1
00:00:11,836 --> 00:00:15,206
You take water,
and you freeze it.
That's the recipe.

2
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,107
Rizzo: for ice?

3
00:00:17,141 --> 00:00:18,609
Yeah. It's just
frozen water.

4
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:21,478
Declan: yup.

5
00:00:21,513 --> 00:00:23,881
ΒΆ to the wha, wha,
to the wha, to the wha,
to the wha, wha βΆ

6
00:00:23,915 --> 00:00:25,148
Guess what.

7
00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:27,051
Williams: what?
Guess what.

8
00:00:27,085 --> 00:00:28,252
All: what?

9
00:00:28,287 --> 00:00:31,855
Guess who has a secret
admirer. Yours truly. Look.

10
00:00:31,889 --> 00:00:37,761
"Lieutenant dangle,
jim dangle, one day
your heart will be mine."

11
00:00:37,795 --> 00:00:41,565
Wow.
It came with a prop.

12
00:00:41,599 --> 00:00:42,700
All: whoa!

13
00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:43,734
Declan:
oh, my god.

14
00:00:43,768 --> 00:00:45,402
Pig heart.
Williams:
what is that?

15
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:47,204
Death threat. Not
an admirer--A death threat.

16
00:00:47,238 --> 00:00:49,072
Junior: you should
just do your...
dust for, uh...

17
00:00:49,107 --> 00:00:53,844
Dangle: it's a death threat.
It's a death threat,
people! Death threat!

18
00:00:55,413 --> 00:00:57,581
Son of a bitch!
God damn it!

19
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,355
They all have guns!

20
00:01:11,996 --> 00:01:12,964
Ow!

21
00:01:12,998 --> 00:01:14,465
Push them together?

22
00:01:14,499 --> 00:01:15,899
Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!

23
00:01:17,836 --> 00:01:20,470
Aah! Gah!

24
00:01:20,505 --> 00:01:22,673
[Siren]

25
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:25,576
[Click click click]

26
00:01:25,611 --> 00:01:27,844
Uh! Uh!

27
00:01:28,847 --> 00:01:30,447
Watch. Over the line.

28
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:31,682
Aah!

29
00:01:35,419 --> 00:01:38,389
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks

30
00:01:38,423 --> 00:01:39,723
Dangle:
good morning,
party people.

31
00:01:39,757 --> 00:01:41,158
Wiegel:
good morning.

32
00:01:41,192 --> 00:01:42,827
Come on, everybody.
Call it out. "Good
morning, lieutenant."

33
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,629
All: good morning, lieutenant.

34
00:01:44,663 --> 00:01:48,865
Thank you, sergeant.
How does everybody
like the new wall color?

35
00:01:51,469 --> 00:01:52,469
What did it
used to be?

36
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:53,470
Are you sure they did it?

37
00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:54,471
Yeah.

38
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,473
Rizzo: it looks the same.

39
00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:56,907
What was it before?

40
00:01:56,941 --> 00:02:00,210
I thought it w--Uh, ok.
Maybe they didn't--
Never mind.

41
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,112
You know what? This is--
I gave tomorrow's
announcement.

42
00:02:02,146 --> 00:02:03,980
They're painting
the walls tonight.

43
00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:07,718
I do all the week's
announcements
sometimes in advance.

44
00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,454
Ah. That's tomorrow.

45
00:02:10,488 --> 00:02:11,889
Tomorrow i'll ask you
what you think of
the new wall color.

46
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,123
This is the same.

47
00:02:13,157 --> 00:02:14,458
Yeah. So no
painting was done.

48
00:02:14,493 --> 00:02:18,362
Uh, ok. In assignments,
there's a warrant, uh,

49
00:02:18,397 --> 00:02:22,098
For reuben
"the bone" alvarez.
The drug trafficker.

50
00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:24,501
We need an undercover team
to pose as a couple--

51
00:02:24,536 --> 00:02:28,505
Uh, i thought jones
and williams seemed
sort of plausible--

52
00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:30,708
To infiltrate
the midnight swingers.

53
00:02:30,742 --> 00:02:34,411
Alvarez is a known member
of this sex club.

54
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:35,712
What's a sex club?

55
00:02:35,747 --> 00:02:37,247
Dangle:
it's like a key party.

56
00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:38,749
Rizzo: yeah,
they're key parties.

57
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:41,318
Key parties is
where sexually promiscuous
couples get together

58
00:02:41,352 --> 00:02:43,153
And they throw their
car keys in a bowl,

59
00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:45,956
And then they take them out
and they fuck each other.

60
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,291
With the keys?

61
00:02:47,325 --> 00:02:49,293
No, no, no. Each other
depending on whose key
they have.

62
00:02:49,327 --> 00:02:50,894
With their
penises. Yeah.

63
00:02:50,929 --> 00:02:53,264
What if you walked
to the party?

64
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,132
Do you still get
to get fucked?

65
00:02:55,166 --> 00:02:57,334
You could always--
You'll always get
fucked at the party,

66
00:02:57,369 --> 00:03:00,037
No matter whether you get
there by foot, by car, by
hovercraft, by float.

67
00:03:00,071 --> 00:03:02,940
You're always gonna
get--You're all
ready to fucked.

68
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:07,344
So that means we're gonna--
We're gonna get to
fuck people, too.

69
00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:09,279
Dangle: no. That's exactly
what you don't need to do.

70
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,216
Declan: you know what?
I'd like to do
some undercover.

71
00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:13,383
Dangle: you're not
getting this one.

72
00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:14,918
No. I don't have to
have this one.

73
00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:17,221
I'm just saying i got
myself a fake beard
at the 99-Cent store.

74
00:03:17,255 --> 00:03:20,023
I'd like to be considered
the next time there's
an undercover assignment.

75
00:03:20,058 --> 00:03:21,624
The next time something--
I need a bearded guy,

76
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,061
If i need, like, a hasidim
or, like, an amish guy--

77
00:03:24,095 --> 00:03:27,230
What about, like,
a big, fat homeless guy?
He could do that.

78
00:03:27,264 --> 00:03:29,533
Why does he have to
be big and fat?

79
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:38,475
Today it is a somber
day in reno.

80
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:42,813
We honor
our fallen comrade
james oswaldo garcia.

81
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:45,082
Per his last wishes,

82
00:03:45,116 --> 00:03:48,652
Firing his
cremated ashes
out of a cannon.

83
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,687
Ready, detail!

84
00:03:50,722 --> 00:03:51,688
Dangle:
careful!

85
00:03:51,723 --> 00:03:53,189
Jones:
aw, shit.

86
00:03:53,224 --> 00:03:56,594
Dangle: aw, god damn it.
Everyone scoop him
up. Scoop him up.

87
00:03:56,628 --> 00:03:58,762
Get as much garcia
back in as you can.

88
00:03:58,796 --> 00:04:01,265
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
What the fuck?
What?

89
00:04:01,299 --> 00:04:03,367
What the fuck?
Live cannon.

90
00:04:03,401 --> 00:04:05,502
Ew. Ew. What if this part
is his balls?

91
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,172
Some part of this
is his balls, ok?

92
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,406
Stop blowing right onto me.
Blow to the right of me.

93
00:04:09,441 --> 00:04:10,974
No, stop blowing.

94
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,375
Don't blow it at
me. Blow down
the god damn thing.

95
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:13,543
[Coughing]

96
00:04:13,577 --> 00:04:15,513
There we go. Most of it.
There's most of it.

97
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:21,484
Hya. Sounding! Hya! Fire!

98
00:04:24,422 --> 00:04:26,857
Didn't go.
Did it go? I plugged
my ears. Did it go?

99
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,325
Obviously it didn't go.

100
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:32,930
James garcia,
we salute you! Fire!

101
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,299
Nope.

102
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:37,034
We got to just get
the thing out of
the bottom of it.

103
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,602
Get the thing out
of the bottom.
It's all right. Crawl.

104
00:04:39,637 --> 00:04:40,604
Wiegel:
we have a hold of it?

105
00:04:40,638 --> 00:04:42,105
I got it. I got it.
I almost got it.

106
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,440
Should i try to
get it loose?

107
00:04:43,474 --> 00:04:45,108
Ok, totally stuck.
Totally stuck, for real.

108
00:04:45,142 --> 00:04:46,610
Keep tapping it.
Leave it. Good.

109
00:04:46,644 --> 00:04:48,345
Jiggle it.
Ok, jiggle it.

110
00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:56,353
All: βΆ amazing grace,
how sweet the sound βΆ

111
00:04:56,387 --> 00:05:05,129
ΒΆ that saved a wretch like me βΆ

112
00:05:05,163 --> 00:05:07,164
Hey, look at me.
I got a big black dick.

113
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,302
What if we just sat this up
on a fence and shot at it?

114
00:05:12,337 --> 00:05:14,605
I think garcia would
approve, oddly enough.

