1 00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:06,274 What? 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,342 Yeah, you and Ava move in with me. 3 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,911 I love you, and I want you in my life. 4 00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,646 I want to have a future with you. 5 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:15,216 If Ava and I move in, 6 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,952 isn't somebody going to have to move out? 7 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,855 Hmm. 8 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,762 Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the ticket. 9 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:32,233 (farts) 10 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,935 Yes. Out with the bad. 11 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:37,971 Morning. 12 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,107 Morning. (grunts) 13 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,441 Hey, I'm glad you're up. 14 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,575 I wanted... 15 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,711 Oh, whoa. 16 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,114 Sorry. 17 00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,086 Is that really a good workout? 18 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,622 Oh, yeah, yeah. It's great for the circulation, 19 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,990 stretches the spine. (big exhale) 20 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,193 Your ball is hanging out. 21 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,828 Oopsie-daisy. 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,697 Back in the barn. 23 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,200 Wha... All right, listen, uh, 24 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:09,237 it's spring break this week, so Zoey and her daughter 25 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,372 are going to stay here. Oh, that's nice. (grunts) 26 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,375 Yeah, it's kind of like a... trial run. 27 00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:16,410 You know, see what it's like to live together 28 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,979 before we decide to do anything permanent. 29 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:20,548 Oh, that's a good idea. 30 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,183 Living together is tricky. 31 00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,317 (grunting) 32 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,320 Ball. 33 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:27,888 Sorry. 34 00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,157 Of course it's going to be a little tight 35 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,192 with all of us living here. 36 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,693 Yeah. 37 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,562 That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 38 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,631 Oh, don't worry. I'll tell Jake to go to his mom's. 39 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,267 Good, good. 40 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,435 And I'll make myself scarce. You won't even know I'm here. 41 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,271 (farts) 42 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:47,875 Oop. Stepped on a duck. 43 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,977 All right, actually, I'm going to need you to, uh, 44 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,046 move out for the week. (grunts) 45 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,782 What, wait, the whole week? 46 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,450 Yeah, you and Zoey don't really gel, 47 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,319 so, I just thought it'd be for the best. 48 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:01,054 Oh, oh, that's fine. Uh, but, uh, you know, 49 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,158 just for the record, I gel with pretty much everybody. 50 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:07,995 I mean, ask around, I'm positively gelatinous. 51 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,864 I know, it's her. 52 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,634 So, the plan is, I come back after a week? 53 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,804 Uh, you might want to think of this as a trial run of your own. 54 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,872 I mean, in case Zoey and I do decide to 55 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,408 live together permanently. 56 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,410 Sure, sure, I get it. 57 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,978 Uh, and, uh, let me just add that 58 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,680 no one is rooting for your personal happiness 59 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,081 more than I am. 60 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,950 That's good to hear. 61 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,986 Thanks, man. Oh, no, no, no. 62 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:36,357 (chuckles) Thank you, buddy. 63 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,896 No reason to panic. (chuckles) 64 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,599 Just got to find a temporary new home... 65 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:59,247 ...and three new balls. 66 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,549 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 67 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:05,185 * Ah. * Men. * Men. 68 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,128 What are you doing? I'm taking a break. 69 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,698 Didn't you just get here? 70 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,467 Yeah. 71 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,103 Anyway, 72 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:26,139 I just wanted to give you a heads up 73 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,841 that Zoey's going to stay here for the week. 74 00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,311 Uh-huh. And she's bringing her daughter. 75 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,179 How old? Seven. 76 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,781 See ya in a week. 77 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,083 Oh, come on, Berta. 78 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,286 You'll love her. She's adorable. 79 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,887 Maybe to her mother, 80 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:42,556 and someone who's trying to get into her mother's pants. 81 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,626 All right, look, it's not going to be any extra work for you. 82 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,728 What ever Zoey doesn't take care of, I'll handle. 83 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:49,162 Really? 84 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,131 You're going to take care of a seven-year-old? 85 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:52,733 Yeah. We get a long great. 86 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,735 And besides, I got to learn sometime. 87 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:59,006 I mean, if Zoey and I get married, I'll be Ava's stepdad. 