[music playing]
FRANK GALLAGHER (VOICEOVER): Now nobody's
saying that Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden,
but it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, and me
kids, who I'm proud of 'cause every single one of them
reminds me a little of me.
They can all think for themselves,
which they've me to thank for.
Run, run for it.
FRANK GALLAGHER (VOICEOVER): Fiona, who's a massive help.
Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him
Phillip anymore.
Ian, a lot like his mum, which is
handy for the others 'cause she's
disappeared into thin air.
And Carl, we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons.
One, it stands on end and makes it look like Toyah.
Two, nits love it.
Debbie, sent by God, total angel.
You've to check your change, but she'll go miles out
of her way to do you a favor.
Plus Liam-- gonna be a star once we've
got the fits under control.
[screaming]
Steve, Fiona's boyfriend, the truth is out there--
not.
Fantastic neighbors, Kevin, Veronica.
Lend you anything-- well, not anything.
But all of them to a man, know first and foremost one
of the most vital necessities in this life
is they know how to throw a party.
[laughs]
[inaudible]
[music playing]
VERONICA (VOICEOVER): Now, I'm not really a jealous person,
but living next door to Fiona gave me a cross to bear.
Every bloke she met seems to want to marry her.
She had that kind of face.
I thought I have that kind of face, you know.
But Kev never once mentioned marriage in all the years
I've known him, which never used to bother me till the day
I realized that, well, you either
love each other or you don't.
And if you don't, it's time to find your running shoes,
isn't it?
[music playing]
[interposing voices]
You seen our Veronica?
Try the disco.
[music playing]
Veronica, [inaudible] a bit bleeding louder?
Don't you remember this?
Down Jackals eat off our faces?
Just telling Fiona it's the first time we got off together.
I must have been off my cake before dancing to this.
Have you seen me shirt?
What shirt?
Me Friday shirt for work.
I got it out early and it's disappeared.
What's in there?
Bedding.
I wanted to stick them in Fiona's.
That one of ours will rip them to shreds.
Veronica.
[music playing]
Must have thought it was a pillowcase.
With sleeves?
It's been downhill ever since.
[kissing sounds]
[music playing]
Hey, that was sexual--
Mandy!
I was hoping you'd be here.
Wanted to say thanks for earlier--
stepping in with Hardman.
Oh, it were nothing.
You're joking.
None of the other lads would've done that.
You're like like my knight in shining armor.
Did you know you've got a hero working for you?
Stood up for me earlier in biology.
Hard-on Hardman-- he's a right dirty old bastard.
Did you have to stay long in detention?
About an hour or so.
I just listened to my walkman.
What are you doing when you get off here?
I don't know 'cause he's a bit of a slave driver,
so I'm never too sure what time I'm gonna finish.
Listen, Mandy, I best get on.
OK, but see you later then, sexy.
Excuse me, ladies.
Excuse me.
I'll just take these off you.
Take anything you want off me, darling.
What's your name, love?
Kev.
Oh, girls, girls, I've found a new one--
Kev!
Listen Kev, I'm working my way through the alphabet,
and I ain't had a K yet.
Do you fancy helping me out?
Well, I'll tell you what.
If you're still stuck after the other 25, give us a shout.
Hey, Zack.
Zack, you might be in here, mate.
[laughter]
[music playing]
Night.
Gotcha!
Jesus, Mandy.
[laughter]
You scared me half to death.
Waited for you.
Come on, I'll walk you home.
Wind's Gardens, isn't it?
She fancies the arse off you.
Over there, Tina.
Shall I tell her you're interested?
Reckons you're like a little boy in need of mothering.
She's a right dirty cow though.
What do you reckon, Kev?
Shall I tell her you're up for it?
KEVIN: No, I can't.
Why not?
KEVIN: I just can't.
Hey, Tina.
No, no, no--
well, listen.
Look, I'm-- I'm getting married, aren't I?
Married?
KEVIN: Veronica, great girl.
Love her to bits.
