1 00:00:01,597 --> 00:00:03,777 In the celebrity criminal justice system, 2 00:00:03,901 --> 00:00:06,681 there are the so-called "musicians" who commit crimes 3 00:00:06,805 --> 00:00:10,219 and the overpaid private defense attorneys who defend them. 4 00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:12,176 This is one of their stories. 5 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:14,500 Just finished up with the clerk. 6 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:15,510 He's shook up but okay. 7 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:19,063 Said the guy just flipped out, started dancing like Michael Jackson, 8 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,832 then showed a gun and robbed the place. 9 00:00:20,856 --> 00:00:23,937 Perp was a black male, around 19, really sexy... 10 00:00:24,062 --> 00:00:24,881 Sexy? 11 00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:25,872 Exactly how sexy? 12 00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:27,306 Dimples, "honey brown" complexion, 13 00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:30,298 chiseled abs, extra shiny chap-sticked lips... 14 00:00:30,345 --> 00:00:31,546 Damn, that is sexy. 15 00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:35,818 There's only one 19-year-old black male that matches that sexy profile. 16 00:00:35,842 --> 00:00:38,020 - Pretty boy Flizzy. - Never heard of him. 17 00:00:38,244 --> 00:00:40,657 Um, only the hottest up-and-coming R&B star! 18 00:00:40,681 --> 00:00:43,061 You've heard of his songs, "Titty telethon"? 19 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:44,195 "Pleasure me orally"? 20 00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:45,396 "Don't touch my anus, girl"? 21 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:49,303 - How would I have heard this? - Okay, I know you've heard "you make me wanna unh!" 22 00:00:49,327 --> 00:00:50,370 All day long on the radio, 23 00:00:50,394 --> 00:00:52,639 that's all I hear, even on the white stations. 24 00:00:52,763 --> 00:00:55,397 No, I haven't heard "you make me wanna unh!" 25 00:00:55,444 --> 00:00:56,444 That's disgusting. 26 00:00:56,468 --> 00:00:59,681 Eh, it's not my thing, but it's what passes for R&B now, all right? 27 00:00:59,705 --> 00:01:01,250 What can I say? I got teenage daughters. 28 00:01:01,274 --> 00:01:03,319 They're into black guys, so this is what I got to hear. 29 00:01:03,343 --> 00:01:04,588 What happened to the good old days 30 00:01:04,712 --> 00:01:07,125 when black singers would dress in high-heel boots 31 00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:09,128 or burn hookers with crack pipes? 32 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,629 You're showing your age, my friend. 33 00:01:10,953 --> 00:01:13,900 Flizzy's in town, doing a show at Woodcrest post pavilion tonight. 34 00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:16,458 I was hoping to go. Now I have an excuse. 35 00:01:16,528 --> 00:01:18,061 ♪ You make me wanna unh 36 00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:19,230 ♪ Like we havin' sex 37 00:01:19,299 --> 00:01:20,710 ♪ Baby, grab your ankles 38 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:21,877 ♪ You know what's next 39 00:01:22,401 --> 00:01:24,280 ♪ I am the stone that the builder refused 40 00:01:24,304 --> 00:01:27,685 ♪ I am the visual, the inspiration that made lady sing the blues 41 00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,286 ♪ I'm the spark that makes your idea bright 42 00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:30,891 ♪ The same spark that lights the dark 43 00:01:30,913 --> 00:01:32,793 ♪ So that you can know your left from your right 44 00:01:32,815 --> 00:01:34,827 ♪ I am the ballot in your box, the bullet in the gun 45 00:01:34,851 --> 00:01:37,765 ♪ The inner glow that let's you know to call your brother son 46 00:01:37,789 --> 00:01:38,966 ♪ The story that just begun 47 00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:40,167 ♪ The promise of what's to come 48 00:01:40,191 --> 00:01:43,005 ♪ And I'ma remain a soldier till the war is won 49 00:01:43,529 --> 00:01:44,729 ♪ Chop, chop, chop 50 00:01:44,865 --> 00:01:46,576 ♪ Judo flip Chop, chop, chop 51 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,768 ♪ Judo flip Chop, chop, chop 52 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,970 ♪ Judo flip Chop, chop, chop ♪ 53 00:01:51,994 --> 00:01:53,894 The Boondocks S04E01 Pretty Boy Flizzy 54 00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:59,011 Granddad, what we got to eat? 55 00:01:59,082 --> 00:02:00,527 - Rent! - I'm hungry! 56 00:02:00,651 --> 00:02:02,762 Then have sleep for dinner! You can eat tomorrow. 57 00:02:02,786 --> 00:02:03,831 You're getting fat anyway! 58 00:02:04,055 --> 00:02:06,500 The security-camera footage you're watching 59 00:02:06,524 --> 00:02:09,858 is allegedly of R&B superstar Pretty Boy Flizzy 60 00:02:10,195 --> 00:02:12,796 holding up a liquor store in Woodcrest. 61 00:02:14,266 --> 00:02:17,013 While it is difficult to clearly see the suspect's face, 62 00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:19,771 authorities say his sexiness is an exact match. 