1
00:00:11,069 --> 00:00:12,770
The reno sheriff's
department is reducing

2
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:16,039
Our carbon footprint and
not relying on arab oil

3
00:00:16,074 --> 00:00:19,576
Anymore with the first-
Ever electric squad car.

4
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:23,480
Made in america.
How about it? Made in the usa.

5
00:00:23,515 --> 00:00:24,982
Detroit city, baby.

6
00:00:25,016 --> 00:00:26,650
Usa! Usa!

7
00:00:26,684 --> 00:00:29,687
Oh, fuck it!
Fuck it.

8
00:00:29,721 --> 00:00:31,622
Jesus christ!
Oh, fuck!

9
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:34,558
Junior!
He's arcing. He's arcing.

10
00:00:34,592 --> 00:00:36,493
Don't touch him.
He's arcing.

11
00:00:36,528 --> 00:00:37,928
I think my
fillings melted.

12
00:00:37,962 --> 00:00:40,898
Should've got japanese.
Should've gone japanese.

13
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,502
Son of a bitch.
Goddamn it!

14
00:00:49,708 --> 00:00:52,009
They all have guns!

15
00:00:55,247 --> 00:00:56,379
Whoo hoo!

16
00:00:59,151 --> 00:01:00,451
Ow!

17
00:01:00,485 --> 00:01:02,119
Push them together?

18
00:01:02,153 --> 00:01:04,822
Get off the bike!
Off your bike.

19
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,824
Oh! God!

20
00:01:07,926 --> 00:01:09,292
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks

21
00:01:09,327 --> 00:01:12,229
Captioned by the national
captioning institute
--Www.Ncicap.Org--

22
00:01:27,312 --> 00:01:29,413
Raineesha...
did you
put this in my locker?

23
00:01:29,447 --> 00:01:31,114
I got one, too.

24
00:01:31,149 --> 00:01:32,583
What is it?

25
00:01:32,617 --> 00:01:36,253
Dangle:
you, the proud bearer of
this letter, have been

26
00:01:36,287 --> 00:01:38,989
Invited by james ron
dangle to join him

27
00:01:39,024 --> 00:01:42,392
At the sierra historical
society for dinner

28
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:44,795
And a murder.

29
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,831
There will be intrigue,
suspense, and lots

30
00:01:47,866 --> 00:01:49,199
Of pigs in blankets.

31
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:50,167
Pigs in a blanket.
We get it.

32
00:01:50,201 --> 00:01:51,235
What are you doing?
Why are you in here?

33
00:01:51,269 --> 00:01:52,636
I was just reading
everything that's

34
00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:54,337
On the invitation that i
just gave each of you.

35
00:01:54,372 --> 00:01:55,339
We can read.

36
00:01:55,373 --> 00:01:56,573
I know, but it's
a funny font.

37
00:01:56,607 --> 00:01:59,810
Ok, so this friday,
8 p.M., murder mystery

38
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:01,646
Dinner, sierra
historical society.

39
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,314
I've rented it out.

40
00:02:03,348 --> 00:02:04,248
Should be lots of fun.

41
00:02:04,282 --> 00:02:08,185
I have very, very good
roles for both of you.

42
00:02:08,219 --> 00:02:10,321
Oh, wait, this isn't
one of those, i show up

43
00:02:10,355 --> 00:02:11,722
And i actually get
murdered or anything.

44
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,757
Not a snuff.
Not a snuff.
Not a snuff at all.

45
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:14,925
Hey, cindy, did
you get yours?

46
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,594
Sure did,
lieutenant, honey.

47
00:02:16,628 --> 00:02:19,162
Williams: what if we
can't make it?

48
00:02:19,197 --> 00:02:20,463
Mm, you have to
make it.

49
00:02:20,498 --> 00:02:23,066
Hey, trudy,
don't eat this.

50
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,301
Let's not eat
this, please.

51
00:02:24,335 --> 00:02:26,603
Ok. This is not
like willy wonka.
It's not chocolate.

52
00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:28,438
No. This is not candy.
This is just
regular paper.

53
00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:34,444
Son of a bitch.

54
00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:35,312
Here we are.

55
00:02:35,347 --> 00:02:37,247
Oh, man.
Oh, man.

56
00:02:37,281 --> 00:02:38,582
Sheriff's department!

57
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,718
Oh, man, whatever
happened here, we missed it.

58
00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:42,453
Reno 11 charlie 12.

59
00:02:42,487 --> 00:02:44,721
This is jones and
junior at reno's diamond

60
00:02:44,755 --> 00:02:47,023
Exchange on 14th
and virginia.

61
00:02:47,058 --> 00:02:48,492
We're gonna need
backup right away.

62
00:02:48,526 --> 00:02:51,529
Gentlemen, no need
to be alarmed.

63
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:54,765
I've already apprehended
this scumbag.

64
00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:56,366
From now on, you are not
alone in your fight to

65
00:02:56,401 --> 00:02:59,069
Clean up reno.

66
00:02:59,104 --> 00:03:02,807
You have an ally who'll
be on every roof,

67
00:03:02,841 --> 00:03:06,377
Every back alley,
every street.

