1 00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:04,937 ? I am the stone The builder refused ? 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,404 ? I am the visual The inspiration ? 3 00:00:06,405 --> 00:00:07,872 ? That made lady Sing the blues ? 4 00:00:07,873 --> 00:00:09,774 ? I'm the spark That makes your idea bright ? 5 00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:11,376 ? The same spark That lights the dark ? 6 00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,378 ? So that you can know Your left from your right ? 7 00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:15,414 ? I am the ballot in your box The bullet in the gun ? 8 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:16,948 ? The inner glow That lets you know ? 9 00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:18,050 ? To call your brother sun ? 10 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,351 ? The story that just begun ? 11 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,752 ? The promise Of what's to come ? 12 00:00:20,753 --> 00:00:21,919 ? And I'm a remain a soldier ? 13 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,855 ? Till the war is won ? 14 00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:26,491 ? Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ? 15 00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:29,161 ? Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ? 16 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,796 ? Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ? 17 00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:33,199 ? Chop, chop, chop ? 18 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:46,645 Hey! 19 00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:48,414 Hey! 20 00:00:49,348 --> 00:00:50,983 Hey! 21 00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,485 Watch where you're walking, nigga. 22 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:55,287 H-hey, what you say, nigga? 23 00:00:55,288 --> 00:00:57,221 Watch closely. 24 00:00:57,222 --> 00:00:59,458 You're about to experience a "Nigga Moment. " 25 00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:02,394 Webster defines the "Nigga Moment" 26 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,795 as a moment when ignorance overwhelms the mind 27 00:01:04,796 --> 00:01:07,299 of an otherwise logical Negro male- 28 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,001 What did you say, bitch nigga? 29 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,803 Hey, squeeze it, nigga! 30 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,805 -causing him to act in an illogical, 31 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:16,842 self-destructive manner, I. E., like a nigga. 32 00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:18,244 You want it? Right here. 33 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,085 Nigga Moments are unpredictable. 34 00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:30,155 Hey, wait, man. Wait. This is stupid. 35 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,689 Hey, you right, dawg. 36 00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:34,092 Look, let's put the guns away and go on about our business. 37 00:01:34,093 --> 00:01:35,828 Freeze! 38 00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:38,997 But they all end up bad. 39 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:41,933 If they had their own category, Nigga Moments 40 00:01:41,934 --> 00:01:44,002 would be the third leading killer of black men 41 00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:45,570 behind pork chops and FEMA. 42 00:01:45,571 --> 00:01:48,106 It's a fact. 43 00:01:48,107 --> 00:01:49,974 Now, let's see how a Nigga Moment 44 00:01:49,975 --> 00:01:51,309 affects a white man. 45 00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:52,277 Prick. 46 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:54,179 Watch where you walkin', bitch. 47 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,047 What did you-? 48 00:01:56,048 --> 00:01:57,115 Wait a minute. 49 00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:59,351 I'm white. 50 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,487 Where you goin'? 51 00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:04,055 Don't you ignore me. 52 00:02:04,056 --> 00:02:05,423 This is a perfectly good moment 53 00:02:05,424 --> 00:02:07,092 to throw your life away. 54 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:09,861 A big misconception about the Nigga Moment 55 00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:11,195 is that it can be avoided 56 00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:13,297 by simply moving away from niggas. 57 00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:15,333 If only it were that easy. 58 00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:17,803 See, niggas always got a new trick 59 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,903 right around the corner. 60 00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:27,946 ? Ha-da-da-da, ha? 61 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,148 ? Doo-dah-dah-deh-deh? 62 00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,117 ? Tuh? 63 00:02:33,018 --> 00:02:34,152 Listen up, boys. 64 00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,722 I'm about to sing the "New Shoes" song. 65 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,290 ? New shoes? 66 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:41,059 ? New shoooooes? 67 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,260 ? Woo-hoo? 68 00:02:42,261 --> 00:02:44,229 Boy, Nike makes some good shoes. 69 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,163 Hoo! 70 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:48,266 ? Ave Maria? 71 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:50,737 Oh! 72 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,873 What the hell? 73 00:02:55,874 --> 00:02:58,009 Hey! What's goin' on, man? Damn! 74 00:02:58,010 --> 00:02:59,578 I know there's nobody in my space. 75 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,312 This is handicapped parking. Isn't it? 76 00:03:01,313 --> 00:03:03,081 Don't do that, don't do that! 77 00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:04,916 Yo, man, watch where you're going. 78 00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:06,551 Stupid son of a bitch! 