63 00:02:19,808 --> 00:02:21,787 This isn't Flizzy's first run-in with the law. 64 00:02:21,811 --> 00:02:23,856 Last year, he received four months' probation 65 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,426 after beating his then-girlfriend Christianna 66 00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:27,994 live onstage during the Grammys. 67 00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:31,252 I'd just like to apologize to all my fans 68 00:02:31,490 --> 00:02:34,658 for beating my hot R&B girlfriend. 69 00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:35,838 I let my fans down. 70 00:02:36,062 --> 00:02:39,675 Without you, I wouldn't even have an R&B girlfriend to beat. 71 00:02:39,699 --> 00:02:42,345 A year before that, Flizzy received a two-year suspended 72 00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:45,884 sentence for smuggling automatic weapons from Nicaraguan rebels. 73 00:02:45,908 --> 00:02:48,553 I'd just like to apologize to all my fans 74 00:02:48,577 --> 00:02:52,411 for smuggling automatic weapons from South American death squads. 75 00:02:52,449 --> 00:02:55,717 I make no excuses, other than it was a really good deal 76 00:02:55,754 --> 00:02:57,798 and they were throwing in a lot of free ammunition. 77 00:02:57,822 --> 00:02:59,968 Six months ago, Flizzy was arrested for fighting in the. 78 00:02:59,992 --> 00:03:03,126 V.I.P. section of a nightclub with Nicki Minaj. 79 00:03:03,364 --> 00:03:06,108 I'd just like to apologize to all my fans, 80 00:03:06,132 --> 00:03:09,080 for fighting in the V.I.P. section with Nicki Minaj. 81 00:03:09,104 --> 00:03:13,052 In my defense, I thought she was a robot sent from the future to kill me. 82 00:03:13,077 --> 00:03:15,089 Woodcrest tea party chairman Uncle Ruckus 83 00:03:15,213 --> 00:03:17,792 staged a small protest at the venue today. 84 00:03:17,916 --> 00:03:21,850 Who keeps giving these high-yellow felons record contracts? 85 00:03:21,988 --> 00:03:24,201 Oh, oh, it's just a record you say! 86 00:03:24,525 --> 00:03:26,903 Well, white folks, you won't be saying that 87 00:03:26,927 --> 00:03:28,839 when the nigga that sings on that record 88 00:03:28,863 --> 00:03:33,097 comes to town and impregnates all the white women of child-rearing age! 89 00:03:33,336 --> 00:03:35,949 And that is exactly what he plans to do! 90 00:03:35,973 --> 00:03:37,751 Just think of all the government money 91 00:03:37,775 --> 00:03:41,243 and food stamps that them little mixed-race quadroon nigga 92 00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,391 children will be consuming! 93 00:03:42,715 --> 00:03:45,628 And they consume a whole lot more than regular children 94 00:03:45,652 --> 00:03:47,330 'cause they eatin' for two races! 95 00:03:47,454 --> 00:03:48,732 Others felt differently. 96 00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,701 I don't care what anyone says. 97 00:03:50,725 --> 00:03:52,770 Flizzy can whoop my ass anytime! 98 00:03:52,994 --> 00:03:54,862 Come on! Beat it up, Fleezy! 99 00:03:54,964 --> 00:03:55,964 Whoo! 100 00:03:59,668 --> 00:04:02,336 Turn that down. Now listen, listen. Shh! 101 00:04:02,773 --> 00:04:04,752 I'm tired of it! It's boring! 102 00:04:04,976 --> 00:04:08,546 - It's boring me to death! - Sarah, please calm down! 103 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,381 I said, I apologize! 104 00:04:11,528 --> 00:04:12,329 There you go again. 105 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:13,997 - You're doing it again! - Doing what? 106 00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,455 - Apologizing! - You don't want me to apologize? 107 00:04:16,468 --> 00:04:17,568 No, I don't! 108 00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:20,026 Okay, I'm sorry I'm apologizing. 109 00:04:20,296 --> 00:04:22,629 - You did it again! - Sarah, calm down! 110 00:04:22,999 --> 00:04:25,399 I'm sorry. Shit. I'm sorry! Shit. 111 00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:26,614 Jesus, I can't stop! 112 00:04:26,738 --> 00:04:29,885 Oh, I swear to god, Tom, if you apologize again, you are out of here! 113 00:04:30,109 --> 00:04:31,109 I'm... 114 00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:33,088 Mmm. Okay. 115 00:04:33,112 --> 00:04:35,224 Then just tell me what to do. 116 00:04:35,648 --> 00:04:38,195 That's the problem, Tom! I don't want to tell you what to do! 117 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,277 I want you to do what I want you 118 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,964 to do but because you want to do it! 119 00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:43,056 What? But why not just tell me? 120 00:04:43,258 --> 00:04:45,037 Because! No woman wakes up and says, 121 00:04:45,361 --> 00:04:48,642 "Gee, I hope my man does everything I tell him to today." 122 00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:49,676 You're the man, Tom! 123 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,300 Sometimes I want you to dominate! 124 00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:56,016 Take control! If I'm out of line, put me in check! 125 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,641 Sure, honey. Whatever you say. 126 00:04:58,711 --> 00:05:00,779 - Argh! Tom! - Fine! 127 00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:02,015 I hear you! 128 00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,295 From now on, I'll take control, 129 00:05:04,319 --> 00:05:05,729 and I won't apologize anymore. 130 00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:08,433 Except, wait. You wanted me to stop apologizing, 131 00:05:08,757 --> 00:05:11,638 so I'm supposed to do the opposite of that. Right? 132 00:05:12,162 --> 00:05:17,296 Yeah, so then I guess I will apologize, then... If that's all right with you. 133 00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:20,070 Sorry? 134 00:05:20,806 --> 00:05:22,140 Get out. 135 00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,242 - Now, honey, don't do... - Get out! 136 00:05:24,311 --> 00:05:25,055 Ow! 137 00:05:25,179 --> 00:05:28,080 - Aw, man, here he come! - Riley, hit the lights! 138 00:05:28,149 --> 00:05:28,794 Mmm-hmm. 139 00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:31,196 Huey, electronics! Enough is enough. 140 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:32,664 I'm tired of that henpecked simp 141 00:05:32,788 --> 00:05:34,834 coming over here every time she throws him out, 142 00:05:34,858 --> 00:05:35,702 screaming like a little bitch. 143 00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:36,971 This time, he can sleep in the yard. 144 00:05:36,995 --> 00:05:40,008 While it is difficult to clearly see the suspect's face, 145 00:05:41,867 --> 00:05:43,000 Please. 146 00:06:01,357 --> 00:06:03,558 It's toilet paper and a pop-tart. 147 00:06:06,498 --> 00:06:08,998 Hey, don't tell my granddad about this. 148 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,869 We not supposed to feed you. 149 00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:16,307 ♪ I'm guapped up, crazy doe 150 00:06:16,344 --> 00:06:20,078 ♪ I'm guapped up, crazy hoes ♪ I'm guapped up, crazy doe 151 00:06:22,084 --> 00:06:25,232 I really don't think it's prudent to record an attorney meeting. 152 00:06:25,256 --> 00:06:27,134 I'm not recording. This is a live stream. 153 00:06:27,158 --> 00:06:28,469 What's up? Y'all know who it is... 154 00:06:28,493 --> 00:06:30,805 Pretty beezy flee-yeezey-weezy, you know? 155 00:06:30,829 --> 00:06:33,475 I appreciate all the love and support y'all been sending me 156 00:06:33,499 --> 00:06:34,777 since the whole incident went down. 157 00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:36,946 Never fear. Got big lawyers on the case. 158 00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:38,281 Say what's up to Tom Dubois. 159 00:06:38,405 --> 00:06:42,006 Flizzy, I'm gonna have to ask you to turn it off, now. 160 00:06:42,545 --> 00:06:43,555 Kill the camera, B. 161 00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,790 I also think these people should leave. 162 00:06:45,914 --> 00:06:47,860 "These people?" Fuck you mean, "these people"? 163 00:06:47,884 --> 00:06:51,118 - I mean these people. - You mean my people, nigga! 164 00:06:51,132 --> 00:06:52,432 These my people. 165 00:06:52,456 --> 00:06:54,469 Anything you can say to me you can say in front of them. 166 00:06:54,593 --> 00:06:57,240 If anything, nigga, you the stranger here. You should leave the room. 167 00:06:57,264 --> 00:06:58,341 It's my office. 168 00:06:58,665 --> 00:07:00,411 Okay, then, so what's the big fucking secret 169 00:07:00,435 --> 00:07:03,213 that you can't tell me in front of my fans and my people? 170 00:07:03,237 --> 00:07:05,216 Matter of fact, why am I even here? 171 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,174 You wanted to talk to me about your criminal case. 172 00:07:08,288 --> 00:07:09,688 Oh, that's right! 173 00:07:09,912 --> 00:07:12,727 I reviewed the case, and I've watched the security footage. 174 00:07:12,751 --> 00:07:15,797 Cool. So, what do you think? Can you get me off? 175 00:07:15,821 --> 00:07:17,832 Did you rob the liquor store, Flizzy? 176 00:07:17,856 --> 00:07:22,024 I can't say that... I did it, but, honestly, really can't say 177 00:07:22,028 --> 00:07:23,340 f'sho one way or the other. 178 00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:25,664 And why can't you say "f'sho"? 179 00:07:25,677 --> 00:07:26,678 I was fucked up! 180 00:07:26,702 --> 00:07:29,247 And how about these... How about your entourage? 181 00:07:29,271 --> 00:07:32,084 - Do they know anything? - They was fucked up, too! 182 00:07:32,108 --> 00:07:33,986 Hey, man, when we go out, we go hard. 183 00:07:34,010 --> 00:07:36,623 You don't understand how complicated it is being me. 184 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,327 - I say shit all the time I didn't even know I said. - How? 185 00:07:39,351 --> 00:07:42,331 'Cause I got like 18 people tweeting for me at one time. 186 00:07:42,355 --> 00:07:43,498 And we're all fucked up! 187 00:07:43,522 --> 00:07:45,935 So, like, I look at the tape and I say, "is it me, or is it me" 188 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:49,927 "or the someone I just paid to rob a liquor store who looks just like me?" 189 00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:51,165 I don't know. 190 00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:52,877 Okay, I want you to know up front 191 00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:56,382 that I have serious issues with some of your behavior in the past, 192 00:07:56,406 --> 00:07:58,518 - especially hitting a woman. - B... but wait. 193 00:07:58,542 --> 00:07:59,753 I knew you was gonna say that. 194 00:08:00,077 --> 00:08:02,155 - Can I tell you my side of it, though? - No, I don't... 195 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,406 - Can I tell you my side of it, though? - No, Flizzy, there's no excuse for... 196 00:08:04,449 --> 00:08:06,149 Can I tell you my side of it though? 