1 00:01:15,515 --> 00:01:17,175 INSPECTOR CHAN 2 00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:53,335 SUPER CRIME FIGHTERS 3 00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:06,525 Anyone else? 4 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,865 Such a beautiful woman... 5 00:02:17,035 --> 00:02:20,405 ...and you arrest her... 6 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:23,305 ...just for spitting? 7 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:27,215 Is there no justice? 8 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,475 Is there no law? 9 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,045 Commissioner is only your boss... 10 00:02:34,225 --> 00:02:36,815 ...because he paid his dues to the Crocodile Gang. 11 00:02:37,595 --> 00:02:39,995 And you don't fucking know me? 12 00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:43,795 Sorry, I didn't know she was your wife. 13 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,895 Ugly coward! 14 00:02:58,185 --> 00:03:01,415 What are you looking at? Never seen such a handsome gang boss? 15 00:03:08,295 --> 00:03:10,695 Who'd be in the film business? 16 00:03:10,865 --> 00:03:13,625 It's Sunday, and the theater's deserted. 17 00:03:14,465 --> 00:03:15,935 Where's the car? 18 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:28,765 Let's go back inside! 19 00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:51,855 Call for help! 20 00:03:54,005 --> 00:03:56,635 No need for that, Northerner. 21 00:03:56,805 --> 00:04:02,145 While you were messing with the cop, your men signed up with us. 22 00:04:03,715 --> 00:04:06,645 I'll kill all you Axe Gangsters! 23 00:04:40,285 --> 00:04:44,515 Stop! You forget the time I treated you to dinner. 24 00:04:55,565 --> 00:04:56,725 Brother Sum. 25 00:05:04,445 --> 00:05:05,565 Please... 26 00:05:07,315 --> 00:05:08,975 Please spare me. 27 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,375 Don't worry. 28 00:05:11,985 --> 00:05:15,785 I don't kill women. You can go! 29 00:05:16,555 --> 00:05:18,215 Thank you, Big Brother. 30 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,795 Cops! Come clean up the mess! 31 00:06:52,915 --> 00:06:56,645 THE AXE GANG 32 00:06:58,825 --> 00:07:00,025 In a time of social unrest and disorder... 33 00:07:00,025 --> 00:07:00,755 In a time of social unrest and disorder... 34 00:07:00,925 --> 00:07:03,725 ...the gangs have moved in to consolidate their power. 35 00:07:03,895 --> 00:07:06,325 The most feared of them all is the Axe Gang. 36 00:07:06,495 --> 00:07:10,325 Only in the poorest districts, which hold no interest for the gangs... 37 00:07:10,495 --> 00:07:12,165 ...can people live in peace. 38 00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:16,335 PIG STY ALLE Y 39 00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:38,785 One, two, three! 40 00:07:39,865 --> 00:07:41,695 - That okay, Coolie? - No problem! 41 00:07:59,815 --> 00:08:01,215 TAILOR 42 00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:06,955 NOODLES AND CONGEE 43 00:08:27,745 --> 00:08:30,335 My check, please, Donut. 44 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:36,245 - How much? - It's on the house! 45 00:08:36,455 --> 00:08:37,615 Donut. 46 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,115 - It's nothing. - I like you. 47 00:08:40,285 --> 00:08:43,285 I'll ask the wife about lowering your rent. 48 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,695 Morning, Landlord! 49 00:08:48,765 --> 00:08:49,755 Landlord! 50 00:08:49,935 --> 00:08:51,595 Jill! How you've grown! 51 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,965 Come let me examine you! 52 00:09:06,615 --> 00:09:08,945 Good to see you, Landlord! 53 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,605 What's so good about it? 54 00:09:10,785 --> 00:09:11,945 Don't...! 55 00:09:17,795 --> 00:09:23,125 Can you make the skirt slit higher? 56 00:09:23,795 --> 00:09:25,325 Sure! 57 00:09:25,505 --> 00:09:26,965 Look, a comet! 58 00:09:30,505 --> 00:09:31,995 Jane! You naughty girl! 59 00:09:32,175 --> 00:09:35,875 Landlord! You're such a scoundrel! 60 00:09:38,015 --> 00:09:43,005 Don't go, Jane! Stay and chat! 61 00:09:43,315 --> 00:09:46,485 I'm only kidding. Jane! 62 00:10:06,945 --> 00:10:08,345 Landlady! 63 00:10:09,145 --> 00:10:10,615 Landlady! 64 00:10:13,715 --> 00:10:16,245 What happened to the water? 65 00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:31,855 Water ain't free! 66 00:10:32,035 --> 00:10:36,265 You talk a lot for someone who won't pay his rent. 67 00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:40,135 But I'm in the middle of a shampoo. 68 00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:41,775 You think that's a problem? 69 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,975 From now on, no water on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. 70 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,085 Water ration Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. 71 00:10:48,255 --> 00:10:53,115 I just love hearing you fools complain. Assholes! 72 00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:54,485 Good morning, Landlady! 73 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:58,885 Just pay your rent, or I'll burn your shop down. 74 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:02,795 What's so funny? Rent's no laughing matter, fairy! 75 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:08,725 Serves you right you're a coolie! 76 00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:12,105 Months overdue and not even a "good morning." 77 00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:14,135 You'll be a coolie for life. 78 00:11:20,115 --> 00:11:21,985 There you go, handsome! 79 00:11:25,925 --> 00:11:28,355 What took you so long with the congee? 80 00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:31,425 I stopped to help an old lady cross the street. 81 00:11:31,595 --> 00:11:34,355 - What are you doing here? - Checking for Peeping Toms. 82 00:11:34,535 --> 00:11:36,765 Was someone just spying on you, Auntie Six? 83 00:11:36,935 --> 00:11:40,495 Don't shoot your mouth off without proof. 84 00:11:43,605 --> 00:11:46,545 She's crazy. 85 00:12:19,075 --> 00:12:20,805 Go away! 86 00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:42,225 Please can you teach us, sir? 87 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,495 No more soccer! 88 00:13:19,805 --> 00:13:22,035 - Who wants the cut? - My boss. 89 00:13:24,705 --> 00:13:25,865 Take a seat. 90 00:13:36,755 --> 00:13:39,245 Done! Fifty cents, please. 91 00:13:40,725 --> 00:13:42,285 Isn't it great? 92 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,085 It's too good! 93 00:13:44,965 --> 00:13:47,125 Why'd you make him look so good? 94 00:13:47,835 --> 00:13:49,225 Why? 95 00:13:56,635 --> 00:14:00,305 Don't get mad, boss. He's my old buddy. I'll handle this. 96 00:14:02,315 --> 00:14:05,975 He's boss of the Axe Gang. Don't you see the two axes? We're bad guys. 97 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,985 Making him look good is really bad. Understand? 98 00:14:09,155 --> 00:14:11,445 - I didn't know. - You're a numskull! 99 00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:15,245 But I like you, so just pay me, and I'll take care of it. 100 00:14:15,425 --> 00:14:16,485 No way! 101 00:14:18,765 --> 00:14:22,525 Steady with the axe, boss. Let me talk to him. 102 00:14:24,705 --> 00:14:28,265 I really care for you. You saw it for yourself. Seriously. 103 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:32,775 Why don't you pay up. Not much. Enough for a drink. 104 00:14:32,945 --> 00:14:35,105 Oh, so it's blackmail! 105 00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,275 Boss! 106 00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:40,275 Boss! 107 00:14:44,115 --> 00:14:47,285 Now you're dead! 108 00:14:47,455 --> 00:14:49,985 Looks like he's waking up! 109 00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:51,495 I'm not afraid. 110 00:14:51,665 --> 00:14:53,625 You can kill me. 111 00:14:53,795 --> 00:14:57,195 But there'll be thousands more of me! 112 00:15:00,405 --> 00:15:03,665 You want to play tough? The Axe Gang boss is napping in there. 113 00:15:03,835 --> 00:15:05,635 Whoever wants to die, step forward. 114 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,415 So you want to fight? 115 00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:13,635 Great! We'll go one-on-one. 116 00:15:13,815 --> 00:15:16,975 Don't even think about cheating. 117 00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:18,975 That old woman with the onion! 118 00:15:21,325 --> 00:15:26,655 You look real tough. Want to try me? I'll let you hit me first. 119 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:32,765 What do you do? 120 00:15:32,935 --> 00:15:34,665 I'm a farmer. 121 00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:38,325 Farmers don't fight. Piss off! 122 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:39,875 He's crazy! 123 00:15:40,045 --> 00:15:41,565 Calling me names? 124 00:15:41,745 --> 00:15:44,335 You're lucky you're a woman. 125 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:50,785 Hey, shorty! Yeah, you! If you're short, you don't retort. 126 00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:57,695 What did I say about cheating? 127 00:15:57,855 --> 00:15:59,125 Sit back down! 128 00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,795 You! The geezer with the glasses. You look mean. 129 00:16:07,975 --> 00:16:11,095 No, not you. I mean... 130 00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:12,395 You! 131 00:16:12,575 --> 00:16:15,305 Hey, kid, let's rumble! 132 00:16:17,245 --> 00:16:19,075 All right, all right! 133 00:16:19,385 --> 00:16:22,945 So no one-on-ones today. 134 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:25,315 You're all such wimps! 135 00:16:28,225 --> 00:16:30,385 He blackmailed me. 136 00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:33,955 Fat woman, you're in charge here, right? 