115
00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:22,179
[Horn honking]

116
00:05:22,213 --> 00:05:23,681
[Car alarm]

117
00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:28,151
Fucking garcia, man.
Shit

118
00:05:28,185 --> 00:05:29,786
Fucking mexicans.
Wow.

119
00:05:34,559 --> 00:05:35,525
Hello.
How you doing?

120
00:05:35,559 --> 00:05:36,526
Hi.

121
00:05:36,561 --> 00:05:38,061
Sheriff's department.

122
00:05:38,096 --> 00:05:44,968
Uh, you guys sent us
a stool sample, and
we're wondering why.

123
00:05:45,002 --> 00:05:48,538
Huh. Um...i don't
have a clue.

124
00:05:48,572 --> 00:05:49,673
Ok.

125
00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:53,611
Uh, i guess i can make
some calls, i guess.

126
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,878
Great.

127
00:05:54,913 --> 00:05:58,214
Let me try doctor, uh,
dr. Diphold, see
what he says.

128
00:05:58,249 --> 00:05:59,617
I'm here with the reno
sheriff's department.

129
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:03,219
They were sent
a, uh, tupperware
container

130
00:06:03,254 --> 00:06:04,555
Of what appears to
be human stool.

131
00:06:04,589 --> 00:06:05,555
It's very hard.

132
00:06:05,589 --> 00:06:06,557
It's hard and--

133
00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:08,225
Might have been
constipated.

134
00:06:08,259 --> 00:06:11,495
And very dry. Yeah.
It appears to be
pretty tight, too.

135
00:06:11,529 --> 00:06:14,831
It's not a loose stool.
Uh, you can hear it.

136
00:06:14,866 --> 00:06:16,432
Can you hear it?

137
00:06:16,467 --> 00:06:19,169
That's kind of what
it sounds like.

138
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,472
Ok. You--You have
no idea--No one
from your department

139
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,940
Sent that? All right.

140
00:06:23,975 --> 00:06:26,944
Ok. All right. No,
i'll see you then.

141
00:06:26,978 --> 00:06:30,380
Ok, bye. Let me try
operations--Building
operations.

142
00:06:30,415 --> 00:06:31,882
Ok.
Maybe they just
found something

143
00:06:31,916 --> 00:06:33,783
And they didn't know
what to do with it.

144
00:06:33,818 --> 00:06:35,952
Well, i mean if
they just found it,

145
00:06:35,987 --> 00:06:38,121
They could have just
maybe thrown it out.

146
00:06:38,156 --> 00:06:41,057
Yeah, no. Yeah, i can hold.
She's got me on hold.

147
00:06:41,092 --> 00:06:42,826
You know, for the record,

148
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,828
We don't need this much
stool for a dna test.

149
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,296
That's a lot.

150
00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:49,466
This is--This is way, way
more stool than we need.

151
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:50,667
How much is--

152
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,669
All you need is,
like, a cigar snip.

153
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,504
If that. If that.
Oh, just the tip?

154
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,772
If that.

155
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,908
Do me a favor.
Just open that up.

156
00:06:57,942 --> 00:06:59,576
I know it may
sound weird, but...

157
00:07:02,347 --> 00:07:04,748
[Music box playing]

158
00:07:09,821 --> 00:07:12,155
Ok, i know who
sent that.

159
00:07:12,189 --> 00:07:15,092
We fired that guy.
He's batshit crazy.

160
00:07:19,497 --> 00:07:22,466
I don't get excited
about my job very
often, ok?

161
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:26,637
But i'm extremely
excited about this
undercover job

162
00:07:26,671 --> 00:07:30,073
Because the women
at these key parties--

163
00:07:30,108 --> 00:07:33,377
I don't know if you
know about these--
The people there.

164
00:07:35,547 --> 00:07:37,113
Man: the urine
on the carpet--

165
00:07:37,148 --> 00:07:39,416
Woman: it's not gonna
come out, is it?
It's not gonna come out.

166
00:07:39,451 --> 00:07:42,986
I think it's
because i had some
cranberry juice,

167
00:07:43,021 --> 00:07:46,890
And that way it tends to
take the yellow and--

168
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:51,227
Hello!
Hello!
New people.

169
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,964
Welcome! Hey. Ah.
Oh, my goodness.

170
00:07:53,998 --> 00:07:55,331
How are you?

171
00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:57,901
Can i fuck you
right now or later?
I don't know.

172
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,870
We're, uh, friends
of reuben alvarez.

