1 00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:04,937 ? I am the stone The builder refused ? 2 00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,404 ? I am the visual The inspiration ? 3 00:00:06,405 --> 00:00:07,872 ? That made lady Sing the blues ? 4 00:00:07,873 --> 00:00:09,774 ? I'm the spark That makes your idea bright ? 5 00:00:09,775 --> 00:00:11,376 ? The same spark That lights the dark ? 6 00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,378 ? So that you can know Your left from your right ? 7 00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:15,414 ? I am the ballot in your box The bullet in the gun ? 8 00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:16,948 ? The inner glow That lets you know ? 9 00:00:16,949 --> 00:00:18,050 ? To call your brother sun ? 10 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,351 ? The story that just begun ? 11 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,752 ? The promise Of what's to come ? 12 00:00:20,753 --> 00:00:21,919 ? And I'm a remain a soldier ? 13 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,855 ? Till the war is won ? 14 00:00:23,856 --> 00:00:26,491 ? Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ? 15 00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:29,161 ? Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ? 16 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,796 ? Chop, chop, chop Judo flip ? 17 00:00:31,797 --> 00:00:32,965 ? Chop, chop, chop ? 18 00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,634 My grandfather, 19 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,268 Robert Jebediah Freeman, 20 00:00:37,269 --> 00:00:40,906 after a lifetime of odd adventures and strange mishaps, 21 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:42,841 decided to spend his last days 22 00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,976 in the warm embrace of suburbia. 23 00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:47,179 So he moved to his perfect house 24 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,880 in his perfect neighborhood. 25 00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:51,916 But he was still searching for his perfect woman. 26 00:00:51,917 --> 00:00:55,488 For what reason, I have no idea. 27 00:00:57,823 --> 00:01:00,826 I want candy! 28 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:02,427 Damn it, I hate you! 29 00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:04,896 You're ruining my life, bitch! Please, Herbert, 30 00:01:04,897 --> 00:01:06,965 remember our agreement. Candy! I want candy! 31 00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,733 Give me candy! 32 00:01:08,734 --> 00:01:12,637 Give me candy! I want candy! 33 00:01:12,638 --> 00:01:15,473 I want candy and marshmallows! 34 00:01:15,474 --> 00:01:17,375 Give it to me! 35 00:01:17,376 --> 00:01:18,843 Give it to me! Herbert- Oh! 36 00:01:18,844 --> 00:01:19,877 And I want pasta! 37 00:01:19,878 --> 00:01:22,747 Hm, he sure looks like a handful. 38 00:01:22,748 --> 00:01:23,849 When he gets like this, 39 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,284 I just don't know how to make him stop. 40 00:01:26,285 --> 00:01:27,686 I want candy and marshmallows! 41 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,354 Have you ever tried beatin' his ass? 42 00:01:32,858 --> 00:01:34,293 What's with the belt? 43 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:43,201 The nerve of you... 44 00:01:43,202 --> 00:01:44,436 In front of these people... 45 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:47,004 You must have lost your goddamn mind! 46 00:01:47,005 --> 00:01:49,041 Mom, stop! 47 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,978 Not many men would stop to help a woman in need. 48 00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,550 Well, uh- 49 00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,553 I guess I just hate to see a child go unbeaten. 50 00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:05,224 I'm Cristal, like the champagne. 51 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,692 I'm Granddad. 52 00:02:08,661 --> 00:02:10,662 Hello, cutie. 53 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:13,232 Yeah... 54 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,700 I'd rather not. 55 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,870 My name's Cristal, like the champagne. 56 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,405 Well, that sounds like a stripper name. 57 00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:23,242 Cristal, like the champagne, might you be a stripper? 58 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:27,246 And just what do you know about strippers, little man? 59 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:30,682 Not much, but I do know they're usually named after liquor. 60 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,589 I just love grocery stores in rich neighborhoods. 61 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,425 Much better stuff. 62 00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:45,731 Check out this special French whipped cream. 63 00:02:46,899 --> 00:02:48,333 Mm. 64 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,668 Mm. Mm. 65 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,738 Mm-hm. Mm. 66 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,072 It's edible. 67 00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,941 Whipped cream, teddy bear... 68 00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,579 Mm, mm, mm. 69 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,082 Somebody's busy. 70 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,785 One hundred fifty-three dollars and 12 cents is your total. 