197 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,186 Fine! What? 198 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:09,987 Man, I was fucked up! 199 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,437 Soon as I got arrested, I said, 200 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,440 "I want the dude that got R. Kelly off." 201 00:08:15,464 --> 00:08:17,341 Well, I prosecuted R. Kelly, and I... 202 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:20,166 Never mind. My answer is almost certainly no, 203 00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:21,948 but... I'll think about it. 204 00:08:22,372 --> 00:08:24,839 If I do take the case, my retainer is... 205 00:08:25,008 --> 00:08:26,742 My retainer is... 206 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,747 Please stop throwing money at me. 207 00:08:32,552 --> 00:08:34,597 Things a bitch will never say. 208 00:08:35,121 --> 00:08:37,122 Hey, that's a song! 209 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:40,059 A'ight, pimpin', I'm-a see you tomorrow. 210 00:08:44,332 --> 00:08:47,265 That singer pretty boy Flizzy came in today. 211 00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:49,582 Pretty boy Flizzy? Are you serious? 212 00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:52,753 He's hiring you to defend him for the liquor-store thing? 213 00:08:52,777 --> 00:08:55,445 - Tom, that's huge! - Don't get too excited. 214 00:08:55,481 --> 00:08:57,559 - I'm not taking the case. - Why not? 215 00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,863 I don't want to defend a woman-beater, for one. 216 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,864 He made a little tiny mistake. 217 00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:04,869 I guess hitting a woman is okay if you have abs, is that it? 218 00:09:04,893 --> 00:09:06,427 He's a talented artist. 219 00:09:06,662 --> 00:09:08,674 Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. Slow down. 220 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:09,999 "Fluid swap"? 221 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:11,878 "Rub against my erection"? 222 00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:13,481 "You make me wanna unh"? 223 00:09:13,905 --> 00:09:15,783 I love "you make me wanna unh!" 224 00:09:15,907 --> 00:09:18,687 Oh, do you think you could get him to sing at Jazmine's birthday? 225 00:09:18,711 --> 00:09:20,690 No! Do you let her listen to that? 226 00:09:20,714 --> 00:09:22,559 Our problems have been rough on her. 227 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,517 It would be nice to, you know... 228 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:25,797 What? 229 00:09:26,121 --> 00:09:29,055 Don't you think I know what's going on here? 230 00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:31,392 - What? - This isn't about Jazmine. 231 00:09:31,528 --> 00:09:33,506 You want to meet pretty boy Flizzy. 232 00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:36,610 No, Jazmine wants to meet pretty boy Flizzy. 233 00:09:36,634 --> 00:09:38,947 No, you want me to defend pretty boy Flizzy 234 00:09:38,971 --> 00:09:42,704 because you want to meet him and do him! 235 00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:45,910 - What? - Yeah! Yeah! You do! 236 00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:49,113 You want to go unh on him! 237 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:52,051 You want to unh on him all night! 238 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,488 I can't believe how insecure you are! 239 00:09:54,491 --> 00:09:55,635 Listen to yourself. 240 00:09:55,959 --> 00:09:57,537 He's like your perfect man! 241 00:09:57,861 --> 00:10:01,929 He won't even say sorry when he pounds your face in! 242 00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:03,734 Wait. 243 00:10:03,759 --> 00:10:05,258 Wait. 244 00:10:05,515 --> 00:10:06,715 He's not coming this way. 245 00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:09,207 He's getting in his car. 246 00:10:12,513 --> 00:10:15,746 You're a selfish bastard, Robert Freeman! 247 00:10:23,627 --> 00:10:25,640 I just don't think it's gonna work out, Flizzy. 248 00:10:25,664 --> 00:10:26,765 Why not? 249 00:10:26,999 --> 00:10:28,476 Well, it's not you. It's me. 250 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:30,446 I'm just dealing with some personal problems. 251 00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,014 Hey, suck that shit up, my dude! 252 00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:33,482 Come on, Tom! You know what? 253 00:10:33,506 --> 00:10:35,452 Right now, we're both letting the haters get us down. 254 00:10:35,476 --> 00:10:37,696 We got to shake the haters. Do this for me, Tom. 255 00:10:37,711 --> 00:10:42,713 Come on. Shake those haters. I'm hate-free, but I can still feel the hate on you. 256 00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:45,119 Mmm. Feels good, doesn't it? 257 00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,722 Okay, so... Now will you take the case? 258 00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:49,692 - No. - Okay, fine. 259 00:10:49,994 --> 00:10:51,972 If you can't take the case, you can't take the case. 260 00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:55,130 It just seems like me... Sexy, buff alpha male. 261 00:10:55,201 --> 00:10:57,480 And you, kindhearted but frumpy everyman. 