1 00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,699 ♪ Men ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:06,615 - Oh. Hey. - Hi. 3 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,530 I thought you and Alan were going out to dinner. 4 00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:10,053 We were supposed to, but then he discovered 5 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:13,317 his coupon was only good for "to-go" orders. 6 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,580 - That guy's a piece of work. - He is. 7 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:19,149 Which is ironic, 'cause he never seems to go to work. 8 00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,195 That's true. 9 00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:24,067 That being said, I do envy what you guys have. 10 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:27,723 You guys are like termites. 11 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,203 - Termites? - Yeah. 12 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,682 They mate for life, and once they live 13 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:34,077 in your house, you can never get rid of 'em. 14 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,384 Just like Alan. 15 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,038 You alright? 16 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,691 Yeah, I.. 17 00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:41,084 ...I have to do something with him tonight 18 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,999 that's going to be really painful. 19 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,523 Okay, that's between two consenting adults. 20 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,308 No. 21 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,399 I'm breaking up with him. 22 00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,401 What? 23 00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:55,707 But you guys are great together. 24 00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,449 You're so beautiful 25 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,843 and smart and fun. 26 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:03,019 And Alan's so.. 27 00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,455 ...lucky. 28 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,632 I don't want to hurt him. 29 00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,895 Then do something else. 30 00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,984 Disneyland, dancing, bowling 31 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,943 pretty much anything but break up with him. 32 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,597 I have to. 33 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:17,120 But you and I are his world. 34 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:19,253 And if you leave, I'll be his world. 35 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,602 I'm sorry. 36 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:21,864 No, I don't think you heard me. 37 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,867 I'll be his world! 38 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:26,956 I feel so bad. 39 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:30,568 Alright. Come here. 40 00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:36,096 This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 41 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:39,055 And I pushed a baby out of my vagina. 42 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,928 [Alan] 'I'm back!' 43 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,974 Don't say anything. 44 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,324 Oh. Hey, Walden. Want to join us? 45 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,414 Uh...no, thanks. 46 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:53,113 Hey, what do you say we all go bowling? 47 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,549 'Huh?' 48 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:57,595 Doesn't that sound fun? Just bowling? 49 00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,642 No, I, I think we're just gonna stay in tonight. 50 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,339 Uh, oh, but I have a confession to make. 51 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,863 I, uh, opened my fortune cookie in the car.. 52 00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,604 ...and listen to this. 53 00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:09,303 Uh..."Your life is about to take a turn for the better." 54 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,788 I think you may have gotten Lyndsey's cookie. 55 00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:20,836 ♪ Men men men men ♪ 56 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,403 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 57 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,013 ♪ Men men men men ♪♪ Oo-o-o-o-h ♪ 58 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,884 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 59 00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,626 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 60 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:30,933 ♪ Ooh hoo hoo, ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ 61 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,282 ♪ Men men men men ♪ 62 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,066 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 63 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,764 ♪ Men men men men ♪ 64 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,896 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 65 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,811 ♪ Men ♪♪ 66 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,820 ♪ Men ♪♪ 67 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:49,865 Would you like another glass of wi-- 68 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,388 Yes. 69 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,441 Oh, you know, I was thinking, uh 70 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,530 after dinner we could light a fire. 71 00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:05,185 Don't worry, I've got all the wood we'll need. 72 00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,282 Cute. 73 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,458 Uh, you seem awfully quiet tonight. 74 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:18,763 Is everything okay? 75 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,635 I-I've just got a lot on my mind. 76 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,550 Hmm, what is it, sweetie? 77 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,595 Oh, boy. 78 00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:26,118 I don't know how to say this. 79 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,730 Well, a problem shared is a problem halved. 80 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,862 It's kind of like that fried rice 81 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,734 although I noticed you didn't touch your half 82 00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,605 despite the fact that you had to order it 83 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,128 even though the white rice was free 84 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,784 and the coupon specifically said "No substitutions." 85 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,395 I think we should break up. 86 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,485 Excuse me. 87 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,926 Are you okay? 88 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,380 You owe me $22.50 for dinner. 89 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,080 - Hey, Berta. - Just finishing up. 90 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,430 Then I'll get out of your way. 91 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,953 No, I think you should stay here. 92 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,433 Alright. 93 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,261 Let me take a quick shower first. 94 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,439 Lyndsey's downstairs breaking up with Alan. 95 00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,571 - Really? - Yeah. 96 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,922 Well, we knew this was coming. 97 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,707 First time I saw them together 98 00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,710 I asked her to blink twice if she was being held hostage. 99 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,235 He's gonna be devastated. 100 00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,541 I mean, he's madly in love with her 101 00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:41,933 they've been dating for years. 102 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,544 They were planning on getting married. 103 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:46,024 Oh, my God, he's never gonna leave my house. 104 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:49,158 It's sweet that you actually thought he was going to. 105 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,813 Why do people have to break up? 106 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,467 Well, in my experience 107 00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:56,296 either the magic wears off, or the mushrooms. 108 00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,778 I feel really bad for him. 109 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,345 I mean, I always feel bad for him. 110 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:04,478 But I feel reallybad for him. 111 00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,306 Yeah, yeah. It's tough. 112 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,308 We gonna do this thing or what? 113 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,140 I don't understand. Where is this coming from? 114 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,881 There's no spark anymore. 115 00:05:16,968 --> 00:05:18,927 All we do is sit around, watch TV and eat takeout 116 00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,885 from whatever restaurant you have a coupon for. 117 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,147 Did you want to go to the food court? 118 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,541 'Cause we can do that. 119 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,717 - Alan, it's not that. - Then, what is it? 120 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,502 I mean, I-I-I thought you were happy. 121 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,068 I-I thought everything was great. 122 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,288 It was, but-but things change, people change. 123 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:35,204 That's not true. I don't change. I never change. 124 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:36,727 Maybe that's part of the problem. 125 00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,338 I can change. 126 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,035 I-I know this is upsetting 127 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,646 but-but better to do this now before it gets worse. 128 00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,256 How can it be worse? 129 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,823 You gonna tell me you've been faking it all these years? 130 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,304 Don't answer that. 131 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,611 - Alan, I have to go. - Fine, go. 132 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:53,222 Don't go. 133 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:55,180 I am really sorry. 134 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:59,010 The thing is I-I still love you, Alan. 135 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,230 I'm just not in love with you anymore. 136 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,019 It's not a deal-breaker. 137 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,458 ♪ Men ♪♪ 138 00:06:11,545 --> 00:06:13,024 You okay? 139 00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,200 I guess. 140 00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:17,202 I suppose it's better that she broke up with me now 141 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,204 than after we got married. 142 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,772 Then she would've gotten half of all my stuff. 143 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,432 Sure. 144 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,959 You know, I'm here for you. 145 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,787 I know that and, and I appreciate it. 146 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,486 But...I'm good. 147 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:40,661 Good. 148 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,708 - Walden? - Yeah? 149 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:49,321 I'm not good. 150 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,976 I love her. 151 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,369 I know you do. 152 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,545 I'll never find another one like her. 153 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,112 I know you won't. 154 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,552 I'm-I'm just saying, I-I know how great she is. 155 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,380 You're gonna be fine. 156 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:07,296 You Just.. You have to focus on the good things in your life. 157 00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:10,081 Lyndsey was the only good thing in my life. 158 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:11,735 - Oh, God.. - It's okay. 159 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:12,823 [sobbing] 160 00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:14,303 Let it all out. 161 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:18,394 [sobbing] 162 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:23,181 That's a lot out. Let's-let's put some back in. 163 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:31,059 Now you're all I have! 164 00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:34,062 [sobbing] 165 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:43,114 [sobbing] 166 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:44,855 I know. 167 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,077 ♪ Men ♪♪ 168 00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:51,949 Good morning. Beautiful day. 169 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,256 To...stick your head in an oven? 170 00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,565 Okay, I realize I was a little upset last night. 171 00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:00,088 A little? You googled 172 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,133 "How to kill yourself without it hurting." 173 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,527 Drama queen. 174 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:06,355 But I woke up this morning 175 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,226 and I realized, "What am I so upset about?" 176 00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:10,011 Lyndsey and I are not breaking up. 177 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,885 Okay. So, when she said 178 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,974 that she didn't want to see you anymore 179 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,281 and she didn't think you made a good couple 180 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,283 and she wasn't in love with you, that.. 181 00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,632 What do you call that? 182 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:23,720 Foreplay. 183 00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,507 Okay. Looks like someone's starting the day 184 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,944 with a hot, steaming cup of denial. 185 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,468 No, no, no. This is a little dance we do all the time. 186 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,209 She decides that I did something wrong 187 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,603 and gives me the business and then I apologize 188 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:37,952 and I give her the business. 189 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:42,913 Okay, see, that right there. 190 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,828 That's why she broke up with you. 191 00:08:44,915 --> 00:08:47,875 I'm telling you, we are not broken up. 192 00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,572 Okay, I see what you're doing here. 193 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,922 But pretending like what happened didn't happen 194 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,968 won't make it not happen no matter what you would like 195 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,318 to have had happened. 196 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,537 Yeah, that's right. 197 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,714 Well, thank you, I appreciate it. 198 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:04,065 But if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get my girl back. 199 00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,589 Okay. Just in case, I'll preheat the oven. 200 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,072 ♪ Men ♪♪ 201 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,508 [doorbell rings] 202 00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:18,862 Alan? What are you doing here? 203 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,298 What am I doing here? 204 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,822 That's what I love about you. 205 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,475 Okay, let's do this. 206 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,694 I'm sorry. 207 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,569 There's nothing to be sorry about. 208 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,571 Our relationship just isn't going anywhere. 209 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:34,399 Alright, alright. Message received, loud and clear. 210 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:35,923 Now let's get down to bidness. 211 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,840 Alan, it's over. 212 00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:41,450 But, but why? 213 00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:42,973 It-it just is. 214 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,193 Is it because we don't like the same things? 215 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,761 'Cause I can learn to love sports. 216 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,371 It has nothing to do with that. 217 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,634 Is it because I'm-I'm frugal? Okay, watch this. 218 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:55,856 I'm going to rip a twent-a five-dollar bill in half. 219 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,597 Okay? 220 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,772 Tell me that's not sexy. 221 00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:02,950 Okay, look.. 222 00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,255 I didn't want to have to say this 223 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:08,172 but the fact of the matter is.. 224 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,957 ...I've met someone else. 225 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,436 Oh. Wow. Wow. 226 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,701 Uh, world spinning, uh, gut tightening 227 00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:16,354 vomit rising, um.. 228 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:17,834 I'm really sorry. 229 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,531 - Well, well, who is he? - What's the difference? 230 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,969 Well, I-I need to know who my competition is. 231 00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:24,275 I-I need to know how I can win. 232 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:27,452 You can't win. Goodbye, Alan. 233 00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:31,152 Well, I have got news for you. 234 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:34,329 The word "win" is not in my vocabular.. 235 00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:37,593 "Can't." The word "can't" is not in my vocabulary. 236 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:39,856 Damn it. 237 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:42,554 Ah! Son of a bitch! 238 00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:45,688 Aah! Ah! 239 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,516 Oh! 240 00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:51,563 [Alan] 'Of course.' 241 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:52,695 'Dog crap.' 242 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,089 ♪ Men ♪♪ 243 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,138 ♪ Men ♪♪ 244 00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:08,319 Hey, there's soup on the stove if you want some. 245 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,365 I wonder if Lyndsey's new boyfriend likes soup. 246 00:11:11,453 --> 00:11:13,542 He probably loves soup. 247 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:16,240 And wears cable knit sweaters. 248 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:18,242 "Look at me, I'm eating soup 249 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,375 "and wearing a sweater while I bang the memory 250 00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,203 of Alan Harper out of this woman's mind." 251 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,727 [laughing] 252 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,168 - Alan, let it go. - You brought it up. 253 00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:32,735 I brought up soup. 254 00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,173 I can't stop thinking about him. 255 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,263 And her. And what they're doing. 256 00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:42,049 And what position they're doing it in. 257 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,833 And where they're doing it. 258 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,140 In the bed, in the shower, at the Costco 259 00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:49,883 between the meat and the tires. That was our place! 260 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,451 That shouldn't be anyone's place. 261 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,366 - And you're obsessing. - No, I'm not. 262 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,499 Right, we all picture our exes screw 263 00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:58,935 between a rump roast and a snow tire. 264 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,547 You know what, I-I'm gonna go for a drive. 265 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,898 - Where? - Just out, you know, joyride. 266 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,552 I've seen your car, there's no joy in that ride. 267 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:10,773 Now where are you going? 268 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,514 I'm just gonna drive up the coast a little bit. 269 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,863 Take in the sea air. 270 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,778 How? Your windows don't roll down. 271 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,128 Just the ones in the front. The ones in the back don't roll up. 272 00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:19,390 Goodbye. 273 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,742 I should buy him a new car. 274 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:23,960 So he can live in it. 275 00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:28,965 ♪ Men ♪♪ 276 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,838 Alright. Where are they? 277 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:36,930 They're probably watching sports right now. 278 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,410 "Hello, Lyndsey, you don't mind if I watch 279 00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,717 this baseball game in the nude, do you?" 280 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,808 "Sure, you can kiss me between the strikes 281 00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,985 and I'll kiss you between the balls." 