79 00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:10,388 Every Nigga Moment begins with the nigga. 80 00:03:10,389 --> 00:03:12,223 Without that key element, 81 00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:15,860 all you're left with is peace and quiet. 82 00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:19,030 Colonel H. Stinkmeaner is, and always has been, 83 00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:21,532 a cantankerous, ornery old man. 84 00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:24,669 He spent his childhood disagreeing with most things, 85 00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:27,205 especially things involving happiness, 86 00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,707 unity and kindness. 87 00:03:29,708 --> 00:03:33,411 Stinkmeaner got no pleasure seeing sunsets and trees, 88 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:34,846 dolphins or rainbows. 89 00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:37,983 Man, this some old bullshit. 90 00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,619 So he didn't particularly mind 91 00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,989 when at age 15, he lost his sight to cancer. 92 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,224 At least I don't have to look at your ugly ass no more. 93 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,026 The doctors gave him three years to live. 94 00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:49,761 So he dedicated those three years 95 00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:52,464 to spreading a lifetime of misery and hatred. 96 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,999 You danged fool! 97 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,235 Nobody knows how Stinkmeaner managed to live so long. 98 00:03:57,236 --> 00:04:00,372 He believed it was his love of hatred that kept him going. 99 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,840 Who in the hell parked in my space? 100 00:04:02,841 --> 00:04:05,844 That's like calling 1-800-Collect-An-Ass-Whupping. 101 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:09,514 And no, that ain't no toll-free call, partner. 102 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,149 You hit my car! 103 00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,417 Are you blind? 104 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,753 Yes, I am! So? 105 00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:16,788 Wait. You're blind? 106 00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:17,756 Yes! 107 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,324 Blind! 108 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,994 You got a problem with that, ni-yagga? 109 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,996 You could have killed somebody. 110 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,999 I-I'd be doing them a favor. 111 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,366 Getting run over by me 112 00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,368 is as close to an honorable death 113 00:04:30,369 --> 00:04:33,003 as most of these people are gonna get. 114 00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:37,041 Some days, I'm quite the humanitarian. 115 00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:40,045 I think I hit a wheelchair on the way over here. Heh. 116 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:43,715 Oh, look what you did to Dorothy. 117 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,350 You'd better have insurance. 118 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,119 Ni-yagga, you better have insurance! 119 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,188 Ass-whupping insurance. 120 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,957 And you about to pay a deductible. 121 00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:54,525 And just like that, 122 00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:57,228 my granddad was trapped in a Nigga Moment. 123 00:04:57,229 --> 00:04:58,663 At this point, he can: 124 00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:08,306 Let's see which one he chooses. 125 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:11,276 That's right. 126 00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:14,079 I backed into your car, ni-yagga. 127 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,447 What you gonna do? 128 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,849 What you gonna do? 129 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:19,651 Oh, hell nah. 130 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,855 Granddad, let's whup this nigga's ass right now. 131 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:25,757 Bitch-ass, faggot-ass, 132 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:29,227 punk-ass, pussy-ass, bitch-ass nigga. 133 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:30,728 Do you wanna do something, 134 00:05:30,729 --> 00:05:33,231 bitch-ass ni-yagga? 135 00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:35,499 Hold up. 136 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,903 I smell new shoes. 137 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,404 Awe, man. 138 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:40,605 Oh! Not the shoes! 139 00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:42,207 Fool, what you- Hey! 140 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,674 I've said it before. 141 00:05:43,675 --> 00:05:47,779 Expensive sneakers are like $150 land mines. 142 00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:50,082 Step on one and boom! 143 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,951 A perfectly rational black man can explode. 144 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,285 Yeah! 145 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:58,290 They ain't new anymore are they, ni-yagga? 146 00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:01,059 And that nigga's spittin' on you. 147 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,394 You better hit him, Granddad. 