173
00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:04,507
Oh, ok. Well, then
that's all right.
Sure.

174
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:05,642
And we got keys.

175
00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:07,511
Oh!

176
00:08:07,545 --> 00:08:09,112
That's like
an open invitation.
Boom. Right there.

177
00:08:09,147 --> 00:08:10,447
The key?

178
00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:14,184
You gonna put
it right down there?
Key to the snatch pack.

179
00:08:14,218 --> 00:08:15,285
Key to the snatch pack.

180
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,054
You know your stuff.
You're no beginner.

181
00:08:17,088 --> 00:08:19,489
Right there,
sweetheart. Just
put it right there.

182
00:08:19,523 --> 00:08:22,059
I'm gonna memorize--Ok.

183
00:08:22,093 --> 00:08:25,462
Are you hard-Core?
Are you trash 'em
and smash 'em?

184
00:08:25,496 --> 00:08:27,297
Are you gentle
but sweet? What?

185
00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:28,798
Urination?

186
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:29,833
Um...

187
00:08:29,868 --> 00:08:31,201
Yes.

188
00:08:31,235 --> 00:08:33,203
All of that.
All of that.
Yes.

189
00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:34,538
Thank you, monique.

190
00:08:34,572 --> 00:08:36,105
Monique is having
surgery tomorrow.

191
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,107
We hope she
makes it.

192
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,241
Good lady.
Good lady.

193
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,343
Good luck to you.

194
00:08:40,378 --> 00:08:42,346
We lost so many
members to puzzles.

195
00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,114
Like, everybody
started doing puzzles,

196
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,515
And they left
the swing scene.

197
00:08:45,549 --> 00:08:47,050
Oh, really?
Yeah. Horrible.

198
00:08:47,084 --> 00:08:48,218
A lot of our people.

199
00:08:48,252 --> 00:08:51,855
Horrible what
that hobby can do
to a person.

200
00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:53,890
I want to see
just exactly how
you go down

201
00:08:53,925 --> 00:08:56,093
And how you react
so that i know
what to expect,

202
00:08:56,127 --> 00:08:57,194
You know
what i mean?

203
00:08:57,228 --> 00:08:58,995
She calls me the jackhammer.
Just hold on to my ears--

204
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:02,232
Ooh! Ya ya ya
ya ya.

205
00:09:02,266 --> 00:09:05,835
Are you interested
in waterfront property,
by any chance?

206
00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:08,271
Do you know of anybody
who's interested in
waterfront property?

207
00:09:08,306 --> 00:09:10,140
Oh, yeah. We've got
an area

208
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,975
That we're having
a hard time
getting rid of.

209
00:09:22,219 --> 00:09:23,220
Hi.

210
00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:25,421
Hi.
Hi!

211
00:09:25,456 --> 00:09:26,690
Tell us what
your sign says,
terry.

212
00:09:26,724 --> 00:09:28,792
It says "vote for me
or i'll pee on you."

213
00:09:28,827 --> 00:09:29,793
"Or i'll pee
on you."

214
00:09:29,827 --> 00:09:30,794
Yeah.

215
00:09:30,828 --> 00:09:32,629
What are you
running for, terry?

216
00:09:32,664 --> 00:09:34,131
President of
the united states.

217
00:09:34,165 --> 00:09:35,365
You're running
for president of
the united states?

218
00:09:35,399 --> 00:09:37,767
You know, we had
one of those
a while back.

219
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,202
Who won?

220
00:09:39,237 --> 00:09:40,337
You're either real, real
late, or you're real early.

221
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,638
Are you late, or
are you early, terry?

222
00:09:41,672 --> 00:09:43,306
I'm doing 2020.

223
00:09:43,341 --> 00:09:44,307
2020?
Yeah.

224
00:09:44,341 --> 00:09:45,309
All right.

225
00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:46,309
I want to get a head start.

226
00:09:46,343 --> 00:09:48,011
You want to get
a head start?
Yeah.

227
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,479
Lay a foundation?
You're doing
a grass roots?

228
00:09:49,514 --> 00:09:52,081
Yeah. Some ass roots.

229
00:09:54,519 --> 00:09:57,053
Grass...roots?

230
00:09:57,087 --> 00:09:58,322
Terry?
What?

231
00:09:58,356 --> 00:10:00,824
Did you wake up
this morning...

232
00:10:00,859 --> 00:10:01,825
Yes.

233
00:10:01,859 --> 00:10:03,460
Get super, super,
super high...

234
00:10:03,494 --> 00:10:04,660
Make a sign
that said

235
00:10:04,695 --> 00:10:06,396
"Vote for me or
i'll pee on you,"

236
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:09,266
And come down here
and harass everybody
coming in and out?

237
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:11,668
Ok. I did wake up.

238
00:10:11,703 --> 00:10:13,203
Ok. All right.

239
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:16,339
I, uh--Something happened.
I don't remember.

240
00:10:16,373 --> 00:10:17,673
Ok, this might be
the part where

241
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:18,675
You got
super, super,
super high, right?

242
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:19,676
Maybe. We don't know.

243
00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,245
Might be.
We don't know.

244
00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:25,014
I did have
17 bowls of cereal.

245
00:10:25,048 --> 00:10:26,617
17 bowls of cereal.

246
00:10:26,651 --> 00:10:27,784
What kind of
cereal did
you have, terry?

247
00:10:27,819 --> 00:10:29,586
It wasn't total, because
you know if you have

248
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,688
A bowl of total, it's like
having 17 bowls of some--

249
00:10:31,723 --> 00:10:32,789
Of other cereals.

250
00:10:32,823 --> 00:10:33,924
Are you serious?
One bowl of total?
Yeah.

251
00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:36,526
So you went with the
17 other cereals.

252
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,328
You were high
even for you, terry.

253
00:10:38,362 --> 00:10:41,798
I've never been high.
Oh! Was that a dragon?

254
00:10:41,832 --> 00:10:44,234
Ok, his fingers.
Obviously--

255
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,235
I thought it was a dragon.

256
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,236
Ok, what's this?

257
00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,238
Thank god. It's spiders!

258
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,238
Ok, what's this?

259
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,474
Fire!

260
00:10:51,508 --> 00:10:55,111
Genie. Genie.

261
00:10:55,146 --> 00:10:57,046
I don't know what
the fuck drug he's on.

262
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,551
Uh, i have
a question.

263
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,320
I got this in the
mail two days ago,
and this says--

264
00:11:03,354 --> 00:11:05,222
Congratulation!

265
00:11:05,256 --> 00:11:06,356
You did this.

266
00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:07,391
Yeah!

267
00:11:07,425 --> 00:11:08,458
You promoted me
to captain.

268
00:11:08,492 --> 00:11:09,826
Congratulation.
You are captain.

269
00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:11,161
No, no, no,
no, no, no.

270
00:11:11,196 --> 00:11:13,030
You can't just
promote people
to captain.

271
00:11:13,064 --> 00:11:16,466
See, just because--
You can't just
go and randomly--

272
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:20,304
You're looking at the new
captain! Whoo! Whoo!

273
00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:23,172
ΒΆ bop bop bop
bop bop bop bop! ΒΆ

274
00:11:23,207 --> 00:11:28,377
Ha ha! You're looking
at the captain of the reno
sheriff's department,

275
00:11:28,412 --> 00:11:32,649
And the first thing i
am doing is telling
dangle to go uhh!

276
00:11:32,683 --> 00:11:34,184
Hey, jim, how about
you come out here?

277
00:11:34,218 --> 00:11:36,453
I just need to ask you
something.

278
00:11:38,022 --> 00:11:39,555
Hey, let's stop--
Let's--

279
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:40,624
This is just a flat-Out
waste of taxpayers' money.

280
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:41,724
You know what i
want to ask you?

281
00:11:41,759 --> 00:11:42,826
To call me in that room.

282
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:48,664
I want to ask you to
suck my dick.

283
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:59,242
Cindy: congratulation!
You are all captain.

284
00:11:59,277 --> 00:12:01,278
Cindy has been, uh, making
everybody captain,

285
00:12:01,312 --> 00:12:05,748
So we'll just
forget all about that.
See you, cappy.

286
00:12:05,783 --> 00:12:08,351
I'm sorry, but you
know what i can do?

287
00:12:08,386 --> 00:12:12,756
I can make you
1/18 mapoa indian.

288
00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:14,257
Would you like that?

289
00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:15,558
Yeah, ok.

290
00:12:15,593 --> 00:12:17,026
You'll get $500
check every month
from the casino.

291
00:12:17,061 --> 00:12:18,228
Would you like that?

292
00:12:18,262 --> 00:12:19,529
Yeah, that's
something, right?
Ok.

293
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,868
There were just
daisy chains...

294
00:12:25,903 --> 00:12:27,070
Yeah.

295
00:12:27,105 --> 00:12:29,673
For miles.
People with their
heads and people--

296
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:30,807
Exciting time, huh?

297
00:12:30,841 --> 00:12:32,275
Exciting times
because reagan

298
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:35,511
Stimulated
the economy,
and everything--

299
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:39,582
Everything. Yeah.
That's when everybody
went to the sex to make

300
00:12:39,617 --> 00:12:41,117
Them happy,
medicate themselves,

301
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:42,785
And then found
out it was fun.

302
00:12:42,820 --> 00:12:45,288
And we got cheap
sheets from china.

303
00:12:45,323 --> 00:12:47,123
Yeah. Yeah.

304
00:12:47,158 --> 00:12:48,858
Do you think firemen
are overpaid?

305
00:12:54,999 --> 00:12:57,733
[Tires screech]

306
00:12:57,768 --> 00:13:02,339
Got a telegram. I didn't
know you could get
a telegram anymore.

307
00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:04,674
It said "meet me at
the old filling station.

308
00:13:04,709 --> 00:13:07,176
All will be revealed."

309
00:13:07,211 --> 00:13:10,780
[Engine revving]
hello! Hello!

310
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,987
Who are you?
Who are you?

311
00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:19,456
Who are you, man?

312
00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:20,690
Who are you, man?

313
00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:22,125
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!

314
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:25,061
Gary morgan.
Reno sheriff's.
Where's the lieutenant?

315
00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:27,363
I am the lieutenant!

316
00:13:27,398 --> 00:13:28,732
Put it down! Put your
gun on the ground!

317
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,300
Put yours on the ground.
Put yours on the ground!

318
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:31,901
Put yours first!
Put yours
on the ground!

319
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,271
Wait. Same time.
How's that?

320
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:39,008
Where's the lieutenant?

321
00:13:39,043 --> 00:13:40,576
I am the lieutenant.

322
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,213
Where's lieutenant larry?

323
00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:44,814
Lieutenant larry?

324
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:46,315
The guy that's
been picking up

325
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:48,418
The communique for
the last 10 years.

326
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,086
Lieutenant larry?
Oh, my god.

327
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,188
Time to pick up the ants,
man. This is the day.

328
00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:54,591
Lieutenant larry
left the sheriff's
department,

329
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:58,295
Like, 8 years ago.
I'm lieutenant dangle.

330
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,331
I've been dropping him
a communique for 10 years.

331
00:14:01,365 --> 00:14:03,066
It's time to take down
the ants, man.

332
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,102
I've been undercover
for 10 years!

333
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,437
Oh, boy.

334
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:08,605
What the hell?!

335
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,907
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

336
00:14:10,941 --> 00:14:12,141
Aah!

337
00:14:12,176 --> 00:14:13,943
Oh, boy. Are these
reel-To-Reels?

338
00:14:13,977 --> 00:14:15,112
Of course.

339
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,413
We have no way to play
those, i don't think.

340
00:14:17,447 --> 00:14:18,648
We have no way
to play these.

341
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,617
I don't think we
have any way to
play these.

342
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,152
Was "chucha-Cabbage"
aware of this?

343
00:14:22,186 --> 00:14:23,920
That's my guy.
He sent me in.

344
00:14:23,954 --> 00:14:28,358
Oh, poop on
a pogo stick.
He's passed away.

345
00:14:28,392 --> 00:14:33,663
I feel like there might
have been a note on
my desk about this

346
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:38,468
That i skimmed. And
oh, boy, oh, boy, does
it burn me up inside.

347
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,136
I'm so mad right now.

348
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,639
I'm so mad that i
might have accidentally
skimmed that note

349
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,340
That i'm gonna make
this up to you, ok?

350
00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:48,712
I am gonna take you...
to sizzler.

351
00:14:48,746 --> 00:14:50,146
How do you like
that? You and me.

352
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,848
Sizzler?
Yeah.

353
00:14:51,882 --> 00:14:53,683
All i can eat?
All you can eat.

354
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,351
I wouldn't be
surprised if we got
you a commendation.

355
00:14:55,386 --> 00:14:56,986
Nice work.
Ow.

356
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:59,088
Nice work taking
down the ants.

357
00:14:59,123 --> 00:15:00,523
Shit.

358
00:15:00,557 --> 00:15:02,058
We'll talk to you soon.
We'll talk this
week, right?

359
00:15:02,092 --> 00:15:03,226
You and me are
going to sizzler, and
we're gonna work this out.

360
00:15:03,261 --> 00:15:04,227
You call me.

