1 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,273 (glass tinging) 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:10,211 I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride-to-be. 3 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,913 Darling, I never thought I'd find love again. 4 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:17,818 I not only found it, but I found the love of my life. 5 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:19,019 To Evelyn. 6 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,854 (chorus of "Hear, hear") 7 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,724 (softly): That poor, clueless bastard. 8 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,162 Like watching a dog stick his face in a fan. 9 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,698 You don't do that more than once. 10 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,704 I am the lucky one in this relationship. 11 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,372 And I promise you, darling, 12 00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:43,411 I am going to be the best wife I possibly can. 13 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,445 To Teddy. 14 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,180 (chorus of "Hear, hear") To Teddy. 15 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,750 That poor, clueless bastard. 16 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,085 So can we go now? 17 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:52,353 No, we can't; it would be rude. 18 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,621 I don't mind being rude. 19 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,157 You just talking or you got a plan? 20 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:58,859 Well, if I eat enough shrimp, I can make myself puke. 21 00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,294 Then start eating. 22 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,096 All right, stop it, both of you. 23 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,564 There'll be no puking-- we're going to stay, 24 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,333 congratulate the happy couple, 25 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,835 mingle a bit and then I'm going to fake a migraine. 26 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,637 You can do that? 27 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,340 Hell yeah. I spent 12 years watching my wife 28 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,342 fake migraines and orgasms. 29 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,544 I'd go with the migraine. 30 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:19,513 Thanks for coming, fellas. 31 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,881 Means a lot to me. 32 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,416 Oh. Wouldn't miss it. 33 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,752 We wish you a lifetime of love and happiness. 34 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,254 Right, Charlie? 35 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,957 Well, yeah, but he seems hell bent on marrying Mom. 36 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:32,326 Hey, Daddy, sorry I'm late. 37 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,362 That's okay, Doodlebug. 38 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,029 I'm just glad you could make it. 39 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,398 (chuckles) 40 00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:41,435 Charlie, Alan, Jake, this is my daughter Courtney. 41 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,004 Honey, these are Evelyn's sons and grandson. 42 00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,406 I'm the grandson. 43 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,176 Ah, well, it's nice to finally meet you all. 44 00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,843 Nice to meet you, too. 45 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,579 So, Teddy, what's the deal? 46 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,982 All this time you've been hiding this beautiful woman from us? 47 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,851 Just from you, Charlie. 48 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,119 Fair enough. 49 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,088 Dad's a little overprotective. 50 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,590 I can see why. 51 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:06,059 Charlie, why don't you and I get Courtney a drink. 52 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,528 I'd like to get Courtney a house. 53 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,499 Walk with me. 54 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,100 How's your headache, Dad? 55 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,069 Not yet-- so... um... 56 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,506 Courtney, y-you have amazing posture. 57 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,541 Do you see a chiropractor? 58 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:21,675 No. 59 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:23,544 Would you like to? 60 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,746 Charlie I need you to do me a favor. 61 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,915 Anything for you, Teddy, name it. 62 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,350 Stay away from Courtney. 63 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:31,352 Name something else. 64 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,820 Charlie, this is import... 65 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,255 Don't worry. 66 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,390 I think too much of you to want to, you know, 67 00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,759 do what I want to do with your daughter. 68 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,428 I appreciate that. 69 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,763 Consider it a wedding present. Thanks. 70 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,898 No seriously, that's all you get. 71 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,370 Oh, Courtney dear, what a surprise to see you. 72 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,439 Well, I told you I was coming. 73 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,774 Yes, but the party started an hour ago, 74 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,510 so I just naturally assumed that something had come up 75 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,079 that was more important than your father's happiness. 76 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,481 (chuckles) 77 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,451 Well, Evelyn, you know what they say about assuming. 78 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:07,455 When you assume... you're just a bitch. 79 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,658 Courtney, there are children present. 80 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,726 She means me, but I'm fine with it. 81 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,528 Thank you, dear. 82 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,564 You should hear what they call her at home. 83 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,134 Have some shrimp. Oh, boy. 84 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,903 Well, great party, but we got to go. 85 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,538 Oh, already? 86 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,341 Yeah, we'd love to stay, but Alan's got a headache. 87 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,943 (softly): Not yet. 88 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:33,414 Not yet... debilitating, but I do need to lay down. 89 00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,483 Hey, uh, before you go, 90 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,352 my dad had mentioned that you like nice cars. 91 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,020 Yeah. I do, too. 92 00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:42,356 Swell. 93 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,691 Here's my card. 94 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,493 Maybe I can help you out someday. 95 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,861 Whoa. Ferraris? Lamborghinis? 96 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,298 They say driving one is the most fun you can have 97 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,199 with your pants on. 98 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:54,402 Huh. Well... 99 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:55,503 that's how I like to drive, 100 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,738 with my pants on. 101 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,973 Otherwise the leather kind of sticks to my thighs. 102 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,509 (laughs) 103 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,510 Well, you should come down sometime. 104 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,911 I'll give you a test drive. 105 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:07,214 Actually, I'm really not a Ferrari guy. 106 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,816 I'm not, either. 107 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,252 Bye-bye. 108 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,454 We really got to get our signals straight. 109 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,656 I mean, you just made me look stupid. 110 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,592 Don't blame your father for that. 111 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,194 I'm telling you right now, 112 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,564 I'm not having any more children. 113 00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,667 Terrific. 114 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:29,637 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 115 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:33,006 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * * Ooh 116 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,943 * Men, men, men, men, manly men * * Ooh * Ooh 117 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,245 * Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... * 118 00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,648 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 119 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,751 * Ooh * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 120 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:48,756 * Ah. * Men. * Men. 121 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,865 (phone rings) 122 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,001 Hello. 123 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,503 No, it's Alan. 124 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,138 Oh. Oh, hi, Courtney. 125 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:08,842 Well, it was very nice meeting you last night too. 126 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,478 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. 127 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,713 I had no idea that you were planning on using 128 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:16,083 a fake migraine to get out early. 129 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,052 So, uh, so what did you do? 130 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,822 Ooh, menstrual cramps. 131 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,525 Yeah, I can't get away with that. 132 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:29,497 Although sometimes, I'll use irritable bowel syndrome, and... 133 00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,832 Okay, I'll get Charlie. 134 00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,769 It's Teddy's daughter; she wants to talk to you. 135 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,104 Really? 136 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,939 But you promised Teddy you'd stay away from her. 137 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,941 Hey, I didn't tell her to call me. 138 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,877 What kind of man would hit on his future stepsister? 139 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,047 You're just making it hotter for him. 140 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,351 Give me the phone. Give me the phone. 141 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,822 Hi, Courtney, what's up? 142 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,890 Uh... that's nice, 143 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,427 but I told you I'm really not into Ferraris. 144 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,429 A Bentley? 145 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,564 Well, that's a little more my style. 146 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,535 Okay, I guess I could come by and take a peek at it. 147 00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,703 First a peek, then a poke. 148 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,778 Uncalled for. 149 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,916 2:00? Great, I'll see you then. 150 00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,924 I swear, this is just business. 151 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:34,127 I'm going to look at a Bentley she got in on trade. 152 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,597 I can get it for dealer cost. 153 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:37,798 Since when do you need a Bentley? 154 00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:40,033 Nobody needs a Bentley, Alan. 155 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,970 Just like nobody needs to date a woman half their age. 156 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,739 But if you want one, it doesn't hurt to have the other. 157 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,245 Did Teddy tell you to stay away from his daughter, too? 158 00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:55,649 No. Yeah, why would he? 159 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,824 * Men... 160 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,062 Pretty hot, isn't it? 161 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,165 Oh, yeah, but it's... it's not really my thing. 162 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,302 Gee, I think a guy like you would look pretty great in one of these. 163 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,737 You think? Absolutely. 164 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,372 Here. Slide on into it. 165 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,743 See how it feels. 166 00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:24,812 What about the Bentley? 167 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,347 I got the guys in back washing it up for you. 168 00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,415 We have a few minutes. 169 00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:30,317 Ah, sure. Why not? 170 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,820 That's always been my motto. 171 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,592 Oh, pretty snug. 172 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,461 Tight's good, don't you think? 173 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,298 (sighs) 174 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:48,502 Sure, tight's good. 175 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,840 Oh, hi. 176 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,775 Hi. 177 00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:56,610 So, where do they put the engine in these things? 178 00:07:56,677 --> 00:08:01,782 They put it where it belongs... in the rear. 179 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,489 Huh. 180 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,225 So, no stick? 181 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,594 No, you shift from the wheel. 182 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,495 Let me show you. 183 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:18,298 Left side down, right side up. 184 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,400 You don't need a stick. 185 00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:24,071 And yet I've got one anyway. 186 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,276 (vibrating) 187 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,078 Is that your cell phone? 188 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,279 Boy, I hope so. 189 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,083 Excuse me. 190 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,718 Hello. 191 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,153 (chuckling): Oh, hey, hey, Teddy. 192 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,122 How are ya? 193 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,157 Good. 194 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,359 Me? I'm-I'm-I'm fine. 195 00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:49,730 Just running some errands. 196 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,732 Yeah, I'll be around tomorrow. 197 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,634 Dr-Drop by any time. 198 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,235 Great. I'll see you then. 199 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,604 (chuckles) 200 00:08:56,670 --> 00:09:00,608 Th-That was your dad. 201 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,110 He wants to talk to me and Alan about something. 202 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,778 I heard. 203 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,346 Has he ever said anything about me? 204 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,715 You? 205 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,082 Uh, let me think. 206 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,752 He told you to stay away from me, didn't he? 207 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,353 Oh, yeah, there was that. 208 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,656 (sighs) 209 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,125 I can't believe he's still trying to control my life. 210 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,993 Hey, your dad loves you. 211 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,629 He's just trying to protect you from... 212 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,164 well, in this case, me. 213 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:27,735 I'm a big girl, Charlie. 214 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,336 I can take care of myself. 215 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,771 I'm sure you can. 216 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:36,376 I can also take care of whoever I choose to be with. 217 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,012 I'm sure you can. 218 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,888 Listen, uh, I appreciate the offer, 219 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,290 but I think I'm gonna pass... 220 00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,726 on the Bentley. 221 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,696 But you haven't even seen it yet. 222 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:59,099 And right now, it's all wet and soapy, 223 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,101 just waiting for you. 224 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,244 Are we still talking about a car? 225 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,815 What do you think? 226 00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:16,684 I think I should probably get out 227 00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,351 before I set off the air bag. 228 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,724 * Men... 229 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,426 And then, she leaned over real close 230 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,596 to play with the "paddles." 231 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:30,831 The what? 232 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,533 Paddle shifters on the steering wheel. 233 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,836 Oh, oh. 234 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,338 I had another picture entirely. 235 00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,475 But I restrained myself. 236 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,779 I walked away, and now I can still look Teddy in the eye. 237 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,280 That's... that's great, 238 00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:50,250 but how come you have no problem looking me in the eye 239 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,853 after sleeping with my wife's sister, my son's teacher, 240 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,789 my divorce lawyer and my old receptionist? 241 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,726 I like Teddy. 242 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,496 And the receptionist was your fault. 243 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,732 How? 244 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,867 If you'd paid her a decent salary, 245 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,002 she wouldn't have had to hook. 246 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,876 I brought the Bentley. 247 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,846 Come on, Courtney, I told you I can't. 248 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,014 Just one little test drive. 249 00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,150 What do you have to lose? 250 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,886 Well, there's my integrity, my self respect, 251 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,620 my relationship with your father... 252 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,189 Give me the damn keys. 253 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,792 * Men * 254 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,964 Is your brother still in bed with his sister? 255 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,773 Stepsister. 256 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,208 To be. 257 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,542 And yes. 258 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,312 Wow, how long has it been? 259 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,715 About 18 hours. 260 00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,351 Good thing he's got supplies up there. 261 00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:00,420 He does? 262 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:01,789 Sure. 263 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:05,192 Water, PowerBars, fresh batteries, rope. 264 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,228 Oh, like, uh, like an earthquake kit. 265 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,163 Huh. 266 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:13,000 I guess you could use that stuff for earthquakes. 267 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,172 (doorbell chimes) 268 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,511 Oh, crap. 269 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,448 Misdirected anger. 270 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,483 You'll get used to it. 271 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,185 What are you guys doing here? 272 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,254 We came here to talk with you and Charlie. 273 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:34,788 Didn't he tell you? 274 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,056 No, he did not. 275 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,590 In fact, he never tells me anything. 276 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:40,060 I don't know half of what he does, nor do I want to. 277 00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,829 It's his life and he alone should suffer the consequences. 278 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,030 Come on in. 279 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,467 Is he even home? 280 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,735 Uh, I'll check. 281 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,570 Why don't you make yourselves comfortable 282 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:54,141 and, uh... I'll check. 283 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:58,278 'Cause I have no idea. 284 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,182 So... I'll need to check. 285 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,689 Is he on something? 286 00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,424 Oh, if only. 287 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,330 What? 288 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,000 Teddy and Mom are downstairs. 289 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,768 You're kidding. What the hell are they doing here? 290 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,270 Apparently, you invited them. 291 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,404 I did not. 292 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,673 Yes, you did. On the phone, remember? Hey, Alan. 293 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,708 Hey, Courtney. How you doing? Charlie, they're waiting. 294 00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:31,845 Yeah, we've got a problem here. 295 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,313 No, no, no, sir, you've got a problem. 296 00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,248 I made no promise, I broke no promise. 297 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,516 You actually made a promise? 298 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,651 Yeah. And I really tried to keep it. 299 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:39,887 He did. 300 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,354 I could sense his inner conflict 301 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:44,524 as we were doing it in the backseat of the Bentley. 302 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:49,529 Okay, look, just stall them. I'll be right down. 303 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,763 Fine, but know this, Charlie. 304 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,599 I am not taking the fall for you. 305 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,934 How could you take the fall for me? 306 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,203 I don't know, but it always seems to work out 307 00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,605 that when you get laid, I get screwed. 308 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:01,608 Just go. 309 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:03,843 Great. 310 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,844 Just great. 311 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,446 Hey, have you seen my dress? 312 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,780 Why? 313 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,616 Well, I ain't going down like this. 314 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,619 You're not going down at all. 315 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,421 Why not? 316 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:16,389 I have nothing to be ashamed of. 317 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,757 Here. 318 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,127 Hit rewind, I'm sure you'll find something. 319 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,035 I just can't believe he's still in bed. 320 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,602 He's a drunk, Mom. That's what they do. 321 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,172 Oh, come on, Evelyn, give the kid a break. 322 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,908 He was probably out late last night sowing some wild oats. 323 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,709 He's 40 years old. 324 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,278 He was no more wild oats, 325 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,681 just warmed over Cream of Wheat. 326 00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,484 Hey, hey. Look who's here. 327 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,320 Well, thanks for interrupting your stupor and joining us. 328 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,622 Oh, I can get back to my stupor any time. 329 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:50,790 So, what's going on? 330 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,125 Well, your mother and I 331 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,826 wanted to talk to you about the wedding. 332 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,163 You've got my blessing. What else? 333 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,266 We wondered if you would mind having the ceremony here. 334 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,768 Sure, terrific-- on the deck, in here, on the beach, 335 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:02,936 wherever you want-- what else? 336 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,438 Don't you want to think about it? 337 00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,074 Who wants to think about it? It's perfect. 338 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,241 Have the ceremony, the reception... 339 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:09,909 Hell, Alan and I will clear out 340 00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,945 and you can use this place for your honeymoon. 341 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,413 Trust me, it's all broken in. 342 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,948 The house, not Mom. 343 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,386 (loud rock music playing) 344 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,790 Do you have one of your little pop tarts up there? 345 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,126 No, no. Just my alarm. 346 00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,328 If I'm not up by 4:00 in the afternoon, 347 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,130 I feel like I've wasted the whole day. 348 00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,732 Be right back. 349 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,136 (music blaring) 350 00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:37,404 (music stops) 351 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,705 What do you think you're doing? 352 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,839 I'm bored. 353 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,141 You're bored? 354 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,076 Yeah, I want to go downstairs. 355 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,045 No, no, no. No, no. You can't go downstairs. 356 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,313 Find something else to do. 357 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,349 Well, I'd love to sell you a car. 358 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,218 (scoffs) 359 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,685 Yeah, very funny. 360 00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:53,786 (chuckles) 361 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,355 No, I'm serious. 362 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:58,658 You want to sell me a car now? 363 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:02,495 Or I could... go downstairs. 364 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,330 You wouldn't. 365 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:06,766 (chuckles): I would. 366 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:08,535 Wait a minute. 367 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,403 You planned this. 368 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,539 You knew they were coming over today. 369 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,974 Well, a good salesman pays attention. 370 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:16,476 Now, if you'll excuse me... 371 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,511 Okay, okay, okay, you win. 372 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,447 Give me a price on the Bentley. 373 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,182 Actually, the Bentley's no longer available. 374 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,283 I'm thinking the Ferrari. 375 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,453 I don't want a Ferrari. 376 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,288 And I don't want to stay up here. 377 00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,457 EVELYN: Charlie, we're waiting! 378 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,858 Coming! 379 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,493 Okay, fine. 380 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:38,131 But let me just say, this is no way to treat family. 381 00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:42,769 Here we go, blue eyes. 382 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,037 I made it myself. 383 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,072 Ah, thank you. 384 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:46,206 Nothing for me, thanks. 385 00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:49,676 I don't recall offering. 386 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,844 Sorry, sorry. 387 00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,214 So, wedding on the beach. 388 00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,116 Great. I'll take care of everything. 389 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,284 Thanks for stopping by. 390 00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,786 Well, there is one more thing. 391 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,787 Name it. 392 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,389 Well... Excuse me. 393 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,558 Uh, Berta, this is a family matter. 394 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,330 If you only knew. 395 00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,433 Here's the deal. 396 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,868 I've never had any sons of my own. 397 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,237 Just the one daughter. 398 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,871 And she's great. Isn't she great, Alan? 399 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:20,173 Well, I hardly met her. 400 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,075 Me neither, but I'm sure she's great. 401 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,543 She's terrific. 402 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,546 But, uh, I've grown very fond of the two of you 403 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:29,015 and I'd like to ask you to stand up with me 404 00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,650 when I marry your mother. 405 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:34,154 Wow, uh, Teddy, that's, that's quite an honor. 406 00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:37,357 Yeah, uh, I'm really touched. 407 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,892 (rock music playing) 408 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,595 Snooze button. 409 00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,597 I must have hit the snooze button. 410 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,166 Excuse me. 411 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:50,337 I don't use the snooze button. 412 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,172 When I'm up, I'm up. 413 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,508 Of course, I'm not a drunk. 414 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,846 (music blaring) 415 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:00,747 (music stops) 416 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,249 Are you out of your mind? 417 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:06,319 I prefer to think of myself as a "go-getter." 418 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,188 All right, now you're gonna want to sign here, 419 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,690 here, here and initial where the little flags are. 420 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,193 This is twice as much as the Bentley. 421 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,694 I can't afford this. 422 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,863 Well, if you need help with the down payment, 423 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,666 I'm sure I could ask my dad to help you out. 424 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:22,202 He really loves you. 425 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,441 Fine. 426 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,842 Here. 427 00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:31,010 And here. 428 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:32,912 And here. And here. 429 00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:33,980 And here. 430 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,515 What's this? 431 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,583 Oh, that's the extended warranty. 432 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,084 Just a little extra protection. 433 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:41,654 I think it's a bit late for that. 434 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,924 Congratulations. You now own a Ferrari. 435 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,126 Yippee. 436 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,562 Uh, Charlie? 437 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,931 What now? 438 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,901 I'm gonna need a check. 439 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:01,808 You know... 440 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,144 this is the most I've ever spent for sex. 441 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,182 But not by much. 442 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:13,453 * Men * 443 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,592 Charlie, the wedding isn't for six months. 444 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,362 Yeah, but it's bad luck to see the bride beforehand. 445 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,830 Well, thanks again, fellas. 446 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,433 You being part of this shindig means a lot to me. 447 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,401 Our pleasure, Teddy. Bye-bye. 448 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,104 Congratulations. 449 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,606 Once again you get off scott free. 450 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,108 Free? You think that was free? 451 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,877 Uh, Charlie? 452 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:38,878 Yeah-yeah! Hi. 453 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,280 I just wanted you to know, 454 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,648 I'm not going to say anything to your mother 455 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,550 about you and Courtney-- they don't get along. 456 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,485 Okay, great. Wait, wait, wait. 457 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,720 You knew? How did you know? 458 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,322 Well, I just noticed the car outside 459 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,823 with her dealer plates on it. 460 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,193 You couldn't have noticed that on the way in? 461 00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,663 How much did she take you for? 462 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,197 Don't ask. 463 00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,199 Well, you can't say I didn't warn you. 464 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,201 Wait, wait, wait. 465 00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,904 So you were trying to protect me? 466 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,939 Hey, you're a good kid. 467 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,242 And Courtney, well, I love her, 468 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,845 but she is kind of a sociopath. 469 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,581 Bye now. 470 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:19,886 You know what this means, don't you? 471 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,153 What? 472 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,291 I'm gonna need an eight-car garage.