1 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,568 Previously on Two and a Half Men: 2 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:04,526 Hi. LYNDSEY: I-I'm sorry. 3 00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:05,744 I didn't catch your name. 4 00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,094 This is Jeff. Jeff Strongman. 5 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,707 In return for 6 00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:12,882 51% of your company 7 00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,276 I will back your project. 8 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,452 I will sell you a minority share, 9 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:18,844 if you agree to work as my product engineer. 10 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,021 You changed my code. 11 00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:22,587 I made it better.You're fired. 12 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,067 We're done. I don't work with you anymore. 13 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,504 That's what "you're fired" means. 14 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,202 So, this isn't a bad idea anymore. 15 00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,688 ♪ Men.♪ 16 00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:38,168 Oh. Hey, Jenny. 17 00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:39,256 Oh. Do you have plans for tonight? 18 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:40,997 You-You want to see a movie? 19 00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,129 Uh, no. My girlfriend and I are actually making one. 20 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,871 It's like The Hunger Games, 21 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,482 but we're not going to be eating food. 22 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,834 ALAN: Oh. Hey, Walden. Uh, want to go see a movie? 23 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,705 I got a buy one, get one free coupon. 24 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,143 [laughing]: No, I'm not falling for that again. 25 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,624 And, besides, I can't. 26 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,583 I'm gonna go see Nicole... 27 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,151 Are you? Or are you gonna say you're gonna go see Nicole? 28 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:06,153 And, we say, that's a good idea. 29 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,242 But, then, you're gonna talk about it a little more, 30 00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:09,634 and decide, maybe it's not a good idea. 31 00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,288 And we say that's fine. Whatever you want. 32 00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:14,944 And then you come up to us 15 minutes later and say, 33 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:15,988 [deep voice]: "I'm gonna go see Nicole." 34 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,643 Maybe it's not a good idea. 35 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,297 Come on, just grow a pair. 36 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:23,474 Or strap on a pair from my drawer and talk to her. 37 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,608 Or you could go to a movie with me. 38 00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:28,958 I'm gonna go see Nicole. 39 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,134 Hey, Berta, want to go to the movies? 40 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,310 Sounds good. See you later. 41 00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,183 ♪ Men.♪ 42 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,923 Can I get my free refill, please? 43 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,708 Sorry, sir. That offer only applies 44 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,318 on the day of purchase. 45 00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,277 I know. I, uh, I purchased it today. So... 46 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,104 This is a Finding Nemocup. 47 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:47,107 And you found him. [laughs] 48 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:52,199 Uh, also there was a-a spider in my, in my popcorn. 49 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,113 I had to throw the whole thing away. 50 00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:57,813 All right. All right. Well, just tell your manager that, uh, 51 00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,250 Alan Harper would like to speak with him when he has a moment. 52 00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,338 He knows me. 53 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,774 We all know you. 54 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,476 Jeff! 55 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,564 Jeff! 56 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:11,914 Oh! Oh, hey! [laughs] 57 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,394 Larry. 58 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,047 And, uh, uh... I'm sorry, it's, um... 59 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,353 Lyndsey. 60 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,050 Right. Right. Of course. 61 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,661 I'm-I'm terrible with names. [nervously laughs] 62 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,185 It's true. Sometimes he can't even remember his own. 63 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:26,320 Well, I would never forget it, Jeff Strongman. 64 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,061 Are you here alone? 65 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,628 Saturday night at the movies? 66 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:31,934 Alone? [laughs] 67 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,109 Hello, suicide hotline. [laughs] 68 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,373 No. My date is, uh, um... 69 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,549 takin' a poop. 70 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,377 Is this date something serious? 71 00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,292 'Cause I was actually thinking, there's a girl in my office, 72 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:43,728 Gwen, who would be perfect for you. 73 00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:47,428 Honey, I-I-I'm pretty sure, Jeff is gay. 74 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,996 Nope. The only thing straighter than me 75 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:53,303 is my boner when I look at naked women. 76 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,609 [laughs] 77 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,828 Are you sure you're not gay? 78 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,526 I'm sure. Lovethe boobies. 79 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:01,137 You know, it might be fun, we all go on a double date. 80 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,182 That would be great. 81 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,531 Would it? 82 00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,837 Does that really sound great, Jeff? 83 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,666 MANAGER: Alan Harper? 84 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:11,539 I have a complimentary popcorn and soda for Alan Harper? 85 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:14,542 Wow. 86 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:20,374 Free popcorn and soda. 87 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,157 Bet you wish you were Alan Harper. 88 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,988 MANAGER: Mr. Alan Harper? 89 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:29,296 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ 90 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,602 ♪ Men. ♪♪ Ooh. ♪ 91 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:36,694 ♪ Men.♪Hey, guys. 92 00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:38,783 Oh, my God. 93 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,046 I knew you'd come back. 94 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:41,917 I knew you were not like my father. 95 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,747 Aw... 96 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:46,748 I missed you invading my space. 97 00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:51,143 Walden, hi. 98 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,841 What are you doing here? 99 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,799 Don't worry. I'm not trying to get my job back. 100 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,715 I just wanted to see if we could get dinner together. 101 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,240 Oh! Let me check my calendar. 102 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,763 What day were you thinking? 103 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:05,462 Yeah... I'm not so sure that's a good idea. 104 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,463 Tuesday works for me. 105 00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,638 I can skip Pilates. 106 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:13,644 Look, are... are you mad about me kissing you? 107 00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,994 No. I mean, yes! 108 00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:19,563 I mean, did I think about it? 109 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,174 Sure... but-- ye-- I think about a lot of things. 110 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,176 You know, computers, music, the weather. 111 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,527 Kissing me? Yeah. No! No! 112 00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:26,831 Stop it. 113 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:29,704 Okay. Wednesday, I've got a thing, 114 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,836 but... uh... 115 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:32,881 you know what? I can move it. 116 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,796 Good-bye, Mom. 117 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:37,799 Look, even if there were an attraction, 118 00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:41,977 there are a hundred nerds all around the world working on 119 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,587 thought-recognition technology, 120 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,285 and if I don't finish first, 121 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,504 I'm gonna lose the last two years of my life. 122 00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,637 All I heard was, there is an attraction. 123 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,334 You like kissing me. 124 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,510 And... blah, blah, blah, two years of my life. 125 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,338 Good-bye, Walden. 126 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,732 Okay. All I heard was, you, me, pot, Jack in the Box, 127 00:04:57,819 --> 00:05:00,300 blah, blah, blah, best friends forever. 128 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,260 ♪ Men.♪ 129 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:06,610 Hey. 130 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,265 Oh, hey. How was the, uh... movie? 131 00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,527 Fantastic. I went out by myself, 132 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:11,920 and came home with a date. 133 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,487 Wow. Normally you go out with a date 134 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,705 and come home by yourself. 135 00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,144 Where is she? 136 00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,277 Oh, no-no. It's a future date. 137 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:21,930 Future date? 138 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,758 Mm-hmm. 139 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,761 We talking like a, uh... sex robot? 140 00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:29,329 No, no. Lyndsey and Larry are setting me up. 141 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,548 Although, if you do see an ad for a sex robot, 142 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:32,984 save your money. 143 00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,029 They just put lipstick on a DustBuster. 144 00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,512 Wa-Wa-Wa-Wait. 145 00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:41,079 It's not the same DustBuster you got me for Christmas? 146 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,733 Oh, no-no, of course not. 147 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:43,952 That-that would be, uh... 148 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:44,909 Oh, good God! 149 00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,697 Wait a sec. 150 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,960 Your ex-girlfriend and the guy she's with, 151 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:55,224 who she's cheating on with you, 152 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:59,228 is getting your alter ego, Jeff Strongman, 153 00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,882 a date with a girl that they know? 154 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:04,451 Hang on, uh, carry the whore. Yes. 155 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,497 So, uh, how'd it go with you? 156 00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:10,979 Uh, well, I... went to get a date with a girl, 157 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,938 got shot down, and wound up with a date with a guy. 158 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:15,984 Been there. 159 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,290 [doorbell rings] 160 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,944 Ah, don't feel bad. I've been shot down 161 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,859 more times than I can count, and I'm still here. 162 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,295 BOTH: We know. 163 00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,082 Are you really that stupid? 164 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:30,999 Okay. You're talking to a guy who stuck his penis in a vacuum. 165 00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,090 What's wrong with you? 166 00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,875 Wait, I keep a list on the fridge. 167 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:41,052 Why in the world would you agree to go on a double-date 168 00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,227 with me and Larry? 169 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,229 Okay. You are just upset, 170 00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,883 because you are gonna have to watch me be with someone else, 171 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,885 the same way I have to watch you be with Larry. 172 00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:50,932 [Lyndsey sighs]This is just a taste of your own medicine. 173 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,890 Jealous-in. Use as directed. 174 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:56,372 Side effects include tears, sleepless nights, 175 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,461 and possible rage masturbation. 176 00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:02,857 Number one, he's stupid. 177 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:06,251 Number two, smells like mushroom soup. 178 00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:10,952 Number three, he dates that desperate chick who... 179 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,478 Number four... 180 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,266 Walden? 181 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,007 Hey, Bar-Bar. Is Nicole there? 182 00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,053 Uh... let me see... 183 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:27,011 [whispering]: I don't know what that means. 184 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:31,581 I do... I do not understand what you're... 185 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,104 Sorry, Walden. She's in a-a beating. 186 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,630 I think you meant meeting. 187 00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,109 Did I? [whispering]: Did I? 188 00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,069 Walden, hi. 189 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,723 Kinda busy. What's up? 190 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,160 I... have something for you. 191 00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,378 Hang on. 192 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,165 [sighs] I hate that she made me lie. 193 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,079 I-I love you. 194 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,298 That was weird. 195 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:53,995 But at, but at least, at least it wasn't a lie. 196 00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,696 You didn't want to come to dinner. 197 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:00,697 So, I brought dinner to you. 198 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:03,613 Oh, great. I am starving. 199 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,573 Oh, Barry. It's, it's just for Nicole. 200 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,792 Is it because I lied to you? 201 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,099 No. It's because I like kissing her just a littlebit more. 202 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,495 This is really sweet. 203 00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,149 But I have somuch to do. 204 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,586 Come on... 205 00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:22,937 My poor housekeeper slaved all day 206 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:27,768 to make us this delicious... note... 207 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:31,685 that says, "I don't cook. Love, Berta." 208 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,991 Well-- I-I brought you wine... and cheese... 209 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:38,605 and... no fricking corkscrew. [nervously laughs] 210 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,911 I'll give you five minutes. 211 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,434 [laughs] 212 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,566 Well, appears the music has stopped, 213 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,916 and I am left without a chair. 214 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,135 [remote clicks] 215 00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,703 I only have six weeks to live. 216 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,835 Well, okay, that's not true, but it is my birthday. 217 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,445 It, it really is my birthday. 218 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,579 Look, Walden, 219 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,842 just because I agreed to do this, 220 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,844 I don't want you to get the wrong idea. 221 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,542 [British accent]: Well, it's too late. 222 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,065 Once the lady accepts the man's cheese, 223 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,458 they must marry. 224 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,765 [British accent]: But I am betrothed to a goatherd. 225 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,593 Is that a smile? Are you actually having fun? 226 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:15,206 [laughs] Uh... yes, but I really have to get back to work. 227 00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,120 Let me help you. 228 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,774 We tried that. 229 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,254 BARRY [over speaker]: Give him a chance... 230 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,431 Barry, what did we talk about? 231 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:25,042 Digital boundaries. 232 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:28,785 Am I the only one feeling a connection here? 233 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,613 Of course not. 234 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,008 But, because of that, you're gonna be a distraction. 235 00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:37,185 Well, I-I promise to wear a conservative top. 236 00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:40,405 And to tape down all my fun parts. 237 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,496 Uh... All right. I will let you help. 238 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,021 But, until we're done, 239 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,936 it has to be all work and no play. 240 00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,895 Deal. But I'm-- you're gonna have to let me 241 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:52,069 tape down your fun parts. 242 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,292 ♪ Men.♪ 243 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,206 You got this? You ready?[laughs] 244 00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:00,208 Mm-hmm. 245 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,122 LARRY & ALAN: One... 246 00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,123 two... 247 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,167 three... 248 00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:04,429 four... 249 00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:05,735 five... cherries...! 250 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,171 ♪ Ta-da! ♪ [laughs] 251 00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,043 Wow! 252 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,218 Wow. You did that with your tongue?Mm-hmm. 253 00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,741 But I-- trust me when I tell you, 254 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,743 uh, that I am giving you a standing ovation. 255 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,136 [laughs] 256 00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:20,010 Trust me when I tell you, I have an erection. 257 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,360 Isn't she great? 258 00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,188 Yeah, she's great. 259 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,799 So, uh... you work with Larry? 260 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,104 Do you manage musicians too? 261 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,237 No. I'm in talent relations. 262 00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,674 Basically, myjob is to make sure everyone's happy. 263 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,459 Well, job well done tonight. I-I can't remember the last time 264 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,374 I had so much fun on a date. [laughs] 265 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,159 Maybe the problem's you, Jeff. 266 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,422 I don't think so. 267 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,554 I think you're yummy. 268 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,993 Well, uh... I have been using a coconut body butter.GWEN: Oh. 269 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,385 Didn't I tell you these two would hit it off? 270 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,997 Next stop, couples trip to wine country. 271 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,608 Can't wear a thong bikini in wine country. 272 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,218 Cabo, it is. 273 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,527 You should wear a thong, sweetie. 274 00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,660 Another great idea. 275 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,401 Oh... I just got invited to a party in the hills tonight. 276 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,533 You guys want to go? 277 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,665 Yes! No!Yes! 278 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,232 Come on, aren't you having fun? 279 00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:09,799 Look, if you don't want to go, 280 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,714 I can give the guys a ride to the party. 281 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,672 Jeff in the front... 282 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,325 Larry in the rear... 283 00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,284 It'll be tight but, 284 00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:17,285 we can make it work. 285 00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,722 Aw... 286 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:20,331 I don't think it'd be that tight. 287 00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,902 Oh, I'm going to the party. 288 00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,165 Uh, uh, let's just give it a minute to...[Lyndsey sighs] 289 00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,297 Crowd's still on its feet. 290 00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,519 ♪ Men.♪ 291 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,092 Um... 292 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,181 Um... 293 00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,401 Wow. Uh, looks like we're overdressed. 294 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,315 I can fix that. 295 00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,058 Gwen! 296 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,102 Yeah, come on. 297 00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,364 It's a swingers' party. 298 00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:55,540 All right. Let's do this thing. 299 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,760 ♪ Men.♪ 300 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,374 [thunder crashing] 301 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,115 ♪ Men.♪ 302 00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,424 [sighs] It's like a hundred degrees in here. 303 00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:10,904 Yeah, right? 304 00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,819 I've got frozen peas in my crotch. 305 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:13,950 What? 306 00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,517 I got a bag of frozen peas, 307 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,084 and I put 'em down my pants. It's delightful. 308 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,085 Okay. You know what? 309 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,608 This is ridiculous. 310 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,305 We gotta be able to fix this radiator. 311 00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:23,003 I've got a call in, they're coming out tomorrow. 312 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,919 Tomorrow? 313 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:27,268 Come on! 314 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:30,010 We got three geniuses here. 315 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,359 Yeah, and one of 'em 316 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:32,403 has frozen peas in his underwear. 317 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:36,277 What underwear? 318 00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:38,366 Still, we can make this work. 319 00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:42,457 Yeah. I mean, it's-- clearly the-the heat is... 320 00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:43,893 emanating from, uh... 321 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,852 from this device. 322 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,768 We just, we just need to... rebootit. 323 00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:57,994 You say the guy's coming out tomorrow? 324 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,910 Yes, geniuses. 325 00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,303 Now, will you help me figure out 326 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,913 why this algorithm isn't working? 327 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,133 Maybe it's on a Java break. 328 00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,656 [Barry laughs] 329 00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,179 Did you get it? Like java and Java...? 330 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,010 That joke killed at MIT open mic night. 331 00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,535 What do you got? 332 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:21,539 You-- oh... this pointer is undefined. 333 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:24,412 Oh. Right. Of course. 334 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:30,026 So, uh... guess you got it from here. 335 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,246 What are we waiting for? 336 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,857 I mean, let's just do this. 337 00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,163 Really? 338 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:38,992 What about Barry? 339 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,951 He can film it. 340 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:42,996 What? 341 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,475 I mean, we're gonna want to 342 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,564 watch it again and again. 343 00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,784 You know, maybe even put it on the Internet. 344 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,046 This is a pleasant surprise. [laughs] 345 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,616 Here, let's test it. 346 00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:59,926 Oh... yeah, right, the device.Mm-hmm. 347 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,057 That's exactly what we were talking about. 348 00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:05,322 Good. Now put that on. 349 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,890 [whispering]: And stop thinking about sex. 350 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,806 Well, it's harder than it looks. 