68
00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:07,945
Whenever you guys need
me, you just call,

69
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,147
And i will be there.

70
00:03:10,182 --> 00:03:11,515
What do we call you?

71
00:03:11,549 --> 00:03:15,252
Call me nighthawk.

72
00:03:20,424 --> 00:03:24,294
Both: thanks, nighthawk!

73
00:03:24,328 --> 00:03:25,862
Got a feeling things
are gonna be a whole lot

74
00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:27,264
Better around
here, jones.

75
00:03:27,299 --> 00:03:29,299
You're damn
right, junior.

76
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,334
What do you have to
say for yourself?

77
00:03:31,369 --> 00:03:33,870
Ow! What the
fuck?

78
00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:35,539
Are you two
fucking retarded?

79
00:03:35,573 --> 00:03:37,340
Are you really
fucking police
officers?

80
00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:38,909
That guy is not a
fucking
superhero.

81
00:03:38,943 --> 00:03:41,111
That's a stupid-Ass
motherfucker on a
bike

82
00:03:41,145 --> 00:03:43,046
Who just stole
all the goddamn jewelry.

83
00:03:43,081 --> 00:03:44,848
Guess what,
einstein.

84
00:03:44,883 --> 00:03:48,385
I fucking work at the
goddamn jewelry store.

85
00:03:48,419 --> 00:03:49,719
You didn't even ask him
any fucking questions.

86
00:03:49,754 --> 00:03:52,088
I mean, shit.
What's in the bag?

87
00:03:52,123 --> 00:03:53,424
"Thanks, nighthawk."

88
00:03:53,458 --> 00:03:54,959
You're pathetic.

89
00:03:54,993 --> 00:03:55,892
Y'all can't be cops.

90
00:03:55,927 --> 00:03:57,360
This must be a fucking joke.

91
00:03:57,395 --> 00:03:58,462
Is this a fucking joke?
You two motherfuckers are
really goddamn cops?

92
00:03:58,496 --> 00:04:00,297
Did you see a license
plate on the bike, or anything?

93
00:04:00,331 --> 00:04:02,199
I didn't.

94
00:04:02,234 --> 00:04:04,335
I was so enthralled
with his speech.

95
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,872
I was just wondering if
he had a sidekick
or something?

96
00:04:11,977 --> 00:04:14,511
Weigel: aah!
Aah aah aah!

97
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,547
Oh, rai! Oh, my god!

98
00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:18,448
What did you do?
What's wrong?

99
00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:19,816
What? What?

100
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:21,318
I taser--

101
00:04:21,352 --> 00:04:24,221
I taser-Pronged
myself in the butt.

102
00:04:24,255 --> 00:04:25,288
Oh, god, rai.

103
00:04:25,323 --> 00:04:26,056
How did you do this?

104
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:28,825
I was pretending
like i was a cop.

105
00:04:28,859 --> 00:04:29,893
Oh!

106
00:04:29,928 --> 00:04:32,163
1, 2, 3.

107
00:04:32,197 --> 00:04:34,198
Aah! Aah!

108
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,265
Oh, man.

109
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:38,735
1, 2, 3!

110
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,838
Go.
Ok.

111
00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:43,040
Oww!

112
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,109
No? Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok,
ok, ok, ok, ok.

113
00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:47,344
Don't bite her.

114
00:04:47,378 --> 00:04:50,314
Ready? Let it go.

115
00:04:50,348 --> 00:04:51,381
Relax.

116
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:53,083
Aah! Damn it! No.

117
00:04:53,117 --> 00:04:54,451
Did it move
a little bit?

118
00:04:54,486 --> 00:04:55,686
Something moved.

119
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,422
Ok. Oh! Oh! Oh!

120
00:04:58,456 --> 00:05:00,657
Wait. It's coming.
Wait. It's coming.

121
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:01,925
Oh, it's coming.

122
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,928
Oh! Oh god! Oh, god!

123
00:05:03,962 --> 00:05:05,563
Oh, my...aah!

124
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,930
Aah!

125
00:05:06,965 --> 00:05:13,470
Aaaaaah!

126
00:05:14,472 --> 00:05:16,073
Nothing.
Nothing.

127
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,174
Not a thing.
Not a thing.

128
00:05:17,209 --> 00:05:21,979
We have a combined
200 years of law
enforcement

129
00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:24,681
Education standing
here right now.

130
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,750
Think we could probably
handle this like--

131
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:27,785
Declan: call
the fire department.

132
00:05:27,819 --> 00:05:28,818
Fire department.
That's an awesome idea.

133
00:05:28,853 --> 00:05:30,854
Fire department,
fire department,
fire department.

134
00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:42,466
Hey! Good to see you.
How you guys doing?

135
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,300
Excuse me.

136
00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:45,168
Hey, fellas, please,
not now, not here.

137
00:05:45,202 --> 00:05:46,870
You can't do this
right here and now.

138
00:05:46,904 --> 00:05:47,804
Come on, not here.

139
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,339
It's my daughter's
wedding, my baby.

140
00:05:49,374 --> 00:05:51,007
Please! What do you want,
me to get on my knees?

141
00:05:51,042 --> 00:05:52,475
No, no, sir. No.

