1 00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,273 I don't have to go. 2 00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:08,276 I mean, I'm sorry I have work to do, so you can't stay. 3 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,544 Didn't you hear me? I can stay. 4 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:14,014 Yeah, I wish you could... 5 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,484 ...but there's no way 6 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,253 I'd be able to concentrate with you around. 7 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,589 Don't forget your sweater. 8 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,993 Oh, you are so thoughtful. Most guys aren't. 9 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,028 Most guys are selfish, hateful bastards, 10 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:32,133 who just want to use you and throw you away. 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,502 Damn them. 12 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,505 Anything else you might have overlooked-- 13 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,006 cell phone, earrings? 14 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,109 Any medications? 15 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,112 Hang on. 16 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,546 Nope, I'm all set. 17 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,315 Good, good. 18 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,982 Okay, well, I'll see you soon. 19 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,084 How soon? 20 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,319 Very soon. 21 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,187 So you'll call? What do you think? 22 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,455 (voice breaking): I think you'll call. 23 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,056 Well, there you go. 24 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,628 So when will you call? Soon. 25 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,664 How soon? We're back on this ride, huh? 26 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,066 Okay, very soon. Bye-bye now. 27 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,740 (sighs) 28 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,108 When will I learn? 29 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,143 ALAN: Soon. 30 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,479 Very soon. 31 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,181 Don't tell me, 32 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,683 tell the cockeyed optimist in my pants. 33 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,552 So where'd you find this one? 34 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,454 The animal shelter. 35 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,422 So, we getting a pet? 36 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,359 Are you crazy? We've already got your kid. 37 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,395 Then what were you doing there? 38 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,331 Standing within earshot of attractive women 39 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:41,169 and mumbling, "Gee, I wish I could adopt them all." 40 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,206 It's foolproof. 41 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:48,209 Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about. 42 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,578 You know the difference between you and me, Alan? 43 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,646 I don't scream when I pee? 44 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,115 I took care of that. 45 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,086 No, the difference between you and me 46 00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:02,089 is I have vision-- I see what others don't. 47 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,724 Terrific. Anyway, the thing I wanted to tell you... 48 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,659 You look at an animal shelter and see 49 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,061 homeless dogs and kitties about to be put to death. 50 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,199 Me-- I see an ass farm. 51 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,534 Okay, I'm speechless. 52 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,237 No words necessary. 53 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:19,840 Silent admiration is all I ask. 54 00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,542 So, what is it you wanted to tell me? 55 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,745 (thud) 56 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,850 The railing's a little loose. 57 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:35,656 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * * Ah, ah! 58 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:45,666 Oh, I got to stop falling off the deck sober. 59 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:50,170 Buenos dias. 60 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,676 Huevos rancheros. 61 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,247 Morning. 62 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,914 How are you feeling? 63 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,984 Like I feel eight feet onto splintered wood, 64 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,019 wet sand and a dead crab. 65 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,155 I can only think your highly inflated ego 66 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,258 might have broken your fall. 67 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,026 So where'd you find Pancho Bob Villa out there? 68 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,798 You know those fliers that get left in your mailbox all the time? 69 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,300 Yeah. 70 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,069 Well, I take them and file them according to category. 71 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,907 Take-out menus, rug sales, carpet cleaning, plumbing, tiling... 72 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:31,712 Fernando was under "handyman services." 73 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:34,282 You're going to live here forever, aren't you? 74 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,751 He's licensed, he's bonded, 75 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,052 he's punctual and he's reasonably priced. 76 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,721 Are you paying him? 77 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,857 No, but I'm saving you 20% with this valuable coupon. 78 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,059 Morning. 79 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,895 Hey. Morning. 80 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,162 (saw whirring) 81 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,698 What in the heck is...? 82 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:51,832 Oh, yum. 83 00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,304 Who is that? 84 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,638 He's a handyman. 85 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,239 Ooh, nice. 86 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,208 Can we keep him? Can we, can we? 87 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,310 He's just here to fix the deck. 88 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,111 Great. 89 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,314 There's a lot of work that can be done in here, too. 90 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,615 Like what? 91 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,650 Well, for starters, 92 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,152 that cabinet door's coming off its hinges. 93 00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,754 Really? 94 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,094 No, it's not. 95 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,803 Yeah, it is. 96 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,005 (saw whirring) 97 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,675 He looks parched. 