1 00:00:00,232 --> 00:00:02,818 OK, Gary, so why don't you tell me what happened? 2 00:00:02,901 --> 00:00:04,779 I'm being prejudiced against is what's happened. 3 00:00:04,861 --> 00:00:07,030 People are seeing a simple white man and they're going, 4 00:00:07,114 --> 00:00:09,157 "Oh, I'm black. I think I'm better than you." 5 00:00:09,241 --> 00:00:11,243 "Oh, I'm a proud gay." 6 00:00:11,326 --> 00:00:15,247 "I'ma make sure a white man's rights are taken away." 7 00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:17,124 - So... - Just because I'm... Ow! 8 00:00:17,127 --> 00:00:20,377 ... you called me because you feel like your feelings have been hurt? 9 00:00:20,461 --> 00:00:23,338 Did you not see that? My rights are being taken away right now! 10 00:00:23,422 --> 00:00:25,006 There are people coming up and saying, 11 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:28,218 "Oh, just because I'm transgender, I'm special. I have... " 12 00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:32,973 - No, that's not a crime. Uh... - Judaism is a plague! 13 00:00:33,056 --> 00:00:35,684 It's coming across and making sure that everybody wants... 14 00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:40,648 OK, Gary, listen, has any kind of crime... 15 00:00:40,731 --> 00:00:42,650 I'm just hearing that your feelings are hurt. 16 00:00:42,733 --> 00:00:45,736 My feelings are not hurt. My land is being taken away on a daily... 17 00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:46,807 Oh! 18 00:00:46,818 --> 00:00:49,948 So someone stole land from you, is this what I'm hearing? 19 00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:54,578 You can't hold that in your hand so I can't really call that a theft. 20 00:00:54,662 --> 00:00:56,079 They're gonna steal away the election. 21 00:00:56,163 --> 00:00:57,706 They're gonna steal away the White House. 22 00:00:57,790 --> 00:00:59,124 They're gonna make sure... 23 00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:01,960 - I can identify that one. - Mmm-hmm. 24 00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:03,796 They're taking away my right to free speech. 25 00:01:04,379 --> 00:01:06,882 That's fucked up, Gary. That, I don't agree with. 26 00:01:06,965 --> 00:01:08,425 Ow! 27 00:01:11,762 --> 00:01:16,057 I personally don't love this idea of us shooting a white guy 28 00:01:16,141 --> 00:01:17,476 to make us look better. 29 00:01:17,894 --> 00:01:21,063 Mostly because I'm the one who has to do all the paperwork 30 00:01:21,146 --> 00:01:23,399 any time someone discharges their weapon. 31 00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:26,360 And I got a lot of shit to do this week. 32 00:01:28,153 --> 00:01:29,405 Um... 33 00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:31,156 Pardon my French but... 34 00:01:32,324 --> 00:01:34,618 this butthole isn't gonna wax itself. 35 00:01:34,702 --> 00:01:36,475 Hey, uh, do me a favor, 36 00:01:36,476 --> 00:01:38,622 if you notice a white guy that I miss, let me know. 37 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:42,125 I tend to ignore the white guys 'cause, usually, they're not a problem. 38 00:01:42,209 --> 00:01:43,377 I never said that. 39 00:01:44,086 --> 00:01:46,881 ♪ Looking for a white guy to shoot! ♪ 40 00:01:47,673 --> 00:01:49,299 ♪ Looking for a... white guy. ♪ 41 00:01:49,966 --> 00:01:51,594 ... Shit! 42 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,139 Oh, this is it. 43 00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:57,140 - This it right here. - Yep. 44 00:01:57,224 --> 00:02:00,018 You know these guys are unarmed, and they couldn't be any whiter. 45 00:02:00,102 --> 00:02:01,729 One for you, one for me. 46 00:02:02,939 --> 00:02:04,106 This place is awful. 47 00:02:04,189 --> 00:02:05,524 - Hey, guys. - Mornin'. 48 00:02:05,608 --> 00:02:06,608 - Hi, Officer. - Hi, Officers. 49 00:02:06,609 --> 00:02:11,781 I wouldn't mind talking to you about, uh... The Book of Mormon. 50 00:02:11,864 --> 00:02:12,864 - Sure. - OK. 51 00:02:12,907 --> 00:02:15,910 I'm sorry. Do you mind just taking your hand off the gun for a second? 52 00:02:15,992 --> 00:02:17,327 - Oh? - It just makes me really nervous. 53 00:02:17,411 --> 00:02:18,995 - I'm nervous, too. - I wasn't even noticing. 