262 00:10:57,504 --> 00:10:59,450 Could somehow be able to help each other. 263 00:10:59,474 --> 00:11:01,707 Am I a frumpy everyman? 264 00:11:01,942 --> 00:11:04,876 Is that it? Is that why she's lost interest? 265 00:11:04,890 --> 00:11:05,890 Of course. 266 00:11:06,014 --> 00:11:08,682 You're dull as fuck, Tom! You dress like shit. 267 00:11:08,719 --> 00:11:10,262 Your hair looks like shit. 268 00:11:10,286 --> 00:11:13,800 You got no flash, no swag, no thin veneer of toughness. 269 00:11:13,824 --> 00:11:16,738 Of course your wife left you and is doing it to some random guy. 270 00:11:16,762 --> 00:11:18,174 That's not what I said happened. 271 00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,542 So, look... You take the case, 272 00:11:19,566 --> 00:11:23,214 and I teach you how to dress and how to talk to bitches and save your marriage. 273 00:11:23,338 --> 00:11:24,682 You know what? Why not? 274 00:11:24,806 --> 00:11:27,286 You're not gonna teach me how to dance, right? 275 00:11:27,610 --> 00:11:29,011 No. No dancing. 276 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,724 But there will be a shopping montage. 277 00:11:31,848 --> 00:11:35,382 Two things women hate... Broke men and boring men. 278 00:11:35,453 --> 00:11:37,198 Good news is, you're not broke. 279 00:11:37,222 --> 00:11:40,369 But you are boring, and women hate to be bored, Tom. 280 00:11:40,393 --> 00:11:41,860 They hate to be bored. 281 00:11:41,928 --> 00:11:43,172 A woman would rather be with a guy 282 00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:45,442 that beats them to death than bores them to death. 283 00:11:45,466 --> 00:11:47,067 Trust me, nigga, I know. 284 00:11:49,904 --> 00:11:51,538 But why do they want me, Tom? 285 00:11:51,607 --> 00:11:52,785 Is it my incredible sexiness? 286 00:11:52,809 --> 00:11:54,810 Sure. But why am I so sexy? 287 00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:57,646 What is the secret to my sexiness? 288 00:11:57,648 --> 00:12:00,882 My money, my jewels, fame? Absolutely. 289 00:12:01,486 --> 00:12:03,998 But, really, it's because I'm a fuck up. 290 00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:08,090 I get arrested, I do drugs, I rob liquor stores... Allegedly! 291 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:11,029 - That's what all women want. - Why? 292 00:12:11,032 --> 00:12:13,366 Because women have no self-respect! 293 00:12:14,536 --> 00:12:16,604 Well, my wife has self-respect. 294 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,450 - Really? You sure? - Yes. 295 00:12:18,474 --> 00:12:21,421 She's an educated, well-rounded, confident woman. 296 00:12:21,445 --> 00:12:22,555 I may need to meet her. 297 00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:24,758 No, no, no. No. I know where this goes. 298 00:12:24,782 --> 00:12:27,882 - You're not going to do my wife. - Do your wife? 299 00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:29,131 Tom, I wouldn't do your wife. 300 00:12:29,155 --> 00:12:31,956 You have a song called "I will do your wife!" 301 00:12:32,026 --> 00:12:33,926 I didn't mean your wife! 302 00:12:34,094 --> 00:12:35,840 I meant that metaphorically. 303 00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,309 Mmm, I still don't think it's a good idea. 304 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,378 Nigga, I swear on my abs... 305 00:12:40,702 --> 00:12:43,503 On my abs, nigga! I will not touch your wife. 306 00:12:43,507 --> 00:12:46,541 Well, my daughter would love to meet you. 307 00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:49,912 - A small dinner. No entourage! - No problem. 308 00:12:53,719 --> 00:12:55,939 Man, I can't believe all these people showed up. 309 00:12:56,055 --> 00:12:59,636 Well, maybe if you hadn't tweeted our address to three million people... 310 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:02,528 - Hey, man... - Yeah, you were f'ed up, I know. 311 00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,541 Okay, so, check it. Key with chicks is 312 00:13:04,665 --> 00:13:06,245 to insult them when you compliment them. 313 00:13:06,469 --> 00:13:07,746 Never be too nice. 314 00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,771 Trust me. Go neg on her. 315 00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:09,841 Knock her down a peg. She'll love it. 316 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,613 Hey, sweetie, you look lovely tonight. 317 00:13:17,694 --> 00:13:18,694 Oh, thank you, honey. 318 00:13:18,818 --> 00:13:21,452 Yeah, but not as nice as you think you look. 319 00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:22,556 Asshole! 320 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:30,944 Hey, neighbor! 