1 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:09,077 (shouting): Want to hear a great band? 2 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,312 Sure. 3 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,247 They're called Bucket of Hate. 4 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,118 (rock music blaring) 5 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,158 Oh! 6 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:28,862 What do you think? 7 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,465 Nice... 8 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:32,566 beat. 9 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,137 Oh, oh, my goodness! 10 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,738 Quite a mouth on this fella. 11 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,708 Guess that's why they're not called 12 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,976 Bucket of Bunnies, huh? 13 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,612 Who's he listening to? 14 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:45,946 Bucket of Hate. 15 00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,548 They're good. Reminds me of early Who. 16 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,782 Who? Yeah. 17 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:49,783 What? Band's called Who. 18 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:50,951 Bucket of Hate. 19 00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,121 (sighs) 20 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:57,191 And I work for your family. 21 00:00:58,426 --> 00:00:59,693 Boy... 22 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,664 I never knew there were so many rhymes for "suicide." 23 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,499 Yeah, what's patricide? 24 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,337 It means to honor thy father. 25 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,340 Oh, well, then that song doesn't make sense. 26 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,242 Yeah, well, I'm still trying to figure out 27 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:17,211 what a su-su-sudio is. 28 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:19,280 So, BOH is playing 29 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:22,015 at the Santa Monica Civic Center next weekend. 30 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,016 Cool. 31 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,185 My friend Seth Friedman 32 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:25,853 got tickets-- can I go? 33 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:26,954 How are you gonna get there? 34 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,122 Car. 35 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,559 Thank you. 36 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,627 Whose car? 37 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,496 Seth's brother. 38 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,831 He's 17 and he's never been in an accident that was his fault. 39 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,470 I don't think so. 40 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:43,604 Why not? 41 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,105 Why don't I think it's appropriate 42 00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:47,040 for a 13-year-old to go to a rock concert 43 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:47,975 with no adult supervision? 44 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,977 I told you, Rocco's 17. 45 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,147 His name is Rocco? Yeah. 46 00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:56,384 So... "Rocco Friedman"? 47 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,918 Yeah, You know him? 48 00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:01,088 No, but I'm not letting someone named "Rocco Friedman" 49 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,057 drive you to a Bucket of Hate concert. 50 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,126 That's it? Just no? 51 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,429 Oh, I'm sorry. No way in hell. 52 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,864 Oh, man. 53 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,633 What's going on? 54 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,768 My dad sucks! 55 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:18,539 You know, in certain primitive cultures 56 00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:19,873 when a boy hits puberty, they tie him 57 00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,610 to a big rock and throw him in the ocean. 58 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,111 No, they don't. 59 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,247 Okay, but you can't argue with the logic. 60 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,616 No, I can't. 61 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,851 Here-- your girlfriend's in the paper. 62 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,119 Really? What for? 63 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,521 She's being honored 64 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,724 by the Southern California Trial Lawyers Association. 65 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,726 Huh. 66 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,194 Judge of the Year. 67 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,629 Yeah, I guess it's time 68 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,964 to get out the old tux for the banquet, huh? 69 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,699 What banquet? 70 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:48,202 The one at the Beverly Hilton next Saturday. 71 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,504 Oh, right. 72 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,974 Yeah, I don't think I'm going to that. 73 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,443 Why not? 74 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,646 Well, you know, I hate the whole dog and pony show. 75 00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,448 Getting dressed up, boring speeches, rubber chicken... 76 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,982 She didn't invite you, did she? 77 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:04,752 Didn't even mention it. 78 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,320 Huh. 79 00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:08,922 That's got to sting. 80 00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:12,293 You know, I agree with Jake. 81 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,727 You do suck. 82 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,998 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 83 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:21,335 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * * Ooh 84 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,438 * Men, men, men, men, manly men * * Ooh * Ooh 85 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,340 * Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... * 86 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,942 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 87 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,212 * Ooh * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 88 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:36,850 * Ah. * Men. * Men. 89 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:51,632 Mm, God, Charlie, you are great. 90 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:55,202 Aw, no. 91 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,404 I'm serious. 92 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,407 You are the best lover I've ever had. 93 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,842 It's probably just the flawless technique 94 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,243 and the big penis. 95 00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,178 (both laughing) 96 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,381 Probably. 97 00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:11,184 I was wondering-- you got any plans next Saturday? 98 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,287 Next Saturday? 99 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,123 Oh, as a matter of fact I do. 100 00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,125 Oh, what might they be? 101 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,927 The plans? 102 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,762 Just some business thing. 103 00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:22,663 Very boring. 104 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,865 Business? Yeah. Business. 105 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,235 Might this be the business you're speaking of? 106 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,538 Dilbert? 107 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,707 This? 108 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,943 Oh, that. 109 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,277 Oh, um, I can explain. 110 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,946 I would love an explanation. 111 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,350 Well, I just thought it wouldn't be your kind of thing. 112 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,852 You know, it's just judges, lawyers, local politicians. 113 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,520 Are you going with somebody else? 114 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,721 No. 115 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,623 So you'd rather go alone than take me? 116 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:52,826 Um, I know it seems that way... 117 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,796 You're ashamed of me, aren't you? 118 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:56,864 Oh, no, Charlie. 119 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,799 I mean, sure you can use me for sex, 120 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,768 but God forbid we're out in public together. 121 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,403 That is not true. 122 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,737 And let me remind you-- 123 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,773 it's the best sex you've ever had. 124 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,409 Charlie... Your words, not mine. 125 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:10,911 Look, the last thing in the world I want to do 126 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,245 is hurt your feelings. 127 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,847 Well, you have. 128 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:22,423 Would you like to go with me to the banquet? 129 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,992 No, I don't want to go where I'm not wanted. 130 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,027 What do you want me to do, beg? 131 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,696 A little, yeah. 132 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,435 Please come with me to the banquet. 133 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,104 A little more. 134 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:41,008 Pretty please. 135 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,911 Come with me. 136 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,514 All right... 137 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:50,050 but then we gotta talk about this banquet thing. 138 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,589 * Men. 139 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,491 Jake, do you want Grandmommy 140 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,460 to teach you how to use chopsticks? 141 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:00,528 Don't confuse him. 142 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,496 He just learned how to use a fork. 143 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:05,933 Real funny, Alan. 144 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,172 Alan? What happened to Dad? 145 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,508 He turned into Benito Mussoroni. 146 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,812 The San Francisco treat? 147 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,382 It's Mussolini, Professor. 148 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:25,252 He's just upset because I won't let him go to a concert tonight. 149 00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,587 Why not? 150 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,522 Because there's no adult supervision. 151 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,257 Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy, Alan. 152 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,825 He's a teenager. 153 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,027 Teenagers don't go to concerts with their parents. 154 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,464 I'm with Evelyn on this. 155 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,365 Forget it. 156 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:39,900 You're not going to the concert. 157 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:40,934 Oh, listen to you. 158 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,369 Remember when I said you couldn't go 159 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:43,471 to that Peter Frampton concert? 160 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,638 You just snuck out 161 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,106 of the house and went anyway. 162 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,340 Really? 163 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,408 Mom, no. 164 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,611 I was in Martinique at the time, 165 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:53,080 but the housekeeper was beside herself. 166 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,851 And-And-And I was severely punished for that, right? 167 00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:01,655 Oh, sure, I tried grounding you and taking away TV privileges. 168 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,224 But at a certain point every parent has to accept 169 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,559 that they're powerless 170 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,294 when it comes to controlling a teenager. 171 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,662 Really? 172 00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,464 No, no, not really. 173 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,332 Parents are powerful-- very powerful. 174 00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:14,401 (snorts in derision) 175 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:17,004 No, no... (snorting) 176 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,941 Trust me, I'm only doing this for your own good. 177 00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:23,644 (hissing snort) 178 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:28,482 What the hell was that? 179 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,317 The same thing Grandma did. 180 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,920 No, it's not. You sound like you're coughing up a furball. 