54 00:02:19,079 --> 00:02:20,831 - It's just instinct, you know. - Yeah. 55 00:02:20,915 --> 00:02:23,292 - We just truly wanna take about faith. - Sure. Yeah. 56 00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:25,304 I'm a, uh, woman of deep faith 57 00:02:25,305 --> 00:02:28,004 but I've been shopping around for a new one. 58 00:02:28,088 --> 00:02:30,591 - Elder, Elder, we have to get back. - We're just... 59 00:02:30,674 --> 00:02:32,050 - Well, just stay close to me... - Yeah. 60 00:02:32,134 --> 00:02:35,429 Answer any questions I might have? You know what I'm saying? 61 00:02:35,512 --> 00:02:37,055 - Elder? - We're on a mission... 62 00:02:37,139 --> 00:02:39,308 - Elder, go! Go, go, go! - We just wanna talk to you, come on! 63 00:02:39,391 --> 00:02:40,643 You don't need to... Now, look! 64 00:02:40,726 --> 00:02:43,604 Take a shot! Take a shot! Oh, Jesus! 65 00:02:44,104 --> 00:02:46,690 Take a... What? Declan! 66 00:02:46,774 --> 00:02:49,318 - Go, go, get 'em! - Jesus! Take a shot, you got 'em! 67 00:02:49,401 --> 00:02:50,653 - You do it! - You do it! 68 00:02:50,736 --> 00:02:52,446 - I can't move! - I'm not gonna... 69 00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:59,453 Hey, followers! It's Trudy Wiegel here... 70 00:03:00,036 --> 00:03:03,206 with Trudy Trending Tip 6,428. 71 00:03:03,749 --> 00:03:04,834 Ding! 72 00:03:04,917 --> 00:03:09,546 I'm gonna show you how you can do some beauty stuff on a budget. 73 00:03:10,255 --> 00:03:14,134 So today we're gonna talk about getting rid of unwanted body hair. 74 00:03:14,718 --> 00:03:17,137 So what I figured out was, 75 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,640 if you just go to your local hardware store 76 00:03:19,723 --> 00:03:22,768 and pick up just your standard rat glue trap... 77 00:03:23,644 --> 00:03:25,395 you can do your own waxing at home. 78 00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:29,274 Or if you have a gently used one in your garage, 79 00:03:29,358 --> 00:03:30,484 that's probably OK, too. 80 00:03:30,985 --> 00:03:34,697 So it's really pretty self-explanatory... 81 00:03:35,155 --> 00:03:39,409 you got some unwanted hair and you got a rat glue trap. 82 00:03:40,285 --> 00:03:43,039 Um... I probably don't have to talk you through this but... 83 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:44,581 uh... 84 00:03:45,541 --> 00:03:46,625 I will. 85 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,545 So, uh... 86 00:03:51,588 --> 00:03:52,589 I just... 87 00:03:53,131 --> 00:03:56,969 I mean, I haven't tried this before but I'm just gonna count. 88 00:03:57,053 --> 00:04:00,138 One... two... 89 00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:02,098 Ah! 90 00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:04,226 Fuck! 91 00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:06,353 Fuck me! 92 00:04:09,314 --> 00:04:12,359 Responding to a call from Gary. 93 00:04:12,442 --> 00:04:14,778 - What? Gary is like a... - He's a racist. 94 00:04:15,278 --> 00:04:18,114 - Well, yeah... Proud... Proud boy. - Rally organizer. 95 00:04:18,741 --> 00:04:19,783 ... come on, guys! 96 00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:21,744 Oh, they're cool, fellows. It's cool. 97 00:04:22,411 --> 00:04:24,621 Thank you for coming. Hey, DJ. 98 00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:27,332 So what happens when you call 911, Gary? 99 00:04:27,416 --> 00:04:30,586 A little bird told me you all are looking to... 100 00:04:31,545 --> 00:04:33,630 shoot somebody? 101 00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:36,132 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey! 102 00:04:36,216 --> 00:04:37,885 Hey! 103 00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:39,887 - What if I told you... - Mmm-hmm? 104 00:04:41,263 --> 00:04:45,475 I want you to shoot... moi? 105 00:04:47,019 --> 00:04:49,855 Why do you want us to shoot you? 106 00:04:49,939 --> 00:04:52,608 - You guys shoot a white man. - Yeah, yeah. 107 00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,735 And now all of a sudden, 108 00:04:54,818 --> 00:04:57,738 the Reno Sheriff's Department shoots everybody. 109 00:04:57,821 --> 00:05:00,156 Black people aren't victimized... 110 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,452 they're just one of many victims that we terrorize. 111 00:05:03,535 --> 00:05:04,536 They're one of... 112 00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:07,414 They just happen to be the vast majority but not exclusively. 