1 00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:04,221 ♪ Men.♪ 2 00:00:04,308 --> 00:00:05,875 We got to go. 3 00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:08,921 We just got here. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,402 Yeah, I know, but I got to go. 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,188 The sit-down "go." 6 00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,799 No, I am... I am tired of being a slave 7 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:18,453 to your fear of public bathrooms. 8 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:19,976 Do you know what people do in there? 9 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:22,239 They go to the bathroom. 10 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,981 Exactly. It's-It's not the seat as much as... 11 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,462 [whispers]: the splash. 12 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,681 You have ruined a lot of things that I enjoy, 13 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,379 and I am not gonna let you take pooping from me. 14 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,903 Oh, fine, but every time you use a public bathroom, 15 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,079 you are putting your ass 16 00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,560 against every other ass that has ever been there. 17 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,301 See this guy? 18 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,564 I might as well rub my naked butt all over his. 19 00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:47,699 And he took pooping from me. 20 00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:50,093 Excuse me. Walden? 21 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,486 Yes? 22 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,227 I-I'm sure you don't remember me, 23 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,055 but I used to work for you. 24 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,405 Sorry, I don't remember your name. 25 00:00:57,492 --> 00:01:00,321 It's Nicole, but you'd always call me Michelle. 26 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,758 Right! Michelle! 27 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,238 Yeah. Hey. 28 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,413 How you doing? I-I haven't seen you 29 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,979 around the office in a while. 30 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,547 Yeah, I stopped going in after you fired me. 31 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,593 Oh. Wow. 32 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,160 That is... 33 00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:15,597 Are you here to kill me? 34 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:18,382 I'm actually trying to get a tech start-up off the ground. 35 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:19,862 Or as my mom calls it, 36 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,864 wasting 20 hours a day in the garage 37 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,257 and not giving her grandkids. 38 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,868 Let me guess: You're looking for help. 39 00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:27,174 With the company, 40 00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,958 not the grandkids. 41 00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,394 I mean, not that 42 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,004 I wouldn't want to... with you... 43 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,791 Can you talk now? 44 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:39,099 I amlooking for help... with the company. 45 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,623 I'll let you know about the grandkids. 46 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,581 Well, I would love to hear about it. 47 00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,670 Why don't you call my office, and we'll set something up? 48 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,760 Yeah, when I worked for you, I was kind of in charge 49 00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,633 of blowing off the people you told to "call your office." 50 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,242 So you get it. 51 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,070 [laughs] 52 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:56,986 Look, 15 years ago, 53 00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,467 you cornered Bill Gates in a steam room, 54 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,164 and you pitched him the idea for Blungogo.com, 55 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:04,472 and six months later, you were a billionaire. 56 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,908 Yeah, what you don't know is 57 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,127 that I also got Tased in the nuts 58 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,912 by a security guard named Randy. 59 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:13,481 Look, I think I have a really good idea. 60 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:16,179 Everything you need to know is right in here. 61 00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:20,052 Okay. I'll take a look at it. 62 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,663 Thank you. 63 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:24,013 I didn't even have to get Tased in the lady nuts. 64 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,407 I still might Tase you later. 65 00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:27,973 [laughs] 66 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,192 Oh, it's not weird. 67 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,628 We-we know each other. 68 00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:32,369 I fired her. 69 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,849 I couldn't do it. 70 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,546 We got to go. Now. Now! 71 00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:36,417 What? 72 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:37,461 This is not a drill! 73 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,115 Code brown! Code brown! 74 00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:47,732 I wonder if I could train him to go in the yard. 75 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,039 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ 76 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:54,826 ♪ Ah. ♪ ♪ Men. ♪ ♪ Men. ♪ 77 00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,831 ♪ Men.♪ 78 00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:01,964 [panting] 79 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:03,357 Wow. 80 00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,533 Oh. 81 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,491 Yeah, that was fun. [sighs] 82 00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:08,840 Two thumbs up. 83 00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:11,147 Felt like more than that. 84 00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:15,891 Hey, uh, thanks for letting me stay over. 85 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,284 Thanks for letting me stay under. 86 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:20,156 Mmm. 87 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,636 You know, I've been thinking-- 88 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,377 we've been doing this for a couple of weeks, 89 00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,074 and I don't know that much about you. 90 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:27,076 Well, you know all the important things. 