Hey, did he just say he was getting married?
Well, it's first I've heard.
Well, are you just gonna stand there
or are you gonna break out the bubbly?
Come on, this needs marking, doesn't it?
Patty, Reg, Kev's getting married.
Hey, here he comes.
Hey, here comes the bride.
[humming "wedding march"]
Hey, Carol.
Frank, no!
Frank!
Your Veronica--
Kev's gonna make an honest woman of her!
Oh!
Jesus Christ, he's done it!
He's finally gone and done it!
Kevin Alan Ball, give me a big kiss!
My new son-in-law!
Carol--
Oh, you know, he's made me the happiest mother in the world!
Mind you, it's about bloody time.
Here, give us your phone.
I want to ring Veronica.
You can't!
She'll want to tell you herself.
Yes!
Kev, the barman!
He's getting married!
Congratulations, Kev!
[moaning on tv]
Do-- do you want another?
Cheers.
Don't be long.
What the fuck--
Piss off!
I want to see the end of this!
All right. God.
Jesus.
Where are you going?
Bed, apparently.
You Kev?
Yeah, why?
Me brother said you're getting married.
Top quality, good as new.
[inaudible], didn't you?
Do you want to try it on?
[cheering]
[music playing]
I just want to free you.
We'll never--
[cheering]
I'm getting married!
[cheering]
Yeah.
You're dead, you are.
One size fits all.
[cheering]
[music playing]
--and our life ever after.
There's a hole in my soul.
You can see it in my face.
It's a real big place.
Mandy, Mandy.
It's OK.
I've got some in me bag.
Three-pack.
No, uh, I can't.
I can't. I'm sorry.
- Ian! - Oh, shit!
I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!
I didn't mean to-- - What's up?
What's the matter? What is it?
Don't you fancy me [inaudible]?
[music playing]
What are you looking it?
Ooh!
[music playing]
[bell ringing]
All right!
Who is it?
Hello?
No, there's nobody there, love.
Go back to bed.
No, it's nothing.
No, it's probably just kids.
Get the baseball bat if you want, but I
don't think you'll need it--
Veronica!
Kev, you scared the-- what are you doing down there?
Veronica Fisher, will you do me the honor of being my wife?
Is this a wind-up?
'Course I will, you daft bugger.
[music playing]
- What's going on? - Don't know.
They look happy.
Just think, that could be you and Mandy Maguire.
Ah! - Funny.
Dick.
Watch the door!
Ah!
[music playing]
WOMAN: You're like a little boy who needed mothering.
KEVIN: No, no, no.
Veronica Fisher, will you do me the honor of being my wife?
FRANK GALLAGHER: Hey, Carol!
Can you--
--son-in-law!
KEVIN: I'm getting married!
[cheering]
Right! Come on!
Hurry up!
Sit down!
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Can we have a bit of hush, please?
All right. Everyone settled?
We've got an announcement to make.
We've got-- - Oh, do we not need drinks?
VERONICA: Kev! KEV: Pop for a toast.
Are you getting married?
Debbie!
Is that it?
Yes!
Kev and me are getting married!
[cheering]
A real wedding. [inaudible]
Oh!
Can I be the bridesmaid?
Nice one, Kev.
VERONICA: Sorry, kiddo.
Maybe next time.
Congratulations, Kev!
KEVIN: Well done.
VERONICA: Oh!
Come here, monkey boy.
[music playing]
How long's it take to get a divorce?
I think you have to get married first, Kev.
I'm already married.
[music playing]
I don't even know where she is.
Last time I heard, she was in Carlisle.
All right, look--
I know a decent solicitor, a mate of mine.
If you want, I can give him a call.
FIONA: You're never gonna get away with doing
it behind her back, Kev.
Why have you never told her?
Oh, fuck knows.
[inaudible]
You're gonna have to tell her before she broadcasts
it to the entire estate.
[door opening]
[inaudible] So this is where you're hiding.
KEV: Yeah, might be a bit late for that.
[music playing]
What do you think?
