1 00:00:03,510 --> 00:00:04,720 Sheriff Department! 2 00:00:08,223 --> 00:00:10,308 Sheriff Department! 3 00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,896 You reported a crime on your doorbell camera? 4 00:00:15,021 --> 00:00:16,440 Probably just a guy in a hoodie. 5 00:00:17,691 --> 00:00:20,068 It's always just a guy in a hoodie. Sheriff Department! 6 00:00:21,904 --> 00:00:24,281 Going, going. Nope. Okay. 7 00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:26,617 Call the Fire Department next time. 8 00:00:27,618 --> 00:00:30,120 Can't be here all day, guys. I can't be here all day. 9 00:00:30,203 --> 00:00:31,413 I got stuff to do. 10 00:00:31,496 --> 00:00:34,082 Your doorbell camera is not deputized. 11 00:01:08,659 --> 00:01:09,868 Why would... 12 00:01:10,702 --> 00:01:12,037 Who would do this? 13 00:01:12,621 --> 00:01:13,956 Who would do this? 14 00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:15,791 Why? 15 00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:17,501 Why? 16 00:01:22,589 --> 00:01:23,674 Ahhh! 17 00:01:24,257 --> 00:01:26,092 Why! 18 00:01:31,306 --> 00:01:35,394 Welcome to the Secure and Sassy Concealed Carry Fashion Show. 19 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:39,523 Heather's working a casual look. She's running errands. 20 00:01:39,606 --> 00:01:41,316 But she's not running scared. 21 00:01:43,027 --> 00:01:44,152 Thank you, Heather. 22 00:01:44,236 --> 00:01:45,946 Next up is Shawna. 23 00:01:46,030 --> 00:01:49,575 Shawna's ready for yoga class. What's up in that yoga mat? 24 00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:53,370 It's a 12 gauge pump. Nama-stay safe! 25 00:01:55,998 --> 00:01:58,834 She's a ten... with a pair of nines! 26 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:00,920 Who's ready for evening wear? 27 00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:11,513 Clemmie is ready for a night on the town. 28 00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,348 But she's no sitting duck. 29 00:02:13,432 --> 00:02:15,101 Where are you packing, Clemmie? 30 00:02:16,602 --> 00:02:17,997 There's a couple of things in life 31 00:02:17,998 --> 00:02:19,400 that I'm really into right now. 32 00:02:19,479 --> 00:02:20,689 One of them is fashion. 33 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:24,568 And one of them is not having anyone piss all over my rights. 34 00:02:24,651 --> 00:02:27,071 Well, what's so special about that swimsuit? 35 00:02:30,699 --> 00:02:32,826 That's right. It's Kevlar! 36 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:35,955 Stay away from her pool party, ISIS. 37 00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:42,502 - Hello, cops. Hello. - What's up, pigs? 38 00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:45,672 We see you. I see you're on duty... I'm on duty, too. 39 00:02:45,756 --> 00:02:48,258 Okay, we just saw you tryin' to protect the Constitution 40 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,302 with our goddamn phones, man. 41 00:02:50,385 --> 00:02:52,506 These kids, now they're trying to catch us 42 00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:56,060 doing something wrong all the time. 43 00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,644 - I mean, it's tiresome. - We're gonna have a long wait. 44 00:02:58,727 --> 00:03:00,479 How many guns you got in there? 45 00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:03,983 Fifty. 46 00:03:04,066 --> 00:03:07,945 - Fifty? - Fifty! That's way too many guns. 47 00:03:08,028 --> 00:03:10,322 - How many guns you got out there? - None! 48 00:03:10,405 --> 00:03:12,491 Don't laugh! 49 00:03:14,076 --> 00:03:15,077 That's not funny. 50 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:16,411 Whoa! That's our guy! 51 00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:18,288 - That's our guy! - Let's go! 52 00:03:18,371 --> 00:03:20,874 We got it! Oh, my God! 53 00:03:20,958 --> 00:03:22,793 What the... You're opening fire! 54 00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:25,211 These police officers have just opened fire! 55 00:03:25,295 --> 00:03:26,546 They're shooting him! 56 00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:31,677 - Hi, guys. - Hey, fellas. 57 00:03:32,469 --> 00:03:34,554 - Welcome! - Congratulations. You got jury duty. 58 00:03:34,638 --> 00:03:35,639 Bienvenue. 59 00:03:35,931 --> 00:03:38,184 Congratulations, you got ju... Wait, no. 60 00:03:38,266 --> 00:03:39,726 You got jury duty. 61 00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:41,687 Which one of you guys... Somebody named Tryst? 62 00:03:42,437 --> 00:03:43,647 I'm Tryst. 