71 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:08,320 Will this be cash or charge? 72 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,026 You're such a gentleman. 73 00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:17,129 You didn't have to carry all my bags. 74 00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:21,600 It's my pleasure, Cristal, like the champagne. 75 00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,969 Well, see you around. 76 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,343 I don't... 77 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,114 I mean, I don't know if... 78 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,083 Would you like a date? 79 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:41,453 It just so happen I have coupons for the Red Lobster, cutie pie. 80 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:45,858 Um... okay. 81 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,733 You do realize that light-skinned ho was a ho, 82 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,167 right, Granddad? 83 00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,002 Don't cuss, boy. Now, watch your mouth. 84 00:03:58,003 --> 00:03:59,471 I didn't cuss. I said ho. 85 00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:01,840 Don't think because I'm driving, I can't come back there. 86 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,642 I don't see what the big deal is, 87 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,777 just sayin' "ho. " 88 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,479 Ow! You smackin' me! Granddad, stop. 89 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,914 Didn't I tell you to watch your mouth? 90 00:04:09,915 --> 00:04:11,149 Granddad! 91 00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:14,653 Riley, stop, or we are going to die! 92 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:21,960 Now, I bet you won't say it again. 93 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:24,363 Ho. 94 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,130 Oh, I got your ho! Watch the road. 95 00:04:26,131 --> 00:04:27,767 Watch the road, Granddad! 96 00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,303 Granddad, have you asked yourself 97 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,137 why a 20-year-old girl would want to go out 98 00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,373 with a man your age? 99 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:37,542 Because I laid my game down quite flat. 100 00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:38,777 Game? 101 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,912 What you know about the game, Granddad? 102 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:42,080 I know the game. 103 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:43,415 Takin' women out to eat? 104 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,883 Givin' 'em free meals? What part of the game is that? 105 00:04:45,884 --> 00:04:49,388 You takin' her to Red Lobster with the cheddar biscuits. 106 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,222 The fam ain't eatin' cheddar biscuits, 107 00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:54,058 but this random broad is eatin' cheddar biscuits. 108 00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:56,828 I know the game. Your granddaddy knows the game. 109 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,330 Game recognize game, Granddad. 110 00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:03,267 I recognize game. Your granddaddy recognize game. 111 00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:04,902 Game recognize game, 112 00:05:04,903 --> 00:05:08,140 and you lookin' kinda unfamiliar right now. 113 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,544 I- I can't- Where's Granddad? Can I help you, sir? 114 00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:16,648 I ain't got time to mess around with y'all. 115 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,283 I got a date. Get out the way. 116 00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:22,019 Don't do it, Granddad! 117 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,454 Don't feed her! 118 00:05:23,455 --> 00:05:24,756 Come on, now, stop. 119 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,725 Get off my leg. Don't feed her. 120 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,594 Don't try to pull me back. The cheddar biscuits! 121 00:05:29,595 --> 00:05:32,064 What the hell? Get off me, boy. What's wrong with you? 122 00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:34,965 Mm. 123 00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:36,635 Oh, God. 124 00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:39,370 Mm, mm. 125 00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:42,874 These cheddar biscuits are so good, 126 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,609 they just melt in your mouth. 127 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,278 Thank you for the meal. 128 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:48,046 It was very romantic, 129 00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:50,449 like Sex and the City or somethin'. 130 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,885 Wow. I have never seen a woman eat like that. 131 00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:54,953 Or a man, actually. 132 00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,090 You should bring some home for the boys. 133 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,459 I don't know. If you feed 'em, they'll never leave. 