Think it might need a few alterations?
Right.
On my side, we've got me mum, Uncle Terry, Mick and Sylvia,
Janet, Rhonda, Clem and Pete.
And then there's me brothers, Barry, Mitch, little Leo.
No one's talking to Aunt Phyl.
And Marty's still in prison.
What about your side?
Kev!
Whoever.
Well, who do you want to invite?
'Cause I'm telling you now, your Kelly's
not going, for starters.
Well, you do the list, then, and you'll get your won way,
won't you?
What is your problem?
I haven't got a problem.
Can't see your face!
I'm not joking around, Kev.
If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it together.
There is no way I'm sorting it all out on me own.
Just because we're getting married,
I'm not gonna turn into one of those women
that shuffles round trying to-- - Veronica.
What?
I've got to go to work.
It's Kev, Kev Ball.
Yeah, sorry to ring you out of the blue.
Uh, you haven't got a contact number for your Roxie,
have you?
You're joking.
GBH?
What happened?
Golf club?
Jesus.
She took 'em clean off?
Um, when you visit her, can you pass on a message for me?
Yeah.
Tell her I want a divorce.
[music playing]
You Ian Gallagher?
You're fucking dead!
Get here, you!
Did you think you could [inaudible]
with that Mandy girly girl?
Well, you picked the wrong one this time.
- Fuck off, Paki! - You're dead for this!
Do you hear me?
You hear me, Gallagher?
You're dead!
Leave him!
He'll be out the back and down the street by now.
Tell him he's a marked man.
KASH: Ian!
Ian!
[knocking]
It's all right.
They've gone.
I put the lock on.
I didn't touch her, Kash.
I swear, she just-- - It's all right.
Come here.
[music playing]
[inaudible]
IAN: Why don't I like her?
Why couldn't I touch her? - You know why.
No, I don't.
'Cause lots of real lads fancy her.
Why can't I?
Because you're--
What, a puff?
Like you?
With a wife and two kids?
'Cause maybe that's what I want.
Maybe, if I try hard enough, I can
convince myself I'm straight. 'Cause I tell you what, Kash--
it's make my life a fuck of a lot easier.
You think?
Easier?
Lying to your family for the next 20 years?
Listening to people in the shop and in the pub making
jokes about how filthy it is without being
able to say anything?
Sleeping with a woman every night of your life,
even though you don't like the feel of her skin?
You think that's easy?
[music playing]
LIP: Mandy Maguire called around earlier.
Said she got the wrong brother [inaudible]
and wanted to know what a man could do.
[bell ringing]
I'm gonna kill you!
You wanker!
[music playing]
What did they do?
Ian, what did they say?
What do you think?
I wasn't even bothered about getting
married to Lee [inaudible].
Now it's like I'm jerking him down the bleeding aisle.
Don't know what's up with him?
Past few days, had a face like a slapped ass.
Maybe he doesn't really want to get married.
Maybe he only asked you 'cause he thinks that's what you want.
Nine years, no ring on your finger.
Most women would have ditched him by now.
Thought about it over the years.
But it's never really mattered.
I mean, you just know, don't you,
whether someone's right or not?
If it works, it works.
Way things are between us, it's perfect.
So why change it?
What's the one thing that breaks up long-term couples?
Other Other than the pressies and the piss-up,
give me three good reasons why you want to get married.
[music playing]
Kev, come out.
What?
Why are we getting married?
I think I was excited 'cause you're meant to be.
You know, the idea of it all.
Nice dress, fancy ring, people looking at you
like you're somewhat special.
Mmm.
But when I stopped and thought about it,
it just seemed pointless.
We don't need a piece of paper to tell us we love each other,
do we?
No, that's-- that's exactly what I was--
hang on.
This isn't a test, is it?
One of them women things where you pretend that you
don't want to do something and see if I'll try and talk you
round?
Well, if it is, you've just failed.
Well, what'll we tell people?
We've changed our minds.
