1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:04,472 You're welcome. 2 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:09,210 Good night. 3 00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:10,744 Wait, wait, wait. 4 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,247 Are you sure you don't want me to tuck you in? 5 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:16,450 I don't need to be tucked, Charlie. 6 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,618 Oh, come on, 7 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,288 everybody needs a good tucking once in a while. 8 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:23,691 Well, then go tuck yourself. 9 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,793 I guess I'll have to. 10 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,064 I'm not saying no, 11 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,066 I'm just saying not now. 12 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,867 I understand. 13 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:34,835 Good night. 14 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:37,037 Good night. 15 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,409 How about now? 16 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:44,212 Funny. 17 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,216 I wasn't going for a laugh. 18 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,088 Come on, Luther. 19 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,658 Rose? 20 00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,962 Nah, couldn't be. 21 00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:06,167 I'm so backed up I'm literally cockeyed. 22 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,511 Hot girl at 12:00. 23 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,516 Where? 24 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,352 Over there. 25 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:29,523 That would be 9:00. 26 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,192 No, it's 12:00. 27 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,860 Actually, 12:05. 28 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,628 12-ish. 29 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,331 You want to straighten him out, or should I? 30 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,300 Go ahead, take a swing. 31 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,168 Okay. 32 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,802 The reason guys say hot girl 33 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,437 at like 12:00 or 3:00 34 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,508 is to specify a location using the clock face as kind of a map. 35 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,577 What if you have a digital watch? 36 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,412 First of all, 37 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,114 you're not gonna meet any women if you wear a digital watch. 38 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,749 And second of all, it doesn't matter. 39 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,351 The clock face is imaginary. 40 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:59,687 Then how do you know what time you saw the girl? 41 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,190 (mutters) 42 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,192 You know what, I'm wrong. 43 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,894 There's a hot girl, and it's 12:06. 44 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,662 Check. 45 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,600 Hey, he likes girls and he can tell time. 46 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,602 I'm a happy dad. 47 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,604 (cell phone rings) 48 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,608 Hello, Your Honor. What's up? 49 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,642 Your Honor? 50 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,712 Oh, your uncle's dating a judge. 51 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:25,846 This weekend? 52 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,215 Sure, that sounds great. 53 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,617 You mean like an American Idol judge? 54 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,718 No, a real judge. 55 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,787 American Idol judges are real, Dad. 56 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,191 So what, we'd be staying in adjoining rooms? 57 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,393 No, no, no, no, one room is fine. 58 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,561 Why is he dating a judge? 59 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:42,230 Is he trying to get out of something? 60 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,165 No, more like he's trying to get into something. 61 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,834 Good one. 62 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:47,901 You understood that? 63 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,136 Not really. 64 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,571 That's how I knew it was good. 65 00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:53,507 Oh, yeah, that's a very romantic hotel. 66 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,843 I've stayed there... never in my life. 67 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,711 Right. 68 00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:58,946 Okay, talk to you later. 69 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,514 (sighs) 70 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,816 Santa Barbara. This weekend. 71 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:03,951 One room. 72 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,953 Oh, now I get it. 73 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,621 Congratulations. 74 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,490 Thank you. 75 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,461 Son of a gun, Alan. Look. 76 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,262 What? 77 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,463 The blonde. Where? 78 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,331 12:08. 79 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,833 She, she looks like Rose. 80 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:20,934 It couldn't be. 81 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:21,969 She's still in England, right? 82 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,704 Last I heard. 83 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,006 I got a postcard from her the other day. 84 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,408 Really? What did it say? 85 00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:28,876 Oh, well, let's see... 86 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:29,943 "Dear Jake, how are you? 87 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,211 "I am fine. 88 00:03:31,279 --> 00:03:32,079 "Hope you're doing well in school. 89 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,847 Ha-ha." 90 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:37,050 I think that's a joke 'cause she knows I struggle with my grades. 91 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,552 Let's see, what else? Oh, yeah. 92 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,421 "Say hello from England to everybody." 93 00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:43,357 Hello from England. 94 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,793 Well, there you go. 95 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:46,827 She's in England. 96 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,095 I guess. 