1 00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:54,663 This is DJ Suckaslam, spinnin' it old school tonight, 2 00:00:54,663 --> 00:01:00,190 inviting all of New York to forget your Y2K worries, turn up your radio, 3 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:03,802 and help good old Chuck Brown bust loose. 4 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:05,804 ♪♪ 5 00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:09,112 Oh, yeah. Bust it up, New York. 6 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:13,464 ♪ I feel like bustin' loose Bustin' loose ♪ 7 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,640 ♪ Bustin' loose in the evening ♪ 8 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,990 ♪ Bustin' loose can be pleasing ♪ 9 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:22,169 ♪ Talkin' 'bout bustin' loose ♪ 10 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:25,085 ♪ Bustin' loose in the meantime ♪ 11 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,826 ♪ Bustin' loose make you feel fine ♪ 12 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,524 ♪ Talkin' 'bout bustin' loose Yeah, man ♪ 13 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,223 ♪ Bustin' loose to my love jones ♪ 14 00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:36,357 ♪ Bustin' loose To each his own ♪ 15 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,838 ♪ Gimme the beat, y'all ♪ 16 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:44,016 ♪ 17 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,979 ♪ Hey, Leroy ♪ 18 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:53,156 ♪ Gimme some of that horn right here ♪ 19 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,991 ♪ 20 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:07,127 ♪ Gimme some of that horn ♪ 21 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,305 ♪ Well, well ♪ Wow! 22 00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:14,308 Taxi! Ohh! Oh! 23 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:22,446 ♪ I feel like bustin' loose Bustin' loose, y'all ♪ 24 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,883 ♪ Feel freaky deak ♪ 25 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:28,496 ♪ Feel freaky deak Feel freaky deak ♪ 26 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,498 ♪ Feel ♪ 27 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,984 Can I give you a ride 28 00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:43,424 ♪ I feel like bustin' loose Bustin' loose, now ♪ 29 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,687 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to deal ♪ 30 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:49,386 ♪ Bustin' loose doin' what you feel ♪ 31 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:52,694 ♪ Talkin' 'bout bustin' loose, girl ♪ 32 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,783 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to deal ♪ 33 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:58,178 ♪ Bustin' loose doin' what you feel ♪ 34 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,702 ♪ Talkin' 'bout bustin' loose now ♪ 35 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:02,878 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to sing ♪ 36 00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:06,621 ♪ Bustin' loose Baby, do your thing ♪ 37 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,666 ♪ Talkin' 'bout bustin' loose, girl ♪ 38 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:11,452 ♪ Bustin' loose when you want to sing ♪ 39 00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:13,671 ♪ Bustin' loose Baby, do your thing ♪ 40 00:03:16,239 --> 00:03:18,110 ♪ Gimme the beat, y'all ♪♪ 41 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,769 ♪♪ What's up 42 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:27,859 Oh, wow. You sure got a lot of confidence. 43 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:32,429 Ralph. Ralph Kramden. 44 00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:38,000 Operator of this machine and, uh, this machine. 45 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,831 Alice. Alice Gibson. 46 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,876 What's up, Alice Gibson? 47 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:50,055 So, Ralph Kramden, you takin' me to Brooklyn, or what? 48 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:54,277 I'll take you anywhere you want to go-- Crown Heights, Red Hook, Bushwick. 49 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:57,062 I'll take you to the moon, Alice. Come on. 50 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:59,848 ♪♪ 51 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,372 ♪♪ 52 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,244 I hope you're not gonna lose your job over this. 53 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,289 So what if I do? 54 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:09,336 This right here, this whole bus driver thing? This is temporary. 55 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:14,776 I'm an entrepreneur, and, uh, this is gonna make me a millionaire. 56 00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:18,910 "Kramden International Y2K Ultra Deluxe Survival Kit"? 57 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:22,740 Yeah, and when Y2K hit, you gonna need all that stuff in there. 58 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,655 You think Y2K's gonna be that bad? 59 00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,918 You ain't been watchin' CNN? 60 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:31,096 When every computer in the world shuts down on New Year's Eve, 61 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:35,840 that kit, plus a check or money order for 29.99 plus shipping and handling, 62 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,843 is the only thing that's gonna protect you against total chaos. 63 00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,323 Wow. Total chaos? 64 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,978 Yeah. I mean, you know, if I'm lucky. 65 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:46,286 I guess my dream's a little bit more practical. 66 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:50,420 Oh, yeahMy own home. 67 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:55,512 Nothin' fancy, just a little place all my own. You know? 68 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:59,908 No landlord or haggling with the super to fix the pipes or rent increases. 69 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:03,868 Just... my name on a deed and... 70 00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:07,655 some lawn chairs on the front porch so I can watch my kids play ball in the street. 71 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:11,093 You got kids? 72 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:14,836 I'm playin'. 73 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:19,928 Can't you feel it, Alice? We are on the verge of a new millennium. 74 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,844 You need to stick with your boy, because I'm about to blow up! 75 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,802 I mean, you'll see. 76 00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:28,545 This job, these empty pockets, this waistline-- gone! 77 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,809 Yeah. One day-- 78 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,377 I'm gonna own this town! 79 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,773 Is that what you think? I own this town? 80 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,515 I just asked you to talk to the super about the pipes, Ralph. 81 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,821 That's all.Today? 82 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,868 The Mets are in the seventh game of the World Series, and you know this, Alice, 83 00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,739 and you want me to think about plumbing? 84 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,309 Okay. 85 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:56,878 So it makes a little noise. But so do you, and I've learned to live with that. 86 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,881 Ralph. 87 00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,579 Fine. But I'm not dragging the super into this. 88 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:05,974 I'm calling my boy Norton. He works in the sewers. He knows pipes. 89 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,325 Yo, Norton! 90 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,286 What's up with the Mets?Today's the day, baby! 91 00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,376 Yeah, buddy! Oh! 92 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:20,162 Oh, my God! What did you do to my baby? 93 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,471 I didn't do anything!Never mind them, Ralphie. 94 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,516 I got a new riddle for ya. 95 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:27,952 A man was born in 1955. What made him-- 96 00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,737 Look, not now! 97 00:06:29,737 --> 00:06:32,653 Alice wants you to get down here and take a look at these pipes. 98 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,481 She's driving me crazy.All right. 99 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:40,661 Don't come down that. That thing is gonna kill you! 100 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,750 He's coming down the fire escape. 101 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,232 Hey, Alice.Hi, Ed. 102 00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,800 Come on, Ralph. A man was born in 1955. 103 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:55,023 Today's his 18th birthday. How's that possible, huh? 104 00:06:55,023 --> 00:07:00,942 1955 is not the year he was born, it's the number of the hospital room he was born in. 105 00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:03,597 Damn, you smart. 106 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:04,989 What seems to be the problem, Alice? 107 00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,556 Oh, listen, Ed. 108 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,302 I'm on it. 109 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:16,871 He's on it. Why's he gotta be on it? What happened to you? 110 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:19,482 Knock, knock! Morning, Kramdens. 111 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,745 Oh, hey, Trix. What do you got there, Trixie? 112 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:25,923 Ooh, I made French toast. Alice, I tried this new powdered sugar, Tasty Meds. 113 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:30,275 It's the one they give to the diabetics right when they wake up from the coma-- 99 cents. 114 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,887 It's a slight little aftertaste, but it's still good. Right, Ralph? 115 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,367 Mm 116 00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:38,849 - Trixie makes Ed French toast. - That's 'cause Ed's not on Trimspa. 117 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:42,200 Oh, you got jokes. You just a regular UPN sitcom, huh, Alice? 118 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,160 I gotta get to these pipes. Look, just fix it, okay? 119 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:49,512 It'll be good to have some peace and quiet around here. 120 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,297 You-- You-- You--Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 121 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,951 Ed, what'd you do now? 122 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,605 They wanted me to fix their pipes, baby. 123 00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,172 Yeah, not knock a big whole in the wall! 124 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,826 That's where the pipes are. 125 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,697 If you'd just talked to the landlord like I asked 126 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,657 you to in the first place--That's a much better idea, 127 00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,397 'cause I do my best work down below. 128 00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,574 Ooh, now that is true, baby.You did say that. 129 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,141 I'm a professional. People always call me 130 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,537 Get out! 131 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:17,322 It's all right, baby. It's okay. 132 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:20,630 Yeah, ah-ah-ah-ah. Take the wife, leave the French toast. 133 00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,719 Oh, man!See you at the diner, Alice! 134 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,416 Later, Trix. 135 00:08:24,416 --> 00:08:26,418 Hey, Ralph, after work we're gonna watch that game-- 136 00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,159 Out!Ah! 137 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,292 Go Mets. 138 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:34,557 You are certifiable, you know that? You oughta have your head examined. 139 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:37,429 I'll have my head examined anywhere in the United States. 140 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:41,172 And you know what they're gonna find when they look in there? Nothin'! 141 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,437 I ask you to do one thing. One thing! 142 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,830 You never appreciate anything I do! 143 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,179 You always go on and on! 144 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,746 I can't take it anymore! 145 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,443 You gotta go. I am late. 146 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,054 Here's your lunch. 147 00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,838 Hey, Tastykakes.Yeah. 148 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:57,319 Be careful. Always am. 149 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,414 Stay outta the bus lane! 150 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:08,460 Hey!Vivek, my man. 151 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,724 The Mets are goin' all the way, Ralph. 152 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:14,815 You'll do very well. Oh, yeah. You know that. 153 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,339 Do you have a wager on the game tonight, Ralph? 154 00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,776 Well, no, not exactly. 155 00:09:19,776 --> 00:09:22,692 Let's just say I'm taking advantage of certain economic opportunities. 156 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:26,566 Or as my investment guru Bart Roberts says, 157 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,134 "Kick open the door and opportunity don't have to knock." 158 00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:32,354 That's Bart Roberts. 159 00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,881 Order up. 160 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:44,409 Girls, come over here. Come over here. I have something to show you. 161 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:48,849 This is your new uniform.Oh, no, no. 162 00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,198 You don't like it? 163 00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:52,548 Mm-mmm, but I like the neckline, the "V." 164 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:56,204 The health inspector's coming soon, so we gotta keep everything clean. 