321 00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:33,179 We, uh, heard there's a dinner party going down, 322 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:37,404 and I never received the e-vite, so here we are. 323 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,993 You didn't get one because you weren't invited. 324 00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:46,129 You got a lot of nerve leaving me out in the cold 325 00:13:46,153 --> 00:13:49,621 and then wanting to come to the Flizzy dinner for the free food. 326 00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:51,303 We didn't come here for the free food. 327 00:13:51,327 --> 00:13:52,538 We came here to warn you. 328 00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:54,740 Tom, you got to get that Flizzy away from your wife! 329 00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,510 It's bad enough she's trapped in this passionless, 330 00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:58,078 sexually unfulfilling marriage with you. 331 00:13:58,102 --> 00:14:00,164 Her ladyparts probably burning with unquenchable lust, 332 00:14:00,171 --> 00:14:02,450 and you just gonna dangle all that sexiness in front of her? 333 00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:06,275 - Huh? - Man, it's like: "here, nigga, take my wife, please!" 334 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,824 You know he's got a song called... 335 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,225 "I will do your wife," yes. 336 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,283 But there's also a song called, "white wifebooty." 337 00:14:12,454 --> 00:14:14,154 - Know that? - Really? 338 00:14:14,155 --> 00:14:18,123 No, no, I didn't. And it doesn't matter, guys. 339 00:14:18,162 --> 00:14:19,672 I... I know what I'm doing. 340 00:14:19,696 --> 00:14:21,574 Flizzy's gonna help me work things out with Sarah. 341 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,143 Oh, he gonna work something out, all right. 342 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,012 - That booty. - He's here to help. 343 00:14:25,036 --> 00:14:26,948 Oh, he gonna help himself to that booty! 344 00:14:27,272 --> 00:14:29,285 - It's under control! - He's gonna... 345 00:14:29,309 --> 00:14:30,886 Control that booty. Got it. 346 00:14:30,910 --> 00:14:32,510 I wasn't gonna say that. 347 00:14:32,547 --> 00:14:34,725 He gonna be under that booty! 348 00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:37,428 Good one, granddad! 349 00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:39,419 Yeah, ha, yeah, very funny guys. Enough. 350 00:14:39,489 --> 00:14:40,432 As long as you know. 351 00:14:40,456 --> 00:14:42,667 Next time your kids are born with great abs and tattoos, 352 00:14:42,691 --> 00:14:46,292 don't say I didn't warn you. Come on, kids. Let's eat. 353 00:14:49,968 --> 00:14:54,169 Oh, my God, you're so funny and so polite. 354 00:14:54,773 --> 00:14:58,774 I can't believe you rob liquor stores and you beat up women. 355 00:14:58,813 --> 00:15:00,357 - Sarah! - No, it's cool. 356 00:15:00,481 --> 00:15:03,061 She's right. I really need to stop getting arrested. 357 00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:06,365 I'm not passing judgment about the Christianna thing. 358 00:15:06,389 --> 00:15:09,389 I know sometimes bitches step out of line. 359 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:11,327 Lord knows I do! 360 00:15:11,362 --> 00:15:13,508 Honey, there are children at the table. 361 00:15:13,632 --> 00:15:15,632 Now, I want to be clear, kids. 362 00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:17,935 Hitting a woman is wrong... 363 00:15:17,971 --> 00:15:19,816 Unless she hits you first. 364 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,374 Ain't that right! 365 00:15:22,676 --> 00:15:24,444 Or she talks about your mama! 366 00:15:24,446 --> 00:15:26,113 Sarah, that is enough! 367 00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:27,760 "Sarah, that's enough." 368 00:15:28,284 --> 00:15:28,961 Sarah, that's it! 369 00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:30,997 You're embarrassing yourself in front of your daughter 370 00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:32,633 and in front of pretty boy Flizzy! 371 00:15:32,657 --> 00:15:34,034 It's like we not even here. 372 00:15:34,158 --> 00:15:37,205 Now, you've had enough. You are going to go upstairs and sleep it off! 373 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:40,230 What are you gonna do, Tom? Hit me? 374 00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:41,966 No! I'm gonna leave you! 375 00:15:43,536 --> 00:15:44,336 Daddy! 376 00:15:44,605 --> 00:15:46,105 Tom, wait! Tom! 377 00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:47,674 Tom grew a pair. 378 00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:49,755 Didn't see that coming. 379 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,694 Oh, bitter. Sorry to bother you. 380 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,677 Didn't really have anyone else to call. 381 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,513 Eh, no sweat, man. That was rough. 382 00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,137 Yeah, it was a disaster. 