148 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,129 Hit him. Hit him! Yeah! 149 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,363 Hit him! 150 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,798 Oh! 151 00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:09,067 Uh-oh. 152 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:11,769 Yeah! My bad knee! 153 00:06:11,770 --> 00:06:13,338 Oh, Lordy-Lordy-Lord. 154 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,073 What you doing, man? My bad knee. 155 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,274 Oh, man. 156 00:06:17,209 --> 00:06:18,277 Huh? 157 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,515 This fight is over. 158 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,919 ? It's the eye of the tiger It's the cream of the fight ? 159 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:32,223 ? Rising up to the challenge Of our rival ? 160 00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:33,959 I hate this damn song. 161 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,226 I can't believe you got 162 00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:38,630 your ass kicked by a blind man, Granddad. 163 00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:41,232 My knee went out. You know I got a bad knee. 164 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:44,001 Bad knee? That nigga had bad eyes. 165 00:06:44,002 --> 00:06:45,603 He couldn't see, Granddad. 166 00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:47,472 He beat you like a piņata. 167 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,073 Nah. 168 00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:53,011 Yo, we can rent Granddad out for Mexican birthday parties. 169 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,514 We can call him Seņor Piņata. 170 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,150 Hola, Seņor Piņata. 171 00:06:59,151 --> 00:07:00,452 Stop it, boy! Stop it. 172 00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,020 Where's my belt? 173 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,789 Whoo. Whoo. 174 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,257 I must be blind too, 175 00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:09,294 'cause I sure didn't see that ass-whupping coming. 176 00:07:10,295 --> 00:07:11,796 Boy. Riley. 177 00:07:11,797 --> 00:07:16,067 Yo, how bad you gotta telegraph your punches 178 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,268 for a blind nigga 179 00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:18,870 to see 'em coming, Granddad? 180 00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,139 Riley, the man had a heightened sense of hearing. 181 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,875 Oh, I thought Granddad had a heightened sense of falling. 182 00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,076 Now, that's enough. 183 00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:27,679 Now, you just stop laughing at your granddaddy. 184 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,781 What's wrong with you? Granddad had "hit me" 185 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,349 written on his forehead in Braille. 186 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,484 I said, that's enough! 187 00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:36,020 Okay. What you gonna do? 188 00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:37,088 Beat me? 189 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,524 Maybe I should get a blindfold first. 190 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,259 Okay, I'm ready. 191 00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:43,561 Wait. 192 00:07:43,562 --> 00:07:45,830 Maybe he gonna fall on me. 193 00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:48,098 Riley, stop. 194 00:07:48,099 --> 00:07:50,969 Granddad... Rodney King just called, 195 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,470 and said... 196 00:07:52,471 --> 00:07:55,407 "Damn, I thought I got my ass whupped!" 197 00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:58,710 Ow! 198 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,069 That night, I dreamt of a blind swordsman. 199 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,905 ? Poisonous paragraphs Smash ya phonograph in half ? 200 00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:29,240 ? It be the Inspector Deck On the warpath ? 201 00:08:29,241 --> 00:08:31,242 ? First class Leavin' mikes with a cast ? 202 00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:33,010 ? Causin' ruckus Like the aftermath ? 203 00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:34,879 ? From guns blast Run fast ? 204 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,648 ? Here comes The verbal assaulter ? 205 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,883 ? Rhymes runnin' wild Like a child in a walker ? 206 00:08:38,884 --> 00:08:40,785 ? I scored From the inner slums abroad ? 207 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:46,257 He knows my every move, yet, he cannot see. 208 00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:49,694 As my mind fights to make sense of the impossible, 209 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,297 he has turned my sight into a liability. 210 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,932 ? ... To electrify ? 211 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,101 ? With voltage of an eel Truth that I'll reveal ? 212 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,937 ? Crush the amateurs Who screamed to keep it real ? 213 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:00,805 ? Caesar black down Hoodied up and fatigues ? 214 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,374 He has no just cause to want my life. 215 00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:06,511 There is no forethought, no logic in his actions. 216 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,713 This isn't just any swordsman. 217 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,382 This is the Blind Nigga Samurai. 218 00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:12,984 What's good, nigga? 219 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,452 What's really good? 220 00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,390 Niggas. 221 00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,425 A Nigga Moment isn't necessarily over 222 00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:23,094 when you think it's over. 223 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:24,996 It kind of hangs around like a unpaid bill. 224 00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:28,299 And in a case of the blind beating the dumb, 225 00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:31,102 security cameras from the Woodcrest Square mall 226 00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:33,404 captured a fight between a blind old man 227 00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:36,040 and an unidentified assailant following a parking dispute. 