- So if you want to carry the Taser,
you got... Stop.
- Get tased.
- You gotta get tasered.
- You got to get...
I thought we'd do that better. Get tased.
- Oh, OK.
What do you want us to say?
Do it like, like it was exciting, like it's a game show.
- What do you say when--
- You say, you're... ...you got to get tasered,
but like a...
- Is "got to get tased" cultural appropriation?
- Three times. - That... Did that feel black?
- A little bit. - Yeah.
But I was cool, I was cool. I You're cool with it? OK.
So if you wanna get the taser, you gotta get tasered, here we go, Garcia.
Einz, zwei, do re mi. - Gotcha.
- Foon.
- Good morning. Today, October 12th, used to known as Colombus Day.
But I'm proud to announce from this day forth,
today will be known as Indigenous People's Day.
And now I'm told that the Reno Sheriff's Department has prepared
a presentation to kick off Indigenous People's Day.
- How!
- Good morning! Aloha! Buenos dias! Today we make big Oompa Loompa Pow-Wow
for Indigenous People's Day.
- We the proud people who lived and fished on the banks of Lake Tahoe
now take you back with the magical sound of the tom-tom,
back in time to win the wise and mighty red man
owned the great West.
- We are dem Washoe!
The people of the wow!
The people of the lake.
- We live in peace
for thousands of years.
Wikipedia say we speakum a hookum.
- Hey, lasagna...
♪ For a heap many moons ♪
♪ We are them people of dark-ha-wow ♪
♪ We no make 'em war ♪
♪ 'Cause we no know-how Oh, great bird spirit ♪
♪ Look down on them Washoe! ♪
- Caw-caw.
- ♪ In the nets fish get caught ♪
♪ And give us he pine nuts ♪
For heap many spell of moons,
shall brave Washoe and squaw
live in valley making only love.
Hey...
Oooh! Oooh! - Hey, hey.
Shut up your face. - Caw.
- Shut up. - Stop making love and living in peace.
And eating the pine nuts. Caw.
- We come-a from across the sea
to give the simple, proud Washoe
small pox on these blankets.
- Also, we kill all the proud Washoe braves
and take-a the women by force. - That's right.
- Oh, the hell you don't. Aah.
- This is not accurate.
- Well...
Lunch time.
Sheriff's Department.
Oh! Hello. Whoa. -
Hey, bud! Wow!
Morning. Mike.
- Hey.
- Is this your place, Mike? - Ooh.
Yes. Welcome to my new place. Yeah.
- It has a very strange...
- Yeah. ...a question?
- You called 911?
- It could... It could have been, uh, the... De... Dennis.
- Dennis. Dentist.
- Is that the guy in the bear suit? Dennis?
- No. I... I... I don't know him, or her.
Thank you for being sexist.
- Me-too'd. - You said his name was Dennis.
- Welcome to cancel culture.
- It could be a female... bear. - Don't, don't.
- Mike, think back and tell us, can you remember anything?
- Why we should stay here?
- I was concerned about a bottom. A nude bottom.
- Oh. - Oh.
Oh, Jesus. - You don't know this guy?
I don't know that bottom,
and I don't know where that dirty bottom came from.
Hello? - You don't know this gentleman?
So you called 911? - It's, well, I call him Dennis.
Dennis? - Sir?
- Dennis? - Sir, is your name Dennis?
Dennis!
- You want to turn around here and... -
- I've been yelling.
- I think he's French. - Dangle?
- I'd know that anywhere.
Jim, it's not you, is it?
- No. And here's why.
Oh!
And here's why. Yeah.
- Can I have a moment, please? - Yeah.
- We are judging you though, that's all.
- Oh! Because I'm the only grown man in this room
who ever got himself...
Winnie the Poohed in a glory hole.
I'm not on trial here.
No. No.
- This is... I thought this was America the last time I checked.
- It is America the last time he checked.
- Do you want us to get your dick out of the door?
Or... Or what's going on. All right. - Turn your back.
One, two!
- I have a question.
- Cherisha? - Is your member tumescent?
- Sorry? - At this moment?
What? What's the word now?
- Is your dick hard?
- Do you think my softy got stuck?
- Well, let's see if we can jimmy it.
- - Oh! Oh! Oh!
OK. - Oh! Oh!
All right. - Careful.
OK. One, two, three!
- All right, all right, all right, all right, we're good, we're good.
All right. - Just a little bit. Just a little bit.
We got it. We got it. We got it. - Oh, God!
- We got it. All right. - Jim, get your fingers outdoor...
The bummer is that this is the second time this has happened.
Oh, come on.