1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,795 - OK, Gary, so why don't you tell me what happened? 2 00:00:03,795 --> 00:00:05,797 - I'm being prejudiced against is what's happened. 3 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,924 People are seeing a simple white man and they're going, 4 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:09,759 "Oh, I'm black. I think I'm better than you." 5 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,429 "Oh, I'm a proud gay." 6 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,057 "I'ma make sure a white man's rights are taken away." 7 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,435 - So... - Just because I'm... Ow! 8 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,646 - ...you called me because you feel like your feelings have been hurt? 9 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,190 - Did you not see that? My rights are being taken away right now! 10 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,151 There are people coming up and saying, 11 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,695 "Oh, just because I'm transgender, I'm special. I have--" 12 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:34,075 - No, that's not a crime. Uh-- - Judaism is a plague! 13 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,202 It's coming across and making sure that everybody wants-- 14 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,583 - OK, Gary, listen, has any kind of crime-- 15 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,918 I'm just hearing that your feelings are hurt. 16 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,296 - My feelings are not hurt. My land is being taken away on a daily-- 17 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,756 Oh! 18 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,425 - So someone stole land from you, is this what I'm hearing? 19 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:55,513 You can't hold that in your hand so I can't really call that a theft. 20 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:57,182 - They're gonna steal away the election. 21 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,558 They're gonna steal away the White House. 22 00:00:58,558 --> 00:00:59,350 They're gonna make sure-- 23 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,937 I can identify that one. - Mmm-hmm. 24 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:04,022 - They're taking away my right to free speech. 25 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,609 - That's fucked up, Gary. That, I don't agree with. 26 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:08,651 - Ow! 27 00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:16,743 I personally don't love this idea of us shooting a white guy 28 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,702 to make us look better. 29 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,956 Mostly because I'm the one who has to do all the paperwork 30 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:23,625 any time someone discharges their weapon. 31 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,586 And I got a lot of shit to do this week. 32 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,090 Um... 33 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,382 Pardon my French but... 34 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:36,012 this butthole isn't gonna wax itself. 35 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:38,890 - Hey, uh, do me a favor, if you notice a white guy that I miss, let me know. 36 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,811 I tend to ignore the white guys 'cause, usually, they're not a problem. 37 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,645 I never said that. 38 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,148 - ♪ Looking for a white guy to shoot! ♪ 39 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,567 ♪ Looking for a... white guy. ♪ 40 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,861 ...Shit! 41 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:56,991 Oh, this is it. 42 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,535 This it right here. Yep. 43 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,037 You know these guys are unarmed, and they couldn't be any whiter. 44 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:01,996 One for you, one for me. 45 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,083 This place is awful. 46 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,376 Hey, guys. Mornin'. 47 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,961 - Hi, officer. - Hi, officers. 48 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,465 - I wouldn't mind talking to you about, uh... The Book of Mormon. 49 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,217 - Sure. - OK. 50 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,845 - I'm sorry. Do you mind just taking your hand off the gun for a second? 51 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,388 - Oh? - It just makes me really nervous. 52 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,931 - I'm nervous, too. - I wasn't even noticing. 53 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,975 - It's just instinct, you know. - Yeah. 54 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,769 - We just truly wanna take about faith. - Sure. Yeah. 55 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:29,149 - I'm a, uh, woman of deep faith but I've been shopping around for a new one. 56 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,568 - Elder, Elder, we have to get back. - We're just-- 57 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,278 - Well, just stay close to me... -Yeah. 58 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:36,322 - Answer any questions I might have? You know what I'm saying? 59 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,283 - Elder? - We're on a mission-- 60 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,160 - Elder, go! Go, go, go! - We just wanna talk to you, come on! 61 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,870 You don't need to... Now, look! 62 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,913 Take a shot! Take a shot! Oh, Jesus! 63 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,834 Take a-- What? Declan! 64 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,211 - Go, go, get 'em! - Jesus! Take a shot, you got 'em! 65 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,588 - You do it! - You do it! 66 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,089 - I can't move! - I'm not gonna-- 67 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,762 Hey, followers! It's Trudy Wiegel here... 68 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,558 with Trudy Trending Tip 6,428. 69 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,394 Ding! 70 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,898 I'm gonna show you how you can do some beauty stuff on a budget. 71 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,485 So today we're gonna talk about getting rid of unwanted body hair. 72 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,364 So what I figured out was, 73 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,909 if you just go to your local hardware store 74 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,119 and pick up just your standard rat glue trap... 75 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:25,747 you can do your own waxing at home. 76 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,126 Or if you have a gently used one in your garage, 77 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:30,835 that's probably OK, too. 78 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,048 So it's really pretty self-explanatory... 