228 00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:37,107 Aw... 229 00:09:37,108 --> 00:09:39,710 Man. It's just local news. 230 00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:42,347 CNN has now confirmed that it was this man, 231 00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:44,181 Robert Jebediah Freeman, 232 00:09:44,182 --> 00:09:46,551 who got beat up by a slightly older, 233 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,753 significantly blinder gentleman. 234 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,255 Police aren't pressing charges against Mr. Freeman. 235 00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:54,092 They say that ass-whupping was punishment enough. 236 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,493 We at CNN agree. 237 00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:56,594 Granddad, I don't think 238 00:09:56,595 --> 00:09:58,529 you should watch this anymore. 239 00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:00,665 El residente de Woodcrest, Robert Freeman, 240 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:04,268 tiene un nuevo apodo: Seņor Piņata. 241 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,606 Oh, Patty. 242 00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,342 Granddad, you gotta ask yourself, 243 00:10:11,343 --> 00:10:12,643 would you really be better off 244 00:10:12,644 --> 00:10:15,447 if you had beaten up a blind old man in the street? 245 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,047 It was a Nigga Moment, Granddad. 246 00:10:17,048 --> 00:10:18,716 You gotta let it go. 247 00:10:18,717 --> 00:10:21,385 Maybe you're right. 248 00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:23,287 You have reached the Freeman residence. 249 00:10:23,288 --> 00:10:25,256 If this is a lovely cutie-pie, 250 00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:26,791 please leave a message. 251 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,426 Everybody else should just hang up right now, 252 00:10:29,427 --> 00:10:30,662 because I'm not interested. 253 00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,931 Come on, Robert. Pick up the phone. 254 00:10:33,932 --> 00:10:37,034 Pick up the phone. I know you there in hiding. 255 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:39,637 I seen you on the news getting your black ass whupped 256 00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,806 by that blind, old monkey. 257 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:44,308 That's why they shouldn't let niggas go shopping. 258 00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:45,776 Call me back. 259 00:10:45,777 --> 00:10:48,312 Don't you walk away from this answering machine. 260 00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:52,216 Granddad, just let it die. 261 00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:53,418 I promise you, 262 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:54,985 nobody's gonna call you a punk. 263 00:10:54,986 --> 00:10:55,986 I will. 264 00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:58,457 Well, Riley will. 265 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:00,992 Granddad. 266 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,496 I can't believe Granddad went back to fight that man. 267 00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:40,098 Yo! 268 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,967 Check this out, Huey. 269 00:11:46,438 --> 00:11:48,071 All right, all right. 270 00:11:48,072 --> 00:11:49,940 Wait. Wait, wait. 271 00:11:49,941 --> 00:11:52,109 Watch. Watch, watch. W-watch this. 272 00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,678 Here it comes. Here it comes. Oh! 273 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:55,813 Eat this right here! 274 00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:57,047 That song's shit. 275 00:12:01,186 --> 00:12:03,288 Hey, you ever notice 276 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,822 whenever someone throws a chair, 277 00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:06,924 a brawl jumps off? 278 00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:08,928 Aren't you worried about Granddad? 279 00:12:10,929 --> 00:12:12,797 Look, you wanna see it again? 280 00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,932 Hey, look. Look. L-look, look, see? 281 00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:16,133 I think you don't even have 282 00:12:16,134 --> 00:12:18,569 to hit nobody with a chair. 283 00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:21,272 And niggas will still start wilin' out. 284 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:30,014 Well, you don't look hurt. 285 00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:31,516 Two weeks. 286 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,485 Good for you. A rematch in two weeks. 287 00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:36,020 This'll be great. 288 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:38,790 Hey, we might be able to make some money off this. 289 00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:41,293 "The Slugfest in Woodcrest. " Yeah. 290 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,199 You don't understand, boy. I have to do this. 291 00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,436 Follow me. 292 00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:55,407 I want you to see what you're up against. 293 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,669 Holy shit. 294 00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:28,039 You remember the way he dodged your punch? 295 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,374 Your enemy is the Zatoichi. 296 00:13:30,375 --> 00:13:32,210 The Blind Swordsman. 297 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,811 His ears give him more information 298 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,512 than all your senses put together. 299 00:13:35,513 --> 00:13:39,250 If you underestimate him, he will kill you. 300 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,088 Ah! 301 00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:46,490 You must train. 