Actually, don't tell 'em anything
till they've bought the presents.
Size of my family, we'll get the whole house kitted out.
Do you know what?
I love the ass off you.
How could you not?
[bell ringing]
Ignore it.
CAROL: Veronica!
Veronica!
Hurry up!
I'm gonna wet meself out here!
Picture the scene-- beautiful church, sun shining,
all your friends and family gathered together,
Kev waiting at the from in his new beige suit,
nervous, excited.
[MUSIC PLAYING - "WEDDING MARCH"]
And suddenly, you appear, the blushing bride--
radiant, voluptuous.
You walk in, arm in arm with your father,
and down the aisle.
He's proud.
He's tearful.
He's dead.
Well, that's what he would've wanted,
had the good Lord not seen fit to take him away from us.
So he left you this instead.
He never made a will because he didn't
want people squabbling over it.
So he put that aside.
You know what he was like, old-fashioned.
Reckoned any father worth his salt
should be able to pay for his daughter's wedding.
Five grand!
He was a good man, Veronica.
And he wanted me to keep that until the time was right.
[happy piano music playing]
How do I turn this thing off?
[music playing]
Yeah, all right!
Ian Gallagher.
Tell Ian Gallagher we want him out here now.
Ian?
Have you seen him?
Listen, if you see him, you tell him
I'm looking for him, all right?
All right?
[music playing]
Long story.
[music playing]
Why'd you lie, Mandy?
Why'd you tell 'em I attacked you?
Get Get him away from me.
Tell 'em the truth, Mandy!
Please, they're gonna kill me!
Get him away from me!
You need locking up, you fucking pervert.
[music playing]
Kev!
Look.
[inaudible] Buy your own house.
[inaudible]
Right to buy scheme.
Council is selling of the houses.
So?
So five grand plus the bit we've got in the bank,
we could almost buy our place outright, on our own, Kev.
What do you think?
A quick walk down the aisle, couple of I
do's, be worth it to get our own place.
But we've got to get a move on.
Closing date's end of the month What's up?
I can't marry you, Veronica.
There's something you should know.
[music playing]
Fuck me.
Fucking hell.
Roxie Benson.
I remember her from school.
She were gorgeous.
She were a head case.
She used to throw plates at me.
She couldn't handle her drink.
Tell you, talk about fiery.
That's-- that was what got that scar on the back of me neck.
Oh, the amount of times I nearly told you over the years.
But, you know, the further away that they got, the more unreal
it seemed.
That's the only thing that I have
got to prove it ever happened.
[music playing]
VERONICA: You look right [inaudible]
on there, don't you?
Fucking mullet.
That's worse than finding out you were married.
I'm sorry.
Look, I just--
I didn't want anything to spoil it for us.
So I buried it.
How long will it take to divorce her?
Six months.
I don't know, maybe longer.
I think we'll have to forget about buying our house.
Oh, I'm--
[music playing]
Hang on.
What?
Well, we don't actually have to get married.
If me mum wants a wedding, why don't we give her a wedding?
[music playing]
FIONA: You're gonna fake it?
Why not?
You can't.
Why not?
We'll still be married.
It just won't be legal.
[laughter]
[music playing]
Dress, rings, photographer, the works.
It's got to be like the real thing, except cheaper.
To
[music playing]
Your wedding car, madam.
Oh, Steve!
STEVE: It might have to be in black.
Whatever!
[music playing]
Quentin, how do you fancy a couple of month's free rent?
Repeat after me.
I, Veronica Carol Fisher, take this man, Kevin Alan Ball--
VERONICA: Take this man, Kevin Alan Ball.
OFFICIANT: --to be my lawfully wedded husband.
Isn't it illegal to impersonate a vicar?
You're not a vicar.
You're a registrar.
Even so.
Hello, Hello, Gallagher.
Tell your brother no one gives us the runaround
Either he shows his face tomorrow,
or we'll fucking kill him!
You understand? - Yeah.
- You understand? - Yeah.
Good.
