1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,585 - JIM: The squirrels in the ducts are still there. 2 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:04,671 - I hear 'em. - Uh-huh. 3 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:09,384 - I feel like they're staring to... 4 00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:14,097 you know, the one with the... I feel... 5 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,598 No one thinks that it sounds a little bit like, 6 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,683 a tiny bit like they're singing? 7 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:18,893 At all? 8 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,315 They're not words but, you know... 9 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:26,693 - It's-- Yeah, I know what you mean. - They're not singing. I'm not crazy. 10 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,528 - What do you hear them singing, Jim? 11 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,447 - I don't... See, I knew you're gonna be-- 12 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,990 Everybody's gonna be dicks. 13 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,827 I don't think the squirrels in the ducts are singing "words." 14 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,913 They're not... They're not Marvin Hamlisch. 15 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:43,251 - Maybe, just maybe... you need to take a break. 16 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:48,048 You've been here for a long, damn time and maybe you need to just take a break. 17 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,675 - There's a spa, you know, outside of Primm... 18 00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:52,552 - JONES: Yeah. - ...that's very nice. 19 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,220 - Are you guys doing Of Mice and Men 20 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,930 where you lead me out to Primm and then you shoot me in the head? 21 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:57,098 - No! - TRAVIS: No! 22 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,600 - God damn it. - TRAVIS: You can Google it. 23 00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,893 There's a very nice kind of a... - JAMES: Yeah. 24 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,936 - ...like a spa thing... 25 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:04,397 - Why is everybody so excited for me to go to Primm? 26 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,815 What's going on? - TRAVIS: We're not excited. 27 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,067 - We're worried about you. - We just think you need a break. 28 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,943 You just said that the squirrels were singing. 29 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,988 - Not words! They're not making words! 30 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:13,656 I didn't say they were making words! 31 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,660 - Jim, go to Primm. 32 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,662 - Yeah, yeah, I'll go to Primm. - I think we all could use a break. 33 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:20,997 - I'll go to Primm. 34 00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:22,540 - Oh, I hear 'em singing. - See? 35 00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:32,008 - Hey! I'm in a limo... sort of car. 36 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,301 Hi! - Hey! 37 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,845 - Just twerking in a limo. 38 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,972 Twerking in a limo. 39 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,265 - Don't hate. - Don't hate. 40 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:39,891 That's not safe, Jim. 41 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,060 [singing like chickens] 42 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:56,116 Do I have taffy in my teeth? 43 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,408 - Yes. - Oh, my god. 44 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,785 - Quite a bit. I can't... - Well, get it. 45 00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,536 - Guys, guys, guys. 46 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,997 - Cut that shit out. You want a bullet in my head? 47 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:03,873 - No, sir. - No, sir. Sorry, sir. 48 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,294 - Decoy is called "Disco Duck," all right? 49 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,046 - So it's not the real one. - It's not the real Bernie. 50 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:12,465 We're gonna take the real Bernie offstage. 51 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,134 - Okay. - Through the back. 52 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,303 You're gonna take the Disco Duck through the front 53 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:19,305 so everybody can see him, cause a distraction. 54 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,181 You understand? - Yes, sir. 55 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,686 - That guy was cool. - That guy was so fucking cool. 56 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,104 - So fucking cool, man. - Wow! 57 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,691 - Disco Duck. 58 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,650 - Oh, my gosh! - Wow! 59 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,903 - How're you doin'? - You're not... 60 00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:36,072 - Pleasure to meet you, "Bernie." 61 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,448 - All right, your country depends on you. 62 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:38,533 - Check. - All right. 63 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,285 -Neat, neat. - Wow. 64 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,954 - Hey. How are you guys? - [door slams] 65 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,789 - JIM: So we can talk to you, really? 66 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:45,999 - Yeah, of course you can. -Okay. 67 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,168 - I'm just a guy... - Oh, god. It just felt weird. 