88 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:02,976 You know, once upon a time, 89 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:07,047 a cute little boy came to live in this house for a few days. 90 00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,482 Maybe you've met him. 91 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:11,752 He's the pot-soaked masturbating couch potato 92 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,488 who eats all your cookies. 93 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,924 Is he the one who finished off my macaroons? 94 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,293 Your macaroons and my pot. 95 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:24,732 My point being, fool me once, shame on you. 96 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:29,903 Fool me twice, I want a fully funded 401(k) and a Camaro. 97 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,273 Come on, Berta, it's just going to be for a week, 98 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,608 and it's just the three of us. 99 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:38,579 Really? Did Zippy finally hang himself? 100 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,348 No. 101 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,949 He's going to stay somewhere else. 102 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,117 Zoey and I want to see what it's like to live like a family, 103 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,553 with a housekeeper. 104 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,656 Who's got a retirement plan and a muscle car. 105 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,392 All right, look, Berta, if you don't want to help me with this, 106 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:52,993 I will find another housekeeper 107 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,896 who's willing to do very little work for a very large salary 108 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,531 in a Malibu beach house. 109 00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:02,235 You're cute, but you got a mean streak. 110 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,976 All right, here we are. 111 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,110 What do you think? 112 00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:11,945 Oh, boy, the ocean! 113 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,681 (chuckles) Stay on the deck! 114 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:17,284 Oh, she's so excited, she didn't sleep at all last night. 115 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,852 Yeah, I'm kind of excited, too. 116 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,822 Really? I'm terrified. Why? 117 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,492 Well, because if this little experiment doesn't work, 118 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,360 it pretty much means we're done, doesn't it? 119 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:30,297 Wow, now I'm terrified, too. 120 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,533 Oh, hey, there she is, 121 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,702 the new queen of the castle, 122 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:37,237 uh, milady. 123 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,606 Hello, Alan. 124 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,307 Thank you so much for letting my boyfriend 125 00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:41,909 use his own house for the week. 126 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,243 Snidely put. 127 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,045 Thank you. So, where are you staying? 128 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:48,382 Uh, well, I was thinking that I was going to rent a suite 129 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,418 at the Bel Air Hotel, uh, but then I realized 130 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,852 that cost money and I have none. 131 00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:55,155 So, um, I'm just going to stay with Lyndsey. 132 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:58,025 How wonderful for her. 133 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,093 (swoosh, grunts) 134 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,829 So, um, 135 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,297 all right, I will, uh, I will see you in a week. 136 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,933 See ya. In a week. 137 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,335 Yeah. Say it. 138 00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,303 I'll see ya in a week. 139 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,606 Okay, you two have fun. 140 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:13,607 All right. 141 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,776 Oh, oh, wait. What room are you planning 142 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,011 to put the little girl in? Yours. 143 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,414 Oh, oh, well, then I better 144 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,882 get a few things out of there. 145 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,283 (chuckles) 146 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,752 Mostly magazines. 147 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,588 Maybe we should put her in Jake's room. 148 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,823 No, that's actually worse. 149 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,561 * Men. * 150 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,062 You ready for another beer? 151 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,897 Oh, aren't you a doll. 152 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,332 (chuckles) You know... 153 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,234 Eldridge is with his father this week. 154 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,336 Whoo, and Jake's with his mother. Mmm. 155 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,206 So, I guess we can do anything we want. 156 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,643 Yeah, and what do you want, you dirty girl? 157 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,980 Well, you know what would make me really happy? 158 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,782 Whatever it is, I'll do it. 159 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:58,619 The guest toilet is broken. I want you to fix it. 160 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,957 Uh, are we role-playing? 161 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,960 Am I the naughty plumber 162 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:10,731 here to snake your drain? 163 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,233 No. 164 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:17,538 You're the loving boyfriend here to fix my toilet. 165 00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,306 Seriously? 166 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,274 Seriously. 167 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:23,577 Now? Now. 168 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,013 All right. 169 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,382 Hey, uh, when you're done with that, 170 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,284 would you take the patio furniture out of the garage 171 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,853 and put it in the backyard? 172 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,087 Sure. 173 00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,223 Make sure you wash it first. 174 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,858 You got it. 175 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:41,094 Yep, I got it, all right. 