1 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,041 Rose and Manfred... 2 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:09,043 She's really doing it. 3 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,144 Rose is getting married. 4 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,213 And we're clear. 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,448 Yep. That ought to do it. 6 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,117 Thanks, Freddie. 7 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,919 Who moves you, Rose, him or me? 8 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:19,853 I love Manny. 9 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,155 Fine. 10 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,091 You just say the word and I'll go. 11 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,293 Time's up. 12 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,263 Charlie, I am willing to let you get in 13 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:30,564 on the ground floor 14 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,433 of an amazing business opportunity. 15 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,601 How much is this going to cost me? 16 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:34,835 $5,000. 17 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:37,105 Okay, fine, I'll give you the five grand, 18 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,574 knowing full well that I'll never see it again and wishing that it was you. 19 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,709 How much? 20 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:42,710 I think I'll need... 21 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,146 $10,000. 22 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,480 All right. 23 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,949 Although I could make due... All right?! 24 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:50,318 How much are we talking about? 25 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,952 $15,000. 26 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,287 Hang on, I'll get my checkbook. 27 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,756 Tell you what-- let it ride. 28 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,258 Really? 29 00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,893 Hey, a 20% return in a couple of weeks? Come on. 30 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,597 So listen, can anybody get in on this deal of yours? 31 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,671 You ask for money and they just give it to you! 32 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,541 And then you take the new money and use it 33 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,443 to pay back some of the old money, 34 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,111 but they don't want it back. 35 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,213 And they give you more. 36 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,748 'Cause they're greedy. 37 00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:24,552 Oh, God, what have I done?! 38 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,288 * Men. 39 00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:44,738 Hi. I'd like a Jumbo Jack and an apple turnover. 40 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,274 (door slides open) 41 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,543 Do you want fries with that? 42 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,646 Sorry. I didn't realize there was anybody in there. 43 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:56,250 Um, bless me, Father, for I have sinned? 44 00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,686 Are you asking me or telling me? 45 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,754 Telling you? 46 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:03,123 I-I'm sorry. I just not really sure of the rules. 47 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:04,958 When was your last confession? 48 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:06,794 Oh, wow, let's see... 49 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,163 uh, that would be... never? 50 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,265 Are you even Catholic? 51 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,733 No, but I'm a big fan. 52 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:18,439 The costumes, the music, crackers and wine. 53 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:21,041 That's the body and blood of our Savior. 54 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,776 I know! Mm-mm good! 55 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,178 You guys ever think 56 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,013 about putting that in supermarkets 57 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,147 like a Lunchable? 58 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:29,149 What can I do for you, my son? 59 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,084 Oh, right to it. 60 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,553 Okay, just to be clear, 61 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,088 what I tell you is between you and me. 62 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,123 And the Lord. 63 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,291 Sure, but I'm not worried 64 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:38,792 about him blabbing. 65 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,093 You I just met. 66 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,496 Couldn't pick you out of a lineup. 67 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,733 Whatever you say here is confidential. 68 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,868 And I just drank a huge Arnold Palmer, 69 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,303 so could you get to it? 70 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,205 Absolutely, absolutely. 71 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,341 Uh, uh, here it is. 72 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,142 Do you know what a Ponzi scheme is? 73 00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,711 I do. Are you an investment banker? 74 00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,012 No, I'm a chiropractor. 75 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,048 A chiropractic Ponzi scheme. 76 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,116 Okay, you piqued my interest. 77 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,685 Okay, long story short, 78 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,355 I chiseled my family out of a lot of money 79 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,189 that they're never going to see again. 80 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,824 And you're feeling guilty. 81 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,260 Bingo. 82 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:15,996 Hey, bingo-- that's your racket, right? 83 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,332 Yeah, that's us. 84 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,967 You've got to like a god 85 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,503 that's willing to put the hustle on old ladies. 86 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,972 Arnold Palmer's on the 18th hole. 87 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,840 Right, right, sorry, sorry. 88 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,710 So I was hoping that you could forgive me. 89 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,246 Are you prepared to make restitution 90 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,348 and confess what you've done to your family? 91 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,049 Oh, God no. 92 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:39,019 I was just hoping you could give me a few Hail Marys 93 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:42,590 and I could make a donation to the church's legal defense fund. 94 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,957 Win-win. 95 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,394 I'm afraid that's not how absolution works. 96 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,228 You have to make an act of contrition 97 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,397 and then do penance. 98 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:51,265 Do I get to keep the money? 99 00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,267 No. 100 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,507 Huh. 101 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,108 Uh, you know what? 102 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,312 Um, I'm just going to mosey over to Temple Beth Shalom 103 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,979 and see what their deal is. 104 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,649 I'll get back to you. 105 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,919 Oy vey. 106 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,922 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 107 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,292 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * * Ooh 108 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:21,462 * Men, men, men, men, manly men * * Ooh * Ooh 109 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,531 * Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... * 110 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,933 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 111 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:29,269 * Ooh * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 112 00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,439 * Ah. * Men. * Men. 113 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,814 * Men. 114 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,552 Wow. 115 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,119 Yeah. 116 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,821 That was incredible. 117 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,289 More than incredible-- 118 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,291 it was transcendental. 119 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,561 This is where I was always meant to be, Rose-- 120 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,295 right here in your arms. 121 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:59,066 I'm so glad to hear you say that, Charlie. 122 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,968 Now get out. 123 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,736 So soon? 124 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,105 Manny will be home any minute. 125 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,475 But I want to cuddle. 126 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,076 You want us to get caught? 127 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,412 This isn't fair. 128 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:12,746 The two of us sneaking around 129 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,048 so we can spend an hour together. 130 00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,017 But what can I do? 131 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,719 I have a husband. 132 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,821 Let's go away for the weekend. 133 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:21,989 Just the two of us. 134 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,023 Where? 135 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,625 I don't care. 136 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,059 Someplace where we can walk down the street holding hands. 137 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,861 Where we can laugh together, play together, 138 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,898 yell at the top of our lungs and not care who hears us. 139 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,900 So, Disneyland? 140 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:36,103 I was thinking more in terms of someplace with liquor, but... 141 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,839 That's Manny's car. 142 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:39,840 I didn't hear anything. 143 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:40,908 It's a Prius. 144 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,545 Just think about it, okay? 145 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:47,815 A romantic weekend with nothing for us to do 146 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,618 but make love and be together. 147 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,387 And, you know, drink. 148 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,124 Yay. 149 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,826 After all these years, 150 00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,495 I finally get a weekend with Charlie. 151 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,198 Did you hear that, hubby? 152 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,435 Up top. 153 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,173 * Men. 154 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,075 Think, damn it. 155 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:18,278 There's got to be a way to lose the guilt and keep the money. 156 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,780 BAD ALAN: There is. 157 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,315 Leave me alone. 158 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,951 You've made enough trouble for me already. 159 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,619 Oh, quit your bitchin'. 160 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,388 And for God's sake, stop washing your hands like Lady Macbeth. 161 00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,991 I have to wash my hands. I just peed. 162 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:31,992 So? 163 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,494 So what if I don't wash 164 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:34,995 and then shake somebody's hand? 165 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,498 Screw 'em. They were probably picking their nose. 166 00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,768 Now listen to me-- you've got to grow a pair. 167 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,436 I've got a pair. 168 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,271 You've got a pair of panties. 169 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,507 Hey, you can't talk to me like that. 170 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,442 And stay away from that darn priest. 171 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,243 I need somebody to talk to. 172 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,680 That's what I'm here for. Dad? 173 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,818 Hey, buddy. 174 00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,487 Is there somebody in there with you? 175 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,822 Oh, no. Nobody but me. See? 176 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,224 Then who were you talking to? 177 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,460 Oh, I was just singing. 178 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,661 That wasn't singing. 179 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:10,097 Who are you, Simon Cowell? 180 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,199 What do you want? 181 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,567 I need to borrow 50 bucks. 182 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:14,968 Oh, oh, sure. 183 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,369 The reason I need it is, me and Eldridge 184 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,138 went to visit this friend of ours 185 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,340 who's in the hospital, but he forgot his book on the bus, 186 00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,310 so I lent him mine, but wouldn't you know it, he lost that one, too. 187 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,245 So now I have to buy two math books 188 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,548 'cause he's broke, and there's this big math test coming up 189 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,483 and we were going to study together for it. 190 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,058 Oversold it, didn't I? 191 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:45,833 * Men. 192 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,168 (chuckling) 193 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,738 What's funny? 194 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,773 Rose is at a dinner party with her husband 195 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,441 and she's sexting me from under the table. 