1 00:00:00,282 --> 00:00:02,493 The squirrels in the ducts are still there. 2 00:00:03,285 --> 00:00:04,578 - I hear 'em. - Uh-huh. 3 00:00:06,455 --> 00:00:09,291 I feel like they're staring to... 4 00:00:11,293 --> 00:00:13,211 you know, the one with the... I feel... 5 00:00:13,295 --> 00:00:14,921 No one thinks that it sounds a little bit like, 6 00:00:15,005 --> 00:00:16,548 a tiny bit like they're singing? 7 00:00:17,508 --> 00:00:18,759 At all? 8 00:00:21,303 --> 00:00:23,054 They're not words but, you know... 9 00:00:23,138 --> 00:00:25,850 - It's... Yeah, I know what you mean. - They're not singing. I'm not crazy. 10 00:00:25,932 --> 00:00:27,643 What do you hear them singing, Jim? 11 00:00:27,726 --> 00:00:29,812 I don't... See, I knew you're gonna be... 12 00:00:29,895 --> 00:00:30,896 Everybody's gonna be dicks. 13 00:00:30,979 --> 00:00:34,941 I don't think the squirrels in the ducts are singing "words." 14 00:00:35,025 --> 00:00:37,944 They're not... They're not Marvin Hamlisch. 15 00:00:38,028 --> 00:00:41,948 Maybe, just maybe... you need to take a break. 16 00:00:42,032 --> 00:00:45,340 You've been here for a long, damn time 17 00:00:45,341 --> 00:00:47,120 and maybe you need to just take a break. 18 00:00:47,204 --> 00:00:49,832 There's a spa, you know, outside of Primm... 19 00:00:49,915 --> 00:00:51,667 - Yeah. - ... that's very nice. 20 00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,001 Are you guys doing Of Mice and Men 21 00:00:53,084 --> 00:00:55,253 where you lead me out to Primm and then you shoot me in the head? 22 00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:56,296 - No! - No! 23 00:00:56,296 --> 00:00:57,673 - God damn it. - You can Google it. 24 00:00:57,756 --> 00:00:59,257 - There's a very nice kind of a... - Yeah. 25 00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:00,885 ... like a spa thing... 26 00:01:00,967 --> 00:01:03,470 Why is everybody so excited for me to go to Primm? 27 00:01:03,554 --> 00:01:04,722 - What's going on? - We're not excited. 28 00:01:04,805 --> 00:01:06,139 - We're worried about you. - We just think you need a break. 29 00:01:06,223 --> 00:01:08,058 You just said that the squirrels were singing. 30 00:01:08,141 --> 00:01:11,102 Not words! They're not making words! 31 00:01:11,186 --> 00:01:13,480 I didn't say they were making words! 32 00:01:14,773 --> 00:01:16,442 Jim, go to Primm. 33 00:01:16,525 --> 00:01:19,027 - Yeah, yeah, I'll go to Primm. - I think we all could use a break. 34 00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:20,153 I'll go to Primm. 35 00:01:20,237 --> 00:01:22,364 - Oh, I hear 'em singing. - See? 36 00:01:27,536 --> 00:01:31,415 Hey! I'm in a limo... sort of car. 37 00:01:31,498 --> 00:01:32,625 - Hi! - Hey! 38 00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:35,001 Just twerking in a limo. 39 00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:37,170 - Twerking in a limo. - Don't hate. 40 00:01:37,254 --> 00:01:38,589 - Don't hate. - Don't hate. 41 00:01:38,672 --> 00:01:39,673 That's not safe, Jim. 42 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,355 Do I have taffy in my teeth? 43 00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:56,482 - Yes. - Oh, my God. 44 00:01:56,565 --> 00:01:58,108 - Quite a bit. I can't... - Well, get it. 45 00:01:58,191 --> 00:01:59,318 Guys, guys, guys. 46 00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:02,112 Cut that shit out. You want a bullet in my head? 47 00:02:02,195 --> 00:02:03,656 - No, sir. - No, sir. Sorry, sir. 48 00:02:04,114 --> 00:02:07,159 Decoy is called "Disco Duck," all right? 49 00:02:07,242 --> 00:02:09,119 - So it's not the real one. - It's not the real Bernie. 50 00:02:09,202 --> 00:02:11,664 We're gonna take the real Bernie offstage. 51 00:02:11,747 --> 00:02:13,123 - Okay. - Through the back. 52 00:02:13,206 --> 00:02:16,293 You're gonna take the Disco Duck through the front 53 00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,504 so everybody can see him, cause a distraction. 54 00:02:18,587 --> 00:02:19,922 - You understand? - Yes, sir. 55 00:02:21,882 --> 00:02:23,843 - That guy was cool. - That guy was so fucking cool. 56 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,845 - So fucking cool, man. - Wow! 57 00:02:27,638 --> 00:02:28,889 Disco Duck. 58 00:02:28,973 --> 00:02:30,390 - Oh, my gosh! - Wow! 59 00:02:31,433 --> 00:02:32,977 - How're you doin'? - You're not... 60 00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,103 Pleasure to meet you, "Bernie." 61 00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:36,689 All right, your country depends on you. 62 00:02:36,772 --> 00:02:37,773 - Check. - All right. 63 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,358 - Neat, neat. - Wow. 64 00:02:39,441 --> 00:02:42,028 Hey. How are you guys? 65 00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:43,863 So we can talk to you, really? 66 00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:44,946 - Yeah, of course you can. - Okay. 67 00:02:44,989 --> 00:02:47,157 - I'm just a guy... - Oh, God. It just felt weird. 68 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,951 I'm just an actor from LA. Just a guy. 69 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,160 - Wow! - That's... Wow! 70 00:02:50,243 --> 00:02:52,788 - Wow! - I thought I recognized you. 71 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,999 I don't know if you're fans of Hogan's Heroes? 72 00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:57,209 - Who isn't? Come on. No. - Uh... 73 00:02:57,292 --> 00:03:00,462 I was an extra a lot on that show. 74 00:03:00,546 --> 00:03:02,464 - That's where I've seen you. - Yeah. 75 00:03:02,548 --> 00:03:07,053 I got to be really good friends with one Robert Crane. 76 00:03:07,135 --> 00:03:08,135 Oh. 77 00:03:08,178 --> 00:03:09,388 - Wow! - What a great guy... 78 00:03:09,471 --> 00:03:10,472 - Wow. - Yeah. 79 00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:13,308 - If you know anything about... - I don't, but I heard... 80 00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:14,935 - I mean, he seems amazing. - He was so... 81 00:03:15,019 --> 00:03:16,645 I wondered what happened to him 'cause he was so... 82 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:20,607 - Handsome. So handsome. - He got killed by a good friend of his. 83 00:03:20,691 --> 00:03:24,110 Oh. Me, him and Schultz, right? 84 00:03:24,194 --> 00:03:25,362 - Oh, Schultz? - You know the Sergeant? 85 00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:26,445 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 86 00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:28,657 "No, no, no! No one is saying... " 87 00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:31,410 We used to gallivant around Sunset Boulevard. 88 00:03:31,493 --> 00:03:32,786 - No. - Wow! 89 00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:35,748 - Wow! - Having so much sex. 90 00:03:36,373 --> 00:03:39,877 No, I'm talking about just blowjob... 91 00:03:41,461 --> 00:03:42,588 Hey, you guys like to party? 92 00:03:43,213 --> 00:03:44,715 - You guys like to party a little bit? - Uh... 93 00:03:44,798 --> 00:03:46,050 Oh, heck. 94 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,386 - I am gonna look up for a second. - We're gonna look that way. 95 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,640 - Yeah. - Oh. There she is. 96 00:03:53,724 --> 00:03:55,559 - Yeah! - Okay. 97 00:03:55,642 --> 00:03:57,686 - Hello. - No, thank you. 98 00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:00,814 If I say "no, thank you"... 99 00:04:00,898 --> 00:04:03,525 Hold my call. Hello. 100 00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:04,902 This is Jackie. Yes. 101 00:04:04,985 --> 00:04:07,153 - You don't get service. - Shh. Shut the... 102 00:04:07,237 --> 00:04:08,614 Hey, you gotta pick this stuff up. 103 00:04:08,697 --> 00:04:10,699 You have to pick it all up, how 'bout that? 104 00:04:10,783 --> 00:04:11,909 - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Come on! 105 00:04:11,992 --> 00:04:14,620 - Now you have to pick it all up. - No. No. No, Jackie. 