176 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,136 I forgot a few things. I'm going to run to the store. 177 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,539 Oh, you know, relax. I'll go for you. 178 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,140 Actually, there's things I need to buy 179 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,442 that I'd rather you not know I need. 180 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,977 Say no more. 181 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,713 Put your coat on, Ava. I don't want to go-- I'm playing. 182 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,749 Ava, come on. No, she's fine. 183 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,984 I'll watch her. You sure? 184 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,153 Yeah, of course. It's no big deal. 185 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,755 Do you want to stay here with Walden? 186 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,056 Yes, please. 187 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,491 Okay. See you in about an hour 188 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,561 Bye. Bye. 189 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,296 (sighs) 190 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:20,233 The sweet, sweet smell of freedom. 191 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,374 Oh. 192 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,143 Hi. I'm bored. 193 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,412 I thought you were playing with your dolls. 194 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,514 I finished. 195 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,650 What do you want to do? 196 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,719 Well... 197 00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:41,689 (Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" plays) 198 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,870 * I come home in the morning light * 199 00:08:56,937 --> 00:09:02,475 * My mother says, "When you gonna live your life right?" * 200 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,113 * Oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones * 201 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:09,382 * And girls, they want to have fun * 202 00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:14,354 * Oh, girls just want to have fun * 203 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:20,761 * 204 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:23,697 * The phone rings in the middle of the night * 205 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:27,935 * My father yells, "What you gonna do with your life?" * 206 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:32,005 * Oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one * 207 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,542 * But girls, they want to have fun * 208 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:38,345 * Oh, girls just want to have 209 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:42,282 * That's all they really want 210 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,518 * Some fun 211 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:49,389 * When the working day is done 212 00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:53,126 * Oh, girls, they want to have fun * 213 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,896 * Oh, girls just want to have... * 214 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,998 (sighs) There's my good girl. 215 00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,266 Hi, Mommy. 216 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,134 (chuckles) Where's Walden? 217 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,203 Right there. 218 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,808 He said it's his nap time. 219 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:12,746 * Men. * 220 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:16,116 I think I found your problem! 221 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,118 You have got a blown out fuse! 222 00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,319 Can you fix it? 223 00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,955 I don't see any spare fuses but, uh, 224 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:25,325 I do know a little trick. What's that? 225 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:26,626 Well, most people don't know this, 226 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,495 but you can use an ordinary copper penny 227 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:31,965 to replace a fuse. No kidding? 228 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,600 Yeah, electricians won't tell you 229 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:34,968 'cause they want to charge you... 230 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,670 (electrical popping) 231 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,912 (TV playing) It worked! The TV's back on! 232 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,247 * Men. * 233 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,286 "They were married soon after, 234 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,423 "and lived happily together for many, many years. 235 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,558 The end." 236 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:01,829 Big surprise, huh? 237 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,868 (sotto voce): Thank God. 238 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,344 It's too dark. 239 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,613 Oh, sorry. Here you go. 240 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,217 That's too bright. 241 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:28,555 Okay. Uh... how about... 242 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:33,026 I turn the bathroom light on and leave the door open a crack? 243 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,495 How's that? 244 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,764 Better. 245 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,765 All right. 246 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:38,799 Good night. 247 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,567 Did you look under the bed? 248 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:44,671 No. Why, did you find some funny magazines? 249 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,775 You have to check for monsters. 250 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,509 Oh. 251 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,782 (grunts) Nope, no monsters. 252 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,784 Okay. Good night. 253 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,385 What about the closet? 254 00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,820 What about it? 255 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,055 Monsters. 256 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,793 I don't want to have nightmares. 257 00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,795 Right. 258 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,262 It's all clear. 259 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,798 (gasps) 260 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,501 Aah... great. 261 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,770 Now I'm gonna have nightmares. 262 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,806 Okay, okay, good night. 263 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,407 I'm thirsty. 264 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,110 You're joking. 265 00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,612 Why would I joke about thirsty? 266 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,214 Thirsty's not funny. 