91 00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:29,600 My favorite color's pink, my favorite singer is Pink, 92 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,906 my favorite body part is... 93 00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:32,037 Okay, fine. If you don't want to talk, 94 00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,214 we don't have to talk. 95 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:35,519 No, I'm kidding. 96 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,304 Come on, ask me anything. 97 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,262 Tell me about your family. What's your mom like? 98 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,699 Well, she's very, very pretty. 99 00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:43,266 Mm-hmm. Not too bright. 100 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:45,442 Her boyfriend went to Harvard Law School, 101 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,053 and then broke up with her, because he wanted a Jackie, 102 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,490 and she was more of a Marilyn, 103 00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:53,320 so she decided to study real hard... 104 00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:54,669 Hold on a second. 105 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,061 That's the plot to Legally Blonde. 106 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:59,195 You saw that, huh? 107 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:03,243 Uh, all right, I'll-I'll... I'll tell you the truth. 108 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,027 My mom is a beautiful prostitute. 109 00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,943 Oh. And my dad, 110 00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:08,857 Richard Gere... 111 00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,555 You're unbelievable. 112 00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,558 Cut me some slack! 113 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:17,474 I grew up in a town that didn't allow dancing! 114 00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:20,564 ♪ Men.♪ 115 00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,087 Mm. Good morning. 116 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,307 Actually, it's a great morning. 117 00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,962 Somebody gave me a billion-dollar idea. 118 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,268 Oh, you got my e-mail. 119 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,968 You know, with my idea. 120 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,622 The app that helps you find a clean public restroom 121 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,884 anywhere in the world. 122 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,583 I called it "Crapster." 123 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,237 Yeah, as good of an idea as that is, 124 00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:44,240 and actually, it's not that bad, 125 00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:47,112 I'm talking about thought-recognition. 126 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,158 Thought-control computing. 127 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,986 Imagine you want to send a text, 128 00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:52,727 but, uh, you don't want to take your phone out. 129 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:55,164 Or imagine you want to change the channel on the TV, 130 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,470 but you don't have a remote. 131 00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:57,949 Imagine you're in a strange city, 132 00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,342 and you can't find a clean bathroom. 133 00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,127 Imagine you're in Italy, 134 00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,652 and you have to "arriva-doody." 135 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,307 You know what? 136 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,787 Here is a hundred dollars. 137 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,572 I just bought your idea. 138 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,748 Now, stop talking about it. 139 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:18,666 Deal. Looks like I am getting that filling after all. 140 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,842 Morning.Good morning. 141 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,147 Oh, hey, morning. 142 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,758 What are you guys up to today? 143 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,890 I don't know. Maybe we'll go to a bar 144 00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,370 and let guys buy us drinks 145 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:28,110 if we're willing to make out with each other. 146 00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,286 ALLAN: Wait. 147 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,896 Is-is that a thing? 148 00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,550 You and I should run that scam with girls. 149 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,338 Hey, I've got an idea. 150 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,122 Let's go for a hike in the canyon. 151 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,211 I'd rather stay home and yodel in your canyon. 152 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,389 ♪ Yodel-ay-hee hoo-ha! ♪ 153 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:51,220 Come on, let's get some fresh air, hang out. 154 00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,569 Just the two of us. 155 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,180 Uh, yeah. Yeah, why not? Sounds great. 156 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,705 [clears her throat] Do you guys want to join us? 157 00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,185 Sure. 158 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,274 You can never have too much wood in the forest. 159 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,841 I can't. I'm busy. 160 00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,756 Always busy. 161 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,932 I can't remember the last time this one took me anywhere. 162 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:10,892 Hey, uh, Jenny, 163 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,067 here's a hundred dollars. 164 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:12,372 Lose him in the forest. 165 00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:19,030 ♪ Men.♪ 166 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,249 Yes? 167 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,033 Yeah, I'm looking for Nicole. 168 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,035 Are you my new dad? 169 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,472 Excuse me? 170 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,256 It's a joke. Try to keep up. 171 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,649 Who are you? 172 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,390 I'm Walden Schmidt. 173 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,349 Holy Schmidt! 174 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,573 Oh, my God. 175 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,792 Mr. Schmidt, it is such an honor to meet you. 176 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:43,141 I have a poster of you. 177 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,404 A poster? 178 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,753 Yeah, yeah, check it out. 179 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,450 I made it in college. 180 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,758 WALDEN: Wow. It's, uh... 181 00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,977 Wow. 182 00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,239 I cut and pasted Laura Dern's hair onto your face. 183 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,633 It's pretty breathtaking, right? 184 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,593 I'm sorry... uh, who are you? 185 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,290 Oh, uh, I-I'm Barry. Barry Foster. 186 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:03,597 But you can call me "BF," as in your biggest fan. 187 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:04,989 [laughs] 188 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,164 Walden! 189 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,166 Nicole, hi. 190 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,559 I read your proposal. 191 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:11,387 I'm interested. 192 00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:12,736 Really? 193 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,999 This is amazing. 194 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,218 This is amazing. [laughing] 195 00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,089 Oh, my fan fiction's come true. 196 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,656 NICOLE: Barry, 197 00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:20,744 we talked about this. 198 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:22,790 Right, right. Boundaries. 199 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,011 All right, here's-here's what I'm prepared to do. 200 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:31,189 In return for 51% of your company, 201 00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:35,542 and him never hugging me again, 202 00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,761 I will back your project. 203 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,241 I don't think I can do that. 204 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,416 Neither do I. [laughs] 205 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,852 Barry! 206 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,463 Okay. 207 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,420 Look, I can't give up control. 208 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,292 This company is my baby. 209 00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,469 But I will sell you a minority share 210 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:52,646 if you agree to work as my product engineer. 211 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,299 Oh, product engineer? 212 00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,301 I mean, do I look like Barry? 213 00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:57,825 No offense, Barry. 214 00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,131 Did you hear that? He knows my name. 215 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,917 I'm sorry, that's all I can offer you. 216 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,179 Well, then it's a pass. 217 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,050 All right, thanks for stopping by. 218 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,749 No, no, no, come on, this isn't how the story ends. 219 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,925 Hold on. Th... 220 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,449 That's it? No negotiating? 221 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,016 You heard my offer. 222 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:16,626 There's also a supplemental offer-- 223 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,542 uh, best friends for life. 224 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,413 All right, wait. All right, fine. I... 225 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,547 I will... work for you, 226 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,202 but I still need a majority position. 227 00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,030 Good-bye, Mr. Schmidt. 228 00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:32,207 What are you, like, some kind of evil Bond villain? 229 00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,078 All right... all right, all right, fine! 230 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,341 Deal. 231 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:40,215 I'll... be your number two. 232 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,738 [clearing throat] Well... 233 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,524 it'd actually be number three, but... 234 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,614 ♪ Men.♪ 235 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,224 Oh, thank God. 236 00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:50,225 [panting] 237 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,748 I'm coming, Charlie. 238 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,969 I hope you have a guest room in heaven. 239 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,710 You shouldn't feel so bad. 240 00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:59,060 He's in pretty good shape for a guy in his 60's. 241 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,757 He's 45. 242 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,193 Whoa. 243 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,805 I'll be right back. 244 00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:07,721 Ah... uh... do you mind? 245 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:08,765 Actually... [screams] 246 00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:12,073 Aah! It burns! It burns! 247 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:13,509 That's because it's vodka. 248 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:16,425 Who brings vodka on a hike? 249 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,688 Someone who thinks hikes should be fun. 250 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:21,648 Okay, that's it, I'm packing it in. 251 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,171 I think I saw a mom with a stroller. 252 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,738 I'm gonna hitch a ride back downhill. 253 00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,261 No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. 254 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:27,610 Don't leave me alone with Brooke. 255 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,351 What? Why not? She's great. 256 00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,788 Well, here's the thing. 257 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,356 She's-she's... she's always trying to... 258 00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,706 get to know me. 259 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,795 That bitch. 260 00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:41,145 She's always asking me these-these personal things. 261 00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:43,104 You know? 262 00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,801 "What are your dreams?" "What was your childhood like?" 263 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,324 "What's your last name?" 264 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,022 You are just like your dad. 265 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,501 He'd never open up to anybody 266 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,242 'cause he was afraid of rejection, 267 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,070 so he'd reject them first. 268 00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,116 I don't want to reject Brooke. 269 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:56,770 So, let her in. 270 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,294 If you don't take a chance, you haven't got one. 271 00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:00,991 Do you think I really believed 272 00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:02,950 that a complete stranger would let me live 273 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,734 in his Malibu beach house forever? 274 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,519 No. But I took a chance, and it paid off. 275 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,174 ♪ Men.♪ 276 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:13,482 [speaking lyrics]: Everybody get up, everybody get up... 277 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,571 [singing]: ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 278 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,791 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 279 00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,357 ♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪ 280 00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:20,576 Hey, hey, hey! 281 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,666 Oh, sorry. 282 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:24,972 Sometimes when I'm writing code, 283 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:27,278 I get kind of lost in my dope jams. 284 00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,454 Well, if you're gonna play music, just play it out loud. 285 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,326 You got it, number three. 286 00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,067 ♪ Talk about getting blasted ♪ 287 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,590 [singing along]: ♪ I hate these blurred lines ♪ 288 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,419 ♪ I know you want it ♪ 289 00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:38,942 [singing along]: ♪ I know you want it ♪ 290 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:40,640 ♪ I know you want it, but you're ♪ 291 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,207 ♪ A good girl ♪ 292 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,732 ♪ The way you grab me ♪ 293 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:46,907 ♪ Talkin' 'bout gettin' nasty ♪ 294 00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,126 ♪ Go ahead, get at me ♪ 295 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,388 ♪ Everybody get up ♪ 296 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,694 ♪ What do they make dreams for ♪ 297 00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,304 ♪ When you got them jeans on ♪ 298 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,306 ♪ What do we need steam for ♪ 299 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:56,743 ♪ You the hottest bitch ♪ 300 00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,701 ♪ In this place ♪Hey, hey, hey! 301 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,529 ♪ You want to hug me... ♪ 302 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:03,488 [music stops] 303 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:06,666 It was the new guy's idea. I was... 304 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,406 What's that, Barry? I can't hear you 305 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,017 from all the way under this bus. 306 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,716 So, how's the code coming? 307 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,109 Actually, you know, I had a thought. 308 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:19,069 Um, if we reconfigure this kernel, 309 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,462 we're gonna save a lot of time and money. 310 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:24,074 Yeah, it's-it's good. 311 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,642 [high-pitched]: It's just, uh... eh, it's-it's good. 312 00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,252 Wha-What do you think, Barry? 313 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,080 [high-pitched]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 314 00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:33,170 It's-it's good. It's good. 315 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:36,217 Why do you guys keep talking with high voices? 316 00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,697 Why do you keep saying, [high-pitched]: "It's good"? 317 00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,047 It is good. 318 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:42,049 Just, you know, for... 319 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,920 mmm... 2002. 320 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,530 Ouch. 321 00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:46,575 I believe the correct terminology in 2002 322 00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,925 was, "Oh, snap." 323 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:52,450 [clears throat] Okay. Um... 324 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,757 you know, I've been... I've been doing this for a... 325 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,237 a really long time, 326 00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:58,500 and I've-I've been really successful. 327 00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:01,546 I know. We studied you in school. 328 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:04,462 Oh, I get it. You guys... you guys are saying that I'm old? 329 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:05,942 No. Yeah. 330 00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:09,598 I thought we were going a different way. 331 00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:13,558 Look, I respect you enormously, but... 332 00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:16,431 I got to go with my gut. 333 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,606 Okay. No problem. 334 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,782 You're the boss. 335 00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:20,870 Thank you. 336 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,306 Now, who wants Chinese? 337 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,439 Are you paying? 'Cause I forgot my wallet... 338 00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:26,006 Yes, Barry. 339 00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,617 Hey, I got one just like him at home. 340 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,187 Boy, oh, boy, you could cut the sexual tension back there 341 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:34,144 with a knife. 342 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,016 Think she's into me? 343 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,018 No, not you. Me. 344 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,020 Me and her have had this whole "will they, won't they" thing 345 00:12:40,107 --> 00:12:42,109 going on for some time now. 346 00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:43,588 So it's like a... 347 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,547 Ross/Rachel thing? 348 00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:46,635 Who? 349 00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,159 Are those friends of yours? 350 00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:50,770 Oh, God. I am old. 351 00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,253 But with age comes wisdom. 352 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,385 [clears throat] 353 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,387 We're gonna do this my way. 354 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:00,736 What? 355 00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:02,433 Nicole is wrong about the code. 356 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,608 I'm sending you a file. We're gonna rewrite it. 357 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,959 Oh, this is bad. 358 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:06,960 This is bad. 359 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:09,005 I'm stuck between my hero 360 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,225 and-and the future mother of my children. 361 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,792 Come on, Barry. 362 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:16,143 Don't you want to be on a poster with me? 363 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,840 Hop on the eagle, man. Let's soar together. 364 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,713 I don't know. I don't... I don't know. 365 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,629 You know you want it. 366 00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:27,894 ♪ You know you want it ♪ 367 00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:28,982 ♪ You know you want it ♪ 368 00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:31,549 ♪ I'm a good girl ♪ 369 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,638 ♪ Men.♪ 370 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:40,167 ♪ Men.♪Oh, good. You're home. 371 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,516 I need to talk to you. Oh, 372 00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:42,952 you know, actually, I'm not. 373 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,911 I'm just here for the essentials. 374 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:47,870 Shower, change of clothes, bag of performance-enhancing weed. 375 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,132 Th-This won't take long. 376 00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,134 Uh, will you look at this picture? 377 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,136 Let me see. 378 00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,051 Was this taken from the Mars rover? 379 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,313 No, that's my balls. 380 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,575 [groans] 381 00:13:57,662 --> 00:14:00,274 Dude! What the hell? 382 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:01,666 They've been burning ever since I went on that hike. 383 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,060 Maybe somebody's talking about 'em. 384 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,714 No, I'm serious. What could it be? 385 00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,456 I don't know. What, like, poison oak? 386 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:09,979 I did take a leak in the bushes. 387 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:13,069 And yet you couldn't go in a coffee shop. 388 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,636 Just look at the picture. 389 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:15,637 Yeah. Fine. I can't believe I'm gonna... 390 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:18,683 zoom in on your balls. 391 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:21,730 I'm not gonna be able to... 392 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:22,818 Oh, my God. 393 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:25,995 It's a tick. 394 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,170 What? 395 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,650 You got a tick on your junk. 396 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,782 Oh, God! 397 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,742 Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! 398 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:34,874 What's with him? 399 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,354 He's got a tick on his 'nads. 400 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:41,010 Huh. I never thought anything could live off Zippy. 401 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,274 ♪ Men.♪ 402 00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,670 I don't see how this is gonna make us more productive, 403 00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:51,847 but I really don't care. 404 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,154 And that is the beauty of pot. [chuckles] 405 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,460 You got work to do, you don't care. 406 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,854 You got bills to pay, you don't care. [chuckles] 407 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,638 You see a picture of your roommate's gonads... 408 00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:03,772 you care. 409 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:04,773 [chuckles] 410 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,777 But the image is fading. 411 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,606 Yeah, marijuana is excellent. 412 00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,130 I don't know why I waited this long to try it. 413 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,263 Wait a second-- you've never been high before? 414 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,829 I wanted it to be special. And now I can tell everybody 415 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,746 my first time was with Walden Schmidt. 416 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,923 Hey, when you tell that story, 417 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:27,970 maybe throw in a few more details. 418 00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,451 [chuckles] Hey, aren't you glad we took a second to relax? 419 00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,322 Mmm. Totally. 420 00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:35,630 You know, I kind of forgot the meaning of the word "relax." 421 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,241 Relax, relax, relax. 422 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,200 Oh, God. I don't remember what it means either. 423 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:42,942 I'm losing my words. 424 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,987 No, this is exactly, exactly 425 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:47,033 what the commercials warned me about. 426 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,817 Barry, calm down. 427 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,820 Just take a deep breath, close your eyes, count to ten. 428 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,430 All right, I trust you with my life. 429 00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:54,866 You're my best friend. 430 00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:57,695 One... 431 00:15:57,782 --> 00:16:00,350 two... 432 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:01,786 Oh, my God, we have ice cream sandwiches in the freezer. 433 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,486 Hey, man, grab me one! 434 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,183 Mmm, no, grab me two! 435 00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:11,927 I want to make an ice cream sandwich sandwich. 436 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,885 That is an awesome idea. 437 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,805 Are you staring at me or am I just really paranoid? 438 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:24,984 There's nothing to be paranoid about. 439 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,724 She's on to us. Abort. I repeat, abort. 440 00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,858 I hate you. 441 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,557 You don't. You like me. 442 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,385 You know what. Doesn't matter. 443 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:38,823 Because I have a policy about dating people I work with. 444 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:42,740 Yeah, but it's your policy, so... 445 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:43,915 you can break it. 446 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,658 You're the boss. 447 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:50,052 I am, aren't I? 448 00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:53,838 I guess that makes me the wo-man. 449 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:57,233 You guys. 450 00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,757 I got great news. 451 00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:00,932 Ice cream sandwiches are in the oven. 452 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,630 They'll be ready in five. 453 00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:05,459 ♪ Men.♪ 454 00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:06,895 You want a refill? 455 00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:09,028 Uh, no, I-I don't want to get drunk. 