302 00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:47,926 I won't fail you. 303 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,394 I'm not afraid. 304 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,329 Oh, you will be. 305 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,397 You will be. 306 00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:57,568 And a one, two... 307 00:13:57,569 --> 00:13:59,303 And a three... Wa-ta! 308 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,882 Ah. Between me and you, 309 00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:13,283 your granddad shouldn't be too worried. 310 00:14:13,284 --> 00:14:15,519 Everybody knows niggas can't fight. 311 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,687 I'm sorry? 312 00:14:16,688 --> 00:14:19,624 You heard me, nigga. Niggas can't fight. 313 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:21,959 They don't possess the strength of character 314 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,662 or the mental quickness to be a great fighter. 315 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:27,298 That's why all the best fighters in the world 316 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,734 have always been white men. 317 00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:30,935 Jack Dempsey, 318 00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,604 Rocky Marciano, 319 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,037 "Slyvester" Stallone. 320 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,307 And don't forget Ralph Macchio. 321 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:39,343 You name me one great black heavyweight fighter. 322 00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:41,112 Name one. Go ahead. Try and name one. 323 00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:42,247 See that? You can't do it. 324 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,381 What? What, what, what? 325 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:45,816 Oh, oh, oh. You wanna pull Ali out your ass? 326 00:14:45,817 --> 00:14:47,217 That what you thinking about? 327 00:14:47,218 --> 00:14:48,386 Muhammad Ali? 328 00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:49,787 Well, if that nigga's so tough, 329 00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:52,223 then why he didn't go to Vietnam? 330 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,524 I'll tell you why. 331 00:14:53,525 --> 00:14:55,326 'Cause he was scared. That's why. 332 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:58,929 Shoot. "No Vietnamese ever called me nigga. " 333 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,864 I call him a nigga eight times 334 00:15:00,865 --> 00:15:02,634 before I have breakfast. 335 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,803 Now, what he gonna do? Hold on, I'll make it nine. 336 00:15:05,937 --> 00:15:07,571 Nigga! 337 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,982 I don't understand why I'm blindfolded. 338 00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,018 Because the enemy cannot see. 339 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,119 But, see, the thing is, 340 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,955 I don't have super hearing, so I don't get why I'm... 341 00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:26,658 Fight! 342 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,259 Ow! 343 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,460 Stop! 344 00:15:30,962 --> 00:15:32,496 Jean-Claude Van Damme 345 00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,398 is the best martial artist in the world. 346 00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:36,767 He killed a man with his butt cheek power. 347 00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:39,303 Steven Seagal, David Carradine, 348 00:15:39,304 --> 00:15:40,338 Chuck Norris. 349 00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,339 Shoot. Walker, Texas Ranger? 350 00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:44,241 Now, that's a karate man right there. 351 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:50,614 Word got out that my granddad was training for a rematch, 352 00:15:50,615 --> 00:15:52,917 and it quickly became the talk of the town. 353 00:15:57,222 --> 00:15:58,722 What was that? 354 00:15:58,723 --> 00:15:59,858 An exhibition? 355 00:16:01,092 --> 00:16:03,762 You need emotional content. 356 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,797 Now, try again. 357 00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:08,801 Oooooh-ah-da! 358 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,540 Damn! That hurt. 359 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,607 Damn it, boy! 360 00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:17,641 Hoo. Haa. 361 00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:18,976 Ooh. 362 00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:22,313 Everybody knows niggas climb trees, not kick 'em. 363 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,317 Riley had the brilliant idea 364 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:29,353 to take advance orders for the DVD release of the fight, 365 00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:31,655 and take a little action on the side. 366 00:16:31,656 --> 00:16:32,957 Ugh! Pain. 367 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:40,330 He hired a street team to create the necessary hype. 368 00:17:01,819 --> 00:17:04,789 The fight had a huge turnout. 369 00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,023 Come on... 370 00:17:06,024 --> 00:17:09,293 Seems like watching niggas act stupid 371 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:12,229 was becoming America's favorite pastime. 372 00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:13,697 Hey, listen up! 373 00:17:13,698 --> 00:17:16,133 I'm gonna tell y'all one more time. 374 00:17:16,134 --> 00:17:20,303 This fight ain't startin' till I get $10 from all y'all. 375 00:17:20,304 --> 00:17:23,574 Hey. You. Nah, nigga, I didn't get yours yet. 376 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,108 Give me that. 377 00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:27,544 That's the difference between private Nigga Moments 378 00:17:27,545 --> 00:17:29,113 and public Nigga Moments. 