134 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,394 Oh, stop. They're so cute. 135 00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:05,463 You must love having them around. 136 00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:07,799 Well, not really, but... 137 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:11,236 You should let me baby-sit sometimes. 138 00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:13,938 Doggy bag? 139 00:06:13,939 --> 00:06:16,574 A doggy bag is 90 bucks, a tea bag is 50, 140 00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:18,477 but I'll have to ask you to excuse me right now. 141 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:21,647 See, I'm kind of, you know, on a real date. 142 00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,852 You know, now that I think about it, 143 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,454 I don't ever remember seein' Granddad with a woman. 144 00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,022 There was a time, when I was three, 145 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:32,156 when I thought he was gay, 146 00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:34,292 but now, I think it's just bad luck. 147 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,995 Well, I don't see what the big deal is with ho's, anyway. 148 00:06:37,996 --> 00:06:41,366 Riley, all women are not ho's. 149 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,135 We're talkin' 20, 25 percent, tops. 150 00:06:44,136 --> 00:06:46,304 Okay, but if they not all ho's, 151 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:49,574 then why I got to pay to take 'em out to eat, then? 152 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,310 I mean, I'm payin'. That's payment. 153 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:55,446 Uh, I don't know. 'Cause that's just what you do. 154 00:06:55,447 --> 00:06:57,549 You meet a girl, you take her out to dinner, 155 00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:00,117 but you're not payin' the girl. 156 00:07:00,118 --> 00:07:02,153 You're payin' the restaurant. 157 00:07:02,154 --> 00:07:05,323 But I'm payin', which makes her a ho. 158 00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:06,991 Why don't I just give her the money. 159 00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,527 I was gonna spend on dinner 160 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,963 and that ho can go grocery shoppin'. 161 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,666 And what do you do again? 162 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,303 I'm in, uh- Sales. 163 00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,206 You could call it sales. 164 00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,375 I don't really like to talk about work. 165 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,544 I'm not really fulfilled at my job. 166 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,745 Why not? 167 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,146 Well, the hours are pretty long, 168 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,615 the boss is a real jerk, and the clients... 169 00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,717 Ugh, don't get me started on the clients. 170 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,785 Oh, damn. So why do you do it? 171 00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:37,187 Mm, basically I'm in a transitional period. 172 00:07:37,188 --> 00:07:39,056 Like last year, 173 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:40,725 people said I should be a model, 174 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:42,660 but you gotta go get the pictures taken 175 00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:43,928 and do that whole thing. 176 00:07:43,929 --> 00:07:45,263 Seemed like a lot of work. 177 00:07:45,264 --> 00:07:47,065 Yeah, taking pictures can be tough. 178 00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,933 And then I wanted to be a chef, 179 00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:51,570 but can you believe they want you to go to school for that? 180 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:53,938 I wish I could find a man, 181 00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:56,875 who could swoop in like a superhero, 182 00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:01,112 and save me from, you know, work. 183 00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:04,048 Kind of like a Captain Save-A-Me. 184 00:08:04,049 --> 00:08:06,784 Do you know where I can buy a cape? 185 00:08:06,785 --> 00:08:07,885 Ooh. Damn. 186 00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:09,722 Whoa. Wow. 187 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,457 That's how it starts, you know. 188 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,493 Takin' bitches out to eat, 189 00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,561 meals and whatnot. 190 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,996 Next thing you know, 191 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,164 you wake up in a rest haven for ho's. 192 00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:23,634 A sanctuary for scandalous skeezers and stunts. 193 00:08:23,635 --> 00:08:26,036 You're jumpin' to conclusions. It's just a date. 194 00:08:26,037 --> 00:08:27,571 What if he marries her? 195 00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:30,341 What if we end up with a ho for a grandma? 