456 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,421 Oh, my God, did I somehow get you pregnant? 457 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,641 I want to get to know you better, 458 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,860 and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. 459 00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,776 I really like you. Um... 460 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,213 That's new for me. 461 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,563 Hey, I feel the exact same way. 462 00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,000 I've never felt this vulnerable with someone. 463 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,742 You know, when it didn't involve a safe word. 464 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,352 So what are we gonna do? 465 00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,746 We can start by being honest with each other. 466 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,878 That's horrible. Hey. 467 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:37,012 Come on. Let's do this. 468 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,320 Tell me a secret, something you've never told anyone else. 469 00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,191 Something is wrong with my balls. 470 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,282 Something like that. 471 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:47,849 I just... I-I had a tick and I pulled it off 472 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,938 and now they won't stop swelling 473 00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:50,982 and I'm afraid they're gonna explode. 474 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,854 So why are you telling us? 475 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,683 Because Brooke works in a salon. 476 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:58,381 She waxes people. Maybe she's seen something like this before. 477 00:17:58,468 --> 00:17:59,730 All right, l-let's see. 478 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:01,602 Oh! 479 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,995 Oh... 480 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,215 Boy, if I wasn't gay before... 481 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,827 ♪ Men.♪ 482 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:13,222 [exhales] Check it out, dude. 483 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,837 Where's your other hand in that picture? 484 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,189 What the hell? 485 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,104 Three people can't fit on an eagle. 486 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:30,239 You-you changed my code. 487 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,285 Yeah. I made it better. 488 00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,591 No, you didn't. We went over this. 489 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,985 [chuckles] Okay. Everybody who's made a billion dollars 490 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:40,119 off their software in this room, raise your hand. 491 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,990 [gasps, chuckles] 492 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,297 Look at that. It's just me.Okay. 493 00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:48,475 Everyone who owns 51% of this company, raise their hand. 494 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:52,479 [chuckles] Look at that. Just me. 495 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:54,002 Everybody who's still a little high 496 00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:55,221 and is worried that that's... 497 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:58,789 never gonna stop, raise your hand. 498 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:02,576 Crap. That's just me. 499 00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,491 Listen, just go 500 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:05,709 with me on this. 501 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,755 No, I don't work for you anymore. 502 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,801 Okay, look, I know you think you know what you're doing. 503 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,717 But, trust me, you don't. 504 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:17,025 And I know you think you still work here, 505 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,027 but, trust me, you don't. 506 00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,466 You're fired. 507 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,468 [whirring] 508 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,905 Oh, snap. 509 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,300 Look, I-I was just trying to help. 510 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:34,825 Well, it's gonna take me a day to undo your "help." 511 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:38,960 A day? Come on. I can undo this in an hour. 512 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:42,746 You should just... you should just go, dude. 513 00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:44,574 Okay. 514 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,141 Fine. 515 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:47,577 If that's what you want. 516 00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,013 It is. 517 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,973 Barry, it was an honor to fly with you. 518 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:55,716 Honor was all mine. 519 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,501 At ease. 520 00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:02,157 All right. 521 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,550 Oh, uh, one last thing. 522 00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:05,813 We're done. 523 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,249 I don't work with you anymore. 524 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:08,772 That's what "you're fired" means. 525 00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:11,253 Good. So this isn't a bad idea anymore. 526 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:20,219 Can I be fired, too? 527 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,309 ♪ Men.♪ 528 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,489 ♪ Men.♪ Okay. [grunts] Okay. 529 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:32,405 Um, I just, uh, want to point out that, 530 00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:34,494 uh, due to my engorged testicles, 531 00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:37,671 uh, my penis is not currently to scale, 532 00:20:37,758 --> 00:20:39,107 so... 533 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,978 Yeah, yeah, here it is. 534 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,980 When you pulled out the tick, you didn't get all of it 535 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,547 so it got inflamed. Oh. 536 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:45,635 [groans] 537 00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:47,071 It's like you're the Hulk, 538 00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:50,814 but only your balls got angry. 539 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,252 You know, this is what relationships are all about. 540 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:56,385 Watching your girlfriend pull a tick out of your uncle's junk. 541 00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:59,823 Aw. I'm your girlfriend? 542 00:21:01,912 --> 00:21:04,393 If it's a boy, name it Walden. 543 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,134 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 544 00:21:06,221 --> 00:21:08,267 and TOYOTA 545 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,311 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org