196 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,009 Sexting? 197 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,445 It's like regular texting, but, you know, dirty. 198 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:01,949 You see, that's not a smiley face. 199 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,183 Charming. 200 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,753 Um, listen, I need to talk to you about something. 201 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,755 Yeah, sure. What's up? 202 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:08,656 (test message chimes) 203 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,423 Oh, you bad girl. 204 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,826 You know that money you gave to me 205 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:13,994 to invest in my business? 206 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:14,795 Yeah, what about it? 207 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,664 Well, here's the thing. 208 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:20,067 I-I know I said I was going to buy advertising... Oh, I almost forgot. 209 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,502 I told Rose about how well you're doing for me, 210 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:23,971 and now she wants in. 211 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,038 She does? 212 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:27,474 Oh, yeah. And she's loaded, too. 213 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,809 Huh. 214 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,844 So what did you want to talk about? 215 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,547 Uh... 216 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,752 Just that we're making money up the wazoo. 217 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,155 So you're going to need a bigger wazoo. 218 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,157 That's great. 219 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,425 (text message chimes) 220 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,860 (chuckles) 221 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:50,230 Oh, man, she's not wearing any underwear. 222 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,032 She texted you that? 223 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,300 Sent me a picture. 224 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,535 Excuse me, but I gotta respond. 225 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,207 Uh, let me just give you some privacy. 226 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,709 Where you going? 227 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,644 Who's gonna take the picture? 228 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,081 * Men. 229 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,718 So, Rose, I appreciate your interest, 230 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,286 but things are going incredibly well. 231 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,622 Yeah, I can barely handle 232 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,324 the volume of patients I have now. 233 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,460 Really? $30,000? 234 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,329 Take it. Take it! Shh, shh. 235 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,031 We could get a new car. 236 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,333 Maybe one with a working radio-- 237 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,300 and brakes. 238 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,169 You know what, Rose? 239 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,171 We've been friends a long time, 240 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,107 so I'm going to make an exception here. 241 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,709 You're welcome. 242 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,946 Can you wire the money over today? 243 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,214 I can give it to you right now. 244 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,817 Whoa! 245 00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,919 You surprised me. 246 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,288 Oh, Alan, Alan, Alan. 247 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,422 What are you doing? 248 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,058 Oh, what do you mean? 249 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,093 I'm-I'm just taking a break between patients. 250 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,363 Oh, uh, uh... 251 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,932 Chiropractic X-ray glasses. 252 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:03,103 Cutting-edge stuff. 253 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,237 Oh, please. 254 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,806 There's nobody in the waiting room. 255 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,307 You don't even have a receptionist. 256 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,643 Oh, she's off. It's a Jewish holiday. 257 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,311 Which one? 258 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,948 Hava-na-kuchnik. 259 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,151 What are you doing here? 260 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,320 Did you really think I was going to invest 261 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,554 without doing my due diligence? 262 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,724 Everybody else did. 263 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,525 Now I know what's really going on. 264 00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,860 No, you don't. 265 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,862 You're stealing from your own family. 266 00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:32,399 Oh... I guess you do. 267 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,669 Shame on you. 268 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,741 A whistle blower. 269 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:44,244 This could be problematic. 270 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,149 * Men. 271 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,918 Oh, boy, oh, boy. 272 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,652 She's gonna tell Charlie. 273 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,822 Charlie's gonna tell Mom then Berta 274 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,656 then Herb then Judith. 275 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:59,126 Oh, my God-- Judith. 276 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,231 Gotta be something that I can do. There's got to be. 277 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,233 BAD ALAN: As long as you're sitting on the toilet, 278 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,868 why don't you whip out your lady parts and tinkle? 279 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:10,003 You-- this is all your fault! 280 00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,172 I didn't hear you bellyaching when you were 281 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,908 sitting in your office watching 3-D beach babes. 282 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,444 Excuse me, but I am about to go to jail! 283 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,847 You know what happens to pretty, slender fellas in jail? 284 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,514 Yeah, they usually hang themselves 285 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,116 after their first shower. 286 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,918 But relax. 287 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:27,220 Rose ain't gonna tell nobody nothin'. 288 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:31,124 Way I see it, you've got as much on her as she's got on you. 289 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,893 You're right. 290 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:33,994 She's cheating on her husband. 291 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,797 Winner, winner, chicken dinner. 