1 00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:03,916 [Jake] Previously on "Two And A Half Men.." 2 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,572 Zoey, will you do me the honor of becoming.. 3 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:12,751 ...Zoey Hyde-Tottingham-Pierce-Schmidt? 4 00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:15,537 No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. 5 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,017 ♪ She can.. ♪♪ 6 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:22,892 - I need an answer. - There's someone else. 7 00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:25,286 Look, I'm just gonna be alone for a while. 8 00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:28,289 And if the real thing comes along, I'll know it. 9 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:32,858 Excuse me... can I have your nuts? 10 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:35,687 This girl's really interesting. Actually I think you know her. 11 00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:36,949 Her name's Rose. 12 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,126 See you. 13 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,866 And she's devious and deceptive. 14 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,304 She's probably listening to us right now. Heh. 15 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:46,220 Hey, Rose. How you doing? 16 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,657 I told Alan that we met. Boy, did you call that one. 17 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,702 Let me guess, at some point did he say 18 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,965 "She's probably listening to us now!" 19 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,794 "Hey, Rose! How you doing?" 20 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:59,146 - He is very suspicious of you. - Are you suspicious of me? 21 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,061 I'm more curious than suspicious. 22 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,975 - Good. - So, what do you say? 23 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,630 - Dinner? - To dinner. 24 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,372 It will be nice to go out with someone normal for a change. 25 00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,508 ♪ Men ♪♪ 26 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,379 [panting] 27 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,209 Yay. 28 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,256 Yay, indeed. 29 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,780 Ooh. 30 00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,956 We went a mile and a half. 31 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,262 What is that, a pedometer? 32 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,742 Yeah, I'm measuring our sex life. 33 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:34,442 And as of today, we are in Laughlin, Nevada. 34 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,922 Well, I believe I did most of the driving. 35 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:40,578 Yes, but when you got a flat, I stopped and pumped it up. 36 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,974 [sighs] 37 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:48,195 Call me crazy, and the state of California did for a while.. 38 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,241 ...but these last couple of weeks 39 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,243 have been the best of my life. 40 00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,332 Mm. They have been great. 41 00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:59,031 With the last mile and a half being a particular high point. 42 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,642 That's because you finally stopped 43 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,296 and asked for directions. 44 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:10,347 - Okay, I better get going. - Wait, no, no. stay the night. 45 00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:12,480 All my stuff is at my house, silly. 46 00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:15,483 - What stuff? - I don't know, my toothbrush. 47 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:18,660 - You can use mine. - Ugh. 48 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,705 After what we just did you're really concerned 49 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,446 with having my toothbrush in your mouth? 50 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:28,539 I'm just saying, at some point I have to go home. 51 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:34,197 What if you never had to go home? 52 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,417 Do you mean, like you're gonna tie me up 53 00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:39,333 and keep me bound and gagged in the closet? 54 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:40,943 Uh, no. 55 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:45,382 I was thinking more like you move in with me. 56 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,471 Mm. That's a little odd. 57 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,692 I mean, come on, you said so yourself 58 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,520 the last few weeks have been fantastic. 59 00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:56,437 - We get along great. Why not? - Why not? 60 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:59,614 Because I don't wanna be a flavorless cracker. 61 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,746 Sure. 62 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,575 What? 63 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:07,665 Well, you know, when you order a cheese plate 64 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,407 and you get two different kinds of stinky cheese 65 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:13,976 and then you eat that little bland, unsalted cracker 66 00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,717 in between to cleanse your palate? 67 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,111 Not really. 68 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,113 But you explained it pretty well. 69 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,160 Well, I don't wanna be the bland cracker. 70 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:27,119 I wanna be the stinky cheese. 71 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,383 Okay, I think I understand. 72 00:03:29,470 --> 00:03:31,341 You're concerned because I just got out 73 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:34,736 of a serious relationship and you don't want to be the girl 74 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,390 that gets me to the next one. 75 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:40,220 - Exactly. - Well, trust me. 76 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,701 You are the stinkiest cheese I have ever met. 77 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:48,010 So sweet. 78 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,186 I don't know, it's moving so quickly. 79 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,884 I mean, who could've seen this coming? 80 00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,627 Well, I know it's moving quick. 81 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:59,456 But I'm the kind of person when I see something I want 82 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,980 I stop at nothing to get it. 83 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:05,201 Well, I guess opposites really do attract. 84 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:13,775 Just promise me that you'll think about it. 85 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:16,430 And you'll think about tying me up in your closet? 86 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:19,433 I will. 87 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,782 That seems fair. 88 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,917 You know if we get started now 89 00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:29,312 we could make it to Salt Lake City by daybreak. 90 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:32,968 Ooh. Okay, but this time I'm driving. 91 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:37,973 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 92 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,281 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 93 00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:44,022 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 94 00:04:44,109 --> 00:04:46,286 ♪ Oo hoo hoo hoo hoo oo ♪ 95 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:49,158 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 96 00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:53,249 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 97 00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:54,903 ♪ Men ♪♪ 98 00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,957 ♪ Men ♪♪ 99 00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,351 I can't believe this, after everything she's done. 100 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,092 I know, how did someone like that 101 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,485 worm their way back in here? 102 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:16,098 Maybe she learned from the master. 103 00:05:16,185 --> 00:05:18,492 I'm just worry she's gonna take advantage of Walden. 104 00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:20,929 You do hear yourself when you talk, right? 105 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,366 Yes, yes, I'm a mooch, but I'm not dangerous. 106 00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:29,720 Some night, I'm gonna get drunk and try that. 107 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,332 Here he comes, here he comes. 108 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,510 - Morning. - Morning. 109 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:39,382 Well, uh, how's everything going with my favorite couple? 110 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,602 Walden and Rose. 111 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,125 Wose. 112 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:47,477 Ralden. 113 00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,523 Look, Alan, I know you're suspicious of her. 114 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,525 But she really makes me happy. 115 00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,745 No, I totally get that and I don't wanna sound judgmental 116 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,052 but she scares the living crap out of me. 117 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:59,010 Well, you're gonna have to make peace with it. 118 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:03,101 'Cause not only do I like Rose, I asked her to move in with me. 119 00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:04,364 [Berta laughing] 120 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,541 What's so funny? 121 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,499 If you don't know, it's too late. 122 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,548 ♪ Men ♪♪ 123 00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:16,027 [phone ringing] 124 00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:17,289 Oh, that's my cell. 125 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,682 Could you grab it for me? 126 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,207 It says, "Do not answer." 127 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:23,905 Oh. That's Zoey. 128 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,649 It reminds me to stay strong and not take her calls. 129 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,696 Hello? Hey, Zoey. Yeah, what's going on? 130 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,440 Yeah, I could do that. 131 00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:39,224 - She wants to go for coffee. - Why? 132 00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:41,052 - I don't know. - Ask her. 133 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:46,101 Hey, uh, just so I have a heads-up, is this a.. 134 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,888 ...sad coffee or a happy coffee? 135 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,238 - It's a happy coffee. - That's great. 136 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,240 And can you bring me back a scone? 137 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,374 Shut up. 138 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:01,421 Uh, yeah, great, uh, I'll be there in 20. 139 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,119 - Okay. - What do you think's going on? 140 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,642 I don't know. 141 00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:08,340 Uh...she said she wants to talk in person. 142 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,125 Ooh, be careful, in my experience 143 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,996 when an ex wants to talk in person 144 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:14,695 it's either to borrow money or tell you she gave you crabs. 145 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:20,135 And no one's ever asked me for money. 146 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,964 You share too much. 147 00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,445 Besides, she said it was a happy coffee. 