196 00:08:30,342 --> 00:08:32,043 Riley, shut your dumb ass up. 197 00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,878 What if we have a ho for a grandma, 198 00:08:33,879 --> 00:08:35,880 and she comes to school on career day? 199 00:08:35,881 --> 00:08:38,316 Ooh, what if they have kids? 200 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:40,752 We'd have a brother or sister that's half ho. 201 00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,287 Riley! 202 00:08:44,756 --> 00:08:47,892 This is your home? It's beautiful. 203 00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:49,928 Hey, boys. 204 00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:53,664 I love this place. I never want to leave. 205 00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,400 Is there anything to eat? 206 00:08:58,103 --> 00:09:00,137 I didn't want to believe Riley. 207 00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:03,608 I wanted Granddad to have finally found love in his life. 208 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,377 But I've never been one to ignore the obvious. 209 00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:09,313 Granddad was tryin' to turn a ho into a housewife. 210 00:09:09,314 --> 00:09:10,581 Come on, Granddad. 211 00:09:10,582 --> 00:09:12,082 What you talkin' about? 212 00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,652 Hey, you just wait a minute. Uh-huh. 213 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,190 ? She did me wrong ? 214 00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,858 ? Now, I ain't sayin' She a gold digger ? 215 00:09:20,859 --> 00:09:22,359 ? When I'm in need ? 216 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,261 ? But she ain't messin' With no broke niggaz ? 217 00:09:24,262 --> 00:09:25,797 ? She did me wrong ? 218 00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,465 ? Now, I ain't sayin' She a gold digger ? 219 00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:29,333 ? But she ain't messin' With no broke niggaz ? 220 00:09:29,334 --> 00:09:30,702 ? When I'm in need ? 221 00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,170 ? Get down, girl Go ahead, get down ? 222 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:35,206 ? Get down, girl Go ahead, get down ? 223 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,075 ? Get down, girl Go ahead, get down ? 224 00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,111 ? Get down, girl Go ahead ? 225 00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,746 ? Cutie the bomb Met her at a beauty salon ? 226 00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:45,216 ? With a baby Louis Vuitton Under her underarm ? 227 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:46,884 ? She said I can tell you rock ? 228 00:09:46,885 --> 00:09:49,687 ? I can tell by your charm Far as girls you got a flock ? 229 00:09:49,688 --> 00:09:51,656 ? I can tell by your charm And your arm ? 230 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:53,724 ? But I'm looking for the one Have you seen her? ? 231 00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:56,794 ? My psychic told me She have a ass like Serena ? 232 00:09:56,795 --> 00:09:59,130 ? Trina, Jennifer Lopez Four kids ? 233 00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:02,166 ? And I gotta take all They badass to showbiz ? 234 00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:04,869 ? Okay, get your kids but Then they got they friends ? 235 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,105 ? I pulled up in the Benz They all got up in ? 236 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:10,174 ? We all went to Den And then I had to pay ? 237 00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,843 ? If you f@#$% with this girl Then you better be paid ? 238 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,015 What's up now? 239 00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:18,616 Why you keep doin' the same move? 240 00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,952 Where your game at? Where your game at? 241 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,454 My X button ain't working. 242 00:10:23,455 --> 00:10:24,522 Whatever, nigga. 243 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:27,025 Hey, look, I'm pressin' it. 244 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,061 You see me pressin' it. You cheatin'. 245 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,963 Bitch, your game is garbage. 246 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,499 I'm Cristal, bitch. Who's next? 247 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,635 Fake-ass Mariah Carey! 248 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:42,207 That's how nasty my game is, son. 249 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,609 I send niggas runnin' away. 250 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,610 What? 251 00:10:47,846 --> 00:10:49,413 Ah. 252 00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:51,916 A full day's supply of vitamin C. 253 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,233 Granddad, that woman has got to go. 254 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:12,903 Miss Cristal is my beautiful baby-boo, 255 00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:15,240 and you will show her some respect. 256 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:18,542 Granddad, we don't know anything about Miss Cristal. 257 00:11:18,543 --> 00:11:20,945 I mean, we know she spends all your money. 258 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:22,880 We know she eats more than a black hole. 259 00:11:22,881 --> 00:11:26,050 We know she cheat at PlayStation! 260 00:11:26,051 --> 00:11:28,920 But where does she live? What does she do for a living? 