1 00:00:11,336 --> 00:00:12,770 Dangle: so the district attorney's office 2 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:15,539 Has asked that we please stop referring 3 00:00:15,573 --> 00:00:17,641 To them as nuts and butts checks. 4 00:00:17,675 --> 00:00:19,142 Why? What do we call it? 5 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:21,111 They thought that it implies that we're having-- 6 00:00:21,145 --> 00:00:24,415 ΒΆ oh! This nigger got o.J.'S belt βΆ 7 00:00:24,449 --> 00:00:26,850 ΒΆ this nigger got o.J.'S belt βΆ 8 00:00:26,884 --> 00:00:29,887 ΒΆ this nigger got o.J.'S belt βΆ 9 00:00:29,921 --> 00:00:31,455 Ha ha ha! Yeah. 10 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,489 O.J. Simpson? 11 00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,157 O.J. Simpson's belt. 12 00:00:34,192 --> 00:00:35,426 Williams: how did you get that? Really? 13 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:38,562 My boy rick, he works in booking down in vegas. 14 00:00:38,596 --> 00:00:42,800 When o.J. Got busted, he swiped his belt. 15 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:43,800 How much he charge you for that? 16 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:44,802 $800. 17 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:45,903 That's a good deal. 18 00:00:45,937 --> 00:00:46,904 That's an investment. 19 00:00:46,939 --> 00:00:48,572 That's an investment. 20 00:00:48,607 --> 00:00:49,740 That's a piece of history. 21 00:00:49,774 --> 00:00:50,941 That could be in the smithsonian. 22 00:00:50,975 --> 00:00:54,312 Oh, ho, hoooo! 23 00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:55,713 ΒΆ o.J.'S belt βΆ 24 00:00:55,747 --> 00:00:58,114 ΒΆ motherfucker, i got o.J.'S belt βΆ 25 00:00:58,149 --> 00:00:59,984 ΒΆ sucker, sucker, i got o.J.'S belt βΆ 26 00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,619 ΒΆ sucker, sucker βΆ 27 00:01:01,653 --> 00:01:03,787 Junior: rick in clark county? 28 00:01:03,821 --> 00:01:05,055 Vegas? Sold it to you? 29 00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:06,423 Yeah. 800 bucks? 30 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:09,994 1,000. Good deal, right? 31 00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,395 Pretty good deal. 32 00:01:12,564 --> 00:01:14,498 Son of a bitch. Goddamn it! 33 00:01:16,268 --> 00:01:18,135 [Tires screech] 34 00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:19,136 Come on. 35 00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:21,472 They all have guns! 36 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,810 Whoo hoo! 37 00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:30,213 Ow! 38 00:01:30,248 --> 00:01:31,548 Push them together? 39 00:01:31,582 --> 00:01:33,250 Sheriff's departmen. I neeed your bike. 40 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,987 Oh! God! 41 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,498 [All taking at once] 42 00:01:47,532 --> 00:01:48,865 Aah! 43 00:01:50,268 --> 00:01:52,335 [Siren] 44 00:01:55,507 --> 00:02:02,913 Dangle: people, as you know, his holiness pope benedict something something 45 00:02:02,947 --> 00:02:07,051 Is embarking on a tour of north america. 46 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,819 He is going to new york, 47 00:02:08,854 --> 00:02:11,088 He is going to chicago, 48 00:02:11,123 --> 00:02:13,190 He's going to los angeles, 49 00:02:13,224 --> 00:02:17,828 And a city yet to be determined. 50 00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:22,099 He is sending an advance team to reno, nevada, 51 00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:24,868 To determine whether or not we should 52 00:02:24,903 --> 00:02:28,505 Be the fourth host city. 53 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:32,676 I don't think i have to impress upon you 54 00:02:32,711 --> 00:02:37,415 What this would mean to our little hamlet. 55 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:43,820 It would be a clusterfuck of biblical proportions. 56 00:02:43,855 --> 00:02:46,223 We got to put up fucking concrete barriers, 57 00:02:46,258 --> 00:02:48,525 We need port-A-Potties, we got protesters, 58 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,927 We got mexicans who love the pope, 59 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,328 We got mexicans who hate the pope. 60 00:02:51,363 --> 00:02:53,397 Trudy: you didn't say this guy was a mexican. 61 00:02:53,431 --> 00:02:55,299 He's not a mexican. He's got a lot of-- 62 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:56,533 He's got a big mexican fan base. 63 00:02:56,568 --> 00:02:58,302 Junior: if you shit a turd that looks kind of like the pope, 64 00:02:58,336 --> 00:02:59,370 Mexicans flock to it. 65 00:02:59,404 --> 00:03:01,238 Oh, my goodness. Oh, look. 66 00:03:01,273 --> 00:03:02,472 Take a 9-Hour bus ride. 67 00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:03,941 Oh, that turd looks kind of like the pope. 68 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,911 Scare the shit out of these people. 69 00:03:06,945 --> 00:03:08,111 I don't think i'm asking that much of you 70 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:11,749 To show these people that this place 71 00:03:11,783 --> 00:03:15,919 Is the nut sac of the sierras 72 00:03:15,954 --> 00:03:18,321 And not a place that he should come. 73 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,160 Let us not ask later was there something 74 00:03:24,195 --> 00:03:25,662 We could have done to make the pope 75 00:03:25,696 --> 00:03:28,098 Not come that we didn't do. 76 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,935 Hi. How are you? 77 00:03:31,969 --> 00:03:33,804 Really, really super to have you. 78 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,172 I'm lieutenant jim dangle. 79 00:03:35,206 --> 00:03:37,541 I'm camerlengo federico to his holiness the pope. 80 00:03:37,575 --> 00:03:44,347 Oh, wonderful. Ok. Super. Great. 81 00:03:44,382 --> 00:03:45,349 Unh. Uh-Uh. 82 00:03:45,383 --> 00:03:46,349 That's how we do that here. 83 00:03:46,384 --> 00:03:48,652 This is trudy wiegel, uh... 84 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:51,155 It's very nice to meet you. Thank you. 85 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,756 A pleasure, to mee-- 86 00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:54,692 Ok. Trudy--I don't know if you can tell right now. 87 00:03:54,726 --> 00:03:56,427 Trudy's wearing an adult diaper. 88 00:03:56,461 --> 00:03:57,594 You understand what that is? 89 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,830 Uh, this is deputy travis junior. 90 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,531 He likes them real young. 91 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,934 Crazy about that new nazi pope. 92 00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:06,436 Batshit for him. 93 00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:08,805 Uh, this is francis rizzo. 94 00:04:08,839 --> 00:04:09,940 I asked you to cover that up. 95 00:04:09,975 --> 00:04:11,007 I used to dress up as the pope when i was a kid. 96 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,110 I had the whole pope thing, i had the hat. 97 00:04:13,144 --> 00:04:15,513 Shut your mouth. Uh, and this is raineesha williams, 98 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,147 Who is a muslim. 99 00:04:17,182 --> 00:04:19,449 Back up off me. Don't say nothing about what i believe 100 00:04:19,483 --> 00:04:20,617 Because i ain't gonna say nothing 101 00:04:20,652 --> 00:04:21,651 About what you believe 102 00:04:21,686 --> 00:04:22,920 Because if you say something 103 00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:24,121 About what i believe, it's gonna straight be a-- 104 00:04:24,155 --> 00:04:25,722 Oh, snap! Ok, please. Ok. 105 00:04:25,756 --> 00:04:28,992 Jack: lou, permission to stroke off my cock. 106 00:04:29,026 --> 00:04:31,929 Never have to ask me. You never have to ask 107 00:04:31,963 --> 00:04:33,297 Because this is reno, nevada. 108 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:35,298 I really think you're gonna like it here. 109 00:04:40,205 --> 00:04:41,572 Sheriff's department. Sheriff's department. 110 00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:42,606 Sheriff's department. 111 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,973 Damn. This place gives me the creeps. 112 00:04:44,008 --> 00:04:46,476 Officers, officers, thank god you're here. 113 00:04:46,511 --> 00:04:48,879 Look. One of our most dangerous patients has escaped. 114 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,013 He's not in his room anymore, 115 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:51,515 And we need to set up a perimeter. 116 00:04:51,549 --> 00:04:52,383 I don't know what to do. 117 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,218 Ok. We need a description right away. 118 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,519 He responds to the name daniel, 119 00:04:55,553 --> 00:04:56,620 He responds to several different names. 120 00:04:56,655 --> 00:04:58,621 He's kind of balding, but we set up a perimeter. 121 00:04:58,656 --> 00:05:01,124 I don't know what it is you guys need to do. 122 00:05:01,159 --> 00:05:02,559 Police officers, police officers. 123 00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:03,761 Thank goodness you guys are here. 124 00:05:03,795 --> 00:05:05,596 You guys have him. Thank goodness. 125 00:05:05,630 --> 00:05:08,632 This is one of our most dangerous patients. 126 00:05:08,666 --> 00:05:10,701 Phew. This is a lot of weight off my shoulders. 127 00:05:10,735 --> 00:05:12,168 Ok. This is-- This is daniel. This is daniel. 128 00:05:12,203 --> 00:05:13,837 This is daniel. This is daniel? 129 00:05:13,871 --> 00:05:15,872 How dare you, how dare you? This is the patient. 130 00:05:15,907 --> 00:05:18,108 I am--I am a doctor. I am a doctor. 131 00:05:18,142 --> 00:05:20,144 Ok. Are you a doctor, or is he a--Who is-- 132 00:05:20,178 --> 00:05:22,346 I am a doctor. Daniel has a latent dissociative disorder. 133 00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:23,413 Sir, we're gonna take-- 134 00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:25,949 I went to medical school at john hodgkin's. 135 00:05:25,984 --> 00:05:27,084 John hodgkin's. Where'd you go? 136 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:29,253 I went to john-- Johns hopkins, 137 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,720 Which is a real medical school. 138 00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:32,022 John hodgkin's is not a real medical school. 