97 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,364 So why do I keep thinking I see her? 98 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,399 Maybe you miss her. 99 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:52,833 I don't think so. 100 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,935 I mean, I was a little down when she left, 101 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,437 which is to be expected, 102 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,105 but I've got Linda now and I've moved on 103 00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:01,041 and why the hell am I talking to you about my personal life? 104 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,643 Because I'm a good listener? 105 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,514 Because you have no other friends? 106 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,182 Ha-ha? 107 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,184 After this we're dropping him off 108 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,886 at his mother's, right? 109 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:13,554 Yep. 110 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:14,555 Ha-ha. 111 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,725 * Men... 112 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,709 (sighs) 113 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:42,683 ROSE: Dear Charlie... Greetings from faggy old London. 114 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,457 Greetings from foggy old London. 115 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,395 Hope you're doing well and not working too hard. Ha-ha. 116 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,063 Things are going great for me. 117 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,800 I love my job and my flat and my new friends. 118 00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,670 Sometimes my life in Malibu feels like a crazy dream. 119 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:05,873 I hope you can forgive me for all my bizarre behavior 120 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,275 and know that I will always remember you fondly. 121 00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,344 Your friend, Rose. 122 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,880 PS: Give my best to Alan. 123 00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:16,183 I'm sure by now he's found a place of his own. Ha-ha. 124 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,086 What you got there? 125 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,188 It's a letter from Rose. 126 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,256 Really? That come today? 127 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,692 Nah, a few months ago. 128 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,660 I just never got around to reading it. 129 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,763 I noticed you didn't toss it out. 130 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,599 What's that supposed to mean? 131 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,701 Charlie, of all the broads 132 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,037 who staggered bare-ass through these hallowed halls, 133 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,006 she's the one who really got to you. 134 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,341 Yeah, she got to me. 135 00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,976 She put a sleeping pill in my scotch 136 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,546 and superglued my testicles to my leg. 137 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:48,081 You just can't get past that, can you? 138 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:50,017 Well, it doesn't matter. 139 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,286 I'm in a real relationship now with an incredible woman-- 140 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,788 a judge, a Constitutional scholar, 141 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,525 a woman who may one day may be a state senator. 142 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,993 But does she care enough to line her mittens 143 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,830 with hair she collects from your shower drain? 144 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,998 I don't know yet. We're going slow. 145 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,500 Really? 146 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,136 Yes. We're getting to know each other as people 147 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,705 before we jump into bed and get to know each other 148 00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,741 as, you know, animals. 149 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,276 Just do me a favor and make the first time at her place, 150 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,946 'cause you're gonna spring forth like a water wiggle. 151 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,560 (piano playing gently) 152 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:44,304 * Some say love, it is a river 153 00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:50,711 * That drowns the tender reed 154 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:58,986 * Some say love, it is a razor * 155 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:05,559 * That leaves your soul to bleed * 156 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:13,901 * Some say love, it is a hunger * 157 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:22,543 * An endless, aching need 158 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:29,650 * I say love, it is a flower 159 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:40,694 * In the spring, becomes the Rose. * 160 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,029 ALAN: Charlie? ( music stops) 161 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,797 Charlie? What? 162 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,236 I need your help. 163 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,638 If you're doing laundry, 164 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,741 all I can say is you're doing it wrong. 165 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,510 No, no, the lady I've been seeing, 166 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,111 you know, Linda's friend Donna? 167 00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:03,416 Uh, she wants to-- how shall we say-- take it up a notch. 168 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,718 Yeah, so? 169 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,020 I'm out of notches. 170 00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,756 What do you need? 171 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,358 A younger man's penis. 172 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,694 Ah. My nightstand, 173 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,963 top drawer, next to the ping-pong paddle... 174 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,465 take one with water and stall her for 20 minutes. 175 00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,567 Thanks. 176 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,002 Alan? Yeah? 177 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:22,903 Don't those hurt? 178 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,337 Hell, yeah. 179 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,739 Why don't you take 'em off? 180 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,875 There's a penalty involved. 181 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,678 Long story. 182 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,115 I can tell ya how it ends. 183 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,552 * Men. 184 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,524 Lovely dinner. 185 00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,827 Yeah, the food was great. 