1 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:05,900 [music playing] 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,567 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Now, nobody's saying that Chatsworth estate 3 00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:10,833 is the Garden of Eden, but it's been a good home to us-- 4 00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:11,967 to me-- 5 00:00:12,067 --> 00:00:14,967 Frank Gallagher and me kids who I'm 6 00:00:15,067 --> 00:00:17,833 proud of, because every single one of them 7 00:00:17,933 --> 00:00:20,267 reminds me a little of me. 8 00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:22,600 They can all think for themselves, which 9 00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:23,933 they have me to thank for. 10 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:24,867 Run! 11 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:26,233 Run for it. 12 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,500 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Fiona, who's a massive help. 13 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,933 Lip who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody 14 00:00:31,033 --> 00:00:33,100 calls him Philip anymore. 15 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,000 Ian, a lot like his mom, which is handy for the others 16 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,700 because she's disappeared into thin air. 17 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,033 And Carl. 18 00:00:39,133 --> 00:00:40,633 We don't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 19 00:00:40,733 --> 00:00:43,600 One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toya. 20 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:44,967 Two, nits love him. 21 00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:48,367 Debbie, sent by God, total angel. 22 00:00:48,467 --> 00:00:50,733 You have to check your change, but she'll go miles out 23 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,267 of the way to do you a favor. 24 00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:55,900 Plus Liam, going to be a star once we've got the fits 25 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,667 under control. 26 00:00:57,767 --> 00:01:02,800 Steve, Fiona's boyfriend, the truth is out there-- 27 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:04,000 not. 28 00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:06,500 Fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica, 29 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,867 lend you anything-- well, not anything. 30 00:01:08,967 --> 00:01:13,000 Look, all of them to a man, know first and foremost one 31 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:15,867 of the most vital necessities in this life 32 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:19,000 is to know how throw a party. 33 00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:22,700 [laughter] 34 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,567 FIONA (VOICEOVER): You know when you drop a pen 35 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:39,167 and you know where you dropped it, but it's just not there? 36 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,967 That's how mom vanished. 37 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:45,433 Went for a loaf, never seen since. 38 00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:48,000 Dad did a superb job of taking on the role 39 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,600 of both our parents. 40 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:52,200 Did sod all, twice over. 41 00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:57,100 You'd think, wouldn't you, that two times 42 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,300 zero would be no loss at all. 43 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,300 But I think that old saying is true, 44 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,133 you don't know what you've got until it's gone. 45 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,567 Lip, kettle. Come on. 46 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:12,500 I'll do that. 47 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,400 That's all right. 48 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,633 You sit down. 49 00:02:14,733 --> 00:02:15,833 Hey, Fi. 50 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,533 No vinegar, who's no vinegar? 51 00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:18,433 CARL: Me 52 00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:20,133 DEBBIE: Me. 53 00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,600 STEVE: Fish without batter. 54 00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:23,633 FIONA: Me. 55 00:02:23,733 --> 00:02:24,633 Come on, shift up. 56 00:02:24,733 --> 00:02:25,567 Make room for the little one. 57 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:26,500 Oi. 58 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,533 Oi, oi. 59 00:02:27,633 --> 00:02:30,033 Only if you finish your chips, come on. 60 00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,600 Who's this? LIP: It's Karen. 61 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:32,767 FIONA: Hi Karen, nice top. 62 00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:34,067 What size are you? 63 00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:35,300 [laughter] 64 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,233 Shut up. 65 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:41,467 Billy. 66 00:02:41,567 --> 00:02:43,933 Have a drink. 67 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,400 Go on, have one. 68 00:02:51,533 --> 00:02:52,700 Jess, have a go. 69 00:02:56,733 --> 00:02:59,600 [shouting] 70 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,467 BOTH: When you're ready. 71 00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:04,033 NEWS ANCHOR (ON TELEVISION): The Blair-Brown government 72 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:05,567 came to power, promising to redress 73 00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:07,533 Britain's position in the European league tables 74 00:03:07,633 --> 00:03:08,600 on poverty. 75 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,100 But debates in the House of Commons today 76 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,400 could seriously affect the way one 77 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:12,867 in three of this country's families 78 00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,600 may have to live for the worse. 79 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,400 [cheering] 80 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,533 Let the dog see the rabbit, mate. 81 00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:26,033 [music playing] 82 00:03:31,267 --> 00:03:33,100 Four kids and half a wage? 83 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,067 What am I supposed to do for food 84 00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:37,067 if they cut the single parent benefit by 30%? 85 00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:38,500 STEVE: Hello, Frank. 86 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,433 Are you okay? 87 00:03:39,533 --> 00:03:41,233 Is that my t-shirt? 88 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,867 Yeah. 89 00:03:42,967 --> 00:03:45,733 I just meant what happened? 90 00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:46,700 [screaming] 91 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:47,967 FIONA: Jesus, Frank. 92 00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:49,533 A bloke in the pub told me to pass it on, 93 00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:51,867 wants you to keep your filthy little dick away 94 00:03:51,967 --> 00:03:52,933 from his daughter. 95 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:53,900 You're pissed, Frank. 96 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,233 Don't do this to your kids. 97 00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,633 - This is pissed? - Leave it, Steve! 98 00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:57,567 Just go! 99 00:03:57,667 --> 00:03:59,067 Debbie, no! 100 00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:00,033 Stop it! 101 00:04:00,133 --> 00:04:01,400 Get him off! BOTH: No! 102 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,567 Get him out of here, now! - You're pathetic, mate. 103 00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:04,367 Big lad, Steve, eh? 104 00:04:04,467 --> 00:04:06,033 Need a big lad now, do you? 105 00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:07,633 FIONA: Just go, Steve. - Yeah, look at him. 106 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:08,733 He's shitting himself. 107 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:09,867 You're a total of organs, Frank. 108 00:04:09,967 --> 00:04:10,800 FIONA: I mean it, Steve! Get out now. 109 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:11,933 Yeah, all right. 110 00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:13,500 WOMAN(ON TELEVISION): Tony Blair going 111 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,933 next door to me and saying, here you go, I've got me gold card. 112 00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:20,767 You should have twatted him back. 113 00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,600 If I ever do that, I'll kill him. 114 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:27,733 So, seven years for murder, get laid as often as you want, 115 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:30,100 tattoos, everything. 