361
00:15:04,261 --> 00:15:05,261
I certainly will.

362
00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:06,963
[Engine revs]

363
00:15:06,997 --> 00:15:09,699
Hey, this is dangle.
We have a crazed
drifter on matthews,

364
00:15:09,733 --> 00:15:15,405
About 6'4", brown hair,
mustache, uh, about
185 pounds on 80.

365
00:15:15,439 --> 00:15:17,273
He is armed and
extremely dangerous.

366
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:19,909
Uh, shoot to kill.
If you get a shot, take it.

367
00:15:28,686 --> 00:15:33,489
I have been to a key party,
but it wasn't as amazing as
everybody talks about.

368
00:15:33,523 --> 00:15:36,626
I showed up at this party,
and this mexican guy was, like,

369
00:15:36,661 --> 00:15:42,165
"Can i have your key?"
And i gave him my key,
he drove my car away,

370
00:15:42,199 --> 00:15:45,869
I went to the party, i came
back, he came back up,

371
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,403
Gave me my car, and handed
me my key back.

372
00:15:47,438 --> 00:15:48,872
I think you
misunderstand what
a key party is.

373
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:52,041
No fingering, no making
out, no nothing.
I was barely turned on.

374
00:15:56,113 --> 00:16:00,316
Hey, unborn baby.
It's your dad craig.

375
00:16:00,351 --> 00:16:03,085
By now i've been lethally
injected with something

376
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,921
And i'm in
the ground rotting,

377
00:16:04,955 --> 00:16:07,757
So i thought i'd take
this time to let you know

378
00:16:07,791 --> 00:16:11,060
That your old dad was
pretty good at some stuff.

379
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:15,898
Two things--Murder
and magic.

380
00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:18,835
Magic's a great way
to make new friends.

381
00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:22,205
Let me show you
a few tricks.

382
00:16:22,239 --> 00:16:26,676
Hey, t-Bone, what's that
behind--Oh, shit ah!

383
00:16:28,646 --> 00:16:30,647
Oh! Look at
that big fella.

384
00:16:30,681 --> 00:16:32,582
Don't let--Daddy's fine.
Daddy's fine.

385
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,351
You done messed up.
You done messed up.

386
00:16:34,385 --> 00:16:37,487
Turn the tape off.

387
00:16:37,521 --> 00:16:41,090
White people
are so weird.

388
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:44,327
I can hear you.
We also have
excellent hearing.

389
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,198
Replay that part
where he's getting
raped in the corner.

390
00:16:53,504 --> 00:16:56,473
Appraiser on tv:
part of virginia's history
was nathaniel bedford forest.

391
00:16:56,507 --> 00:17:00,110
He led forces against lee
in the campaign,

392
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:03,880
Eventually succeeding
in gettysburg
over general lee.

393
00:17:03,915 --> 00:17:06,516
Uh, do you know anything
about the value of
this particular sword?

394
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:07,550
Man: oh, jeez.
I don't know.

395
00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:09,352
A friend of mine
offered me--

396
00:17:09,386 --> 00:17:10,987
He said, "i'll give
you $20 for it."

397
00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:11,854
Appraiser: $20
for this sword?

398
00:17:11,888 --> 00:17:12,589
Man: i don't know.

399
00:17:12,623 --> 00:17:14,257
Appraiser: i think
the serious...

400
00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:16,159
Who knew?
Shh.

401
00:17:16,193 --> 00:17:21,364
Would pay you for the sword
upwards of 70, $75,000.

402
00:17:21,398 --> 00:17:22,832
All: wow.

403
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,501
Appraiser: it's
in terrific shape...

404
00:17:24,535 --> 00:17:25,501
Williams:
can you believe that?

405
00:17:25,536 --> 00:17:28,771
Who knew?
You never know.
You never know.

406
00:17:28,805 --> 00:17:31,541
Look at the smile
on that face, huh?

407
00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:32,174
Hmm.

408
00:17:36,413 --> 00:17:46,456
[Rock music
playing on radio]

409
00:17:46,457 --> 00:17:57,500
[Rock music
playing on radio]

410
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,002
Aah!

411
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:06,108
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Ah. Ah! Fuck.

412
00:18:06,143 --> 00:18:10,112
Ah! Uh! Uh. Uh.

413
00:18:13,016 --> 00:18:16,319
Let's roll.
Aah! Gaah! Gaah! Uh!

414
00:18:16,354 --> 00:18:17,720
[Tires screech]

415
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:29,965
So, listen, you guys,
when do y'all think reuben
is gonna show up?