351 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,113 Well, it's a good thing you taped it down. 352 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,421 Now... 353 00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:20,294 the first thing you think will be the first human thought 354 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,077 recognized by a computer. 355 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,476 It's not even reading the device. 356 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,564 Now, you know what? 357 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,609 I think I know what it is. 358 00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,136 If it's any consolation, 359 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,180 I thought she was talking about sex, too. 360 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,185 P.S. Just throwing this out there: 361 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,708 totally up for filming. 362 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,145 ♪ Men.♪ 363 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,887 Uh, uh-uh, let me ask you something. 364 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,714 Um... uh, how do I put this? 365 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:53,153 Um... i-i-is there a "grow room" before the "show room"? 366 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,720 There's a blow room. 367 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,157 How 'bout this? 368 00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,462 You said you wanted to spice things up. 369 00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,508 This seems pretty spicy. 370 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,249 And it sure beats the hell out of couples' therapy, huh, Jeff? 371 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,773 Uh, y-you know, if Lyndsey is uncomfortable, 372 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,383 why don't you guys take off? 373 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,907 Some people can't handle 374 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:08,820 seeing their partner with someone else. 375 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,780 You know what? I'm good. 376 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,913 Besides, I've always wanted to sleep with Jeff. 377 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:14,652 Wait. What? 378 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,176 You heard me. 379 00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:18,874 Let's do this thing. 380 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,310 I'm gonna go get us some drinks. 381 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,399 I'll come with you. 382 00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,880 You're gonna be hearing that a lot tonight. 383 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,534 Isn't this great, Jeff? 384 00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,449 I get to bang Gwen, and you get to bang Lyndsey. 385 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,799 Yeah, that's one way to go. 386 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,628 Um... Or I-I could have sex with Gwen, 387 00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:34,934 and you could do whatever the hell you want. 388 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,500 [laughs] Come on, you're telling me 389 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,937 when you're nailing someone, 390 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,068 you never imagined it was Lyndsey? 391 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,504 Never once. 392 00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,202 Well, you got the green light, buddy. 393 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:43,899 This is so exciting. 394 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:45,509 I haven't had sex with somebody new in a long time. 395 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,470 Yeah, me neither. 396 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:53,082 ♪ Men.♪ 397 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:54,518 You know... 398 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,346 I'm cool with it if you want to word naked. 399 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:58,914 Okay, there's a reason I didn't respond 400 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,350 the first time you said it. 401 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:03,223 Walden? 402 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,407 I... need... it. 403 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:16,801 Walden. 404 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,890 I need it.What? 405 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:19,587 The file you were supposed to send me. 406 00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:20,631 I need it. 407 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,330 Oh... uh, yeah, right. 408 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,592 The file. Sorry. 409 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:33,253 Is... this... what... you... want...? 410 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,868 Nicole. Is this what you wanted? 411 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,174 Huh? 412 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,827 The file. It's right here. 413 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:44,568 Oh. Right. Yeah. 414 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,048 Let me just... 415 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:48,572 put it in. 416 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,054 Oh, wow... 417 00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:55,014 This really sucks. 418 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,885 We have so much work to do, and all I can think about 419 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,234 is you and me, and oh, wow. 420 00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,236 Gotta stop thinking about sex. 421 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,064 How are we gonna do that? 422 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,761 BARRY: Oh, yeah. 423 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:10,072 That's... what... daddy... likes... 424 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,079 And that did it. [clears throat] 425 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,126 ♪ Men.♪ 426 00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,170 Is this seat taken? 427 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:22,563 Oh. 428 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:23,694 Very funny. 429 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:24,826 Okay, good news, bad news. 430 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,349 Bad news, Larry's with Gwen. 431 00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,221 Yeah. Not a big surprise. 432 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,614 She's got boobs that could save your life 433 00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:31,876 in the event of a water landing. 434 00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,748 But the good news is, 435 00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,315 guess who's got two thumbs, and is banging you tonight. 436 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:38,057 This guy...! 437 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:41,799 Jeff Probst?! 