148 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,664 Ooh, ooh. Maybe she wants to have sex with the ex. 149 00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,361 That's happened to me. Be careful. 150 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:32,582 That's how I got the crabs. 151 00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,324 Well, I'm not gonna sleep with her. I'm with Rose now. 152 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,370 Oh, are you gonna tell Rose that you're meeting Zoey for coffee? 153 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,591 Yes, I am not. 154 00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:43,724 - Good call. - Hey, how do I look? 155 00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:46,553 Like every screen-saver in San Francisco. 156 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,859 Perfect. Okay. 157 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:51,340 Hey, what does it say on your phone when I call? 158 00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,951 Uh, it says, "The old guy who lives downstairs." 159 00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,435 Perfect. 160 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,134 ♪ Men ♪♪ 161 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,963 Here we go, happy coffee. 162 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,836 Thank you. 163 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,099 - So how you been? - Mm. Good. 164 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,143 - You? - Good. 165 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,188 Good. 166 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,279 - Are we done lying? - Mm. 167 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,803 Okay, so here it is. 168 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,805 Oh, God, this is very embarrassing. Heh. 169 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:22,893 Crabs? 170 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,814 - What? - Nothing. Go on. 171 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,210 So when you asked me to marry you.. 172 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,126 ...it scared me. 173 00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,780 Why? 174 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:44,219 Went down that road before, Walden. I got lost. 175 00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:48,266 Just wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment again. 176 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:52,140 Wait a second, what about the other guy? Peter. 177 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,187 I broke up with him. 178 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,320 So sorry. 179 00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,452 Oops. Apparently, I'm not done lying. 180 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,718 You care to know why I broke up with Peter? 181 00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,850 Because he wasn't a very good pumpkin eater? 182 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,423 No, I broke up with him because when I was with him 183 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,339 all I could think about was you. 184 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:20,255 Well, this is a very happy coffee. 185 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,042 I'd like another chance, Walden. 186 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,696 My coffee is dancing. 187 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,788 So do you wanna try and make this work? 188 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:35,096 I do. But it's a little complicated. 189 00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,402 Oh, God, you're seeing someone, aren't you? 190 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,056 - Well, I'm-- - Is it serious? 191 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:44,758 Nobody's brought their toothbrush over. 192 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,325 I'm sorry, I've put you in a very awkward position. 193 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:48,849 No, no, it's okay. 194 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:52,461 I just...I need a little time to figure it out. 195 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,115 Of course you do. I completely understand. 196 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,639 Take all the time you need. 197 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:57,988 You decided yet? 198 00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:01,905 I'm kidding. 199 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:05,430 Look, do what you need to do and let me know what happens, okay? 200 00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,478 - Um-- - Thanks for meeting me. 201 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,567 - Yeah, I'm glad you called. - Heh-heh. 202 00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,097 Oh, boy. 203 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,795 Crabs would've been simpler. 204 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,321 ♪ Men ♪♪ 205 00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,192 Hey, you're not gonna believe this. 206 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:32,066 Zoey realized she made a huge mistake and she wants me back. 207 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:34,634 - Is that crazy, or what? - No. 208 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,027 No? 209 00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,029 Follow me. I want to show you something. 210 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,518 - Rose? - Oh, hi, sweetie. 211 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,563 I brought my toothbrush. 212 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:54,784 That's crazy. 213 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,005 ♪ Men ♪♪ 214 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,488 ♪ Men ♪♪ 215 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:07,797 So...yeah, you decided to move in. 216 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,625 Yep. 217 00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:13,977 You make me so happy. And now we never have to be apart. 218 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,153 Never? 219 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,113 - Never, ever. - Hmm. 220 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,203 Now, if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go upstairs 221 00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,987 and make sure the birds are settled. 222 00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:29,689 - Great. - Never, ever, ever. 223 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,215 Did she say birds? 224 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,652 Well, I counted four, uh, but one of them 225 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,698 might be dinner for the ferrets. 226 00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:42,745 - Ferrets? - I think they were ferrets. 227 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,573 Might have been weasels. 228 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,271 Either way, she recommended we all get rabies shots. 229 00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:51,232 Oh, God, what have I done? 230 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,321 You asked her to move in. 231 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:56,063 You invited the vampire into the house. 232 00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:59,457 Look, in my defense, the vampire was naked at the time! 233 00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,503 - So, what're you gonna do now? - I don't know. 234 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,810 I guess, I just.. 235 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,247 Man up and tell Rose I made a mistake. 236 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,728 Ooh, that's a bad idea. 237 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,339 Especially before you get the rabies shot. 238 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:12,906 You got a better one? 239 00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,038 Uh, lets see, you could always tell her that 240 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:18,433 your work is taking you to Europe, or that you're dying 241 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,304 or that you finally realized you're gay 242 00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:22,959 and sick of fighting the feelings you have for me. 243 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:31,054 - I'm not gonna lie to her. - Would it be a lie? 244 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,018 ♪ Men ♪♪ 245 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:40,194 Look at us, we're like Siamese twins 246 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:43,240 except we don't have to share any organs.. 247 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,155 ...unless we want to. 248 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:47,636 [Walden laughs] 249 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:52,641 Listen...I need to talk to you about something. 250 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:53,773 Sure. 251 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:59,169 - Jeez, this is tough. - Just say it. 252 00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,519 I want us to be able to talk about anything. 253 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,437 Okay, here it goes. Um. 254 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:13,183 - I'm in love with Alan. - What? 255 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,533 - I'm dying. - You're dying? 256 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:18,319 For work in Europe. 257 00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:21,801 Walden, what is going on? 258 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,283 Okay. Um. 259 00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:35,292 My old girlfriend called and she wants to try again. 260 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:46,869 How do you feel about that? 261 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:51,831 I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about it. 262 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,658 Are you still in love with her? 263 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,968 Yes, I am. 264 00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,364 I'm sorry, Rose. 265 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,282 No. 266 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,416 No, don't be sorry. 267 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:18,161 Walden, we've only known each other for a couple of weeks. 268 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:21,643 And as wonderful as it's been, if you feel that 269 00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:24,211 you'd be happier with Zoey.. 270 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:26,082 ...I'm not gonna stand in your way. 271 00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:30,565 Thank you. 272 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:37,137 Wait, how did you know her name is Zoey? 273 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:41,097 Zoey's a very popular name in England. 274 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,143 Wait, how did you know she's English? 275 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,927 Because her name's Zoey, silly. 276 00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,889 Goodbye, Walden. 277 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,849 Goodbye, Rose. 278 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:59,289 You know I want you to be happy, don't you? 279 00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:02,510 I do. And I want you to be happy too. 280 00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:04,555 Thank you. 281 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:12,172 [Rose] 'Ferrets, attack!' 282 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:13,651 [ferret's squeaking] 283 00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:16,393 Whoa! 284 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,787 [ferret's squeaking] 285 00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:21,050 ♪ Men ♪♪ 286 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:24,445 - Hey, buddy, how you doing? - Great. I got a promotion. 287 00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,055 Oh, no kidding. 288 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,275 Yep. I'm the dessert chef in the officers' mess. 289 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,754 Wow. 290 00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,234 Yeah, I made this killer creme brulee 291 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,410 for the enlisted guys and word got out. 292 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,325 Jake, I am so proud of you. 293 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,110 Yeah, They gave me my own blowtorch. 294 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:40,156 You know, to caramelize the sugar. Check it out. 295 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,679 [fire alarm buzzing] 296 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:44,204 Uh-oh. Not again. 297 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,685 Gotta go, dad. 298 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:50,297 [alarm continues] 299 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,954 Well, he's America's problem now. 300 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,695 ♪ Men ♪♪ 301 00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:58,914 [doorbell rings] 302 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,613 Hi. 303 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,487 - Hello. - Sorry to bother you. 304 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:09,664 - I'm a friend of Walden's. - Oh, really? 305 00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:12,710 Yes, and we need to talk. 306 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,626 About what? 307 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,150 It's complicated. 308 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,807 ♪ Men ♪♪ 309 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,418 [doorbell rings] 310 00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:25,985 I'll get it. 311 00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,515 - Zoey. - Who the hell is.. 312 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:37,387 - What's happened to your face? - I was attacked by ferrets. 313 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,651 Fine, don't tell me. 314 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,741 Who the hell is that crazy woman who just showed up at my house 315 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,309 saying she's carrying your baby? 316 00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:49,008 - Uh.. - I have a guess. 317 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,097 Alan, please. 318 00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,881 Do you know anything about this? 319 00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:56,406 Alright, I'm just gonna level with you. You moved on. 320 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:59,627 So, I was trying to do the same thing. But she's not pregnant. 321 00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:01,237 Then why in the world would she show up 322 00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,152 at my apartment claiming to be? 323 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:04,980 - Apparently she's crazy. - Told you. 324 00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,852 Alan, shut up! 325 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:14,816 Alright, look, as soon as you told me 326 00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,557 that you wanted to get back together 327 00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:19,516 I told her she had to move out because I was in love with you. 328 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,997 And that's the truth. I love you, Zoey. 329 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,217 Wait. She was living here? 330 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:27,481 Did you hear the part where I said I love you? 331 00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:30,223 What happened to, "No one's brought their toothbrush?" 332 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,528 Uh.. 333 00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:34,401 - Alan? - You told me to shut up. 334 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:37,534 - Oh, God. Goodbye, Walden. - No, Zoey, wait! 335 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,406 You're my stinky cheese. 336 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,760 - Great. - Aww. 337 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:49,503 I'm sorry, buddy. 338 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:53,072 - But look at the bright side. - I know, I still have you. 339 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,336 Forever and ever and ever. 340 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:02,429 Hey, why don't we go out, you know, maybe-maybe grab a bite? 341 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,431 - That might cheer you up. - I don't wanna go out. 342 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:05,997 Look, oh, you have to eat. 343 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,217 You want me to pick something up for you? 344 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,089 - Fine. - Great, oh, so, listen, um, I-- 345 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,091 - Here you go. - Thanks. 346 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:13,918 Uh, would you mind if I take your car? Mine's out-- 347 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,877 Out of gas, sure. 348 00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,662 [Alan chuckles] 349 00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,838 Berta's right. I am the master. 350 00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:22,884 [keys clanking] 351 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:30,457 Oh, boy, a radio and brakes. Heh. 352 00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:39,944 Oh, yeah, I can get used to this. Heh. 353 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,859 [ferret's squeaking] 354 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,124 Not the face! Not the face! 355 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:46,212 ♪ Men ♪♪ 356 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,956 ♪ Men ♪♪ 357 00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:59,399 - I've made a decision. - What's that? 358 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:02,532 I'm never gonna care about another human being. 359 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,795 Ouch. 360 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,233 - Except you. - That's better. 361 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,366 I can't believe I lost Zoey again. 362 00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:13,804 I can't believe I lost the tip of my pinky to a ferret. 363 00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,676 Boo-hoo. I have half a nipple. 364 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:20,811 Alright, goodnight, Alan. 365 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,771 Goodnight, Walden. Aah. 366 00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,302 - Goodnight, Rose. - 'Goodnight, Alan.' 367 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:36,958 ♪ Men ♪♪ 368 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,659 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 369 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:46,141 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 370 00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,839 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 371 00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,972 ♪ Oo hoo hoo hoo oo ♪ 372 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:54,454 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 373 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:58,153 ♪ Men men men men manly men men men ♪ 374 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,111 ♪ Men ♪♪