416
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,169
Does he roll in
right about now?

417
00:18:33,204 --> 00:18:35,671
Woman: reuben died
a couple of years ago.
You didn't know that?

418
00:18:35,705 --> 00:18:37,140
Are you kidding?

419
00:18:37,174 --> 00:18:40,376
I thought you, uh, were
good friends with him.

420
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,611
Don't tell me
you're cops.

421
00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:43,346
Are you cops?

422
00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:48,351
Yeah.

423
00:18:48,386 --> 00:18:50,586
We are.

424
00:18:51,055 --> 00:18:52,054
Stay for the orgy.

425
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:53,189
Please, don't
worry about it.

426
00:18:53,224 --> 00:18:54,256
Stay for the orgy.
Don't worry about it.

427
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:56,492
You're already
lubricated.
Just stay.

428
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,740
You missed a stop sign
back there, boy.

429
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:14,043
No, don't do it. Don't you
do it. Don't--Don't even
think about it.

430
00:19:14,077 --> 00:19:16,145
Do not even think
about it. Freeze!

431
00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:17,880
[Ice cream truck
music playing]

432
00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:20,817
Freeze!
Sheriff's department!

433
00:19:20,851 --> 00:19:23,352
You stop that
ice cream truck!

434
00:19:23,387 --> 00:19:26,622
Freeze! Freeze!

435
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,261
Sheriff's department!

436
00:19:32,596 --> 00:19:33,797
[Tire blows]

437
00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,245
Hey, no cuts.

438
00:19:49,613 --> 00:19:52,082
[Junior breathing heavily]

439
00:19:52,116 --> 00:20:00,089
Can i get, uh, license
and registration
and two bomb pops?

440
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,460
Thank you.

441
00:20:10,401 --> 00:20:12,235
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

442
00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:13,536
Ah!

443
00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:14,903
Ah.
Whose keys?

444
00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:18,007
I did it! Ok, look.
Whose keys are these?

445
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:18,707
Whose is it?

446
00:20:18,742 --> 00:20:20,643
Ooh.

447
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:23,212
Those are my keys.

448
00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:26,482
Seriously?

449
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:28,851
There you go,
huh? Right?

450
00:20:28,886 --> 00:20:32,422
We...

451
00:20:32,456 --> 00:20:35,324
Yeah. You get to
do it. Ok, now.

452
00:20:35,358 --> 00:20:36,826
On the floor now.
On the floor
right here.

453
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:37,793
No, right
on the floor.

454
00:20:37,828 --> 00:20:38,761
Right here.
Down here. Go.

455
00:20:38,796 --> 00:20:40,563
Get my glasses.
Yeah, right on
the floor.

456
00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:41,731
Yeah. Drop.
Everybody drop.

457
00:20:41,765 --> 00:20:43,266
Let's go. We're
gonna watch. Let's go.

458
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,134
Yeah, yeah.
Come on.

459
00:20:44,168 --> 00:20:45,101
Where are my--
Where's my
heart medica--

460
00:20:45,135 --> 00:20:46,535
Oh, i got it.
I got to get them, too.

461
00:20:46,569 --> 00:20:47,436
Come on.
That's it.

462
00:20:47,471 --> 00:20:48,103
All right, here it is.

463
00:20:48,138 --> 00:20:50,140
There you go.

464
00:20:50,174 --> 00:20:51,307
Jones: all right.
Here we go.

465
00:20:51,341 --> 00:20:52,675
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks

466
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:54,143
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--Www.Ncicap.Org--

467
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:59,081
Basically we
fucked in front of

468
00:20:59,116 --> 00:21:01,484
A bunch
of white people.

469
00:21:01,518 --> 00:21:04,553
Raineesha:
old white people.

470
00:21:04,588 --> 00:21:05,288
Jones:
i mean, that's
the kind of stuff

471
00:21:05,322 --> 00:21:07,190
They used to do
in slavery time.

472
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:10,993
They'd watch black
people mate.

473
00:21:11,028 --> 00:21:12,996
Raineesha: you had
a flashback?

474
00:21:13,030 --> 00:21:16,632
An ancestral
flashback?

475
00:21:18,435 --> 00:21:19,902
Come on, kunta.
Spit it out.

476
00:21:19,937 --> 00:21:22,071
Jones:
well, i feel like
i should feel,

477
00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:24,073
Like, a lot
worse about it,

478
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:26,909
But actually i
don't feel that bad.