1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:04,738 * Here in my car, I feel safest of all * 2 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,207 * I can lock all my doors 3 00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,875 * It's the only way to live 4 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,410 * In cars... 5 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:11,412 (humming) 6 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,984 Whatcha doin'? 7 00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,753 Building an original 1978 Firebird. 8 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:21,789 Got it on eBay. 9 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,923 Okay. 10 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,258 Why? 11 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,560 I had this model when I was little, remember? 12 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:28,429 I spent a month building it and painting it 13 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,830 and putting on all the decals. 14 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:32,600 Is that the one I tried to make a bong out of? 15 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,070 No, that was my Munster Mobile. 16 00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,006 And my ventriloquist dummy. 17 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:42,176 And my Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. 18 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:44,178 My Firebird you blow-torched 19 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,880 with a cigarette lighter and Mom's Aqua Net. 20 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,717 Oh, yeah, the "Fire"-bird. 21 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,686 Anyway, I loved that model and now I'm gonna have it again. 22 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,889 I am gonna have it again, right? 23 00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,057 Relax. 24 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,526 If I destroy any of your cars, 25 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,828 it'll be that oil-dripping piece of crap 26 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,163 out there in my garage. 27 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,799 * Here in my car 28 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,235 * I can only receive 29 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,569 * I can listen to you 30 00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:10,804 * It keeps me stable for days * 31 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:11,839 * In cars... 32 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:16,110 (singing continues) 33 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:18,312 I'm worried about my brother. 34 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,282 Why? Well... 35 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,950 he's either so lonely, 36 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,785 he's trying to recapture his childhood, 37 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,821 which was not that good in the first place, 38 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,159 or he's created an elaborate ruse to hide the fact 39 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,361 that he's become a degenerate glue-sniffer. 40 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,630 To be honest, I'm rootin' for the glue. 41 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,300 You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about him. 42 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,401 You want him gone? He's gone. 43 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,635 That's how much I love you. 44 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,704 No, no, he's a wonderful guy. 45 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:47,341 I actually have a friend that I think might be a good match for him. 46 00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,910 Oh, no, you're wrong. 47 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,345 Oh, come on, Charlie. 48 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,216 Listen... 49 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,251 * ...started to think 50 00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,619 * About leaving tonight 51 00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:00,721 * Although nothing seemed... 52 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:05,025 You don't want to do that to a friend, do you? 53 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,360 Alan's a doll. 54 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,095 He just needs to find the right woman. 55 00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,597 If you check his closet, 56 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,065 you'll find the right woman is a doll. 57 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,767 At least let me try. 58 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,036 I'll set up a dinner with the four of us. 59 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:16,937 It'll be fun. 60 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,439 For who? 61 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,308 It's bad enough you want to punish your friend. 62 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,742 Why do I have to suffer? 63 00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,111 Isn't it worth one night of your life 64 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,746 to maybe make two people happy? 65 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:26,647 That's not fair. 66 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:27,815 I always come off bad 67 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,251 when I answer questions like that truthfully. 68 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,820 Just do it for me. 69 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:33,954 (groans) 70 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:34,988 Is that a yes? 71 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,191 (groans) 72 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,194 Remember those words when we go to bed tonight. 73 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,262 What words? 74 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,797 "Just do it for me." 75 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,501 So, anyway, 76 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,070 he's Charlie's brother and a very sweet guy 77 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,939 and I really think you'll like him. 78 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:56,710 Boy, I don't know. 79 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,446 Blind dates. 80 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,715 You never know what kind of freak you're gonna end up with. 81 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,718 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 82 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:05,753 * Ah, ah-ah 83 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,755 * Men. 84 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,692 * Men. * 85 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,361 So you don't know her name? Nope. 86 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,396 And you don't know what she does? Nope. 87 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,797 And you don't know what she looks like? 88 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,399 What do you care? 89 00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,468 You were gonna spend the night building a scale model 90 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,536 of TheDukes of Hazzard car. 91 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,539 Ah, actually I just finished theGeneral Lee. 92 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,541 Now I'm working on Burt Reynolds' Trans Am 93 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,176 from Smokey and the Bandit. 94 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:32,346 Okay, okay, just promise me 95 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,382 you won't bring any of that up tonight. 96 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,983 Why? Why?! 97 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,921 You're asking me why a 40-year-old man shouldn't talk 98 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,956 about model cars on a first date? 99 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,792 Hmm. 100 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:45,959 I see your point. 101 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,328 Leave a little mystery. 102 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:50,864 Yeah, that's my point. 103 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:51,899 Come on. 104 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:52,966 Oh, speaking of mystery, 105 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,668 I am currently the high bidder 106 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,938 on an original, mint in the box Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine. 107 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,575 * Men. * 108 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,445 How do I look? 109 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,146 Don't open that can of worms. 110 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,349 You are what you are. 111 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,785 There's Chelsea. 112 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,556 Sorry we're late. No, no, 113 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,725 we were early. You look great! 114 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,560 Thank you. So do you. 115 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,966 Charlie, Alan, this is my friend Rose. 116 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,000 Rose, 117 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,602 this is Charlie and Alan. 118 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,738 It's nice to meet you, Alan. 119 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,006 No, that's Charlie. 120 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,743 Ooh, even better. 121 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:36,777 Hi, Alan. 122 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,779 Hi. 123 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,350 Why don't we all sit down? 124 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,018 So many reasons. 125 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,423 Chelsea's told me so much about you boys. 126 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,459 It-It's so nice to finally meet you. 127 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:54,895 Alan, I understand you're a chiropractor. 128 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,966 Yes. 129 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,969 I'm a chiropractor. 130 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,003 Charlie? 131 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,339 Yes. 132 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,376 He is a chiropractor. 133 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,278 Oh, that's just terrific. 134 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,313 And what do you do, Charlie? 135 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,148 Um... 136 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,519 I write kids' songs and jingles. 137 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,554 Alan? 138 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,956 Yes. 139 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,694 He writes kids' songs and jingles. 140 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,365 And I am a chiropractor. 141 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:37,671 Yes, he's a chiropractor. 142 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,208 They don't get out much, do they? 143 00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,677 Apparently not. 144 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,814 So, Chels, where did you meet... 145 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,882 Rose. 146 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,718 Right. 147 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,756 Rose. 148 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:56,424 Yoga class. 149 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:57,124 No kiddin'. 150 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,559 Yeah. 151 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:01,028 And then we ran into each other at Pilates, 152 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,162 and the manicurist, 153 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,931 and jogging, 154 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,265 and the dry cleaner. 155 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,934 Crazy, huh? 156 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,936 Sure are. Sure is. 157 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,641 Seemed like every time I turned around, there she was. 158 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,744 Seemed like every time I turned around, there you were. 159 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,012 I thought maybe you were stalking me. 160 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,481 (both laugh) 161 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,186 That's funny. 162 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,455 Good one. Yeah. 163 00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,024 Can I start you off with cocktails? 164 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,061 I think I need to stay sober tonight. 165 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,697 But you guys go ahead. 166 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:37,665 I'll have a Chardonnay. 167 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:38,799 I'll be right back. 168 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,469 I'll go with you. 169 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,103 I'll have a double vodka rocks. 170 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:47,040 I feel a little reckless tonight. 171 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,243 Fun personality, huh? 172 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,713 Yeah. 173 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:56,116 Unfortunately, she's got six more of them. 174 00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,618 And for you, sir? 175 00:06:57,685 --> 00:06:59,286 Whiskey, neat. 176 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,988 Since when do you drink hard liquor? 177 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,255 Since right now. 178 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,925 I'd order a glass of crack if it were on the menu. 179 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,329 Tru dat. 180 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,364 Why didn't you say something? 181 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,600 Why didn't you say something? 182 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,300 I was following your lead. 183 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:14,802 What lead? 184 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,804 The minute I saw her, I practically peed my pants. 185 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,772 Well then, I did follow your lead. 186 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,874 So-So what are we going to do now? 187 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,009 I don't know. 188 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,176 I guess we play along. 189 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,211 Play along?! 190 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,378 Are you serious?! 191 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,413 What am I supposed to do, Alan? 192 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,648 Tell the truth? 