186 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,597 It's a beautiful room. 187 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,965 Yeah, room's great. 188 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:54,802 Nice view. 189 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,205 Yep, view's great. 190 00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:07,581 (moans) 191 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,849 (knocking at door) 192 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,684 Oh, for God's sake. 193 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:11,952 Who is it? 194 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,954 WOMAN: (Latina accent): Room service, señor. 195 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,657 We didn't order anything. 196 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:19,893 Uh, champagne, compliments of the hotel. 197 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,929 Can you slip it under the door? 198 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,063 Charlie. 199 00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:27,735 Don't move. Don't change your mind. 200 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,106 (mouthing) 201 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,178 You want I open? 202 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,179 No, thank you. 203 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,581 Okay, good night. 204 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,784 Gracias. 205 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,229 Charlie... 206 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,398 Yeah? 207 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,500 I'm waiting. 208 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,368 For what? 209 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,105 Oh, right. 210 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,108 Hang on. 211 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,547 What are you doing to the rose? 212 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,251 I just don't want it looking at me. 213 00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:27,327 * Men. 214 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,499 I started algebra. 215 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,167 Oh. How's that going? 216 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:37,504 I don't get it at all, but the teacher's really hot. 217 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,807 Well, that's nice. 218 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,310 Yeah. She's got some really great racks. 219 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,113 I think you mean "rack." 220 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,049 No, she's got two, and they're gi-normous! 221 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,051 Uh-huh. 222 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:54,788 It's kinda cool that she's teaching alge-bra. 223 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,991 Nothing? 224 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,428 Boy, that killed in detention. 225 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,697 Oh, hey. How was Santa Barbara? 226 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,099 Santa Bar-bra? 227 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,871 That's Spanish for "City of Great Racks." 228 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,540 Alan, I got no patience for your kid today. 229 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,008 Go do your homework. 230 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,445 Oh, right. I have a big reading ass-signment. 231 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,717 You're not my audience. 232 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,823 Remember when he was cute? 233 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,892 The memory is fading. 234 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,027 So how was your big night with Linda? 235 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,096 Fine. 236 00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,231 Just fine? 237 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:41,601 Yes. Just... fine. 238 00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:45,705 Oh... I... see. 239 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:49,176 No... you... don't. 240 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,344 All right. 241 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,913 Want to talk about it? 242 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,416 Oh, golly, Alan, more than anything! 243 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,485 Okay, never mind. 244 00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,853 Stew in it. 245 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,421 Thank you. 246 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,828 (sighs) 247 00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,963 I finally got to step up to the plate, 248 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,499 and I was swinging a garden hose. 249 00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:19,006 You happy? 250 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,208 Well, I'm not sad. 251 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,779 What do you think the problem was? 252 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,450 I saw her again. Saw who? 253 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:33,887 Rose. She brought champagne to our hotel room, 254 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,223 except, this time, she was Hispanic. 255 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,160 What was she last time? 256 00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,095 Last time, she was a blonde with coffee, 257 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,497 and the time before that, she was a redhead with a dog. 258 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,532 What kind of dog? 259 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,200 What difference does it make? 260 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,170 I like dogs. 261 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,639 Go on. 262 00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,174 If I didn't know any better, 263 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,708 I'd say she was stalking me again. 264 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,944 From England? 265 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,778 We don't know she's in England! 266 00:12:58,846 --> 00:12:59,880 She sends letters and postcards. 267 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,448 Jake gets them all the time. 268 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,184 Oh, come on! Like she couldn't leave a stack of them 269 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:05,853 with some friend to mail every few days? 270 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,855 Oh, wow. Are you listening to yourself? 271 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,656 Even Rose isn't that crazy. 272 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,826 Oh, and she's going to fly back and forth with a dog? 273 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:15,996 She could hire a local dog. 274 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,666 Charlie, Rose is in England. She's not stalking you. 275 00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,335 And whatever you think you're seeing is in your head. 276 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,841 Yeah. You're probably right. 277 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:32,245 Regardless, last night was less than a triumph. 278 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,948 Why didn't you just take one of your pills? 279 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:40,253 Because somebody else took my last three. 280 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,522 Oh, yeah. 281 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:46,526 Thank you. 282 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:49,462 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 283 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,131 That's four. 284 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,001 First one was a two-fer. 285 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,004 * Men. 286 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,538 What kind of dog? 287 00:13:58,605 --> 00:13:59,839 I don't know! It was a dog! 288 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:02,943 Four legs and a tail. 289 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,978 Can we please get back to my problem? 290 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:08,281 Not a dog person. 291 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,918 So, you believe you're seeing people who aren't there. 292 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,485 No, no, no, no, no. 293 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,721 They're there, but they're not who they are. 294 00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,356 Well, then who are they? 295 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,460 I don't know who they are, but they all look like Rose. 296 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,694 Your stalker. 297 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,264 Well, that's kind of harsh. 298 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,466 You told me she broke into your home, disrobed, 299 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,768 and handcuffed herself to your refrigerator. 300 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:32,439 Well, just the one time. 301 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,044 So why do I keep seeing her everywhere I go? 302 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,545 Well, gee, Charlie, if I tell you that now, 303 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,447 what'll we do for the rest of the hour? 304 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,650 I'm joshing. 305 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,821 Why don't we talk about your current relationship? 306 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,058 Linda? Well, let's see. 307 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,559 She's a municipal court judge. 308 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,693 Oh. Very impressive. 309 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,761 Thank you. 310 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,296 I meant for her, Charlie. 311 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,632 It's hardly your accomplishment, now, is it? 312 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,334 Well, yeah, in a way. 313 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,303 I've never done a judge before. 314 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,639 Well, from what you told me, you still haven't. 315 00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:09,776 Touché. 316 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,712 It pays to listen. 317 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,481 So how old is Linda? 318 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:15,648 She's about my age. 319 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:16,716 Wow. This the first time you've 320 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:17,884 been with a woman that old? 321 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,519 Oh, no. Not at all. 322 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,489 So you've had age-appropriate relationships before? 323 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,525 Relationships? No, no. Are you crazy? 324 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,595 Am I crazy? Pot-kettle, Charlie. 325 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,966 Okay, look, I didn't come to therapy to talk this to death. 326 00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,303 I've seen Rose three times, 327 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,338 and it's ruining my sex life with Linda. 328 00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,606 Can you help me, 329 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:42,409 or do I have to learn to shoot pool with a rope? 330 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,145 Well, thank you for that disturbing image. 331 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,616 Best I can tell, Charlie, for the first time in your life, 332 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,585 you are involved in an adult relationship. 333 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:55,488 It's challenging. Maybe even a little intimidating. 334 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,090 And the fact that you're fantasizing 335 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,525 about a woman in England 336 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:01,594 who idolized you beyond all rational measure? 337 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:05,132 Well, that tells me that you're afraid to grow up. 338 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,000 We call that the Peter Pan Syndrome. 339 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:11,471 Whoa! That's pretty good. 340 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,905 So what can we do? 341 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,275 You know, Peter-wise? 342 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,510 If you're committed to personal growth, 343 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:20,380 you'll walk through your fear and embrace the challenges 344 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,282 of a really meaningful relationship 345 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,051 with an adult woman. 346 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,053 And your only other choice 347 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,954 is to live the emotionally stunted life 348 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,390 you've been living over and over, 349 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,693 never growing and never changing. 350 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:37,430 FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Good afternoon. 351 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,400 Welcome aboard British Airways Flight 471 352 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:43,736 nonstop to London's Heathrow Airport. 353 00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:46,073 * Men. 354 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,657 Charlie? 355 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,893 Surprise. 356 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,263 What are you doing here? 357 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,065 I'm not sure. I just needed to see you. 358 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:15,968 I needed to talk to you. I can come back if now is not a good time. 359 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,037 No, no. It's okay. 360 00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:20,673 I know you've probably moved on. 361 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,209 I thought I had, too. 362 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,978 But, everywhere I look, I keep seeing your face, 363 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,981 so I started thinking maybe... 364 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,984 I don't know what I'm thinking. 365 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,353 Are you... are you busy? 366 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,755 Can I take you out for a cold beer or something? 