113 00:05:07,497 --> 00:05:09,833 - Not exclusively. Not exclusively. - Not exclusively. 114 00:05:09,917 --> 00:05:12,168 - We're equal opportunity shooters. - Yes, yes. 115 00:05:12,252 --> 00:05:15,171 - I don't hate this idea. - We're the same, you and me. 116 00:05:16,256 --> 00:05:17,925 - We're the same. - OK. Stop! 117 00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:19,135 You get what you want 118 00:05:19,217 --> 00:05:21,971 and then I'm the Crispus Attucks of the new Civil War. 119 00:05:22,054 --> 00:05:24,681 - Who is that? Remind me who that is? - You know Crispus Attucks. 120 00:05:24,765 --> 00:05:26,976 Is that the guy with the bindle who planted all the seeds? 121 00:05:27,059 --> 00:05:29,010 Who's the guy... what are the three sounds 122 00:05:29,011 --> 00:05:30,437 of the breakfast cereal, guys? 123 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:31,814 - Snap. - Crackle. 124 00:05:31,897 --> 00:05:33,941 - Snap, Crackle and Crispus? - No, that's that not them. 125 00:05:34,025 --> 00:05:37,402 Are you seriously thinking that one of our Black founders 126 00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:39,196 is a guy on a cereal? 127 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:40,656 Snap, Crackle and Pop couldn't be black? 128 00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:44,702 - We need to get on the same page. - None of our cereal people are black, OK? 129 00:05:44,785 --> 00:05:46,620 - None of them are people of color. - BS! 130 00:05:47,496 --> 00:05:49,247 - What about Count Chocula? - What about Count Chocula? 131 00:05:49,331 --> 00:05:51,042 Count Chocula's not black! 132 00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:53,878 - He is. - His name is chocolate... la. 133 00:05:53,961 --> 00:05:55,880 I'm gonna talk to some black people. 134 00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:59,967 So you want us to shoot you on purpose? 135 00:06:00,051 --> 00:06:01,635 Yeah. But non-lethally. 136 00:06:01,719 --> 00:06:04,388 Just in a way that it sends an entire... 137 00:06:04,471 --> 00:06:06,264 By the way, I apologize. You're right. 138 00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:07,850 - Count Chocula is... He's black. - Count Chocula's black. 139 00:06:15,273 --> 00:06:16,273 Did you get him? 140 00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:18,069 - Did he do it? - Did you get him? 141 00:06:18,152 --> 00:06:20,071 - No! - Shit! I can't see from here. 142 00:06:20,154 --> 00:06:21,155 Hold still. 143 00:06:21,697 --> 00:06:22,697 You ready? 144 00:06:23,699 --> 00:06:25,325 Gary, hold still. 145 00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:26,410 Relax. 146 00:06:27,452 --> 00:06:28,954 Bend your knees, junior. 147 00:06:29,038 --> 00:06:31,123 Gary, close your eyes. You're freaking him out. 148 00:06:33,751 --> 00:06:34,751 Oh, he got him now. 149 00:06:34,793 --> 00:06:35,793 - Watch for ricochet now. - Hold still! 150 00:06:35,794 --> 00:06:36,921 Hey, Gary! You forgot your candy bar. 151 00:06:37,004 --> 00:06:38,589 Ow! 152 00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:41,175 Oh, God damn it! 153 00:06:41,258 --> 00:06:42,676 Sorry. 154 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,887 Somebody's gotta suck that out. Let me suck it out. 155 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,638 - No. - Let me suck it out. I gotta suck it out. 156 00:06:46,722 --> 00:06:48,974 - ♪ I gotta suck it out, suck it out! ♪ - No, no, no! 157 00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:50,226 - No, no, no! - I gonna suck it out. 158 00:06:50,308 --> 00:06:51,727 Jim, don't do that. 159 00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:55,647 - I... I haven't been tested, dude. - Hmm! 160 00:06:56,148 --> 00:06:58,150 Ah! 161 00:06:58,234 --> 00:06:59,818 You know what's funny, 'cause I used to say 162 00:06:59,902 --> 00:07:03,572 that the Boy Scouts mostly traumatized me with some of the... you know. 163 00:07:03,655 --> 00:07:07,243 - I got this. - Some of the super weird gay stuff that happened to me. 164 00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:08,493 - Jim, let me get this. - I got it. 165 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,681 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -