1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:03,837 Shall we pray? 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,967 Oh, Lord, Jesus, God. 3 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,220 As, as Barbara said in Corinthians 16:12, 4 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:15,682 "Come onst to me, Jesus. But not in the eye." 5 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,726 I love you, Lord Jesus. 6 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:21,521 I ask you to give these fine officers of the law... 7 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:25,191 an open mind, Lord, so they can 8 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:29,320 see the light in the pitch which I'm about to bestow onto them. 9 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:31,740 Amen. - Amen. 10 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,742 - OK. - Amen. 11 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,827 - Um... So everybody remembers the Reverend Gigg LeCarp? 12 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,204 I should have introduced him, that was just weird. 13 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,419 Now, God has asked me to bring to Reno... 14 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,003 Mmm-hmm. 15 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,050 - ...a Christian water park! Hallelujah! 16 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,342 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah! 17 00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:54,846 - We could have a ten-story high water-slide. 18 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:56,723 - All right? And we'll call it... 19 00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,477 "Beelzebub's Water-fall From Grace." 20 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,521 The kids will love it. 21 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,356 - Petting zoo. Two by two in the petting zoo. 22 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,817 - There you go. - Yeah! Two by two in the petting zoo. 23 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,861 - Oh, and then you can have an area where you can pit-- 24 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:12,447 For a dollar, you can get a stone and throw it at people. 25 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,741 - Oh, this is all good! And for the adults, late at night, 26 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,994 when the kids go to bed, it could be a heavy petting zoo. 27 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,829 - What was that thing where that man made all them people drink that Kool-Aid? 28 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,664 Huh? 29 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:25,043 And then people laid down on the ground-- - I believe his name was Jim Jefferies. 30 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,087 Remember when Jim Jefferies got all those people-- 31 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,588 Yeah, so that's... Ned, the Jello shots. 32 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,507 You're sure it was Jim Jefferies? 33 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,884 - You know how I know? Because I signed up to go there and they left without me. 34 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,053 - Hey, Gigg. 35 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:38,473 What is the swimsuit policy at the whole park? 36 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:39,933 - Adam and Eve it! 37 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,351 - Boom. That's exactly what I was getting at. 38 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,061 - Adam and Eve, Garden of Eden. 39 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,397 - A nude Christian water park? Now you're talking! 40 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,274 - Just to keep it exciting, once you're there, 41 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,985 once a day, sirens go off, 42 00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,196 and it's like, plague, plague-- And then... 43 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,033 wave pool and some people don't make it out. 44 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,368 - Oh, I love that. - So, you don't know-- 45 00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,828 - I love that, and the floating around-- 46 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,163 - I feel like that and the Kool-Aid idea, are an insurance... 47 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:04,415 - That's just dead bodies. 48 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:07,794 - Can we have a rib place? To get barbecue ribs, but it's all like Adam, 49 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,380 and all the waiters that have t-shirts with a hole in it-- 50 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,424 With a hole in it, bloody blood, kind of, blood... 51 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:15,468 - And then hookers could wash Yeah. 52 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,846 I like that idea. - This gets better and better. 53 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,430 - Can I say one thing that's weird? 54 00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:22,392 The only thing that Reno has already four of 55 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,560 are places where hookers wash your feet. - Hookers wash your feet. 56 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,979 - That's true. That's true. - Yeah. 57 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,730 See I was thinking and I truly believe... 58 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,440 - OK. Yeah. - ...since God wants this to happen, 59 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,943 that if we all work together, 60 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,362 we work together... - Uh-huh. OK. 61 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:37,407 - ...we could raise enough money, to make this a reality. 62 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,032 Right? That make sense? - By doing what? 63 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,120 - We, we... - Yes? 64 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,247 - ...have a retirement plan. - OK. 65 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,874 - And lately it's been getting its ass kicked. 66 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,335 I'm saying if we all agreed 67 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,004 to collectively... 68 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,758 put our retirement money into something that seems like an amazing idea-- 69 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,468 - This seems like a no-brainer. - Seems like a no-brainer. 70 00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:58,845 This is better. - No-brainer. 