1 00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:03,307 [male narrator] Previously on "Two And A Half Men".. 2 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:04,830 Zoey.. 3 00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:07,877 ...will you do me the honor of becoming 4 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,053 Zoey Hyde.. 5 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,882 Tottingham-Pierce-Schmidt? 6 00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:14,014 No. 7 00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,798 I'm sorry. I can't do it. 8 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:20,324 I need an answer. 9 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,674 There's someone else. 10 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:26,852 ♪ Men ♪♪ 11 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,378 I like that red dress on you. 12 00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:31,640 I feel like a bull. 13 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,425 I want to charge. 14 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:35,774 Speaking of charging 15 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:38,125 did you bring your wallet this time? 16 00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:41,389 The last two times were honest mistakes. 17 00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:44,261 And I fully intend to pay you back. 18 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:49,310 Oh, that's just great, Justin. 19 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,094 If your mom says it's bath time 20 00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:54,141 by all means take a bath. 21 00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,143 Meanwhile the free world is falling into 22 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:59,929 the hands of cyber-terrorists. 23 00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:00,973 You okay? 24 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,801 Yeah. 25 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:04,803 My sniper's got to get ready for Sixth Grade 26 00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,067 Picture Day tomorrow. 27 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,505 - Oh, you guys look nice. - Oh, thanks. 28 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,550 We're going out to dinner. Wanna join us? 29 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:15,118 No, I got a...burrito in the microwave. 30 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:17,338 Okay, enjoy. 31 00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:18,643 Oh, you did take the foil off of the-- 32 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,080 [crackling] 33 00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:24,519 I'll get my coat. 34 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:31,047 Isn't that your wallet? 35 00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:34,659 Oh, uh, yes, that's, uh, uh, I-I-I put it there 36 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,880 so I wouldn't forget it. 37 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:41,144 ♪ Men men men men men manly men men ♪ 38 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,495 ♪ Men men men men Oo oo ooho ooho ♪ 39 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:47,585 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 40 00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:49,631 ♪ Ohho hoo hoo hoo ♪ 41 00:01:49,718 --> 00:01:52,286 ♪ Men men men men men manly men men ♪ 42 00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:56,942 ♪ Hoo hoo oo oo men men men men ♪ 43 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,553 ♪ Men ♪♪ 44 00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,302 ♪ Men ♪♪ 45 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,217 I'm really glad we did this. 46 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,392 I've been playing with kids I met 47 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:12,915 on the internet for too long. 48 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:19,139 Now that I say that out loud, I'm really glad we did this. 49 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,053 Mm-m, I'll get this. 50 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,494 I'll get it. 51 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:32,456 Oh, okay, I guess I'm really gonna get this. 52 00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:35,024 - Thanks, Al. - Oh, it's my pleasure. 53 00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:36,982 Are you crying? 54 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,420 What? No, no. I have, uh, I have allergies. 55 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:42,727 It's probably the dust from opening his wallet. 56 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,255 - Damn it. - What? 57 00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:51,780 It's...Zoey and her new boyfriend. 58 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,129 I am so sorry. 59 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,652 This is tough. 60 00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:57,525 After what she did to you.. 61 00:02:57,612 --> 00:03:00,658 Come on, let's just get this over with. 62 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:03,400 He didn't deserve it. He gave her everything. 63 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:07,143 He actually has things to give. 64 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:10,799 Hi...Zoey. 65 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,931 Walden, hi. 66 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,020 - Lyndsey. - Hi. 67 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:18,763 - Alan. - Pfft! 68 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,549 Um, this is my friend, Peter. 69 00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:23,942 Peter. 70 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,509 - Nice to meet you. - Cheers, mate. 71 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:28,469 "Cheers, mate. We hosted the Olympics." 72 00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,689 This is a bit awkward. 73 00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,430 Why is this awkward? 74 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,258 [scoffing] Oh, yes, that's right, I-I remember. 75 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,042 Because you ruined my best friend's life. 76 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,609 I'm-I'm sorry. Nice to meet you. 77 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,829 What you did to was wanton and reprehensible. 78 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:44,615 - Alright, keep moving. - Jezebel. 79 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,095 If it makes you feel any better 80 00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:49,577 he didn't like you before. 81 00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,970 ♪ Men ♪♪ 82 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,320 How you doing? 83 00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,060 - You okay? - Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 84 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:58,412 - I mean, my heart's racing-- - I was talking to Walden. 85 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,502 Yeah, I guess. 86 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,460 I mean, I thought seeing her with somebody else 87 00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,941 would be the end of the world, but 88 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,030 I'm...really okay with it. 89 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,684 [scoffing] You're a better man than I am. 90 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:13,165 We all know that, Alan. 91 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,776 Yeah, I guess what I'm saying is it wasn't 92 00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,430 as bad as I thought it would be. 93 00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:19,215 I mean, clearly Alan has some unresolved issues 94 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,217 but...I think I'm ready to move on. 95 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,001 I can definitely help you there. 96 00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,047 Oh, uh, where you going with this, sweetie? 97 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:27,702 I have a ton of friends who would die to go out with you. 98 00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,486 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 99 00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:32,968 That's true. She has some of the hottest friends you can imagine. 100 00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,189 Uh, that-that youcan imagine, not that I would. 101 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,017 [chuckling] I mean, why would I? 102 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:42,194 [chuckling] You're the hottest of them all, you know? 103 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:48,331 So what's your type? 104 00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,725 I don't know if I have a type. I mean, I like brunettes. 105 00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,510 But well, I married a redhead and I've dated some blondes. 106 00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:57,297 So I guess...what I'm saying is I'm pro-hair. 107 00:04:57,384 --> 00:05:00,212 Well, in the upper deck not necessarily around the dugout. 108 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,866 Ah, interesting. 109 00:05:01,953 --> 00:05:03,694 Uh, If you're gonna go with a-a baseball reference 110 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:07,219 I would've gone with "on the mound". 111 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,440 They all have hair in the appropriate places. 112 00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:11,963 What else? 113 00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,879 I don't know. Uh, I like a girl who's smart. 114 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,751 I like a girl who's funny. 115 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,405 I like a girl who's.. 116 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:21,233 ...not gonna leave me for another guy. 117 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,061 Oh, oh, and no one who wears those big 118 00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,976 furry boots with shorts or mini-skirts. 119 00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:28,110 You're either hot or you're cold. Take a stand, ladies. 120 00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:30,025 I'll take care of it. 121 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,548 So, Walden, as I told you, 122 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,289 Jennifer is my Pilates instructor. 123 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,160 Yeah, Pilates. 124 00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:41,253 Well, you're certainly whipping Lyndsey into shape. 125 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,516 Not that you need it. 126 00:05:43,691 --> 00:05:47,129 Not that I was looking. 127 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:48,739 Not that you're listening. 128 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,482 Oh, can I take a picture of you? 129 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:54,354 Okay. 130 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,051 Uploading photo to wall. 131 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:59,054 "Check out my hot date." Smiley face. 132 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,534 LOL, right? 133 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,019 So, Pilates.. 134 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:11,632 That's all about strengthening the core, right? 135 00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,592 Hm-m? 136 00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:19,161 O-M-G. Cat in a bow tie riding a skateboard. 137 00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:21,816 [chuckling] Re-tweeting. 138 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,601 Guy in a bow tie right here. 139 00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:28,388 Oh, good news, one person already likes our date. 140 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,085 Unfriend. 141 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,915 So what looks good to you? 142 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,177 Actually, I'm not gonna eat. 143 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:38,746 Nothing? 144 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,530 No, I'm doing a master cleanse. 145 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:43,925 So I haven't eaten solid food in two weeks. 146 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:46,449 Dawn, you might have mentioned that when I told you 147 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,581 we were all going out to dinner. 148 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,713 No, it's no problem. You guys eat. 149 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,976 [chuckling] This stuff just flushes you right out. 150 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,372 Well, I guess it's worth it if it rids the body 151 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,156 of all those toxins and impurities. 152 00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:01,333 Right, and the stuff that comes out of you. 153 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,597 I swear I found a Barbie head that I 154 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,773 swallowed in the fifth grade. 155 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,166 Good thing you didn't swallow her Malibu beach house. 156 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:11,474 Ouch. 157 00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,737 Well, whatever you're doing, it's working. You look great. 158 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,522 Thank you. 159 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,088 I also inject myself with the 160 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,481 urine of pregnant women. 161 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,573 Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna eat either. 162 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,489 It's got a hormone in it that helps you lose weight. 163 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,404 [clicking tongue] Oh, which is ironic because 164 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,798 pregnant women pack on the pounds. 165 00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,669 I will never be fat. 166 00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,586 Or married. 167 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:42,200 I can't believe you created and sold your own company. 168 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:45,029 You must be incredibly smart. 169 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:48,076 Yeah, I don't know, I think it's more luck and timing. 170 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,687 I think it takes a little bit more than luck and timing 171 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,821 to make $1.4 billion. 172 00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,997 Somebody did their research. 173 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:58,303 I'll bet women are after you all the time. 174 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:01,568 I mean, you could look like him and they'd still be after you. 175 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,702 I mean, I don't know.. 176 00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:07,051 You know what these women are thinking, don't you? 177 00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:09,837 "I mean, is this guy gonna ask for a pre-nup?" 178 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,839 'Cause theoretically, your alimony payments would run 75 179 00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,667 100 grand a month at least. 180 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,364 And that's without child support. 181 00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,540 You're good at math. 182 00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:20,064 You know, I never thought I wanted kids...but 183 00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,762 with the right person 184 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:26,157 I could see myself having an entire litter. 185 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:29,204 And I could see myself having a vasectomy. 186 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,816 [crying] 187 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:42,217 When she's on her meds, she's actually lots of fun. 188 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,740 I am. 189 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:49,441 ♪ Men ♪♪ 190 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,269 - Hey. - Hey. 191 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:52,357 Just got off the phone with Lyndsey. 192 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,533 She's got another friend. 193 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:54,795 She says this one's perfect. 194 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:57,275 No, no more women, Alan. 195 00:08:57,362 --> 00:09:01,541 Wait, they were all women, right? 196 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:04,892 In the eyes of the law, yes. 197 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,763 The Olympics, eh. 198 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:09,505 Look, I-I know some of the dates didn't work out. 199 00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:10,941 Didn't work out? 200 00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:13,683 One of them used her roast chicken to show me 201 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:16,686 where she was probed by aliens. 202 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,949 Uh, but you have to admit the chicken was 203 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,560 out of this world. 204 00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,957 You do know Lyndsey and I are just trying to help. 205 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,306 Yeah, I do. 206 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,047 And I appreciate it. But I think I was wrong. 207 00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:32,223 I just don't think I'm ready to date right now. 208 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,791 - So you're giving up? - No, I'm not giving up. 209 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,620 I just...I want to change my pattern, you know? 210 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,405 My whole life I've jumped from one woman to the next. 211 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,364 I thought that was just because every time you jumped 212 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,192 another woman slid in under you. 213 00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:46,281 Well, there's that. 214 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:49,327 But let's face it, Alan, I went straight from my mother's house 215 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,590 to being married to Bridget 216 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,461 from Bridget to dating Zoey, and 217 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:55,769 now I'm trying to go from Zoey to a bunch of starving, crying 218 00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,249 gold-digging, crazy-ass bitches. 219 00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:02,819 Hey, if it weren't for those women 220 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,908 I'd still be a virgin. 221 00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,128 And there'd be no reality TV stars. 222 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:14,831 Look, I'm just gonna be alone for a while. 223 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,138 And if the real thing comes along, I'll know it. 224 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:20,576 Hm, that's true. You know, I can still remember the exactinstant 225 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:23,013 that I knew Lyndsey was the one. 226 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,362 How'd you know? 227 00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:27,757 Uh, she said, "I give up. You're the one." 228 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,019 ♪ Men ♪♪ 229 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,066 - Hey, Walden. - Hey. 230 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:34,721 - You here by yourself? - Yes. 231 00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:37,027 I'm alone and I plan to stay that way. 232 00:10:37,114 --> 00:10:39,813 Oh, well, if you change your mind 233 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,424 there's a bachelorette party in the corner with a couple 234 00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:45,819 of drunk and bitter bridesmaids. 235 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,168 Fish in a barrel. 236 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:50,214 That's good to know, but not tonight. 237 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,434 Alright, what can I get you? 238 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:55,350 - I'll have a beer. - Coming up. 239 00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,091 [Rose] 'Excuse me.' 240 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,181 Can I have your nuts? 241 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,272 - What? - Your nuts. 242 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,708 ♪ Men ♪♪ 243 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,062 ♪ Men ♪♪ 244 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:14,108 Thank you. 245 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:15,805 I'm Rose. 246 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,721 - Hi, Rose. I'm-- - Walden, I know. 247 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,767 I heard the bartender say, "Hey, Walden." 248 00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:23,857 I mean, how else would I know your name? 249 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,208 It's nice to meet you, Rose. 250 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:28,513 You too, Walden. 251 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,563 I prefer real books. 252 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:35,607 Some people do. 253 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,435 You know why I do? 254 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:38,828 Because if you use this 255 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:41,875 to fix a wobbly table it costs you $800? 256 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:47,010 No, you can't hide a gun in an iPad. 257 00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:49,447 No, I guess you can't. 258 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,711 Sorry. I'll leave you alone. 259 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:52,929 Thanks. 260 00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:57,673 [gasping] 261 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,155 Oh, my God, are you okay? 262 00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:04,636 - Nut. I can't breathe. - Okay, don't panic. 263 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,725 Oh. 264 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,772 [sighing] Oh. 265 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:12,209 Thank you, you saved my life. 266 00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:13,907 Can we get a glass of water over here? 267 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:16,083 And I'll have a martini. 268 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,347 ♪ Men ♪♪ 269 00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:20,957 Alright, I'm getting ready to leave. 270 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,785 Do you need anything before I go? 271 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,961 Mm-m, actually, if you don't mind, I could-- 272 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,658 Just making small talk, Zippy. 273 00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,880 - Hey. - Hey, how was your night? 274 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,927 Great. In fact,I met a girl. 275 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,493 [scoffing] Of course you did. 276 00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,758 I hate you, but I hate me more. 277 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,411 This girl's really interesting. 278 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,849 Actually, I-I think you know her. Her name is Rose. 279 00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:43,980 See ya. 280 00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:49,029 What? Rose? Crazy Rose? 281 00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:50,465 She's not crazy. 282 00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,336 And you know what? Name-calling is cruel. 283 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,295 How would you like it if somebody called you old Alan 284 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,471 or cheap Alan, or loser Alan? 285 00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:59,735 [Berta] 'Somebody does.' 286 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,216 Did Rose tell you she was stalking my brother? 287 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,044 Actually, she told me everything. 288 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,307 You know, she was in love with him, and I get it 289 00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,395 when you're in love with someone 290 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,179 love makes you do crazy things. 291 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:12,052 No, crazy makes you do crazy things. 292 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,880 We all have skeletons in our closets. 293 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,971 Uh, yes, but in her case, they may be actual skeletons. 294 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,886 You know what? She told me you were gonna do this. 295 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,191 [scoffing] Of course she did. 296 00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:22,845 She's devious and deceptive. 297 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:25,065 She's probably listening to us right now. 298 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:28,459 Hey, Rose! How you doing? 299 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,548 Alan, calm down. 300 00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:33,638 I had a conversation with the woman. I'm not marrying her. 301 00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,379 I don't even know if I'll ever see her again. 302 00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,685 [scoffing] Oh, you will. 303 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,339 Trust me. 304 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,558 Her face will be the last thing you see before you 305 00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:44,606 black out from the chloroform. 306 00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,347 ♪ Men ♪♪ 307 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:50,960 Rose? 308 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,005 Oh, Walden. 309 00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,398 - Hi. - Hi. 310 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:57,010 Wait a minute. You're not stalking me, are you? 311 00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,751 [chuckling] Good one. No, I stop here every day on my way to work. 312 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,144 It's kind of a ritual. 313 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,537 Really? 314 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:06,106 There is no way I would ever have known that. 315 00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:08,108 - Do you mind if I join you? - Please. 316 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:09,631 How can I say no to the man who saved me 317 00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,502 from choking on his nuts? 318 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,815 I told Alan that we met. 319 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,861 - Boy, did you call that one. - Oh, let me guess. 320 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,427 At some point did he say 321 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:25,603 "She's probably listening to us right now." 322 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:29,129 "Hey, Rose! How you doing?" 323 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,608 It's like you were there. 324 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,133 But I wasn't. 325 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,744 Well, he-he is very suspicious of you. 326 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,094 He thinks you have some kind of plan. 327 00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,748 Are you suspicious of me? 328 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,011 I'm more curious than suspicious. 329 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:45,623 Good, because that's my plan. 330 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:47,799 Does your plan include 331 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:50,672 having dinner with me? 332 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,804 Oh, gee. 333 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,242 - I don't know about that. - Why not? 334 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,808 You live in Charlie's old house 335 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,333 there's Alan.. Lots of baggage.. 336 00:14:59,420 --> 00:15:02,423 None of that stuff has anything to do with us. 337 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,554 That's true. 338 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:07,210 So, what do you say? Dinner? 339 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,690 Okay. 340 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,300 To dinner. 341 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,736 It'll be nice to go out with 342 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,695 someone normal for a change. 343 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,090 ♪ Men ♪♪ 344 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,570 [doorbell ringing] 345 00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,485 [door opening] 346 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,096 Hello, Alan. 347 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,360 Rose. 348 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,883 You've got a lot of nerve coming to this house. 349 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:31,539 As much nerve as you have still living in it? 350 00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:32,888 Touche. 351 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,281 Wow. 352 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,500 This place looks fantastic. 353 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,851 [scoffing] Don't act like you haven't seen it before. 354 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,852 I know what you're up to. 355 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,246 Oh, really? What am I up to? 356 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,857 Alright, I don't know specifically what you're up to. 357 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,947 But Walden is my best friend, and I will not let you hurt him. 358 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,557 And he's very lucky to have 359 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,472 a friend like you given what he's been through. 360 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:54,040 Of which you know because you've been spying on us. 361 00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:57,217 J'accuse! 362 00:15:57,304 --> 00:16:00,785 No. I know because he told me. 363 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,352 He's very fond of you, Alan. 364 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:05,747 You finally made a friend. Don't screw it up. 365 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:06,922 Oh, you're good. 366 00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:11,753 I'm totally confused right now. 367 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,276 Ah, there she is. 368 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,582 Hi, Walden. 369 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,366 Are you two playing nice? 370 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,107 Well, I am. I don't know what she's up to. 371 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,500 But I know it ends with the audience yelling 372 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,284 "Don't go in the cellar!" 373 00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:24,853 You're funny. He thinks I've hatched some nefarious plot. 374 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,072 Are you after my money? 375 00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:28,552 No, you're thinking of Alan. 376 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,080 Are youplanning on cloning me and 377 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:36,082 run my doppelganger for President, so you can 378 00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,387 be the puppet master of the nation? 379 00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,825 Guilty. Better get a sample right now. 380 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,740 [both chuckling] 381 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:46,614 I get it hair, DNA, the whole.. 382 00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,704 Just stop worrying. Don't you have somewhere you need to be? 383 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:50,922 Well, as a matter of fact 384 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,446 Lyndsey and I are going to the movies. 385 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,100 - Have a good time. - Oh, you'd like that. 386 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:57,016 Wouldn't you? 387 00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,236 Watch yourself, buddy. 388 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,281 [door closing] 389 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,586 - He means well. - I know. 390 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:03,935 Can I pour you a glass of wine? 391 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,068 - Yeah, that'd be great. - Alright. 392 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,635 [door opening] A-ha! 393 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,815 Actually, I just forgot my keys. 394 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,425 And your wallet. 395 00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:21,866 ♪ Men ♪♪ 396 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,433 [door opening] 397 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,567 Oh, I shouldn't have eaten that whole tub of popcorn. 398 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:30,005 I'm gonna be gassy all night. 399 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,963 You know it's gonna take more than a bloated belly 400 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,530 to put a muzzle on Mr. Pokey. 401 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:36,490 [chuckling] 402 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,970 - What was that? - I don't know 403 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,582 But I've got a bad feeling about this. 404 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:44,585 Ugh I've got a bad feeling about this. 405 00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:46,978 [farting] 406 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,548 - Walden? - 'What happened?' 407 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,636 What? 408 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,073 [muffled chatter] 409 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,335 I'm coming in. 410 00:17:58,642 --> 00:17:59,600 [muffled chatter] 411 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,604 Don't worry, buddy. I told you she was nuts. 412 00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:05,693 Get out of here. 413 00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:06,998 - What? - Get out of here. 414 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,262 I'm having the best sex of my life. 415 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,527 Oh, hi, Alan. 416 00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:14,919 How was the movie? 417 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:17,226 It was...wait, is that a leaf blower? 418 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:21,012 That's not what they call it in Amsterdam. 419 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,101 [revving] 420 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,495 ♪ Men ♪♪ 421 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:30,587 ♪ Men ♪♪ 422 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,725 [computer beeping] 423 00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,122 Oh! 424 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,561 'Hi, Jake.' 425 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,476 Rose? What are you doing there? 426 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:52,043 I'm dating Walden. 427 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,177 I should've seen that coming. 428 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,700 How's the army treating you? 429 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:58,137 How'd you know I was in the army? 430 00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,573 'Cause I've been spying on you guys. 431 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,357 What? 432 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:04,099 I'm just kidding. You're wearing a uniform, silly. 433 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,536 Oh, yeah, right. 434 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,191 Don't worry about the obstacle course. You'll get it. 435 00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:12,847 Yeah, the rope climb is...hey, wait a second, how did you-- 436 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,328 Got to go, Jake. I'll tell your dad you called. 437 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,028 How did I know he was in the army? 438 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:22,117 [chuckling] So cute. 439 00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,293 ♪ Men ♪♪ 440 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:34,999 ♪ Men men men men Oo oo ooho ooho ♪ 441 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,915 ♪ Men men men men manly men ♪ 442 00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,874 ♪ Ohho hoo hoo hoo ♪ 443 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,442 ♪ Men men men men men manly men men ♪ 444 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:46,837 ♪ Hoo hoo oo oo men men men men ♪ 445 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:48,230 ♪ Men ♪♪