142
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:53,243
I'll get on my
knees, all right?

143
00:05:53,278 --> 00:05:55,012
No, sir. Come on.

144
00:05:55,046 --> 00:05:56,479
Hide me, will you,
for christ's sakes?

145
00:05:56,514 --> 00:05:57,481
No. I'm sorry, sir.
Look.

146
00:05:57,515 --> 00:05:58,849
We don't want to do it.
We don't want to do it.

147
00:05:58,883 --> 00:06:01,684
Look at you.
He looks like he enjoy--
Youse want some food?

148
00:06:01,719 --> 00:06:04,488
No. It smells delicious,
but we cannot stay.

149
00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:06,156
We got to take you.
We got to take you in.

150
00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:07,390
Come on.
I'm coming with youse.

151
00:06:07,424 --> 00:06:09,659
Just give me an hour.
What am i asking for?

152
00:06:09,694 --> 00:06:11,261
An hour here, all right?
Sit down.

153
00:06:11,295 --> 00:06:13,196
Enjoy yourselves
right here.

154
00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:14,697
Come on. Let's go.

155
00:06:14,732 --> 00:06:16,634
Where's this stuff
coming from, mars?

156
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,235
You try this meatball?

157
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:19,937
Mm, that's, like,
3 different kinds

158
00:06:19,971 --> 00:06:21,138
Of meat on that thing.

159
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,472
That little meatball
is different than

160
00:06:22,506 --> 00:06:23,407
My meatball.

161
00:06:23,441 --> 00:06:24,474
Mm, fire it over.

162
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,576
Here.

163
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:28,612
Ohh! Oh, my god.
Huh?

164
00:06:28,646 --> 00:06:30,981
Mm. Oh, my god.
Wow!

165
00:06:35,553 --> 00:06:36,787
Terry: can i help you?

166
00:06:36,821 --> 00:06:39,890
Weigel: terry, you're not
typing anything, terry.

167
00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:41,391
Yeah, i am.
Typing up books.

168
00:06:41,426 --> 00:06:43,093
All you're doing is
making an annoying sound

169
00:06:43,127 --> 00:06:44,627
With your fingers
on the keyboard.

170
00:06:44,662 --> 00:06:46,496
I'm the fastest typer
in the universe.

171
00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:47,865
Terry, can we
talk for a second?

172
00:06:47,899 --> 00:06:48,865
You know why
we're here?

173
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:51,535
I think you want to sign
up for a cupcake class.

174
00:06:51,569 --> 00:06:52,302
They have cupcake
classes here?

175
00:06:52,336 --> 00:06:53,270
Yeah. They do...

176
00:06:53,304 --> 00:06:54,604
No,
they don't, terry.

177
00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:59,143
And then i'm starting
some new ones--Karate

178
00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:00,777
And genital decorating.

179
00:07:00,812 --> 00:07:02,312
Listen to me.
What?

180
00:07:02,347 --> 00:07:04,047
Were you or were you
not pleasuring yourself

181
00:07:04,082 --> 00:07:05,415
In the children's
book nook?

182
00:07:05,449 --> 00:07:07,283
Yes or no?
Did you?

183
00:07:07,318 --> 00:07:08,085
No. I'm asking you,
yes or no?

184
00:07:08,119 --> 00:07:10,187
I'm asking you now.
Did you?

185
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,455
This is not about me.
This is about you.

186
00:07:12,489 --> 00:07:13,757
Were you or were you
not pleasuring yourself

187
00:07:13,791 --> 00:07:15,158
In the children's
book nook?

188
00:07:15,193 --> 00:07:16,192
Yes or no?

189
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,861
You say yes or no.
You be honest.

190
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,896
Yes or no.
No. You say yes or no.

191
00:07:19,930 --> 00:07:21,231
I just did.
Say yes or no.

192
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,633
Yes or no.
One or the other.

193
00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,802
One or the other.
One or the other.

194
00:07:24,836 --> 00:07:27,570
Say yes.
No.

195
00:07:27,605 --> 00:07:30,974
Agh! Terry, come on.
Let's go for a ride.

196
00:07:31,008 --> 00:07:32,176
Hold on.
I'm on facebook.

197
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:35,111
Shh!
Shh, shh, shh, shh.

198
00:07:35,146 --> 00:07:36,713
Send.

199
00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:42,786
Dangle: mwah ha ha ha!

200
00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:44,020
So, we're getting
everything set

201
00:07:44,054 --> 00:07:47,791
For dinner and a murder,
and guess who is playing

202
00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:48,992
Our lovely corpse.

203
00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:50,727
Hey! Boom.

204
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:51,761
Ha ha ha!

205
00:07:51,796 --> 00:07:52,963
Pshoo!

206
00:07:52,998 --> 00:07:53,897
Trudy weigel.

207
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,133
I wanted to get a young
girl from the drama

208
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,001
Department at the
university of nevada,

209
00:07:58,035 --> 00:08:02,839
Reno, to come play the
corpse, but they passed.

210
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,075
Here's it.
People come in; nosh,
nosh, nosh; da da da;

211
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,810
Toast, toast, toast,
"good to see you;" nosh,

212
00:08:06,844 --> 00:08:08,344
Nosh, nosh; "have
a nice time."

213
00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:10,313
I will lead them
into the bathroom.

214
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:12,282
"Oh, my goodness!

215
00:08:12,316 --> 00:08:13,417
Penelope has
been found dead"

216
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,818
I'm so glad that
you could come.

217
00:08:14,852 --> 00:08:15,652
No, no. You're dead.
You can't.

218
00:08:15,686 --> 00:08:17,587
There's no way you
could say anything.

219
00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:18,889
I think we should put
two things in evidence.

220
00:08:18,923 --> 00:08:19,789
I think this is
a red herring.

221
00:08:19,824 --> 00:08:20,991
You have this.

222
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:22,092
This is gonna be
a red herring.

223
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,494
You know what that is?
So, obviously--Poom!

224
00:08:24,529 --> 00:08:25,929
Oh, that's not good
for the murder mystery.

225
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,664
No. Impossible.
That's a suicide
mystery dinner.

226
00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:29,499
They stabbed you right
through the middle,
so we're--

227
00:08:29,534 --> 00:08:31,000
You're gonna stick
a knife in my ribs?

228
00:08:31,035 --> 00:08:33,337
Yeah. There's, like,
a knife. We'll fake it.

229
00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:34,604
They'll fake you with
blood and some tape

230
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,873
And macaroni and stuff.

231
00:08:35,907 --> 00:08:37,007
Oh, with macaroni. Ok.

232
00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:38,341
So, we'll cover you
with macaroni and blood

233
00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:39,876
And stick a knife
right here.

234
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,545
Ok. Ohh! Aah!

235
00:08:41,579 --> 00:08:42,479
No, but you
don't say it!

236
00:08:42,513 --> 00:08:44,414
You don't say anything!
God.

237
00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,548
So, let's say
here's what happened.

238
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:48,351
The murderer came in,
macaroni, macaroni,
macaroni...

239
00:08:48,386 --> 00:08:51,888
Macaroni, macaroni, macaroni,
macaroni, macaroni, macaroni.

240
00:08:51,923 --> 00:08:54,857
Teeth, teeth,
teeth, teeth.
Take that, bitch.

241
00:08:54,892 --> 00:08:56,193
Ow, not my teeth.
Not my teeth.

242
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:57,561
Then into the face with
the toilet, and then

243
00:08:57,595 --> 00:08:59,863
They do it again, again.

244
00:08:59,898 --> 00:09:01,732
So, she--
Ah, it's drowning.

245
00:09:01,766 --> 00:09:02,799
Oh, then she drowns.

246
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,400
It's a misdirection.

247
00:09:04,435 --> 00:09:07,837
It was always
drowning in the toilet.

248
00:09:07,871 --> 00:09:09,239
I like it very much.
I do, too,

249
00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:10,974
And then,
you know what?
What's that?

250
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,743
I brought this so they
can check and see if

251
00:09:13,778 --> 00:09:14,878
I've been raped.

252
00:09:14,913 --> 00:09:17,514
That would be fun
for the guests.

253
00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,115
I feel like that puts
a really dark turn

254
00:09:19,149 --> 00:09:22,085
On things,
don't you think?

255
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,153
I don't have a
lot of parties.

256
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,854
I just feel like that's
gonna ruin dessert.

257
00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:35,165
Coco rico.
Coco rico. Ok.

258
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,234
We're back, el
chupacabra, the cold

259
00:09:37,268 --> 00:09:44,741
Sucker, kpba 102.0.
¬Ņqu„Č pasa, chupi chupi?

260
00:09:44,775 --> 00:09:47,610
Hola. Estamos listos,
mi gente.

261
00:09:47,645 --> 00:09:51,314
Yeah. Yo soy listo para
poner my face into

262
00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:52,549
Your breasts.

263
00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:57,854
Ah, jorge jenaba,
you are incorrigible.

264
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,155
Well, we are here today.

265
00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:01,691
We have the reno sheriff
department here to

266
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:05,295
Talk about...
[imitates motor]

267
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,865
Boat safety.

268
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,100
¬°arriba, arriba, arriba!

269
00:10:10,134 --> 00:10:13,170
The reno sheriff
department remind you to

270
00:10:13,204 --> 00:10:17,140
Register your boat
because it's the law.

271
00:10:17,174 --> 00:10:18,675
Hey!

272
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:19,943
Register boat.
Register boat.

273
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:22,112
Ta-Da.

274
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,749
¬Ņqu„Č es eso?

275
00:10:25,783 --> 00:10:26,883
¬Ņqu„Č est„Ās?

276
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,785
What are you doing?

277
00:10:28,819 --> 00:10:31,221
You come into my
house...
yeah.

278
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:37,094
Asi, dressed like a
cartoon of my people.

279
00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:38,094
Oh.

280
00:10:38,128 --> 00:10:41,064
It is like you come into
my church and pull down

281
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,167
Your police pants
and make diarrhea all

282
00:10:44,201 --> 00:10:46,169
Over jesucristo.

283
00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:47,971
I did not mean to
diarrhea on the messiah.

284
00:10:48,005 --> 00:10:50,073
You apologize to me.

285
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,174
I apologize.

286
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:53,343
You apologize
to chupi chupi...

287
00:10:53,377 --> 00:10:54,711
I apologize.

288
00:10:54,745 --> 00:10:58,615
And then i will say
to you...it's a broma!

289
00:10:58,649 --> 00:11:01,685
I ashton kutchered you!

290
00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:04,153
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?

291
00:11:04,188 --> 00:11:06,790
Ha ha! Guaca, guaca,
guaca, guaca...

292
00:11:06,824 --> 00:11:08,525
Agagaga agagaga!

293
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:09,926
Don't make
that noise!
Ok.

294
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:23,940
[Organ playing]

295
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:26,509
Mwah ha ha ha!
Mwah ha ha ha!

296
00:11:26,544 --> 00:11:32,182
Welcome to dinner
and a murder.

297
00:11:32,216 --> 00:11:33,549
I'm gonna work on that,
but i think it's pretty scary.

298
00:11:33,584 --> 00:11:36,319
Oh, lord, massa jim,
some of the other slaves

299
00:11:36,354 --> 00:11:37,387
Done went down
by the creek--

300
00:11:37,421 --> 00:11:38,388
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

301
00:11:38,422 --> 00:11:39,322
Time, time, time,
time, time!

302
00:11:39,356 --> 00:11:40,524
Timeout! Timeout!

303
00:11:40,558 --> 00:11:42,492
What are you doing?
What?

304
00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:43,660
What are you doing?

305
00:11:43,694 --> 00:11:46,729
This is my costume
for the party, huh?

306
00:11:46,764 --> 00:11:49,499
You're supposed to
be mrs. Haberdash,
my servant.

307
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:50,967
Why are you dressed
like miss frizzy

308
00:11:51,001 --> 00:11:51,868
From "roots"?

309
00:11:51,903 --> 00:11:53,303
Because i thought
this was what i was

310
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,638
Supposed to wear.

311
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,738
Please don't do that.
Please don't do that.
Please don't do that.

312
00:11:55,772 --> 00:11:57,608
I's gonna go get the
door for you, massa.

313
00:11:57,642 --> 00:12:01,144
Everybody is gonna
think it was my
idea. Ah, crap.

314
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:02,846
[Organ plays]

315
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:07,684
Massa jim, i would
like to present massa
leslie frost.

316
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,786
Do you love it?
Do you love it?

317
00:12:09,821 --> 00:12:12,022
It is so cute.
Wasn't my idea.

318
00:12:12,056 --> 00:12:13,022
She's supposed to
be mrs. Haberdash,

319
00:12:13,057 --> 00:12:13,857
My faithful servant.

320
00:12:13,891 --> 00:12:15,425
Period detail.
I love it.

321
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,659
Don't you wish you
were alive then?

322
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,094
Oh, i know. In .
Come he.

323
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:20,096
I love it.
Somebody has still got--

324
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,632
Feel these hands
and the shoulders.

325
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:24,400
Oh, my god,
feel these lats.

326
00:12:24,435 --> 00:12:25,202
Feel these lats on
this guy, these lats
and traps.

327
00:12:25,236 --> 00:12:26,436
Are you working
lats and traps?

328
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,137
Absolutely.

329
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:28,038
Who went lats
and traps on me?

330
00:12:28,072 --> 00:12:29,105
Look at you, you
handsome devil.

331
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,607
Thank you. Thank you.

332
00:12:30,642 --> 00:12:32,942
If anybody wants to rape
me down in the slave

333
00:12:32,976 --> 00:12:35,345
Quarters, just
let me know.

334
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,280
Oh, i love it.
Ok.

335
00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:37,013
Nobody is gonna
rape you down in

336
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,015
The slave quarters.

337
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,048
[Doorbell rings]

338
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,585
I's better get the door,
huh, massa jim?

339
00:12:41,619 --> 00:12:42,752
Oh, my goodness
gracious.

340
00:12:42,787 --> 00:12:44,687
Not my idea!

341
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:49,025
I's would like
to introduce mrs.
Debbie dangle.

342
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:52,262
Hello, deb.
Look at diva.

343
00:12:52,296 --> 00:12:56,433
And may i present my
fiance--Gary werner.

344
00:12:56,467 --> 00:12:58,935
Coming, my love!

345
00:12:58,969 --> 00:13:00,170
Hello.

346
00:13:00,204 --> 00:13:03,273
Mwah, mwah, mwah.

347
00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:05,608
Can't keep our hands
off each other.

348
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,243
Oh, hello, strangers.

349
00:13:07,278 --> 00:13:11,581
Number one, number two,
number always forever
and more.

350
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:12,916
Third time
is the charm.

351
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,051
Ha ha!
Isn't it, though?

352
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,219
May i offer you
a glass of white?

353
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,954
Oh, yes.
Sure.

354
00:13:17,988 --> 00:13:19,388
Mrs. Haberdash?

355
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,257
Oh. Yes,
massa jim.

356
00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:23,560
Let me gets
that for you.

357
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,296
How campy.
I love it.

358
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:27,230
Ok, ok.
We all love it.
We all love it.

359
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,899
Get me a white
wine, slave.

360
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,034
Ha ha! I love it.

361
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,869
Get her a wine, or we'll
take a switch to you.

362
00:13:32,903 --> 00:13:34,070
I'll take a switch
to your hide.

363
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,973
I brought a switch.

364
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:39,176
Ok. That was too much.
We crossed a line.

365
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,076
We crossed a line
with the one.

366
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:40,743
That was too much.

367
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:41,645
No one is gonna
switch you.

368
00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:43,046
No one is
switching your hide.

369
00:13:48,486 --> 00:13:52,289
This is what we do.
We check nose, ok?

370
00:13:52,323 --> 00:13:54,190
That's nice.
Wow.

371
00:13:54,225 --> 00:13:56,759
Check the legs,
density of the grape.

372
00:13:56,793 --> 00:13:57,961
That's nice, huh?

373
00:13:57,995 --> 00:13:58,594
Huh.

374
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:01,298
Now we taste it.

375
00:14:04,935 --> 00:14:06,970
Ah, that's good.

376
00:14:07,004 --> 00:14:09,572
Wow, that's a
good merlot. Wow.

377
00:14:09,606 --> 00:14:11,374
Youse done?
How was it, eh?

378
00:14:11,408 --> 00:14:12,576
It was great, right?

379
00:14:12,610 --> 00:14:14,110
Absolutely delicious,
sir, but--I'm sorry--
We got to go.

380
00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,845
One other thing.
All right.

381
00:14:15,879 --> 00:14:16,847
I'm coming.
I'm coming.

382
00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:19,048
I got to dance
"daddy's little
girl"

383
00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:19,849
With my daughter.

384
00:14:19,884 --> 00:14:20,784
I got to do that.

385
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,585
We can lose our job
already just for cutting

386
00:14:22,619 --> 00:14:23,252
You this much slack.

387
00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:24,687
We got to go.
We got to go.

388
00:14:24,722 --> 00:14:26,789
I'll tell you what.
Say hello to my niece.

389
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,259
Apollonia, vene
qua, over here.

390
00:14:29,293 --> 00:14:30,560
No. We don't want to meet
your little niece.

391
00:14:30,594 --> 00:14:31,727
I'm sure
she's adorable.

392
00:14:31,762 --> 00:14:33,296
Come here.
That's my niece.

393
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,364
Wow, no. We can't.
We got to--

394
00:14:34,398 --> 00:14:36,433
We got to go.
We got to go. No.

395
00:14:36,467 --> 00:14:42,172
Sit down. Sn
take a seat.

396
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:42,939
10 minutes.

397
00:14:42,973 --> 00:14:44,541
10 minutes,
one song.

398
00:14:44,575 --> 00:14:46,343
Cin cin.
Hey,
ching ching.

399
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:48,011
Ching ching.
Ha ha ha!

400
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,017
Ohh!

401
00:14:54,051 --> 00:14:54,884
Ahh!

402
00:14:54,918 --> 00:14:56,986
So, what's it
like in italy?

403
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,956
I have no idea.
I'm from long island.

404
00:14:59,990 --> 00:15:01,324
Oh, yeah,
but i heard
that that's really

405
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,459
Nice, though.

406
00:15:02,493 --> 00:15:05,161
Supposed to be beautiful.
Supposed to be beautiful.

407
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,563
Man: ‚∂ for the rest
of my life ‚∂

408
00:15:07,598 --> 00:15:12,769
¶ i will love you every second
we're together ‚∂

409
00:15:17,141 --> 00:15:19,709
Dangle:
welcome to fontleby manor.

410
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,580
I am lord chance
fontleby, fifth heir

411
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:27,683
Of fontleby manor here
on the misty moors

412
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,085
Of scotland...

413
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,887
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!

414
00:15:30,921 --> 00:15:33,123
Aka the reno historical
society, which we must

415
00:15:33,157 --> 00:15:35,458
Be out of by 11 p.M.,
and that's a hard out.

416
00:15:35,492 --> 00:15:37,727
For real, we have to be out
by 11:00, really, no joke.

417
00:15:37,761 --> 00:15:39,996
That's good.
We want to get home
and get busy, anyway.

418
00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:42,232
We're trying
to make a baby.

419
00:15:42,266 --> 00:15:43,099
God bless.

420
00:15:43,133 --> 00:15:45,234
And i don't know
nothin' 'bout birthin'

421
00:15:45,269 --> 00:15:46,136
No babies.

422
00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:48,070
Oh!

423
00:15:48,105 --> 00:15:50,339
No, you don't.
No, you don't.

424
00:15:50,374 --> 00:15:51,508
Dance for us.

425
00:15:51,542 --> 00:15:52,942
Dance, minstrel,
dance.

426
00:15:52,977 --> 00:15:55,312
You know what, bitch?
I'm his slave, not yours.

427
00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:57,981
Are you gonna
cut me?
Yes. I am.

428
00:15:58,015 --> 00:16:00,083
Goddamn it!

429
00:16:00,117 --> 00:16:02,385
Gary--
Gary!

430
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,154
Look. I'm sorry about
all the slave stuff.

431
00:16:04,188 --> 00:16:05,321
Remember that
applebee's coupon i was

432
00:16:05,356 --> 00:16:06,623
Gonna give you?
Mm-Hmm.