63 00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:44,773 What kind of name is Tryst? 64 00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,942 You have $3,400 in unpaid parking tickets. 65 00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,360 I thought... Wait. 66 00:03:48,443 --> 00:03:49,695 We'll see you in court. 67 00:03:49,778 --> 00:03:51,113 - But... - Hang on to that. 68 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,948 - Okay, don't hit him, sir. - I'm not hitting him. 69 00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:54,658 I'm not hitting anybody. Did I hit anybody? 70 00:03:54,741 --> 00:03:56,076 - No! - You absolutely did not. 71 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,370 I didn't. Who's got all the dick pics on this one? 72 00:03:58,453 --> 00:03:59,496 Me, sir. 73 00:03:59,579 --> 00:04:01,623 - Is that you or a friend? - It's a friend. 74 00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:02,625 - Oh. - Oh. 75 00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:05,460 - Well done. - I mean, I would've said it was me. 76 00:04:08,964 --> 00:04:11,758 This morning, we found out a model had to drop out. 77 00:04:11,842 --> 00:04:14,720 She had a bowhunting accident over the weekend. 78 00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:17,347 - Clemmie had a friend... - It's not a friend. 79 00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:21,227 Had a... Knew someone who could step in at the last minute. 80 00:04:21,309 --> 00:04:23,145 So we're gonna give her a go. 81 00:04:24,938 --> 00:04:26,460 I know you've never done this before 82 00:04:26,461 --> 00:04:29,442 but you've probably watched models before? 83 00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:33,239 - You've never watched a fashion show? - I don't have a TV anymore. 84 00:04:34,614 --> 00:04:36,408 Okay. Okay. 85 00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:39,411 Well, why don't you... This a runway. 86 00:04:39,494 --> 00:04:43,165 Smize. And then I smize. And then I smize. 87 00:04:43,297 --> 00:04:45,125 And then I smize. And then I smize. 88 00:04:45,209 --> 00:04:46,919 - I'm gonna pause you for a second. - Okay. 89 00:04:48,128 --> 00:04:50,005 - It got weird... - Take this seriously. 90 00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:52,841 Trudy's like that old spare tire that you forget about. 91 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:56,511 - Sure it's bald... barely gonna get you... - Stop complimenting. 92 00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:59,431 Stop with the compliments. My head is getting big. 93 00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:01,267 I've got so many compliments just like that one. 94 00:05:01,349 --> 00:05:03,102 Up next, it's Trudy. 95 00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:05,271 Tennis, anyone? 96 00:05:05,353 --> 00:05:07,773 I have never walked in a fashion show before. 97 00:05:07,856 --> 00:05:09,482 But I do walk around a lot... 98 00:05:09,566 --> 00:05:12,318 to the coffee machines, sometimes to the vending machine, 99 00:05:12,402 --> 00:05:16,531 and I have been told... that I look pretty good doing it. 100 00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:18,700 Who told you that? Name names. 101 00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:19,785 Um... 102 00:05:20,535 --> 00:05:23,455 - Roberto. He's new. - Mmm. 103 00:05:25,665 --> 00:05:27,417 He and I are kind of having a thing. 104 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,669 Oh. 105 00:05:29,419 --> 00:05:32,881 Trudy is serving up a beautiful silhouette. 106 00:05:33,632 --> 00:05:35,592 Nice backhand, Trudy. 107 00:05:35,676 --> 00:05:37,011 What about that tennis racket? 108 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,387 I 40-love it. 109 00:05:40,014 --> 00:05:42,850 As if Trudy was not creating enough of a diversion herself... 110 00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:44,185 Flash grenade! 111 00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,564 Ball's in your court, date rapists. 112 00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:53,986 Trudy, is that a .32 ACP gun in your pocket 113 00:05:54,069 --> 00:05:57,281 or are you just happy to live a country with the Second Amendment? 114 00:05:58,615 --> 00:05:59,783 Shooter! 115 00:06:11,628 --> 00:06:12,921 I'm okay. 116 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,298 Shit! 117 00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:15,798 Sorry. 118 00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:21,055 Next up is Lisa! 119 00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,133 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -