1 00:00:00,709 --> 00:00:02,919 - Welcome to the distant future. [chuckles] 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:07,757 This is pretty neat because the state of Nevada has given us... 3 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,304 rented us a virtual reality system, which is for training purposes. 4 00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:16,641 You can be in... Travis, where are you now? 5 00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:19,144 - Yeah, it's not just a target range. It's like a... 6 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,896 like an inner city neighborhood. 7 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,774 - That's a good question. Is there hail or snow or anything? 8 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,151 - Across the street, I'm going into the bank. 9 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:33,491 - Shit! Shit! - Sorry. Sorry. 10 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,161 - Whoa, really scary guy! - JIM: Scary guy? 11 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,412 - FEMALE OFFICER: Scary guy! Scary guy! 12 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,371 -JIM: Where? Where? 13 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,545 - It's a sad day here in Reno. 14 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,840 We have a frequent public nuisance named T.T. 15 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,216 I'm not sure what happened to her 16 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,427 but her aunt sure was a pillar in the community, 17 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,636 and so, we're mourning her today. 18 00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,892 The Reno Sheriff's Department has decided to pitch in 19 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,853 and we're all pall bearers for her coffin. 20 00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,480 She was a great lady and she... 21 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,399 - [T.T. crying loudly] - started a... 22 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,904 an after-school program for homeless children. 23 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,449 - She donated books to people in need. - Donated books. 24 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,536 And T.T. is going through her stages of grief. 25 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,497 - It's really heartbreaking. - [T.T. continues crying] 26 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,040 I've never seen anything so sad. 27 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:26,669 - You know, everyone experiences bereavement differently, 28 00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,464 so we try to have room for that... 29 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,299 - Yeah. - ...experience. 30 00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,218 - Sometimes they cry, sometimes they hump things. 31 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,929 Sometimes they dance. Oh. 32 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,514 - Okay. Yeah. 33 00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:40,225 [T.T. crying loudly] 34 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,684 - All right. 35 00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:42,936 - My condolences. - My-- 36 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:46,981 - Okay. Thank you. - You're very welcome. 37 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,986 [band playing slow music] 38 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:54,322 [man screaming] 39 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,951 [indistinct chattering] 40 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,328 - MINISTER: We appreciate it so much. Thank you. 41 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,456 [T.T. continues crying loudly] 42 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,208 Oh, wow. 43 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,793 - JIM: Be a lady. Be a lady. - MINISTER: Okay. Okay. 44 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,170 - JIM: Be a lady. 45 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:11,131 - All right... 46 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,761 [chuckles] You gotta be easy on that. - Be a lady. Be a lady. 47 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:17,887 - All right, here we go. - Thank you T.T. 48 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,514 - We really appreciate you guys. 49 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,808 - Absolutely. - I mean, in general. Yeah. 50 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,726 - Well, thank you, thank you. I wouldn't necessarily... 51 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:26,229 - T.T. Okay. Okay. - Okay, don't-- 52 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,982 - No, let her. She's gotta mourn. Let her mourn. 53 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,109 She's gotta mourn too. - FEMALE OFFICER: No hitting. 54 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:35,572 - So, uh, excuse me-- Excuse us. Excuse us. 55 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,740 If we could just... Very sorry. Just have to... 56 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,075 - MALE OFFICER: Wait. Wait. 57 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,869 You can't go through here. 58 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,871 They're doing demolition. 59 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,497 - They're doing demolition. Back it up. - Oh, shit. 60 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,583 - All right. - Back it up. Back it up. 61 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,792 [band tempo increases] 62 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,838 - Sorry. I'm so sorry. Bringing this back. 63 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,423 Absolutely. Absolutely. 64 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:58,178 [indistinct chattering] 65 00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,599 - To starboard. To the starboard. 66 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,143 - Watch it. Watch your step. There's a curb. 67 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,769 There's a curb here. - Hard to port. 68 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,354 - Here we go. - Hard to port. 69 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,024 - Oh, God, no! Oh, God, no! 70 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,776 Go, go, go. Oh, it's so cold! 71 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:15,153 [exclaims] Ah, brrr! 72 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,238 - We can get through this. 73 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,073 - Oh, God. Oh, that was really-- 74 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:20,867 Okay. 75 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,120 - MINISTER: Son of a-- 76 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,123 Quick, come. We're almost there. 77 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,291 - Go, go, go, go, go! 78 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,961 - That's a good pace. Great pace. 79 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,129 - JIM: Did we make a wrong turn or something? 80 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:36,341 - MINISTER: Jesus! 81 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,679 - JIM: I think we made a wrong turn, I swear. 