433
00:16:06,657 --> 00:16:09,425
We're gonna go
75 on that, ok?

434
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:10,093
That sound good?

435
00:16:10,127 --> 00:16:11,628
That's fine.
Ok. Cool.

436
00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:18,167
Come on, grandpa.

437
00:16:18,202 --> 00:16:19,869
I'm going out tonight,
and i can't afford

438
00:16:19,903 --> 00:16:23,940
Regular drugs because
of the sluggish economy.

439
00:16:23,974 --> 00:16:25,241
I need these
prescription drugs

440
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,443
For my heart.

441
00:16:26,477 --> 00:16:28,744
Aw, fuck you,
grandpa.

442
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,347
Give me the drugs!

443
00:16:30,381 --> 00:16:34,084
Uh!
Uhh...

444
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,451
We've all seen
this scenario play out

445
00:16:35,486 --> 00:16:38,554
Too many times,
senior abuse, and all

446
00:16:38,589 --> 00:16:39,723
For a quick high.

447
00:16:39,757 --> 00:16:40,757
That's right.

448
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,725
In washoe county,
there were over 5,000

449
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,828
Cases of senior
abuse last year.

450
00:16:44,862 --> 00:16:49,165
Yes, over 5,000 cases--
Senior citizens beaten

451
00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:51,000
Stabbed, raped, and
bludgeoned for their

452
00:16:51,034 --> 00:16:52,936
Prescription
medications, and most

453
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,239
Of the drugs they have
won't even get you high.

454
00:16:56,273 --> 00:16:57,540
The drugs they're
taking are to keep their

455
00:16:57,574 --> 00:16:59,375
Arteries functioning
and so they can pee.

456
00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,477
They're not good for
recreational use,

457
00:17:01,512 --> 00:17:04,013
So let's make senior
abuse just like grandpa--

458
00:17:04,047 --> 00:17:05,782
A thing of the past.

459
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,985
This has been a
message from the reno
sheriff's department.

460
00:17:12,189 --> 00:17:14,056
All right, guys.
Let's go.

461
00:17:14,091 --> 00:17:15,291
Just do it quietly,
not in front

462
00:17:15,325 --> 00:17:17,159
Of everybody, all right?

463
00:17:17,194 --> 00:17:19,695
Go ahead. Go ahead.

464
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:21,063
You know what?

465
00:17:21,098 --> 00:17:22,165
Not today.

466
00:17:22,199 --> 00:17:22,932
You kept your word.

467
00:17:22,966 --> 00:17:24,233
You came back to us,
and we should

468
00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:25,201
Reward that.

469
00:17:25,235 --> 00:17:26,602
We're not gonna arrest
you on this, the blessed

470
00:17:26,636 --> 00:17:27,971
Day of your daughter's
wedding.

471
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:28,938
Enjoy your
grandchildren.

472
00:17:28,973 --> 00:17:30,172
Are you kidding?

473
00:17:30,207 --> 00:17:30,907
Oh, wow.

474
00:17:30,941 --> 00:17:33,176
Just stay out of
trouble, and we

475
00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:34,377
Never saw you.

476
00:17:34,411 --> 00:17:35,211
We never saw you.

477
00:17:35,246 --> 00:17:37,346
And say good-Bye to
your lovely niece

478
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:38,281
For me, please.

479
00:17:38,315 --> 00:17:40,250
Oh, no, see?
No. Ok.

480
00:17:40,284 --> 00:17:41,584
It's all right.
It's all right.

481
00:17:41,618 --> 00:17:43,018
You big guy.
Thank you.

482
00:17:43,053 --> 00:17:43,753
All right.

483
00:17:43,787 --> 00:17:46,089
Oh, no.
Look at this.

484
00:17:46,123 --> 00:17:48,925
You feed the whole
precinct, huh?

485
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:50,492
Ha ha!

486
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:51,194
I didn't think it
was gonna work.

487
00:17:51,228 --> 00:17:52,162
What did i
tell you, man?

488
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,062
Italian weddings.

489
00:17:53,096 --> 00:17:54,497
You just go.
You stand in the back.

490
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:56,265
Pretty soon, some
guys comes up, "hey, i

491
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:56,966
Didn't do it.

492
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,100
Please, if i could eat--

493
00:17:58,135 --> 00:18:00,035
Have a chair."
Beautiful.

494
00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:01,104
I'm gonna be eating
this for 3 days.

495
00:18:01,138 --> 00:18:03,639
Works every time.
Works every time.

496
00:18:07,911 --> 00:18:09,946
And drink.

497
00:18:20,357 --> 00:18:21,224
No.

498
00:18:21,258 --> 00:18:23,359
Why don't we--

499
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,562
We'll do this
5 times really
fast.

500
00:18:25,596 --> 00:18:29,665
We'll do that
and then--Boo!

501
00:18:30,768 --> 00:18:32,034
Nothing?
No.

502
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,303
Hup! Hup!

503
00:18:34,338 --> 00:18:35,571
Let's double
this up.
Ok.

504
00:18:35,605 --> 00:18:37,106
Hup!

505
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,874
Hup!

506
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,210
Hup!