383 00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:13,151 So much for making a man out of me. 384 00:16:13,175 --> 00:16:16,288 Naw, man. To just stand up and walk out, that took guts. 385 00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:19,880 All I ended up learning is my wife likes you better. 386 00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,461 Your wife doesn't like me better. 387 00:16:21,585 --> 00:16:23,364 You guys are both just boring as fuck. 388 00:16:23,388 --> 00:16:25,033 You're rolling with me tonight. 389 00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:26,633 I'm taking you to man camp. 390 00:16:26,657 --> 00:16:29,070 But I don't hang with no negative-energy-sucking motherfuckers. 391 00:16:29,294 --> 00:16:33,009 So gather up some positivity in this bitch right quick and let's roll out. 392 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,434 Okay! I can be positive. 393 00:16:34,435 --> 00:16:38,235 I'm not a loser. I can... get stuff happening, 394 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,907 and I got stuff going on! 395 00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:42,088 Things could be worse. 396 00:16:42,112 --> 00:16:43,445 I could be that guy. 397 00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:46,382 It's a mirror, Tom. 398 00:16:46,418 --> 00:16:48,018 Mmm, fuck. 399 00:16:49,253 --> 00:16:50,653 ♪ We gettin' fucked up 400 00:16:50,655 --> 00:17:05,072 ♪ We fucking strippers We gettin' fucked up 401 00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:06,476 Welcome. 402 00:17:08,143 --> 00:17:10,743 Oh, what the heck. It's man camp. 403 00:17:13,317 --> 00:17:15,385 ♪ At the club Big tippers 404 00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:17,721 ♪ She makin' money 405 00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:18,801 ♪ I'm-a still stiff her 406 00:17:18,825 --> 00:17:20,437 ♪ Poppin' molly drinkin' drank 407 00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:22,995 ♪ Big trippers See us buyin' out a bar 408 00:17:23,031 --> 00:17:26,512 ♪ That's the big picture Your man lookin' for his girl 409 00:17:26,536 --> 00:17:28,269 ♪ I think he missed her... 410 00:17:29,373 --> 00:17:32,840 Hey, this is the buy-n-fly that Flizzy robbed. 411 00:17:33,411 --> 00:17:34,544 Funny. 412 00:17:38,884 --> 00:17:40,396 ♪ Baby, grab your ankles Tylenol? 413 00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,298 ♪ You know what's next 414 00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,768 ♪ Girl, I'm on that drank 415 00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,069 ♪ And you on that molly 416 00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:48,061 ♪ Come back to the crib for the after party 417 00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:51,343 ♪ You can bring your friends Got a lot of time 418 00:17:51,467 --> 00:17:54,446 I'm telling you, we've watched this thing a million times. 419 00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:56,804 We know that's Flizzy. Case closed. 420 00:17:57,208 --> 00:17:59,676 That's right. Ha, ha, ha! Yeah! 421 00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:07,284 Cut! 422 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,888 There was a P.A. in the shot! Reset! 423 00:18:10,525 --> 00:18:13,259 -Man, I'm getting sweaty. - Pretty's sweaty. 424 00:18:13,296 --> 00:18:15,629 Is someone deaf? Shine check! 425 00:18:16,532 --> 00:18:19,478 Can you throw me a line? Trying to get my union card. 426 00:18:19,502 --> 00:18:21,703 Find anything, Columbo? 427 00:18:21,706 --> 00:18:23,306 Uh, nope! Nothing. 428 00:18:23,774 --> 00:18:25,375 Thanks, Jack. 429 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,000 Mrs. Dubois, do you mind if we do a quick sound check? 430 00:18:36,024 --> 00:18:37,357 Of course. Go ahead. 431 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:43,276 Okay, "I'm gonna "Eat your snatch box." On one, two, three. 432 00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:45,033 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on! 433 00:18:45,069 --> 00:18:46,270 Excuse me just a sec. 434 00:18:46,271 --> 00:18:48,816 You, uh, can't sing that at Jazmine's party. 435 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,619 Why not? You don't like it? 436 00:18:50,643 --> 00:18:52,554 No! I love that song. A lot, actually. 437 00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:54,858 We just have to replace snatch box with something. 438 00:18:54,882 --> 00:18:56,325 - Pussy? - No, no. 439 00:18:56,349 --> 00:18:59,150 - How about "cake"? - Sure thing, Mrs. Dubois. 440 00:19:08,042 --> 00:19:09,342 What's up, tiger? 441 00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:12,280 - You faked the robbery. - What are you talking about? 442 00:19:12,404 --> 00:19:15,417 I watched the surveillance tape, Flizzy. The whole tape. 443 00:19:15,441 --> 00:19:17,441 I know you staged the robbery. 444 00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:19,622 You just couldn't leave shit alone, could you? 445 00:19:19,646 --> 00:19:22,293 What else was fake? Were the Nicaraguan guns fake? 446 00:19:22,317 --> 00:19:24,296 Did you really even beat Christianna? 447 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,767 Don't you ever question whether or not I beat Christianna! 448 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,591 I whopped that bitch's ass! 449 00:19:29,660 --> 00:19:32,072 But the Nicki Minaj thing was staged. 450 00:19:32,496 --> 00:19:34,976 She ain't really a cyborg, either. She's a nice girl. 451 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,980 Damn, Tom. Why couldn't you just mind your own business? 452 00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:40,249 I'm your attorney! This is my business! 453 00:19:40,373 --> 00:19:43,119 - But why? - 'Cause I got to stay relevant! That's why! 454 00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:44,687 This music shit sucks right now! 455 00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:47,858 You got to act like an idiot just to stay in their fucking faces! 456 00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:51,930 But if I can stay in just the right amount of trouble, I'll be all right. 457 00:19:51,954 --> 00:19:54,955 My audience is women, Tom. Women. 458 00:19:54,992 --> 00:19:56,793 And women hate to be bored. 459 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,372 Look, Flizzy, I'm sorry. 460 00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:00,464 I don't understand any of this. 461 00:20:00,476 --> 00:20:01,476 I don't live in your world. 462 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,879 I'm a simple guy. I just want to do my job, 463 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:08,537 take care of my family, and I needed some help trying to get my wife back. 464 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:11,923 Oh, you want your wife back? 465 00:20:12,047 --> 00:20:14,927 How about not inviting a nigga that's richer than you 466 00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:16,495 and prettier than you to meet your wife? 467 00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,230 I mean, how stupid can you be, nigga? 468 00:20:18,254 --> 00:20:20,066 What? But I... I thought we were... 469 00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:23,137 Thought what, nigga? I'm tired of your punk-ass! 470 00:20:24,863 --> 00:20:26,943 Flizzy, I think you should just leave. 471 00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:28,477 Shit! Leave? 472 00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:30,280 I might as well move in this bitch. 473 00:20:30,304 --> 00:20:31,948 You already done gave me your wife. 474 00:20:31,972 --> 00:20:33,017 Shit this is my house. 475 00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:35,686 Jazmine's gonna be calling me daddy from now on. 476 00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:37,722 - Now, that's enough! - Oh, you mad, Tom? 477 00:20:37,746 --> 00:20:40,059 What you gonna do? You want to hit me? Hit me, Tom! 478 00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:42,150 Hey! Flizzy, I'm warning you... 479 00:20:43,419 --> 00:20:45,265 Hit me, Tom. Come on, hit me now! 480 00:20:45,689 --> 00:20:47,556 All right, you asked for it! 481 00:20:50,095 --> 00:20:50,896 Tom! 482 00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,275 Come on, motherfucker. 483 00:20:55,199 --> 00:20:57,400 Aah! You're not taking my family! 484 00:20:57,771 --> 00:20:59,572 Tom! Oh, my God! Tom, stop! 485 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:01,819 Oh! I knew it! I knew it! 486 00:21:02,143 --> 00:21:05,344 Citizen's arrest! I'm making a citizen's arrest! 487 00:21:08,286 --> 00:21:09,997 Now shut up! Stop squirming! 488 00:21:10,421 --> 00:21:12,821 You have the right to remain silent! 489 00:21:13,025 --> 00:21:14,558 Oh! Baby, are you okay? 490 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,206 I can't believe you did that. You were a maniac! 491 00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:19,363 I have never seen you like that. 492 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,452 All right, get moving, get moving. 493 00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:29,656 Avert your eyes, avert your eyes. Just a nigga going to jail. 494 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,013 Nothing to see here. 495 00:21:33,217 --> 00:21:34,995 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 496 00:21:35,019 --> 00:21:37,667 I was such a bitch, and you didn't deserve any of that. 497 00:21:37,691 --> 00:21:38,568 Yes. 498 00:21:38,692 --> 00:21:41,059 Yes, you were a... "b." 499 00:21:41,428 --> 00:21:42,962 Please come home. 500 00:21:43,031 --> 00:21:46,164 Please. I have cake. 501 00:21:46,668 --> 00:21:50,569 Let's get you upstairs. You ready for some Sarah cake? 502 00:21:53,008 --> 00:21:54,276 Naughty. 503 00:21:59,712 --> 00:22:00,946 Oh, my back! 504 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:02,921 Oh! I'm sorry. 505 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:07,724 ♪ Yeah. I wanna do your wife 506 00:22:08,329 --> 00:22:10,996 ♪ I wanna do your wife 507 00:22:11,343 --> 00:22:12,544 ♪ Do your wife 508 00:22:12,568 --> 00:22:16,435 ♪ Do your wife ♪ I wanna do your wife 509 00:22:18,307 --> 00:22:20,508 ♪ 'Cause you a broke motherfucker 510 00:22:20,845 --> 00:22:23,579 ♪ And you don't even know how to fuck no! 511 00:22:24,649 --> 00:22:26,361 ♪ You don't even cheat on her 512 00:22:26,385 --> 00:22:29,953 ♪ She gettin' bored 'cause you don't even beat on her ♪ 513 00:22:32,077 --> 00:22:37,077 Resync and edited by Raindrops