[music playing]
VERONICA: Is there something you're not telling us?
IAN: It just got out of hand.
It's Mandy Maguire.
She's not someone you say no to.
I don't know why you'd want to.
Jailbait. - Kev!
Oh, come on. You can't say she ain't foxy.
Right.
Ian, why don't I just swing around there, see
if they can't listen to reason?
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, [inaudible]..
You'll come back in beanbags.
Yeah, so what, Kev? Roll over and die?
You can't just give in to these people.
KEV: Tell you what. I'll go round.
I know their old man from the pub.
He's all right.
Well, as violent pissheads go.
Hmm?
[music playing]
[dog barking]
[growling]
[music playing]
Where is he?
Where the bleeding hell is he?
He's got his stub due in an hour.
Here you go.
Uh, do you want another one?
Ta.
I wouldn't know if anything's happened to him.
Hey? The eldest is a maniac.
He [inaudible] and only got off 'cause
he intimidated a witness.
Veronica!
Hey!
He started this mess!
I'm gonna end up a widow before me even married!
FIONA: Ahem. Well Well, you know-- married.
All right. All right.
Now take your time with this one, all right?
You never know-- you might have to identify the body.
[honking]
[knocking]
Lip!
Oh, it's the police!
Oh, no!
All right.
It's all right.
It's only Helmut.
He's got Kev with him.
Oh, thank God for that.
I pictured meself at his funeral.
And black does nothing for me legs.
I thought we were gonna be there all night.
Tony gave me a lift back.
VERONICA: What happened?
Well, I goes round there.
I asked if I can have a word, you know, private and that.
Anyway, fair enough.
He invites me in.
And they're all sat there in row, every single one of 'em
on the couch, arms folded.
[inaudible] Alsatian at me feet, growling.
So I explained the situation.
I put Ian's case forward.
Misunderstanding, blah, blah, blah.
Didn't mean to offend her.
They listened, fair dues.
They offered us a beer and a spliff.
And, well, basically-- well, I agreed to keep
my fucking nose out of it.
Kev.
VERONICA: Is that it?
KEV: Well, what could I do?
Hey, but he [inaudible] a camcorder for the wedding,
though.
You used this wanker as--
I thought you were dead!
I can't believe I'm marrying you.
You're not.
MAN: Ian!
You see this badge?
Now, I know it doesn't count for a lot around here these days.
But we haven't lost the fight yet, you know.
Well, a word in the right ear could make things go away.
I didn't want you getting involved.
Why not?
We don't need the police fighting our battles for us.
No, not the police.
Me, Tony.
Do you fancy coming out tomorrow?
Police are having this friends and family day in town park.
Oh, a bite to eat, a few drinks.
You can let your hair down.
They usually have a rifle range so you can get your [inaudible]
It's Kevin and Veronica's wedding tomorrow.
We're off out on the hen night now.
Right, right.
So do you fancy it or not?
[music playing]
OK, [inaudible].
Oh!
[inaudible]
[music playing]
There's only one way out of this.
You know that, don't you?
[music playing]
Tell them.
[music playing]
Where am I sleeping?
Dad's bed's free.
Bugger off!
You can always kick in with me.
Yeah, as long as you keep your hands to yourself.
[inaudible]
[music playing]
Oh, shit.
[banging]
[music playing]
PA: The 545 service to London is leaving
from bay C in five minutes.
545 service to London is leaving from bay C in five minutes.
[music playing]
Mandy?
Move.
Shift away now!
I mean it, Gallagher!
Try anything and you're dead!
Fuck, I'm dead anyway!
You brothers will see to that!
Mandy, please, please.
There's something-- I need to talk to you properly.
Please.
I'm gay.
[music playing]
That the best you can come up with?
Mandy, if I was gonna make something up,
do you think I'd-- I'm hanging myself here.
You know that because no one knows--
no one in school, no one on the estate.
Lip only knows 'cause he worked it out.
You're the only person I've ever told.
Like, told, like said it to out loud.
Look.