292 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:39,066 She tells on me, I tell on her. 293 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,468 Criss-cross, apple sauce. 294 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,937 I got nothing to worry about. 295 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:47,040 Herky-jerky, where's your turkey? 296 00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,009 Why do you keep talking like that? 297 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,878 I'm looking for a catch phrase. 298 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,412 BERTA: Zippy? 299 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,983 Flim-flam, you're in a jam. 300 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,153 Oh, hey! 301 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,822 Somebody in there with you? 302 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:02,923 Oh, no, no. 303 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,691 Um, how can I help you? 304 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,559 Just brought your clean towels. 305 00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:07,828 Oh, uh, what about my washcloths? 306 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,062 I threw those away. 307 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,398 Why? Do you really have to ask? 308 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:19,339 Miss you, kiss you, use a tissue. 309 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:24,011 * Men. 310 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,383 You're awfully quiet tonight. 311 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:35,188 Now, don't look at me that way. 312 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,891 You knew the deal when we got married. 313 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,463 (doorbell rings) 314 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:44,631 Uh-oh. 315 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:45,833 Shh. 316 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,401 Who is it? 317 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,669 It's Alan. 318 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,371 We need to talk. 319 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,373 Just a second. 320 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,344 Let's go, Rose. 321 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,445 I haven't got all night. 322 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,151 What is wrong with you? 323 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,286 Manny is taking a nap on the deck. 324 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,621 Oh, well, maybe I need to, uh, wake him up 325 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:09,957 and have a little talk with him. 326 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,324 About what? 327 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,293 Well, it occurred to me that you might be tempted 328 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,295 to tell someone about my little business venture. 329 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,663 Oh, you mean your Ponzi scheme? 330 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,865 Knock it off, Rose. 331 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,732 Unless you want me to tell your husband 332 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,768 that you're having an affair with my brother. 333 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,036 You wouldn't. 334 00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:25,805 Criss-cross, apple sauce. 335 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,607 What? 336 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:30,210 Doesn't matter. 337 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,946 The point is, if you tell, I'll tell. 338 00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,181 Go ahead. 339 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,448 Tell him. 340 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,450 If my husband leaves me, I'll still have Charlie. 341 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,619 But if I tell everyone what you've been up to, 342 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,888 what will you have? 343 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,457 Crap. 344 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,760 Oopsie-doopsie, watch your poopsie. 345 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,064 (bird squawking) 346 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,703 There's a bird on your husband's head. 347 00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,738 Yeah. So? 348 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,607 (bird squawking) 349 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:06,914 Crap. 350 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,049 * Men. 351 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,519 * Men. 352 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,355 This is your husband? 353 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:16,957 This is Manny Quinn? 354 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,692 Oh, my God, Manny Quinn. 355 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,294 Your husband's a dummy. 356 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,432 To be fair, he wasn't the one fooled by a mannequin. 357 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,835 What do you use to get bird poop off a husband? 358 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,703 Charlie thinks you're actually married. 359 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:33,540 Uh, yeah, that's kind of the idea. 360 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,642 I'm not gonna let you scam him like that. 361 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,544 I understand. 362 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,212 What's that, Manny? 363 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,647 I hadn't even thought of that. 364 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,949 Thought of what? 365 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,483 What did he-- What are you saying? 366 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,085 How much would you need to pay back 367 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,819 all the money you stole from your family? 368 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,488 I didn't steal, they invested. 369 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,222 Fine. How much? 370 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,757 $50,000. 371 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:53,126 Why don't you wait here and I'll go get my checkbook. 372 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,761 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 373 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,063 I-I am loyal to my brother. 374 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:57,897 You can't buy my silence with a check. 375 00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,800 You want cash? You have cash? 376 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:03,070 I mean, I won't betray Charlie! 377 00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,175 You may have to kill him. 378 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,212 * Men. 379 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,649 Well, hey, uh, what are you still doing here? 380 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,351 I need my money back. 381 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:18,952 Why? 382 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,387 Just found out 383 00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,155 two of my teenage granddaughters are pregnant. 384 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,957 At the same time? 385 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,258 By the same guy. 386 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:28,095 Long story short, I need cash quick. 387 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,262 Uh, o-okay. 388 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:30,964 Um, how much are we talking? 389 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,633 All of it. A-All of it? 390 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,734 Is that a problem? 391 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:38,305 No, no, it's not a-a problem. 392 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:42,242 Um... if you want cash, um, you'll have to wait 393 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,944 till tomorrow, so I can go to the bank. 394 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:45,845 Tomorrow's fine. 395 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,114 Good, good. 396 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,948 Of course you're gonna lose quite a bit 397 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:50,317 by pulling out early. 398 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:53,320 Yeah, well, if Jimmy Lee had done the same, 399 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,955 I wouldn't need the money. 400 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,460 Okay, tomorrow! 401 00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,195 Oh, boy. 402 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,597 BAD ALAN: Don't panic. 403 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,566 In the toaster, numb-nuts. 404 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,869 Okay, Mr. Smart Guy. 405 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,738 How do you suggest I pay off Berta? 406 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,905 I spent all the money. 407 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:13,706 On what? 408 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,142 Well, you know, 409 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,511 clothing, jewelry, electronics, a little lipo. 410 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,013 Liposuction? 411 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,881 I had a bit of a muffin top. 412 00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:25,552 You know, I actually feel a lot better about myself now. 413 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,154 Okay, well, um, 414 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,921 then you're gonna have to get another investor. 415 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,290 What about the goofy chick? 416 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,391 Rose? 417 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,959 She did offer me $50,000. 418 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,561 Why didn't you take it, schmuck? 419 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,697 Because if I took it, I would have to betray my brother. 420 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:38,998 CHARLIE: Hey, Alan. 421 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,433 Who you talking to? 422 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,434 Nobody. 423 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,935 Want some toast? 424 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,437 Maybe later. Check it out. 425 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,872 Two first-class tickets to Paris. 426 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:46,606 We're going to Paris? 427 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,007 Great idea. 428 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,942 Can we leave before the banks open tomorrow? 429 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,244 What?! 430 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:52,145 Are you out of your mind? 431 00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,646 I'm taking Rose. 432 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,582 Did you know they have their own Disneyland there, 433 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:56,816 and they serve wine? 434 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,519 But what about her husband? 435 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,654 I'm gonna ask her to leave him and marry me. 436 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:05,658 Oh, gee, Charlie, that may not be the best idea. 437 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,594 I don't recall asking for your opinion. 438 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,063 Hey, hey, I'm just looking out for you. 439 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,165 Do me a favor, a little less looking out, 440 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,167 little more moving out. 441 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,170 You're right. Screw him. 442 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,605 Okay, let's go get that cash 443 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,573 from the crazy chick who married the mannequin. 444 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,808 She's crazy? 445 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,976 I'm the one talking to a kitchen appliance. 446 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:27,514 Hey, look, I'm trapped in a toaster. 447 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:32,585 Wait, wait, I'm coming with you! 448 00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,689 * Men. 449 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,826 I think that's everything. 450 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,328 So what did you tell your husband? 451 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,929 I didn't have to tell him anything. 452 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,531 He's in New York for a big fashion show. 453 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,698 Perfect. 454 00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:47,900 So what kind of clothes he design anyway? 455 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,736 Men's sportswear, mostly. 456 00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:50,870 Anything I might like? 457 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,139 No, it's more the kind of stuff 458 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,140 Alan would wear. 459 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,508 Oh, so, tacky. 460 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:59,512 You know, I think I left my raincoat in the bedroom. 461 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,747 I'll get it. 462 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,883 Oh, thanks. 463 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,253 Uh-oh. 464 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,093 Whoa. 465 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:19,599 I guess the guy brings his work home with him. 466 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,969 Yep. 467 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,205 Tacky. 468 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,108 I got it! 469 00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,412 * Men. 470 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:36,149 * Men. 471 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,385 Here is your $10,000. 472 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,220 Hope it works out with your granddaughters. 473 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,054 They're 15 years old and pregnant. 474 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,558 What should I look forward to, the next season of Teen Mom? 475 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,028 And that is it. 476 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,298 Everybody is paid off. 477 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,132 But you're broke again. 478 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,067 But my conscience is clear. 479 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,237 Dy-no-mite! 480 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,874 The rhyming thing really wasn't working. 481 00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:03,443 Leave me alone. 482 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,345 All you are is my dark side. 483 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:07,514 Fine, would you rather listen to your light side? 484 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,081 What are you talking about? 485 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,983 There's more of us in here, buddy. 486 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,019 More? 487 00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,887 Oh, really? 488 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,356 That shirt with those pants? 489 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,890 What were you thinking? 490 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,929 Okay, who else you got? 491 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,297 Who else do you need?