1 00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:03,704 * Men. 2 00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,143 (sighs) 3 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,611 Oh, God. 4 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,879 Walden. (grunts) 5 00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,547 Wake up. You have to go. 6 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,782 What? 7 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,084 My daughter's going to be up soon. 8 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,752 I don't want her to find you in here. 9 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,454 (grunting): Okay... 10 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,955 I'm awake. 11 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,957 Now get dressed. 12 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,326 All right. 13 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:27,461 Um... before I go, 14 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:30,298 I do have that morning phenomenon 15 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,832 that sometimes happens to fellas. 16 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:33,734 You know, in the morning. 17 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,470 I don't care about your erection, okay? 18 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,539 Okay, fine, fine. 19 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:41,175 I just thought that I would point it out 20 00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,710 since it is... 21 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:45,179 you know, pointing out. 22 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,914 Very impressive. 23 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,184 Now, skedaddle before Ava wakes up, okay? 24 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,686 You know, at some point, I'm going to have to meet her. 25 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,156 At some point, yes, but not today. 26 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,758 Yeah, well, I kind of feel like I already know her. 27 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,493 I mean, I'm certainly familiar 28 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,330 with her port of entry into this world. 29 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,533 Yes. Ha ha. 30 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,000 Now, get out. 31 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,969 AVA: Mummy? 32 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,338 (gasps) 33 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,772 Uh... closet! 34 00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,007 Really? The closet? Isn't that kind of cliché? 35 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,276 Oh, God. In! 36 00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,079 I want to snuggle. 37 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:20,281 Good idea! 38 00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,283 Let's snuggle in your room. 39 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:24,118 No, here. 40 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,354 Here. Of course. 41 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,522 Um, good. 42 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,990 Now, close your eyes, 43 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,959 and Mummy will give you a super-duper snuggle. 44 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:32,760 Mwah! 45 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,462 Are your eyes closed? 46 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:35,563 Uh-huh. 47 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,765 Are Winston's eyes closed? 48 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,800 He's not real, Mummy. 49 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,303 All righty. 50 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,638 (coughing): Get out! 51 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,743 (no voice) 52 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,381 All done. 53 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,549 Now, what do you say 54 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,518 we make some pancakes? 55 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:58,819 Yay! 56 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:02,656 Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! 57 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,091 Pancake train! Pancakes! 58 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:07,661 BOTH: Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes! 59 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:13,501 I like pancakes. 60 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,437 AVA: I left Winston on your bed. 61 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,452 (gasping) 62 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:34,922 I could totally be Spider-Man. 63 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,091 (thud, groan) 64 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:43,030 (high-pitched): I think I broke my morning phenomenon. 65 00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:46,033 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 66 00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,002 * Ah. * Men. * Men. 67 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,875 * Men. 68 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,111 Can I ask you a personal question? 69 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,014 Does it involve money, drugs or pregnancy? 70 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:01,915 No. 71 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,785 How can I help you, my son? 72 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,020 You and Eldridge's mom are dating again, right? 73 00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:09,723 Right. You think you'll ever get married? 74 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,292 Uh, well, actually, we talked about that 75 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,060 and decided the only reason to do it 76 00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,229 would be if we wanted to have more kids, 77 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,030 and since we both... 78 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,740 ...had so much success the first time, 79 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,742 there's really no point. 80 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:29,777 Oh. 81 00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,245 What brought that up? 82 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,314 Oh. Me and Eldridge were thinking 83 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:35,215 it would be cool if we were brothers, 84 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:38,252 so that we could switch places to fool people. 85 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,354 That only works if you're twins, Jake. 86 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,923 How do you know for sure I'm Jake? 87 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,561 Morning. Morning. 88 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,029 What happened to you? 89 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:53,033 I was perched on a dresser, and I fell on my penis. 90 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,903 Oh. I hate when that happens. 91 00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,807 Uh... uh, dare I ask? 92 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,142 Uh, yeah, I was hiding from Zoey's daughter. 93 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:05,012 Oh. Still doesn't want you to meet her? No. 94 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,680 Well, it's not unusual for single moms 95 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,015 to be protective of their kids. 96 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,783 And then, when you are introduced to them, 97 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,453 you're "Uncle Alan, who's on his way back to Cleveland, 98 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,288 "and you don't have to remember his name 99 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:17,024 because you'll never, ever see him again." 100 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,428 What do you do to women to piss them off so much? 101 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,564 If I knew, don't you think I'd stop? 102 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,966 Well, the daughter stuff 103 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,001 isn't the only thing bothering me about Zoey. 104 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,870 Oh, I thought you guys were getting along great. 