98 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,311 I'll take him some rum. 99 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,115 * Men. 100 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:45,018 See, my problem is, is that I'm a giver. 101 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,620 I love too much. 102 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,122 And it's always the wrong man. 103 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,224 You have romance in your heart. 104 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,026 Oh, I have romance all over me. 105 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,396 I reek of it. 106 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,264 Another mojito? 107 00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,634 Oh, no-- one is my limit when I work with power tools. 108 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,470 That's smart. 109 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,673 We wouldn't want you to lose one of those beautiful thumbs. 110 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,807 Berta? 111 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,709 What?! 112 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,311 I just thought maybe it's almost lunchtime... 113 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,312 Oh, yeah. 114 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,948 Quesadilla, bright eyes? 115 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:15,949 Thank you. 116 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,785 Coming up. 117 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,219 Actually, I'd rather have a sandwich... 118 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,621 I'm making quesadillas! 119 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:21,855 Quesadillas, fine. 120 00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,461 So, Fernando, how's it going? 121 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,529 Oh, sorry to tell you this, 122 00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:30,631 but you have a problem here. 123 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:34,334 Just don't let her corner you in the laundry room and you'll be fine. 124 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:36,370 No, the deck. 125 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,372 When is the last time you put sealant on it? 126 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,373 Well... 127 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,240 uh... 128 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,275 What?! 129 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,246 Oh, Señor, you cannot have wood untreated this close to the ocean. 130 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,949 The moisture, she gets in and rots it from the inside. 131 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,552 Where have I heard that before? 132 00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,454 Oh right, my doctor. 133 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,523 But it wasn't moisture, it was scotch. 134 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,458 You need to replace the entire railing, 135 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,292 parts of the deck and the stairway to the beach. 136 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,828 Huh. 137 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,864 Well, why can't I just put on some of that sealant? 138 00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,934 You could do that, but it would be, as we say: 139 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,502 Ordeñar a una vaca muerta. 140 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,803 What's that mean? 141 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,772 Milking a dead cow. 142 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,874 Ah. 143 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:18,846 Well, maybe before I commit to all this work, 144 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,548 I should get a second opinion. 145 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,782 I understand. 146 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,017 You are a smart and careful man. 147 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,791 But I would hurry up before your deck falls off. 148 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,794 Something else my doctor told me. 149 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,797 * Men. 150 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,532 (phone ringing) 151 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,367 ALAN: Hello. 152 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,771 Oh, hang on, I'll see if he's here. 153 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:46,840 It's Chloe. 154 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,044 I need more than that, Alan. 155 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,381 The girl you adopted at the animal shelter. 156 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,050 Oh, God, she won't leave me alone. 157 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,886 What do you want me to say? 158 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,821 I don't know; tell her I'm sick. 159 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,490 Okay. 160 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,924 What do you have? 161 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,660 What are you talking about? 162 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,729 Are you bedridden or ambulatory? 163 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,899 Uh... bedridden. 164 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,602 Got it. 165 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,737 Is if viral or bacterial? 166 00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,506 What?! 167 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,808 If I'm going to lie convincingly, I need details. 168 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,943 I don't know-- I got a bug. 169 00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,479 Intestinal or bronchial? 170 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,848 Just tell her I got the flu, all right? 171 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,349 Oh, good, the flu. 172 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:31,952 Is it coming out both ends? 173 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,088 Just give me the freakin' phone. 174 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,660 (coughs) 175 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,062 No, it's okay, I want to talk to her. 176 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,934 (weakly): Hello, Chloe. 177 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,468 No, I'm fine. 178 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,970 Just a little bug. 179 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,873 Doctor said I should be okay in a couple of weeks. 180 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,075 Me too, baby. 181 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,444 I'll call you. 182 00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,380 Soon. 183 00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,783 Very soon. 184 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,817 See? 185 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,586 Was that so hard? 186 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,555 Well, to be fair, you had the advantage 187 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,723 of making it a performance piece. 188 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,825 Hey, dawgs. 189 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,060 Hey. Hey, Jake. 190 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,995 Alan, here, I need you to sign these papers 191 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,164 for Jake's summer school. 192 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,866 Summer school, again? 