79 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:39,761 you got some unwanted hair and you got a rat glue trap. 80 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,431 Um... I probably don't have to talk you through this but... 81 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:44,974 uh... 82 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,018 I will. 83 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:49,938 So, uh... 84 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:52,982 I just... 85 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,820 I mean, I haven't tried this before but I'm just gonna count. 86 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,531 One... two... 87 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:02,492 - - Ah! 88 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:04,619 Fuck! 89 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:06,746 Fuck me! 90 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,419 - Responding to a call from Gary. 91 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,171 What? Gary is like a... - He's a racist. 92 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,508 - Well, yeah... Proud... Proud boy. - Rally organizer. 93 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,927 - ...come on, guys! 94 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,136 - Oh, they're cool, fellows. It's cool. 95 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,014 - Thank you for coming. Hey, DJ. 96 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,685 - So what happens when you call 911, Gary? 97 00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,020 - A little bird told me you all are looking to... 98 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:34,565 shoot somebody? 99 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,943 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey! 100 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,987 Hey! 101 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,321 - What if I told you... Mmm-hmm? 102 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,910 - I want you to shoot... moi? 103 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:51,082 - Why do you want us to shoot you? 104 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,543 - You guys shoot a white man. - Yeah, yeah. 105 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,004 - And now all of a sudden, 106 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,840 the Reno Sheriff's Department shoots everybody. 107 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,384 Black people aren't victimized... 108 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,304 they're just one of many victims that we terrorize. 109 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,888 - They're one of-- 110 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,725 They just happen to be the vast majority but not exclusively. 111 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:11,144 - Not exclusively. Not exclusively. - Not exclusively. 112 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,688 - We're equal opportunity shooters. - Yes, yes. 113 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,648 - I don't hate this idea. - We're the same, you and me. 114 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:18,943 We're the same. - OK. Stop! 115 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:20,445 You get what you want 116 00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:23,489 and then I'm the Crispus Attucks of the new Civil War. 117 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,159 - Who is that? Remind me who that is? - You know Crispus Attucks. 118 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,619 - Is that the guy with the bindle who planted all the seeds? 119 00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,913 Who's the guy-- what are the three sounds of the breakfast cereal, guys? 120 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,207 - Snap. - Crackle. 121 00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:35,335 - Snap, Crackle and Crispus? - No, that's that not them. 122 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,421 Are you seriously thinking that one of our Black founders 123 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,423 is a guy on a cereal? 124 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,132 - Snap, Crackle and Pop couldn't be black? 125 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,593 - We need to get on the same page. - None of our cereal people 126 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,887 are black, OK? 127 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,096 None of them are people of color. - BS! 128 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,308 - What about Count Chocula? - What about Count Chocula? 129 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,226 - Count Chocula's not black! 130 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:55,104 - He is. - His name is chocolate... la. 131 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,148 - I'm gonna talk to some black people. 132 00:05:57,148 --> 00:06:00,985 - So you want us to shoot you on purpose? 133 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,904 - Yeah. But non-lethally. 134 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,573 Just in a way that it sends an entire... 135 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,700 - By the way, I apologize. You're right. 136 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:08,368 Count Chocula is... He's black. Count Chocula's black. 137 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:16,751 Did you get him? 138 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,337 Did he do it? Did you get him? 139 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,963 -- No! -Shit! I can't see from here. 140 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:21,672 - Hold still. 141 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,091 You ready? 142 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,219 Gary, hold still. - 143 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:26,928 Relax. 144 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,348 - Bend your knees, junior. 145 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,682 Gary, close your eyes. You're freaking him out. 146 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,020 Oh, he got him now. 147 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:36,938 - Watch for ricochet now. - Hold still! 148 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:37,980 - Hey, Gary! You forgot your candy bar. 149 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,565 - - Ow! 150 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,026 - Oh, god damn it! 151 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,070 - Sorry. 152 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,280 - Somebody's gotta suck that out. Let me suck it out. 153 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,116 - No. - Let me suck it out. I gotta suck it out. 154 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,201 ♪ I gotta suck it out, suck it out! ♪ - No, no, no! 155 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,244 No, no, no! - I gonna suck it out. 156 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,912 - Jim, don't do that. 157 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,207 I... I haven't been tested, dude. - Hmm! 158 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,460 - Ah! 159 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,462 - You know what's funny, 'cause I used to say 160 00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:04,507 that the Boy Scouts mostly traumatized me with some of the... you know. 161 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,967 - I got this. 162 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:08,469 - Some of the super weird gay stuff that happened to me. 163 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:09,053 - Jim, let me get this. - I got it.