105 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,472 Well, we are... most of the time. 106 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,941 It's just... 107 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,543 Have you ever been in a relationship 108 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,511 where you're really into each other, 109 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,647 but the sex isn't everything it could be? 110 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,048 Oh, sure. 111 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,251 Uh, except for the "really into each other" part. 112 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,053 It's not that the sex is bad, Mm-hmm. 113 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,621 it's just that... 114 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,123 lately, it seems like she could just take it or leave it. 115 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,892 Oh... "Take it or leave it." 116 00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,994 Boy, I know that song. 117 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,429 But my philosophy is, 118 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,332 as long as she's taking it, I'm not leaving. 119 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:01,068 You know what she said to me last night, after we had sex? 120 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,169 (British accent): "That was nice. 121 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,004 Now let's do something fun." 122 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,274 Well, I suppose that's better than, 123 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:11,111 "Put your pants on so we can get back to the family reunion." 124 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,946 You're kidding, right? 125 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:16,350 Oh, she was just a cousin by marriage. 126 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,420 So have you actually talked to Zoey about your problem? 127 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,755 No. I was just hoping it would just get better. 128 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,491 Oh, no, no, no. Take it from me. 129 00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,325 There are two things in long-term relationships 130 00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,027 that never get better by themselves. 131 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,496 One is sex. 132 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,097 What's the other one? 133 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,365 Does it matter? 134 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,337 ZOEY: It's all arranged. 135 00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:39,172 Ava's going to be spending tonight with her dad. 136 00:05:39,239 --> 00:05:40,374 Great. 137 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,909 So sleepover at my house? 138 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,411 Sounds heavenly. 139 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,613 Although I don't know how much sleeping we'll do. 140 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,515 (chuckles) Cheeky monkey. 141 00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,316 Shall I bring around some Chinese? 142 00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,584 Hey, the more, the merrier. 143 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,586 Ha, ha. 144 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,889 You know, if there's anything I can do 145 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,427 to, you know, make you happier... 146 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,395 What on Earth are you talking about? 147 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,264 I just... I couldn't help but notice... 148 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,466 (chuckles) 149 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,067 I can't even say it. 150 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,368 (laughs) Come on, Walden. 151 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,903 You can tell me anything. 152 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,839 All right. 153 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,608 The sex. 154 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,544 You don't... you don't seem to be enjoying the sex. 155 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,845 Okay, I can't talk about that. 156 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,213 Okay, y-you said we could talk about anything. 157 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,515 Yeah, but not about that. 158 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,951 And certainly not on a computer. (groans) 159 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,486 Why? Nobody's listening. 160 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,757 I'm sorry. 161 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,560 I'm-I'm very uncomfortable talking about... 162 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,562 you know... (shudders) 163 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,829 No offense, but you don't seem 164 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,531 that comfortable doing it, either. 165 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,533 You're still talking about it. 166 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,001 I-I-I mean, because if you're not, 167 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,303 I mean, there are... there are things that we can do. 168 00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,772 There are things we can try. 169 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,406 Like? 170 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:49,943 I don't know, like role-playing. 171 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,245 Role-playing? 172 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,681 Yeah. You know... 173 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,717 "Hey, lady, I'm here to clean the pool." 174 00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,352 But I don't have a pool. 175 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,954 No, it's an imaginary pool. 176 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,124 How is you cleaning an imaginary pool 177 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,358 supposed to be erotic? 178 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,227 Okay, okay, just forget the pool. 179 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,729 I... all I'm saying is-is that, 180 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:12,466 if there's anything I can do, just let me know. 181 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,334 Thank you for your concern, 182 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,037 but I'm perfectly satisfied with our... 183 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,740 carnal interludes. 184 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,009 Really? 185 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,376 Carnal interludes? 186 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,978 Well, what do you want me to call it? 187 00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,714 It doesn't matter. I mean, the distance 188 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,582 between "carnal interludes" and what I would call it 189 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,951 isn't really susceptible to compromise. 190 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,886 All right, listen, I have to run and take Ava 191 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,588 to her father's, so I'll see you tonight, yes? 192 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:35,856 Great. 193 00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,191 Walden, believe me, 194 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,194 I am fine and dandy with our... 195 00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,798 Carnal interludes. 196 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,535 See you. 197 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,136 BERTA: Everything okay 198 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,070 with you and Mary Poppins? 199 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,304 Were you eavesdropping? 200 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,472 If I don't eavesdrop, 201 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,474 I've got nothing to tweet about. 