137 00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:35,895 Fat woman, my ass! 138 00:16:36,135 --> 00:16:37,825 I'm with the Axe Gang! 139 00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:39,125 Axe Gang, my ass! 140 00:16:39,305 --> 00:16:40,295 Boss! 141 00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:42,065 Boss, my ass! 142 00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:44,495 - You have to pay our medical bills! - Bills, my ass! 143 00:16:44,675 --> 00:16:46,935 - We're on the same side! - Same side, my ass! 144 00:16:50,615 --> 00:16:53,245 Think you're so tough? I'll call for backup! 145 00:16:53,485 --> 00:16:57,915 You nitwit! Let's see you call backup! 146 00:16:59,255 --> 00:17:02,915 You don't know the backup I have. I'm talking an army here. 147 00:17:04,425 --> 00:17:09,095 Don't you go away! Go put a down payment on your coffin! 148 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,045 Who threw the firecracker? 149 00:17:30,285 --> 00:17:31,775 I'm one of you, brother. 150 00:17:54,145 --> 00:17:55,635 Mind your own business! 151 00:17:55,815 --> 00:17:59,305 It's raining. Go bring in your laundry! 152 00:17:59,585 --> 00:18:00,875 Fat woman! 153 00:18:13,865 --> 00:18:18,165 You blackmailing me too? I ain't afraid. 154 00:18:34,485 --> 00:18:35,475 I... 155 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,165 Did anyone see what happened? 156 00:18:59,175 --> 00:19:01,835 Don't! My back's broken! 157 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,305 Call for help! 158 00:19:58,535 --> 00:20:01,995 Hold on, calm down. You hungry? 159 00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:28,555 Keep quiet. 160 00:20:43,975 --> 00:20:45,375 No. 161 00:21:09,175 --> 00:21:10,725 Who did this? 162 00:21:14,605 --> 00:21:16,505 I'll count to three. 163 00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:20,505 One... 164 00:21:24,115 --> 00:21:26,085 ...two... 165 00:21:37,565 --> 00:21:38,725 I did it! 166 00:24:56,535 --> 00:24:58,435 Are the goods okay, Brother Sum? 167 00:25:00,505 --> 00:25:01,735 Sorry! 168 00:25:04,875 --> 00:25:06,865 Look away, kid. 169 00:25:11,145 --> 00:25:12,475 Get rid of him! 170 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:15,835 We're the bad guys! 171 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,045 We're meant to do the ass-kicking... 172 00:25:19,025 --> 00:25:21,145 ...not the other way around. 173 00:25:21,325 --> 00:25:24,655 And it's all because these morons posed as Axes. 174 00:25:24,825 --> 00:25:28,055 Don't waste your time, Brother Sum. 175 00:25:28,225 --> 00:25:30,995 We'll handle this. 176 00:25:31,165 --> 00:25:33,065 You! Take care of it. 177 00:25:47,285 --> 00:25:52,345 - Boy, can this guy pick locks. - It's a living. Give me a break. 178 00:25:52,525 --> 00:25:55,185 Pick that one too, if you're so good. 179 00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:56,575 Come. 180 00:25:57,295 --> 00:26:00,095 I'll count to three. 181 00:26:00,895 --> 00:26:01,915 Hurry! 182 00:26:03,665 --> 00:26:05,495 Ready? Three! 183 00:26:15,515 --> 00:26:17,305 That's quick! 184 00:26:18,645 --> 00:26:21,175 Brother Sum, we really want to be Axes. 185 00:26:21,345 --> 00:26:24,255 That's why we did what we did. Give us a chance. 186 00:26:24,585 --> 00:26:25,915 Ever killed anyone? 187 00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:28,575 I've always thought about it. 188 00:26:28,925 --> 00:26:30,355 Then go kill someone. 189 00:26:30,525 --> 00:26:32,495 I will! 190 00:26:33,865 --> 00:26:34,925 Go on! 191 00:26:35,335 --> 00:26:36,825 Thank you, Brother Sum. 192 00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:51,865 We can always find a use for that type. 193 00:26:55,285 --> 00:26:58,115 I told you before, you've got to look tough. 194 00:26:58,285 --> 00:26:59,775 Tougher! 195 00:27:01,125 --> 00:27:02,885 Tougher! 196 00:27:04,955 --> 00:27:06,515 Act the part. 197 00:27:06,695 --> 00:27:08,165 And try to stay awake. 198 00:27:08,325 --> 00:27:09,695 It's tiring being tough. 199 00:27:09,865 --> 00:27:12,955 Tiring? It's our living! 200 00:27:14,105 --> 00:27:17,795 The streets out there are filled with money and women. 201 00:27:17,975 --> 00:27:20,705 You only need the will and determination... 202 00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:24,205 ...to seize the opportunity to win. 203 00:27:24,475 --> 00:27:26,035 This is our big chance! 204 00:27:26,215 --> 00:27:28,915 We just kill someone, and we're in the gang. 205 00:27:29,385 --> 00:27:32,875 Then it'll be money and women all the way! 206 00:27:33,825 --> 00:27:36,685 Don't be like those beggars... 207 00:27:36,895 --> 00:27:39,625 ...with no ambition. 208 00:27:44,565 --> 00:27:47,725 Who are you looking at, four-eyes? I'll smash your glasses! 209 00:27:49,105 --> 00:27:50,735 Get lost! 210 00:27:51,075 --> 00:27:52,405 Come here and say that! 211 00:27:52,575 --> 00:27:54,735 - You're really gonna kill someone? - That's right! 212 00:27:54,905 --> 00:27:58,505 The four-eyes, the fat woman and all the residents of Pig Sty. 213 00:27:58,685 --> 00:28:00,445 But they're good at kung fu. 214 00:28:00,615 --> 00:28:03,445 - I can do kung fu! - Oh, yeah? 215 00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:09,245 Didn't I tell you I know Buddhist Palm kung fu? 216 00:28:11,055 --> 00:28:14,495 Hey there, handsome boy. Stop. 217 00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:18,925 Amazing! 218 00:28:19,335 --> 00:28:23,605 Do you know you have a special aura? 219 00:28:24,205 --> 00:28:27,645 You're so young, but you have the bone structure... 220 00:28:27,805 --> 00:28:31,215 and chi flow of a kung-fu genius. 221 00:28:31,775 --> 00:28:35,975 If your chi flow can be channeled, then you will be invincible! 222 00:28:36,155 --> 00:28:39,715 Like the old saying: You cannot escape your destiny. 223 00:28:40,185 --> 00:28:44,955 The duty of upholding world peace and punishing evil will be yours. 224 00:28:45,465 --> 00:28:46,445 Sure. 225 00:28:47,365 --> 00:28:50,795 This is the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. It's priceless. 226 00:28:50,965 --> 00:28:54,495 But as it's fate, I'll let you have it for $ 10. 227 00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:58,825 BUDDHIST PALM MANUAL 228 00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:05,335 - You gave him your life savings? - Yes. 229 00:29:05,515 --> 00:29:08,775 I was saving to study to be a doctor or lawyer... 230 00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:11,355 ...but this was world peace. 231 00:29:35,375 --> 00:29:37,705 Let go of the girl! 232 00:29:56,665 --> 00:29:59,495 Hey! It's the Buddhist Palm! 233 00:29:59,835 --> 00:30:01,995 "The 20-Cent Kung Fu Manual." 234 00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:03,895 You must be loaded. 235 00:30:04,305 --> 00:30:06,465 Have you killed anyone lately? 236 00:30:17,755 --> 00:30:22,655 He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers! 237 00:30:24,425 --> 00:30:28,255 I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be bad. 238 00:30:29,095 --> 00:30:31,195 I want to be the killer! 239 00:30:32,505 --> 00:30:34,695 - Ice cream! - Where? 240 00:30:35,505 --> 00:30:37,265 Make mine a vanilla. 241 00:30:37,435 --> 00:30:38,805 Chocolate for me! 242 00:30:50,355 --> 00:30:53,345 What're you looking at? Never seen free ice cream before? 243 00:30:58,795 --> 00:30:59,955 Look at her run! 244 00:31:15,305 --> 00:31:20,645 You're such kung-fu masters, go take it on the road. 245 00:31:20,815 --> 00:31:23,145 You belong in the circus, not here! 246 00:31:23,315 --> 00:31:27,545 Don't say that, Landlady. There must be a reason they're here. 247 00:31:27,855 --> 00:31:30,225 Everyone has his reasons. 248 00:31:30,395 --> 00:31:32,485 We don't want to make trouble. 249 00:31:32,665 --> 00:31:35,355 I'm glad you get it. The mob's mad at us. 250 00:31:35,535 --> 00:31:38,655 We'll never hear the end of it. Why don't you get lost! 251 00:31:39,735 --> 00:31:41,995 Your wife shouldn't be so nasty. 252 00:31:44,275 --> 00:31:46,105 You okay? 253 00:31:48,045 --> 00:31:49,565 Masters. 254 00:31:57,185 --> 00:31:59,175 We have nothing precious to give you... 255 00:31:59,355 --> 00:32:01,685 ...but take this as a token of our appreciation. 256 00:32:02,555 --> 00:32:04,455 Thanks for saving us! 257 00:32:12,205 --> 00:32:15,195 Stop the crying. This isn't a show! 258 00:32:15,365 --> 00:32:18,935 - You're so cold-hearted. - Talking back to me, eh? 259 00:32:19,105 --> 00:32:21,905 You may know kung fu, but you're still a fairy. 260 00:32:24,415 --> 00:32:27,315 It's no crime to be good at kung fu! 261 00:32:27,485 --> 00:32:30,245 Once a fairy, always a fairy. 262 00:32:30,415 --> 00:32:33,945 Look at you. What's with the red underwear? 263 00:32:34,125 --> 00:32:36,615 Why not a diaper while you're at it. 264 00:32:37,895 --> 00:32:39,915 What's wrong with red underwear? 265 00:32:40,165 --> 00:32:42,995 Where were you when there was trouble? 266 00:32:43,165 --> 00:32:47,125 If it weren't for them, we'd be finished. Be reasonable! 267 00:32:47,305 --> 00:32:48,795 I'll reason with you. 268 00:32:48,975 --> 00:32:52,235 You owe me three months' rent. That's $90. 269 00:32:52,405 --> 00:32:54,675 Pay up or pack up! 270 00:32:54,845 --> 00:32:57,005 Don't you worry. I'll pay it. 271 00:32:57,175 --> 00:32:59,665 Think you're a smartass, Rabbit-Tooth Jane? 272 00:32:59,845 --> 00:33:02,475 What's it to you, tub of lard? 273 00:33:02,655 --> 00:33:03,815 Bitch! 274 00:33:04,955 --> 00:33:06,615 Calm down, Landlady. 275 00:33:08,025 --> 00:33:10,085 This is your fault. 276 00:33:12,295 --> 00:33:14,595 - Are you trying to kill us? - You're right. 277 00:33:14,765 --> 00:33:16,925 How could you do that? 278 00:33:17,095 --> 00:33:19,035 Shut the hell up! 279 00:33:32,285 --> 00:33:34,515 You think you can out-yell me? 280 00:33:38,615 --> 00:33:41,385 The fat lady can really sing. 281 00:33:42,425 --> 00:33:43,915 Watch this! 282 00:33:58,875 --> 00:34:00,065 What happened? 283 00:34:00,445 --> 00:34:03,375 What do you mean, what happened? You try it. 284 00:34:03,545 --> 00:34:05,515 - Me? - Quick! 285 00:34:11,355 --> 00:34:13,615 Sorry! You okay? 286 00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:17,725 I think you should get closer and take better aim. Okay? 287 00:34:17,895 --> 00:34:18,885 Okay! 288 00:34:31,105 --> 00:34:33,765 - Who's throwing the handles? - Handle? 289 00:34:35,915 --> 00:34:37,875 Where's the third knife? 