193 00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:29,683 "Oh Chelsea, I almost forgot, 194 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,652 "your new BFF and I had a one-night stand 195 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,821 "and when I dumped her, she superglued my nutsack 196 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,989 "to my thigh and started stalking me. 197 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,057 "Oh, and then 198 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,692 "I thought maybe I was in love with her 199 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,060 "and followed her to England. 200 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,829 "And then when she came back from England, 201 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,031 I thought I was dying and almost asked her to marry me." 202 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,667 Yeah, when you put it in story form, 203 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,001 it really does sound bad. 204 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,504 So, we play along 205 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,540 until I can find out what Rose's angle is. 206 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,575 So, what, I'm supposed to date her?! 207 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,576 Stop flattering yourself. 208 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,610 This isn't about you. 209 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,078 It's me she's interested in. 210 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,780 What are you saying, I'm not good enough for her? 211 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,549 What are you saying, 212 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,050 you want that looney tune as a girlfriend? 213 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:03,884 No! 214 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,086 But I am currently unattached. 215 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,591 Now, you listen to me, 216 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,960 this is a blind date that goes no further. 217 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,027 You understand? 218 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,495 I got it. 219 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,935 (whispers): She really likes him. 220 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,136 Swell. 221 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,752 * Men. * 222 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,055 I thought there was real chemistry between them. 223 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,992 I'm sure they have some meds in common. 224 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,396 But I wouldn't get your hopes up. 225 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,431 Why not? 226 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:52,600 She's not his type. 227 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,701 What do you mean? 228 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:56,704 She's pretty, smart, rich... 229 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,006 Okay, then, he's not her type. 230 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,476 ("Cars" by Gary Numan playing) 231 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,478 (both moaning) 232 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,480 This is crazy. 233 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,182 I know. 234 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,283 We just met. 235 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,858 * Men. * 236 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,261 * Men. * 237 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,273 Oh no, no, 238 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,309 no, you idiot. 239 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,012 Morning, Charlie. 240 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,280 Morning. 241 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,317 Should've smothered him in the crib 242 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,687 when I had the chance. 243 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,991 Boy, take one day off for a poker tournament 244 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,193 and you miss a whole lot around here. 245 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,730 You said you were sick. 246 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,732 I was healed. It's a miracle. 247 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,735 You want to catch me up? 248 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,871 Chelsea set Alan up on a blind date 249 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,906 with a girl she met at yoga class. 250 00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,708 Well, what's he doing with Rose? 251 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,609 She's the girl. 252 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,611 Oh. 253 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,814 Diabolical. 254 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,017 So Chelsea doesn't know... 255 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:19,920 Chelsea knows nothing and I want to keep it that way. 256 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,221 Okay. 257 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,923 Why is Alan playing along? 258 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,058 Because Alan is a horny idiot. 259 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,361 And horny idiots are perfectly willing 260 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,263 to have sex with crazy girls. 261 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,200 Yeah, I know. But I've grown. 262 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,137 Charlie, did you see? 263 00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,306 Yeah, I saw. 264 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,874 Told you they'd hit it off. 265 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:41,775 Didn't I tell you? 266 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,276 You told me. 267 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,613 I'm a little worried they're moving so fast. 268 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,582 Yeah, that's the worrisome part. 269 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,885 Berta, have you met Rose yet? 270 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,365 Screw it, I'm going home. 271 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,302 Feel better! 272 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,142 * Men. * 273 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,278 ALAN: Cut it out! 274 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,914 (giggling): Stop it. 275 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,154 Hello. 276 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,089 Sit down. 277 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,191 Um, you know I have company. 278 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,961 Yes, I know you have company, now, sit down! 279 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,766 Okay. 280 00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,442 'Sup? 281 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,447 Explain it to me, Alan. 282 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,715 Help me understand. 283 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,450 You mean Rose? 284 00:11:57,517 --> 00:12:00,087 No, I mean the internal combustion engine! 285 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,321 Yes, Rose! 286 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,959 Uh, well, we, uh, we started talking 287 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:09,429 on the ride home last night, and we really hit it off. 288 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,831 She has changed, Charlie. 