193 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,034 Why not? He's getting good at it. 194 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,069 Oh, my Lord. 195 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,104 Who is that? 196 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,173 That's my handyman. 197 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,609 Really? I've been looking for a good handyman. 198 00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,410 Well, it's a little soon to know how good he is... 199 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,612 I'll find out. 200 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,849 I'm starting to see a trend here. 201 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:41,589 * Besame, besame mucho * 202 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,892 * Como si fuera esta noche... * 203 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,661 That boney bitch! 204 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,503 Yep, definitely a trend. 205 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,974 * Men. 206 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,677 Summer school three years in a row. 207 00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:08,716 They might as well just make you the janitor. 208 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,618 Yeah, well, school sucks. 209 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,519 That's because you go year-round. 210 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,456 Imagine if you had a couple months off in the summer. 211 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,492 If I were you, I'd start teaching him 212 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,761 how to throw sawdust on vomit. 213 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,931 I can do that. 214 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,634 Why don't you just go start your homework? 215 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,968 What's the point? 216 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:28,669 I'm already going to summer school. 217 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,003 Jake... 218 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,872 And if I flunk there, what can they do? 219 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,006 Send me to regular school? 220 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,808 Go. 221 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,680 Actually, that sawdust job may be a pipe dream. 222 00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:44,217 Is the big one gone? 223 00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,622 Yeah, she went to get something waxed. 224 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,992 We were scared to ask what. 225 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,661 I just wanted to tell you 226 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,595 I was able to save you some money on the redwood. 227 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:56,964 Oh, that's terrific. How? 228 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,868 My cousin-- he works at a lumberyard and... 229 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,170 that's all you need to know. 230 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,272 Well, thanks. 231 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,007 No problem. I'll get back to work. 232 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,109 I like this guy. 233 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,644 Of course you do. 234 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,945 What's that supposed to mean? 235 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,014 Charlie, he's a younger version of you. 236 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,685 Oh yeah, that must be it. 237 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,286 (doorbell ringing) JAKE: I'll get it. 238 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,255 There you go. He could be a doorman. 239 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,692 Charlie, I really don't appreciate... 240 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:25,926 I'm not saying right away. 241 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,095 He could work his way up from doorstop. 242 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,863 Uncle Charlie, it's Chloe. 243 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,932 Aw, geez, did you let her in? 244 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,300 No, she's on the front porch. 245 00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,668 I told her I'd see if you were home. 246 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,003 Attaboy. 247 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,772 See? He'll make doorman in no time. 248 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,008 She brought soup. 249 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,243 Why would she bring soup? 250 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,912 You told her you had a bug. 251 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,646 So she assumed it was bronchial. 252 00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,716 If you'd been more specific, like I suggested, 253 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,783 you could have precluded this. 254 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,888 Nobody just drops by when they think you have diarrhea. 255 00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,260 And I bet they don't bring soup either. 256 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:04,564 All right, all right, I'm gonna sneak out the back door. 257 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,700 Just tell her I had a doctor's appointment. 258 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:07,968 GP or specialist? 259 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,039 Alan, I swear to God, I will rip off your head 260 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,341 and use your neck as a bedpan. 261 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,110 Charlie, you cannot keep lying to this girl forever. 262 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,179 Oh, I think I can. 263 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,881 Just go out there and tell her 264 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,215 you're not interested in a relationship 265 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,216 and be done with it. 266 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,653 Yeah... I guess you're right. 267 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,290 I say we eat the soup before you tell her. 268 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,929 Smelled like minestrone. 269 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,298 Listen, Chloe, we need to talk... 270 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:41,835 Chloe? 271 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,136 (Chloe laughing in distance) 272 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,010 Looks like your problem's solved. 273 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,879 Are you crazy? 274 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,947 That rat bastard is stealing my girlfriend. 275 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,786 Forget the girl, he's stealing our soup! 276 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,621 * Men. 277 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,694 Hey, baby, thanks so much for coming to see me. 278 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,762 Yeah, well, 279 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,697 that's what friends are for. 280 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,702 So, um, Charlie, did you know that Fernando volunteers 281 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,071 to build homeless shelters in his spare time? 282 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,840 No, I didn't. 283 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,776 Did you know his cousin steals wood? 284 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,812 Really? 285 00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,980 That is fascinating. 286 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,017 Why don't you come on inside, so we can visit. 287 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,085 I'll see you later, Fernando. 288 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,321 Well, thank you for your thoughtful soup. 289 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,590 It nourishes my body as your beauty nourishes my soul. 290 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,859 (passionate shudder) 291 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,697 Find something to saw. 292 00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,801 So, Chloe, what's new? 293 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,736 Huh? Oh, nothing. 294 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,940 What is he, like, Colombian? 295 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,641 I don't know. 296 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,110 But I gotta tell you, I do feel much better seeing you. 297 00:12:57,177 --> 00:13:01,314 God, it's like his eyes are looking inside your soul. 298 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,749 (passionate sigh) 299 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,318 Yeah, kinda creepy. 300 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,688 The way he speaks, it's so romantic. 301 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,360 Hey, I almost forgot. 302 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,162 I wrote you a song. 303 00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,064 Really? 304 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,765 Well, Chloe, you've been on my mind a lot, 305 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,868 and I wanted to find a way to express my feelings. 306 00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,135 What's it called? 307 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,803 Uh... 308 00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,973 "Chloe's Song." 309 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,409 I haven't put any words to it yet, 310 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,878 but it goes something like this. 311 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:37,150 (playing "You Are So Beautiful to Me" 312 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,993 FERNANDO: * Can't you see? 313 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,829 * You're everything I hope for * 314 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,699 * You're everything I need... 315 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:59,806 * You are so beautiful... * 316 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,411 * To me. 317 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,946 (passionate sigh) 318 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,916 You should use those words. 319 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,891 * Men. 320 00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,226 Thanks again for stopping by. 321 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,760 Yeah, I'm glad you're feeling better. 322 00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,329 So when am I gonna see you again? 323 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,296 Soon. 324 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,731 How soon? 325 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,266 I'll call you. 326 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,800 Bye, Fernando. 327 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,802 Hasta luego, Señorita. 328 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,871 (breathlessly): Oh, God... 329 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,209 Call me. 330 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,915 You have a beautiful lady, Señor Harper. 331 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,783 Thank you. 332 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,885 She must make you feel... 333 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,887 how do you say... 334 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,057 young again? 335 00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,262 Yeah. 336 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,098 That's what I'm feeling. 337 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,501 Oh! Hey, listen, Charlie, I was thinking-- 338 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,003 after Fernando's done with the deck, 339 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,005 he could patch that hole in the roof 340 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,739 where the squirrels get in. 341 00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:07,740 I don't think so. 342 00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,841 Why not? 343 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,310 I like squirrels. 344 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,913 Hey, me too. 345 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:17,117 But they get into the crawl space, 346 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,485 where they breed and die. 347 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,820 That's what I like about 'em, Alan. 348 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,058 I like their little hands. 349 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,360 Come on, Charlie, all Fernando would have to do-- 350 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,829 Forget Fernando. 351 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,831 I'm having second thoughts about him even finishing the deck. 352 00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,866 What, you want to fire him? 353 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,535 I don't want to... 354 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,904 I just don't think his work is very professional. 355 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,906 I mean, he's wasting a lot of wood. 356 00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,275 And you know, wood doesn't just grow on tree... 357 00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,077 He's gotta go. 358 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,845 Charlie, you're not fooling anybody. 359 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:46,846 You're jealous. 360 00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,181 Jealous?! 361 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,849 You know what's cooler than squirrels? 362 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,852 Anteaters. They're just crazy-lookin'. 363 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,223 I'm not jealous. 364 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,791 And their name tells you what to feed 'em. 365 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,929 Why would you say I'm jealous? 366 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,232 I'm an omnivore. That means I eat anything. 367 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,966 Yeah, we've noticed. Now shut up. 368 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,536 I'm not jealous. 369 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,371 Charlie, you want to fire this guy 370 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,040 just because he's younger and better-looking than you. 371 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,241 And he can sing. 372 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,409 This has nothing to do with that. 373 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,844 And I can sing too. 374 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,846 Yeah, but you stink. 375 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:21,914 (knocking) 376 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,183 Hey, I'm done for the day. 377 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,451 I'll see you in the morning? 378 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,952 Hold on, Fernando. 379 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,954 I want to talk to you. 380 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,856 Yes? 381 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,293 Never mind. Good night. 382 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,961 Is there a problem? 