116 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,333 Gay heaven. 117 00:04:32,433 --> 00:04:35,300 [music playing] 118 00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:40,667 Ugh. 119 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,233 No. 120 00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:47,167 Ugh. 121 00:05:01,833 --> 00:05:02,633 Yeah. 122 00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:29,000 [whistling] 123 00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:33,867 FIONA: How's it going, Conrad? 124 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,133 Oh, not so bad, you know? 125 00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:36,433 Shirley any better? 126 00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:37,933 No, still pissed off about being sectioned. 127 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,500 But what can I do, Veronica? 128 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,133 Once we got my mom in there she looked ten years younger. 129 00:05:42,233 --> 00:05:43,233 What ward is she on? 130 00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:44,367 16 131 00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:46,700 Well, she'll look about 30 years younger, then. 132 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,933 [laughter] 133 00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:49,967 [music playing] 134 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,467 VERONICA: Looks sore, though. 135 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:52,833 How many stitches? 136 00:05:52,933 --> 00:05:54,100 Seven, cheese knife. 137 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,500 Oh, Conrad. 138 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,867 Oh, I'll live. 139 00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:59,667 Not if Shirley ever gets out. 140 00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:02,167 [laughter] 141 00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,467 CONRAD: See you later. 142 00:06:17,900 --> 00:06:18,800 Cheers, gorgeous. 143 00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:25,267 CONRAD (SINGING): I'm horny, horny, horny, horny, tonight. 144 00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:28,867 I'm horny, horny, horny, horny tonight. 145 00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:32,767 I'm horny, horny, horny, horny tonight. 146 00:06:32,867 --> 00:06:35,667 [ominous music] 147 00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:42,700 Sampson Pickle turned to his mom with a tear in his eye 148 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,267 and said-- 149 00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:49,267 ALL: You don't know what you've got until it's gone. 150 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:54,633 Hey. 151 00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:04,100 [music playing] 152 00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:09,867 FIONA AND CHILDREN (VOICEOVER): You don't know what 153 00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:12,667 you've got until it's gone. 154 00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:19,167 You don't know what you've go until it's gone. 155 00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:22,867 You don't know what you've got until it's gone. 156 00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:23,933 STEVE: Evening, campers. 157 00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:26,533 LIP: Hey, how are you doing, man? 158 00:07:26,633 --> 00:07:27,700 You all right? 159 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:28,967 Ah, not bad. 160 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,933 I bet you hate it when that happens. 161 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,333 They're his tits. 162 00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,300 What? 163 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,233 It's the only reason he does eggs 164 00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:36,100 and he just licked that one. 165 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,300 LIP: With a stonking abscess so a bit more protein 166 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,700 than you banked on, Steve. 167 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,667 [laughter] 168 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:45,267 Hiya. 169 00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:46,167 ALL: Ew! 170 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,467 Sorry about last night. 171 00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:56,833 Hey, look, Brooklyn Beckham's the yardstick on this one. 172 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:59,100 Never apologize for you parents. 173 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,600 So Can get rid of this. 174 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,000 [sigh] 175 00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,067 Has anyone seen Dad since last night? 176 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:19,667 He was asleep behind the settee. 177 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:26,467 It's a tent. 178 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,800 Why have we got a bleeding tent behind the settee? 179 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:32,700 Drying it out. 180 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,033 I'm off camping next week. 181 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:38,033 I thought it was Dad. 182 00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:41,033 I left him a cup of tea this morning. 183 00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:45,467 I thought I heard him say, thanks, Debs. 184 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:48,300 [music playing] 185 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:59,300 Hang on tight, hang on tight. 186 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,500 [moaning] 187 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:07,333 Sorry, came in the back way. 188 00:09:07,433 --> 00:09:08,633 You're not the only one. 189 00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:12,600 Kev, was me dad in the Jockey this afternoon? 190 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,500 This afty? 191 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,567 No, no. 192 00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,133 Did he come back to the pub last night? 193 00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:23,133 KEV (VOICEOVER): Footy until 9:00, pub quiz until 10:00. 194 00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:26,267 Scrapping by half-past, police turned up, and-- 195 00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:27,933 yeah, Frank were there. 196 00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,500 But he was slaughtered. 197 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,733 I mean, slaughtered. 198 00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:32,667 Thanks. 199 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:35,767 Go on, Kev. 200 00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:36,700 Go on, hang on. 201 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:37,600 You hang on, sir. 202 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:38,933 We're going to the moon. 203 00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:40,100 Hey Ted, it's Lip. 204 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,000 You seen me dad? 205 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:43,867 No, since Diana died. 206 00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:45,167 Hiya, Wendy. 207 00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:48,200 Veronica, cleaning services. 208 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,533 Well, ex-cleaning services. 209 00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,767 Eric, it's Lip. 210 00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:52,700 Carol's daughter. 211 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,667 Lip Gallagher. 212 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,100 Kev Ball's girlfriend. 213 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,000 Bought your skybox off you so you could go to Magaluf. 214 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,500 Yeah, hiya. 215 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,733 Listen, you didn't have any admissions to casualty 216 00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:03,967 last night, did you? 217 00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:06,667 Name of Gallagher, black hair, blue eyes, 218 00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:08,633 scruffy, a bit mental. 219 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,833 Could you check the computer for us, could you, Wendy? 220 00:10:10,933 --> 00:10:11,767 Cheers. 221 00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,733 WENDY (ON PHONE): Hello? 222 00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:21,700 Veronica? 223 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,700 Hello? 224 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,667 Are you there? 225 00:10:25,767 --> 00:10:28,233 Veronica? 226 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:29,033 Wendy? 227 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:31,000 Wendy, hiya. 228 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,667 Oh, you haven't? 229 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,367 Oh, never mind. 230 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,233 Thanks anyway. 