290 00:34:38,545 --> 00:34:40,985 God knows where it went. 291 00:34:41,145 --> 00:34:43,615 Could it be the same one? Can't be... 292 00:34:43,785 --> 00:34:45,545 - Don't! - Sorry. 293 00:34:47,725 --> 00:34:49,555 What are you trying to say? 294 00:34:49,725 --> 00:34:53,885 I just remembered I have something to do. See you! 295 00:34:56,495 --> 00:34:58,555 Uh-oh. They've seen us! 296 00:35:00,065 --> 00:35:01,505 Stay back! 297 00:35:10,075 --> 00:35:14,175 Don't panic! Snakes like music. If I whistle, they won't bite. 298 00:35:14,345 --> 00:35:15,905 Please, no more bright ideas. 299 00:35:20,025 --> 00:35:21,485 Oh, what the hell! 300 00:35:28,265 --> 00:35:29,825 Not you again, asshole! 301 00:35:29,995 --> 00:35:33,365 Get back to your business! 302 00:35:35,205 --> 00:35:36,695 Split up! 303 00:35:38,975 --> 00:35:40,135 Split? 304 00:37:53,075 --> 00:37:54,405 What're you doing here? 305 00:37:54,575 --> 00:37:56,735 Looking for you. Weren't you hurt? 306 00:37:56,915 --> 00:37:58,105 I'm fine! 307 00:38:00,185 --> 00:38:03,085 How come you always recover so fast? 308 00:38:03,415 --> 00:38:04,905 I don't know. 309 00:38:05,285 --> 00:38:07,915 - Which hospital did you go to? - Don't remember. 310 00:38:08,685 --> 00:38:10,315 Maybe it's better that way. 311 00:38:10,495 --> 00:38:15,195 Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing! 312 00:38:15,365 --> 00:38:18,195 I never knew you were so deep. 313 00:38:19,435 --> 00:38:21,925 All the sadness one can bear... 314 00:38:29,915 --> 00:38:33,175 ...down the river everywhere. 315 00:38:35,485 --> 00:38:37,075 Hey, get out of the way! 316 00:38:37,255 --> 00:38:38,515 Move! 317 00:38:38,685 --> 00:38:40,345 I'll slap you to kingdom come! 318 00:38:40,725 --> 00:38:44,555 Look at those four-eyes carting around a coffin. 319 00:38:46,395 --> 00:38:47,885 What morons! 320 00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:52,255 Don't blame me for making you leave. 321 00:38:52,435 --> 00:38:56,495 We'll let Buddha decide... 322 00:38:56,975 --> 00:38:59,375 ...whether you stay... 323 00:38:59,545 --> 00:39:01,975 ...or go. 324 00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:07,875 HORRIFICALLY BAD FATE 325 00:39:19,865 --> 00:39:21,625 Have some tea. 326 00:39:28,905 --> 00:39:31,965 We're grateful for some professional help. 327 00:39:32,135 --> 00:39:35,805 We understand the problem. Twelve Kicks from the Tam School... 328 00:39:35,975 --> 00:39:40,975 ...Iron Fist from the Hung School and the Hexagon Staff... 329 00:39:41,545 --> 00:39:43,535 Those guys at Pig Sty are really good. 330 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,985 Their warrior days are long over... 331 00:39:46,485 --> 00:39:49,925 ...but they're still top fighters. 332 00:39:50,325 --> 00:39:55,155 This job is a great challenge for us. 333 00:39:55,495 --> 00:39:58,025 Now, that's professionalism. 334 00:39:58,195 --> 00:40:03,535 Number One Killers. Expensive, yes, but worth every penny! 335 00:40:03,705 --> 00:40:04,695 No! 336 00:40:04,875 --> 00:40:09,935 Number one is the Beast, the world's top killer. 337 00:40:10,415 --> 00:40:14,715 He was so dedicated to kung fu, he went crazy. 338 00:40:14,885 --> 00:40:18,185 I heard he's now in an asylum. 339 00:40:18,785 --> 00:40:22,085 So you're the top killers now. 340 00:40:22,255 --> 00:40:26,625 Strictly speaking, we're just musicians. 341 00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:31,695 {\i1}A song that wrenches the heart{\i0} {\i1}O where do I find a knowing ear? {\i0} 342 00:40:31,965 --> 00:40:36,365 Great poem, isn't it? 343 00:40:44,445 --> 00:40:45,965 We'll be saying goodbye soon. 344 00:40:46,145 --> 00:40:48,635 Who knows when we'll see each other again. 345 00:40:49,385 --> 00:40:53,585 We're three of a kind. Wish we'd known before. 346 00:40:53,755 --> 00:40:57,055 Let's take this opportunity to spar a little. 347 00:40:57,295 --> 00:41:00,655 No. We still have a lot to pack. 348 00:41:01,425 --> 00:41:03,155 You're right. 349 00:41:41,265 --> 00:41:44,605 Twelve Kicks of the Tam School! Superb attack and defense! 350 00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:47,635 Iron Fist: powerful yet delicate. Topnotch! 351 00:41:47,805 --> 00:41:51,105 Hexagon Staff, with its thousand moves. Mystical! 352 00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:53,915 Till we meet again! 353 00:42:03,595 --> 00:42:04,575 More lipstick! 354 00:42:23,975 --> 00:42:26,965 Stay there, or I'll break you in half. 355 00:43:50,895 --> 00:43:52,955 Sorry, we're closed. 356 00:43:53,135 --> 00:43:55,155 You can make a suit in no time. 357 00:43:55,335 --> 00:43:56,825 We're moving. 358 00:43:57,005 --> 00:43:58,835 This is good material! 359 00:43:59,505 --> 00:44:01,835 You know your stuff. 360 00:44:02,375 --> 00:44:04,535 This has high artistic value. 361 00:44:05,145 --> 00:44:06,475 How high? 362 00:44:06,915 --> 00:44:08,745 At least a few stories... 363 00:45:18,755 --> 00:45:20,985 Insulting the Axe Gang! We'll show them. 364 00:45:21,155 --> 00:45:24,315 Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel. 365 00:45:24,495 --> 00:45:26,485 Don't block my view! 366 00:46:16,045 --> 00:46:17,035 What's going on? 367 00:46:28,485 --> 00:46:29,615 Good! 368 00:46:29,795 --> 00:46:31,625 Don't block my view! 369 00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:39,965 Damn! I told those nitwits to leave, but they're still here. 370 00:46:40,135 --> 00:46:41,865 - Really? - Yeah. 371 00:47:05,425 --> 00:47:09,415 What the hell is this fighting? Who'll pay for the damage? 372 00:47:09,595 --> 00:47:11,585 Sorry, sorry. It's nothing! 373 00:48:52,265 --> 00:48:55,325 You know what time it is? I have to sleep. 374 00:48:56,465 --> 00:48:58,365 Hey, fatso, eat shit and die! 375 00:48:59,275 --> 00:49:00,765 Die? In this racket? 376 00:49:00,945 --> 00:49:02,965 Sorry, sorry! 377 00:49:05,275 --> 00:49:07,265 Get out of my way! 378 00:49:08,045 --> 00:49:09,775 Hang in there, Tailor. 379 00:49:18,755 --> 00:49:20,885 Be quiet! 380 00:49:26,135 --> 00:49:30,865 Give us a break! Why push us so far? 381 00:49:45,555 --> 00:49:46,745 There's another master? 382 00:52:13,865 --> 00:52:15,855 It's the Lion's Roar! 383 00:52:16,535 --> 00:52:18,365 I thought that was a myth. 384 00:52:19,575 --> 00:52:22,545 Who knew the Lion's Roar really exists? 385 00:52:22,705 --> 00:52:26,305 That's the last we'll see of them. 386 00:52:29,485 --> 00:52:31,815 It's bad, Brother Sum. Quick, start the car! 387 00:52:32,185 --> 00:52:33,815 Start the car! 388 00:52:40,565 --> 00:52:41,725 Boss! 389 00:52:41,895 --> 00:52:44,155 Keep it down! Have you no manners? 390 00:52:44,335 --> 00:52:46,735 Get lost. People are trying to sleep. 391 00:52:46,905 --> 00:52:49,865 They have to work tomorrow. Get out of here! 392 00:52:53,105 --> 00:52:54,735 Scumbags! 393 00:54:20,595 --> 00:54:23,615 I can't hang on much longer. 394 00:54:25,995 --> 00:54:29,865 But having seen real masters like you... 395 00:54:30,605 --> 00:54:32,665 ...I can now die in peace. 396 00:54:32,835 --> 00:54:34,775 Don't say that. 397 00:54:34,945 --> 00:54:37,875 We're ordinary folks. 398 00:54:38,045 --> 00:54:39,805 Ordinary's a blessing. 399 00:54:39,975 --> 00:54:43,435 Don't call us masters. 400 00:54:43,615 --> 00:54:45,515 But you're such great fighters! 401 00:54:45,685 --> 00:54:49,955 If only you'd helped earlier, they wouldn't have to die this way. 402 00:54:50,455 --> 00:54:54,625 Like Donut said, everyone has his reasons. 403 00:54:55,395 --> 00:54:57,125 Years ago... 404 00:54:57,635 --> 00:55:00,725 ...we saw our only son killed in a fight. 405 00:55:03,005 --> 00:55:05,665 Revenge can be devastating. 406 00:55:06,035 --> 00:55:08,205 Do you understand? 407 00:55:08,375 --> 00:55:11,465 Why don't you train us to be top fighters... 408 00:55:11,645 --> 00:55:14,635 ...and we'll avenge them! 409 00:55:14,985 --> 00:55:18,975 Becoming a top fighter takes time. 410 00:55:19,155 --> 00:55:21,715 Unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius. 411 00:55:21,885 --> 00:55:25,655 And they're one in a million. 412 00:55:33,235 --> 00:55:35,425 It's obvious I'm the one! 413 00:55:39,005 --> 00:55:41,205 Don't think so. 414 00:55:42,175 --> 00:55:47,545 Everyone! We swore we'd never fight again. 415 00:55:47,715 --> 00:55:50,115 But we broke that promise today. 416 00:55:50,285 --> 00:55:53,845 For your own safety, please all leave! 417 00:55:58,295 --> 00:56:01,855 In great power lies great responsibility. 418 00:56:02,365 --> 00:56:04,225 There's no escaping from it. 419 00:56:04,635 --> 00:56:07,195 Donut, you're hurt bad. 420 00:56:07,365 --> 00:56:08,925 Rest now. 421 00:56:13,875 --> 00:56:16,305 We can't understand what you're saying. 422 00:56:17,945 --> 00:56:19,035 Donut! 423 00:56:32,095 --> 00:56:34,085 I know you, four-eyes! 424 00:56:35,495 --> 00:56:40,095 You seem prejudiced against the sight-challenged. 425 00:56:40,265 --> 00:56:43,565 That's right. Especially gold-framed four-eyes. 426 00:56:47,805 --> 00:56:51,145 Gold frames are perfect for clerks. 427 00:56:51,315 --> 00:56:54,405 I think I look good. So why keep picking on me? 428 00:56:56,785 --> 00:56:57,775 Help me! 429 00:57:00,115 --> 00:57:03,355 "Help me! Help me!" Want to play, punks? 430 00:57:03,525 --> 00:57:05,355 The Dragon Style? The Tiger Style? 431 00:57:10,095 --> 00:57:14,535 Come down here, and I'll smash your glasses. Come on! 432 00:57:16,205 --> 00:57:18,435 You know I'd do it, right? 433 00:57:19,775 --> 00:57:21,105 Swear to it! 434 00:57:21,705 --> 00:57:23,035 Swear! 435 00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:30,175 Have you no respect? Where were you when I needed you? 436 00:57:31,955 --> 00:57:33,645 You sound like a wimp! 437 00:57:33,825 --> 00:57:36,985 We always get beat! We haven't gotten anywhere. 438 00:57:37,155 --> 00:57:40,885 No killing, no arson, no robberies, no rapes... 439 00:57:41,065 --> 00:57:43,625 ...all because of you! 440 00:57:43,795 --> 00:57:46,125 You're a numb-nut! 441 00:57:48,535 --> 00:57:49,865 Follow me! 442 00:57:58,545 --> 00:58:00,175 It's a stickup! Where's the money? 443 00:58:05,085 --> 00:58:07,275 Where's the money? 444 00:58:08,885 --> 00:58:11,015 What're you looking at? I'm serious! 445 00:58:15,965 --> 00:58:19,955 I kill people for less! Give me the money. 446 00:58:38,385 --> 00:58:40,045 The money's in here. 447 00:59:15,985 --> 00:59:17,815 Let go of the girl! 448 00:59:30,835 --> 00:59:35,505 He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers! 449 01:00:18,985 --> 01:00:22,385 Go away! You're dragging me down! 450 01:00:23,155 --> 01:00:28,255 Go home and raise pigs. 451 01:00:33,165 --> 01:00:34,655 Go, before I kill you. 452 01:01:23,485 --> 01:01:26,885 You! Whatsyourname! 453 01:01:35,965 --> 01:01:39,395 Take this and get some new clothes. You're now an Axe! 454 01:01:39,565 --> 01:01:43,395 - For real? - Someone's waiting for you. 455 01:01:50,305 --> 01:01:51,465 Brother Sum! 456 01:01:51,645 --> 01:01:56,135 One look at you, and I knew you'd do anything. 457 01:01:56,445 --> 01:01:57,435 Right! 458 01:01:57,615 --> 01:01:59,415 You just needed your chance. 459 01:02:00,185 --> 01:02:01,245 Damn right! 460 01:02:01,425 --> 01:02:03,085 We've an assignment for you. 461 01:02:03,255 --> 01:02:04,815 Anything, Brother Sum! 462 01:02:23,675 --> 01:02:26,665 "Research on abnormal people." What's that? 463 01:02:26,845 --> 01:02:28,645 A mental asylum. 464 01:02:34,385 --> 01:02:35,615 Soldiers! 465 01:02:35,785 --> 01:02:37,515 Boy Scouts! 466 01:02:37,695 --> 01:02:38,675 Tanks! 467 01:02:38,855 --> 01:02:40,825 No worries. 468 01:02:40,995 --> 01:02:44,625 When the Boy Scouts change shifts, you have exactly five minutes. 469 01:02:44,795 --> 01:02:48,735 Follow the arrows on the map. Go to the last cell... 470 01:02:48,905 --> 01:02:53,565 ...and get the man inside there out. Here's your tools. 471 01:02:59,475 --> 01:03:00,965 What about you guys? 472 01:03:01,145 --> 01:03:03,135 We're your lookouts. 473 01:03:14,495 --> 01:03:16,485 Five minutes. Hurry! 474 01:05:30,795 --> 01:05:35,635 The world's top killer indeed looks the part! 475 01:05:36,665 --> 01:05:39,005 It's only a title. 476 01:05:39,175 --> 01:05:42,625 Cut the bullshit. We want two people killed. Name your price. 477 01:05:43,175 --> 01:05:44,695 Name my what? 478 01:05:47,075 --> 01:05:52,345 I've killed so many trying to find a worthy adversary. 479 01:05:52,685 --> 01:05:55,985 So far, I've never found one. 480 01:05:56,325 --> 01:05:58,155 That's why I stayed inside. 481 01:05:58,325 --> 01:06:02,725 Had I met my match, I'd have been out long ago. 482 01:06:02,895 --> 01:06:05,365 If you find me a worthy opponent... 483 01:06:05,535 --> 01:06:07,825 ...I'll do it for free. No charge! 484 01:06:10,005 --> 01:06:11,165 Do you have someone? 485 01:06:11,335 --> 01:06:16,575 Yes. Brilliant fighters who are up to the challenge. 486 01:06:16,745 --> 01:06:19,075 But first, will you show us some moves? 487 01:06:19,245 --> 01:06:22,305 Not that we don't trust you. We want to see you in action. 488 01:06:22,685 --> 01:06:26,945 You numskulls aren't worthy! 489 01:06:31,455 --> 01:06:33,115 He doesn't look the part. 490 01:06:34,025 --> 01:06:39,225 The slippers are a little crappy. But he'll clean up well. 491 01:06:39,395 --> 01:06:41,295 You sure you got the right guy? 492 01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:44,805 Absolutely. I swear I did exactly what you told me. 493 01:06:46,105 --> 01:06:50,065 Please show us some moves, Mr. Beast. Don't make it hard for me! 494 01:06:50,245 --> 01:06:51,865 You dumb or what? 495 01:06:52,715 --> 01:06:54,705 You know what this is, old man? 496 01:06:55,145 --> 01:06:57,585 Ever seen a fist this big? 497 01:06:57,755 --> 01:07:00,875 Don't force me to fight. I scare myself when I fight! 498 01:07:01,055 --> 01:07:02,985 Really? Try me, then. 499 01:07:06,825 --> 01:07:08,985 Is he okay? 500 01:07:14,765 --> 01:07:17,325 So you say you can fight? 501 01:07:18,735 --> 01:07:19,725 Harder! 502 01:07:20,605 --> 01:07:21,595 Harder! 503 01:07:24,845 --> 01:07:26,175 Harder! 504 01:07:29,085 --> 01:07:32,575 You hit like that and call yourself a gangster? 505 01:07:37,555 --> 01:07:38,855 A foreign gun! 506 01:08:04,515 --> 01:08:09,855 In the world of kung fu, speed defines the winner. 507 01:08:13,955 --> 01:08:16,865 The Beast is the best of them all. 508 01:08:17,125 --> 01:08:20,795 The Axe Gang extends its respect! 509 01:09:02,575 --> 01:09:05,445 The real masters, together in one room! 510 01:09:06,545 --> 01:09:10,745 Only the world's top killer... 511 01:09:10,915 --> 01:09:13,115 ...has such an aura. 512 01:09:13,855 --> 01:09:15,085 Likewise. 513 01:09:15,685 --> 01:09:18,345 Could you two be the fated lovers...? 514 01:09:18,525 --> 01:09:19,515 Paris... 515 01:09:19,695 --> 01:09:20,785 ...and Helen of Troy! 516 01:09:21,595 --> 01:09:23,255 A pleasure, indeed. 517 01:09:23,525 --> 01:09:27,365 We're here to deal with the Axe Gang... 518 01:09:27,535 --> 01:09:29,265 ...and only the Axe Gang. 519 01:09:31,205 --> 01:09:34,035 You should've killed me before. 520 01:09:34,375 --> 01:09:38,815 Now you're committing suicide. 521 01:09:38,975 --> 01:09:42,315 You're living on borrowed time. 522 01:09:42,485 --> 01:09:45,475 You can't escape your fate! 523 01:09:46,215 --> 01:09:48,555 What's this? A funeral bell? 524 01:09:49,385 --> 01:09:52,725 With the Beast here, let's see whose funeral it is! 525 01:09:53,555 --> 01:09:55,285 So you're on their side? 526 01:09:55,465 --> 01:09:57,625 Don't get me wrong. 527 01:09:57,795 --> 01:10:01,395 I only want to kill you... 528 01:10:01,565 --> 01:10:04,465 ...or be killed by you. 529 01:10:06,975 --> 01:10:08,945 What do you think? 530 01:10:09,105 --> 01:10:14,445 The good cannot coexist with the bad. You can't escape your destiny. 531 01:10:15,085 --> 01:10:18,415 So be it. Let's do it. 532 01:10:19,415 --> 01:10:20,575 Okay. 533 01:10:22,125 --> 01:10:23,145 Let's do it! 534 01:10:43,275 --> 01:10:45,675 Piece of cake. I can handle this. 535 01:10:55,125 --> 01:10:57,985 Good try, but a little off target. 536 01:12:17,765 --> 01:12:19,435 The Lion's Roar? 537 01:15:00,295 --> 01:15:01,525 Wait! 538 01:15:02,705 --> 01:15:07,535 I didn't know the Lion's Roar could be done with a speaker! 539 01:15:07,705 --> 01:15:10,035 What a blow! 540 01:15:39,335 --> 01:15:42,675 - Looks like they're not up to it! - Let's get them while they're down. 541 01:15:42,845 --> 01:15:43,835 You do it! 542 01:15:44,005 --> 01:15:47,005 - I'm gonna puke! I need to see a doctor! - Go to hell! 543 01:15:51,445 --> 01:15:53,245 You! Come over here. 544 01:15:54,255 --> 01:15:56,415 - Hit him! - Yes! 545 01:16:00,855 --> 01:16:02,755 - The head! - Of course! 546 01:16:02,925 --> 01:16:04,655 - Hit him on the head! - Okay. 547 01:16:04,835 --> 01:16:06,625 - Here's your chance. - Got it! 548 01:16:06,795 --> 01:16:07,925 - Hit him! - Hit him! 549 01:16:08,095 --> 01:16:09,585 - Hit the shit out of him! - Right! 550 01:16:09,765 --> 01:16:11,035 - Hit him! - Hit him! 551 01:16:11,205 --> 01:16:12,965 Beat the shit out of him! 552 01:16:15,045 --> 01:16:16,025 What're you doing? 553 01:16:16,775 --> 01:16:19,715 You want me to hit him or beat the shit out of him? 554 01:16:19,875 --> 01:16:21,815 You're making me very confused! 555 01:16:50,145 --> 01:16:53,135 Wow, that's a big fist! 556 01:17:25,715 --> 01:17:27,105 Why did you hit me? 557 01:17:56,045 --> 01:17:59,375 Where are they? 558 01:17:59,715 --> 01:18:01,875 How could you let them escape? 559 01:18:07,985 --> 01:18:11,975 No one gets away from me! 560 01:18:25,635 --> 01:18:27,835 Why did he save us? 561 01:18:28,005 --> 01:18:31,105 Young people make mistakes. 562 01:18:31,445 --> 01:18:35,205 But at least he finally made good. 563 01:18:35,785 --> 01:18:39,475 Look at him! Beaten to a pulp. 564 01:18:42,225 --> 01:18:45,515 Do you have any last requests? 565 01:19:04,805 --> 01:19:07,715 Hey, wait! 566 01:19:08,075 --> 01:19:11,915 Why don't you write in Chinese? I don't understand. 567 01:20:08,275 --> 01:20:10,295 There's no one here! 568 01:20:15,085 --> 01:20:17,705 CHINESE MEDICINE 569 01:20:31,395 --> 01:20:34,385 It's a miracle he lasted this long. 570 01:20:35,065 --> 01:20:37,335 The herbs should help him. 571 01:20:37,565 --> 01:20:41,975 Herbal medicine can only partly help. The key is his own body structure. 572 01:20:42,145 --> 01:20:46,475 All his bones and tendons are broken. 573 01:20:46,645 --> 01:20:49,575 It's amazing he's recovering so fast. 574 01:20:50,085 --> 01:20:52,245 It can't be possible... 575 01:20:52,415 --> 01:20:53,975 Unless he's... 576 01:21:31,325 --> 01:21:32,845 What's that smell? 577 01:22:06,855 --> 01:22:08,845 You mustn't smoke while you're hurt. 578 01:22:10,325 --> 01:22:11,815 Let me handle this. 579 01:22:26,615 --> 01:22:28,075 This makes no sense. 580 01:22:39,725 --> 01:22:43,785 Who knew the Beast could clear the chi flow... 581 01:22:43,965 --> 01:22:46,525 ...and thus unleash the boy's true potential? 582 01:22:46,735 --> 01:22:49,635 We should've guessed. 583 01:22:50,865 --> 01:22:54,265 He is the one! 584 01:23:04,715 --> 01:23:06,655 Is this for real? 585 01:23:06,815 --> 01:23:09,375 You're still alive, you turncoat? 586 01:23:09,555 --> 01:23:11,955 Kill him, men! 587 01:24:06,815 --> 01:24:08,275 What kind of move is that? 588 01:24:08,615 --> 01:24:11,135 Kids' stuff! 589 01:24:39,045 --> 01:24:42,635 If our son were alive, he'd be his age now. 590 01:24:42,815 --> 01:24:48,155 If he studies hard, he could grow up to be a doctor or lawyer. 591 01:24:48,315 --> 01:24:51,155 A stuntman, more likely! 592 01:25:54,315 --> 01:25:55,875 Not bad. Let's go. 593 01:26:38,935 --> 01:26:40,985 I can even stop bullets... 594 01:27:51,365 --> 01:27:54,735 What? The Toad Style of the Kwan Lun School? 595 01:27:54,905 --> 01:27:56,105 Oh, no! 596 01:29:51,685 --> 01:29:55,625 Remember the Palm move that falls from heaven? 597 01:29:55,795 --> 01:29:58,955 That's the long lost Buddhist Palm. 598 01:30:43,275 --> 01:30:44,605 I surrender! 599 01:31:46,135 --> 01:31:47,575 What kind of move was that? 600 01:31:49,345 --> 01:31:51,505 If you want to learn, I'll teach you. 601 01:32:03,255 --> 01:32:04,585 Master! 602 01:33:18,425 --> 01:33:22,265 Hey! Tell him not to put snot on the glass. 603 01:33:22,435 --> 01:33:25,025 You two, put your pants on! 604 01:33:25,205 --> 01:33:27,865 No licking if you're not buying! 605 01:34:34,235 --> 01:34:38,835 Kid, you have the bone structure of a kung-fu genius. 606 01:34:39,005 --> 01:34:42,805 World peace is in your hands. Here's the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. 607 01:34:42,985 --> 01:34:45,575 Because it's fate, I'll let you have it for $ 10. 608 01:34:45,745 --> 01:34:46,805 Wait! 609 01:34:47,255 --> 01:34:49,655 You want more...?