282 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,466 [cell phone ringing] 283 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,817 Oh. 284 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,340 Hey, Walden. 285 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,125 Yeah, I'm just, uh, you know, taking a drive 286 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:01,171 down the Malibu coast, trying to clear my head. 287 00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,217 Yeah, now I'm, uh, I'm walking on the beach. 288 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,175 Sand feels nice on my toesies. 289 00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:06,350 Whoa! 290 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,313 Walking on the beach, huh? 291 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,097 - Are you stalking me? - Are you stalking Lyndsey? 292 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,012 I asked you first. 293 00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,013 Look, this is pathetic. 294 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,536 Sitting outside a woman's house 295 00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,538 trying to catch of glimpse of her through the window. 296 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,062 What kind of person does that? 297 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,063 [knock on window] 298 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,064 [both gasping] 299 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,676 Hey, guys, what are we doing? 300 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:30,157 Playing a little peek-a-boo with Lyndsey? 301 00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,158 No. 302 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,855 Yes. 303 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:34,335 Lyndsey broke up with Alan 304 00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:35,902 and he's having a hard time understanding. 305 00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,381 Oh, well, one look at the new guy 306 00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:39,079 and you'd understand it. 307 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,821 - What, you've seen him? - Oh, yeah. Nick's gorgeous. 308 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:45,085 - Kind of looks like Walden. - Aw, thank you. 309 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:47,000 Y-you know his name, so you-you've met him? 310 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,915 Well, no, but I've heard her yell it. 311 00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,308 It's either "Nick" or "Oh-God-Right-There." 312 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,398 Oh, that's it. 313 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,400 I got to see this Nick guy for myself. 314 00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,795 No, Alan, don't. 315 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,579 You're better than this. 316 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,364 [Alan] 'We both know that's not true!' 317 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281 Yeah, I feel for him. It's got to be tough. 318 00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,936 Yeah, no doubt. 319 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:11,459 You really are a very handsome man. 320 00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:15,202 Again, thank you. 321 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,900 It's not hard to imagine you naked and cast in marble. 322 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,079 Getting weird, Herb. 323 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,124 Right. 324 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:30,434 ♪ Men ♪♪ 325 00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,654 Alright. 326 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,177 Where are you, you home-wrecker? 327 00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:35,439 Oh! 328 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:46,973 That's better. 329 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,540 [hooting] 330 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,673 Ugh. Aah! 331 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,592 [Alan] 'Can this get any worse?' 332 00:14:57,679 --> 00:15:00,464 [Lyndsey] 'Oh, God, Nick, right there!' 333 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,163 [Alan] 'Aw.' 334 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,340 ♪ Men ♪♪ 335 00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,604 [beeping] 336 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,998 Lyndsey, hey! 337 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:14,000 Hey, I need your help. 338 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:17,220 You need my help getting back together with Alan? 339 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:20,223 No. I need you to tell him to stop calling, e-mailing 340 00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,399 and texting me. Words and pictures. 341 00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:23,661 Especially the pictures. 342 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,230 He's just upset. He means well. 343 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:30,103 Really? Does this picture look like he means well? 344 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,365 Oh, dear God. 345 00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:35,151 Is he lying on my kitchen table? 346 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:38,720 So, will you talk to him? 347 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:42,724 Sure, right after I burn my kitchen table. 348 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:46,206 Thank you. By the way, you might want to burn your bathtub too. 349 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,513 Oh, he's coming now. Got to go. 350 00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:52,952 [groaning] 351 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:56,564 Hey. There he is. 352 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,957 Looking good. 353 00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:00,785 Ha-ha. 354 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,223 [grunting] 355 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,442 Where you going? 356 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,531 Lyndsey un-friended me on Facebook. 357 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,794 So I'm gonna go re-friend her with my face. 358 00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:12,536 No, you're not. 359 00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,234 You can't stop me. 360 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,853 Damn you. 361 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:27,551 [instrumental music] 362 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,249 ♪ Men ♪♪ 363 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,514 [knock on door] 364 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,517 - Hey, Zip. - Oh, what do you want? 365 00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:39,302 A motorcycle and another night with Neil Diamond. 366 00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,610 But for now, we need to talk. 367 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,829 I just want to be left alone. 