231 00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:37,333 No. 232 00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:39,700 Ah, do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet? 233 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,633 Oi! 234 00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,700 What is your problem? 235 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,667 Needing to ring the bookies before I go to work. 236 00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:45,667 No phone. 237 00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:46,767 I looked for mobile-- vanished. 238 00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:48,300 I lent your mobile to Lip so he 239 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,200 could ring round and see if anybody knew where Frank was. 240 00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,667 Oh, right, are both my bills being run up next door? 241 00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,033 Oh, your bills? Hello. 242 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:55,433 Why don't they get a friggin' phone? 243 00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:56,500 No frigging money. 244 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,267 Yeah, well me neither at this rate, V. 245 00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,200 Aw, you tight-assed gimp! 246 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,200 Frank is missing, and you-- you need to see somebody. 247 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:03,633 You're bloody weird. 248 00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:05,333 Most normal blokes fall asleep after sex, but not Kev. 249 00:11:05,433 --> 00:11:06,467 Oh, no. 250 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:08,000 Well, if it makes you this snarky, forget it. 251 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,133 Forget sex all together, because I am sick of this! 252 00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:14,033 Freak! 253 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,867 You can't file Frank as a missing person. 254 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:16,800 Why not? 255 00:11:16,900 --> 00:11:18,267 He's always missing. 256 00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:20,633 That is what I said. 257 00:11:20,733 --> 00:11:22,833 What if he's just kipped around a mate's? 258 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,133 He hasn't. 259 00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:25,600 And who would give him a bed? He just hasn't. 260 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:26,767 Oh, come on, Fiona. 261 00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:28,467 We've found him wheelie bins before now. 262 00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:29,400 Never on a Friday. 263 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,967 STEVE: What's Friday got to do with it? 264 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,133 Gyro day. 265 00:11:34,233 --> 00:11:35,533 I hadn't realized it were a Friday. 266 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,000 Let's get the desk sergeant. 267 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,633 What was Frank last wearing? 268 00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:44,167 [music playing] 269 00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:02,533 Shove it up your ass, Kev. 270 00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:04,567 And no favors from me like filling in your fake insurance 271 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,967 claim because you're too thick to do it yourself. 272 00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:07,867 Whoa, Lip! 273 00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:10,167 Lip, wait. 274 00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:11,700 Lip, whoa, whoa, whoa. 275 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,233 Look, look, look. 276 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,633 He can't be far, he's never far. 277 00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:16,667 I know. 278 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,367 But it's Friday. 279 00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:19,933 Oh, right. 280 00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:21,567 Oh, Jesus. 281 00:12:21,667 --> 00:12:22,833 Jez, Frank Gallagher. 282 00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:24,667 Was he on his tod when we turfed him out last night? 283 00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,600 Name me one person who would be seen dead with him 284 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,300 in that state. 285 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,667 Yes, love? 286 00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:32,233 Well, Steve had shut off by then, so he definitely wasn't-- 287 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,467 Steve? 288 00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:34,933 Has anyone seen Frank the Plank since last night? 289 00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:36,667 - No. - Which Steve? 290 00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:37,633 Steve Steve. 291 00:12:37,733 --> 00:12:38,533 Fiona's bloke. 292 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,000 What, in here? 293 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:41,533 Yeah, talking to your dad. 294 00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:42,300 Pleasant enough. 295 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,633 Well, before closing time. 296 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,567 REPORTER (ON TV): And we go to Barry Street, 297 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:52,067 where police have found the body of a yet unidentified person 298 00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:54,033 floating in the water. 299 00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:56,800 It was first discovered at around about 11:30 AM 300 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,100 by a local man. 301 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,067 Is that Barry Street Bridge? 302 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,767 I broke me collarbone falling down them 303 00:13:01,867 --> 00:13:05,333 steps after me very first taste of another woman's tongue. 304 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:15,133 (STUTTERING) Ashley's mum saw somebody in-- 305 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,633 Again, Debbie. 306 00:13:16,733 --> 00:13:23,233 Ashley's mum saw somebody in the canal this afternoon. 307 00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,433 Stupid cow, telling her that. 308 00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:27,167 It won't be him sweet heart or the police 309 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:28,300 would have known by now. 310 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,967 I will deck that bleeding woman. 311 00:13:30,067 --> 00:13:31,733 I owe her a smack anyway for that curtain rail. 312 00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:32,933 I'll go around later. 313 00:13:33,033 --> 00:13:35,033 Does that even sound like your dad? 314 00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,100 Why would he be walking towards the canal 315 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,800 if he lives in the opposite direction? 316 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:40,333 It depends. 317 00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:43,767 How was he looking when you left him in the Jockey, Steve? 318 00:13:43,867 --> 00:13:45,967 When? 319 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,200 Ah, Like nine-ish. 320 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,900 I went over to apologize for the barrie. 321 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Bought him a drink, we made friends, and I shot off home. 322 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,433 Why didn't you say? 323 00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:56,867 STEVE: I saw him for half an hour, tops. 324 00:13:56,967 --> 00:13:57,800 Wasn't the last to. 325 00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,433 How's that helpful? 326 00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:02,267 Kev, when I left the Jockey, was Frank bladdered or not? 327 00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:03,200 No. 328 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,667 No. 329 00:14:05,767 --> 00:14:07,000 Can I borrow you for a sec? 330 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:10,767 East end floater! 331 00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:12,167 Police probing! 332 00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:14,133 Have you heard about it? 333 00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:16,100 East end floater, police probing. 334 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,033 Anyone you know? 335 00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:21,167 BOTH: Oh, god. 336 00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:24,767 It's all right. 337 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,133 FIONA: Oh, Jesus. 338 00:14:31,633 --> 00:14:33,500 Oh-- oh, god. 339 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,467 MAN 1: Oh, you're joking. 340 00:14:39,567 --> 00:14:40,300 MAN 2: What's going on? 341 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,933 MAN 3: What a sack of shit. 342 00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:44,000 MAN 4: Bastards! 343 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:49,200 Police PR prank bullshits the public! 344 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,033 Police PR prank bullshits the public! 345 00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,433 How low can you stoop? 346 00:14:52,533 --> 00:14:55,033 Police PR prank bullshits the public! 347 00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:58,000 Police PR prank bullshits the public! 348 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,567 Manchester Mail! 349 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,567 [cheering] 350 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:06,133 [music playing] 351 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:11,100 [groans] 352 00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:21,033 Oh, my head. 353 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:41,133 Hey, have you go the time on you? 354 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,200 You got the time? 355 00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:47,767 The time-- time on ya? 356 00:15:47,867 --> 00:15:49,367 Fine, right. 357 00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:50,367 Fuck you. 358 00:15:56,867 --> 00:15:59,333 [dog whimpering] 359 00:15:59,433 --> 00:16:01,733 [groans] 360 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,033 Maybe I've had a stroke. 361 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,200 FRANK (VOICEOVER): Last I remember 362 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,367 I'm walking up Belvedere Road. 363 00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:32,167 Paddy is going, night, Frank. 364 00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,967 I go, night, Paddy. 365 00:16:35,067 --> 00:16:36,833 I mean, this is beyond me. 366 00:16:36,933 --> 00:16:39,167 How the fuck did you all get here? 367 00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:40,867 [speaking french] 368 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:42,133 No, no. 369 00:16:42,233 --> 00:16:44,200 I haven't a clue how I got here. 370 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,667 [speaking french] 371 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:46,600 What? 372 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,167 Passport. 373 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:51,567 Oh, you're not listening to a word, are you? 374 00:16:51,667 --> 00:16:53,633 I haven't got a passport. 375 00:16:53,733 --> 00:16:56,767 I've never had a passport. 376 00:16:56,867 --> 00:16:59,033 I don't want a passport. 377 00:16:59,133 --> 00:17:01,733 MAN: That's a Manchester accent, no? 378 00:17:01,833 --> 00:17:02,967 Who said that? 379 00:17:03,067 --> 00:17:03,933 MAN: [speaking french]. 380 00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:05,867 Five years. 381 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:07,033 Mid '80s. 382 00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:10,467 Oh, man, thank you. Just tell him. 383 00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:12,533 Will you just tell him? 384 00:17:12,633 --> 00:17:14,433 [speaking french] 385 00:17:32,533 --> 00:17:35,300 What is it that you need to say first? 386 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,933 Me name's Frank Gallagher. 387 00:17:38,033 --> 00:17:41,233 I live at 2 Windsor Gardens, Stratford. 388 00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,933 Frank Gallagher. 389 00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:46,400 [speaking french] 390 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:57,100 Look, I'm scared because I haven't a clue 391 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,900 what happened last night. 392 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000 I'm pricking myself here, you know? 393 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:07,200 [speaking french] 394 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,233 FRANK: What did he say, mate? 395 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,167 [french] 396 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:22,800 Hey! 397 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:24,367 Come on. 398 00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:26,000 Mistake! 399 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,100 - I know. - Frank? 400 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,200 In France? 401 00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,067 I know. 402 00:18:30,167 --> 00:18:31,633 Well, Calais, so only just. 403 00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:33,833 ALL: How? 404 00:18:33,933 --> 00:18:35,267 Fax from the embassy just says he's 405 00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:36,933 admitting to drugs charges. 406 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,267 But that's before they've accused him, 407 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,867 so they're rightly thinking ahead of the ball. 408 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,700 - They're charging him? - No they want rid. 409 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,333 He'll be escorted through the tunnel about 6:00 410 00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:44,267 in the morning. 411 00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:44,933 When will you get him back here? 412 00:18:45,033 --> 00:18:46,433 We can't. 413 00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:47,733 Not unless you're shelling out for a car, and an officer 414 00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,233 to fetch him. - You could get him. 415 00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:51,233 We could nip across on a day ticket, pick up some booze, 416 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,800 like our Kirstie does. 417 00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:53,800 Could I fuck? 418 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,100 Because-- no offense. 419 00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:03,033 [humming] 420 00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:06,033 Car's not insured, tax disc's a photocopy, 421 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:09,333 and the shockers won't get us passed Asda. 422 00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:12,467 Right, To. 423 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:16,367 [music playing] 424 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:31,600 I just grabbed a shower. 425 00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:33,167 I was coming back around. 426 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:40,667 Becks, can you-- 427 00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:41,567 cheers. 428 00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,733 Who's she? 429 00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:54,500 She's a tenant. 430 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,133 What's up? 431 00:19:56,233 --> 00:19:58,000 How did you get my dad to France? 432 00:19:58,100 --> 00:19:59,433 [laughter] 433 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:00,367 It's me. 434 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,267 Are you serious? 435 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,400 Me? - French health warnings. 436 00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:08,633 Boot of the car. 437 00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,067 How did you get him in the boot? 438 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,800 He was so off his face he'd have jumped in a coffin. 439 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:13,067 He went back out with just a tenner. 440 00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:15,367 Yeah, and I gave him a 20 and a few tabs. 441 00:20:15,467 --> 00:20:16,667 Why France? 442 00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:17,933 My sister lives in Folkestone. 443 00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:20,300 I was going down to see the new kid. 444 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,500 Idea was just drop your dad somewhere weird. 445 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,100 And then I saw the sign to the Channel Tunnel, 446 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,700 and the idea just kind of-- 447 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,067 just kind of snowballed. 448 00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:30,300 And that's funny, Steve? 449 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,067 No, really funny would have been Bosnia. 450 00:20:33,167 --> 00:20:34,433 Just because he took a swing at you? 451 00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,033 No, because he's got a family he doesn't deserve, 452 00:20:36,133 --> 00:20:37,233 and he needs a wake up call before he 453 00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:38,367 wrecks all your lives. 454 00:20:38,467 --> 00:20:39,600 Bollocks. 455 00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:40,933 Because you haven't the guts to just whack him back. 456 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,833 Look, I don't do violence. 457 00:20:42,933 --> 00:20:44,000 BOTH: Ah! 458 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,967 What my dad is, and what my family is 459 00:20:46,067 --> 00:20:50,500 has got fuck all to do with somebody like you! 460 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,867 Bastard! 