379 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:30,848 A private Nigga Moment shames you. 380 00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:34,451 A public Nigga Moment shames the whole race. 381 00:17:34,452 --> 00:17:37,021 Ooh, this is it. 382 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,490 I'm gonna kick some ass now. 383 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:43,127 Granddad, the only way to win is not to fight. 384 00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,561 That's right, Robert. 385 00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:47,365 Nobody's gonna call you a fruity boy 386 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,634 or a pansy pants if you don't do this. 387 00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:51,869 I will. 388 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:54,138 Right. Well, Riley will. 389 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,308 I mean, everybody's real focused so far. 390 00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:58,609 Here we go. 391 00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:01,712 You scared? 392 00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:04,782 Yeah. You scared, ain't ya, bitch nigga? 393 00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:06,617 I can smell the bitch in ya. 394 00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,654 Hm, hm, mm... 395 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,489 Ooh, that's vintage bitch. 396 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,958 You must have Alzheimer's, old man. 397 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,926 You already forgot that ass-whupping? 398 00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:17,594 Uh-oh. Huh-huh. 399 00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:19,363 Oh, I hear ya coming. 400 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:22,867 And as I watched Stinkmeaner move blindly around the ring, 401 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,436 I had a terrifying realization. 402 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,471 He wasn't a trained swordsman, 403 00:18:27,472 --> 00:18:30,041 and he didn't have super hearing. 404 00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:33,510 He was a blind, old man who had just gotten lucky. 405 00:18:33,511 --> 00:18:37,382 Granddad! Wait! No, stop! 406 00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:45,456 Come on, Granddad. 407 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:03,807 I'm gonna keep comin' anyway! 408 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,078 Damn! Kick him in the nut. 409 00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:15,520 You know, we could all be reading a book right now. 410 00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,997 He got what he deserved, man. 411 00:19:26,998 --> 00:19:28,098 Come on, now. 412 00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:29,867 Wait a minute. 413 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:32,470 Oh. Oh, my goodness. 414 00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,171 I can't believe it. 415 00:19:34,172 --> 00:19:35,772 Dang, Granddad! 416 00:19:35,773 --> 00:19:37,541 You didn't have to kill him. 417 00:19:37,542 --> 00:19:39,677 And so, Granddad emerged 418 00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,112 from the Nigga Moment victorious. 419 00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:43,813 Congratulations, Robert. 420 00:19:43,814 --> 00:19:46,583 I told you a nigga that black couldn't fight. 421 00:19:46,584 --> 00:19:48,252 Whew! Good goin'. 422 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,921 Hey, that wasn't worth it, man. 423 00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:51,923 I had my fingers crossed. 424 00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:52,957 I want my money. 425 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,224 You owe me money, man. 426 00:19:54,225 --> 00:19:55,693 Gimme my money back! 427 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,262 I want my money now. 428 00:19:58,263 --> 00:19:59,730 Gimme my damn money, kid. 429 00:20:05,403 --> 00:20:06,570 Oh, my God, a chair! 430 00:20:06,571 --> 00:20:07,939 Hey, what does he think-? 431 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,344 I'm mad, man! 432 00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:18,682 Necklace. 433 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:22,319 As he contemplated spending the remainder 434 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,187 of his natural life in prison, 435 00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:26,356 Granddad never stopped to realize 436 00:20:26,357 --> 00:20:28,993 that he had gotten the respect he so desperately wanted. 437 00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:32,429 Yo, that mug killed a blind, old man with his bare hands. 438 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,832 Now, that's gangsta. 439 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:37,636 Robert Jebediah Freeman? 440 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,138 Tom and I had gotten the fight licensed 441 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:44,642 by the state boxing commission at the last minute, 442 00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:47,911 legally indemnifying Granddad against Stinkmeaner's death. 443 00:20:47,912 --> 00:20:51,415 But he was still pretty shook up by the whole thing. 444 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:55,118 Colonel Stinkmeaner had no family and no friends. 445 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:58,422 He lived a life without love or companionship, 446 00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,656 or even pets. 447 00:20:59,657 --> 00:21:02,426 He was a horrible, awful human being. 448 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,262 And in truth, the world was better off with him dead. 449 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:07,298 Still, he was our brother. 450 00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:10,034 Lord, please forgive us for taking this man's life. 451 00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:12,136 Why you say "us"? You killed him... 452 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,371 Shut your ass and pray, boy.