261 00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:30,387 She's in sales. 262 00:11:30,388 --> 00:11:31,589 Pfft. Ho sales. 263 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,590 What? 264 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,692 Granddad, does she duck under the table 265 00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:36,529 every time a dude in a purple suit walks in? 266 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,072 Uh, a lot of people do that. 267 00:11:48,073 --> 00:11:52,310 Can she run really, really, really fast in high heels? 268 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:55,813 I don't know. Average speed, I guess. 269 00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:57,782 Race you to the car. 270 00:11:57,783 --> 00:11:59,717 Okay. 271 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,155 Hm. 272 00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:08,660 Maybe, uh... Little... above average. 273 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,462 Does she keep askin' if you're a cop? 274 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,662 No. 275 00:12:11,663 --> 00:12:13,565 You know, you have to tell me if you're a cop, 276 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,566 or it's entrapment. 277 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,800 Mm. 278 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,003 My cute boys. 279 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:23,474 You boys don't know Cristal like I do. 280 00:12:23,475 --> 00:12:25,042 She's a wonderful woman. 281 00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:27,645 She's in my heart. She's in my soul. 282 00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,780 I just want to be her everything. 283 00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:32,382 And for your information, children, 284 00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:34,986 I had relations with Cristal last night. 285 00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:37,688 Ew, come on, Granddad! Oh, God, please! 286 00:12:37,689 --> 00:12:39,456 Why would you share that? That's nasty. 287 00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,659 How am I supposed to have nice dreams tonight, man? 288 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,427 And she didn't charge me a dime. 289 00:12:43,428 --> 00:12:44,661 Mm. 290 00:12:44,662 --> 00:12:46,097 You ready to go shoppin' again? 291 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,132 You betcha. 292 00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,151 Hey, Huey. 293 00:13:07,152 --> 00:13:09,988 Okay, Cristal, I think we need to talk. 294 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:13,724 Before you start, 295 00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:15,627 I just want to tell you how much fun it's been 296 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,861 hangin' out with you guys. 297 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,930 Think of me as the big sister you always wanted. 298 00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:22,933 Don't take this the wrong way, but... 299 00:13:22,934 --> 00:13:24,736 I need you to get the hell up outta here. 300 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,671 Any particular reason? 301 00:13:26,672 --> 00:13:28,540 You're kind of a lazy ho? 302 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,607 Yeah, I can see that. 303 00:13:30,608 --> 00:13:33,211 I don't know why my granddad can't see it. 304 00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:36,948 To be honest, me either. It's so obvious. 305 00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,049 But it's okay because, see, 306 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,584 I'm in this transitional period... 307 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,254 Ah, ah, ah, I don't care. You gotta go. 308 00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:50,395 I can't do that. 309 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,562 I'm sorry? 310 00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:53,264 You guys have the life. 311 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,066 And I want the life too. 312 00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:58,536 Yeah, but it's our life. We're his family. 313 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:01,906 Oh, so now, we get to what this is really about. 314 00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:05,109 I'm not one of y'all. I'm not in the family. 315 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,579 I don't carry his genes, so I have to go? 316 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:11,015 Uh, yeah. Plus, you're a lazy ho. 317 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,085 Ugh, ho is a strong term. 318 00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:18,355 Right now, I'm somewhere between anatomical sales associate 319 00:14:18,356 --> 00:14:19,924 and high-maintenance girlfriend. 320 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,859 Can't you be positive about my growth? 321 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:25,530 Cristal, every part of you bein' here is unacceptable. 322 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,232 Do you realize I'm doin' prostitute laundry? 323 00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,503 Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? 324 00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:36,241 Look, this is an adjustment for everyone, 325 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,041 but it's what your grandfather wants. 