71 00:02:58,845 --> 00:02:59,804 I didn't even know I No-brainer, no-brainer. 72 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,890 - If you lose the money gambling, 73 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:05,018 the best thing to do is keep Double down. 74 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,437 - You'd be guaranteed a percentage. - A percentage? 75 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,148 - I'm listening. - It would go like this. 76 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,566 - Wow. - Go up like that. 77 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,484 - Yeah, like a... pyramid. 78 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,236 - If you in, raise your hands. 79 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,780 - I'll hand you my social security right now. 80 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,699 - I say fuck that, I'm gonna give you my whole house right now. 81 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:20,450 All of it. - I love it. 82 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,663 - Sheriff's department. He was absolutely... 83 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:31,461 I feel sad for you. You can't let your son actually fail in something. 84 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,963 - Hey, hey, hey. Inside, boys. - I'm sad for you. They have to step in, 85 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,217 and try to disagree with him... - Time out. 86 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,260 All right, everybody calm down. 87 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,429 Who had the last-- - Your son clearly was out. 88 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,389 - Do you know how crazy you look right now? 89 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:44,807 - Oh, I look crazy? - Yes. 90 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,184 - Oh, you wanna see me get crazy? 91 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,979 - Well, I guess we all have the potential for crazy. 92 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,232 - OK. Ahh! 93 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,985 - Your kid is bad at baseball. Just admit it. 94 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,904 - Now you've done it. - All right, that's it. OK. All right. 95 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:00,990 Put it down. You put it down. Everybody calm down. 96 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,576 - Calm down. You put it down. 97 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,328 - Calm down, everybody. Oh, you got two? 98 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:06,996 I got two, too. - Are we doing this? 99 00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:07,622 - We can do that. - We are not doing this. 100 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:09,707 - All right, everybody calm down. 101 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,334 - OK. - Everybody's got a permit, right? 102 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,211 - Of course. - Oh, yes. 103 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,462 Not irresponsible. Yeah. 104 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,129 - Let's see 'em. - Permit? 105 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,423 - Left titty, man. It's right there. 106 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,967 - No. Good. Good. He's good. 107 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,595 - All right, everybody's good. - It's a very old picture, ma'am. 108 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,514 - All right, but it's still good. 109 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,932 - No, I didn't say it wasn't good. I just said it was an old picture. 110 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,350 - OK. Thank you. - OK, so everybody's good. 111 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,394 Let's just take a big cleansing breath, OK? 112 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,645 - All right. 113 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,189 - Out through the mouth. 114 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:35,608 - And one more time in through the nose. 115 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,445 - And a dragon breath, where you put the tongue out and go like... 116 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,905 Ahh! 117 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,994 - Fifteen second arm rest? - Yes, please. 118 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,996 - Oh, my God, yeah, thank you. - My back hurts. 119 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,665 - Oh, my God, and my-- Burning. 120 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,458 - It's like the blood just... - Yeah. 121 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,168 - My forearms are burning. 122 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,713 - OK. And in three... two and, we're good. - All right. 123 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,672 - Back up there. Back up there. Yeah. - We good? 124 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,960 - [knocking on door over the phone] - Fuck! 125 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:36,461 Ow! 126 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:47,096 ♪ Jim Dangle Jim Dangle ♪ 127 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,807 ♪ If you're coming to Nevada To see the Silver State ♪ 128 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:52,393 ♪ Remember weed is legal And smoking it feels great ♪ 129 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:55,021 ♪ If you're gonna have some fun Like Bob Marley when he wailed ♪ 130 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,523 ♪ But here's a couple of pointers To keep from getting jailed ♪ 131 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,820 ♪ You must be 21 One ounce is fine ♪ 132 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:05,198 ♪ More than eights of concentrate You'll be doing time 133 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,453 ♪ You can have pot in your car If it's sealed in a container ♪ 134 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,580 ♪ But don't smoke in a casino 'Cause that part's a no-brainer ♪ 135 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,376 ♪ So come see the Silver State ♪ 136 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,169 ♪ We've got the things That you've been missing ♪ 137 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:22,298 ♪ And you don't need any paperwork Unless you're going fishing ♪ 138 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,597 - Seriously, don't fish without a license. Visit Nevada State Department of Wildlife 139 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:33,434 at www.ndow.com for your mandatory fishing permit. 140 00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:34,560 - And don't fucking do it.