461 00:20:51,967 --> 00:20:54,000 [shouting] 462 00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:57,167 [timer dinging] 463 00:20:57,267 --> 00:21:00,733 Sorry, can I just-- 464 00:21:00,833 --> 00:21:03,967 It's just that I've got to be out in a quarter of an hour, 465 00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:05,033 so-- 466 00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:17,433 You took him there, you get him back. 467 00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:24,000 [music playing] 468 00:21:26,767 --> 00:21:29,233 CARL: Kev, where's my fucking Playstation 2? 469 00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:30,733 All right, I'll see what I can do. 470 00:21:30,833 --> 00:21:32,667 If they any CDs for under a fiver, will you get us five? 471 00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:33,567 But only chart. 472 00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:34,500 And UK chart. 473 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,500 If there's one-- 474 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,967 Take his birth certificate in case they 475 00:21:37,067 --> 00:21:38,567 need it for identification. 476 00:21:38,667 --> 00:21:41,433 Kev, where's my fucking Playstation 2? 477 00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:42,200 Hey, Steve. 478 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:43,667 Steve, towbar's on. 479 00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:45,367 Trailer lights work like magic. 480 00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,667 Yeah, I've got seven cases of lager for me dad, Kev. 481 00:21:47,767 --> 00:21:48,900 KEV: No. No way, lad. 482 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,667 The only booze I'm bringing back is ours. 483 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:51,967 Hang on a minute, whose is this? 484 00:21:52,067 --> 00:21:52,900 Listen, listen. 485 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:53,800 Oi, oi, oi. 486 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,033 Shut up, listen. 487 00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:57,300 Police have just found a body exactly 488 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,500 fitting Frank's description. 489 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,900 [screaming] 490 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,567 I knew it, I knew it! 491 00:22:04,667 --> 00:22:05,467 I dreamt it! 492 00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:06,533 I dreamt he was dead! 493 00:22:06,633 --> 00:22:07,333 BOTH: Listen-- 494 00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:08,967 FIONA: Has nobody told her? 495 00:22:09,067 --> 00:22:10,100 IAN: I haven't seen her for hours. 496 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,200 They found him, Debs. 497 00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:12,700 Dad's coming home. 498 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,267 I feel rotten now. 499 00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,100 It were a joke, sweet heart. 500 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,733 He's in France. 501 00:22:17,833 --> 00:22:19,267 He's OK. 502 00:22:19,367 --> 00:22:21,333 Stephen, Kev, and Veronica are off to get him, aren't you? 503 00:22:21,433 --> 00:22:22,133 Yeah. 504 00:22:22,233 --> 00:22:24,000 What's he doing in France? 505 00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:25,600 Look, we'll have him home for morning. 506 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:26,800 Promise. 507 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:28,733 I'm really sorry we scared you, Debs. 508 00:22:28,833 --> 00:22:30,133 I'm really, really sorry. 509 00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:33,200 VERONICA: Joke was, it wasn't a bloke. 510 00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:34,500 It were three bags of rags. 511 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,033 So they knew it couldn't be Frank straightaway 512 00:22:36,133 --> 00:22:38,267 because the socks matched. 513 00:22:38,367 --> 00:22:39,633 [laughter] 514 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,533 [music playing] 515 00:22:42,967 --> 00:22:44,367 See what I can do. 516 00:22:55,267 --> 00:22:58,533 Well, no way am I pulling that fucking monstrosity. 517 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:14,833 TONY: Is this Steve bloke a fixture now, then? 518 00:23:14,933 --> 00:23:16,767 Just somebody I met. 519 00:23:16,867 --> 00:23:18,667 Right. 520 00:23:18,767 --> 00:23:21,367 I'm wondering where that leaves me, then, Fiona. 521 00:23:21,467 --> 00:23:23,667 You? What? 522 00:23:23,767 --> 00:23:24,567 Me with you. 523 00:23:30,467 --> 00:23:34,100 Tony, we had a great night out. 524 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,467 Great mates, great laugh. 525 00:23:36,567 --> 00:23:38,367 Sex. 526 00:23:38,467 --> 00:23:40,100 That's it. 527 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,300 Oh, come on. 528 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,367 That's the whole point, isn't it? 529 00:23:42,467 --> 00:23:45,867 One-night-stand, no strings. 530 00:23:45,967 --> 00:23:46,767 You were me first. 531 00:23:50,233 --> 00:23:53,067 First one-night-stand, or first-- 532 00:23:53,167 --> 00:23:54,700 The first. 533 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,767 I only got circumcised when I were 18, so it set me back. 534 00:23:57,867 --> 00:23:59,333 Way back. 535 00:23:59,433 --> 00:24:01,767 So if you really want to take the piss, spread that around. 536 00:24:01,867 --> 00:24:04,033 Hey. 537 00:24:04,133 --> 00:24:07,400 If that was your first, you weren't half bad. 538 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,467 [music playing] 539 00:24:09,567 --> 00:24:10,367 Thanks. 540 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,033 KEV: No place like home, eh, Frank? 541 00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:26,033 STEVE: Good to be back. 542 00:24:26,133 --> 00:24:27,200 Fuck's sake. 543 00:24:34,667 --> 00:24:37,567 [cheering] 544 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,667 [laughter] 545 00:25:51,133 --> 00:25:52,600 [knock on door] 546 00:25:53,633 --> 00:25:55,967 DEBBIE: Are you decent? 547 00:25:56,067 --> 00:25:57,867 I got you this. 548 00:25:57,967 --> 00:25:59,067 It's from France. 549 00:25:59,167 --> 00:26:00,667 I asked Veronica to get it for us. 550 00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:03,000 I don't want nothing French in this house. 551 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:09,667 There's no hot water. 552 00:26:09,767 --> 00:26:11,867 What? 553 00:26:11,967 --> 00:26:14,733 Oh, fuck's sake. 554 00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:16,167 Oh, your gyro. 555 00:26:16,267 --> 00:26:18,900 And it's Saturday, so the post office closes at 12:00. 556 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,267 Is he still here? 557 00:26:20,367 --> 00:26:21,333 Steve? 558 00:26:21,433 --> 00:26:23,133 No, he's just nipped home to get changed. 559 00:26:23,233 --> 00:26:25,033 Well, tell him not to bother coming back. 560 00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:28,167 Dad, he's just spent 500 quid bailing you out. 561 00:26:28,267 --> 00:26:30,300 And why would he do that, eh? 562 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,400 When I woke up in France, in a park, 563 00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:36,867 looking like a fucking tosser, all I could smell 564 00:26:36,967 --> 00:26:38,133 was air freshener. 565 00:26:38,233 --> 00:26:41,333 Middle of the park, orange air freshener. 566 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,900 I've just spent five hours in his car. 567 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,133 Same fucking smell. 568 00:26:48,767 --> 00:26:49,633 He did this. 569 00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:06,133 I wish you'd taken a camera with you in the pictures. 570 00:27:06,233 --> 00:27:07,833 Total shit hole. 571 00:27:07,933 --> 00:27:09,733 Hey, the definition of French foreplay. 572 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:17,167 Bet you're the only one that missed me. 573 00:27:17,267 --> 00:27:18,100 No. 574 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,867 Because Carl said the gas is gone. 575 00:27:19,967 --> 00:27:21,033 Where's the pliers? 576 00:27:21,133 --> 00:27:22,833 And Lip said that Dad's the only one 577 00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:24,267 who knows how to do the meter. 578 00:27:27,067 --> 00:27:28,933 Did you see Paris? 579 00:27:29,033 --> 00:27:29,933 Yeah. 580 00:27:30,033 --> 00:27:32,033 The Eiffel Tower? 581 00:27:32,133 --> 00:27:34,200 Christ, yeah. 582 00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:38,100 Well, you know, I-- you can see right across France 583 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,667 from the top. 584 00:27:39,767 --> 00:27:41,000 Yeah. 585 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,433 I didn't stay up too long, though. 586 00:27:43,533 --> 00:27:45,033 Don't know what the French birds are into, 587 00:27:45,133 --> 00:27:46,467 but they couldn't keep their eyes off me. 588 00:27:46,567 --> 00:27:48,200 They were looking at me, like, (FRENCH ACCENT) Hey, 589 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:49,867 I am having this guy. 590 00:27:49,967 --> 00:27:51,367 Yeah. 591 00:27:51,467 --> 00:27:54,733 Well, it got a bit unnerving, so I legged it back down. 592 00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:57,433 Well, I mean, bits of France are gorgeous, you know? 593 00:27:57,533 --> 00:28:00,333 But you just gotta know your way about. 