326 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:39,477 You can't get rid of me. 327 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:42,914 I can do things to persuade your granddad that you can't do. 328 00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,548 Like what? 329 00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:46,518 Never mind, I don't really wanna know. 330 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,391 Bye, Granddaddy. 331 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:54,892 I'll be back in a few. 332 00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,327 Cristal was right. 333 00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,563 I was going about this the wrong way. 334 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,131 Granddad needed to see the truth for himself. 335 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:04,768 ? I know she no good But she good to me ? 336 00:15:04,769 --> 00:15:07,138 ? All right, we on a mission With SpyCam vision ? 337 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,839 ? Yeah, it's wrong But I'd rather ? 338 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,374 ? Beg forgiveness Than permission ? 339 00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,877 ? Something is off Who's this mystery lady? ? 340 00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,645 ? She's crazy And something in her eyes ? 341 00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:17,982 ? Looks shady But maybe after this exposé ? 342 00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,018 ? A blind man could see her Comin' from a mile away ? 343 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,154 ? Let me catch her in the act See where her head is at ? 344 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,323 ? Before the next sucker For love falls in her trap ? 345 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,892 ? So I'm wearin' my Nike's With a Nikon ? 346 00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:31,062 ? Doin' some twilight Recon and econ ? 347 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:34,866 ? Can't stop the paparazzi Oh, my God, with these Kodaks ? 348 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,168 ? Tryin' to stop her From gettin' the bozak ? 349 00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,270 ? From gettin' the bozak From gettin' the bozak ? 350 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,672 ? I know she no good But she good to me ? 351 00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:44,041 ? I know she no good But she good to me ? 352 00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:46,610 ? I know she no good But she good to me ? 353 00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:48,779 ? I know she no good But she good to me ? 354 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,215 ? Click ? 355 00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:16,574 Cutie pie, what is this? 356 00:16:17,975 --> 00:16:19,643 That's not me. 357 00:16:19,644 --> 00:16:23,615 I can't believe you would digitally alter pictures of me. 358 00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:26,417 Boy, that ain't nothin' but Photoshop. 359 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,252 Get that outta here. 360 00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:33,224 Why don't they like me? 361 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:34,926 I try... 362 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:38,295 so hard with them. 363 00:16:38,296 --> 00:16:41,999 Aw, there, there. 364 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,735 Haven't I done enough for you two? 365 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,337 Y'all don't know what it's like to be old. 366 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,872 To know you don't have many days left. 367 00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:50,908 Cristal makes me happy. 368 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:53,478 Why would you want to take that away from me? 369 00:16:58,383 --> 00:16:59,917 It's a nigga in a purple suit. 370 00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,424 Who are you? 371 00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:11,962 My name is A Pimp Named Slickback, 372 00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:14,899 and I believe I may have misplaced some merchandise 373 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,434 at this residence. 374 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,603 There she is. 375 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,370 Bitch, I hope you got the monies 376 00:17:20,371 --> 00:17:23,307 to cover this little vacation you been takin'. 377 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:24,808 Now, hold up, Slickback. 378 00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:27,478 No, that's A Pimp Named Slickback. 379 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,246 That's what I said: Slickback. 380 00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:32,483 No, no, it's A Pimp Named Slickback. 381 00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:33,985 Like A Tribe Called Quest. 382 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,653 You say the whole thing. A Pimp Named Slickback. 383 00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:39,156 Uh, can we call you "Slickback" for short? 384 00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:42,560 No, nigga. I'm A Pimp Named Slickback! 385 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,961 Cristal, who is this person? 