139 00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:33,290 Which one is it? Which one is a disease, 140 00:05:33,324 --> 00:05:34,357 And which one is a school? 141 00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:35,292 I think it's hodgkin's. One's a disease-- 142 00:05:35,327 --> 00:05:37,361 No. Hodgkin's--Hodgkin's is a disease. 143 00:05:37,395 --> 00:05:38,996 Hodgkin's lymphoma. 144 00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:41,365 Ok. Which one of you assholes 145 00:05:41,399 --> 00:05:46,837 Took a shit in the rumpus room? 146 00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:47,737 I did it. 147 00:05:47,772 --> 00:05:49,506 We are seriously understaffed around here. 148 00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:50,807 I did it. I did it. I did it. 149 00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:51,675 Come on. 150 00:05:51,709 --> 00:05:52,443 This place gives me the fucking creeps. 151 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,378 Bigger bummer. The big one... yep. 152 00:05:54,412 --> 00:05:58,949 Uh, did my last, uh, proctology exam. 153 00:06:04,756 --> 00:06:06,156 I don't know if it's something in the water, 154 00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:10,260 But kids in washoe county are getting dumber and dumber. 155 00:06:10,294 --> 00:06:12,362 What the hell you think you're doing, boy? 156 00:06:12,397 --> 00:06:13,663 "Teen wolfing," brah. 157 00:06:13,698 --> 00:06:16,766 Son, you absolutely should not be doing this 158 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,569 Without filming it for youtube. 159 00:06:18,603 --> 00:06:21,438 Otherwise, how you gonna impress chicks? 160 00:06:21,472 --> 00:06:22,572 Good idea! 161 00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:24,041 Yeah. Say, "hello, youtube!" 162 00:06:24,075 --> 00:06:28,511 Hello, youtube! Tremens gators! You kidding me? 163 00:06:28,546 --> 00:06:29,213 [Barking] 164 00:06:29,247 --> 00:06:30,246 You kidding me? 165 00:06:30,281 --> 00:06:32,449 All right. Kids, you should never, ever, 166 00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:33,150 Ever do this at home. 167 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,185 I'm a trained professional. 168 00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:36,153 Yooo! 169 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,154 Yeah! 170 00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,822 Whoo! Yeah! 171 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,191 Highsmith, i'm "teen wolfing" with a cop. 172 00:06:41,225 --> 00:06:41,958 You look so cool, man. 173 00:06:41,993 --> 00:06:44,361 Reno sheriff's dep--Oh, fuck shit. 174 00:06:44,396 --> 00:06:46,263 [Tires squeal] 175 00:06:46,297 --> 00:06:48,999 [Glass breaks] 176 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,600 Cowabunga, bro. 177 00:06:55,573 --> 00:06:57,508 Raineesha and i have the honor today 178 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,277 Of bringing the pope's team to meet the mayor of reno. 179 00:07:00,311 --> 00:07:02,345 Yes. I'm very excited to meet the mayor. 180 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,882 I think you're gonna enjoy it, your impotence. 181 00:07:04,916 --> 00:07:08,485 Mr. Mayor, this is the gentleman i told you about. 182 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,020 Hey! Hey, buddy! 183 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:12,622 Hello. Mayor of reno! 184 00:07:12,656 --> 00:07:13,657 It's a pleasure to meet you. 185 00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:15,559 How are you? 186 00:07:15,593 --> 00:07:17,160 Trudy: you look fantastic, mayor mike. 187 00:07:17,195 --> 00:07:18,528 Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. 188 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,297 I feel like a million dollars. 189 00:07:20,331 --> 00:07:21,998 This crown is significan-- 190 00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:24,434 Mayor crown. Mayor crown. 191 00:07:24,468 --> 00:07:26,737 The pope wears a hat. I have a crown. 192 00:07:26,771 --> 00:07:28,171 Funny how it worked out. 193 00:07:28,206 --> 00:07:30,374 I would like to see your pope, 194 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:35,879 Your "pope," heh heh, come and turn a slurpee into wine. 195 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,848 He does not possess such abilities. 196 00:07:37,882 --> 00:07:40,316 Could he turn root beer into beer? 197 00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:41,785 We almost lose him, like, 10 times a day. 198 00:07:41,819 --> 00:07:43,253 It's a possession! It's a possession! 199 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,420 It's not a possession. 200 00:07:44,455 --> 00:07:45,989 It's not--There's no--You're joking. 201 00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:49,192 Look. Oh, my god! Barghh. 202 00:07:49,227 --> 00:07:52,729 Oh, look at it go. Rarrgh, rarrgh. 203 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,030 It's taking a left turn, holiness. 204 00:07:54,065 --> 00:07:55,032 Please put that away. 205 00:07:55,066 --> 00:07:58,602 Please put that awa--Do you pray? 206 00:07:58,636 --> 00:07:59,770 Yeah. 207 00:07:59,804 --> 00:08:00,937 Are you a religious man? 208 00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:02,373 I pray i don't get any smellier. 