202 00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,110 The problem is she's English. 203 00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:00,147 Stiff upper lips and all that. 204 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,050 You should date a nice Polish girl. 205 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,451 You don't say. 206 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,619 Oh, yeah. 207 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,488 Those Commies, they're all freaks. 208 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,358 Sex is the only thing 209 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,761 they didn't have to stand in line and wait for. 210 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,698 Good to know. 211 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:18,999 I think I'll stick with Zoey. 212 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,034 I just wish I could get her to relax. 213 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:21,835 You know, let go. 214 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,104 Me, I'm just the opposite. 215 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,540 I can get off leaning against the dryer 216 00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,743 with a couple of sneakers in it. 217 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,979 Is that why my Nikes are so clean? 218 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,981 Win-win. 219 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:38,185 Listen, if you want to loosen up the Duchess of Dull-In-Sack, 220 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,989 you might try slipping her one of my special brownies. 221 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,392 I got a fresh batch in the fridge. 222 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,261 You know, for my glaucoma. 223 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,366 Thank you, but I'm... 224 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,336 I don't want to have to get Zoey loaded to enjoy sex with me. 225 00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,606 Suit yourself. 226 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,040 Doesn't want to get her loaded. 227 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,643 What's the matter with kids today? 228 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:05,378 * Men. 229 00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:08,882 (movie playing on TV) 230 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:09,850 Aw. 231 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,685 That was a lovely movie. 232 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:14,221 Yeah, that Hugh Grant is really something. 233 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,289 (sighing) 234 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,198 Something wrong? 235 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,934 No. Why? 236 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,769 Usually, at this point in the evening, 237 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,671 you start getting frisky. 238 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,906 Frisky? 239 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,175 Randy. 240 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,576 Randy? 241 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,178 All right. "Horny." 242 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,280 (laughs) Made you say it. 243 00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,185 Is that an invitation to get frisky? 244 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,720 If you want. 245 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,188 If you want. 246 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,490 Well, I want if you want. 247 00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,859 No, no, I want you to want 248 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,460 because you want, not because I want. 249 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:54,828 Okay, I've lost the thread. 250 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,797 Now, are we gonna do this or not? 251 00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:58,799 Only if you want. 252 00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,533 Oh, Walden, why are you making this so difficult? 253 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,004 Because I... it's not fun for me unless you're having fun. 254 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,172 All right. 255 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,240 Let's have some fun. 256 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,743 Oh, look. 257 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,812 It's the pool cleaning man. 258 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,085 Come to clean my pool, have you? 259 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,287 Okay, that's... that's enough. 260 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:24,324 My, what a big chlorine bottle you've got. 261 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,492 O-Okay, please stop. 262 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:26,660 Let's just stop. 263 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,128 You sure? 264 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,329 Yes. 265 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,731 Oh, okay. 266 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,166 We'll go to sleep, then. 267 00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,175 Do you like brownies? 268 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,476 What? 269 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,212 Is this another game? 270 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,080 The sexy pastry chef. 271 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,548 No. No. 272 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,718 Come to butter my baking pan, have you? 273 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,085 (chuckling): No. No. 274 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,487 No. Uh... no. 275 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:55,655 No. Okay. 276 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:56,924 It's just that... 277 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,593 Berta made these... pot brownies, 278 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,797 and I just thought maybe, 279 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:07,500 if we had one, that we could relax a little bit. 280 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:11,271 Oh... Tried that once at university. 281 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,206 Had a bit of a giggle. 282 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,308 Is that a yes? 283 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,879 I don't see any harm in it. 284 00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,680 What was that? 285 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,349 Do you hear police sirens? 286 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,251 I hear police sirens. 287 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,820 (imitating European siren) 288 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,789 Dear God, they're from France! 289 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:29,790 (whimpers) 290 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,059 (panting) 291 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,694 Bummer. 292 00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:37,164 (Zoey imitating European siren) 293 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,367 Oh, no, they're getting closer! 294 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,771 (imitating European siren) 295 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:47,174 Looks like someone else found the brownies. 296 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,442 Oh, good, you saw her, too. 297 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,887 WALDEN: Zoey! 298 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,390 Zoey! 299 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,159 Okay, she's definitely not on the beach. 300 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,229 Don't worry, man, I'm sure she's somewhere. 301 00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,064 That's true. 302 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,566 Everybody's somewhere. 303 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:17,337 Whoa, that is seriously deep. 304 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,106 Slice? 305 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,308 Ah, thank you. 306 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,376 Okay. 307 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,413 We got to find Zoey before something horrible happens. 