165 00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,249 Now, but I'm gonna show you something. 166 00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:01,818 You see this? Ahh! Look at that. 167 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,213 See? Spotless.Voilà. 168 00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998 Yes.Excuse me. 169 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:11,306 I'd, uh-- I'd like to order. 170 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:14,831 Alice, please take him, 'cause I can tell he's gonna get on my nerves. 171 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:18,052 Hi. How can I help you today? 172 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:23,884 Yes, Alice, I would like an egg white omelet. And if I could get a clean glass of water. 173 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:26,234 Well, precious, we don't separate our eggs here, 174 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,628 and that's about as clean as it's gonna get. 175 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,848 Well, what do you have that's similar to an egg white omelet? 176 00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:34,634 Eggs. 177 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,898 Well, then, by all means, why don't you just bring me whatever's convenient for you? 178 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:40,291 Ah! Do I need to take off my heels? 179 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,554 No, no. Not yet. 180 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:45,035 I've angered you. I'm sorry. It happens a lot. 181 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,907 Alice, hello. 182 00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:48,648 Oh, hi, Miss Benvenuti. How are you? 183 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,432 I'm fine. Hi, Trixie. How are you? 184 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:53,130 Miss Benvenuti, what a pleasure. Please. 185 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:57,265 If you just buy my house that will be pleasure enough. 186 00:10:57,265 --> 00:11:01,095 Miss Benvenuti, you're selling that cute little duplex over on Hart Street? 187 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:04,141 Yes, I can't take the winters anymore. 188 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:09,364 Mr. Davis here and his company are thinking of buying my house. 189 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:14,064 Yes, we are. So, uh, if you girls could just go and cook something-- 190 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,806 Ignoring you.Yeah, I wish we would've known. 191 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,721 We've been looking to buy a duplex for years. 192 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:21,463 I'm sorry, but my company's already buying this one. 193 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:23,552 Yes, well, we're not a company or anything, 194 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,337 but we would like a nice place to move into with our husbands, 195 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,513 have a few little babies-- a little Trixie. 196 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,211 Everything's so expensive nowadays. 197 00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:32,039 Yes, it is. Kind of wishing you hadn't 198 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,215 dropped out of high school right about now, huh? 199 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,130 Still ignoring you. So, Miss Benvenuti, 200 00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:38,393 how much are you asking for the duplex? 201 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,181 Alice? 202 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,752 Cool. 203 00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:57,847 Yo, Norton? 204 00:11:57,847 --> 00:12:00,545 Yeah?Let's go, Mets! 205 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,634 Bottom of the ninth inning-- 206 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,898 This is killing me!I'm telling you, Ralph, 207 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,987 the Mets is gonna do their thing. Don't worry about it. 208 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,815 But Cameron can't strike out this time, man. 209 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,381 I know. What is he doin'? 210 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:12,209 Yeah, right, I know. It's crazy. 211 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,298 The guy hit good. You know what I'm sayin'? 212 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:17,171 Ed, the most amazing thing happened today. You have to listen-- 213 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:21,001 Baby, we don't bother you guys when you're watchin' your stories. Let us watch the game. 214 00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,437 But we got great news though! 215 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,134 Not now, baby, okay? This is the last inning. 216 00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,049 Shh!You have money on this game? 217 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,269 Uh, no. Look, I am a businessman, okay? 218 00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,010 Not a gambler. Come on, Mets! 219 00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:32,012 You guys remember Miss Benvenuti from the diner? 220 00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:34,579 Well, she's selling her duplex.Mm-hmm. It's a huge duplex. 221 00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:37,539 All we have to do is come up with $20,000 for the down payment. 222 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,888 But she's only giving us two weeks. 223 00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,108 2-1 pitch. Cameron grounds it. 224 00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:44,067 Just listen, just listen! 225 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,548 Come on. Between the four of us, we already have half of it. 226 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,680 They've got $5,000 saved, and we've got $5,300, right? 227 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,813 Something like that, give or take. 228 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,293 He's got a full count, man. 229 00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,774 What are they trying to do, kill me right now? 230 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,950 Wait. What do you mean, "give or take," Ralph? 231 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:59,561 You didn't take any money out of our savings account, did you? 232 00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,041 I don't know what she's talking about. 233 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,956 I know you know.Look, look, 234 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:05,262 maybe I went into our accounts, and maybe I took some money. 235 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:08,788 But then again, maybesomeone has a birthday comin' up... 236 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,659 and I'm just tryin' to surprise her. 237 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,922 My birthday's in eight months, Ralph. 238 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:18,362 Okay. Maybe I got the dates mixed up. She know who the boss is. 239 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,845 I know who the boss is.Here they go, man. 240 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,760 Make me some money, baby! This it right here! 241 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,457 Yeah!For the marbles! 242 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,808 3-2 pitch, Cameron swings!Go! 243 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,636 And sends it deep to left!He got ahold of it! 244 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:35,292 It's goin' deep! It's outta here! 245 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,687 Yeah! Yeah, the Mets! 246 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:42,691 Whoo! 247 00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,780 My baby! You know we don't have no insurance! 248 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,260 Oh, he's fine. Norton, get up! 249 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:47,609 The Mets!Mets! 250 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:48,915 The Mets did it! They won! 251 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,742 What'd I tell ya? 252 00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,920 What'd I tell ya? The Mets! What'd I tell ya? 253 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,618 I'm gonna show you what's in these boxes. You wanna see? I wanna see. 254 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,099 There's money in these boxes, baby. Money, money, money. 255 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:02,842 Money for anything you want. Money for the house. Money for anything! 256 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,887 You gotta be fast on your feet to make it in this world. 257 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,889 Yeah, I feel ya.When I'm the first one to hit 258 00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,630 the streets with this stuff--Yeah. 259 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,501 I'm gonna make a fortune.What stuff, Ed? 260 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:13,069 Mets stuff. Official merchandise. 261 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,593 Ralph met a guy on the bus who gave him a godfather deal. 262 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,205 Yeah, that's right. Godfather deal. 263 00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:19,946 Yeah. Ka-boom! 264 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,688 Uhh-- Is-- 265 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,908 Huh. Never seen a Met fan wear one of those. 266 00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,823 No, that's a throwback. 267 00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:30,217 No, it's gotta be in the other box. That's what's wrong. 268 00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:33,437 No, we don't play.Yeah, this for the pay-- Just-- 269 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,613 Yeah, it's this box.They just made a mistake. 270 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,615 Yeah, yeah. It's all good. 271 00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,182 There it is. Get ready, ladies. 272 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,793 Yeah. Yeah, just to carry us over. 273 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,970 You'll soon see. Here we go. 274 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,102 There they are. Boo! 275 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,893 Ralph, why? You had to know better. 276 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:59,594 This would've been big money, baby. I mean, I was investing in your future. 277 00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:03,946 Really? Like the time you invested $900 to market the, uh-- 278 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,557 Ooh! The Pet Cactus. 279 00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:09,996 Hey! Couple of kids get poked in the eye, and get corneal colitis, 280 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,519 and ruin it for everybody?Yeah. 281 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,260 That's not my fault. 282 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:17,220 Oh! My personal favorite: the velour fanny pack. 283 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:21,616 That's a man-purse, and I was this close to getting Al Roker to wear one on the Today Show. 284 00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:24,445 Wasn't I?He sure was. He was this close. 285 00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,708 I was with him the day--You're not helping. 286 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:30,016 Listen, Alice. We'll get the money for the house somehow. 287 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,627 No, we won't. 288 00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,585 It's always gonna be like this, Trix-- 289 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:37,632 living paycheck to paycheck, hand to mouth, 290 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,634 never having anything to call our own. 291 00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,592 But, hey, it's cool, right? 292 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:45,945 'Cause most people in the world live like this. Right? 293 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,686 Just didn't think it'd be so hard. 294 00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:51,602 Alice. Alice, come on. 295 00:15:58,261 --> 00:16:03,701 I know from the outside lookin' in it seems as though I have a perfect relationship. 296 00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:07,575 But the truth of the matter is, is that Alice and I don't always get along. 297 00:16:07,575 --> 00:16:13,450 Wow, I never noticed that! Ooh! Look. Man, she's mad, but she'll get over it. 298 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:16,366 She wasn't mad. Mad you do get over. 299 00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:22,590 Mad I can handle. I know how to deal with mad. But the look she had on her face, it was like-- 300 00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:26,072 She was disappointed in me, you know? Like she didn't believe in me anymore. 301 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:29,510 I don't now. If that's the case, then how do you come back from that? 302 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,642 Show her that you're sorry. Buy her ass somethin'. 303 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,123 With what? I'm broke! 304 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:38,258 Look. Check this out. I know a dude right now selling Cadillac wheels. 305 00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,999 I'm talkin' about spinners, the gold ones. 306 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,565 We ain't got no damn car. 307 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,915 I also know a dude that sell hearing aids. 308 00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,917 Norton! 309 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,528 Look, it's gettin' crazy out here, okay? 310 00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,921 Come on. Let's go shoot some pool. 311 00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:53,577 That's why I never like to brainstorm around you. You're very critical. 312 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,189 ♪♪ 313 00:16:56,189 --> 00:17:00,062 Wait a second. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why do you get to break? 314 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:03,152 I'll tell you why I get to break. Because you broke last time. 315 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:06,764 No, no, no. Youbroke last time.What? Fine. 316 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,767 We'll flip for it. Here, you call. 317 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:13,380 I wanna flip.Okay, flip. 318 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,774 Okay, I'm gonna flip it.Flip, Ed. Heads. 319 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,734 No, I wanted heads.Well, tails then! 320 00:17:19,734 --> 00:17:22,780 I wanted tails too. I got a big appetite for tails too. 321 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:25,653 Just break!All right! I'm gonna do it! 322 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,611 You are the most ridiculous man I've ever met. 323 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:30,614 Maybe so, but I'm breakin'. 324 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,008 ♪ How do, sexy ♪ 325 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,450 ♪ Oh ♪ 326 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,713 ♪♪ 327 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:11,438 Would you just shoot? 328 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,964 That's on you, Ralph! 329 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,184 Oh, no, you don't, Norton. 330 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:21,404 Hey! Oh, it's on, baby! 331 00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:22,666 Ralphie!Norton! 332 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:29,760 I can't I can't find my other hand! 333 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:34,330 It's right there. It's there. Right there. Hold up. 334 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,680 Dog, I'm gonna go back in.Calm down. 335 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,074 Ralph Ralph 336 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,381 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 337 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,992 What you doing? I wasn't about to go back in. What's wrong with you? 338 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:47,387 No time to play. We got a major backup in the sewer system. 339 00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,867 How come every time a toilet clogs in this town they call you? 340 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:52,087 I'm a specialist. 341 00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:54,002 It's like being a brain surgeon or Spider-Man. 342 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,352 Spider-Man! Spider-Man wouldn't have got us 343 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:59,268 beat down and thrown out of no pool hall! 344 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:03,359 Come in, Trix. 345 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,535 ♪♪ [ Women Singing, Indistinct ] 346 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,587 What do you have on? 347 00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,850 Don't act like you don't recognize my Ralph gear. 348 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:19,288 I got my loud-ass, lime-green T-shirt that should've made us millionaires, 349 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:24,206 my 1987 leopard-print fanny pack, complete inside with the baby Pet Cactus, 350 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:28,428 case a brother wanna get rowdy on the train, 'cause you know how they can act up-- 351 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:31,257 and to top it off-- 352 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,347 the rainbrella Kangol. 353 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,829 I'll wear it 24-7, 'cause rain ain't got no schedule. 354 00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:43,399 It's kind of sexy. Go on, Alice. You gotta admit. Your man is tryin'. 355 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:46,228 Yeah. Yeah. 356 00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:18,478 This is what I do! All right? Huh! No, you're right. Hey, hey, hey! 357 00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:21,611 Hey, yeah! Yeah, bring the man! 358 00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:26,355 Come on, Ralph. I know I smell a little stinky, but come on. Give your man some love. 359 00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:30,185 I'm-I'm-I'm cool on the love, thank you. 360 00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,231 Can we go?It's this way. 361 00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:39,063 Come on, Ralph. I got something to show you. This is the scenic route. 362 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,630 We're lost, aren't we? 363 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:43,503 Ralph, if you lay it out end to end, 364 00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:49,030 the New York City sewer system'll stretch about 6,600 miles-- 365 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:54,601 a city beneath the city-- and I got it all right here. 366 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:59,127 It's just around here, Ralph. 367 00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:00,781 Check this out. It's gonna be worth it. 368 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:12,619 Whoa! 369 00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:20,583 City beneath the city. 370 00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:23,151 Whoo, damn! Mahogany paneling, 371 00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:25,327 velvet curtains. 372 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:26,850 This is bad.What'd I tell you? 373 00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:29,331 We find these down here from time to time. 374 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:33,814 Owned by some rich white dude before flying got popular, Ralph. Solid brass. 375 00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:37,426 Can you imagine that? Rich enough to own your own train. 376 00:21:37,426 --> 00:21:41,865 Well, someone's going to. The city's auctioning it off. I don't know what for though. 377 00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,477 Who would want to own their own train car? 378 00:21:51,788 --> 00:21:54,269 Norton. 379 00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:56,445 What is it, Ralph?This is it. 380 00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:59,840 What's it?We buy the train. 381 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,278 We put an engine on it, slap some wheels on it, maybe a new paint job. 382 00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:07,282 I can get Alice to decorate. And we'll give tours of New York City. 383 00:22:07,282 --> 00:22:10,372 "I'm Ralph Kramden, and welcome to New York and all the five boroughs." 384 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:14,028 You know what, Ralph? Those tours make a lot of money too, man. 385 00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,595 This is why you need me to do the thinking. 386 00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:17,074 Yeah.Sometimes you gotta take 387 00:22:17,074 --> 00:22:19,425 the long view.Yeah. 388 00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:24,255 Okay, so, we won't be able to get the girls some little duplex now. 389 00:22:24,255 --> 00:22:26,562 Right.But soon-- 390 00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:29,304 Yeah?we can buy 'em a palace. 391 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,262 Ahh! 392 00:22:31,262 --> 00:22:34,265 Pow, pow! Yeah, man, this is it! 393 00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:36,659 [ Man Calling Auction, Indistinct ] 394 00:22:41,490 --> 00:22:45,364 Oh, yeah. This is the place where it's gonna go down. 395 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,888 Hey, I got another riddle for you, Ralph. 396 00:22:47,888 --> 00:22:50,194 Norton, not now, okay? I'm assessing the room. 397 00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:52,849 Look, look, look. 12:00, right there. 398 00:22:52,849 --> 00:22:57,637 It's a fellow entrepreneur. I know one when I see him. He's looking at our train. 399 00:22:57,637 --> 00:22:59,813 We don't have the cash to get into a bidding war. 400 00:22:59,813 --> 00:23:01,641 We really don't.Now, according to my 401 00:23:01,641 --> 00:23:03,817 investment guru Bart Roberts, 402 00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:08,038 "If you know you can't compete, you may have to practice deceit." 403 00:23:22,575 --> 00:23:26,753 Now, that there is a very fine train. 404 00:23:26,753 --> 00:23:30,539 Ralph Kramden.Hitako Kawakami. 405 00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:35,152 Oh. Well, thank you, Mr. "Hikato Kamakwami." 406 00:23:35,152 --> 00:23:40,070 Uh, here we go. This is, uh, me right here. 407 00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:43,247 "Ralph Kramden... International"? 408 00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:47,904 Well, for now. But we are expanding to a more global approach. 409 00:23:47,904 --> 00:23:50,864 Ahh. 410 00:23:50,864 --> 00:23:53,170 Man, they must have dug in the archives for this old picture. 411 00:23:53,170 --> 00:23:55,651 What do you mean? 412 00:23:55,651 --> 00:23:58,480 This picture here doesn't look anything like the train they're selling. 413 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,482 Uh, no. 414 00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,919 You've seen it? Have I seen-- 415 00:24:02,919 --> 00:24:05,531 Of course I've seen it. It's right out the door. 416 00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:08,185 Come with me and I'll show you the train. 417 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:12,494 [ Auctioneer Continues, Indistinct ] 418 00:24:12,494 --> 00:24:16,280 Sold! 230, lucky lady in the back. 419 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,718 Next up--It's back and to the left. 420 00:24:18,718 --> 00:24:20,197 an off-site item, a Pullman train car. 421 00:24:20,197 --> 00:24:21,982 Train car? 422 00:24:21,982 --> 00:24:24,158 Let's start the bidding at $1,000. 423 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:27,204 One thousand dollars. I want to bid! 424 00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:29,250 Do I hear two?Two thousand! 425 00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:31,034 Ralph!Two thousand! 426 00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:33,428 Two thousand from the guy over by the door. 427 00:24:33,428 --> 00:24:35,517 Norton, stop!Twenty-five hundred. 428 00:24:35,517 --> 00:24:37,693 Twenty-five hundred. It's going in the right direction. 429 00:24:37,693 --> 00:24:38,955 No, no. 430 00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:40,261 Three thousand! 431 00:24:40,261 --> 00:24:41,697 Three thousand!Get him out! 432 00:24:41,697 --> 00:24:43,786 Thirty-five hundred.No, no, I-- 433 00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:45,353 Thirty-five hundred going-- going-- 434 00:24:45,353 --> 00:24:47,573 Look! I'm bidding over here! 435 00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:49,575 Once, twice, three times! The train is mine! 436 00:24:49,575 --> 00:24:51,881 Sold! Thank you. 437 00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,758 I wish you would. I'm a purple belt. 438 00:25:01,238 --> 00:25:02,588 Ow. 439 00:25:02,588 --> 00:25:08,289 ♪ America, America ♪ 440 00:25:08,289 --> 00:25:10,552 You're so good, Trix. Why didn't you ever become a singer? 441 00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:13,250 I know I should've, but I have acid reflux. You know that. 442 00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:15,383 Uh-oh. It's the competition. 443 00:25:15,383 --> 00:25:17,298 Hi, Alice. Hi, Alice's friend. 444 00:25:17,298 --> 00:25:19,605 My name is Trixie, and I don't like you. 445 00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:23,522 Oh, stop, please. We got off to a bad start. 446 00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:26,176 I'd like to make amends.It's about time somebody does. 447 00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:28,614 You want to live in the Benvenuti place, and I want to own it. 448 00:25:28,614 --> 00:25:31,094 We can all get what we want.Should I cut him? 449 00:25:31,094 --> 00:25:32,879 Let's go.No, listen, listen, listen. 450 00:25:32,879 --> 00:25:35,577 I'm developing 15 affordable units on that property. 451 00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:40,582 I'll save a big, fat sunny corner unit for each of you. I'm a fun landlord. 452 00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:43,280 Fifteen units on that little lot? That... doesn't make a lot of sense. 453 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,979 I'm developing the whole block, 454 00:25:45,979 --> 00:25:48,416 but I need her property to close the deal. 455 00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:50,026 I think he's crazy, Alice. Look at him. 456 00:25:50,026 --> 00:25:53,029 Forget it. We don't do crazy. 457 00:25:53,029 --> 00:25:55,423 Mm-hmm! 458 00:25:58,469 --> 00:26:02,909 How's it lookin', Lenny?It's not bad. 459 00:26:02,909 --> 00:26:09,002 I have four or five old engines back at the bus yard, drive shaft, wheels. 460 00:26:09,002 --> 00:26:11,482 I can turn this into a first-rate tour bus! 461 00:26:11,482 --> 00:26:13,528 What'd I tell ya? What'd I tell ya? Ah! 462 00:26:13,528 --> 00:26:15,312 Lenny, the best mechanic in the whole M.T.A.! 463 00:26:15,312 --> 00:26:18,272 He said it. How much, Lenny?For Ralph, 464 00:26:18,272 --> 00:26:21,275 whatever it costs for parts. I get most of them for free, if you know what I mean. 465 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,931 We're gonna be rich! We're gonna be rich! 466 00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:27,150 Norton, what'd I tell you?You said it. 467 00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:30,153 You're gonna be rich. Lenny, I'm gonna let you in on it too. 468 00:26:30,153 --> 00:26:33,592 Hey, Ralph. I got one question for you. 469 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,681 How you gonna get this thing outta here? 470 00:26:35,681 --> 00:26:39,336 Lenny, it's a train. Okay? We're just gonna roll it out. 471 00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:41,948 Yeah, we're gonna roll it out. 472 00:26:41,948 --> 00:26:46,866 How you gonna do that when all you have is, uh, 20 feet of track? 473 00:26:52,959 --> 00:26:55,875 Uh-- You don't need-- 474 00:26:55,875 --> 00:27:00,619 You don't need track to roll a train out, do you? 475 00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:05,798 We're 60 feet below street level. It's gonna cost you a fortune to move that train. 476 00:27:05,798 --> 00:27:08,365 Well, Ralph, 477 00:27:08,365 --> 00:27:13,153 it look like you Gladys Knight without the Pips. 478 00:27:18,811 --> 00:27:21,422 What are you doin' out so late, Miss Celestine? 479 00:27:21,422 --> 00:27:23,946 I could ask you the same question. 480 00:27:23,946 --> 00:27:27,863 Well, it looks like I'm gonna be doin' a lot of double shifts from now on. 481 00:27:27,863 --> 00:27:31,606 Oh, really? And what's your poison? 482 00:27:31,606 --> 00:27:35,436 Gambling? Drink 483 00:27:35,436 --> 00:27:37,656 Oh, no. No, no, none of that. 484 00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:41,964 Just... worked myself into a jam trying to get along a little better. 485 00:27:41,964 --> 00:27:44,053 Aren't we all? 486 00:27:44,053 --> 00:27:47,578 ♪♪ 487 00:27:47,578 --> 00:27:52,148 ♪ Some people got to have it Hey, hey ♪ 488 00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:57,066 ♪ Some people really need it Huh, listen to me, y'all♪ 489 00:27:57,066 --> 00:28:01,854 ♪ Do things, do things do things Bad things with it ♪♪ 490 00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:03,986 Man, I worked four double shifts this week. 491 00:28:03,986 --> 00:28:06,859 Damn, Ralph. We need to pimp some midgets. You know what I mean? 492 00:28:06,859 --> 00:28:08,991 Yeah, tell me about it. 493 00:28:08,991 --> 00:28:10,863 What was that?I don't know, man. 494 00:28:10,863 --> 00:28:14,214 Sound like a big rat or somethin'. Come on. Let's go. 495 00:28:14,214 --> 00:28:16,259 Norton, what are you doin', man? 496 00:28:16,259 --> 00:28:18,392 Get away from the dump. 497 00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:20,916 That's a dog. Oh, man, why would somebody do this to a dog? 498 00:28:20,916 --> 00:28:22,352 Ralph, gimme some help. 499 00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:23,963 What? No, I'm not comin' in no Dumpster. 500 00:28:23,963 --> 00:28:25,442 Ralph, gimme some help. 501 00:28:27,401 --> 00:28:29,708 Oh, come out! Pull him out! 502 00:28:39,282 --> 00:28:42,024 Oh, wow.Look at him, Ralph. 503 00:28:42,024 --> 00:28:45,549 I'm gonna clean him up, put him a nice little collar on him, 504 00:28:45,549 --> 00:28:48,509 some rhinestones, call him-- 505 00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:50,598 Iggy!Iggy? 506 00:28:50,598 --> 00:28:53,079 Iggy's a perfect name for a dog in the hood. 507 00:28:53,079 --> 00:28:55,951 Come on. Don't get so excited. All right? We're not keepin' the dog. 508 00:28:55,951 --> 00:28:58,388 Besides, the super'll never let us have him in the building. 509 00:28:58,388 --> 00:29:00,695 I ain't got time for a dog anyway, Ralph. 510 00:29:00,695 --> 00:29:03,350 The dog is not coming with us. Let's go. 511 00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:09,138 Don't worry about it, Iggy. You comin' home with us, baby. 512 00:29:16,711 --> 00:29:19,409 Oh, boy.Mmm. 513 00:29:19,409 --> 00:29:21,498 There's some leftovers in the kitchen. 514 00:29:21,498 --> 00:29:23,283 Oh, it's okay, baby. 515 00:29:23,283 --> 00:29:26,199 I ate already with Norton. Sorry to wake you. 516 00:29:26,199 --> 00:29:28,462 Oh, you didn't wake me. I couldn't sleep. 517 00:29:28,462 --> 00:29:30,290 I keep hearing barking. 518 00:29:30,290 --> 00:29:33,119 I think somebody snuck a dog in the building or something. 519 00:29:33,119 --> 00:29:35,948 Oh, I'm sure you're just imagining things. 520 00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:40,909 Ooh! These double shifts are killin' me. 521 00:29:43,564 --> 00:29:46,045 Baby 522 00:29:46,045 --> 00:29:49,788 That house means the world to me, and I'm not gonna lose it without a fight. 523 00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:52,181 I mean, if we can't get the money by next Monday, 524 00:29:52,181 --> 00:29:55,750 Mrs. B's gonna be forced to sell it to that idiot developer William Davis. 525 00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:58,971 And, well, uh-- 526 00:29:58,971 --> 00:30:00,886 I'm gonna ask my mama for the money. 527 00:30:00,886 --> 00:30:03,453 What? Your mama don't have that kind of money. 528 00:30:03,453 --> 00:30:04,890 It's $10,000. 529 00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:07,153 That's all we need, right?Well, sure. 530 00:30:07,153 --> 00:30:09,633 That's if I hadn't spent the rest of it on the train. 531 00:30:09,633 --> 00:30:11,157 Huh? 532 00:30:11,157 --> 00:30:13,463 Just kind of addin' it up in my brain. 533 00:30:13,463 --> 00:30:16,727 Um-- Mmm-- 534 00:30:16,727 --> 00:30:21,167 Baby, you really should go by and see the house. I mean, Norton's already seen it. 535 00:30:21,167 --> 00:30:23,865 Well, yeah. Yeah. I'll get by there. 536 00:30:23,865 --> 00:30:25,824 Yeah? Yeah. 537 00:30:27,956 --> 00:30:29,828 Thank you. 538 00:30:37,009 --> 00:30:40,229 I talked to some guys about getting the train out of the sewer. 539 00:30:40,229 --> 00:30:42,275 How much?You don't wanna know. 540 00:30:42,275 --> 00:30:45,452 We gotta get ahold of some cash-- today. 541 00:30:45,452 --> 00:30:48,716 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 542 00:30:48,716 --> 00:30:51,545 Look at that, man.Rent money. Rent money. 543 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:59,945 ♪♪ 544 00:31:03,035 --> 00:31:07,866 ♪ Universal b-boy, lookin' for the perfect beat ♪ 545 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:10,042 ♪ Beat, beat, beat, beat ♪ 546 00:31:18,746 --> 00:31:21,357 ♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat, searchin' for the perfect beat ♪ 547 00:31:21,357 --> 00:31:23,751 ♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat, seekin' for the perfect beat ♪ 548 00:31:23,751 --> 00:31:25,579 ♪ I must get mine ♪ ♪ About to get it ♪ 549 00:31:25,579 --> 00:31:27,929 Sorry to disturb you at this time, ma'am. 550 00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:29,322 My name is Ed.And I'm Ralph. 551 00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:31,150 What a lovely home you have. 552 00:31:31,150 --> 00:31:35,154 Help us. We can't see a thing. 553 00:31:35,154 --> 00:31:37,852 Billy. What's up? It's Ralph Kramden. 554 00:31:37,852 --> 00:31:41,421 How you doin'? Vacation-- Okay. It's "William" now. 555 00:31:41,421 --> 00:31:44,990 Remember when I loaned you six dollars? You got that? 556 00:31:44,990 --> 00:31:46,817 ♪♪ 557 00:31:49,995 --> 00:31:52,998 ♪♪ 558 00:31:52,998 --> 00:31:56,740 The Brooklyn Youth Program is a program to keep young little brothers like ourselves... 559 00:31:56,740 --> 00:31:58,394 off the street for stealin' hubcaps... 560 00:31:58,394 --> 00:32:00,353 and breakin' in your house while you're not at home. 561 00:32:00,353 --> 00:32:01,920 Yes. 562 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,184 ♪♪ 563 00:32:05,184 --> 00:32:07,360 ♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat ♪ 564 00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,188 ♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat ♪ 565 00:32:09,188 --> 00:32:12,104 Jenny Lincoln, you remember we went on a date, 566 00:32:12,104 --> 00:32:14,410 and it was supposed to be Dutch, but I paid? 567 00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:15,846 Two blind men and a dog. 568 00:32:15,846 --> 00:32:17,239 That's a nice little sweater there. 569 00:32:17,239 --> 00:32:19,633 Yeah. Hey. Mmm. 570 00:32:19,633 --> 00:32:21,852 ♪ This is what you gotta do ♪ ♪ This is what you gotta do ♪ 571 00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:24,029 ♪ This is one thing you must do ♪ ♪ Beat this ♪ 572 00:32:26,814 --> 00:32:28,947 ♪ Beat this ♪ 573 00:32:30,644 --> 00:32:31,950 ♪ Beat this ♪ 574 00:32:34,691 --> 00:32:37,303 Throw a dog a bone! Throw a dog-- 575 00:32:37,303 --> 00:32:41,350 Wait a minute. I want some money. Now, wait a minute. Gimme five dollars, man. 576 00:32:41,350 --> 00:32:44,440 ♪ Lookin' for the perfect beat And it will help you beat your feet ♪ 577 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,008 ♪ Keep dancin' to our perfect beat ♪ 578 00:32:47,008 --> 00:32:50,577 ♪ And it will help you 579 00:32:56,496 --> 00:32:58,585 Aaah! Oh! 580 00:32:58,585 --> 00:33:00,630 Get off of-- 581 00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:03,111 Ed, you've gotta do something about this dog. 582 00:33:03,111 --> 00:33:05,200 I told you, I'm watchin' him for a friend. 583 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,376 Here, boy. Go get it! 584 00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:10,292 Things go right with this house, 585 00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,425 we can get a dog for the yard. 586 00:33:12,425 --> 00:33:15,689 And name him Patches?Or Iggy! 587 00:33:15,689 --> 00:33:17,517 Iggy? 588 00:33:17,517 --> 00:33:19,954 ♪ Baby, if you only knew ♪ 589 00:33:19,954 --> 00:33:21,825 I mean, man, have you seen the house? 590 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:25,220 Wow! It's got a backyard for Iggy and everything. 591 00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:29,572 Yeah, man, so, uh, Alice invited her mother over for dinner. 592 00:33:29,572 --> 00:33:33,315 Her mama's comin' o-- I better come over there with my referee T-shirt on then. 593 00:33:33,315 --> 00:33:36,144 She plans on askin' her for the money for the house. 594 00:33:36,144 --> 00:33:38,799 Wait a minute. You didn't told Alice about the train money? 595 00:33:38,799 --> 00:33:43,238 Oh, no. Ooh. It's been my experience that too much honesty... 596 00:33:43,238 --> 00:33:45,632 can ruin a good relationship.Yeah. 597 00:33:45,632 --> 00:33:49,853 Look at 'em over there. What do you think they're talkin' about? 598 00:33:49,853 --> 00:33:56,077 Us. Bad weaves. Fake Louis Vuitton purses. I mean, what do they always talk about? 599 00:33:56,077 --> 00:33:59,602 Let's say the conforming interest rate is 6.5 percent at one and a half points. 600 00:33:59,602 --> 00:34:02,170 Does that leave us room for a two 601 00:34:02,170 --> 00:34:05,869 I don't think you'd wanna do that in the first three years, but we could run the numbers. 602 00:34:05,869 --> 00:34:09,134 Hmm. Look at 'em over there.No, dog, no. 603 00:34:09,134 --> 00:34:11,136 What do you think they're talking about? 604 00:34:11,136 --> 00:34:13,094 You know how men are-- They'd like us to believe 605 00:34:13,094 --> 00:34:15,009 they're over there talking about religion... 606 00:34:15,009 --> 00:34:17,446 or politics or economic injustice. 607 00:34:17,446 --> 00:34:19,448 You know all they really care about is-- 608 00:34:19,448 --> 00:34:21,494 Beyoncé is more peach-shaped. 609 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:24,192 Like the way Chaka Khan used to be back in the day. 610 00:34:24,192 --> 00:34:27,848 Oh, Chaka Khan used to be built like a bleach bottle back in the day. 611 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:34,420 Yeah.Hey, Iggy. 612 00:34:34,420 --> 00:34:35,986 Uh, uh, uh. 613 00:34:35,986 --> 00:34:39,381 Go! 614 00:34:39,381 --> 00:34:42,471 Damn, that dog can run.Oh, yeah. You better believe it. 615 00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:48,042 Norton, that's it. We race Iggy. 616 00:34:53,178 --> 00:34:56,137 How many years did you guys say you've been racing greyhounds? 617 00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:58,008 Six. Oh, eleven. Uh-- 618 00:34:58,008 --> 00:35:00,663 Eleven years, but six times-- 619 00:35:00,663 --> 00:35:03,405 Those are dog years. Right. right. 620 00:35:03,405 --> 00:35:06,582 Five or 10 years. He got into it first. 621 00:35:06,582 --> 00:35:08,584 Yeah, actually, I brought him into the business. 622 00:35:08,584 --> 00:35:10,020 Right.Actually, we are brothers. 623 00:35:10,020 --> 00:35:12,458 Cousins.Different moms. 624 00:35:12,458 --> 00:35:14,677 Well, my father used to train neglected Chihuahuas. 625 00:35:14,677 --> 00:35:17,463 Gentlemen, it really doesn't matter. 626 00:35:17,463 --> 00:35:20,857 What I do wanna know is, how it is you've been racing greyhound champions... 627 00:35:20,857 --> 00:35:24,687 for six to 11 years, and I never heard of you. 628 00:35:24,687 --> 00:35:28,952 Well, actually, I can explain that. You know, actually, we've-- 629 00:35:28,952 --> 00:35:32,391 The past few years we've been racing exclusively in Argentina. 630 00:35:32,391 --> 00:35:35,002 Yeah, you might have seen us on Telemundo. 631 00:35:35,002 --> 00:35:38,005 No, I didn't. I didn't know they raced dogs in Argentina. 632 00:35:38,005 --> 00:35:40,268 Yeah, ever since the shah took over, you know-- 633 00:35:40,268 --> 00:35:42,966 The shah of Argentina? 634 00:35:42,966 --> 00:35:48,668 Look, Mr. Kirby, we got a dog here who's itchin' to run. How about this weekend? 635 00:35:48,668 --> 00:35:51,061 This weekend is the track's anniversary derby. 636 00:35:51,061 --> 00:35:52,846 Oh, good. Sign us up. 637 00:35:52,846 --> 00:35:57,372 Gentlemen, gentlemen. That's a $20,000 stakes race. 638 00:35:57,372 --> 00:35:59,809 $20,000 639 00:35:59,809 --> 00:36:03,117 What he is saying is that we don't normally race for such low stakes. 640 00:36:03,117 --> 00:36:05,946 No, we don't.But we'll make an exception. 641 00:36:05,946 --> 00:36:09,254 Oh, hell, yeah. We will make an exception. 642 00:36:09,254 --> 00:36:11,038 Stop! 643 00:36:11,038 --> 00:36:13,954 Well, kennel sickness has hit us pretty hard this week. 644 00:36:13,954 --> 00:36:16,565 Uh, it's a very extensive screening process. 645 00:36:16,565 --> 00:36:18,785 Who's his sire 646 00:36:18,785 --> 00:36:21,004 His dam 647 00:36:21,004 --> 00:36:22,571 His lineage? 648 00:36:22,571 --> 00:36:24,530 Are you talking about his tailor? 649 00:36:24,530 --> 00:36:27,402 No, he don't wear clothes.He's got a 10-inch inseam. 650 00:36:27,402 --> 00:36:29,970 Mr. Kirby, look. We got a dog. 651 00:36:29,970 --> 00:36:33,060 He's ready to run. You've had some scratches. 652 00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:35,410 All we want is a chance.That's it. 653 00:36:35,410 --> 00:36:38,457 All right. 654 00:36:38,457 --> 00:36:43,288 All right, I'm gonna give him a time trial tomorrow. If he qualifies, he runs. 655 00:36:43,288 --> 00:36:45,725 Oh! That's what I'm sayin'.Who's his trainer? 656 00:36:45,725 --> 00:36:47,422 Oh, he don't need no trainer. 657 00:36:47,422 --> 00:36:50,773 He don't need no trainer. He's housebroken. 658 00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:53,167 He needs a trainer. 659 00:36:55,256 --> 00:36:58,216 Get Dodge. He's the guy for you. 660 00:37:10,576 --> 00:37:12,534 You Dodge? 661 00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:14,928 Hell, no. You got the wrong sucker. 662 00:37:14,928 --> 00:37:20,020 Why Who's askin'?We're lookin' for a trainer. 663 00:37:20,020 --> 00:37:23,458 Well, why didn't you say so, man? What, are you socially retarded? 664 00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:27,549 What's up? My name is Dodge. Hey, what's up? 665 00:37:27,549 --> 00:37:30,204 Okay. WhoYeah. 666 00:37:30,204 --> 00:37:32,162 Oh, that's cool, 'cause I'm a canine behaviorist. 667 00:37:32,162 --> 00:37:34,817 I train, board and breed greyhounds. 668 00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:38,647 I specialize in temperamentally unsound, psychologically unstable, genetical throwbacks. 669 00:37:38,647 --> 00:37:44,087 I do not pick up excreta. And I run my facilities right out of this place. 670 00:37:44,087 --> 00:37:47,177 Says here you sell time-shares in the Poconos. 671 00:37:47,177 --> 00:37:50,268 What? Let me see that. Oh, yeah. 672 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,226 My bad, man. Wrong card, man. 673 00:37:52,226 --> 00:37:54,576 "Importifications," underage mail-order brides, 674 00:37:54,576 --> 00:37:56,752 S and M fashion consultant-- 675 00:37:56,752 --> 00:37:58,928 You know what? We don't need cards. We don't need cards. 676 00:37:58,928 --> 00:38:02,280 We're dog people. We got a-- a bond, a fellowship. 677 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,020 Hey, look at the dog. Look at him. 678 00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:06,893 He seems really bright, alert. What's his name? 679 00:38:06,893 --> 00:38:09,809 That's Iggy.I'm Ralph, and this is Ed. 680 00:38:09,809 --> 00:38:13,552 Hey, Ralph, Ed-- You carry your dog around on a rope? 681 00:38:13,552 --> 00:38:16,206 You siphon gas out of a car. What's your point, man? 682 00:38:16,206 --> 00:38:19,297 WhatYeah. 683 00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:22,822 You think I'm stealing? Man, that's my friend's car. 684 00:38:22,822 --> 00:38:25,825 Come on. We prank each other all the time, you know? 685 00:38:25,825 --> 00:38:30,786 I siphon gas out of his car, he siphons out of my car. Yada yada, blasie, blasie. 686 00:38:30,786 --> 00:38:35,313 Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna train your dog for $500-- cash. 687 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:38,403 I don't know.Hey, you know what? 688 00:38:38,403 --> 00:38:41,710 I'll let you think about it. All right? Give you a moment. Don't worry. No pressure. 689 00:38:41,710 --> 00:38:44,539 I don't know, Ed. Does this guy look like a dog trainer to you? 690 00:38:44,539 --> 00:38:46,802 What does a dog trainer look like? I don't know. 691 00:38:46,802 --> 00:38:48,761 But Kirby said--Yeah-- Yeah, Kirby-- 692 00:38:48,761 --> 00:38:50,632 He said Dodge, right?That's what Kirby said. 693 00:38:50,632 --> 00:38:53,374 Okay. All right. We'll do it. We'll do it. 694 00:38:53,374 --> 00:38:56,116 All right. Good decision, man.Five hundred, cash. 695 00:38:56,116 --> 00:38:58,901 Let's see, baby. Let me check. 