289 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,366 Changed?! 290 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,802 She was stalking my fiancée. 291 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,904 Ah, ah, well, actually, she explained all that. 292 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,305 Really? Mm-hmm. 293 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,406 What did she say? 294 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,141 Uh, well, um... 295 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,843 Okay, I don't remember all the details 296 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,744 'cause she was tweaking my nipples at the time. 297 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,549 Oh... hi, Charlie. 298 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:33,286 All right, Rose, what are you up to? 299 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,454 What do you mean? 300 00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,623 I'm telling you right now, 301 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,426 I love Chelsea and if you mess things up with us, 302 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,994 I will never forgive you. 303 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,629 Wow. 304 00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,032 What did I ever do to deserve that? 305 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,468 You're kidding, right? 306 00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:49,837 Yeah. 307 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,642 So, once again, 308 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,677 what are you up to? 309 00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,513 Okay, at first, I was just doing 310 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,282 a little light recon on Chelsea 311 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,617 to make sure you weren't dating a whack job. 312 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:08,455 You thought Chelsea might be... 313 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,190 Go on. 314 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,425 Well, good news, she's not. 315 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,561 She's got a cousin who's a truck stop hooker 316 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,197 and her mom's an honorary Kleagle in the Ku Klux Klan, 317 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,732 but Chelsea is clean as a whistle. 318 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,334 Kleagle? 319 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,471 According to Wikipedia it's below Grand Dragon 320 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,540 and above Exalted Cyclops. 321 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,309 Sure, whatever. 322 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,512 What's the deal with the lunch lady here? 323 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,685 Alan? 324 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,388 Well, that was Chelsea's idea, not mine. 325 00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,556 I tried to get out of it. Really? 326 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,192 I'm sorry, sweetie, 327 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,627 but I thought a double date with Charlie and his fiancée 328 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,696 might be a little awkward. 329 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,199 A little awkward? 330 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,833 When I saw you sitting there, 331 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,268 my sphincter slammed shut so quickly, 332 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,604 you could've used it as a cigar cutter! 333 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,910 Yeah, you should've seen your face. 334 00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:07,814 Anyway, it all worked out for the best. 335 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,682 Last night, I saw a side of your brother 336 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,618 that I've never seen before. 337 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,886 What side? 338 00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,487 He's only got the two. 339 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,957 "Oh, no, here he comes" and "Oh good, he's leaving." 340 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,427 Look, Charlie, this has nothing to do 341 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,594 with you and Chelsea. 342 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,296 This has nothing to do with you and Rose. 343 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:26,133 The fact is, we really like each other 344 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,002 and we want to keep seeing each other. 345 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,172 And we'd really like your blessing. 346 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,774 So, you actually want to be with him? 347 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,309 I do. 348 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,712 And you believe she's got no ulterior motive whatsoever? 349 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,849 I do. 350 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,884 Fine. 351 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,220 I now pronounce you fruit basket and nutcase. 352 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,825 May God have mercy on your souls. 353 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,461 Yay! 354 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,664 Uh, I don't think that was really a blessing, Rose. 355 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,032 It doesn't matter. 356 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,733 So what are we doing this afternoon? 357 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,502 Oh, uh, gee, I gotta pick up Jake. 358 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,504 Um, I promised him I'd take him to the movies. 359 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,805 You know, a little father-son time. 360 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,374 Oh, that's sweet. 361 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,677 Well, just call me when you want to get together again. 362 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,379 Sure, or you can call me. 363 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:13,680 Okay. 364 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:22,489 (cell phone ringing) 365 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:31,999 Hello? 366 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,835 Oh, Jake, thank God. 367 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,005 Uh, nothing. 368 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,240 Wait, hang on, I got another call. 369 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:43,710 Hello? 370 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,612 Yes, Rose, this is my number. 371 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,216 * Men. * 372 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,817 So how did you like the movie? 373 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:54,421 It was an insult to my intelligence. 374 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,056 Really? 375 00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:59,259 Everybody knows zombies can't ride motorcycles. 376 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,061 Yeah, that bumped me, too. 377 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,962 And why would they wear helmets? 378 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:04,664 They're dead. 379 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:05,665 Another good point. 380 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,700 I don't know who they're 381 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,369 making movies for these days. 382 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,572 Fine, next time, you pick. 383 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,542 Anyway, there's something I want to talk to you about. 384 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,511 Oh, come on, it was one fart during the previews 385 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,513 and everybody laughed. 386 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,715 No, no, not that. 387 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,117 Uh, I just want you to know 388 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,785 that I've been dating somebody 389 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,020 and you might be meeting her soon. 390 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,921 Oh, okay, good. 391 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,523 So, you have no problem with that? 392 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,559 Not at all; you should have a girlfriend. 393 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,494 You think so? 394 00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,364 Yeah, the model car stuff is starting to freak me out. 395 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,101 I mean, seriously. 396 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,702 You're a grown man. 397 00:16:42,769 --> 00:16:44,671 (horn honking) 398 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,739 What the hell? 399 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:49,642 You didn't call me! 400 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,045 Hi, Rose. 401 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:00,120 So, tell me about your new girlfriend. 402 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,793 * Men. * 403 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,630 I'm so glad you forgave me for my little outburst in the car. 404 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:14,734 Well, you have a very compelling way of apologizing. 405 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:18,238 But we need to have a little talk about boundaries. 406 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:22,175 It was just my pinky, Alan. 407 00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,747 No, no, that was fun. 408 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,350 Is it about me following 409 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,018 you and Jake into the movie theater? 410 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,020 You followed us into the movie theater?! 411 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:37,424 No... 412 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:41,328 Look, Rose, I really like you 413 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,795 but you've got to realize 414 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,497 that people need their space. 415 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,965 And you need to respect that. 416 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,835 All right. 417 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,438 So, we're clear on that? 418 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,773 Yes. I'm sorry. 419 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,974 It won't happen again. 420 00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,478 Hm. Good. 421 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,013 Well, good night. 422 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,616 Good night. 423 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,659 Boy, this is an Alan Harper I haven't seen before. 424 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,127 Uh-huh. 425 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,864 Forceful, confident... 426 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,299 Thank you. 427 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:23,503 I don't like him very much. 428 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,708 * Men. * 429 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,649 Morning, Charlie. 430 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,650 Morning, Rose. 431 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:38,985 Alan needs his space. 432 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,253 I'm gonna give it to him. 433 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,988 Okay. Say hi to Chelsea for me. 434 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:45,158 Will do. 435 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,198 Oh, I got a bad feeling. 436 00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,672 Alan? 437 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,007 Yeah? 438 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,910 You okay? 439 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,213 Been better. 440 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,582 I'm coming in. 441 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,087 Hi. 442 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,956 Hi. 443 00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:17,924 Impressive. 444 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,960 It's not me. 445 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,895 No kidding. 446 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,264 What is it? 447 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:43,916 Oh, Burt Reynolds' Trans Am from Smokey and the Bandit. 448 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:47,487 Yep. 449 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,490 Would you care to explain why it's parked 450 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,092 in your handicapped spot? 451 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,161 Not parked. 452 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,829 Glued. 453 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:57,930 Ah. 454 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:58,998 Rose? 455 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,199 Rose. 456 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,168 Told ya. You did. 457 00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,971 But did you listen? Nope. 458 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,639 Okay. 459 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,807 Happy motoring. 460 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,948 * Here in my car 461 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:19,519 * I feel safest of all... 462 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,889 * Scooby Dooby Doo 463 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,291 * Where are you? 464 00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:27,494 * We got some work to do now 465 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,462 * Scooby Scooby Doo 466 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:30,930 * Where are you? 467 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,700 * We need some help from you now... * 468 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:37,770 I feel bad it didn't work out with Alan and Rose. 469 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,105 Me, too. 470 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,374 Terrible. 471 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,511 The problem is they jumped into bed too fast. 472 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,380 The problem is he doesn't keep his glue solvent 473 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,116 in his night stand. 474 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,418 What's that mean? 475 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,621 Another way of saying what you said. 476 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,190 ALAN: Ow! 477 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,226 Ah... 478 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,729 Oh... 479 00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,999 What's wrong with him? 480 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:23,816 Little car accident.