594 00:28:00,433 --> 00:28:01,733 Do you now? 595 00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:04,833 Every inch. 596 00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:05,900 I have to cash me giro. 597 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,167 Do us a brew for when I get back. 598 00:28:07,267 --> 00:28:08,067 OK. 599 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:14,767 Look, he can't know. 600 00:28:14,867 --> 00:28:16,067 He does. 601 00:28:16,167 --> 00:28:18,067 And even if he doesn't, he thinks you did it. 602 00:28:18,167 --> 00:28:19,500 So it makes no odds. 603 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,600 Well, I gave him three Zopiclone. 604 00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:24,367 Mom-- Mom said don't use more than two 605 00:28:24,467 --> 00:28:26,500 or you won't know your own name for a week. 606 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,867 - Your mom was in on this? - Yeah. 607 00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:30,133 No. 608 00:28:30,233 --> 00:28:33,667 She-- she prescribed the Zopiclone for me. 609 00:28:33,767 --> 00:28:35,400 She's a doctor? 610 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:36,133 Yeah. 611 00:28:36,233 --> 00:28:37,933 Mom, Dad, brother, sister. 612 00:28:38,033 --> 00:28:39,267 They all are. 613 00:28:39,367 --> 00:28:41,267 We're the medical equivalent of a battery farm. 614 00:28:41,367 --> 00:28:43,233 Me included, if I hadn't run a mile. 615 00:28:43,333 --> 00:28:46,067 I quit medical school two years in. 616 00:28:46,167 --> 00:28:49,700 I am that DIY plane from "Chicken Run." 617 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:50,900 You walked away from that? 618 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,133 Yeah. 619 00:28:52,233 --> 00:28:54,033 Sprinted away from that, in the vain hope 620 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:56,167 of finding some personality that wasn't a carbon 621 00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:57,300 copy of my father's. 622 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,600 So you nick cars for a living? 623 00:29:00,700 --> 00:29:03,200 I do what I chose to do. 624 00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:07,133 And my dad's the waste of organs. 625 00:29:07,233 --> 00:29:08,600 Hang on, oi. 626 00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:10,200 Hang on, look, I've apologized. 627 00:29:10,300 --> 00:29:12,300 I've done what you asked, and I've put things right. 628 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,833 Given the choices you've had, it's a bit rich 629 00:29:13,933 --> 00:29:15,800 that you don't like other people living with theirs, 630 00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:18,033 isn't it, Steve? 631 00:29:18,133 --> 00:29:21,567 [music playing] 632 00:29:33,667 --> 00:29:34,467 MAN: Ow! 633 00:29:37,067 --> 00:29:38,633 A couple of days until I find a flat. 634 00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:39,633 PADDY: No way, Frank. 635 00:29:39,733 --> 00:29:40,900 I promised the wife never again. 636 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,067 We had to burn that mattress! 637 00:29:42,167 --> 00:29:43,267 Oh, come on, Paddy. 638 00:29:43,367 --> 00:29:44,500 We're supposed to be mates. 639 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:45,800 I'll kip on the floor. 640 00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:46,700 PADDY: Definitely not. 641 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:47,767 We have carpets now. 642 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,400 Are you off? 643 00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,000 If you lot want to take the piss, carry on. 644 00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:01,667 Carry on without me. 645 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:03,100 LIP: Nobody is. 646 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,100 I don't like the way I've been talked to these days. 647 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:06,033 About what? 648 00:30:06,133 --> 00:30:07,300 When can I have this, Dad? 649 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,567 When can I buy-- well, can I buy that now? 650 00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:10,033 All six of you, yack, yack, fucking yack. 651 00:30:10,133 --> 00:30:11,867 Never mind I'm a single parent, never mind you 652 00:30:11,967 --> 00:30:13,467 wouldn't be here without me. 653 00:30:13,567 --> 00:30:16,300 Surround sound bitching is all the thanks I get. 654 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,100 Life's hard, we know that. 655 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,600 Money's hard, I can only stretch it so far. 656 00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:22,733 Do you know how much we spend a week on shopping? 657 00:30:22,833 --> 00:30:23,933 The lot, that's how much. 658 00:30:24,033 --> 00:30:25,200 45 quid. 659 00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:27,033 Fiona pays 25, me and Ian go a tenner each. 660 00:30:27,133 --> 00:30:29,200 BOTH: Yeah, plus gas, plus electric, rent. 661 00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:30,533 All covered in your giro. 662 00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:31,900 Yeah, right. 663 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,067 - 127 a week. - Goes nowhere. 664 00:30:34,167 --> 00:30:35,533 You haven't got a clue, have you? 665 00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:38,000 Do you know how much you spend a week in the Jockey? 666 00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:39,433 Hey, none of your business. 667 00:30:39,533 --> 00:30:41,667 Roughly 80. 668 00:30:41,767 --> 00:30:42,933 Oh, that's Kevin. 669 00:30:43,033 --> 00:30:45,133 My mate Kev, giving it that behind me back. 670 00:30:45,233 --> 00:30:46,767 Yeah, well, he's pissed on his own chips. 671 00:30:46,867 --> 00:30:47,900 He'll see what it does to his wages 672 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000 when I boycott the Jockey. 673 00:30:49,100 --> 00:30:50,467 - And go where? - The Crown. 674 00:30:50,567 --> 00:30:51,200 You're barred. 675 00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:52,300 FRANK: Crosslands. 676 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,333 LIP: Barred. 677 00:30:53,433 --> 00:30:54,333 Elmo's Head. 678 00:30:54,433 --> 00:30:55,667 It got torched a fortnight back. 679 00:30:58,933 --> 00:30:59,900 I don't need Kev to tell me. 680 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,267 I check your wallet every night. 681 00:31:01,367 --> 00:31:02,167 See? 682 00:31:02,267 --> 00:31:02,933 See? 683 00:31:03,033 --> 00:31:04,033 Come on. 684 00:31:07,133 --> 00:31:09,433 Ah, Frank. 685 00:31:09,533 --> 00:31:12,200 Or French Frank, they're calling you on the radio. 686 00:31:12,300 --> 00:31:14,800 Like an eclipse, Britain went dark without you. 687 00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:16,300 I'm stuck for a bed, George. 688 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,667 Oh, come in, then, man, and fill us in on the gaps, eh? 689 00:31:19,767 --> 00:31:20,933 Is the lad with you, eh? 690 00:31:21,033 --> 00:31:22,033 He's going home. 691 00:31:32,367 --> 00:31:33,667 [thudding] 692 00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:35,233 [frank grunting] 693 00:31:36,133 --> 00:31:37,600 [dogs barking] 694 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,567 [music playing] 695 00:31:44,033 --> 00:31:46,667 You've forgotten you owe him money? 696 00:31:46,767 --> 00:31:49,333 Everybody thinks I owe them fucking money. 697 00:31:52,233 --> 00:31:53,700 He thinks you flogged his telly. 698 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,200 I've been nothing but a friend to that thick Irish dick. 699 00:31:57,300 --> 00:31:58,900 I know who you sold his telly to. 700 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,633 - I won't say it twice, go home. - What? 701 00:32:01,733 --> 00:32:05,033 I won't say it twice. 702 00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:07,600 All right, so people are laughing at you. 703 00:32:07,700 --> 00:32:09,100 But, they only thought France was a laugh 704 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,767 once they knew you were safe. 705 00:32:10,867 --> 00:32:13,200 The t-shirt I want is mug. 706 00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:14,700 I didn't fuck off like your mom did. 707 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,700 I could have shot off and let the council sort you out. 708 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:17,667 I didn't! 709 00:32:17,767 --> 00:32:21,367 And pubs weren't-- ask anyone. 710 00:32:21,467 --> 00:32:23,300 You know, odd pint, that was it. 711 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,667 Three pints, I'd be on the floor. 712 00:32:24,767 --> 00:32:27,133 Brandy made me puke, whiskey gave me a headache. 713 00:32:27,233 --> 00:32:29,100 And they all took the piss then because I 714 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:30,533 couldn't knock it back. 715 00:32:30,633 --> 00:32:32,467 So you can't win. 716 00:32:32,567 --> 00:32:35,567 Your mom fucks off, you're all looking at me. 717 00:32:35,667 --> 00:32:37,233 Six kids. 718 00:32:37,333 --> 00:32:38,733 Six to keep on top of. 719 00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:42,333 [clicking tongue] You never had to do stuff before. 720 00:32:42,433 --> 00:32:43,367 Fucking massive. 