696 00:38:58,901 --> 00:39:01,948 Hey! Hey, nice man-purse. 697 00:39:01,948 --> 00:39:05,908 You mean this fanny pack thing? I got this off a homeless guy in the park for a quarter. 698 00:39:05,908 --> 00:39:08,389 See, some sucker made, like, a thousand of these. 699 00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:10,348 Yeah, what are we gonna do about the trainin'? 700 00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:12,306 It's like this. Let me break it down for you, okay? 701 00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:13,916 We're a partnership now. A ménage a trois. 702 00:39:13,916 --> 00:39:16,092 You put in the capital, I put in the experience. 703 00:39:16,092 --> 00:39:19,095 At the end, you get the experience, I keep the capital. Is that cool? 704 00:39:19,095 --> 00:39:21,184 Great. Great. 705 00:39:21,184 --> 00:39:23,317 The thing is, I like to work at night, if you don't mind. 706 00:39:23,317 --> 00:39:25,580 During the day it's just too crowded. 707 00:39:25,580 --> 00:39:27,582 You know, too many people. Too many dogs. 708 00:39:27,582 --> 00:39:29,889 So let's say we meet out back over there about 9:00 sharp. 709 00:39:29,889 --> 00:39:32,065 Okay. 9:00? 9:00. 710 00:39:32,065 --> 00:39:34,981 Remember, there are no bad dogs. Only bad owners. 711 00:39:34,981 --> 00:39:37,853 All right? Remember that. I gotta bounce. 712 00:39:45,992 --> 00:39:47,472 Hi, Mom. 713 00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:49,212 Somewhere around the third flight of stairs, 714 00:39:49,212 --> 00:39:50,605 I think I caught T.B. 715 00:39:50,605 --> 00:39:53,347 Here.Oh, a pie. 716 00:39:53,347 --> 00:39:56,742 Oh, and box of wine. That is so nice. 717 00:39:56,742 --> 00:39:58,961 Don't get too excited. I'm taking back what we don't drink. 718 00:40:00,485 --> 00:40:02,530 Just have a seat on the couch and relax, 719 00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:05,141 and I'll just pop a hole in the top and bring you a glass. 720 00:40:05,141 --> 00:40:08,231 Table setting for three-- Does that mean he's gonna be here? 721 00:40:08,231 --> 00:40:10,582 He lives here. Not for long-- 722 00:40:10,582 --> 00:40:14,150 If Jesus would quit making movies and answer the prayers of a righteous woman. 723 00:40:21,027 --> 00:40:27,337 ♪ Seconds of pleasure ♪ 724 00:40:27,337 --> 00:40:33,256 ♪ Life's little treasures ♪ 725 00:40:33,256 --> 00:40:35,258 ♪ Baby Seconds of pleasure ♪♪ 726 00:40:35,258 --> 00:40:37,347 Hey, sweet pea. 727 00:40:39,393 --> 00:40:43,092 Hell, no! No, no! 728 00:40:43,092 --> 00:40:44,920 What happened? 729 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,314 You married a damn pervert, that's what happened. 730 00:40:47,314 --> 00:40:49,447 Look, it was just a big misunderstanding. 731 00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,666 Next you'll probably say you thought I was Alice. 732 00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:53,712 Of course I thought you were Alice. 733 00:40:53,712 --> 00:40:58,064 Aha! That's exactly what a pervert would say. 734 00:40:58,064 --> 00:41:00,458 Woman, one day you are gonna push me too far. 735 00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:03,548 The only thing that could push you is a bulldozer. 736 00:41:03,548 --> 00:41:06,507 M Mom? How about you go wash up for dinner? 737 00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:08,422 'Cause everything is under control here. 738 00:41:08,422 --> 00:41:11,730 And, um, I'll just deal with my little pervert here. 739 00:41:17,997 --> 00:41:20,347 What is she doin' here? 740 00:41:20,347 --> 00:41:22,567 I'm asking my mother for the money for the house tonight. 741 00:41:22,567 --> 00:41:23,872 Tonight? Yes. 742 00:41:23,872 --> 00:41:25,961 No, no, no, no. Not tonight. Tonight-- 743 00:41:25,961 --> 00:41:28,747 You can't because, uh, 744 00:41:28,747 --> 00:41:30,749 Norton and I have to go to the lodge. 745 00:41:30,749 --> 00:41:32,490 The lodge? 746 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:34,883 What are you, Fred Flintstone all of a sudden 747 00:41:34,883 --> 00:41:38,060 Look, I-- Woman, I got somewhere to be. 748 00:41:38,060 --> 00:41:42,674 That's all you need to know, and that'sit. 749 00:41:42,674 --> 00:41:46,025 I refuse to lose this house over another one of your half-assed schemes, Ralph Kramden. 750 00:41:46,025 --> 00:41:48,201 HalfMm-hmm. 751 00:41:48,201 --> 00:41:49,985 Let me tell you something. 752 00:41:49,985 --> 00:41:52,814 This country was built on half-assed schemes. 753 00:41:52,814 --> 00:41:55,469 I'm talkin' about real inventive stuff here. 754 00:41:55,469 --> 00:41:57,253 Like the guy who came up with the thong, okay? 755 00:41:57,253 --> 00:42:00,953 He was short on material, and he used what he had. 756 00:42:00,953 --> 00:42:03,042 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 757 00:42:03,042 --> 00:42:05,305 I'm asking my mother for the money for the house tonight, 758 00:42:05,305 --> 00:42:07,437 and I expect you to be on your very best behavior. 759 00:42:07,437 --> 00:42:10,266 Look--Ralph... Kramden. 760 00:42:10,266 --> 00:42:13,487 Your very best behavior. 761 00:42:25,368 --> 00:42:28,807 Well. So far everything's edible. 762 00:42:35,770 --> 00:42:38,556 Uh, how about I get the entrées? 763 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:42,560 Oh-- "Entrées." You going to France for those? 764 00:42:47,086 --> 00:42:49,654 Just one good swing. 765 00:42:49,654 --> 00:42:52,134 What are you doin'? 766 00:42:52,134 --> 00:42:54,180 Trixie's coming home. I couldn't let her see Iggy. 767 00:42:54,180 --> 00:42:56,661 You can't leave him here. Alice's mama is over for dinner. 768 00:42:56,661 --> 00:42:58,576 She's in there right now, asking for house money. 769 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,578 So if Alice get the checks and she tries to deposit-- 770 00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:02,144 Yes. 771 00:43:02,144 --> 00:43:03,972 I know. She's gonna know the account is empty. 772 00:43:03,972 --> 00:43:05,365 That's why this meal can't go well. 773 00:43:05,365 --> 00:43:07,149 How you gonna do that? 774 00:43:07,149 --> 00:43:09,282 I know you're probably in there eatin' all our dinners. 775 00:43:09,282 --> 00:43:12,154 Just don't make the same mistake you made last time. 776 00:43:12,154 --> 00:43:14,635 When you hit plate, stop. 777 00:43:27,996 --> 00:43:31,652 Oh-- Oh, you goin' straight to hell for this one. 778 00:43:33,262 --> 00:43:36,744 Mother Gibson, that's free-range chicken. 779 00:43:36,744 --> 00:43:40,008 What a chicken does on his free time is no nevermind to me. 780 00:43:40,008 --> 00:43:42,141 Oh, this is way too much food for me. I'm on a diet. 781 00:43:42,141 --> 00:43:43,664 Oh, here. Take my plate. 782 00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:45,535 I don't have that much.Oh, thank you, baby. 783 00:43:45,535 --> 00:43:47,625 You know, I wanted your mother to have the white meat. 784 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,931 Oh, no. I'm perfectly happy with the dark. 785 00:43:49,931 --> 00:43:51,280 Well, give me the white meat then. 786 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:52,630 No, it's fine. 787 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,154 Ralph.No. Give me the white meat. 788 00:43:55,154 --> 00:43:57,112 Give me the plate, woman! 789 00:43:57,112 --> 00:43:59,332 Mama? 790 00:43:59,332 --> 00:44:01,943 Mmm. Mm, mm, mm. 791 00:44:01,943 --> 00:44:05,251 The chicken is delicious. 792 00:44:05,251 --> 00:44:07,732 Ralph, eat. 793 00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:10,082 Yeah. I've never seen you turn down food before. 794 00:44:16,610 --> 00:44:18,743 So, what do you want, Alice 795 00:44:18,743 --> 00:44:20,919 I thought we'd wait till after dinner to talk about that. 796 00:44:22,181 --> 00:44:23,573 I thought you'd marry a lawyer. 797 00:44:23,573 --> 00:44:25,532 Apparently we both thought wrong. 798 00:44:25,532 --> 00:44:28,840 Oh, let me guess. 799 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,407 You need money?We wanna buy a house. 800 00:44:31,407 --> 00:44:33,409 It's a duplex, actually-- With Ed and Trixie. 801 00:44:33,409 --> 00:44:35,194 Well, you know, truth be told, 802 00:44:35,194 --> 00:44:38,066 buyin' a house is a big investment. 803 00:44:38,066 --> 00:44:40,721 Yeah, that is the truth. That is the truth, and it hurts. 804 00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:42,636 You know? I can see that. 805 00:44:42,636 --> 00:44:45,639 I've never seen you so torn up about money before. 806 00:44:45,639 --> 00:44:48,903 We are putting in all of our savings, but we're still a little short-- 807 00:44:48,903 --> 00:44:51,993 About $10,000. $10,000? 808 00:44:51,993 --> 00:44:55,040 Who do you think I am, Weezy Jefferson? God rest her soul. 809 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:56,911 Uh-- But it-- 810 00:44:56,911 --> 00:44:59,348 It's a beautiful duplex, Mama, with a backyard and everything. 811 00:44:59,348 --> 00:45:01,655 Right near the diner, even. 812 00:45:01,655 --> 00:45:03,309 So what do you think? 813 00:45:03,309 --> 00:45:05,441 I think you should have married little Larry Fillmore. 814 00:45:05,441 --> 00:45:07,052 I heard he's taking over the funeral home. 815 00:45:08,749 --> 00:45:12,013 Just... give me some time to marinate on it. 816 00:45:12,013 --> 00:45:13,754 That's fair enough. 817 00:45:13,754 --> 00:45:16,583 Is something wrong with you? 818 00:45:16,583 --> 00:45:21,675 You know, it's just that we've been so worried about asking you for the money for the house, 819 00:45:21,675 --> 00:45:24,852 and, you know, sharing a meal over it is just a beautiful thing. 820 00:45:24,852 --> 00:45:27,376 I'm ready for dessert. Anybody?Yeah. Mama brought a pie. 821 00:45:27,376 --> 00:45:29,161 And Mama's goin' go get it. 822 00:45:29,161 --> 00:45:31,076 Your mama's coming to the kitchen? 823 00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:32,991 Your mama's going to the kitchen! 824 00:45:32,991 --> 00:45:35,036 Tell the truth. 825 00:45:35,036 --> 00:45:36,864 You're on the pipe, aren't you, boy? 826 00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:43,131 Oh, there it is-- My famous apple, crumble, crisp pie. 827 00:45:47,309 --> 00:45:49,572 Oh! 828 00:45:49,572 --> 00:45:53,098 I don't even want to know. Where do you keep the paper towels? 829 00:45:53,098 --> 00:45:55,883 Oh, right up under the, uh-- 830 00:45:55,883 --> 00:45:57,929 We don't, uh, have any. 831 00:45:57,929 --> 00:45:59,844 We-- You know, I don't believe in that, 832 00:45:59,844 --> 00:46:01,715 with the rain forest, and everything. 833 00:46:01,715 --> 00:46:04,674 You know, there's something really, really wrong with you. 834 00:46:10,028 --> 00:46:12,987 Where's the dog?He's right there. 835 00:46:15,860 --> 00:46:18,645 Look, we gotta go right now. 836 00:46:18,645 --> 00:46:21,256 They said if we don't get there by 9:00 we can't even race. 837 00:46:21,256 --> 00:46:23,258 Well, they're not gonna let me leave right now. 838 00:46:23,258 --> 00:46:25,870 Ralph, what are you doing? Come join us for dessert. 839 00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:30,091 Okay, babe. I'll be in in just a second. The pilot light went out. 840 00:46:30,091 --> 00:46:33,616 He's fixing the pilot. He's handy. 841 00:46:33,616 --> 00:46:34,966 How do we get out of here? 842 00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:39,535 Fire escape. Oh, hell, no. 843 00:46:39,535 --> 00:46:42,147 Boy, you comin' in here or not? My pie is gettin' stale. 844 00:46:44,540 --> 00:46:47,108 I got another riddle for you. 845 00:46:47,108 --> 00:46:51,025 What's lighter than a feather, but yet the strongest man can't hold it very long 846 00:46:51,025 --> 00:46:53,723 Not now, Norton, okay? I'm trying not to break my neck up here. 847 00:46:53,723 --> 00:46:55,987 Come on, Ralph. What's lighter than a feather-- 848 00:46:55,987 --> 00:46:59,164 Your breath.Wow. You're a genius. 849 00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:01,340 Ralph?Almost got it, babe. 850 00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:03,298 I'll be right there. 851 00:47:03,298 --> 00:47:05,779 Now, you sure this thing can hold us? 852 00:47:05,779 --> 00:47:07,955 We come down this all the time, Ralph. 853 00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:12,612 Oh, man. 854 00:47:12,612 --> 00:47:14,875 Norton, you know I hate heights. 855 00:47:14,875 --> 00:47:16,964 Come on, Ralph. You could do it. 856 00:47:16,964 --> 00:47:19,010 Just chill, man. I'll help you. 857 00:47:19,010 --> 00:47:21,099 I can't, man. 858 00:47:21,099 --> 00:47:22,491 I ain't gonna be able to do this, man. 859 00:47:22,491 --> 00:47:25,233 Ralph, you're gonna get us busted. 860 00:47:25,233 --> 00:47:28,062 Go slow. 861 00:47:28,062 --> 00:47:30,151 Hold on, Ralph. Come on, Ralph. 862 00:47:30,151 --> 00:47:33,589 What's the noise, man?Come on. Come on. 863 00:47:33,589 --> 00:47:35,940 I think I'm-- I'm cool, right? I'm good. 864 00:47:35,940 --> 00:47:40,248 See, Ralph 865 00:47:40,248 --> 00:47:43,512 Oh, geez. 866 00:47:48,387 --> 00:47:50,432 You see anything No. 867 00:47:50,432 --> 00:47:52,870 Now, where'd that crazy husband of yours run off to? 868 00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:56,221 Uh, you know, Mom, I think he said something about a meeting at the lodge tonight. 869 00:47:56,221 --> 00:47:58,701 Shh. Shh. 870 00:47:58,701 --> 00:48:00,790 Oh, well. That's more dessert for us. 871 00:48:03,402 --> 00:48:06,448 Ralph, I gotta confess something to you. 872 00:48:07,928 --> 00:48:09,582 Just-- Man, just hold on.We're gonna die. 873 00:48:09,582 --> 00:48:12,715 I gotta get my life right with the Lord. 874 00:48:12,715 --> 00:48:16,719 One day I was comin' down there to get some milk from y'all on the fire escape, 875 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,460 and I seen Alice naked. 876 00:48:18,460 --> 00:48:20,941 I ain't lyin'. 877 00:48:20,941 --> 00:48:24,292 And sometimes I think about it. 878 00:48:24,292 --> 00:48:27,687 You 879 00:48:29,384 --> 00:48:31,430 Huh? 880 00:48:37,610 --> 00:48:40,526 Ah! 881 00:48:40,526 --> 00:48:42,397 I forgot my keys. 882 00:48:42,397 --> 00:48:43,790 Yeah, right. 883 00:48:43,790 --> 00:48:45,531 Hey, I'm not gonna lie to you, man. 884 00:48:45,531 --> 00:48:48,055 I'm having problems, okay? My wife left me. 885 00:48:48,055 --> 00:48:50,840 All right, technically she's notmywife, she's somebody else's. 886 00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:52,973 But the pain lingers all the same, you know what I mean? 887 00:48:52,973 --> 00:48:55,019 Duck! Duck! 888 00:48:55,019 --> 00:48:58,370 What you mean, "duck"? What's goin' on? 889 00:48:58,370 --> 00:49:00,633 It's okay. It's okay. No problem. He didn't see us. 890 00:49:00,633 --> 00:49:03,114 Are we breakin' in here? 891 00:49:03,114 --> 00:49:06,334 We're not breakin' in. Why you profilin'? Why you profilin' me? 892 00:49:06,334 --> 00:49:09,294 It's a competitive business. I don't want other trainers to steal my secrets. 893 00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:17,171 Okay, fellas, dog racing is about show business, and the show counts. 894 00:49:17,171 --> 00:49:19,826 And it starts the minute you walk your dog onto the battlefield. 895 00:49:19,826 --> 00:49:21,959 And this is the walk. 896 00:49:24,874 --> 00:49:26,876 Brisk, brisk, brisk, brisk, brisk, brisk. 897 00:49:26,876 --> 00:49:28,791 Arms down. Arms down. Arms down. 898 00:49:28,791 --> 00:49:30,837 Confidence. Don't be arrogant. Don't be arrogant. 