367 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,924 Actually, on this side of the pond, 368 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,026 we drink our beer warm. 369 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,529 You can still catch a buzz, right? 370 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,197 Oh, yeah. 371 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,965 Then warm's fine. 372 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:49,336 Okay. Well, I'll just get my purse. 373 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,437 Great. 374 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,316 So I'm not screwing up any plans of yours? 375 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:07,287 Oh, no. This fits perfectly into my plans. 376 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,260 Oh, Linda. Hi. 377 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,862 Hi, Alan. I'm... I'm sorry to show up unannounced, 378 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,964 but Charlie hasn't been answering his cell phone, 379 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,732 and I wanted to make sure he's okay. 380 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,334 Oh, Charlie's fine. 381 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,002 We have a pharmacy that delivers. 382 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:24,204 What? 383 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,839 Nothing. Come on in. 384 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,541 Thanks. 385 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:31,511 He should be getting up sometime soon anyway. 386 00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,813 So, how are things with you and Donna? 387 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,882 Good. Good. 388 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,584 Uh, I'll go get Charlie. 389 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,653 Hey, Dad, girls' volleyball! Lotta bouncing boobs! 390 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,855 Not now. You told me to tell you when they started. 391 00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:44,157 No, I didn't! Yes, you did! 392 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,225 Shut up! 393 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,895 Oh, hey. 394 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,263 Hello. You must be Jake. 395 00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,731 Yeah. Who are you? 396 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,600 Linda. I'm a friend of your Uncle Charlie's. 397 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,402 Are you the judge? Uh-huh. 398 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,769 Do you play volleyball? 399 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,405 No. Do you? 400 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,541 Nah. I just like to watch them jump up and down. 401 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,842 Okay! Hi-ho! 402 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,311 Go away. 403 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:06,313 I thought Charlie was asleep, 404 00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:08,047 but he's not in his room. 405 00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,015 Berta, have you seen Charlie? 406 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,350 He's not in his bed? 407 00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,585 No. Passed out on the bathroom floor? 408 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,355 No. Rubbing oil on the volleyball girls? 409 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,224 No. 410 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:22,795 Well, that just leaves the bars, hospitals and jails. 411 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,365 I'll go get the yellow pages. 412 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,336 Well, he couldn't have gone very far. 413 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:32,038 Hey, Dad! Hot girl in a thong! 414 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,673 What time is it?! 415 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,245 * Men. 416 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,916 Mmm! Tepid. 417 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:48,288 So, London certainly agrees with you, Rose. 418 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,289 You look beautiful. 419 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,424 Thank you, Charlie. 420 00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,826 I just can't believe you're here. 421 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,429 Yeah, well, I know. 422 00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,331 I've been thinking a lot about you lately, 423 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,533 and I miss you. 424 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,470 Aw, Charlie, I miss you, too. 425 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,538 Are you seeing anybody? 426 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,807 Actually, I am seeing someone, 427 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,043 but I'm not really sure where it's going yet. 428 00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,812 You? 429 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,148 To be honest, there is one lady I've been dating. 430 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,751 She's actually my own age. 431 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,019 No. 432 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,654 Yeah. 433 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:25,191 But my therapist says she's not good for me. 434 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:28,461 And you think I am? 435 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,898 Well, you've always loved me for who I am 436 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,466 instead of who I could be, 437 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:34,834 which is really wonderful because, 438 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,538 let's face it, we both love who I am. 439 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,909 I do love you, Charlie. 440 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,577 Great. 441 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:47,647 So? 442 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,249 So what? 443 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,785 So what's next? 444 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,154 What do you mean? 445 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,857 You can't expect me to go back 446 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,759 to what we had without a commitment. 447 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,929 A commitment? 448 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:05,898 Yes. I think we should get married. 449 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,802 Married? 450 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,904 Sell the house in Malibu 451 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,241 and move to a kid-friendly neighborhood here in London. 452 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:18,345 Kid? 453 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:23,316 Kids. We're gonna have kids, aren't we? 454 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:29,021 FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Good afternoon. 455 00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,624 Welcome aboard British Airways Flight 472 456 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:35,328 nonstop to Los Angeles International Airport. 457 00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,597 * Men.