721 00:32:43,467 --> 00:32:45,733 Fucking clothes for school. 722 00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:47,033 Massive. 723 00:32:47,133 --> 00:32:49,633 Having to pick you up as you go along, massive. 724 00:32:49,733 --> 00:32:51,867 And I find out me dad's sending her money, 725 00:32:51,967 --> 00:32:53,700 because he's always had a soft spot for her. 726 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,567 So I know he's saying it's my fault. Proving it, 727 00:32:56,667 --> 00:32:57,833 by giving me-- 728 00:32:57,933 --> 00:32:58,800 what? 729 00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:00,567 Fuck all. 730 00:33:00,667 --> 00:33:02,600 He wouldn't even babysit. 731 00:33:02,700 --> 00:33:06,167 One long headache of people looking at me 732 00:33:06,267 --> 00:33:10,367 like I'm fucking up, which I am. 733 00:33:10,467 --> 00:33:14,433 Oh, if you can't do right for doing wrong, what is the point? 734 00:33:14,533 --> 00:33:16,300 Get a few pints down you, you know, getting 735 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,867 a round in, getting another. 736 00:33:18,967 --> 00:33:21,467 Nobody's buying you one back, never will. 737 00:33:21,567 --> 00:33:27,267 You shelled out for hundreds, not one back. 738 00:33:27,367 --> 00:33:32,367 But, while you're getting them in, you're having a laugh. 739 00:33:32,467 --> 00:33:35,533 I mean, that's all you need, isn't it? 740 00:33:38,167 --> 00:33:41,533 You know, people laughing, people talking. 741 00:33:41,633 --> 00:33:43,433 Anything, so long as it's not sounding 742 00:33:43,533 --> 00:33:45,600 like six winging fucking kids you never 743 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:47,800 wanted in the first place. 744 00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:49,067 Fuck the lot of them. 745 00:33:49,167 --> 00:33:51,400 Get used to the headaches. 746 00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:57,367 [cheering] 747 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:06,767 [speaking french] 748 00:34:08,067 --> 00:34:11,033 A pint of beer, and a couple of these. 749 00:34:11,133 --> 00:34:13,900 Oh, twisted Jesus. 750 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,000 Kill me. 751 00:34:19,967 --> 00:34:22,167 I don't know you, Frank. 752 00:34:22,267 --> 00:34:25,333 But it occurred to me that me and you are the victims here. 753 00:34:25,433 --> 00:34:27,633 Two hardworking, God-fearing men. 754 00:34:30,567 --> 00:34:34,033 We raise children in a straight line, with discipline. 755 00:34:34,133 --> 00:34:36,800 And God's good guidance. 756 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:40,600 Our Karen were only 12 when I heard her using the C word. 757 00:34:40,700 --> 00:34:42,567 And on a Sunday! 758 00:34:42,667 --> 00:34:44,867 Fuck. 759 00:34:44,967 --> 00:34:46,200 F. 760 00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:49,100 How did I, a man who said 16 years ago I want 761 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,700 to work for God in Africa-- 762 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,800 big place, big work-- 763 00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:59,300 how did I end up with a woman whose only pleasures are sex, 764 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,033 TV cookery, and drawing maximum benefits 765 00:35:03,133 --> 00:35:05,067 from the cash-strapped states? 766 00:35:05,167 --> 00:35:06,867 Hundreds a week she gets. 767 00:35:06,967 --> 00:35:07,833 Hundreds! 768 00:35:07,933 --> 00:35:10,533 For what? 769 00:35:10,633 --> 00:35:12,633 Being agoraphobic. 770 00:35:12,733 --> 00:35:15,733 I don't know where Sheila's dignity has gone, 771 00:35:15,833 --> 00:35:18,967 or whether she ever had any. 772 00:35:19,067 --> 00:35:21,167 Whether I was just kidding myself all along. 773 00:35:23,667 --> 00:35:25,633 Her world's about this big, and the less she does, 774 00:35:25,733 --> 00:35:26,533 the more they pay her. 775 00:35:29,900 --> 00:35:32,500 Well I've done it now, I've left her. 776 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,233 But I refuse to be sorry because-- 777 00:35:35,333 --> 00:35:44,567 because-- It's like-- 778 00:35:44,667 --> 00:35:46,900 it's like cruel to be kind. 779 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,133 [music playing] 780 00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:54,267 SHEILA: If you're from the church, you've had it. 781 00:35:54,367 --> 00:35:55,633 No. 782 00:35:55,733 --> 00:35:58,333 They're for you, Sheila. 783 00:35:58,433 --> 00:36:00,800 You know, by way of an apology. 784 00:36:00,900 --> 00:36:01,700 Apology? 785 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:02,633 For what? 786 00:36:04,967 --> 00:36:06,533 Well, not an apology. 787 00:36:06,633 --> 00:36:11,300 Just-- I'm Frank. 788 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:12,967 Ian's dad. 789 00:36:13,067 --> 00:36:15,033 Lip's dad. 790 00:36:15,133 --> 00:36:17,500 Oh, the twins? 791 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,433 No. 792 00:36:19,533 --> 00:36:23,067 No, I just-- I heard about your bit of bother, you know? 793 00:36:23,167 --> 00:36:24,933 Eddie, and all that. 794 00:36:25,033 --> 00:36:28,233 Well, it's just to say that not everybody 795 00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:31,167 thinks it's hilarious. 796 00:36:31,267 --> 00:36:34,133 You take a notice. 797 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:37,567 That's very neighborly of you. 798 00:36:37,667 --> 00:36:39,667 Come in, Frank. 799 00:36:44,233 --> 00:36:46,433 You have to take your shoes off! 800 00:36:50,267 --> 00:36:53,100 Yeah, belting house, Sheila. 801 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,833 It feels big without him. 802 00:36:56,933 --> 00:36:59,467 Well, you want to come around ours? 803 00:36:59,567 --> 00:37:00,400 Got shit for kids. 804 00:37:00,500 --> 00:37:03,000 Six of them. 805 00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:05,600 That must be nice. 806 00:37:05,700 --> 00:37:08,133 Yeah, well, it's great when they're little, you know? 807 00:37:08,233 --> 00:37:11,133 But they're all growing up now. 808 00:37:11,233 --> 00:37:14,267 I mean, you miss that company, don't you, when they're 809 00:37:14,367 --> 00:37:16,333 all off out all the time. 810 00:37:16,433 --> 00:37:18,033 Yeah. 811 00:37:18,133 --> 00:37:19,133 A house on your own. 812 00:37:21,700 --> 00:37:22,600 Well, no. 813 00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:26,233 I mean, I love time to myself. 814 00:37:26,333 --> 00:37:30,367 But-- I mean, there are limits. 815 00:37:30,467 --> 00:37:32,133 [crying] 816 00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,233 Hey. 817 00:37:34,333 --> 00:37:35,033 No. 818 00:37:35,133 --> 00:37:37,967 SHEILA: Hey, come on, Frank. 819 00:37:38,067 --> 00:37:42,000 You're preaching to the converted here. 820 00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:44,967 I've not been out of the house for five years. 821 00:37:45,067 --> 00:37:46,867 Five years? 822 00:37:46,967 --> 00:37:47,867 I can't. 823 00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:51,400 I've got an overwhelming fear. 824 00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:52,300 Oh, god. 825 00:37:55,033 --> 00:37:57,067 I've got agor-- 826 00:37:57,167 --> 00:37:58,433 I'm really sorry, Frank. 827 00:37:58,533 --> 00:38:00,433 I know I'm daft about shoes, but, feet have to-- 828 00:38:00,533 --> 00:38:02,900 I fear they stink to high heaven. 829 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,200 Oh god, Sheila, sorry. 830 00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:06,033 Sorry. 831 00:38:06,133 --> 00:38:07,067 I'll bugger off out of your way. 832 00:38:07,167 --> 00:38:08,500 Sorry! You see? 833 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:09,833 Again. 834 00:38:09,933 --> 00:38:12,200 No, by the time you get to the bathroom, hot water, gone. 835 00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:14,567 Now, I tried running a bath when I got back from France. 836 00:38:14,667 --> 00:38:15,833 Hot water, gone. 837 00:38:15,933 --> 00:38:19,767 You know, it's always muggins having to boil kettles. 838 00:38:19,867 --> 00:38:21,133 We have hot water. 839 00:38:21,233 --> 00:38:23,167 Hey, congratu-fucking-lations! 840 00:38:23,267 --> 00:38:24,833 No. 841 00:38:24,933 --> 00:38:27,667 In case you wanted a bath. 842 00:38:27,767 --> 00:38:30,533 Here? 843 00:38:30,633 --> 00:38:31,933 Where in France? 844 00:38:32,033 --> 00:38:35,067 [music playing] 845 00:38:43,867 --> 00:38:44,767 [knock on door] 846 00:38:44,867 --> 00:38:45,667 Frank? 847 00:38:45,767 --> 00:38:46,733 Frank? 848 00:38:46,833 --> 00:38:48,200 There are clothes out here. 849 00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:50,233 Stuck yours in the wash, so I hope they fit. 850 00:38:54,100 --> 00:38:56,000 Sorry, Sheila. I nodded off. 851 00:38:56,100 --> 00:38:58,033 You must be exhausted. 852 00:38:58,133 --> 00:38:59,333 Won't Eddie miss them? 853 00:38:59,433 --> 00:39:01,400 Not unless he sheds 4 stone. 854 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:03,500 He found Christ, then barreled. 855 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,967 You're quite lean, aren't you? 856 00:39:08,067 --> 00:39:09,933 Yeah, I can go for about three days without food. 857 00:39:10,033 --> 00:39:11,000 Suits you. 858 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,533 Anyway, they're yours if you want them. 859 00:39:20,533 --> 00:39:21,433 [music playing] 860 00:39:22,467 --> 00:39:24,133 Oh, Jesus. 861 00:39:24,233 --> 00:39:29,133 Sorry, I'm-- something I haven't seen for a long time. 862 00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:34,400 Eddie's only just left, hasn't he? 863 00:39:37,267 --> 00:39:39,167 I've never seen Eddie's. 864 00:39:39,267 --> 00:39:42,467 Always had to be pitch black for Eddie. 865 00:39:42,567 --> 00:39:44,900 I saw an outline once during a thunderstorm. 866 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,533 Like a pair of rolled up socks. 867 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:54,367 So you must be over the moon with a champ like this. 868 00:39:54,467 --> 00:39:55,600 Look at her. 869 00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:57,500 Desperate Daisy. 870 00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:03,800 Hey, if desperate is a crime, I'm a lifer, Sheila. 871 00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:07,167 Give it a feel if you're tempted. 872 00:40:07,267 --> 00:40:07,900 No. 873 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,833 No, I'll embarrass myself. 874 00:40:09,933 --> 00:40:11,633 Nobody here complaining. 875 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,900 It's OK, sweetheart. 876 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,233 Take your time. 877 00:40:32,567 --> 00:40:34,567 Not looking after each other at all, are you? 878 00:40:34,667 --> 00:40:37,233 It's bit tight, there, Sheila. Oh, fuck. 879 00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:42,267 No, hang on, Sheila, because I can't see a thing in here. 880 00:40:42,367 --> 00:40:44,667 [laughter] 881 00:40:53,533 --> 00:40:57,567 SHEILA: If I'm embarrassing myself, I'm doing it right. 882 00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:01,567 Oh, yeah. 883 00:41:04,667 --> 00:41:06,467 So, tell me, how does this-- 884 00:41:06,567 --> 00:41:07,633 oh, that is tight. 885 00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:09,467 No. 886 00:41:09,567 --> 00:41:10,367 Ow. 887 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:16,400 Paper said Sagittarius was in for a quiet week. 888 00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:21,600 So just tell us, then, how-- 889 00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:22,533 no, no. 890 00:41:22,633 --> 00:41:23,700 Oh, way too tight. 891 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,633 I-- I changed me mind. 892 00:41:34,733 --> 00:41:37,167 Sheila? 893 00:41:37,267 --> 00:41:40,200 Just a jump, that's all. 894 00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:43,333 I'm getting a panic attack here. 895 00:41:43,433 --> 00:41:45,533 Oh! 896 00:41:45,633 --> 00:41:46,467 No. 897 00:41:46,567 --> 00:41:47,800 That's good. 898 00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:49,433 I'm struggling to breathe, here. 899 00:41:49,533 --> 00:41:53,600 The more you beg, the more you're in for. 900 00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:54,667 Relax, Frank. 901 00:41:54,767 --> 00:41:57,100 I said relax. 902 00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:58,667 [whip cracks] 903 00:41:58,767 --> 00:42:00,200 Not that much. 904 00:42:05,067 --> 00:42:07,533 It's fucking vanished. 905 00:42:07,633 --> 00:42:09,500 Give it time. 906 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,467 We have plenty. 907 00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:16,800 [moaning] 908 00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:17,800 Yeah. 909 00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:19,633 See? 910 00:42:19,733 --> 00:42:22,033 You'll smile for me. 911 00:42:22,133 --> 00:42:23,533 Yeah, OK. 912 00:42:23,633 --> 00:42:24,900 Yeah. 913 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,800 OK. 914 00:42:26,900 --> 00:42:28,733 [moaning] 915 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,700 It's been over a year. 916 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:37,433 If that's not a smile, I don't know what is. 917 00:42:37,533 --> 00:42:38,467 Yeah. 918 00:42:38,567 --> 00:42:39,400 Yeah. 919 00:42:42,833 --> 00:42:45,600 And if he smiles, we all smile. 920 00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,167 Sit yourself down. 921 00:43:07,867 --> 00:43:09,167 When did this get done? 922 00:43:09,267 --> 00:43:10,633 SHEILA: Nipped down and stuck the chops 923 00:43:10,733 --> 00:43:12,300 on a low light about seven. 924 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,400 Snuck back about 10 to peel the spuds. 925 00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:18,100 What time is it? 926 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:20,700 Fuck's sake, what did you slip us? 927 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,800 Just natural tiredness, Frank. 928 00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:26,000 It's probably jet lag. 929 00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:28,600 You went to sleep just staring. 930 00:43:32,267 --> 00:43:33,533 Look at the good it's done you. 931 00:43:33,633 --> 00:43:35,233 You look like you've got blusher on. 932 00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:42,000 BOTH: Yeah. 933 00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:44,533 [laughter] 934 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,467 [music playing on tv] 935 00:43:53,933 --> 00:43:55,800 [phone ringing] 936 00:44:02,233 --> 00:44:04,567 I haven't got one. 937 00:44:04,667 --> 00:44:06,833 [phone ringing] 938 00:44:06,933 --> 00:44:09,100 Are you contract or pay-as-you-go? 939 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,667 [phone ringing] 940 00:44:15,767 --> 00:44:17,667 Hello? 941 00:44:17,767 --> 00:44:20,233 [music playing] 942 00:44:34,133 --> 00:44:36,567 I'm the only child my father's scared of because I'm 943 00:44:36,667 --> 00:44:39,567 the total opposite. 944 00:44:39,667 --> 00:44:40,667 Because I wanted to be. 945 00:44:45,833 --> 00:44:49,667 You're-- you're kind of-- 946 00:44:49,767 --> 00:44:51,633 you're kind of me in a skirt. 947 00:44:51,733 --> 00:44:54,533 And I don't honestly believe we could get this lucky twice. 948 00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:05,167 Skirt or no skirt, these are for you. 949 00:45:30,367 --> 00:45:32,667 FIONA (VOICEOVER): Reactions to the loss were mixed. 950 00:45:32,767 --> 00:45:36,033 Debbie missed him like mad, until she realized 951 00:45:36,133 --> 00:45:37,533 he was only a walk away. 952 00:45:37,633 --> 00:45:39,700 And Sheila was lovely 953 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,100 Right, now he's-- now, go on. 954 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:42,367 Go on, now. That's it, fella. 955 00:45:42,467 --> 00:45:43,900 Go on, now. Deb, get out-- get out the way. 956 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,000 FIONA (VOICEOVER): Dad would need 957 00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:47,133 skivvies whenever he ended up. 958 00:45:47,233 --> 00:45:51,800 He was in parasite heaven, returning only on Fridays 8:00 959 00:45:51,900 --> 00:45:55,233 to 8:30, bringing newfound parenting 960 00:45:55,333 --> 00:45:58,867 skills back to the homestead. 961 00:45:58,967 --> 00:46:01,767 Every time it looked like this family was falling apart, 962 00:46:01,867 --> 00:46:05,700 the next time you looked, we doubled the numbers. 963 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,133 Sheila's wasn't Sheila's anymore, 964 00:46:08,233 --> 00:46:10,033 it was where Dad lived. 965 00:46:10,133 --> 00:46:11,600 It was his house. 966 00:46:11,700 --> 00:46:15,000 Dad and Sheila's, part of the Gallagher colony. 967 00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:16,300 SHEILA: Brekky's under the grill. 968 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:17,867 FIONA (VOICEOVER): We'd always be welcome, so 969 00:46:17,967 --> 00:46:19,633 long as money wasn't an issue. 970 00:46:19,733 --> 00:46:22,700 That seemed fair enough. 971 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,100 Because we got more floor space to ourselves. 972 00:46:41,267 --> 00:46:45,467 Near the top there, a bit of bird shit. 973 00:46:45,567 --> 00:46:48,833 There, on the right. 974 00:46:48,933 --> 00:46:51,633 Yeah, more on the right. 975 00:46:51,733 --> 00:46:53,933 Hey, watch the ladder. 976 00:46:54,033 --> 00:46:55,433 Right, that can't be good. 977 00:46:55,533 --> 00:46:57,733 Start saving. 978 00:46:57,833 --> 00:47:00,700 [laughter] 979 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:12,700 Me and Kev are getting married! 980 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:14,100 [cheering] 981 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:16,100 BOTH: You're going to fake it? 982 00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,100 We'll still be married. 983 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:18,000 Just won't be legal. 984 00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:19,133 [laughter] 985 00:47:19,233 --> 00:47:20,133 STEVE: He's a maniac. 986 00:47:20,233 --> 00:47:21,500 He came on me. 987 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,333 FIONA; He's going to burn down the bleeding house. 988 00:47:23,433 --> 00:47:25,433 How long does it take to get a divorce? 989 00:47:25,533 --> 00:47:27,367 [screaming] 990 00:47:27,467 --> 00:47:30,633 [theme music] 991 00:48:03,233 --> 00:48:05,800 You may remember, a few weeks ago we showed 992 00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:07,833 you these, The Cuffs of Love. 993 00:48:07,933 --> 00:48:11,067 $6.99, and a bargain. 994 00:48:11,167 --> 00:48:13,933 The cuffs were manufactured in Stoke-on-Trent, 995 00:48:14,033 --> 00:48:17,400 but the faulty locking mechanism was illegally 996 00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:20,633 imported from North Korea, without this channel's 997 00:48:20,733 --> 00:48:22,800 knowledge or approval.