438 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,584 You ready, babe?Oh, yeah. 439 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:44,976 Wait! What the hell? 440 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,891 I told you I wanted to sleep with Jeff. 441 00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,197 But I'm Jeff. 442 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:49,590 No, you're Alan. 443 00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:52,332 So, what do you say, blow room first? 444 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,029 If you told Larry you were gay, 445 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,422 none of this would have happened. 446 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,814 [sighs]Wait. That guy's not gay? 447 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:00,557 ♪ Men.♪ 448 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,255 [moans] 449 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,299 Thanks again for the birthday pudding, you guys. 450 00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:06,389 I love pudding. 451 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,435 It's even fun to say. 452 00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:10,393 Pu-dding. 453 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,267 I'm putting pudding in my mouth. 454 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,877 [laughs hysterically] 455 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,313 [laughing]: Oh, my God. That's funny. 456 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,923 [Barry continues laughing] 457 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:22,144 Looks like the birthday weed is kicking in. 458 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,538 Putting pudding. Putting pudding. 459 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,975 Okay. Now I'm gonna switch it up, 460 00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:29,499 and see if you can tell the difference. 461 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:33,460 Pudding putting. 462 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,070 Pudding putting. 463 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,680 Oh, my God. I got it. 464 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,248 Did you? 465 00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:40,902 The-The-The function. 466 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,469 It's recursive. 467 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,687 It keeps getting stuck in the subroutine. 468 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,124 This is, this is it. 469 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:46,081 You sure? 470 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,866 Yeah. No, check it out. 471 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,477 This is history. 472 00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,131 This is like Alexander Graham Bell saying, 473 00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,958 "Watson, come here." 474 00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:57,788 This is Neil Armstrong saying, "One small step for man." 475 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,529 This is Walden Schmidt saying... 476 00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,401 FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Pudding. 477 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,404 Aw, damn it, Barry! 478 00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:05,361 You put pudding in my head! 479 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,755 Putting pudding. 480 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,498 Or, putting pudding. 481 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:14,544 I was gonna say, "The future is now." 482 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,851 "The future is now"? 483 00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:19,288 What is this, the 1912 World's Fair? 484 00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,639 Excuse me, guys.What? 485 00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,250 I think the computer just read his thoughts. 486 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:26,687 We did it!Oh, my God. 487 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,384 We did it!It worked. 488 00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,473 [screaming]It worked! 489 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,258 [laughing, yelling]Yes! 490 00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,477 FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Someone's not wearing a bra. 491 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,087 What?!I... 492 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,698 FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Stop thinking about sex. 493 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,918 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. Baseball. 494 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,315 FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: This was a great idea, Walden. 495 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,491 It was. You're so beautiful. 496 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:53,322 Thank you. And you're so handsome. 497 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,672 I am so turned on, Nicole. 498 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:56,456 So am I. 499 00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:59,154 Uh-oh. Baseball. 500 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,417 Baseball. Baseball. 501 00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:02,418 Oh, crap. 502 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:05,029 Now I want pudding. 503 00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,683 ♪ Men.♪ 504 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,037 ♪ Men.♪ 505 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:21,655 This is gym class all over again. 506 00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:25,746 Last man picked and I have an unwanted boner. 507 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,791 I wouldn't say it's unwanted. 508 00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:31,012 Oh. Hello. 509 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:35,146 Well, looks like it's just you and me. 510 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,018 Yeah... Jeff Probst stole my girlfriend. 511 00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:38,062 Bastard. [laughs] 512 00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:41,240 He's my grandson. 513 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:45,200 Wow! Uh, I-I-I can't believe he'd bring his grandmother 514 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,810 to a party like this. 515 00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:49,117 [chuckling]: He can't bring me to my own party. 516 00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:51,598 Wait, but this is your house? 517 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:52,599 That's right. 518 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,035 What do you say? 519 00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,864 You want to go road test this new hip? 520 00:20:56,951 --> 00:21:00,084 All right. Why not? 521 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:02,870 Well, we'll start in the grow room. Come on. 522 00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:04,741 Oh, this is a beautiful house. Do you have a guest room? 523 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,656 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 524 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,745 and TOYOTA. 525 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:10,312 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org