181 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:36,757 Yeah, well, I'm making the same point. 182 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,096 Did it even occur to you that you could help me with this? 183 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:46,667 I was not put on this Earth to help you, Alan. 184 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,838 You're my mother! 185 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:54,975 Yes, and as you never tire of pointing out, not a good one. 186 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,378 Hey, Alan, do we have any snack bars? 187 00:07:58,445 --> 00:07:59,880 Right-hand cabinet. Why? 188 00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:02,683 I need something to soak up the booze 189 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,285 I'll have to drink to make it through this dinner. 190 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,820 What's the occasion? 191 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,189 My girlfriend is being honored at a banquet tonight. 192 00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:12,593 Oh, I thought the Adult Film Awards were in Vegas. 193 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:16,429 She happens to be a judge. 194 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,566 Of the Adult Film Awards? 195 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:23,070 No, no, a judge in the Los Angeles Municipal Court. 196 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,972 So, do I look okay? 197 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,607 It's a tuxedo. You can't go wrong. 198 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:27,908 Well, I want to fit in. 199 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,577 This is a very conservative crowd. 200 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,712 Oh, well, then you can go wrong. 201 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:34,047 Thanks. Like I'm not nervous enough? 202 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,217 Oh, sweetheart, if you're nervous, just try one of these. 203 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:38,518 It'll relax you. 204 00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,220 Oh, perfect. 205 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,056 Charlie, you just can't pop a pill without knowing what it is. 206 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,694 She just said what it is. Thanks, Mom. I gotta go. 207 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,063 Bye, sweetheart. Have a good time with your judge, darling. 208 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,064 (snorts in derision) 209 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,232 That'll last. 210 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,103 I think he's really trying on this one. 211 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:01,408 Uh-oh. 212 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,276 What? 213 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,012 Nothing. 214 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,316 I guess I'll just have to watch my DVD of Fantasia 215 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,551 on the natch tonight. 216 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,092 Congratulations, Your Honor. 217 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:19,860 Well-deserved. 218 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,361 Oh, thank you, Councilman. 219 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,530 I'd like you to meet my friend Charlie Harper. 220 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:27,567 Charlie, this is Councilman Stewart. 221 00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:30,638 Charlie? 222 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,406 Yeah, hi. How are ya? 223 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,275 Again, congratulations. 224 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,344 Thanks. 225 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,182 Charlie, are you okay? 226 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,584 I'm wonderful. 227 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:48,455 Look at all the colors. 228 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:52,993 It's like I'm drinking a rainbow. 229 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,806 Hang on. He's probably in his room. 230 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:08,141 Jake, your mom's on the phone! 231 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:11,979 Jake? 232 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,085 Jake? 233 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,462 Son of a bitch! 234 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:30,664 Are you all right? 235 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,299 What? 236 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:35,368 Oh. I, uh, I stubbed my toe. 237 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,338 Yeah. Yeah, it may be broken. 238 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,907 Um... 239 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,510 Yeah. I'm, a, I'm gonna go to the emergency room. 240 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:46,847 Oh, no, no, no. I, uh, I have to take Jake with me. 241 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:51,118 So we can go in the carpool lane. 242 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,020 Jake, help daddy find his toenail. 243 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,155 I'll have him call you later, okay? 244 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,065 So, without further ado, 245 00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:06,767 here's our guest of honor, 246 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,268 judge of the year 247 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,871 and, I'm proud to say, my good friend, 248 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,072 Judge Linda Harris! 249 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,073 Yeah! 250 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,412 (whistles) 251 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,015 Who the judge? You the judge! 252 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,720 I'm hitting at it. 253 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,723 * Men. 254 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:36,529 * Two hours of pushing broom 255 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,767 * To pay for a four-bit room 256 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:43,937 * I'm a man of means, by no means... * 257 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,742 * King of the road. 258 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,379 Los Angeles! Thank you! 259 00:11:56,884 --> 00:11:58,819 Hey, look who's here. 260 00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,453 Shh! Keep it down! 261 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,422 Right. We don't want to wake me. 262 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,794 What are you doing sitting out here? 263 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,896 I can't stand up. 264 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,564 Don't make a thing out of it. 265 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,700 What are you doing? 266 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,668 I snuck out to see a concert. 