82 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,849 Shit! Shit! 83 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,810 [explosions] 84 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,562 [all screaming] 85 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,650 Are we following, T.T.? 86 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,277 [woman screams] 87 00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,659 - TRAVIS: Go, go, go! 88 00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,747 - It's okay. - We're almost here! 89 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,041 - This way, this way. - Hard to starboard. 90 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,377 Hard to starboard. 91 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:15,964 Jesus! 92 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,299 Okay. Okay. 93 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,717 [band tempo increases] 94 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,396 Five, six, seven, eight. And... 95 00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:37,318 - MINISTER: Brothers and sisters... - TRAVIS: It's fine. Go! 96 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,070 - MINISTER: Please join me for a moment of silence. 97 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,324 Just a moment of silence. 98 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,160 [woman crying loudly] 99 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,179 - Sheriff's Department. - Somebody called you guys. 100 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,806 - I'm sorry, it took a while. 101 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,517 - Yeah, we just sat down to eat when we got the call. 102 00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,602 - I'm Steve. I'm the flight attendant. 103 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:14,397 Kind of in charge of economy class. - Sure. 104 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,649 - Exhausting! - Yeah, I bet it's exhausting. 105 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:20,695 - What happened wrong today is a woman... 106 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,114 and I don't want you to let her know we're talking about her... 107 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:26,409 in a blue shameez in the third row... 108 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,703 - Guys, can I save you some time? - [shushing] 109 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:29,704 - Ma'am. Ma'am! - Ma'am. 110 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,125 - So she's sitting-- You know what, I'll pretend that I'm her, okay? 111 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,793 - And I'm gonna sit here and... - First of all, don't dress like that 112 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,046 if you wanna be taken seriously. - ...she's hitting the buzzer 113 00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,714 every three minutes. - So you're her? 114 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,466 - "Sir, I need chap-sticks." 115 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,677 - I come over. She says, "Oh, I spilled all the nuts in my lap." 116 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,304 She's like, "Can you grab them? Help me grab them." 117 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,847 - So you're-- Yeah. - So you be me, 118 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,891 and I put my hand down there... - So you're you. 119 00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,434 - ...and then she starts doing this. 120 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,144 - Okay. - Like trying to 121 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,563 shove her vaginal mound into my wrist. 122 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,440 - Shut your hole. Shut your hole. 123 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,525 - So she says, "Go up there and grab my jacket, 124 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,611 because, well, I'm seat-belted. 125 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,405 As I'm grabbing her jacket, she's doing this, 126 00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:07,617 just giving me little Eskimo kisses with her nose. 127 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,660 Just like this. - This is... 128 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:11,287 - Nice and slow. - This is... I do-- 129 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,122 - I'm looking for a jacket... 130 00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,791 - Why are you wearing shorts? - ...that doesn't even exist. 131 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,793 And she's going like this 132 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,753 - pretending she's reaching in the back... - I will sue you! 133 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,922 - ...for my jacket. 134 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,091 - And what's really happening is... - Excuse me. 135 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,718 - ...I'm getting ass-raped by her vaginal mound. 136 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:29,639 - Excuse me. I'm sorry. He doesn't work for the airline. 137 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,849 He's the one I called you about. 138 00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,476 He was rubbing his groin on this passenger. 139 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,354 - Shit! God damn it. Get down in first! 140 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,817 - Don't get near me or I will open this door 141 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,111 and suck you all out into space. 142 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:43,945 - I don't think he's bluffing. 143 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,365 - It's like 12 feet down, right? 14 feet? - It's like 12 feet. 144 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,624 - We work really hard, 145 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,251 but if we didn't love it, 146 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,421 honestly, we wouldn't be here. 147 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,756 - Believe it or not, the Reno Sheriff's Department 148 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,675 has jobs available. 149 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,885 - Reno Sheriff's Department is looking for a few good men, 150 00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:10,721 and women, and transgender, 151 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,308 and non-gender specific gen-Z-ers. 152 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,394 - Even with criminal records. 153 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:20,731 - Up to and including the retarded. 154 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,192 - I love it here, and if I didn't, I could quit at any time. 155 00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,610 Really, I could just get up and walk out. 156 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,405 - I'm so happy, I must be dreaming. 157 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,742 - I didn't even use my six hours of time off last Christmas. 158 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,621 - So join the Reno Sheriff's Department. 159 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,291 - ALL: Fax in your applications now.