507
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,278
Up. Form. Get your
form up. Boom.

508
00:18:42,312 --> 00:18:44,480
There. Up. There. Boom.

509
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:48,417
"Nutcracker,"
"nutcracker,"

510
00:18:48,452 --> 00:18:50,553
"Swan lake," and...

511
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:51,954
Come on.

512
00:18:51,988 --> 00:18:55,058
Come on.

513
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,793
Mm, mm!

514
00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:58,060
Rgh!

515
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,163
Come on!

516
00:19:01,031 --> 00:19:01,697
That was so close.

517
00:19:01,732 --> 00:19:02,498
I feel like
we're right there.

518
00:19:02,533 --> 00:19:03,733
I feel like i'm
right there.

519
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,835
Hup, hup.

520
00:19:05,869 --> 00:19:06,769
Arms up there,
arms up there.

521
00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:09,071
Hup, hup, hup.

522
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,273
Hup.

523
00:19:10,307 --> 00:19:12,241
[Ping pong ball clatters]

524
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:14,276
Oh.

525
00:19:14,311 --> 00:19:16,913
All right.
All right.

526
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:20,416
Who's the lucky
bachelor?

527
00:19:21,918 --> 00:19:24,020
Ok. 4 more to go.

528
00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:29,125
[Ping pong balls clatter]

529
00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:40,102
Williams:
well, since we short on
time, massa, maybe we

530
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,403
Better get to
fixing to leave.

531
00:19:41,438 --> 00:19:42,271
I don't want to
wait anymore.

532
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,339
I'm not waiting for
any more latecomers.

533
00:19:43,373 --> 00:19:44,107
Let's just do it.

534
00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,641
First, let us have
a little toast,

535
00:19:45,676 --> 00:19:47,210
And i'll pick a
murderer, ok?

536
00:19:47,244 --> 00:19:48,078
Everybody good?

537
00:19:48,112 --> 00:19:49,579
Yeah.
I don't remember
where i left--

538
00:19:49,613 --> 00:19:51,548
No. I think this is
definitely yours.

539
00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:52,515
Oh, ok.
All right.

540
00:19:52,549 --> 00:19:53,616
That one is yours.
All right.

541
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,786
Let us toast to
our wonderful once

542
00:19:57,821 --> 00:19:58,754
And future wife.

543
00:19:58,789 --> 00:20:02,959
And to our
future child.

544
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:07,063
And to...
cabo...
san lucas.

545
00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:11,400
Sammy hagar,
and...to murder.

546
00:20:11,435 --> 00:20:14,603
To murder.

547
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,807
Ah, very good.

548
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,575
You wouldn't believe
it's 3 bucks a bottle.

549
00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:20,442
That is local.

550
00:20:20,477 --> 00:20:23,746
$3.00 for a huge--

551
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:25,981
You don't taste it.

552
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,583
Deb?
It's earthy,
isn't it?

553
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:31,020
Deb? Deb?

554
00:20:31,054 --> 00:20:32,756
What's going on?

555
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:33,389
She's dead.

556
00:20:33,423 --> 00:20:35,658
Yay!

557
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:36,792
It's fun!
Fabulous.

558
00:20:36,826 --> 00:20:37,426
No, no.

559
00:20:37,461 --> 00:20:38,127
No.

560
00:20:38,162 --> 00:20:42,065
Everyone...she's
really dead.

561
00:20:42,099 --> 00:20:43,800
You're
overemoting now.

562
00:20:43,834 --> 00:20:46,002
Feel her!
She's dead, goddamn it!
She's dead!

563
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,804
Oh, my god, she's
colder than normal.

564
00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:49,838
She's dead.
Aah!

565
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:53,343
Aah! Aah!

566
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,410
Oh, my god!

567
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:55,711
Don't move,
don't touch her.
Don't touch anything.

568
00:20:55,746 --> 00:20:57,379
Weigel: jim,
what the fuck?

569
00:20:57,414 --> 00:20:58,648
When are we gonna get
to the murder part?

570
00:20:58,682 --> 00:21:01,484
I've been laying on
the bathroom floor
for 3 hours.

571
00:21:01,518 --> 00:21:05,254
[Thunder]

572
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,357
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks

573
00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:12,161
1, 2, 3, go!

574
00:21:12,195 --> 00:21:13,062
[Zap]

575
00:21:13,096 --> 00:21:16,632
Wow!
Make her dance.
Make her dance.

576
00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,801
Like a marionette.
Ok.

577
00:21:18,836 --> 00:21:21,270
[All humming]

578
00:21:21,304 --> 00:21:23,339
Shock her!
[Zap]

579
00:21:25,442 --> 00:21:27,443
Shock her!
[Zap]

580
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:29,746
Fire department!
Fire department!

581
00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:32,115
Fire department!
Fire department!
Fire department!

582
00:21:32,149 --> 00:21:33,650
This lady was out.

583
00:21:33,684 --> 00:21:35,418
She, uh--

584
00:21:35,452 --> 00:21:36,518
How's it going,
fellas?

585
00:21:36,553 --> 00:21:37,554
Hey, guys.
Hey, guys.

586
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,455
We did this again.

587
00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:40,623
It happened
again.