383 00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:38,131 Because I want everything to be perfect for you. 384 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,133 You're a good man and I respect you. 385 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,135 You remind me of my sainted father. 386 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,938 Thank you. 387 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,909 He was wise and strong until syphilis made him crazy. 388 00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,181 Again, thanks. 389 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,282 Good night. 390 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,883 Buenas noches. 391 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,489 I thought you were gonna get rid of him. 392 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,992 Or did you go crazy there for a second? 393 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,895 I don't know, I just... 394 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,397 I just couldn't. Yeah, 395 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,165 I think it's his eyes. 396 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,000 It's like they're looking right into my soul. 397 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,468 That's what Mom said. 398 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,572 Women used to say that about my eyes. 399 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,874 Really? 400 00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,277 'Cause now they're kind of milky and bloodshot. 401 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,380 Actually, the one on the right 402 00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,615 is starting to look a little lazy. 403 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,651 You know, you're right. 404 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,221 Okay, okay, that's enough. 405 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,622 Come on, Charlie, you can't expect 406 00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,290 to compete with a guy half your age. 407 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,092 I am not competing. 408 00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,428 Well, you shouldn't, because it's perfectly natural. 409 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:44,597 Each generation passes the torch on to the next. 410 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,533 The child becomes the hunter, 411 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,068 the hunter becomes the revered elder. 412 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,404 When you're too old to chase the buffalo, 413 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:55,908 it's time to stay back with the old women and make necklaces. 414 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,411 Necklaces? 415 00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,947 Or weave blankets, tend the fire, 416 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,616 teach the kids to whittle... 417 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,953 Buffaloes are cool, too. 418 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,621 They're like bad-ass cows. 419 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,592 * Men. 420 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,461 (doorbell rings) 421 00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,301 Charlie...? 422 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,469 Yeah, hi. 423 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,137 I was just in the neighborhood, 424 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,973 and I thought I'd drop off your soup thermos. 425 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,475 Thanks. 426 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,577 What did you do to yourself? 427 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,345 Me? Nothing, nothing. 428 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,081 I was just doing a little work outdoors, got some sun. 429 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,583 Oh. 430 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,618 What's up with your teeth? 431 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:43,323 Oh, I just brushed 'em real good. 432 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,957 So, can I come in? 433 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,960 Oh, gee, Charlie, I really... 434 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:48,995 wish you would've called. 435 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:49,996 Oh... 436 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,131 Señor Harper... 437 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,571 I was, how do you say... 438 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,673 About to sleep with my girlfriend? 439 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,109 Okay, "about to." 440 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,582 I am so sorry. 441 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,384 I would understand if you fired me. 442 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,757 Hey, it's no big deal, pal. 443 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,727 This is the natural course of events. 444 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,094 You're the next generation: 445 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,364 young, vibrant, good-looking, 446 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,599 you can buy Chloe expensive jewelry... 447 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,501 I cannot buy her expensive jewelry. 448 00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:32,104 Oh, right, that's me. 449 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,007 What do you say, Chloe-- want to go shopping? 450 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,009 I'll go get my purse. 451 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,483 And yeah, you're fired. 452 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,385 * Men. 453 00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:52,325 * Men. 454 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,228 Charlie, when are you coming back to bed? 455 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,396 Soon. 456 00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,130 How soon? (giggles) 457 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,666 I'll be right up, baby. 458 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:08,441 Okay... let me see if I got this right. 459 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,778 You bought diamonds for the girl you were trying to get rid of 460 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,614 in order to win her from the handyman you fired. 461 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,417 I'm sensing some judgement here. 462 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:21,288 You're very astute. 463 00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:25,325 Okay, first of all, I got Fernando another job. 464 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:29,796 But the most important thing to remember is, I won. 465 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,731 You're a lecherous old guy 466 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,767 who bought a young woman's affection with shiny baubles. 467 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,669 True. 468 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,538 But I won. 469 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,843 (heavy sigh) 470 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,812 Are you sure we cannot open up a window? 471 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,747 No, I like it hot. 472 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:58,157 Okay, well, time for the victor to reap the spoils. 473 00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,827 Oh, Charlie, aren't you ashamed? 474 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,664 Alan, you know the difference between you and me? 475 00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,500 (thud) 476 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:22,382 Yeah, I wouldn't fire the handyman before he finishes. 477 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,417 Hey, I can see your teeth from up here.