[music playing]
Huh?
You just don't got the right equipment.
You don't look the gay type.
Is that better?
Piss off.
You know what I mean.
People will suss it out, though.
15, no girlfriend.
[inaudible] at school to go [inaudible]..
You know what you need?
What?
A girlfriend.
You know, like film stars do when
they don't want people knowing.
[music playing]
What do you get out of it?
Do you know what it's like being me?
All them morons hitting on me, trying to get into me knickers.
I want to find someone nice, someone interesting, someone
like you, except not gay.
Do you fancy coming to a wedding?
[crashing sound]
Oh, shit.
[music playing]
[crashing noises]
[music playing]
[screaming]
[music playing]
Kev!
It's me, Marty!
How you doing, mate?
[music playing]
Couldn't you have rung the doorbell or something
like any normal person?
Didn't want to wake you up, Kev.
You know I'm mighty thoughtful of [gibberish]..
You got any sugar?
Yeah.
Cheers.
Yeah, me mum rang, told me you were getting married.
Said send a card.
But I'm thinking, sot that.
Big sister getting hooked? Gonna be there.
[gibberish]
Hey, wouldn't have missed this for the world.
You know what they say about Marty--
Marty!
Never misses a party.
Where have you come from, anyway?
Last time I heard, you were in prison.
Yeah, I was.
Five stretch.
When'd you get out?
Last night.
[music playing]
- What? - I need to talk to Veronica.
It's the day of the wedding. It's bad luck.
What have you got on your face?
Oh.
What's he in for?
Aggravated burglary and arson.
Do you remember the [inaudible] office
going up on election day? - Yeah.
VERONICA: That were him.
He loves setting fire to things.
KEV: He's a maniac.
He came at me.
Almost felt me heart stopping there.
And then we're having a brew, when he starts all--
What's that?
VERONICA: Tourette's coupled with hypermania.
He's a psychologist's wet dream.
What are you gonna do?
Oh, ship him out, preferably back to prison.
Because if there's one person you can rely on to really
fuck things up, it's Marty.
You can't stay, Marty.
You're in prison.
It's only a [inaudible],, Veronica.
They practically give you your own key.
Oh, you've got to go back, Marty.
It was nice of you to make the effort.
Mhm.
But if they catch you, that's your parole gone.
How long have you got left?
18 mon-- no, 20!
Exactly.
No time.
Yeah, but it's your wedding day, Veronica.
[gibberish]
They'll be looking for you.
Why don't you go back, hand yourself in.
Tell 'em it was a mistake, moment of madness,
won't happen again.
Me and Kev will back you up, make
sure they'll listen to you?
You know it's for the best.
[gibberish]
Drink up.
If we get our skates on, we can have you back before breakfast.
I am not going back, Ronnie!
It's your wedding day.
I'm not missing your wedding day.
All right?
What time is it?
Quarter to 12:00.
VERONICA: Oh, we've got two hours.
Veronica, we're just gonna have to let him come,
and we'll sort it out after.
No way, Kev.
We're not having that nutcase at my wedding!
One wrong word, and everything will go ballistic!
Can you imagine the service?
Do you, Veronica [gibberish] Fisher take this man,
Kevin [gibberish] Ball--
Sorry.
That wouldn't be so bad.
We'll be laughed out of the bloody building!
No.
He's going back to prison, even if I
have to drag him there meself.
Are you all right in there, Marty?
Marty, are you OK?
Whereabouts, V?
Just standing up as soon as you walk in.
- It's not. - It what?
MARTY: Nice wedding dress, Veronica.
Burn a treat, this will.
You try and send me back to prison, dress goes up.
The house goes up.
We all go up.
Marty, open the door.
Open the bleeding door!
You shouldn't talk about Marty like that.
Marty doesn't like it.
And you're not getting married without me!
[gibberish]
LIP: [laughing] Sorry.
[music playing]
VERONICA: What's he doing?
He's just sitting there lighting matches.
Jesus Christ.