209 00:08:02,407 --> 00:08:08,245 Ha ha ha! Fuck it! Suck it! Shove it! Do it! 210 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,980 That's what we say in reno-- 211 00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:13,683 Fuck it! Suck it! Shove it! Do it! 212 00:08:22,593 --> 00:08:26,096 Now these--You know what these are called? Mexicans. 213 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,364 Oh. Sγ. 214 00:08:27,398 --> 00:08:30,033 Yeah. Sometimes, they get caught under your wheels. 215 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:32,335 Ok. Get down. This is where you get shot at. 216 00:08:32,369 --> 00:08:33,837 Every time you go through here, you get shot. 217 00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:36,006 No! Get down, get down! 218 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:42,546 So, uh, this is carmen. She calls a couple a times a week. 219 00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:43,780 Hi, carmen. 220 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,350 Carmen: hi, butter. 221 00:08:46,384 --> 00:08:48,185 What you doing there? 222 00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:52,256 I'm building a wall to keep terrorists out of my venue. Look. 223 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,724 Did you have a problem with terrorists? 224 00:08:53,758 --> 00:08:57,561 Well...yes. They were gonna try to get in their truck, 225 00:08:57,595 --> 00:08:59,896 And i was like, "huh? Those guys look evil," 226 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,265 And so i was like, "hey." 227 00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:03,366 I was trying to make, like, a decoy, 228 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,269 And so i was like, "hey. If you guys 229 00:09:05,303 --> 00:09:07,971 Want to come and hang out in my place." 230 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,973 That's hard to resist. Yeah. 231 00:09:10,007 --> 00:09:11,508 So they--So they come in. 232 00:09:11,542 --> 00:09:13,910 Of course because i've been brewing my own soda lately, 233 00:09:13,945 --> 00:09:15,512 And, like--So i was like, 234 00:09:15,546 --> 00:09:17,414 "Hey. You can have some of my soda," you know, 235 00:09:17,448 --> 00:09:21,518 And then--And then, this is kind of what sealed the deal. 236 00:09:21,553 --> 00:09:23,053 Sounds like this is where the big thing happened. 237 00:09:23,087 --> 00:09:24,320 The climax. The climax. 238 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,022 The climax is they were like, 239 00:09:26,056 --> 00:09:29,559 "Do you have any hand sanitizer?" 240 00:09:29,593 --> 00:09:30,727 And that was a threat? 241 00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:33,897 I said, "do they allow hand sanitizer on planes? 242 00:09:33,931 --> 00:09:35,966 Not anymore. No. No, they don't." 243 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,167 Up to four ounces, they sure do. 244 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,769 You know what? Ultimately, they were like, 245 00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:40,504 "Can we have some hand sanitizer?" 246 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,674 And i was like, "hold on. I'll be right back," 247 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,509 And i did it kind of slow motion like that, 248 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,144 And then i gave you guys a call, 249 00:09:47,178 --> 00:09:48,445 And then when i came out, they were gone. 250 00:09:48,479 --> 00:09:49,479 Can i tell you something? 251 00:09:49,514 --> 00:09:50,914 You did a good job here today 252 00:09:50,948 --> 00:09:53,116 Because you didn't let them walk away with the sanitizer. 253 00:09:53,151 --> 00:09:54,250 I think we're gonna be ok here. 254 00:09:54,285 --> 00:09:55,585 Maybe next time you guys come, 255 00:09:55,619 --> 00:09:57,887 I could get, like, a certificate or something. 256 00:09:57,922 --> 00:09:58,922 We could probably pull that off. 257 00:09:58,957 --> 00:09:59,923 Maybe, maybe. Sure. 258 00:09:59,957 --> 00:10:01,290 Maybe, like, a key to the town. 259 00:10:01,325 --> 00:10:02,992 No, not that, but we'll get you a certificate. 260 00:10:03,026 --> 00:10:04,027 We'll get you a piece of paper. 261 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,261 Well, we'll start small, yeah. 262 00:10:05,296 --> 00:10:06,563 Ok. 263 00:10:08,565 --> 00:10:10,234 Junior: date of birth, tough guy. 264 00:10:10,268 --> 00:10:16,873 07...19...80. 265 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:18,041 Yeah. Keep trying, big boy. 266 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,742 You ain't gonna get out of them. 267 00:10:25,049 --> 00:10:26,449 Do it. Try it. 268 00:10:29,654 --> 00:10:31,654 No--No pair of handcuffs in the world 269 00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:33,623 That can hold me. 270 00:10:33,658 --> 00:10:36,593 I'll bet you 10 bucks he'll make it out of those things. 271 00:10:36,627 --> 00:10:39,596 Jack: i've got 10. I'll cover you for 5. 272 00:10:39,631 --> 00:10:41,031 I say no. Aah! 273 00:10:41,065 --> 00:10:42,966 Dangle: i'll take that action. 274 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000 Come on, cuffs! 275 00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,169 Let's go! You can do it! You can do it! 276 00:10:46,203 --> 00:10:47,170 Come on, cuffs. 277 00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:50,340 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 278 00:10:50,374 --> 00:10:54,311 Ohh! Come on, handcuffs. 279 00:10:54,345 --> 00:10:55,812 Come on, handcuffs. 280 00:10:55,846 --> 00:10:57,146 You can do it. Come on, boy. 281 00:10:57,181 --> 00:10:58,315 Come on, handcuffs. 282 00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:04,154 Go, go, go, go, go, go! Yeah! 283 00:11:04,188 --> 00:11:05,488 You did it! 284 00:11:07,091 --> 00:11:09,059 Made in fucking america. 285 00:11:09,093 --> 00:11:10,427 Yep. 286 00:11:12,229 --> 00:11:13,196 Oh, my god. 287 00:11:13,231 --> 00:11:14,331 [Woman moaning] 288 00:11:14,365 --> 00:11:16,232 Is that a person? 289 00:11:16,267 --> 00:11:18,268 Yeah. 290 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:23,440 Ma'am? Ma'am? Ma'am? 291 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,874 Hello--Hello, miss. 292 00:11:24,908 --> 00:11:28,178 You had a bad-- Something happened? Something happened. 293 00:11:28,213 --> 00:11:30,380 Ok. Just from the very beginning. Ok. 294 00:11:30,414 --> 00:11:32,049 All right. Ok. 295 00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:33,950 Ok. We'll wait it out. We'll just get it out. 296 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,252 We'll get it all out. We're so upset. 297 00:11:36,286 --> 00:11:38,288 We're upset, but we're getting over it, 298 00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,457 And we're gonna get to the part-- 299 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,292 [Sobbing] 300 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,294 Ok. Did you fall off of a motorcycle? 301 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,664 Did you fall off of a motorcycle? 302 00:11:47,698 --> 00:11:48,699 Ok. He's coming back. 303 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,600 Sweetie, sweetie, he's coming back. 304 00:11:50,635 --> 00:11:53,670 Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok. 305 00:11:53,704 --> 00:11:57,574 There. Good. Good. Just go to sleep. 306 00:11:57,608 --> 00:12:00,209 Hey, hey. We should get her off to the side. 307 00:12:00,244 --> 00:12:01,378 Let's get her off to the side. 308 00:12:01,412 --> 00:12:06,349 We're just gonna put you here right there. 309 00:12:06,384 --> 00:12:08,151 He'll be right back for you. 310 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,619 Go quickly. Quickly now. 311 00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:10,921 Come on, jim. Hurry. 312 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,393 If you wanted a car wash, 313 00:12:16,427 --> 00:12:17,827 There was a brushless car wash 314 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,329 For 5.99 right back on this street. 315 00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,631 No, no, no. This is a undercover sting. 316 00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:23,433 You see, they got these car washes in town 317 00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,001 That if you know the right code word, 318 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:27,204 You get a blow job, and so we're gonna try 319 00:12:27,238 --> 00:12:29,172 To make a good bust here. 320 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:31,374 Speaking of good busts. 321 00:12:31,409 --> 00:12:33,009 So all right. What are we looking for? 322 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,511 Well, one thing, we'll start 323 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:36,947 With the basic car wash, 324 00:12:36,981 --> 00:12:39,449 And we understand that you guys are doing 325 00:12:39,483 --> 00:12:42,052 Something a little extra-Super-Deluxe maybe. 326 00:12:42,086 --> 00:12:44,387 We have a ton of extra things 327 00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,356 We can do to your car, you know what i'm saying? 328 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,724 Like, we can buff up that leather for you, 329 00:12:48,759 --> 00:12:49,893 Bring it up real, you know-- 330 00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:51,127 Like, just really work it in. 331 00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:52,528 We got a great treatment for that. 332 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:53,664 Yeah, i'll do that. 333 00:12:53,698 --> 00:12:55,065 And also--Oh, my god. You might want to think 334 00:12:55,099 --> 00:12:56,432 About our hot wax treatment. 335 00:12:56,467 --> 00:12:58,167 I don't know if you're into that, but... 336 00:12:58,202 --> 00:12:59,603 Who ain't? Who ain't? 337 00:12:59,637 --> 00:13:02,038 So now if i wanted to maybe have you 338 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,372 Take a look at my undercarriage. 339 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:04,774 Mm. You got a dirty undercarriage. 340 00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:05,942 I got a filthy undercarriage. 341 00:13:05,976 --> 00:13:07,710 Really filthy? We can get in there 342 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,212 For you in those nooks and crannies 343 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:11,080 And just clean it out for you real good. 344 00:13:11,115 --> 00:13:12,249 We'll take the whole package. 345 00:13:12,283 --> 00:13:13,516 We'll take the whole package, 346 00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:14,517 If you know what i'm talking about. 347 00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:15,518 Everything we can offer. 348 00:13:15,553 --> 00:13:16,686 My undercarriage is fine. 349 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,321 My undercarriage, she's a-Clean. Ok. 350 00:13:18,355 --> 00:13:20,957 There's a 17% blow job tax in washoe county, so-- 351 00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:22,091 They tax the blow job? 352 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,093 They tax the blow job, 353 00:13:23,127 --> 00:13:24,227 So guys don't want to go there 354 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,395 Because they don't want uncle sam 355 00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,830 Getting a piece of the blow job, you know? 356 00:13:26,864 --> 00:13:29,065 Woman: all right. Well, we're just about done here. 357 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,734 Um, we got the bill for you. 358 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:36,606 So it's gonna be 187, ok? Gratuity's not included. 359 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,841 And that's all i'm getting is a car wash? 360 00:13:38,876 --> 00:13:40,177 Well, you're getting the wax 361 00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:41,544 And the leather and the tailpipe. 362 00:13:41,579 --> 00:13:43,012 And the tailpipe got cleaned. 363 00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:45,682 All right. Have a nice day, you guys. 364 00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,050 [Horn honks] 365 00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:49,819 Yo! Can i get a blow job or what? 366 00:13:49,853 --> 00:13:52,589 You got it, baby, but you got to wear a rubber. 367 00:13:55,492 --> 00:13:56,626 Let me ask you something. 368 00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:57,627 Yes? 369 00:13:57,661 --> 00:13:58,929 Do you have sex? 370 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:01,664 I have taken a vow of celibacy, so, no. 371 00:14:01,699 --> 00:14:03,166 So if i offered to jerk off your penis right now, 372 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,001 You would say what, "no, thank you"? 373 00:14:05,035 --> 00:14:07,670 I would have to say, "no, thank you, please. 374 00:14:07,705 --> 00:14:10,673 Please do not-- Please do not jack off"-- 375 00:14:10,707 --> 00:14:14,277 Jack off? Please--Don't-- 376 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,145 Please don't give me those eyes. 377 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:19,316 I've taken down stronger men than you with these eyes. 378 00:14:28,359 --> 00:14:30,727 I'd like to ask you a religious question... 379 00:14:30,761 --> 00:14:33,162 Oh, please, please. Because this comes up around our house a lot. 380 00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:34,564 Yes. 381 00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:41,905 Uh, is it a sin to fuck a monkey? 382 00:14:41,939 --> 00:14:44,206 Because they're, like, one chromosome away, 383 00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:45,575 And they're, like-- You look in their eyes, 384 00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:46,910 And they're almost human. 385 00:14:46,944 --> 00:14:48,878 A monkey is an animal. 386 00:14:48,913 --> 00:14:52,549 Human was created by god--Adam and eve. 387 00:14:52,583 --> 00:14:54,718 Short answer--Sin to fuck a monkey? 388 00:14:54,752 --> 00:14:58,121 Yes. Do not have sex with any animal. 389 00:14:58,155 --> 00:14:59,556 Even a monkey? 390 00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:01,491 A monkey is an animal. 391 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:04,360 We do not have sex with a monkey, 392 00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:07,430 A dog, an elephant. You do not. 393 00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:08,831 I don't have a pen. 394 00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:14,304 This has been a public service announcement. 395 00:15:14,338 --> 00:15:16,406 Had this been an actual emergency, 396 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,807 You would have been notified 397 00:15:17,841 --> 00:15:20,209 After the tone about emergency evacuation. 398 00:15:20,244 --> 00:15:22,679 Stop! Parate. 399 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,314 That was horrible. That was horr-I-Ble. 400 00:15:25,349 --> 00:15:28,985 Do it again but less gay. 401 00:15:29,019 --> 00:15:30,186 Less gay? 402 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:33,289 Yo soy a mariposa. I'm gay. 403 00:15:33,324 --> 00:15:35,158 I like to be with men 404 00:15:35,192 --> 00:15:37,960 A-Deepy, doopy, doopy, doopy, may. 405 00:15:37,994 --> 00:15:39,362 [Deep voice] this has been a test 406 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:41,664 Of the emergency broadcast system. 407 00:15:41,698 --> 00:15:43,733 Oh, wait. Did we bring james earl jones in 408 00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:45,367 To do this? No, we didn't. 409 00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:48,371 We brought a puto cabron named junior. 410 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:49,873 Mira como ella does it. 411 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:50,940 Look how she does it. 412 00:15:50,974 --> 00:15:53,376 Haga lo bien sexy. 413 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,944 Sexier, sexier? 414 00:15:54,978 --> 00:15:56,012 Sexier. 415 00:15:56,047 --> 00:15:57,079 [Slowly] this has been a test-- 416 00:15:57,114 --> 00:15:59,215 When you think about something exciting, 417 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:02,852 What makes you excited downstairs? 418 00:16:02,887 --> 00:16:05,255 Law enforcement. 419 00:16:05,289 --> 00:16:07,390 Ok. He's definitely gay. 420 00:16:09,893 --> 00:16:12,529 Hey. We're here at john mckay high school 421 00:16:12,563 --> 00:16:15,331 Just doing routine metal detector check 422 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:16,666 To see if any of the students have weapons, 423 00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:19,602 And so far, you get an "a," america. 424 00:16:19,636 --> 00:16:20,870 I get so sick and tired of the media 425 00:16:20,904 --> 00:16:23,005 Exaggerating things and trying to have us live 426 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,141 In a culture of fear. Right. 427 00:16:25,175 --> 00:16:26,709 Because you know what? The kids aren't that bad. 428 00:16:26,744 --> 00:16:28,177 They really aren't. They really aren't. 429 00:16:28,211 --> 00:16:29,646 It's just that the media goes crazy because you know what? 430 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,781 It's not the news. It's the bad news. 431 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,082 Yes. 432 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,385 Bingo! Good kid. Good guy. 433 00:16:35,419 --> 00:16:38,021 You know what that was? That was 12 good kids 434 00:16:38,055 --> 00:16:39,455 Just walked through these gates. 435 00:16:39,489 --> 00:16:43,926 Mm-Hmm. The cities and schools of reno--Safe. 436 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,194 Heh heh. 437 00:16:47,731 --> 00:16:48,731 What's up? 438 00:16:48,765 --> 00:16:50,700 Metal detector's unplugged. 439 00:16:50,734 --> 00:16:53,870 Goddamn metal detector's unplugged. 440 00:16:53,904 --> 00:16:54,871 [Alarm beeping] 441 00:16:54,905 --> 00:16:55,905 Whoa! 442 00:16:55,939 --> 00:16:57,240 Hey, girl. Get back here. 443 00:16:57,274 --> 00:16:59,075 Hey. Ok. That's--Ok. 444 00:16:59,109 --> 00:17:00,343 Trudy on radio: we have a shooter in the library 445 00:17:00,377 --> 00:17:01,411 Of john mckay high school. 446 00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:02,445 Dispatcher: all units, all units, 447 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,479 Shots fired in the cafeteria 448 00:17:03,513 --> 00:17:04,514 Of john mckay high school. 449 00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:05,514 I think we're on it. 450 00:17:05,549 --> 00:17:06,516 I'm gonna take the library. 451 00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:07,583 Ok. 452 00:17:07,618 --> 00:17:10,887 Oh. Declan, i'll beep if i go-- 453 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,389 Oh. I can just. 454 00:17:13,257 --> 00:17:16,225 Jack: sweet jesus, we're under siege! 455 00:17:16,259 --> 00:17:19,629 Get down! The library's full of guns! 456 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:25,268 Dangle: so trudy's late husband, as we all remember, 457 00:17:25,303 --> 00:17:27,003 Was the truckee river killer, 458 00:17:27,038 --> 00:17:29,205 And he was executed by lethal injection 459 00:17:29,239 --> 00:17:30,740 By the state of nevada, 460 00:17:30,774 --> 00:17:33,242 But he did make a whole bunch of videotapes 461 00:17:33,276 --> 00:17:35,344 In prison before they juiced him up, 462 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:36,746 And we're just going through them 463 00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:38,114 To make sure there aren't any clues 464 00:17:38,148 --> 00:17:39,282 To maybe where there's other bodies 465 00:17:39,316 --> 00:17:40,783 Or anything like that. 466 00:17:40,817 --> 00:17:43,319 Hey, unborn son. It's your dad craig again. 467 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,720 I thought you'd probably need to have a talk 468 00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:46,556 About the birds and the bees, 469 00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:52,027 And it's a tough talk, so let's just make this painless as possible. 470 00:17:52,062 --> 00:17:55,497 What you want to do is take these things 471 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,666 And put it on this thing 472 00:17:57,701 --> 00:18:00,303 Before you do anything, ok? 473 00:18:00,337 --> 00:18:02,071 And to do this... 474 00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:10,646 You just put it-- Hold on a second. 475 00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:12,949 You just-- 476 00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:16,819 Ok. That's not how you do that. 477 00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:18,354 No. He never wore condoms. 478 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,156 He said that he always felt like he wanted 479 00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:23,360 To feel skin on skin or teeth on skin. 480 00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:24,894 Sure. 481 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:28,231 I hope this was instructional 482 00:18:28,265 --> 00:18:30,166 And you learned something. 483 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,937 So good luck and be safe. 484 00:18:33,971 --> 00:18:37,240 Sorry, t-Bone. 485 00:18:37,274 --> 00:18:41,110 No. I said i was sorry, ok? 486 00:18:41,145 --> 00:18:42,478 I just-- 487 00:18:42,513 --> 00:18:44,614 Could he perform the love act on you 488 00:18:44,648 --> 00:18:46,315 Other than that one time that made the baby? 489 00:18:46,350 --> 00:18:49,319 He used to want me to crawl underneath the bed 490 00:18:49,353 --> 00:18:51,854 And keep calling out, "please don't come and get me. 491 00:18:51,888 --> 00:18:53,489 Please don't come and get me," 492 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:56,626 While he would pleasure himself up on top of the bed. 493 00:18:56,660 --> 00:18:59,829 So he would--You all would reenact 494 00:18:59,864 --> 00:19:02,332 A crime investigation role-Play. 495 00:19:02,366 --> 00:19:04,466 No. Why do you have to make it sick and dark like that? 496 00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:06,769 No. It's just a young lady hiding under the bed, 497 00:19:06,804 --> 00:19:08,237 Screaming, "don't come get me," 498 00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:10,306 With an adult serial killer 499 00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:11,674 Jacking off his manhood on the bed. 500 00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:12,675 Thank you. 501 00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:14,043 That's not that weird. 502 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,256 Dangle: well, uh, wonderfulness, 503 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:30,559 We hope that you have enjoyed everything 504 00:19:30,594 --> 00:19:33,563 That our little city has to offer you, 505 00:19:33,597 --> 00:19:35,331 And i think i speak for all of us 506 00:19:35,366 --> 00:19:39,002 And the community in general when i say, 507 00:19:39,036 --> 00:19:43,339 You my nigger, you my nigger. 508 00:19:43,373 --> 00:19:48,844 Most places that we visit show us only their beauty, 509 00:19:48,878 --> 00:19:52,115 Take us only to the neighborhoods of the rich. 510 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,750 You opened up and showed us your honesty, 511 00:19:54,785 --> 00:20:02,258 A place so yearning, so much in need of some godliness. 512 00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:07,763 You showed me a place that is in desperate need for some holiness. 513 00:20:07,798 --> 00:20:12,068 So the pope is coming? 514 00:20:12,102 --> 00:20:13,469 The pope would come here? 515 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,506 Ha ha ha! That--They think maybe the pope would come here? 516 00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:19,175 Ha ha ha! 517 00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:20,710 [Spits] 518 00:20:20,744 --> 00:20:23,379 Sorry. No. That is a ridiculous notion 519 00:20:23,414 --> 00:20:25,314 That the pope would come here. 520 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,783 Fuck you for thinking that. 521 00:20:32,556 --> 00:20:35,524 Nice! Nice! Nice. 522 00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:36,592 Hey. Let's all fla--Let's flash 523 00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:37,860 The chopper as it goes. 524 00:20:37,894 --> 00:20:39,929 Jones: front flash? Trudy: oh. With vag? 525 00:20:39,963 --> 00:20:41,998 Dangle: yeah. Good thing i got sunblock on my dick already. 526 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,534 Jack: suck it! Suck it! 527 00:20:44,568 --> 00:20:45,735 Franky: screw you! 528 00:20:45,769 --> 00:20:47,103 Junior: you have sunblock on your dick? 529 00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:50,506 Dangle: oh, yeah. You never know. 530 00:20:58,582 --> 00:21:00,583 Jones: ha ha! That's my prince albert. 531 00:21:00,617 --> 00:21:02,318 You see that? It's shining. 532 00:21:02,352 --> 00:21:03,119 Dangle: what? 533 00:21:03,153 --> 00:21:04,353 Trudy: wait. People are jerking off? 534 00:21:04,387 --> 00:21:06,389 No, no. Hey. Timeout. Timeout. 535 00:21:06,423 --> 00:21:07,457 What? Oh. 536 00:21:07,491 --> 00:21:08,858 Timeout. I did not-- No, no. I did not-- 537 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,159 I thought that was what we were doing. 538 00:21:10,194 --> 00:21:11,527 No! I said, "let's flash them." 539 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,229 I didn't--I never. Oh, come on. 540 00:21:13,263 --> 00:21:14,697 Who finished? Whoa. 541 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,165 Gee. How fa--We were doing that for 30 seconds. 542 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,567 Pick up your prince albert. Good lord. 543 00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:18,634 Trudy: god. I don't even want to go to fuddruckers. 544 00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:19,836 Now we're not going to fuddruckers. 545 00:21:19,870 --> 00:21:21,404 We are not going to fuddruckers. 546 00:21:21,438 --> 00:21:22,071 You never said-- 547 00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:23,940 That's rid--Come on. 548 00:21:23,974 --> 00:21:25,241 Williams: come on.