Welcome to the distant future.
This is pretty neat because the state of Nevada has given us...
rented us a virtual reality system, which is for training purposes.
You can be in... Travis, where are you now?
Yeah, it's not just a target range. It's like a...
like an inner city neighborhood.
That's a good question. Is there hail or snow or anything?
Across the street, I'm going into the bank.
- Shit! Shit! - Sorry. Sorry.
- Whoa, really scary guy! - Scary guy?
Scary guy! Scary guy!
Where? Where?
It's a sad day here in Reno.
We have a frequent public nuisance named T.T.
I'm not sure what happened to her
but her aunt sure was a pillar in the community,
and so, we're mourning her today.
The Reno Sheriff's Department has decided to pitch in
and we're all pall bearers for her coffin.
She was a great lady and she...
started a...
an after-school program for homeless children.
- She donated books to people in need. - Donated books.
And T.T. is going through her stages of grief.
It's really heartbreaking.
I've never seen anything so sad.
You know, everyone experiences bereavement differently,
so we try to have room for that...
- Yeah. - ... experience.
Sometimes they cry, sometimes they hump things.
Sometimes they dance. Oh.
Okay. Yeah.
All right.
- My condolences. - My...
- Okay. Thank you. - You're very welcome.
We appreciate it so much. Thank you.
Oh, wow.
- Be a lady. Be a lady. - Okay. Okay.
Be a lady.
All right...
- You gotta be easy on that. - Be a lady. Be a lady.
- All right, here we go. - Thank you T.T.
We really appreciate you guys.
- Absolutely. - I mean, in general. Yeah.
Well, thank you, thank you. I wouldn't necessarily...
- T.T. Okay. Okay. - Okay, don't...
No, let her. She's gotta mourn. Let her mourn.
- She's gotta mourn too. - No hitting.
So, uh, excuse me... Excuse us. Excuse us.
If we could just... Very sorry. Just have to...
Wait. Wait.
You can't go through here.
They're doing demolition.
- They're doing demolition. Back it up. - Oh, shit.
- All right. - Back it up. Back it up.
Sorry. I'm so sorry. Bringing this back.
Absolutely. Absolutely.
To starboard. To the starboard.
Watch it. Watch your step. There's a curb.
- There's a curb here. - Hard to port.
- Here we go. - Hard to port.
Oh, God, no! Oh, God, no!
Go, go, go. Oh, it's so cold!
Ah, brrr!
We can get through this.
Oh, God. Oh, that was really...
Okay.
Son of a...
Quick, come. We're almost there.
Go, go, go, go, go!
That's a good pace. Great pace.
Did we make a wrong turn or something?
Jesus!
I think we made a wrong turn, I swear.
Shit! Shit!
Are we following, T.T.?
Go, go, go!
- It's okay. - We're almost here!
- This way, this way. - Hard to starboard.
Hard to starboard.
Jesus!
Okay. Okay.
Five, six, seven, eight. And...
- Brothers and sisters... - It's fine. Go!
Please join me for a moment of silence.
Just a moment of silence.
- Sheriff's Department. - Somebody called you guys.
I'm sorry, it took a while.
Yeah, we just sat down to eat when we got the call.
I'm Steve. I'm the flight attendant.
- Kind of in charge of economy class. - Sure.
- Exhausting! - Yeah, I bet it's exhausting.
What happened wrong today is a woman...
and I don't want you to let her know we're talking about her...
in a blue shameez in the third row...
Guys, can I save you some time?
- Ma'am. Ma'am! - Ma'am.
So she's sitting... You know what, I'll pretend that I'm her, okay?
- And I'm gonna sit here and... - First of all, don't dress like that
- if you wanna be taken seriously. - ... she's hitting the buzzer
- every three minutes. - So you're her?
"Sir, I need chap-sticks."
I come over. She says, "Oh, I spilled all the nuts in my lap."
She's like, "Can you grab them? Help me grab them."
- So you're... Yeah. - So you be me,
- and I put my hand down there... - So you're you.
... and then she starts doing this.
- Okay. - Like trying to shove her vaginal mound into my wrist.
Shut your hole. Shut your hole.
So she says, "Go up there and grab my jacket,
because, well, I'm seat-belted.
As I'm grabbing her jacket, she's doing this,
just giving me little Eskimo kisses with her nose.
- Just like this. - This is...
- Nice and slow. - This is... I do...
I'm looking for a jacket...
- Why are you wearing shorts? - ... that doesn't even exist.
And she's going like this
- pretending she's reaching in the back... - I will sue you!
... for my jacket.
- And what's really happening is... - Excuse me.
... I'm getting ass-raped by her vaginal mound.
Excuse me. I'm sorry. He doesn't work for the airline.
He's the one I called you about.
He was rubbing his groin on this passenger.
Shit! God damn it. Get down in first!
Don't get near me or I will open this door
and suck you all out into space.
I don't think he's bluffing.
- It's like 12 feet down, right? 14 feet? - It's like 12 feet.
We work really hard,
but if we didn't love it,
honestly, we wouldn't be here.
Believe it or not, the Reno Sheriff's Department
has jobs available.
Reno Sheriff's Department is looking for a few good men,
and women, and transgender,
and non-gender specific gen-Z-ers.
Even with criminal records.
Up to and including the retarded.
I love it here, and if I didn't, I could quit at any time.
Really, I could just get up and walk out.
I'm so happy, I must be dreaming.
I didn't even use my six hours of time off last Christmas.
So join the Reno Sheriff's Department.
Fax in your applications now.
- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -