 You think you're clever, Frank? 714 00:38:15,233 --> 00:38:16,500 Do you reckon this is clever? 715 00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:24,367 Steady on, Michael. 716 00:38:24,467 --> 00:38:26,533 Do you know what your new name is, Frank? 717 00:38:26,633 --> 00:38:29,133 You know what people are calling you around here? 718 00:38:29,233 --> 00:38:30,467 Dead Man Walking. 719 00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:32,967 So when you change into your nightie, 720 00:38:33,067 --> 00:38:34,267 just sleep on this for us-- 721 00:38:37,267 --> 00:38:39,033 - Do you want one? - No. 722 00:38:39,133 --> 00:38:40,667 Then clear it up and fuck off! 723 00:38:45,567 --> 00:38:46,367 You and all! 724 00:38:48,900 --> 00:38:51,700 Men, eh? 725 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:52,700 There, mate. 726 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,333 2.30. 727 00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:55,267 Ta. 728 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,733 I'm not in market for business, love. 729 00:39:07,833 --> 00:39:10,067 Who's fucking asking? 730 00:39:10,167 --> 00:39:12,933 I only wanted a light. 731 00:39:13,033 --> 00:39:14,033 Sorry. 732 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:22,967 It's just that, well, today's been a bit, you know. 733 00:39:23,067 --> 00:39:24,667 New job. 734 00:39:24,767 --> 00:39:25,967 Trying to get used to it. 735 00:39:26,067 --> 00:39:27,167 Aw. 736 00:39:27,267 --> 00:39:29,200 Who do you work for? 737 00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:30,867 Tight Security. Yay. 738 00:39:30,967 --> 00:39:31,833 Ooh. 739 00:39:31,933 --> 00:39:32,967 I know. 740 00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:36,000 I'm not proud of it, but lost my job. 741 00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:39,267 I've got three kids and a new mortgage. 742 00:39:39,367 --> 00:39:40,467 VERONICA: I love kids, me. 743 00:39:40,567 --> 00:39:42,733 And I love mortgages. 744 00:39:42,833 --> 00:39:43,800 But in that order. 745 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:50,933 So what have you got, then? 746 00:39:51,033 --> 00:39:52,167 Right. 747 00:39:52,267 --> 00:39:53,900 Well, I've got an endowment, a repayment, 748 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,333 and the new one's a tracker. 749 00:39:55,433 --> 00:39:56,100 Tracker? 750 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,300 How does that work? 751 00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,367 It Goes up and down with interest rates. 752 00:39:59,467 --> 00:40:00,800 - Up and down, does it? - Yeah. 753 00:40:00,900 --> 00:40:02,167 You'll have to tell me about that one. 754 00:40:02,267 --> 00:40:03,667 - Oh, I'll get you a leaflet. - Will you? 755 00:40:03,767 --> 00:40:04,600 Yeah. 756 00:40:10,033 --> 00:40:11,500 [doorbell ringing] 757 00:40:18,533 --> 00:40:19,267 Come on, darling. 758 00:40:19,367 --> 00:40:20,233 Come and have some tea. 759 00:40:20,333 --> 00:40:21,400 I'm not very hungry. 760 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:38,633 Nice and clean. 761 00:40:38,733 --> 00:40:40,733 Ian and Carl. 762 00:40:40,833 --> 00:40:43,333 You've done well here. 763 00:40:43,433 --> 00:40:44,400 Thanks. 764 00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:45,533 It's bigger than mine, and I'm working. 765 00:40:49,067 --> 00:40:51,100 Oh, look! 766 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,933 Remember Barbara? 767 00:40:53,033 --> 00:40:54,567 Mom's sister, Barbara? 768 00:40:54,667 --> 00:40:55,600 Oh, I told you about her. 769 00:40:55,700 --> 00:40:56,833 Married to the john with no eyebrows. 770 00:40:56,933 --> 00:40:58,233 Oh, right. 771 00:40:58,333 --> 00:41:01,167 Barbara gave me this as part of me wedding present. 772 00:41:01,267 --> 00:41:02,500 Other part being what? 773 00:41:24,033 --> 00:41:25,167 When did you last see the car? 774 00:41:25,267 --> 00:41:26,467 It was parked outside. 775 00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:28,067 But when did you last have the keys? 776 00:41:28,167 --> 00:41:29,000 In here. 777 00:41:29,100 --> 00:41:30,467 In me pocket. 778 00:41:30,567 --> 00:41:32,300 In here? 779 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:33,600 All right. 780 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:34,567 Who's the smartass? 781 00:41:37,533 --> 00:41:39,467 I'll count to five. 782 00:41:39,567 --> 00:41:40,833 Five. 783 00:41:40,933 --> 00:41:42,533 ALL: Four. Three. 784 00:41:42,633 --> 00:41:43,433 Two. 785 00:41:43,533 --> 00:41:44,767 One. 786 00:41:44,867 --> 00:41:45,767 Waste of fucking space. 787 00:41:45,867 --> 00:41:47,000 Phone a taxi! 788 00:41:47,100 --> 00:41:48,467 The phone was in the car. 789 00:41:48,567 --> 00:41:49,867 Get out here! 790 00:41:49,967 --> 00:41:51,400 ALL: [jeering] 791 00:42:13,467 --> 00:42:15,833 Look, I know what you all think of me. 792 00:42:15,933 --> 00:42:17,500 But if I have to start apologizing, 793 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,200 I'll be undoing a lot of good therapy 794 00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:22,100 that Norma's been kind enough to pay for. 795 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,167 Thank you, Norma. 796 00:42:30,567 --> 00:42:32,700 You got kids, Norma? 797 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:33,800 Not yet. 798 00:42:33,900 --> 00:42:34,733 What, you got a problem with that? 799 00:42:34,833 --> 00:42:36,067 Norma. 800 00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:37,333 I'm just trying to work out which one of you 801 00:42:37,433 --> 00:42:40,033 came up with the idea of her vanishing. 802 00:42:40,133 --> 00:42:42,967 Mom, doing a disappearing act. 803 00:42:43,067 --> 00:42:47,333 Liam wasn't desperate because he was only three months old. 804 00:42:47,433 --> 00:42:48,600 Debbie was. 805 00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:49,533 Carl was. 806 00:42:49,633 --> 00:42:50,433 Ian was. 807 00:42:50,533 --> 00:42:51,433 Lip was. 808 00:42:51,533 --> 00:42:52,233 I was. 809 00:42:52,333 --> 00:42:53,633 We thought you were dead. 810 00:42:58,033 --> 00:43:00,800 I'm a lesbian, Fiona. 811 00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:02,067 Is she? 812 00:43:02,167 --> 00:43:05,467 How was I meant to come back and tell you that? 813 00:43:05,567 --> 00:43:06,667 Gently? 814 00:43:06,767 --> 00:43:08,900 In stages, or never. 815 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,300 So is she? 816 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,733 Your mom's been through hell and high water, Fiona. 817 00:43:11,833 --> 00:43:12,633 Yeah. 818 00:43:12,733 --> 00:43:14,100 Better believe it, girl. 819 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:15,567 You could have popped back for five minutes. 820 00:43:15,667 --> 00:43:17,667 You might have mentioned you were still alive. 821 00:43:17,767 --> 00:43:19,467 Might have helped. 822 00:43:19,567 --> 00:43:21,200 NORMA: You weren't. 823 00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:23,067 I wasn't alive, Fiona. 824 00:43:23,167 --> 00:43:25,767 Not until I met Norma. 825 00:43:25,867 --> 00:43:28,433 Look, I swear to you, Fiona, I had 826 00:43:28,533 --> 00:43:32,167 stuck it in me diary to ring you next week, for your 21st. 827 00:43:32,267 --> 00:43:34,733 You know, to say hello and well done. 828 00:43:34,833 --> 00:43:36,267 What good were that meant to do? 829 00:43:36,367 --> 00:43:37,667 I mean, she's done a great job. 830 00:43:37,767 --> 00:43:39,133 Look at you all. 831 00:43:39,233 --> 00:43:41,533 I swear to you, Lip, to all of you. 832 00:43:41,633 --> 00:43:44,500 I'd never have left if I didn't think Fiona could cope. 833 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,167 I taught her everything she knows. 834 00:43:46,267 --> 00:43:48,533 She could run rings round your dad before she was seven. 835 00:43:48,633 --> 00:43:49,467 I knew you'd be safe. 836 00:43:49,567 --> 00:43:50,300 Oh. 837 00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:52,233 Well, you could, couldn't you? 838 00:43:52,333 --> 00:43:55,167 I mean, it's not like I left anybody in a mess. 839 00:43:55,267 --> 00:43:57,067 I knew Fiona could cope. 840 00:44:02,233 --> 00:44:05,033 Lip, Ian, tell her how many GCSEs you're doing. 841 00:44:05,133 --> 00:44:06,267 I'm doing 10. 842 00:44:06,367 --> 00:44:08,233 Seven or eight, I'm not too sure yet. 843 00:44:08,333 --> 00:44:10,367 Debbie, prizes this year. 844 00:44:10,467 --> 00:44:12,867 English, maths, chemistry, and neatness. 845 00:44:12,967 --> 00:44:16,200 Carl, you tell her what you built when you went to Swindon. 846 00:44:16,300 --> 00:44:19,100 Triple-cushion double-aerofoil streamlined hovercraft. 847 00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:20,200 Went like a bomb. 848 00:44:20,300 --> 00:44:21,367 Hovercraft, to you. 849 00:44:21,467 --> 00:44:23,067 What was he doing in Swindon? 850 00:44:23,167 --> 00:44:25,433 Two week residential for speech therapy. 851 00:44:25,533 --> 00:44:28,133 Took me a year to get him a place, but I did it. 852 00:44:28,233 --> 00:44:29,967 So yeah, I coped. Thanks. 853 00:44:30,067 --> 00:44:31,067 No thanks. 854 00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:32,467 Not to you. 855 00:44:32,567 --> 00:44:35,000 Look, if anybody could change your dad, she could. 856 00:44:35,100 --> 00:44:36,000 I knew that. 857 00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:37,133 He hasn't changed! 858 00:44:37,233 --> 00:44:38,033 Has he changed? 859 00:44:38,133 --> 00:44:39,433 Well, he's a lot cleaner. 860 00:44:39,533 --> 00:44:41,667 He's about as much help to us as you've been. 861 00:44:41,767 --> 00:44:43,567 We'd have been better off without both of you. 862 00:44:43,667 --> 00:44:45,367 But you couldn't have known that when you fucked off 863 00:44:45,467 --> 00:44:47,100 and left us to it, could you? 864 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,300 You didn't know. 865 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,600 You never bothered finding out. 866 00:44:50,700 --> 00:44:53,100 [beeping] 867 00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:57,133 I told you I'd get all the blame, didn't I? 868 00:44:57,233 --> 00:44:59,200 I talked to loads of people, right, 869 00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:00,933 and I heard how you were getting on. 870 00:45:01,033 --> 00:45:02,400 Big fucking deal. 871 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:03,533 Oh! 872 00:45:03,633 --> 00:45:05,000 I'm not happy with all this underage swearing. 873 00:45:05,100 --> 00:45:06,633 Oh, that's fine, Norma, because I'm fucking off, 874 00:45:06,733 --> 00:45:07,633 anyway. 875 00:45:07,733 --> 00:45:09,467 I am proud of every one of them. 876 00:45:09,567 --> 00:45:12,933 And I am proud of me for pulling it off. 877 00:45:13,033 --> 00:45:14,900 But they're your kids. 878 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,733 So you take over from here. 879 00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:20,267 Housing Office, bailiffs, schools, 880 00:45:20,367 --> 00:45:23,233 clinic, over to you, Mom! 881 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,633 Hey, hey, hey, Fiona, you OK? 882 00:45:52,433 --> 00:45:53,667 Your house. 883 00:45:53,767 --> 00:45:54,567 Drive. 884 00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:02,933 [music - "crazy"] 885 00:46:03,033 --> 00:46:05,800 (SINGING) Crazy. 886 00:46:05,900 --> 00:46:09,433 I'm crazy for feeling so lonely. 887 00:46:14,367 --> 00:46:17,667 I'm crazy. 888 00:46:17,767 --> 00:46:21,433 I'm crazy for feeling so blue. 889 00:46:24,333 --> 00:46:25,767 DEBBIE (VOICEOVER): The bitch, as she's 890 00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:29,067 called in the company elves, brought this tormenting curse 891 00:46:29,167 --> 00:46:30,567 upon herself. 892 00:46:30,667 --> 00:46:32,467 She'd been on a bender and staggered home, 893 00:46:32,567 --> 00:46:34,867 pissed, found an eighth and some Rizlas, 894 00:46:34,967 --> 00:46:36,600 and rolled out a spliff. 895 00:46:36,700 --> 00:46:39,567 Got the munchies and reached for the handiest snack. 896 00:46:39,667 --> 00:46:42,700 She ate her own kids and then spat them straight back. 897 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:46,600 "Forgive me, my beautiful, what a dreadful mistake." 898 00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:48,333 The children can't hear her. 899 00:46:48,433 --> 00:46:49,333 They've gone. 900 00:46:49,433 --> 00:46:52,433 It's too late. 901 00:46:52,533 --> 00:46:54,367 Sweet Jesus, no. 902 00:46:54,467 --> 00:46:57,400 Both wrists and a bottle of tablets. 903 00:46:57,500 --> 00:46:59,567 I blame myself. 904 00:46:59,667 --> 00:47:00,467 Dead? 905 00:47:00,567 --> 00:47:01,467 How? 906 00:47:01,567 --> 00:47:04,267 Woman over there says heart attack. 907 00:47:04,367 --> 00:47:07,000 I couldn't understand what I've done wrong! 908 00:47:07,100 --> 00:47:09,500 Boo! Two and half grand and counting! 909 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,233 Steven McBride, I'm arresting you on suspicion-- 910 00:47:12,333 --> 00:47:13,000 Oh no! 911 00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:15,000 I want a lawyer. 912 00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:17,767 He's dead and he's not coming back! 913 00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:24,467 [music playing]