368 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,441 Like I'm gonna be for the rest of my life. 369 00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,921 Look, Lyndsey's crazy for breaking up with you. 370 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,359 - You are a great guy. - You're just saying that. 371 00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:55,362 I know I'm rough on you, but that's just for fun. 372 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,016 I really mean this. 373 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,627 Oh, thank you. 374 00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:01,368 Alright, good talk. 375 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,023 - How? - What? 376 00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:06,982 How am I a great guy? 377 00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:09,506 [sighs] 378 00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,597 Well, you're punctual. 379 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,470 I-I do make it a priority to be on time. 380 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,428 - Yep. - What else? 381 00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,083 [sighs] 382 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,391 Okay. 383 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:27,307 You have pretty good toilet aim. 384 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,483 And that's important to a housekeeper. 385 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,529 My secret is, I sit down. 386 00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:36,403 And that should've stayed a secret. 387 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,013 Take care. 388 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,536 Berta? 389 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,798 What? 390 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,150 I-i-if I'm such a great guy 391 00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,587 then why did Lyndsey leave me? 392 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:49,155 Oh, there's no telling with chicks. 393 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:52,201 But don't worry. You'll find somebody else. 394 00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:53,550 As good as Lyndsey? 395 00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,161 [laughing] 396 00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:58,512 Look at you, already making jokes. 397 00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,910 - How'd it go? - He's gonna die alone. 398 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,782 And he pees sitting down. 399 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,307 ♪ Men ♪♪ 400 00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,529 I really don't want to be here, Walden. 401 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:16,747 What are you talking about? 402 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:17,922 You're doing great. 403 00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:20,229 You shaved, you showered. 404 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,057 You realized wearing Lyndsey's underwear 405 00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:23,885 wasn't a long-term solution. 406 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:26,931 I may have it together on the outside 407 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,803 but on the inside, I'm still a wreck. 408 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,153 I just want to go home and eat ice cream on the toilet 409 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,981 until I fall asleep. 410 00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,896 Would you listen to yourself? 411 00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:37,290 Trust me, tonight is gonna be fun. 412 00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,640 Okay. But if it's not, you're gonna have to watch 413 00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:41,816 "The Notebook" with me. 414 00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,339 Really? Again? 415 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,081 [Allie] 'Walden.' 416 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,127 Oh, hey, Allie, hi. 417 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,868 This is, uh, my friend Alan I was telling you about. 418 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:52,566 - Hi, Alan. - Hello. 419 00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,263 You two have a lot in common. 420 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,004 Really? 421 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,006 You know your girlfriend's new boyfriend, Nick? 422 00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,268 Yeah. 423 00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,618 I'm his soon-to-be ex-wife. 424 00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:04,665 I'll just let you two talk. 425 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:08,843 Oh, oh. You know, I-I can see what Walden's trying to do here 426 00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:11,672 and he means well, but, um, I-I don't know 427 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,761 that I'm emotionally ready to jump back into the relation-- 428 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,066 How do you feel about revenge sex? 429 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,156 Big fan. I'll get the check. 430 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,114 ♪ Men ♪♪ 431 00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:24,989 ♪ Men ♪♪ 432 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:29,037 Well, well, well. 433 00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:31,909 Look who's doing the walk of shame. 434 00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,781 More like the stride of pride. 435 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,567 Guess who heard, oh, God, right there 436 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,047 multiple times last night? 437 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,006 Not Nick. 438 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,921 Well, congratulations. I'm very happy for you. 439 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,184 I have you to thank you for it. 440 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,533 Ah, I didn't do anything. 441 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,535 Tracking Allie down couldn't have been easy. 442 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,101 It wasn't that hard. 443 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,102 When we were outside Lyndsey's house 444 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,713 she was parked right behind us. 445 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,543 Which is ironic, because last night I was parked-- 446 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,588 Alright, alright, I got it, I got it. 447 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,722 I'm happy you're feeling better. 448 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,419 Oh, yeah. 449 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,900 And let me tell you, revenge sex is way better 450 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,728 than revenge masturbation. 451 00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:14,604 Course, there's no reason you can't do both. 452 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,003 Oh, God, why am I eating on this table? 453 00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,006 ♪ Men ♪♪ 454 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,185 ♪ Men men men men ♪ 455 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,752 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 456 00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:33,057 ♪ Men men men men ♪♪ Oo-o-o-o-h ♪ 457 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,929 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 458 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,845 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 459 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,977 ♪ Oo hoo hoo ooh hoo hoo oo ♪ 460 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,283 ♪ Men men men men ♪ 461 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,285 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 462 00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,808 ♪ Men men men men ♪ 463 00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:47,028 ♪ Manly men men men ♪ 464 00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:48,290 ♪ Men ♪♪