899 00:49:30,837 --> 00:49:32,621 It's not a tug-of-war. It's not a tug-of-war. 900 00:49:32,621 --> 00:49:34,319 Watch out. Watch out. 901 00:49:34,319 --> 00:49:36,756 Get the dog. Get the dog. Get the dog. 902 00:49:38,410 --> 00:49:40,499 There you go. Good boy. 903 00:49:40,499 --> 00:49:44,764 He's great, man. Sixty-five pounds, less than four percent body fat. 904 00:49:44,764 --> 00:49:46,984 All muscles. Yeah. 905 00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,768 You know, I had a French aerobics teacher. 906 00:49:48,768 --> 00:49:51,249 Leslie was her name. Just like that. Really flexible. 907 00:49:51,249 --> 00:49:53,425 Except not enough soft places. You know what I'm sayin'? 908 00:49:53,425 --> 00:49:56,297 Right? 909 00:49:57,603 --> 00:49:59,083 Okay, for Iggy to be competitive, 910 00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:01,302 he's gotta run at least a 32.30. 911 00:50:01,302 --> 00:50:05,089 This is the moment of truth, fellas. Ralph, Eddie, you ready? 912 00:50:05,089 --> 00:50:06,916 Three, two, one. 913 00:50:09,528 --> 00:50:11,747 All right, fellas. 914 00:50:11,747 --> 00:50:14,533 We run into a couple problems. Nothing minor. 915 00:50:14,533 --> 00:50:16,535 I gotta train his mind. 916 00:50:16,535 --> 00:50:19,581 That's it, Iggy. Relax. Relax. That's it. 917 00:50:19,581 --> 00:50:20,930 Good boy. Breathe. 918 00:50:23,063 --> 00:50:25,848 Breathe. That's it. Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff. 919 00:50:37,164 --> 00:50:39,123 You know, my parents find it really difficult... 920 00:50:39,123 --> 00:50:40,689 to explain to people what I do for a living. 921 00:50:40,689 --> 00:50:42,517 Hmm. 922 00:50:42,517 --> 00:50:45,912 Iggy, you are one of the most ancient canine breeds. 923 00:50:45,912 --> 00:50:49,220 The pharaoh's favorite. The Greek king's son. 924 00:50:49,220 --> 00:50:52,614 You're a born winner. A born winner, boy. Live up to it. 925 00:50:58,403 --> 00:51:01,101 Uh, I don't know. I don't know. 926 00:51:03,538 --> 00:51:06,454 Listen to me, pooch. Okay? I'm talking to you. 927 00:51:06,454 --> 00:51:08,326 Nobody quits on Tony Montana, you hear me? 928 00:51:08,326 --> 00:51:11,938 You're a dog. It's a racetrack. 929 00:51:11,938 --> 00:51:14,114 You can win this thing. 930 00:51:14,114 --> 00:51:16,377 Hey, baby, listen to me. 931 00:51:16,377 --> 00:51:18,858 I'm not who you think I am. I'm not the best trainer in the world. 932 00:51:18,858 --> 00:51:21,252 I started out with nothing, and I've still got most of it left. 933 00:51:21,252 --> 00:51:23,732 They wanted me to get you pregnant by a pit bull. 934 00:51:23,732 --> 00:51:26,692 Iggy, Iggy-- Look at me when I'm talkin' to you! 935 00:51:26,692 --> 00:51:29,086 Your dogs would have had little bodies with big heads, 936 00:51:29,086 --> 00:51:31,436 and just walkin' down the street like this. 937 00:51:31,436 --> 00:51:35,309 You coulda been a contender, but instead, you're a bum! 938 00:51:35,309 --> 00:51:39,574 You win that race, you get the power, and then you get the bitches. 939 00:51:39,574 --> 00:51:41,707 Oh, yes. So many bitches. 940 00:51:48,366 --> 00:51:50,890 All right, fellas. The dog's a straight-up dud. 941 00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:54,241 What do you mean, the dog's a dud? 942 00:51:54,241 --> 00:51:56,722 You're a trainer. Train the dog. I've seen this dog move. 943 00:51:56,722 --> 00:51:59,638 I've seen him move too. You'rea dud. Iggy? 944 00:51:59,638 --> 00:52:02,162 Were you-- Were you drinkin' at the time? When you saw him move? 945 00:52:02,162 --> 00:52:04,730 Iggy, it's not that hard. 946 00:52:04,730 --> 00:52:06,340 Watch this. 947 00:52:08,212 --> 00:52:11,215 Let me think about it. Let me just think. 948 00:52:11,215 --> 00:52:13,739 I got it. I got it. 949 00:52:13,739 --> 00:52:16,089 Why don't we Nancy Kerrigan the other dogs? 950 00:52:16,089 --> 00:52:17,830 You mean hit the dogs in the knee? 951 00:52:17,830 --> 00:52:19,527 Just the back. The hind legs.No. 952 00:52:19,527 --> 00:52:21,486 All right. That's a little too aggressive for you? 953 00:52:21,486 --> 00:52:23,227 Don't worry about it.Vitamins? 954 00:52:23,227 --> 00:52:25,751 Little stronger than that. Works for me. 955 00:52:25,751 --> 00:52:27,753 Nobody needs to know. They don't screen dogs. 956 00:52:27,753 --> 00:52:29,494 They don't? No. No. 957 00:52:29,494 --> 00:52:30,973 Nobody needs to know. Just you and me. 958 00:52:30,973 --> 00:52:33,193 What'd you get? 959 00:52:33,193 --> 00:52:34,934 That was fast. Hey, nice lap, Norton. 960 00:52:36,196 --> 00:52:37,458 Eddie-- 961 00:52:37,458 --> 00:52:38,938 Eddie, what do you think? 962 00:52:38,938 --> 00:52:41,984 I don't know how we gonna get this dog to run. 963 00:53:00,655 --> 00:53:03,092 Check that out. 964 00:53:04,746 --> 00:53:07,923 Hey, boss. Psst, psst. Check that out. 965 00:53:07,923 --> 00:53:10,535 You're impressed with it, ain't you? 966 00:53:10,535 --> 00:53:12,363 He's in. 967 00:53:12,363 --> 00:53:13,973 All right!Yeah! 968 00:53:13,973 --> 00:53:17,324 Assuming you have all the proper paperwork. 969 00:53:17,324 --> 00:53:19,979 You bring it to the owners' party, here tomorrow night. 970 00:53:19,979 --> 00:53:22,547 Not a problem, Mr. Kirby. We'll have that paperwork for you. 971 00:53:22,547 --> 00:53:26,420 We'll definitely have the paperwork tomorrow. What paperwork? 972 00:53:26,420 --> 00:53:28,857 It's the dog's paperwork documenting authenticity of line, 973 00:53:28,857 --> 00:53:30,772 license to race, proof of insurance, 974 00:53:30,772 --> 00:53:32,774 membership in the Greyhound Association of Amer-- 975 00:53:32,774 --> 00:53:35,081 Oh, wow. All the things you ain't got. 976 00:53:35,081 --> 00:53:36,778 We can get it.No, you can't. 977 00:53:36,778 --> 00:53:38,432 'Cause you know why? It's a three-week hold 978 00:53:38,432 --> 00:53:40,304 on the license alone, man.Dang. 979 00:53:40,304 --> 00:53:43,394 'Cause you're my friends I'll expedite it for $600. 980 00:53:43,394 --> 00:53:45,483 I'll get it to you by tomorrow.Six hundred dollars? 981 00:53:45,483 --> 00:53:47,441 No, no. No way, man. You already charged us 982 00:53:47,441 --> 00:53:49,965 for the kennel, the dog leash-- $60 for puppy chow. 983 00:53:49,965 --> 00:53:52,272 That was Pedigree Puppy Chow, man. 984 00:53:52,272 --> 00:53:55,101 Come on.I got overhead. All right, $300. 985 00:53:59,192 --> 00:54:02,282 Excuse me.Are you the health inspector? 986 00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:04,153 Uh, look. Uh, nice and clean. Spotless. 987 00:54:04,153 --> 00:54:06,504 No, no, no. I need to speak to Alice Kramden, please. 988 00:54:06,504 --> 00:54:09,507 Oh. Alice is busy.Excuse me? 989 00:54:09,507 --> 00:54:11,552 Do you know who I am? 990 00:54:11,552 --> 00:54:14,381 Uh-- Uh, no. No. You know who I am? 991 00:54:14,381 --> 00:54:17,036 I was born in a one-bedroom farmhouse... 992 00:54:17,036 --> 00:54:19,081 with five brothers-- who I raised. 993 00:54:19,081 --> 00:54:22,694 I was born in China 80 years ago in a Chinese rice field. 994 00:54:22,694 --> 00:54:24,826 I served my country in Vietnam... 995 00:54:24,826 --> 00:54:27,351 where I was a Golden Gloves champion three years running. 996 00:54:27,351 --> 00:54:31,006 Before when I come, my English not good-looking, but now I speak perfect. 997 00:54:31,006 --> 00:54:33,879 I raised six kids, buried two husbands... 998 00:54:33,879 --> 00:54:36,273 and am on the lookout for number three. 999 00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:39,232 Can I call you next week 1000 00:54:39,232 --> 00:54:42,931 Mama, what are you doing here?Oh, hi, baby. 1001 00:54:42,931 --> 00:54:48,197 Uh, I just thought I'd, uh, drop this off in person. 1002 00:54:48,197 --> 00:54:51,679 Thank you! 1003 00:54:51,679 --> 00:54:53,159 You're welcome. 1004 00:54:53,159 --> 00:54:55,857 Trix, we got the money for the house. 1005 00:54:55,857 --> 00:54:57,250 I can't believe it. 1006 00:54:57,250 --> 00:54:58,599 I didn't think you were gonna do it. 1007 00:54:58,599 --> 00:55:00,558 Well, I was skeptical. 1008 00:55:00,558 --> 00:55:02,777 But Ralph seemed so genuinely worried about it, 1009 00:55:02,777 --> 00:55:04,605 I figured maybe he's just comin' around. 1010 00:55:04,605 --> 00:55:07,478 Yeah, maybe he is.Thank you, Mama! 1011 00:55:07,478 --> 00:55:09,306 You're welcome. 1012 00:55:17,139 --> 00:55:20,534 Once this is leveled, it'll make a nice entry to the underground parking. 1013 00:55:20,534 --> 00:55:22,362 Excuse me. 1014 00:55:23,755 --> 00:55:25,974 Here to reconsider my offer? 1015 00:55:25,974 --> 00:55:30,065 I'm actually here to give Mrs. B some news-- some really good news. 1016 00:55:30,065 --> 00:55:32,241 Well, she's not here. 1017 00:55:32,241 --> 00:55:34,809 Please share it with me.I'd love to. 1018 00:55:34,809 --> 00:55:37,812 We're gonna own this place. Yeah. 1019 00:55:37,812 --> 00:55:40,032 Ed and Trixie upstairs, and me and Ralph down. 1020 00:55:41,773 --> 00:55:44,558 Ralph--Ralph my husband. 1021 00:55:44,558 --> 00:55:46,604 Oh. 1022 00:55:46,604 --> 00:55:48,997 What's so funny?I'm sorry. It's just, you know-- 1023 00:55:48,997 --> 00:55:51,652 Come Monday, you'll be trespassing. 1024 00:55:55,090 --> 00:55:57,179 Tell me this. If there's no money in her account, 1025 00:55:57,179 --> 00:56:00,313 then why is this waitress hangin' around my property? 1026 00:56:00,313 --> 00:56:02,663 Sir, I told you. I checked. 1027 00:56:02,663 --> 00:56:05,057 They have nothing.No, they've got something, Chip. 1028 00:56:05,057 --> 00:56:07,799 They've got something somewhere. 1029 00:56:07,799 --> 00:56:10,149 Find out what the husband is up to. 1030 00:56:10,149 --> 00:56:11,977 Ralph Kramden. 1031 00:56:14,501 --> 00:56:18,287 That woman I was telling you about-- Her name is Marlena. 1032 00:56:18,287 --> 00:56:21,073 She's Puerto Rican. 1033 00:56:21,073 --> 00:56:25,904 My God. I've tried to talk to her, but words won't come. 1034 00:56:25,904 --> 00:56:29,342 I could tell you a thing or two about women. That's if you're ready to hear it. 1035 00:56:29,342 --> 00:56:32,389 It all begins with letting her know who's boss. 1036 00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:34,129 Very important. 1037 00:56:36,654 --> 00:56:39,134 Alice! What-What are you doing here? 1038 00:56:39,134 --> 00:56:42,486 I just came from the bank. It's a funny story. You wanna hear it? 1039 00:56:42,486 --> 00:56:44,357 Let her know who's boss, Ralph.Uh-- 1040 00:56:44,357 --> 00:56:47,360 Uh, look, uh-- I can explain. 1041 00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,449 Oh, can you? Can you now? 1042 00:56:49,449 --> 00:56:51,886 I tell the bank I wanna withdraw $4,000, 1043 00:56:51,886 --> 00:56:55,847 and they tell me not only is our account empty-- here's the punch line-- 1044 00:56:55,847 --> 00:56:58,937 we're overdrawn by $223.60. 1045 00:56:58,937 --> 00:57:01,766 Whoa. The bank said that? No, no, no. 1046 00:57:01,766 --> 00:57:03,768 There's gotta be a mistake, baby, 1047 00:57:03,768 --> 00:57:05,770 'cause I don't know nothin' about no 60 cents. 1048 00:57:05,770 --> 00:57:07,772 Where's the money, Ralph? 1049 00:57:07,772 --> 00:57:10,383 Uh, I can explain, all right? 1050 00:57:10,383 --> 00:57:14,518 But, You know, taken out of context, it might sound a little crazy. 1051 00:57:14,518 --> 00:57:16,345 Try me. 1052 00:57:18,870 --> 00:57:21,568 Norton and I found a train in the sewer, see, and-- 1053 00:57:21,568 --> 00:57:24,005 I want you out of the apartment, Ralph. 1054 00:57:24,005 --> 00:57:27,531 H-Hold on. Babe, wait a minute. Listen. Listen. 1055 00:57:27,531 --> 00:57:29,228 Then we got this dog out of the Dumpster and-- 1056 00:57:29,228 --> 00:57:30,577 I don't wanna hear it. 1057 00:57:30,577 --> 00:57:32,449 I don't wanna hear it. I'm done. 1058 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,494 Come on, baby. Just 24 more hours. 1059 00:57:34,494 --> 00:57:37,366 Okay? Twenty-four more hours, and then we can get on to the life... 1060 00:57:37,366 --> 00:57:38,716 we've both dreamed of. 1061 00:57:38,716 --> 00:57:41,240 And what life is that, Ralph 1062 00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:43,590 You've always been so obsessed with your own dreams... 1063 00:57:43,590 --> 00:57:45,157 that you never even bothered with mine. 1064 00:57:45,157 --> 00:57:46,593 How can you say that? 1065 00:57:46,593 --> 00:57:48,769 I want the house just as much as you do. 1066 00:57:48,769 --> 00:57:51,990 Then why haven't you been by to see it? 1067 00:57:51,990 --> 00:57:55,123 'Cause-- 1068 00:57:55,123 --> 00:57:57,735 I mean-- 1069 00:57:57,735 --> 00:57:59,867 Because you're selfish, Ralph Kramden. 1070 00:57:59,867 --> 00:58:02,217 And I'm done playing the fool. 1071 00:58:10,051 --> 00:58:11,662 Come on! Move it! All right? 1072 00:58:11,662 --> 00:58:13,707 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. 1073 00:58:13,707 --> 00:58:15,796 Go ahead. Be my guest. 1074 00:58:43,084 --> 00:58:45,086 Aaah! 1075 00:58:45,086 --> 00:58:46,958 Luckily for me, man, I'm nearsighted, 1076 00:58:46,958 --> 00:58:48,873 so I can date just about anybody, you know? 1077 00:58:48,873 --> 00:58:51,049 I understand what you're sayin'.I'm dating this lady-- 1078 00:58:51,049 --> 00:58:53,530 She's about 40, 40-plus. Whatever. 1079 00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:56,271 I don't wanna marry her for her money, but I don't know how else to get it. 1080 00:58:56,271 --> 00:58:58,143 You know what I'm sayin'? 1081 00:58:58,143 --> 00:59:00,624 You know, someday I'm gonna find somebody special... 1082 00:59:00,624 --> 00:59:02,843 who's not gonna press charges. 1083 00:59:02,843 --> 00:59:04,758 There he is. Finally. 1084 00:59:06,281 --> 00:59:08,806 Hey, keep it close. 1085 00:59:08,806 --> 00:59:10,938 Ralphie boy. 1086 00:59:10,938 --> 00:59:13,245 Ralph, what are you wearin', man? This is a "A" list party. 1087 00:59:13,245 --> 00:59:16,335 You got "D" list all over you, man. Look at me. 1088 00:59:16,335 --> 00:59:19,077 I'm wearing new underwear, even. They're new to me anyway. 1089 00:59:19,077 --> 00:59:21,470 Look, I couldn't change, okay? Alice kicked me out the house. 1090 00:59:21,470 --> 00:59:24,212 Again?She found out about the money. 1091 00:59:24,212 --> 00:59:26,606 Madder than a mug about the house. 1092 00:59:26,606 --> 00:59:28,913 It's serious.Don't worry about it, Ralph. 1093 00:59:28,913 --> 00:59:31,785 Tomorrow, when Iggy's in that winner's circle, we goin' get paid, 1094 00:59:31,785 --> 00:59:34,353 and the money will buy the girls the house. 1095 00:59:34,353 --> 00:59:37,530 Yeah, maybe you're right. Hey, you got the paperwork for Kirby? 1096 00:59:37,530 --> 00:59:39,880 Yeah, I never disappoint 'cause I'm always on point, baby. 1097 00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:42,317 Well, let's do this, man.Ralph. 1098 00:59:42,317 --> 00:59:44,581 They're not gonna let you in dressed like a thug. 1099 00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,495 Uh 1100 00:59:46,495 --> 00:59:48,802 Besides, where I'm gonna find a suit at this hour? 1101 00:59:54,547 --> 00:59:57,419 Man, Ralph, you lookin' real Temptation-like in that suit. 1102 00:59:57,419 --> 01:00:00,945 I know you ain't trying to joan lookin' like the last Blues Brother. 1103 01:00:00,945 --> 01:00:03,251 Oh, man, you look great. You look like a plucked sunflower. 1104 01:00:03,251 --> 01:00:04,601 Girls love flowers, man. 1105 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:06,559 Oh, wow. You know, I love all your stuff. 1106 01:00:06,559 --> 01:00:08,387 I really, really do. 1107 01:00:08,387 --> 01:00:09,997 What stuff is she talkin' about, Ralph? 1108 01:00:09,997 --> 01:00:11,608 I have no idea. 1109 01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,741 You guys are great. Lookin' forward to it. 1110 01:00:14,741 --> 01:00:17,178 What's goin' on here, man?They must know we own Iggy. 1111 01:00:17,178 --> 01:00:19,267 I'm tellin' you, that dog's a winner, Ralph. 1112 01:00:19,267 --> 01:00:20,965 Whatever. Hey, let's find Kirby. 1113 01:00:20,965 --> 01:00:22,227 Right, right, right. 1114 01:00:22,227 --> 01:00:25,186 You kill me. 1115 01:00:25,186 --> 01:00:27,232 Hey, Mr. Kirby. How are you? 1116 01:00:27,232 --> 01:00:30,148 Oh. 1117 01:00:30,148 --> 01:00:33,455 Mr. Kramden, uh, that is quite a suit. 1118 01:00:33,455 --> 01:00:35,327 You dig that suit, huh? 1119 01:00:35,327 --> 01:00:37,068 It would suit you, but unfortunately I'm out 1120 01:00:37,068 --> 01:00:38,896 of the banana yellow. I got some pumpkin left. 1121 01:00:38,896 --> 01:00:40,854 Pumpkin? You didn't say nothin' about no pumpkin. 1122 01:00:40,854 --> 01:00:43,465 Mr. Kirby, I got the paperwork for Iggy to be in the race tomorrow. 1123 01:00:43,465 --> 01:00:46,338 Iggy won't be in the race tomorrow. He's been scratched. 1124 01:00:46,338 --> 01:00:48,775 Scratched? What do you mean, scratched? Scratched? 1125 01:00:48,775 --> 01:00:52,997 I bribed the top people. I was on procedure to get this through. Come on. 1126 01:00:52,997 --> 01:00:54,999 I'll be perfectly honest with you. 1127 01:00:54,999 --> 01:00:56,957 You see, my new friend over there... 1128 01:00:56,957 --> 01:00:59,133 has just paid a good amount of cash... 1129 01:00:59,133 --> 01:01:02,528 to keep your dog out of the race. Here we go. 1130 01:01:02,528 --> 01:01:05,313 Wait a minute. Who is this guy?William Davis. 1131 01:01:05,313 --> 01:01:07,315 I don't believe we've had the pleasure. 1132 01:01:07,315 --> 01:01:09,709 No, we haven't had the pleasure, 1133 01:01:09,709 --> 01:01:12,407 'cause if we had been pleasured, I think we'd have knowed about it. 1134 01:01:14,148 --> 01:01:15,497 Shh. Better if you don't talk, man. 1135 01:01:15,497 --> 01:01:17,891 Davis-- 1136 01:01:17,891 --> 01:01:20,894 "Davis Properties" Davis?That's right. 1137 01:01:20,894 --> 01:01:22,591 That's the one Trixie was talkin' about. 1138 01:01:22,591 --> 01:01:24,724 And you are? 1139 01:01:26,334 --> 01:01:28,554 Ralph Kramden. 1140 01:01:28,554 --> 01:01:30,599 Oh, yes. 1141 01:01:30,599 --> 01:01:33,994 Well, it's just business. Nothing personal. 1142 01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:39,130 How is it just pers-- It's just business? 1143 01:01:39,130 --> 01:01:41,480 And since our business is over, 1144 01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:45,179 why don't you stay, enjoy the buffet and buy yourselves some drinks? 1145 01:01:45,179 --> 01:01:46,703 Mr. Kirby, come on.Boss, boss. 1146 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,879 It's me, boss. Talk to me, baby. 1147 01:01:48,879 --> 01:01:51,098 Wha--That was a police move, man. 1148 01:01:51,098 --> 01:01:52,970 Let it go. Let it go.What do you mean, let it go? 1149 01:01:52,970 --> 01:01:55,059 Just let it go.I'm sittin' up here 1150 01:01:55,059 --> 01:01:57,496 lookin' like a rubber ducky, and you're talkin' about let it go. 1151 01:01:57,496 --> 01:01:59,585 Come on. Let's have a little free punch. 1152 01:01:59,585 --> 01:02:01,848 It's on me. Lighten things up a little bit. 1153 01:02:01,848 --> 01:02:04,111 'Cause I been thinkin' and thinkin', 1154 01:02:04,111 --> 01:02:06,374 and it doesn't look good. 1155 01:02:06,374 --> 01:02:11,031 Mmm. Doesn't smell good. That shrimp's got me with the bubble guts. 1156 01:02:11,031 --> 01:02:13,599 Look, Ralph. Ralph, you can't be hatin' on Kirby, man. 1157 01:02:13,599 --> 01:02:16,558 You can't. He's a self-made businessman, just like you and me. 1158 01:02:16,558 --> 01:02:20,127 He started out with $5,000, and now he's $2 million or $3 million in debt. 1159 01:02:20,127 --> 01:02:22,739 You gotta admire that. I ain't got no taste, but I gotta admire that. 1160 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,132 You know? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ralph. 1161 01:02:25,132 --> 01:02:27,961 But sometimes the world is cold like that. It is about money sometimes. 1162 01:02:27,961 --> 01:02:31,704 Yeah, it's about money. Look at Kirby. 1163 01:02:31,704 --> 01:02:34,185 He thought for one second he can get paid with Iggy, 1164 01:02:34,185 --> 01:02:36,709 we wouldn't even be in this situation. 1165 01:02:36,709 --> 01:02:39,756 I have been looking everywhere for you two. Come on. 1166 01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:41,540 What's goin' on?We're late. Come on. 1167 01:02:41,540 --> 01:02:42,976 Late for what? 1168 01:02:42,976 --> 01:02:44,761 Who do you think we are?Come on, Chang. 1169 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,937 Everyone knows your yellow suit.What about-- What-- 1170 01:02:46,937 --> 01:02:48,895 Chang?I'm excited to finally meet you. 1171 01:02:48,895 --> 01:02:51,463 How many times I told you not to call this number, huh? 1172 01:02:51,463 --> 01:02:53,857 Yeah, why-why you gonna call the cops? 1173 01:02:53,857 --> 01:02:57,512 I was gonna be there. I'll give you the money on Friday, right? Mom. Mom. 1174 01:02:57,512 --> 01:02:59,950 You were supposed to start five minutes ago. 1175 01:02:59,950 --> 01:03:01,908 Get up there.Huh? 1176 01:03:01,908 --> 01:03:03,388 What the-- 1177 01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:05,042 And remember, you're getting paid per set. 1178 01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:07,479 Okay. Go on. 1179 01:03:07,479 --> 01:03:11,091 She said we was gettin' paid. Go on ahead. 1180 01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:22,537 Hey.Huh? 1181 01:03:22,537 --> 01:03:24,801 I have an idea.What kind of idea? 1182 01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:28,587 Just follow my lead. It's gonna be great. 1183 01:03:28,587 --> 01:03:30,589 Test. Testing. 1184 01:03:30,589 --> 01:03:32,112 Oh, yeah. This is great This is great. 1185 01:03:32,112 --> 01:03:34,158 ♪♪ One, two, three-- 1186 01:03:34,158 --> 01:03:36,116 Oh, yeah. Everybody follow me. 1187 01:03:36,116 --> 01:03:37,639 How are you, my man? Good seeing you. 1188 01:03:37,639 --> 01:03:39,641 This is some party, don't you think? 1189 01:03:39,641 --> 01:03:42,296 Beautiful people here this evening. 1190 01:03:42,296 --> 01:03:46,474 Hey, uh, listen-- How many dreamers, by a show of hands, do we have? 1191 01:03:46,474 --> 01:03:48,912 Where are the dreamers? All the dreamers? 1192 01:03:48,912 --> 01:03:51,610 Little around there. There's some dreamers. 1193 01:03:51,610 --> 01:03:52,959 I'm a dreamer. 1194 01:03:52,959 --> 01:03:56,049 Hey-- The dog. 1195 01:03:56,049 --> 01:03:57,529 Get the dog. 1196 01:03:59,444 --> 01:04:02,229 Right. I got it. I got it, baby. 1197 01:04:02,229 --> 01:04:04,753 Yes. The dog.Got this one. 1198 01:04:04,753 --> 01:04:07,191 Yeah, I-- You almost got me. 1199 01:04:07,191 --> 01:04:09,671 Well, I too am a dreamer. 1200 01:04:09,671 --> 01:04:12,326 And I had a dream that my dog would race... 1201 01:04:12,326 --> 01:04:14,415 on this beautiful track tomorrow afternoon, 1202 01:04:14,415 --> 01:04:17,549 but that dream just won't happen because our dog has been scratched... 1203 01:04:17,549 --> 01:04:19,681 due to financial technicalities. 1204 01:04:19,681 --> 01:04:21,596 ♪♪ 1205 01:04:21,596 --> 01:04:24,861 ♪♪ 1206 01:04:41,268 --> 01:04:44,793 Eddie "Left Hands" Norton, everybody. Wow. 1207 01:04:46,534 --> 01:04:50,190 What a surprise that is. You don't know the half of it. 1208 01:04:50,190 --> 01:04:53,367 But Eddie's beautiful music only underscores the fact... 1209 01:04:53,367 --> 01:04:55,761 that my dog has been scratched. 1210 01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:58,329 Scratched on paper. 1211 01:04:58,329 --> 01:05:01,114 Not scratched in spirit. Yeah. 1212 01:05:01,114 --> 01:05:04,683 And-And this man, Dodge-- This is Dodge, our trainer, and-- 1213 01:05:04,683 --> 01:05:06,554 Come-Come on. 1214 01:05:06,554 --> 01:05:09,862 This is Dodge and our dog Iggy. 1215 01:05:09,862 --> 01:05:13,170 And I know to look at him-- Sure, he looks a little mangy... 1216 01:05:13,170 --> 01:05:15,824 and sickly lookin' and in need of a bath, 1217 01:05:15,824 --> 01:05:19,263 but I tell you, Iggy's a special dog. 1218 01:05:19,263 --> 01:05:21,918 You know, we found Iggy in a Dumpster. 1219 01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:23,745 Damn near dead. 1220 01:05:23,745 --> 01:05:25,878 Hadn't eaten in days. 1221 01:05:25,878 --> 01:05:28,707 But like most underdogs, Iggy's a survivor-- 1222 01:05:28,707 --> 01:05:33,320 Like Seabiscuit, Rocky, Destiny's Child. All survivors. 1223 01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:35,670 You know, I guess I'm just sayin' this... 1224 01:05:35,670 --> 01:05:37,324 to say that, Mr. Kirby, I don't know why... 1225 01:05:37,324 --> 01:05:39,239 you're not letting our dog race tomorrow, 1226 01:05:39,239 --> 01:05:41,372 but he's already a winner in my book, 1227 01:05:41,372 --> 01:05:45,854 and I'll put money on my Dumpster dog any day of the week. 1228 01:05:45,854 --> 01:05:47,856 Yeah!Any day, Ralph. 1229 01:05:47,856 --> 01:05:50,381 So would I!Me too! 1230 01:05:52,209 --> 01:05:54,515 You're not buying any of this crap, are you? 1231 01:05:54,515 --> 01:05:57,170 A homeless Dumpster dog. You're kiddin'. 1232 01:05:57,170 --> 01:06:00,739 People are gonna be fallin' all over themselves bettin' on him. 1233 01:06:00,739 --> 01:06:03,742 Mr. Davis, I'm sorry.If that dog wins, I'm screwed. 1234 01:06:03,742 --> 01:06:07,659 That dog will never win. You see for yourself. 1235 01:06:07,659 --> 01:06:09,878 Mr. Kramden? 1236 01:06:09,878 --> 01:06:12,272 Iggy-- He's in. 1237 01:06:12,272 --> 01:06:13,752 He's in! 1238 01:06:17,495 --> 01:06:20,019 Bet on Iggy! Iggy! 1239 01:06:20,019 --> 01:06:22,456 Excuse me. Excuse me. What's going on here? 1240 01:06:22,456 --> 01:06:25,242 Who are they? It's my piano. 1241 01:06:26,808 --> 01:06:30,116 Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! Iggy! 1242 01:06:39,038 --> 01:06:41,432 Ralph Kramden, if you think you can just waltz back in here... 1243 01:06:41,432 --> 01:06:43,390 and everything's gonna be fine, you have another-- 1244 01:06:43,390 --> 01:06:46,219 Oh. It's you guys. 1245 01:06:46,219 --> 01:06:48,874 And that dog. 1246 01:06:48,874 --> 01:06:52,095 What's going on?Ed's got quite a story. 1247 01:06:52,095 --> 01:06:54,010 He wants you to hear it. 1248 01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:17,337 He won't be up there.Who? 1249 01:07:17,337 --> 01:07:19,296 Dodge. That's who you're lookin' for, right? 1250 01:07:19,296 --> 01:07:21,167 Oh, sure. Exactly. Dodge. Yeah. 1251 01:07:21,167 --> 01:07:23,604 Oh, there he is. Hey, Dodge. 1252 01:07:23,604 --> 01:07:25,258 Dodge! 1253 01:07:25,258 --> 01:07:27,913 Hey. Hey, guys, what's up? How you doin'? 1254 01:07:27,913 --> 01:07:30,959 You probably thought that I was stealin' his money, right? No. 1255 01:07:30,959 --> 01:07:33,484 We're friends. We do that all the time. Yeah. Lonnie. Lonnie. 1256 01:07:33,484 --> 01:07:36,748 Hey, tag, you're it, man. See you at the barbecue next weekend. 1257 01:07:36,748 --> 01:07:39,577 Man! Look at you fellas, man. 1258 01:07:39,577 --> 01:07:42,275 You look mackin', packin', "blackadocious." 1259 01:07:42,275 --> 01:07:45,452 Your first race-- You know, if Iggy wins that first heat, man, 1260 01:07:45,452 --> 01:07:48,194 we're gonna go for the real money in the second race, a'ight? Now go up. 1261 01:07:48,194 --> 01:07:50,892 I'm gonna take Iggy. I want you guys to go up to the owners' booth. 1262 01:07:50,892 --> 01:07:53,721 Go up into the box up there. Enjoy yourselves. Don't be nervous. 1263 01:07:59,771 --> 01:08:01,555 What are you lookin' for? 1264 01:08:01,555 --> 01:08:04,297 I'm just-- Where is that popcorn man? 1265 01:08:05,603 --> 01:08:07,996 She's not comin', Norton. 1266 01:08:07,996 --> 01:08:10,390 I know you tried. You my boy. 1267 01:08:10,390 --> 01:08:13,524 Yeah.Yeah, man. It's okay. 1268 01:08:13,524 --> 01:08:16,135 Should we go down there? 1269 01:08:16,135 --> 01:08:17,963 No, no, Trix. I'm not ready yet. 1270 01:08:17,963 --> 01:08:20,357 Are you waiting to see if he wins? No. 1271 01:08:20,357 --> 01:08:22,489 Waitin' to see if he loses. 1272 01:08:22,489 --> 01:08:24,665 I know it'll kill him. 1273 01:08:24,665 --> 01:08:26,798 Ladies and gentlemen, it's post time... 1274 01:08:26,798 --> 01:08:29,279 for our qualifying heat.All right. Let's go, Iggy. 1275 01:08:29,279 --> 01:08:31,411 Do it, baby.Let's go, six! 1276 01:08:35,241 --> 01:08:37,113 And they're off! 1277 01:08:39,158 --> 01:08:40,768 Go, Iggy!Go, go, go! 1278 01:08:56,828 --> 01:09:00,048 Do it! Do it!Go ahead. Oh! 1279 01:09:06,577 --> 01:09:09,319 Stay inside! 1280 01:09:09,319 --> 01:09:11,364 The results for the qualifying heat-- 1281 01:09:11,364 --> 01:09:14,411 In first place, number six, Iggy-- Yes! 1282 01:09:14,411 --> 01:09:16,500 with a time of 31.25.Man, we're gonna get that money. 1283 01:09:16,500 --> 01:09:20,068 We on our way, baby!That dog is unbeatable. 1284 01:09:20,068 --> 01:09:22,462 Don't worry about it. That was just the first heat. 1285 01:09:22,462 --> 01:09:25,465 The final is a whole different ball game. 1286 01:09:25,465 --> 01:09:27,380 Now, that puts him in the race for the money, right? 1287 01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:29,513 Yeah. Yeah. Only Ralph-- 1288 01:09:29,513 --> 01:09:33,212 Our future depends on a dog race. 1289 01:09:33,212 --> 01:09:35,040 I didn't. I didn't sleep with her. 1290 01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:36,737 I just loaned her 10 "K" for plastic surgery. 1291 01:09:36,737 --> 01:09:39,044 Now I don't even know what she looks like. 1292 01:09:39,044 --> 01:09:43,091 A'ight, peace. You know, fellas, he's as ready as he's ever gonna be now. 1293 01:09:43,091 --> 01:09:45,398 Come on, Ig. We gotta review our strategy, baby. 1294 01:09:45,398 --> 01:09:47,792 Norton, it's a dog. 1295 01:09:47,792 --> 01:09:51,491 Ralph, stop hatin'. I'm trying to get Iggy to visualize his success. 1296 01:09:51,491 --> 01:09:54,364 You get him to visualize going back to that Dumpster. 1297 01:09:54,364 --> 01:09:56,801 That'll give him something to think about. 1298 01:09:59,934 --> 01:10:01,849 I'm sorry, guys. 1299 01:10:01,849 --> 01:10:03,764 Uh, nerves. 1300 01:10:03,764 --> 01:10:05,201 Iggy's got this one in the bag, Ralph. 1301 01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,767 I don't know, fellas. 1302 01:10:06,767 --> 01:10:08,943 This race is a lot tougher than you guys think. 1303 01:10:08,943 --> 01:10:10,728 Oh, man, there you go hatin'. 1304 01:10:10,728 --> 01:10:13,339 Iggy is goin'-- Them other dogs ain't-- Damn! 1305 01:10:16,168 --> 01:10:18,518 That ain't a damn dog. That's a horse. 1306 01:10:18,518 --> 01:10:21,434 Welcome to the big time, fellas. Welcome to the big time. 1307 01:10:21,434 --> 01:10:24,916 Come on, Iggy. If you win that race, you get this. 1308 01:10:28,789 --> 01:10:30,965 What do you think?Let's not jinx 'em. 1309 01:10:30,965 --> 01:10:32,271 Let's just see 'em after the race. 1310 01:10:32,271 --> 01:10:33,707 After they win the money? 1311 01:10:33,707 --> 01:10:35,666 Let's hope. 1312 01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:37,624 Now the featured race of the day-- 1313 01:10:37,624 --> 01:10:39,887 the New Jersey Park Stadium Anniversary Derby... 1314 01:10:39,887 --> 01:10:43,064 for a $20,000 prize purse.Go, Iggy! 1315 01:10:43,064 --> 01:10:45,502 When you hear that bell, run like hell. 1316 01:10:45,502 --> 01:10:47,504 Go get 'em, Iggy. 1317 01:10:47,504 --> 01:10:49,375 Come on. Do everything I taught you. Come on. 1318 01:11:00,081 --> 01:11:02,519 And they're off! 1319 01:11:05,043 --> 01:11:08,829 Go, Iggy! Come on, Ig! 1320 01:11:11,310 --> 01:11:12,877 Come on, Iggy. Go, Iggy. 1321 01:11:16,663 --> 01:11:18,361 Come on, Iggy! Get out of there! 1322 01:11:24,323 --> 01:11:27,631 Iggy's in trouble. He's boxed in. 1323 01:11:27,631 --> 01:11:29,023 Run, Iggy! Run! 1324 01:11:30,503 --> 01:11:33,550 Maybe he needs his good-luck charm. 1325 01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:37,249 Come on, Ig. Win this race and it's yours! 1326 01:11:44,038 --> 01:11:46,954 Oh, no! 1327 01:11:46,954 --> 01:11:51,437 Norton-- No! 1328 01:11:51,437 --> 01:11:53,309 Ha. 1329 01:11:57,661 --> 01:12:00,794 At the finish line, it's Bahama Mama, 1330 01:12:00,794 --> 01:12:05,016 Henry V, and Pavlov's Dog takes third. 1331 01:12:05,016 --> 01:12:07,671 All owners please proceed to the clubhouse... 1332 01:12:07,671 --> 01:12:11,675 for the presentation of the $20,000 purse. 1333 01:12:16,506 --> 01:12:18,986 What were you thinkin', distractin' him like that? 1334 01:12:18,986 --> 01:12:20,640 I was just trying to encourage him, Ralph. 1335 01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,294 You encouraged him, all right. 1336 01:12:22,294 --> 01:12:24,992 You encouraged him away from $20,000! 1337 01:12:24,992 --> 01:12:28,169 Ralph, stop yellin' at me. He's gonna think you're yellin' at him. 1338 01:12:28,169 --> 01:12:32,826 I'm not yelling at the dog. He's just a dumb animal. What's your excuse? 1339 01:12:32,826 --> 01:12:34,262 Ralph. 1340 01:12:34,262 --> 01:12:35,873 Ed, you know we needed this money. 1341 01:12:35,873 --> 01:12:39,267 Now Alice will never take me back-- because of you. 1342 01:12:39,267 --> 01:12:41,444 Ralph, calm down. I thought we were boys, man. 1343 01:12:41,444 --> 01:12:44,664 No, no. We're not boys. We're not friends. 1344 01:12:44,664 --> 01:12:46,884 We're notnothin'! I'm done. 1345 01:12:46,884 --> 01:12:50,104 That's the way you feel?That's how I feel. 1346 01:12:50,104 --> 01:12:53,369 And stay off my fire escape. 1347 01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:57,024 Come on, Iggy. Come on, y'all. 1348 01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:01,420 Alice. 1349 01:13:41,721 --> 01:13:43,680 Pet Cactus-- 1350 01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:46,204 What was I thinkin'? Shoot. 1351 01:13:49,555 --> 01:13:51,644 Yeah, yeah. 1352 01:13:51,644 --> 01:13:54,255 "Learn and Succeed." Yeah, right. 1353 01:13:58,608 --> 01:14:02,089 Bart Roberts. 1354 01:14:02,089 --> 01:14:05,310 I was a sucker for ever believin' in you. 1355 01:14:05,310 --> 01:14:07,355 Yeah, I won't be a sucker again though. 1356 01:14:10,358 --> 01:14:12,883 Kawakami. 1357 01:14:12,883 --> 01:14:16,626 I should have let you get this train since you wanted it so bad. 1358 01:14:20,673 --> 01:14:22,675 Maybe you still do. 1359 01:14:22,675 --> 01:14:24,416 Mmm-- 1360 01:14:25,896 --> 01:14:29,203 Aaah! 1361 01:14:29,203 --> 01:14:32,337 Don't burn up. Come on. Don't burn up. 1362 01:14:39,779 --> 01:14:42,826 Okay. 1363 01:14:57,405 --> 01:14:59,843 I might be able to take it off your hands. 1364 01:14:59,843 --> 01:15:03,499 Well, uh, the price has gone up considerably. 1365 01:15:03,499 --> 01:15:07,807 I mean, we have to take into account my time, storage, 1366 01:15:07,807 --> 01:15:10,767 um, fees, shipping, postage, handling-- 1367 01:15:10,767 --> 01:15:12,595 You know, a lot of things like that. 1368 01:15:12,595 --> 01:15:13,987 What is your price? 1369 01:15:20,298 --> 01:15:23,475 25,000.25,000? 1370 01:15:23,475 --> 01:15:27,392 Okay, that was too much. Okay, 20,000. 1371 01:15:27,392 --> 01:15:29,916 20,000 will be fine. 1372 01:15:32,745 --> 01:15:34,530 I'm gonna need a check right now. 1373 01:15:48,718 --> 01:15:50,807 Hey, Larry.Ralph Kramden. 1374 01:15:50,807 --> 01:15:52,983 What's, uh-- What's goin' on? What, are you in trouble? 1375 01:15:52,983 --> 01:15:56,595 Look, man, I gotta get to Q's Diner by 9:00 a.m. 1376 01:15:56,595 --> 01:15:58,858 You go that way, right?Not by 9:00 a.m. Look at it. 1377 01:15:58,858 --> 01:16:02,949 It's, like, total gridlock. 1378 01:16:02,949 --> 01:16:05,169 Hello? 1379 01:16:05,169 --> 01:16:08,564 Hey, Q. It's Ralph Kramden-- Alice's husband. 1380 01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:09,869 No, no. She's not here. 1381 01:16:09,869 --> 01:16:11,610 No, I got the check for the house. 1382 01:16:11,610 --> 01:16:14,700 Please. Health inspector here. Health inspector? 1383 01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,659 Don't hang up, Q! 1384 01:16:16,659 --> 01:16:19,313 I gotta get over there. 1385 01:16:19,313 --> 01:16:23,796 Welcome to your new positions in the New York City sewer system. 1386 01:16:23,796 --> 01:16:27,713 Today you'll join an elite group of dedicated and dependable professionals. 1387 01:16:27,713 --> 01:16:30,890 You lucky few have survived a rigorous application process, 1388 01:16:30,890 --> 01:16:34,111 interviews and psychological profiles. 1389 01:16:34,111 --> 01:16:37,636 Actually, Ed, these are all convicted felons of violent crimes... 1390 01:16:37,636 --> 01:16:39,638 taking part in a work-release program. 1391 01:16:41,684 --> 01:16:44,425 And since there are no questions-- 1392 01:16:44,425 --> 01:16:46,210 I got one for you. 1393 01:16:48,081 --> 01:16:50,954 Two men are born five blocks apart. 1394 01:16:50,954 --> 01:16:53,260 They've been best friends for 30 years, 1395 01:16:53,260 --> 01:16:57,569 until one of 'em says some really stupid things he didn't mean. 1396 01:16:57,569 --> 01:17:00,137 How does he get the other guy to forgive him? 1397 01:17:00,137 --> 01:17:02,618 I'm not the one who's good at riddles. Remember, Ralph? 1398 01:17:02,618 --> 01:17:07,753 Neither am I.What are you talkin' about? 1399 01:17:07,753 --> 01:17:11,539 You know that book of riddles you keep on your coffee table? 1400 01:17:13,193 --> 01:17:16,893 I found it, got me a copy and memorized it. 1401 01:17:16,893 --> 01:17:18,982 You mean to tell me-- 1402 01:17:21,332 --> 01:17:24,030 Norton. 1403 01:17:24,030 --> 01:17:26,816 Norton, come on. Norton. 1404 01:17:26,816 --> 01:17:28,208 What, Ralph What? 1405 01:17:28,208 --> 01:17:31,647 You've always thought I was the smart one. 1406 01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:34,693 And if you ever stopped thinking that then... 1407 01:17:34,693 --> 01:17:36,739 I don't know what I would be anymore. 1408 01:17:40,438 --> 01:17:41,961 You really mean that, Ralph? 1409 01:17:43,441 --> 01:17:46,444 Yeah. I'm sorry. 1410 01:17:48,228 --> 01:17:50,187 Come on, Ed. 1411 01:17:50,187 --> 01:17:52,406 You're makin' me cry.Don't start, man. Will you-- 1412 01:17:52,406 --> 01:17:55,627 Why do you come down here and make me cry in front of all these convicts? 1413 01:17:55,627 --> 01:17:59,762 Now, stop it, man. I mean, I'm trying to just say what I gotta say. 1414 01:17:59,762 --> 01:18:01,285 Look, hey.Yeah. 1415 01:18:01,285 --> 01:18:03,156 Look, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1416 01:18:03,156 --> 01:18:05,115 You know what I'm sayin' 1417 01:18:05,115 --> 01:18:06,594 No, you're okay. 1418 01:18:06,594 --> 01:18:08,335 Look, this doesn't change everything. 1419 01:18:08,335 --> 01:18:09,946 We still have issues between each other. 1420 01:18:09,946 --> 01:18:12,296 Look, okay. I understand that. 1421 01:18:12,296 --> 01:18:13,863 But I got the money for the house. 1422 01:18:13,863 --> 01:18:16,169 You did?I gotta get the check 1423 01:18:16,169 --> 01:18:18,824 to the diner before 9:00 a.m. It's total gridlock up there. 1424 01:18:18,824 --> 01:18:21,871 I need someone who knows the city beneath the city. 1425 01:18:21,871 --> 01:18:25,091 I need a specialist. I need you, Ed. 1426 01:18:25,091 --> 01:18:29,835 I got you. 1427 01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:31,837 But I have conditions. 1428 01:18:31,837 --> 01:18:34,666 Condition number one. You gotta start lettin' me pick stuff. 1429 01:18:34,666 --> 01:18:36,059 What are you talkin' about? 1430 01:18:36,059 --> 01:18:37,625 You always get to pick the restaurants. 1431 01:18:37,625 --> 01:18:39,758 You always get to pick the movies. 1432 01:18:39,758 --> 01:18:42,674 That's because if we let you pick stuff, nothing would ever get decided. 1433 01:18:48,898 --> 01:18:51,814 Fine! You can pick stuff. 1434 01:18:53,772 --> 01:18:56,601 Second up, when we get around new people, 1435 01:18:56,601 --> 01:18:59,082 you have to start referring to me as "Edward." 1436 01:19:01,432 --> 01:19:03,782 Only you would pick a shortcut like this. 1437 01:19:03,782 --> 01:19:07,264 That's another one. You gotta stop makin' fun of me. 1438 01:19:07,264 --> 01:19:11,834 I'll admit, the way I do things is a little unorthodox, but that's me. 1439 01:19:11,834 --> 01:19:14,097 The way you do things is ridiculous. 1440 01:19:14,097 --> 01:19:16,708 Oh, I'm the one who looks ridiculous? Yeah. 1441 01:19:16,708 --> 01:19:18,275 Aaah! 1442 01:19:21,974 --> 01:19:24,237 - That ain't even funny. - Oh, yes, it is. 1443 01:19:24,237 --> 01:19:26,283 We gotta go. Come on. Let's rock. 1444 01:19:28,807 --> 01:19:31,767 Okay, Ralph, this is the big one. Hmm? 1445 01:19:31,767 --> 01:19:34,030 You gotta promise to me that you will never yell at me... 1446 01:19:34,030 --> 01:19:36,075 or get mad at me ever, ever again. 1447 01:19:36,075 --> 01:19:39,209 Done.Put it on your family jewels. 1448 01:19:39,209 --> 01:19:41,559 Put it on my family-- Oh, fine. 1449 01:19:41,559 --> 01:19:46,346 I put it on my family jewels that I will never get mad or holler at you again. 1450 01:19:46,346 --> 01:19:49,088 Good. 'Cause we're lost. 1451 01:19:49,088 --> 01:19:51,874 You-- 1452 01:19:51,874 --> 01:19:54,093 Family jewels. 1453 01:19:54,093 --> 01:19:57,270 So, Edward 1454 01:19:57,270 --> 01:19:59,882 How do you suggest we proceed from here? 1455 01:19:59,882 --> 01:20:02,362 Well, there's two ways we can go. Either that way or that way. 1456 01:20:04,060 --> 01:20:06,192 Why don't we let you pick? 1457 01:20:06,192 --> 01:20:10,066 Let me pick? That's my man. That's what I'm talkin' about. 1458 01:20:10,066 --> 01:20:11,981 Which way? 1459 01:20:11,981 --> 01:20:13,809 That way. 1460 01:20:17,421 --> 01:20:20,293 It's this way, Ralph. 1461 01:20:21,991 --> 01:20:23,383 This should be it. Straight up. 1462 01:20:23,383 --> 01:20:24,907 Let's hope. 1463 01:20:31,827 --> 01:20:33,654 Hey, Norton, this is it. You're my man, dog. 1464 01:20:35,308 --> 01:20:37,441 Aaah! 1465 01:20:48,539 --> 01:20:50,889 Ralph, what are you waitin' for? 1466 01:20:50,889 --> 01:20:53,152 There's an S.U.V. on the manhole cover. 1467 01:20:53,152 --> 01:20:55,198 You're yellin', Ralph. 1468 01:20:55,198 --> 01:20:57,809 This way is blocked, and it's Davis. 1469 01:20:57,809 --> 01:20:59,985 Okay, another manhole, two blocks down. 1470 01:21:01,857 --> 01:21:04,903 You think we're too late?Not if she hasn't signed yet. 1471 01:21:07,645 --> 01:21:09,125 You don't have to read it. 1472 01:21:11,954 --> 01:21:15,435 Oh. Glad you two made up. But Alice isn't here, Ralph. 1473 01:21:15,435 --> 01:21:17,350 She didn't want to stick around and watch that. 1474 01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:19,265 Ma'am, don't sign that! 1475 01:21:20,876 --> 01:21:23,879 That's no good.That's good. 1476 01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:27,012 Miss Benvenuti--Oh, no, no. Don't put that down. 1477 01:21:27,012 --> 01:21:30,276 You can't stop once you've started. It's-- It's unethical. 1478 01:21:30,276 --> 01:21:32,365 I'm Ralph Kramden, Alice's husband. 1479 01:21:32,365 --> 01:21:35,803 Uh, oh, well, this is, uh-- Well-- Mr. Q? 1480 01:21:35,803 --> 01:21:37,718 It's a little wet, isn't it? It's dirty, but, uh-- 1481 01:21:37,718 --> 01:21:39,764 I mean, we can blow-dry it off and do whatever-- 1482 01:21:39,764 --> 01:21:41,897 But it's for you. 1483 01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,987 I'll take the check as is. 1484 01:21:44,987 --> 01:21:47,511 Okay, everyone, just-- 1485 01:21:47,511 --> 01:21:50,122 Look, I'll-- I'll give you even more, all right? 1486 01:21:50,122 --> 01:21:52,124 Thank you--You got it. 1487 01:21:52,124 --> 01:21:54,822 but I don't think so. 1488 01:21:54,822 --> 01:21:57,129 I'd rather have my house remain a home. 1489 01:21:57,129 --> 01:22:00,393 Yeah! Thank you, Miss Benvenuti. Thank you. 1490 01:22:00,393 --> 01:22:03,353 Thank you.Thank you, Mr. Kramden. 1491 01:22:03,353 --> 01:22:05,833 It's a pleasure doing business with you. 1492 01:22:05,833 --> 01:22:09,533 You can't do this to me.Nobody's doing anything to you. 1493 01:22:09,533 --> 01:22:11,361 This is business. 1494 01:22:11,361 --> 01:22:12,840 It's not personal. 1495 01:22:17,628 --> 01:22:20,065 Miss Benvenuti, we'll be calling you. 1496 01:22:20,065 --> 01:22:22,241 All right. 1497 01:23:14,119 --> 01:23:16,861 Ralph-- 1498 01:23:16,861 --> 01:23:19,733 Just give me a second, okay? 1499 01:23:22,606 --> 01:23:26,523 Alice, I've wasted so much time, 1500 01:23:26,523 --> 01:23:29,656 made so many bad choices. 1501 01:23:31,310 --> 01:23:34,183 There's only one thing I've ever done right, 1502 01:23:34,183 --> 01:23:36,054 and that's love you. 1503 01:23:39,231 --> 01:23:40,972 Baby, let's go home. 1504 01:23:44,323 --> 01:23:46,586 You mean the one we just bought? 1505 01:23:48,588 --> 01:23:50,242 How did-- How did you do that? 1506 01:23:50,242 --> 01:23:52,984 Norton helped out a little bit, 1507 01:23:52,984 --> 01:23:55,160 but no one deserves this more than you, Alice. 1508 01:23:56,944 --> 01:23:59,686 Baby, you're the greatest. 1509 01:24:15,441 --> 01:24:17,443 All right, guys, quit your pissin' and moanin'. 1510 01:24:17,443 --> 01:24:20,533 The doghouse is not that heavy, and it goes in the back... 1511 01:24:20,533 --> 01:24:22,927 facing east so it gets feng shui, you got it? 1512 01:24:22,927 --> 01:24:24,972 And Mama Gibson, please don't drop another box. 1513 01:24:24,972 --> 01:24:26,583 I don't got insurance, okay? 1514 01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:29,020 You don't have no manners either, Mr. Eazy Dodge. 1515 01:24:29,020 --> 01:24:31,327 You're gonna get into it with me, are you? That's all right. 1516 01:24:31,327 --> 01:24:34,243 Ladies, please hurry up. We're gonna have a lunch break. 1517 01:24:34,243 --> 01:24:37,115 ...and make this house a home. Amen. Amen. 1518 01:24:37,115 --> 01:24:38,377 All right, eat up, everybody. 1519 01:24:38,377 --> 01:24:41,641 Thank you, sweetheart. 1520 01:24:41,641 --> 01:24:44,253 Y'all, here we are-- Finally. 1521 01:24:44,253 --> 01:24:46,429 To our own home. 1522 01:24:46,429 --> 01:24:48,909 Cheers, y'all. Cheers. 1523 01:24:50,868 --> 01:24:53,479 Hey, Ralph. Ralph. I got a surprise for you. Let go. 1524 01:24:53,479 --> 01:24:55,873 Let go. Let go. Good boy. 1525 01:24:55,873 --> 01:24:58,310 I trained Iggy, right? He's gonna be your dog servant. 1526 01:24:58,310 --> 01:25:01,270 Fetch you a beer, get you a newspaper when you want. 1527 01:25:01,270 --> 01:25:04,534 Isn't that your train right there? 1528 01:25:04,534 --> 01:25:06,579 Would you look at that? A million dollars. 1529 01:25:06,579 --> 01:25:09,147 Yeah, Ralph. Isn't that your train? 1530 01:25:09,147 --> 01:25:10,627 The one with the solid brass trim? 1531 01:25:10,627 --> 01:25:13,325 Shut up.What? Oh, yo, man. I'm sorry. 1532 01:25:13,325 --> 01:25:14,892 I'm sorry. 1533 01:25:14,892 --> 01:25:16,720 Ralph, you gonna watch the game later on? 1534 01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:18,461 Solid brass? 1535 01:25:18,461 --> 01:25:20,463 Ralph, you said you wasn't gonna get mad at me no more. 1536 01:25:20,463 --> 01:25:23,988 No. No, Norton, I'm not gonna get mad. 1537 01:25:23,988 --> 01:25:27,339 No, I'm not gonna yell. I'm just gonna kill you! 1538 01:25:27,339 --> 01:25:29,559 Where you goin'?Run, baby! 1539 01:25:29,559 --> 01:25:33,563 I know where there's another train-- and it's got a bell too. 1540 01:25:33,563 --> 01:25:36,000 You better know where there's another train. 1541 01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:38,089 Come on, man! For real! 1542 01:25:57,978 --> 01:26:01,156 See, Ed here is a special child. 1543 01:26:18,521 --> 01:26:21,263 Stop rubbing on his balls. Get out the chair, Iggy. 1544 01:26:21,263 --> 01:26:24,048 Is that his balls? Oh, man. Why didn't you tell me? 1545 01:26:24,048 --> 01:26:26,746 Well, my father used to train neglected Chihuahuas 1546 01:26:26,746 --> 01:26:30,533 with Down Syndrome, and then-- 1547 01:26:30,533 --> 01:26:32,796 It's not that he has any kind of mental problem, 1548 01:26:32,796 --> 01:26:35,494 he just likes 1549 01:26:35,494 --> 01:26:39,629 Let it go. Sitting up here looking like a birthday balloon. 1550 01:26:39,629 --> 01:26:41,979 Sitting up here looking like a bottle of dishwashing liquid. 1551 01:26:41,979 --> 01:26:43,720 Kumquat-- Summer squash-- Stick of butter, 1552 01:26:43,720 --> 01:26:45,852 and you want me to let it go? 1553 01:26:45,852 --> 01:26:47,158 You look more like a piece of-- 1554 01:29:24,663 --> 01:29:26,622 I'm Ronald.And I'm Ernie. 1555 01:29:26,622 --> 01:29:28,754 And we're the Isley brothers.