267 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,405 No way. 268 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:24,444 That is so cool. 269 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:26,579 Okay. 270 00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,316 Third time's the charm. 271 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,183 Hey. 272 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,485 Want to know what else is cool? 273 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,353 Check this out. 274 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,088 (coins jingling) 275 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,624 * Just hear the sleigh bells ringing, ring-ting-tingling... * 276 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:38,859 Shh! Hey! Hey! 277 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,360 I'm caroling here. 278 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,529 You should be bringing me cocoa and gingerbread. 279 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,264 Cocoa and gingerbread? 280 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,334 Yeah, they work at the Screaming Rhino. 281 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,403 But.. 282 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,840 I digress. 283 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,474 Where were we? 284 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,177 My dad doesn't know I went out, so now I have to sneak back in. 285 00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,880 Oh. Well, then, you certainly don't want 286 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,449 to go through this door. 287 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,583 Why not? 288 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,818 Why not? 289 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,253 I'll tell you why not. 290 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,727 What? 291 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,529 Why not? 292 00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,832 Why not what? 293 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,633 Why can't I go through that door? 294 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,703 Oh. Why didn't you say so? 295 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,673 If I know your dad... 296 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,109 and, sadly, I do, 297 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,044 he's sitting in there right now 298 00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,546 just waiting to tie you to a rock 299 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,383 and throw you in the ocean. 300 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,584 What? 301 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,888 Sorry. I may have put the idea in his head. 302 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:44,191 Follow me. 303 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,526 Where are we going? 304 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,828 Hey! I'll ask the questions. 305 00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:53,033 Where are we going? 306 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,608 I'm okay. 307 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,077 Here. 308 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:08,115 Grab my what-do- you-call-it. Hand. 309 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,051 CHARLIE: I'm okay. 310 00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,586 That's good, but you're sitting on my head. 311 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,829 Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? 312 00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,632 I do not. 313 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,934 Do you have any idea 314 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,502 how beautiful you look in that light? 315 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,204 I'm not talking to you. 316 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,873 Well, I'm not talking to you either. 317 00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,575 Except for right now. 318 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,177 This is me talking to you. 319 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:41,048 But, no longer. (cheek pops) 320 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,951 Would you please just... go to sleep. 321 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,318 Okey-dokey. 322 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,489 You and I have some talking to do. 323 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,425 Will you make up your freaking mind. 324 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,229 * Men. 325 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,068 Morning. 326 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,538 What, you're not talking to me now? 327 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,607 I looked up "patricide." 328 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,345 Really. 329 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,981 When did you learn to spell? 330 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,950 I sounded it out. 331 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,187 Patricide, huh? 332 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,355 Our little boy's growing up. 333 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,324 He's just upset 'cause he snuck out 334 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,494 so I grounded him for three months. 335 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,962 Ooh, that'll show him. 336 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,697 What am I gonna do, Berta? I can't hit him. 337 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,099 Well, sure you can. 338 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,935 You just gotta figure the wind, and lead him. 339 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,439 They're like pheasants. 340 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,342 Very funny. 341 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,510 Uh-oh. 342 00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,145 What? 343 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,015 Charlie's gonna want to see this. 344 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,549 No, he's not. 345 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,886 Charlie? 346 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,022 Wake up. 347 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,289 You need to see this. 348 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:59,326 Can I throw up in it? 349 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:00,360 No. 350 00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,096 Then I don't need to see it. 351 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:05,398 Charlie, do you remember what you did last night? 352 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,838 Oh, damn it. 353 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,673 Did I get married? 354 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:16,709 Hardly. 355 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,689 No. I just know she's gonna find a way 356 00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,724 to make this my fault. 357 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:36,863 * Men. 358 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,765 You climbed out the window? 359 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,001 And got into a car driven by a 17-year-old boy. 360 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,436 It wasn't a car, Dad. 361 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,972 It was an extremely safe monster truck. 