267 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,450 I'll get you a glass of water. 268 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,186 No, I want fizzy water. 269 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,056 You want Perrier? 270 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:39,159 Pellegrino would be fine. 271 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,928 Okay. 272 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,363 I'll go see what we have. 273 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,733 How did the story end? 274 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,102 Uh... they got married, 275 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:52,372 and they lived happily together for many, many years. 276 00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,877 Till they had kids. 277 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,380 * Men. * 278 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,748 How are you feeling? 279 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:02,983 All right. 280 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,886 My hand's still a little numb. 281 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,989 Well, let's see if I can make it all better. 282 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,457 Mmm... Ooh! Ooh! 283 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,959 Make it all better. 284 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,760 Daddy like. Mmm... 285 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,628 (clattering downstairs) 286 00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:20,100 Did you hear something? Mm, nothing but the rustling in my jammies. 287 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,734 No! 288 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,403 There's someone downstairs. 289 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,438 No, there isn't. Come on, make it all better. 290 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,940 (moaning) Alan! 291 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,376 There's someone in the house. Go look. 292 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:33,446 Really? With a dead hand and the beginnings of an erection? 293 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:34,747 Go. 294 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,149 (exasperated sign) 295 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,155 And thus ends the erection. 296 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,266 (rattling) 297 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,039 (clanging) 298 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,181 (thudding) 299 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:11,384 Who keeps their weed in the crisper? 300 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,987 What, you want to get crispy, don't you? 301 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,991 (door hinge creaking) 302 00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,494 Ow! 303 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,402 Good morning. 304 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,974 It's still dark out. 305 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,775 It's breakfast time. 306 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:38,411 Maybe in London. 307 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,913 What's going on? 308 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,515 She wants breakfast. 309 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,417 Okay. 310 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,553 Just give me a minute. 311 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,855 No, you sleep; I'll get it. 312 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:49,990 Thanks. 313 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,459 That's it? No argument? 314 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,628 Shh... 315 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,468 All right. 316 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,835 What do you want? 317 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,672 Corn Flakes or Cheerios or... 318 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,607 Eggs Benedict. 319 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,676 Of course. 320 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,413 * Men. * 321 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,415 Watch your step. 322 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,684 Yeah, wouldn't want to get hurt. 323 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,091 Those pain pills starting to kick in yet? 324 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:24,891 Oh, yeah. 325 00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,627 You could spread me on a toast. 326 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,662 Okay. 327 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,864 Let's get you into bed. 328 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,833 No, no. 329 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,502 Let's get you into bed. 330 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,503 Seriously? 331 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,670 You want to fool around? 332 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,139 Parts of me do. 333 00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:45,145 Mr. Nose says, "No," but Mr. Hose says (falsetto): "Yes." 334 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:46,813 Tell you what, 335 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:50,517 why don't you just lie down and let me take care of you. 336 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,219 Really? 337 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,587 You took care of me when I thought there was someone in the house. 338 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,156 Oh, right, right, I did. 339 00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:58,258 I was brave. 340 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,960 Let's just get this belt and zipper undone. 341 00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:04,097 Good thing you could breathe through your nose. 342 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,433 Ow! What?! Ball snag! 343 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,135 Oh, sorry! No, no, don't touch it! 344 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:09,669 Don't...! Oh! 345 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,142 There goes another erection. 346 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,055 Hey! 347 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,290 What? 348 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,192 What in the hell happened here? 349 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,161 I tried to make breakfast for the kid. 350 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,995 "Tried"? (scoffs) 351 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,565 Yeah. The eggs were too runny, 352 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:42,069 so I made oatmeal that was too dry, 353 00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:45,838 so I made waffles that were-- and I quote-- 354 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,608 (British accent): "Bloody dreadful." 355 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,410 Where is she now? 356 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:53,746 I don't know; I don't care. 357 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,848 I can't do this, Berta. 358 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:57,384 It's just... it's too much. 359 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,985 She just never stops. 