He's gonna burn down the bleeding house!
This is what he did at me granddad's funeral!
He gutted half the hospice!
Let's just call the cops.
At least that we'll get shut of him.
Kev's right.
If the house goes up, we're not gonna be
able to get him out of there.
But what about the wedding?
This is our big day!
Don't take it out on me!
He's your brother!
Oh, he's always been like this!
Anyone else being the center of attention,
everything has to be about him, always bloody him!
[inaudible]
Oy, oy.
What's-- what's going on?
A bit of a problem.
Is there any chance we can put things an hour, Steve?
The room's only booked till 3:00.
We're gonna be hard-pressed to change things at this stage.
What-- what's happened?
LIP: Veronica, your mum's here. VERONICA: Jesus.
Get him out of here!
Fiona, tell her i can't see her.
Tell her anything.
Just get rid of her!
Never get married.
Carol, Veronica wants you coordinating
things at the other end.
All right.
VERONICA: The whole thing's ruined.
We've got to be there in an hour.
And I've got that wanker stuck in me bathroom!
Oh, I know.
Call it Catholic guilt, but I am starting to think there's
a message in here somewhere.
All I want is to own me own home!
For us, somewhere we can feel safe,
somewhere we can call our own, maybe fetch [inaudible]..
I thought you didn't want any kids.
Based on what?
On you saying how much you hate 'em.
Yeah, other people's.
But I might not mind a baby Kev running around.
Oh.
What are we gonna do, Kev?
Shall we call it off?
Tell everyone we've had second thoughts?
No chance.
In an hour's time, we're getting married.
And there's nothing gonna stop that.
Remember when we were kids?
How you'd always tagalong wherever I went?
I know I look angry and that.
Shouted at ya.
I always looked tough to ya, didn't I, Marty?
You know why?
Because I'm your big sister, and I
didn't want you to get in any trouble because I love ya.
And that's why I want to go back to prison.
But I've been thinking about the wedding,
and you know something?
You're right, because my wedding day
wouldn't be my wedding day without my little brother
there.
In fact, I'd like you to be the one to give me away.
Marty?
You mean it?
Cross me heart.
Oh, come here, [inaudible].
You bitch.
You lying, two-faced [gibberish] I'll
burn your fucking house down.
I'll burn--
Performance for a lifetime.
Just call me Nurse [inaudible]..
Right.
Let's get him over here.
Nice one, V.
Yeah.
Mid 20s, probably a drinker.
It looks like he might be dead.
[inaudible],, he's frightening the kiddies.
All right.
[music playing]
What are you here?
Everyone said come for a drink.
Yeah, one, then piss off home.
Hiya, gorgeous.
Watch your name? - Quentin.
Quentin?
With a Q?
You'd think they'd have toilet paper on special occasions.
Tina.
Your husband just turned up.
What?
[inaudible].
You what?
[laughing]
[grunting]
So, what do you think, Mrs. Ball?
You happy?
Very happy.
Hey.
This is for you.
Official.
It's been a perfect day.
I only wish our Marty could have been here.
[interposing voices]
Fire.
Get out.
[interposing voices]
CAROL (VOICEOVER): We never got to keep the money in the end.
We had to pay for Marty's little firework display in the toilet,
so we never got to buy the house.
But at least we got our day to remember,
and I wouldn't change that.
Not for anything.
Here's a pint for the [inaudible]..
We are now looking for a three-year-old boy.
Debbie must have planned this.
She nabbed her kids.
Answering to the name of--
Jody!
What will they do to her if they find her?
If that kid is one of mine, I want
that guy's bollocks in a bag.
This is all we need.
Are you right in the bloody head?
She's not screwy, and she didn't steal him,
she borrowed him accidentally.
[inaudible] some chocolate buttons.
Who saw you?
Nobody.
We just ran.
Please contact us immediately.
We need your help.
Who the fuck are you?
[theme music]
Filthy pig.
Piggie.
[snorting]
Shut it, smart ass.
Buckets.