106 00:04:14,703 --> 00:04:17,330 - Don't touch! That's my stuff. - What are they? 107 00:04:17,414 --> 00:04:19,207 Poussin, smartass. What do you think this is? 108 00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:21,668 It's used condoms and teeth in the bottom of the baggy. 109 00:04:21,752 --> 00:04:22,878 Everybody's got those. 110 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,504 Jackie, please come with us. 111 00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:26,339 - We don't wanna touch you. - You think I don't... 112 00:04:26,423 --> 00:04:27,549 Please, come on. Just... 113 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:29,885 - That came out of my nose. - Oh, man! 114 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:32,721 - This happened again. - Let's do a thing. 115 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,765 - Just follow... follow me. - Okay. 116 00:04:34,848 --> 00:04:38,060 Hey, the two of us would like to, uh... 117 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:41,271 to, uh, uh, obtain your services, so... 118 00:04:41,354 --> 00:04:43,565 - But we want to do it... Yeah. - ... in the car. 119 00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:46,276 God damn, I haven't even had breakfast yet. 120 00:04:46,359 --> 00:04:48,654 Well, let me first make sure I'm not pregnant. 121 00:04:49,195 --> 00:04:50,906 What're you doing? Oh, don't! No, don't pee! 122 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,408 Hold on! It's for your own good. You want to fuckin'... 123 00:04:53,492 --> 00:04:54,576 You want to pay alimony for the rest of the year? 124 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:57,621 That would be the least of my worries, that you're pregnant... 125 00:04:57,704 --> 00:05:00,248 - I'm checking it. I'm checking it. - She just peed... 126 00:05:00,332 --> 00:05:02,960 No, we're good. Where do you want it? 127 00:05:02,963 --> 00:05:03,963 - In the car. - Yeah. 128 00:05:03,964 --> 00:05:05,087 - In the butt? - Yeah. 129 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:06,254 Oh. 130 00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:08,590 - But, yes. But in the car. - Okay. 131 00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:10,467 - Come on. - I don't feel like it! 132 00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:11,844 - Let's go. - What kind of party can we have 133 00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:14,262 with a laxative and some petroleum jelly? 134 00:05:14,346 --> 00:05:16,182 - It's nice in here. - Yeah, there you go. 135 00:05:16,264 --> 00:05:17,264 - Okay. - Put that up. 136 00:05:17,307 --> 00:05:18,767 - Okay. - Help. 137 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,769 Oh, I'm shitting. 138 00:05:21,353 --> 00:05:22,980 - You said you're shitting? - No! 139 00:05:28,235 --> 00:05:29,945 - I'm gonna look over here. - Oh, what! 140 00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:32,280 How did you get the decoy work? 141 00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:33,824 I've done decoy work before. 142 00:05:33,908 --> 00:05:37,411 - I did Biden when he was VP. - You did Biden? 143 00:05:37,494 --> 00:05:41,415 I've done the late Joe McCarthy who ran the blacklist... 144 00:05:41,498 --> 00:05:44,459 - Wonderful guy. - Okay, guys. Thirty seconds to Disco Duck. 145 00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:46,378 - Thirty seconds to Disco Duck. - Thank God. 146 00:05:46,461 --> 00:05:48,172 - Okay. - He's really with you, right? 147 00:05:48,255 --> 00:05:49,255 Twenty-five seconds. 148 00:05:49,297 --> 00:05:50,883 Look, I'm gonna take a little hit... 149 00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:52,426 - I'm gonna look the other way. - Before we go... 150 00:05:52,509 --> 00:05:54,469 - Ten seconds to Disco Duck! - Yes, sir. 151 00:05:54,553 --> 00:05:55,804 - Okay. - Here we go. 152 00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:57,556 - You kinda have some... - Here, here, here. 153 00:05:57,639 --> 00:05:59,683 You sure you're good? 