360 00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:01,254 Yeah, I raised four daughters. 361 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:07,160 The only thing that slows them down is jail and johnsons. 362 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:08,728 I told Zoey we were gonna be a family. 363 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,230 What am I gonna do? 364 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,964 The kid's seven? 365 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:12,965 Yeah. 366 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,867 Wait nine years. 367 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,436 What happens in nine years? 368 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,173 If you're lucky, she runs away with a coke-addled bass player. 369 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,342 And if I'm not lucky? 370 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,611 A drummer. 371 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,181 * Men. * 372 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:32,985 Hey. 373 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,255 Oh, you're up. 374 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,889 How are you feeling? 375 00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,091 A little better. 376 00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,426 I'm glad. 377 00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,794 Not looking forward to ripping the Band-Aid 378 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:42,929 off my scrotum, but... 379 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,732 we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. 380 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:48,268 (groaning) I'm so, so sorry. 381 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,536 Yeah, just... 382 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:53,373 FYI, if you'd like to try again, I'm wearing sweatpants. 383 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:56,909 No zipper. 384 00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,746 I cannot believe you're still horny. 385 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:03,015 Me neither, but there it is. 386 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,818 Well, I do owe you one. 387 00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:06,819 (giggling) 388 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,655 Oh, boy. 389 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:09,889 Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. 390 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:10,890 (giggling) 391 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,559 (sniffing) 392 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:14,961 Do you smell that? 393 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:15,962 Oh, don't worry. 394 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,530 That's just the Neosporin. 395 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,299 No. (sniffing) 396 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,834 It-it smells like something dead. 397 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,637 It's not Mr. Hose. 398 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:28,608 He's very much alive. 399 00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,877 Go ahead. Check. 400 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,147 I think it's coming from under the house. 401 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:37,083 I'm sorry, I-I really can't smell anything 402 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,985 'cause of my broken nose... 403 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,487 'cause of what you owe me. 404 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:43,690 It-it's probably just a raccoon or a possum. 405 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:44,524 Hang on one sec. 406 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:46,226 Let me call the exterminator. 407 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:48,261 Oh, no, no, no, that's going to take too long. 408 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,898 I'll ju... I'll just get a shovel and a garbage bag 409 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,366 and deal with it. 410 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,034 You're that horny? 411 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,070 I know, it's starting to worry me, too. 412 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,374 (grunting) 413 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,576 LYNDSEY: You okay down there? 414 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,513 Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it. 415 00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,515 (grunting) 416 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,384 Looks like a-a dead possum. 417 00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,519 Be careful. 418 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,521 ALAN: Oh, don't worry about it. 419 00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,122 I-I'm just going to shovel him into my... 420 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,258 (possum snarling) Not dead! Not dead! 421 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,293 (thrashing sound) Ow! Ow! 422 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,562 Yah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 423 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,264 I didn't mean... Ow! No! Ow! 424 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,798 Come on! 425 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,501 Oh, that's going to get infected. 426 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,036 Ah! Ahh! 427 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,105 * Men. * 428 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,841 Thank you. 429 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,116 Hey. 430 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,586 Oh, hey. Thanks for meeting me, man. 431 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,588 Whoa! 432 00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,757 What happened to you? 433 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,660 Well, let's see, uh... 434 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:56,095 Electrocuted, got my nose bashed in, 435 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:59,165 and possibly rabies. 436 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,876 How are you? 437 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,912 I am really tired. 438 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,147 My heart bleeds for you. 439 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,918 Also my left ball sack. 440 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,687 What's that smell? 441 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:27,159 Oh, Neosporin, which just a hint of possum. 442 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,930 So, uh, how are things going living with Zoey and her daughter? 443 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,732 It's good, it's good. 444 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:33,800 Oh. 445 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,067 How's living with Lyndsey? 446 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,068 Oh, it's terrific. 447 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,638 That's great. 448 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,642 That's great. 449 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,614 If I could get rid of them... Yes! A hundred times yes! 450 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,350 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 451 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,320 and TOYOTA.