308 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,681 This is very good. 309 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,519 Anyway, we should split up. 310 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,988 A hundred bucks to the man who finds her. 311 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,389 Hundred bucks? 312 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,058 We're in. 313 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,460 Cool. 314 00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,596 Maybe she's on the beach. 315 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,902 WALDEN: Zoey! Zoey! 316 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:49,903 Okay. 317 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,572 We have to find Zoey before he does. 318 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:57,777 Where would you go if you were stoned and freaking out? 319 00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:01,081 Taco Bell. 320 00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,216 Excellent. 321 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,518 Let's go. 322 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,787 I'm right behind you. 323 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,627 WALDEN: Zoey! Zoey! 324 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,269 Mmm... 325 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,270 Hello. 326 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,905 Mm, hello, Alan. 327 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,273 What's going on? 328 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,008 Just a little snack. 329 00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,177 I see. 330 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,544 Uh, where's Walden? 331 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,545 Beats me. 332 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,682 Hey, you know what's very weird? 333 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:40,320 You Americans call these chips, we call them crisps. 334 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:43,290 And what we call chips, you call... 335 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,524 French fries. 336 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,494 Oh, don't get me started on the French. 337 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,761 Yeah. 338 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,564 Um, did you have one of Berta's brownies? 339 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,666 Indeed I did. 340 00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,368 I did indeed. 341 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,137 Indeed I did a doody-deedy. 342 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,572 Hey, 343 00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:00,840 where's Walden? 344 00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:02,242 We're supposed to be having good sex. 345 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,476 Oh, is that so? 346 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,045 Mm. 347 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,981 He thinks I don't enjoy it, but it's just hard for me 348 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,218 to give myself to a man unless I trust him completely. 349 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:12,519 I certainly understand that. 350 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,422 But once I do, I have orgasm after orgasm, 351 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,357 especially if you spank my bottom 352 00:14:17,424 --> 00:14:19,626 while I ride you like a Vespa. 353 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,167 Okay. I'll-I'll try to pass that along. 354 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,301 Um... 355 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,403 Okay, I'm going to bed now. 356 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,405 Night. Hmm. Mm. 357 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,374 By the way, I know I haven't always 358 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,642 been very warm to you. 359 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,643 Well, that's true. 360 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,045 (chuckles) 361 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,480 It's only 'cause I don't care for you very much. 362 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,016 Understood. 363 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,017 Nighty-night. 364 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,818 Good night. 365 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,057 Nice change of pace hearing it with an accent. 366 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,525 (imitating Zoey): "I just don't care for you very much." 367 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,528 It's classy. 368 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,563 Oh, hey. 369 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,730 Oh, hey, there you are. 370 00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,266 Zoey's looking for you. 371 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,300 She's here? 372 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,534 Yeah, she went to bed. 373 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,671 Oh. Thank God. 374 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,573 I better go check on her. 375 00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,678 But first, ice cream. 376 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,046 (door closes) 377 00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:16,016 JAKE: Good news! We found Zoey! 378 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,987 * Ta-da! 379 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:24,091 Which one of you is the billionaire looking for me? 380 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,567 I'm so sorry about last night. 381 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,003 Don't be silly. 382 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,271 I'm just glad you didn't end up in a French prison. 383 00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,306 (chuckles) 384 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,473 (imitating European siren) 385 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,642 (laughs) 386 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,277 I hope you don't think I'm a lost cause. 387 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,712 No, no. 388 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,715 I do like... you know. 389 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,950 Glad to hear. 390 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:54,254 Don't worry, I will not stop until I hear Paul Revere. 391 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,888 I beg your pardon? 392 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,923 You know, the British are coming! 393 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,158 The British are coming! 394 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,693 (laughs) 395 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:02,929 Hello. 396 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,232 Nigel, what are you doing here? 397 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,799 I had to bring Ava back early. 398 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,568 Hello. Nigel Pierce. 399 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,802 Walden Schmidt. 400 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,271 Nigel is my ex-husband. 401 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,340 A role I relish. 402 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,643 I need to catch a plane to London, 403 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,278 so you'll have to have Ava for the weekend. 404 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:19,746 And what if I have plans? 405 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,382 Yes, I can see your plans. 406 00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:26,653 Mummy, Daddy said he can't take me to the zoo. 407 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,689 Oh, wonderful, just wonderful. 408 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,724 Are you and Daddy going to fight? 409 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,927 No. Mummy will take you to the zoo instead of Daddy. 410 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,130 Brilliant, make me the bad guy. 411 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:40,333 Oh, no one made you the bad guy, you were born to it. 412 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,203 Uh, you know what, Ava? 413 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,671 I'm a little thirsty. 414 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,207 Maybe you could show me where I could get a glass of water. 415 00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,741 Is it all right, Mummy? 416 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,510 Yeah. Good idea. 417 00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,312 Come on, then. 418 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,184 They're gonna fight now. 419 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,718 Yeah, I know. 420 00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,721 So this is what you prefer now, hmm? 421 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,456 Underwear models? 422 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:07,260 He happens to be a billionaire. 423 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:13,400 Yes, well, I happen to be 107th in line to the throne. 424 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,036 Here's your water. 425 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:17,737 Thank you. 426 00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,940 You're very welcome. 427 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,611 Oh, whoa! 428 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:28,014 This is the best water I have ever had. 429 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,317 Did you make this yourself? 430 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,453 No, silly, it came out of the fridge. 431 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,422 Oh. 432 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,290 Well, then cheers. 433 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,359 Mmm. 434 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,532 I'm a queen. 435 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,599 You are? 436 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,568 Queen Ava. 437 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,503 Well, then what am I? 438 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,206 I have no idea. 439 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,545 (British accent): Walden Schmidt, Your Majesty. 440 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:01,148 Pleased to meet you. 441 00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,716 I shall call you Sir Schmidt. 442 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,385 Oh! At your service. 443 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,719 Oh! 444 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,887 (laughing) 445 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,790 (laughing): Oh! Oh! 446 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,826 Well, you two seem to be getting along. 447 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,863 Can Sir Schmidt come with us to the zoo? 448 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,331 Sir Schmidt? 449 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,832 Hmm. I don't know. 450 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,134 Please? 451 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,236 He's my loyal subject. 452 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:26,005 Well, I suppose, if he wants. 453 00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:29,376 (cockney accent): I live to do the queen's bidding. 454 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,910 (chuckles) 455 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,812 All right, go and get your jacket. 456 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,515 Yay! 457 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:37,484 Sir Schmidt? 458 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,853 My grandfather shortened it from Schmidt-a-Lot. 459 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,327 (sighs): Oh, goodness. 460 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,661 That was quite a day. 461 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,597 Yeah. It was fun, wasn't it? 462 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:51,931 It was. 463 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,400 Is she still sleeping? 464 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,034 She's comatose. 465 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,769 Here, let me take her. 466 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,471 (groans with effort) Shh. 467 00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,973 Oh, dear, you have a bit of drool on your shoulder. 468 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,475 Oh, that's not a problem. 469 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,845 My housekeeper has a lot of experience with drool stains. 470 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,780 Ah. I'm gonna go and put her down. 471 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,048 Be right back. 472 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,084 (ringtone playing) 473 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,427 Hey, Jake. 474 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,695 Really? You found Zoey. 475 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,768 That's great. 476 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,037 Thank you. 477 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,875 Little dude's got to lay off the brownies. 478 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:38,478 She's absolutely knackered. 479 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,046 It was a long day. 480 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,181 You were just wonderful with her. 481 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,452 Thanks. 482 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,054 Well, I guess I better head home. 483 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,390 I think not. 484 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:51,724 What's happening? 485 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,025 It's very, very simple. 486 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,727 I'm going to take you into my bedroom 487 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,996 and bang you like a snare drum. 488 00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,332 WALDEN: Yippee! 489 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,068 * Men. 490 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,341 Oh, hey. Where you been? 491 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,610 I went to the zoo with Zoey and her little girl. 492 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,479 Wow! So you finally met the daughter. 493 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,213 Yep. Might make it tough 494 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,615 if the relationship doesn't work out. 495 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:16,716 Why wouldn't it work out? 496 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,150 Well, you know, the lack of 497 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,752 sexual chemistry you were talking about. 498 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:22,088 Oh, no, we're way past that. 499 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:25,091 Oh. So she opened up about her trust issues? 500 00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,158 Trust issues? 501 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,328 No, zoos make her horny. 502 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,831 Really? You think that's it? 503 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,232 Yep. 504 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,035 Next weekend, we're going to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. 505 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,441 Uh... 506 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:42,775 hello. 507 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,311 (with accent): You Walden? 508 00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,112 Yeah. 509 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,214 I Zoey. 510 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:54,854 Ah. 511 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,123 It's nice to meet you. 512 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,226 Well? 513 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:01,694 Keep looking. 514 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,630 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 515 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,432 and TOYOTA. 516 00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:08,335 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org