68 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,711 - I'm just an actor from LA. Just a guy. 69 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,129 - Wow! - That's... Wow! 70 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,965 - Wow! - I thought I recognized you. 71 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,884 - I don't know if you're fans of Hogan's Heroes? 72 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,094 - Who isn't? Come on. No. - Uh... 73 00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:01,389 I was an extra a lot on that show. 74 00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:03,600 - That's where I've seen you. - Yeah. 75 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,729 I got to be really good friends with one Robert Crane. 76 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,022 - [both] Oh. 77 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,106 - Wow! - What a great guy... 78 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,649 - Wow. - Yeah. 79 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:14,360 If you know anything about-- - I don't, but I heard... 80 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,070 I mean, he seems amazing. - He was so... 81 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,031 I wondered what happened to him 'cause he was so... 82 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,576 - Handsome. So handsome. - He got killed by a good friend of his. 83 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:25,079 - Oh. Me, him and Schultz, right? 84 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,122 - Oh, Schultz? - You know the Sergeant? 85 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:27,332 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 86 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,709 "No, no, no! No one is saying..." 87 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,295 - We used to gallivant around Sunset Boulevard. 88 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,755 - JIM: No. - TRAVIS: Wow! 89 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,049 - JIM: Wow! - Having so much sex. 90 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:40,178 No, I'm talking about just blowjob... - [humming] 91 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:42,889 Hey, you guys like to party? 92 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,433 - You guys like to party a little bit? - Uh... 93 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,392 - Oh, heck. 94 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,729 - I am gonna look up for a second. - We're gonna look that way. 95 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,609 - JACKIE: Yeah. - Oh. There she is. 96 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,486 - JACK: Yeah! - JONES: Okay. 97 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,571 - JACK: Hello. - No, thank you. 98 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,574 If I say "no, thank you"... 99 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,327 Hold my call. Hello. 100 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:05,954 This is Jackie. Yes. 101 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,164 - You don't get service. - Shh. Shut the... 102 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,707 - Hey, you gotta pick this stuff up. 103 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,709 - You have to pick it all up, how 'bout that? 104 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,169 - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Come on! 105 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,880 - Now you have to pick it all up. - JONES: No. No. No, Jackie. 106 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,466 - JACKIE: Don't touch! That's my stuff. - JAMES: What are they? 107 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,468 - Poussin, smartass. What do you think this is? 108 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,470 It's used condoms and teeth in the bottom of the baggy. 109 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,763 Everybody's got those. 110 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,682 - Jackie, please come with us. 111 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,225 - We don't wanna touch you. - You think I don't... 112 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,643 - Please, come on. Just... 113 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,104 - That came out of my nose. - Oh, man! 114 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,731 - JACKIE: This happened again. - Let's do a thing. 115 00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,900 Just follow... follow me. - Okay. 116 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,153 - Hey, the two of us would like to, uh... 117 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:42,407 to, uh, uh, obtain your services, so... 118 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,701 - But we want to do it... Yeah. -...in the car. 119 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,453 - God damn, I haven't even had breakfast yet. 120 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,038 Well, let me first make sure I'm not pregnant. 121 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,208 - What're you doing? Oh, don't! No, don't pee! 122 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,585 -JACKIE: Hold on! It's for your own good. You want to fuckin'... 123 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,045 You want to pay alimony for the rest of the year? 124 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,923 - JACK: That would be the least of my worries, that you're pregnant... 125 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,384 - I'm checking it. I'm checking it. - JACK: She just peed... 126 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,845 - No, we're good. Where do you want it? 127 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:04,762 - In the car. - Yeah. 128 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:05,763 - In the butt? - Yeah. 129 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:07,348 Oh. 130 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,642 - But, yes. But in the car. - Okay. 131 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,644 - Come on. - I don't feel like it! 132 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,021 - Let's go. - What kind of party can we have 133 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,481 with a laxative and some petroleum jelly? 