'Cause that was kind of a lot. Okay. 154 00:06:00,308 --> 00:06:02,477 Here we go. Here he is, everybody. 155 00:06:03,353 --> 00:06:05,814 - Just move him. Just move him. - That's him. 156 00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:08,358 Nothing to see here. 157 00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:10,194 I am the real Bernie. 158 00:06:10,277 --> 00:06:11,695 - That's him. - Bernie! 159 00:06:13,030 --> 00:06:15,574 - That's him. - I am the real Bernie. 160 00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:18,869 Shit. Shit! 161 00:06:19,787 --> 00:06:20,788 Can we get him in? 162 00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:21,871 - He's fine! - Shit. 163 00:06:23,665 --> 00:06:24,792 Oh, my God! 164 00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:27,878 You got the EpiPen or anything? He's not breathing. 165 00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:31,339 - Oh, he's dead. - Oh, God! 166 00:06:31,423 --> 00:06:33,717 - We were in a car with a dead guy. - He's dead, he's dead. What do we do? 167 00:06:33,801 --> 00:06:36,137 - We're in so much trouble. - We just call the Secret Service. 168 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,805 - What do we do? What do we do? - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Check it out. 169 00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:39,681 - Check it out. Check it out. - That's me. 170 00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:40,975 - Oh, my God. - That's you! 171 00:06:41,058 --> 00:06:42,810 - Hey, we're on the news! Look at that! - We're on TV! 172 00:06:42,893 --> 00:06:44,103 - Wow! - Wow! 173 00:06:44,645 --> 00:06:46,188 We're also on this one. 174 00:06:46,855 --> 00:06:47,856 Oh, uh-oh. 175 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:50,067 - Oh, Honolulu. - Whoo! Neat. 176 00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:56,657 "Bernie Sanders collapses dead in the Reno-Sparks Convention Center." 177 00:06:58,117 --> 00:06:59,994 Let's dump him. Let's just dump him. 178 00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:01,287 Let's just push him out of the car. 179 00:07:01,369 --> 00:07:03,205 We're in Sparks now, a little bit. 180 00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:06,250 - If Sparks SD finds a body? - Not our problem. 181 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,002 - With my fingerprints? - Oh, fuck. 182 00:07:09,086 --> 00:07:10,296 Sorry, sir. 183 00:07:10,879 --> 00:07:13,882 All right, I got it. I'll hold on to it. I'll hold on to it. 184 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:15,050 - I'll put it in evidence. - Okay. 185 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:16,927 - Somebody know what these are? - Uh... 186 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:19,138 - Watch him. - Yeah. No, no, no, I take these. 187 00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,222 - Yeah. - Yeah, I take these. 188 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,683 - Those are like mama's little helpers. - Those are mama's little helpers. 189 00:07:22,766 --> 00:07:25,352 - Never doing that. - Pulled these off of him earlier. 190 00:07:25,435 --> 00:07:27,437 These will help carry him. If we're gonna... 191 00:07:27,521 --> 00:07:28,647 We're gonna carry him. 192 00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:31,317 If we're gonna carry him 40 feet, I'm just sayin'. 193 00:07:31,399 --> 00:07:32,400 Sorry. 194 00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:38,532 - Okay. Yeah, let's do it. - Whoo! 195 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,830 - Hi! - Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 196 00:07:44,913 --> 00:07:48,458 Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 197 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:52,046 Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! Bernie, Bernie, Bernie! 198 00:07:52,129 --> 00:07:53,547 Go, go, go, go, go! 199 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:56,717 Holy shit, Susan Sarandon!