386 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:46,063 Nigga, are you deaf? 387 00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:50,601 I'm A Pimp Named Slickback. Say it with me, now. 388 00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,069 He's my pimp. 389 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,272 Y-y-y-your pimp? 390 00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:55,772 So you really are a- A... 391 00:17:55,773 --> 00:17:57,642 Yes, I'm a ho. Yes, she's a ho. 392 00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:59,876 Come on, bitch. Now. 393 00:17:59,877 --> 00:18:03,080 A Pimp Named Slickback, could I please have a minute? 394 00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:05,048 A minute? 395 00:18:05,049 --> 00:18:07,618 Let us pray "The Pimp's Prayer. " 396 00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:10,621 Lord, please pray for the soul of this bitch, 397 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:14,525 and guide my pimp hand and make it strong, Lord, 398 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:18,830 so that she might learn a ho's place. Amen. 399 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,698 Amen. Yeah! 400 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,475 You ain't gonna hit no woman in my house. 401 00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:35,046 What woman, sir? This here's a ho. 402 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,014 Not in this house, she's not. 403 00:18:39,217 --> 00:18:41,720 Why don't you just wait outside. 404 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,290 Damn, Indiana Jenkins. 405 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,191 I didn't know we was still whoopin' niggas. 406 00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:49,526 Fine. 407 00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:52,529 Bitch, you got 45 seconds, and I'm leavin'. 408 00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:55,867 Forty-four, 43, 409 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,935 42... 410 00:18:57,936 --> 00:18:59,636 I'm sorry I didn't tell you. 411 00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:01,639 I mean, at first, I thought you knew. 412 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,140 How would I? 413 00:19:03,141 --> 00:19:05,976 I mean, I don't see how you couldn't have known. 414 00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:07,911 Well, easy mistake, I guess. 415 00:19:07,912 --> 00:19:09,847 I mean, there were so many obvious signs... 416 00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:11,749 All right, all right, I got the point. 417 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,318 Cristal, I don't care what you've done in the past, 418 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,921 as long as you're ready to start fresh. 419 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,722 Think about it. Forty-four... 420 00:19:18,723 --> 00:19:20,491 You can stay here, 421 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,294 maybe get a job, go back to school. 422 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:24,528 We can make it work. 423 00:19:24,529 --> 00:19:26,564 I don't know, Robert. 424 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:29,767 I'm not really cut out for school and jobs. 425 00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:33,704 But you'll be able to stay here with us. 426 00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:36,941 Yeah, you're right. That sounds nice. 427 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,244 Let me just go and get rid of A Pimp Named Slickback, 428 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,280 then maybe I'll get some applications. 429 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:47,485 Eleven, 10, nine... 430 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,788 You're coming back, right? 431 00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,722 Of course. 432 00:19:52,723 --> 00:19:55,459 Time's up, bitch. I am leavin'. 433 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,495 Thanks for trying to save me. 434 00:20:04,302 --> 00:20:06,003 No, Daddy! Wait, wait! 435 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:10,141 Wait, wait. 436 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,311 She'll be back. 437 00:20:18,082 --> 00:20:19,517 I guess, deep down, 438 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,085 all grownups want to find that perfect person 439 00:20:22,086 --> 00:20:24,388 that'll guarantee that they'll never be lonely again. 440 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:28,226 I still believe Granddad'll find his someday. 441 00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:37,001 Did she come back? 442 00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,303 Don't blow out the candle. She'll think nobody's home. 443 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,839 It's all right, Granddad. 444 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,707 Maybe she'll be back tomorrow. 445 00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:48,946 One thing I learned though... 446 00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,614 Come back! 447 00:20:50,615 --> 00:20:52,149 Wait! 448 00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,488 Run, bitch, run! 449 00:20:58,489 --> 00:21:00,958 She sure can run in those heels. 450 00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,293 I can't go to school! 451 00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:05,863 I can't get no real job! 452 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,402 Feel the burn.