134 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,191 It's nice in here. - JACK: Yeah, there you go. 135 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,151 - JACKIE: Okay. - Put that up. 136 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,694 - Okay. - JACKIE: Help. 137 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,195 JACKIE: Oh, I'm shitting. 138 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,406 - JACK: You said you're shitting? - JACKIE: No! 139 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,997 - JIM: I'm gonna look over here. - Oh, what! 140 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,249 - How did you get the decoy work? 141 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,001 - I've done decoy work before. 142 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:38,796 I did Biden when he was VP. - You did Biden? 143 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:42,216 - I've done the late Joe McCarthy who ran the blacklist... 144 00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:43,551 - Wonderful guy. 145 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,636 - Okay, guys. 146 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,472 Thirty seconds to Disco Duck. - Thank God. 147 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,098 - Okay. - He's really with you, right? 148 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:50,391 - Twenty-five seconds. 149 00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,185 - Look, I'm gonna take a little hit... 150 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,644 - JIM: I'm gonna look the other way. - Before we go... 151 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:55,438 - Ten seconds to Disco Duck! - Yes, sir. 152 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,272 - Okay. - Here we go. 153 00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:58,983 - You kinda have some... - Here, here, here. 154 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,151 - You sure you're good? 'Cause that was kind of a lot. Okay. 155 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:02,945 Here we go. Here he is, everybody. 156 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,282 - TRAVIS: Just move him. Just move him. - That's him. 157 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:09,285 Nothing to see here. 158 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,245 - I am the real Bernie. 159 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,163 - That's him. - CROWD: Bernie! 160 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:16,042 - JIM: That's him. - I am the real Bernie. 161 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,337 - MAN: Shit. Shit! 162 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,839 Can we get him in? 163 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:22,256 - TRAVIS: He's fine! - Shit. 164 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,177 - JIM: Oh, my god! 165 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,721 - TRAVIS: You got the EpiPen or anything? He's not breathing. 166 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,598 [siren wailing] 167 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,017 - Oh, he's dead. - Oh, god! 168 00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:35,144 - We were in a car with a dead guy. - He's dead, he's dead. What do we do? 169 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,688 - We're in so much trouble. - We just call the Secret Service. 170 00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,023 What do we do? What do we do? - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Check it out. 171 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,817 Check it out. Check it out. - That's me. 172 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,318 - Oh, my god. - That's you! 173 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,736 - Hey, we're on the news! Look at that! - We're on TV! 174 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,612 - Wow! - Wow! 175 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:46,697 We're also on this one. 176 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:48,950 Oh, uh-oh. 177 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,576 - Oh, Honolulu. - Whoo! Neat. 178 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:57,166 "Bernie Sanders collapses dead in the Reno-Sparks Convention Center." 179 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,170 - Let's dump him. Let's just dump him. 180 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,505 Let's just push him out of the car. 181 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,507 - We're in Sparks now, a little bit. 182 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,427 If Sparks SD finds a body? - Not our problem. 183 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,511 - With my fingerprints? - Oh, fuck. 184 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:10,805 - Sorry, sir. 185 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,017 - All right, I got it. I'll hold on to it. I'll hold on to it. 186 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,269 I'll put it in evidence. - Okay. 187 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,478 - Somebody know what these are? - Uh... 188 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,273 Watch him. - Yeah. No, no, no, I take these. 189 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,899 - Yeah. - Yeah, I take these. 190 00:07:21,899 --> 00:07:24,110 - Those are like mama's little helpers. - Those are mama's little helpers. 191 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,696 - Never doing that. - Pulled these off of him earlier. 192 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,531 - These will help carry him. If we're gonna... 193 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,074 - JIM: We're gonna carry him. 194 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,243 - If we're gonna carry him 40 feet, I'm just sayin'. 195 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:32,952 - JIM: Sorry. 196 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,083 - Okay. Yeah, let's do it. - Whoo! 197 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,132 - Hi! - CROWD: Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 198 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:53,097 Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 199 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,140 - JIM: Go, go, go, go, go! 200 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,310 Holy shit, Susan Sarandon!