362 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,874 I mean, even if Rocco hit another car, 363 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,342 he'd just crush it. 364 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,511 The point is, you disobeyed your father. 365 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,913 That doesn't mean I have to get grounded for three months. 366 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,583 Hey, in my opinion, your punishment isn't severe enough. 367 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:57,550 Your mother's right. 368 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,552 How come nobody ever asks my opinion? 369 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:03,623 Go to your room and we'll talk to you later. 370 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,926 Hey, thanks for backing me up here, Judith. 371 00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,395 Now that he's a teenager, 372 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,430 we really need to stick together in order to... 373 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,332 You don't have a brain in your head, do you? 374 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,167 You have to watch teenagers, Alan. 375 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,569 You can't just expect that they'll listen and obey. 376 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,238 God, you're useless. 377 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,724 Here, let me give you a hand. 378 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:42,262 Really? Yeah. 379 00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,330 Now, come with me. 380 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,631 Where are we going? 381 00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,266 You're going back to your room. 382 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:50,503 And I am going to the sweet land of vindication. 383 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,638 Oh, Judith? 384 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:55,475 * Men. 385 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,844 (knocking) 386 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,512 Yes? 387 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,114 Hey. 388 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,383 What are you doing here? 389 00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,119 I came to apologize. 390 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,255 I am sorry about last night. 391 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,022 You're sorry? 392 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,260 For ruining one of the most important nights of my career? 393 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,962 For embarrassing me within an inch of my life. 394 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,197 Ooh... yeah. 395 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:19,199 I mean, unless I did something else. 396 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:22,101 No, you did quite enough, thank you. 397 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,404 Look, I understand why you're mad, 398 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,938 but it really wasn't my fault. 399 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:28,808 I was nervous about last night, so my mother gave me 400 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,943 what I assumed was one of her tranquilizers. 401 00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,313 But now I'm thinking it was a little something 402 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,415 she had left over from Woodstock. 403 00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:37,750 Charlie. 404 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,085 Look. 405 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:42,088 You're a lot of fun and, and I like you, 406 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,390 but people are talking about me running 407 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,991 for state senate next year. 408 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:49,296 and I can't afford to be linked publicly to someone like you. 409 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,763 Well, that's not a problem. 410 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,566 We'll just sneak around and link privately. 411 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,067 No, Charlie. 412 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,369 Oh, come on. All the guy politicians 413 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,637 have something on the side. 414 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,172 Why shouldn't you? 415 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,879 Take care. 416 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:16,256 It would send a powerful message to young women everywhere. 417 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:18,225 Bailiff! 418 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,592 I'm going. 419 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,695 * Men. 420 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,105 Pretty flowers. 421 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,941 Thanks. 422 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:38,345 Want to stick them in something? 423 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:45,785 Never mind. 424 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,490 I thought I was up to it, Alan. 425 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,960 I thought I was ready for a real relationship, 426 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:56,596 and Linda and I would be a team. 427 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,530 I'd stand by her 428 00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,899 as an accomplished woman and a judge 429 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,336 and she'd stand by me as a... 430 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,438 Reformed whoremonger? 431 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,875 So you believe I was trying. 432 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,109 I do. 433 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,578 And you know what? Someday you'll look back 434 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,646 on this as a growing experience. 435 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,615 Maybe. 436 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:16,649 Someday. 437 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,285 (doorbell rings) 438 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,287 Oh, who could that be? 439 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:23,055 I ordered some takeout. 440 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,724 Ah, nice, Italian? 441 00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,693 Nope. 442 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:27,694 Hi. 443 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:28,328 Are you Charlie? 444 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,530 Yeah, come on in. 445 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:31,531 Greek. 446 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,768 Be patient with me. 447 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:40,273 I'm coming off a bad breakup. 448 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,974 And, as usual, 449 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:42,809 Alan gets chicken pot pie.