1 00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:05,306 Oh, I knew it. 2 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,841 There's no extra foam in my latte. 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:08,876 You ask for extra foam, 4 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,045 you might as well be asking for a piggyback ride, 5 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,946 you know what I mean? 6 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,949 Charlie? Charlie? 7 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,619 Oh! Of course. 8 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:22,356 Man's got a heat-seeking missile in his pants. 9 00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:23,691 Is it too much to ask 10 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,093 that when we go out for a cup of coffee 11 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,794 you at least stay within earshot 12 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:30,431 so I'm not talking to myself like a crazy person? 13 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:33,067 And again, I'm talking to myself like a crazy person. 14 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,603 ( hushed ): Look! 15 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,173 Yes, I see. 16 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,009 Girl pretty. Charlie like. 17 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,545 No, girl magnificent. 18 00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,814 Charlie buy her Lexus. 19 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,218 Okay, I thought we were going 20 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,419 to be hanging out together, 21 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,020 but obviously, your neurotic need 22 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,455 for meaningless sex is more important 23 00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,257 than spending time with your only brother, 24 00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,459 who despite everything, continues to love you, 25 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,628 and is, by the way, your best hope 26 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,231 for a viable kidney transplant. 27 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,369 You can get yourself home, right? 28 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:12,306 What, what makes you think 29 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,574 that she's even available? 30 00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,276 Maybe she's married. Maybe she's gay. 31 00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:16,510 Maybe she's a guy. 32 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:21,282 Hey, I don't see a ring, a girlfriend or a bulge. 33 00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,516 Now if you'll excuse me, 34 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,586 it's time to do that voodoo that I do do so well. 35 00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,323 Hi. 36 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,126 I'm Charlie. 37 00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,128 Don't care. 38 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,229 And you are? 39 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,565 Not interested. 40 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,000 How do you know? 41 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,304 I know. 42 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,807 Okay, then. 43 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:52,746 What, you think it's over? 44 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:53,781 'Cause it's not over. 45 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,216 Oh, oh, I'm sorry. 46 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:56,450 I guess I was misled 47 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,453 by her complete and utter indifference to you. 48 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,089 Yeah, well, watch and learn. 49 00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,591 So... 50 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,559 Go away. 51 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,298 How about now? Is it over now? 52 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:13,534 It's not an exact science. 53 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:18,472 Look, if you knew me at all and shut me down, 54 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:19,773 that would be one thing, 55 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,075 but to be dismissed on a simple hello, 56 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,444 that's a tough pill to swallow. 57 00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,647 Would you rather I give it to you 58 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,115 in a suppository? 59 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,683 Well, to be perfectly honest... 60 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,585 Good-bye. 61 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:35,723 Hey, hey, did you hear that? 62 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,957 What? 63 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:42,129 It's a, it's a fat lady and she's... singing. 64 00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,731 You'd give up right now, wouldn't you? 65 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:47,668 Charlie, Elvis has left the building. 66 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,504 Giving up is a little moot at this point. 67 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,106 Yeah, well, that attitude is why you sleep alone 68 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:57,611 with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow. 69 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:00,914 Stay out of my room. 70 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,385 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men... * 71 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,955 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men... * 72 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:11,492 Men, men, men, men, manly men * 73 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,327 * Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh 74 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:16,430 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men * 75 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:20,167 * Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men. * 76 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,304 * Men. 77 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,445 "Waverly Dance Studio, 3737 Waverly Street." 78 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,546 Got it. 79 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:36,817 "Westwood Academy of Dance, 14001 Pico Boulevard." 80 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,185 What's going on? 81 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,720 I'm mapping out all the dance studios 82 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:41,622 in a five-mile radius of the coffee shop. 83 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:42,590 Why? 84 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,492 I can't stop thinking about that girl I met. 85 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,426 I have to find her. 86 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,527 Hmm, it's a shame 87 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,996 you can't let your penis sniff a piece 88 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:49,863 of her clothing. 89 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,300 Look, I know her name: Mia. 90 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,867 It was written on her coffee cup. 91 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,168 I know she's a dancer. 92 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,004 She was wearing those leg-warmer thingies 93 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,238 and reading a dance magazine. 94 00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,907 Just 'cause you're reading a dance magazine 95 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:00,974 doesn't make you a dancer. 96 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,411 Why not? You're a monster boob. 97 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,282 Will you both stay out of my room?! 98 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,418 I'll tell you something. 99 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,052 Why do you want to go to all this trouble 100 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:15,188 to track down a girl who showed less than no interest in you? 101 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:19,159 A girl who seemed actually repulsed by your very being. 102 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:23,230 A girl whose skin visibly crawled at your mere proximity. 103 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,699 Yeah, but did you see her butt? 104 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,102 It was like a ripe little peach. 105 00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:33,206 That's your answer? Her ass reminded you of fruit? 106 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,108 Berta, explain it to him. 107 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,577 Well, a lot of the times 108 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,846 a peach will have a subtle cleft in it 109 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,014 that is visually reminiscent of a woman's... 110 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,352 Thanks, thanks. I got it. 111 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,119 Alan, do you know why Sir Edmund Hillary 112 00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,488 wanted to scale Mount Everest? 113 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:51,425 Because it reminded him of a big pointy melon? 114 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,361 That's part of the reason. 115 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,597 But the main reason was he wanted to do it 116 00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:58,432 because everyone thought it was impossible. 117 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,501 No, I'm missing the connection here. 118 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:02,803 If a girl like Mia were easy to climb, 119 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,373 her head would be covered with flags. 120 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,007 So you're looking for a challenge. 121 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,075 Exactly. 122 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,944 No one takes a picture of the fish that jumps on your boat. 123 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:14,515 I'm confused. Is she a mountain or a fish? 124 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:17,518 Doesn't matter. Either way, I'm going to scale her. 125 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,523 And you, why do you enable this behavior? 126 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:25,793 Why? I'll tell you why. 127 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,095 Because your brother is the embodiment 128 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,431 of the can-do, roll-up-your-sleep spirit 129 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,999 that made this country great. 130 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,468 He never gets discouraged; he goes after what he wants; 131 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,770 and he doesn't know the meaning of the word quit. 132 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,440 And if the day should come when any man, 133 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:41,108 no matter how humble, can't go out there 134 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,677 and soil the loins of some hot little dancer 135 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,980 well, I don't want to live in that America. 136 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:53,387 * O, beautiful, for spacious skies * 137 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:57,357 * For amber waves of grain... 138 00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,360 Demi plie, grand plie. 139 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,595 Okay, very good. 140 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:06,266 Now reverse, demi plie, demi plie, 141 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,401 grand plie. 142 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,236 Oh, leave me alone. 143 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,504 Keep going. 144 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,939 Hey, you're a teacher. 145 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,674 Hey, you're a stalker. 146 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,243 No, no, I was just passing by and happened 147 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,310 to look in the window. 148 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,446 What's the map for? 149 00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,947 Oh, this. 150 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,649 Well, I had to go to eight other dance studios 151 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,083 before I found the right window. 152 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,588 Okay, I suppose that could be interpreted as stalking, 153 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,523 but it could just as easily be seen 154 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,559 as sincerity, persistence, enthusiasm. 155 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,027 Mental illness. 156 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:34,895 Oh, come on. 157 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,430 I'm clearly smitten. Throw me a bone. 158 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,698 Charlie... You remembered my name. 159 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,332 That's got to mean something. 160 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,367 Yeah, I wrote it down 161 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,135 in case I needed to call the cops. 162 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,705 Charlie, I don't have time for dating right now. 163 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,640 I'm completely focused on my work. 164 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,241 Okay, let's talk about work. 165 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,410 I've always wanted to learn to dance. Can you teach me? 166 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,645 I only teach children. 167 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,715 You don't have a class full of large, slow kids 168 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,884 I could be part of? 169 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,455 All right, how about this? 170 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,557 My nephew loves to dance. 171 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:07,360 A gifted little boy. Moves like a gazelle. 172 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,629 How old is he? 173 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,731 I don't know. 11, 12. 174 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,365 It's hard to say. He's got a big head. 175 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,268 Frankly, I'd love to have a boy in the class. 176 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,403 It's hard to get males that age 177 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,805 excited about ballet. 178 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:22,843 Really? 'Cause Jake is just "ballet" this and "ballet" that. 179 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,612 Yeah, I'm sure. 180 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,946 Tell you what. 181 00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:27,748 Why don't you bring him by tomorrow? 182 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,751 Great. Maybe afterward, you and I... 183 00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:31,852 Charlie, listen carefully. 184 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,688 You and I? Never gonna happen. 185 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,457 Understood. See you tomorrow. 186 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:41,829 Charlie to base camp. 187 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,030 ( mimics radio static ) 188 00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,464 I'm beginning my ascent. 189 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,769 * Men. 190 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,470 How do you liking the pizza 191 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,340 your old Uncle Charlie bought especially for his little buddy? 192 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,441 It's good. 193 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:55,876 Well, save room. I've got a half gallon 194 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,778 of that double fudge brownie ice cream you like. 195 00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,013 I don't know. I'm pretty stuffed. 196 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,781 You sure? 197 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:04,151 Maybe after I poop. 198 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,053 What are you doing? 199 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,320 We're eating dinner. 200 00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,856 You had dinner an hour ago. 201 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,691 Well, then he won't need breakfast. 202 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,760 I'm on a roll. 203 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,797 You had enough to eat. 204 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:19,567 Hey, Jake, you know what I like to do after a nice big meal? 205 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,433 What? 206 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,735 Learn to dance. 207 00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,940 Charlie? Yeah? 208 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:27,875 Private word. 209 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,010 Sure. 210 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,081 What's up? 211 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,215 Shame on you. 212 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,850 Is that it? 213 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,886 You found that girl and now you have 214 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,221 some kind of depraved plan to use my son as bait. 215 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,356 Yeah, so? It's not like you pay his rent. 216 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,192 Why shouldn't he pitch in? 217 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,894 I will not allow it. 218 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,063 Oh, come on. It's just a couple of ballet lessons. 219 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,999 Ballet? Him? 220 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:55,636 I think he has a quiet grace about him. 221 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,271 He doesn't have to be good at it. 222 00:08:58,338 --> 00:08:59,573 He just has to show up. 223 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,641 One lesson. I'm begging you. 224 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,942 You know what? 225 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,077 It really doesn't matter what I say. 226 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,979 You will never convince him to take ballet. 227 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,281 But if I can, will you stay out of it? 228 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,149 I guess. 229 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,785 Great. Hey, Jake... 230 00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:16,323 Okay, that might have been bad parenting. 231 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,291 I've got a surprise for you. 232 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,060 Not more food, is it? 233 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,962 I'm starting to feel a little dizzy. 234 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,330 No, you're going to get to do something 235 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,464 that I'll bet no other boy 236 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,999 in your class has ever done. 237 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:30,237 If it's sex, Mitchell Fineman already saw his cousin naked. 238 00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,106 No, this is better than sex. What? 239 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,643 How would he know? 240 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,444 You're going to learn to dance ballet. 241 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,647 Want to bet? 242 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:44,084 Okay, let me put it this way. 243 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,353 How much money will I have to give you 244 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,520 to take ballet lessons? 245 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,190 How about ten dollars? 246 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,592 Wait. Hold on. Hold on. 247 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,767 I want a thousand dollars. 248 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,404 That's really not ethical. 249 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:08,041 Oh, yeah. I'm the one on shaky moral ground. 250 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,578 Okay, I'll give you $500. 251 00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,113 Split the difference. 252 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,982 $250. Done. 253 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,252 * Men. 254 00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,160 Come on. Let's go. 255 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,562 I changed my mind. 256 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,498 You took my money. 257 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,400 I'll give it back. 258 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,835 Jake, we're here. 259 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,536 You may as well give it a try. 260 00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:37,838 Yeah. Give it a try. 261 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,307 Who knows? You might like it. 262 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,683 I will never forgive you for this. 263 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:53,320 * Men. 264 00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,660 You didn't tell me I'd be the only boy here. 265 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,763 So? The odds are on your side. 266 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:06,433 The odds for what? I'm 11. 267 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,801 I want to go home. 268 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,402 I thought we had a deal. 269 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,372 Charlie, you can't make him stay if he doesn't want to. 270 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,041 I love you, Dad. 271 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:17,711 All right, let's get started. 272 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,313 Whoa. Who's that? 273 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,381 Your teacher. 274 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,649 Come on, let's go. 275 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:23,884 Hang on, Dad. 276 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,986 Maybe I should give this a chance. 277 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,055 Hi. I'm Jake. 278 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,690 Hi, Jake. It's nice to meet you. 279 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,592 Yeah. 280 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,528 You uncle tells me you like ballet. 281 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,831 Yeah. 282 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,767 Okay. How about you line up with the girls 283 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,234 and we'll get started. 284 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,103 Yeah. 285 00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,306 How about that? He's got a crush. 286 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,776 It's like watching a dog chase a car. 287 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,811 He'll never catch it, 288 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,081 and even if he did, he couldn't drive it. 289 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,184 He's still doing better than you. 290 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,855 Everyone, I'd like you to meet our new student, Jake. 291 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,290 GIRLS: Hi, Jake. 292 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,826 Yeah. Hi. 293 00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,862 Okay, let's start in first position. 294 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,063 Jake, do you know first position? 295 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:13,901 Is that like missionary position? 296 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:20,941 One... and two... 297 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:24,211 and three... and four. 298 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,851 I will never forgive you for this. 299 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,619 He's having a great time. 300 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,923 ( under breath ): The clueless knucklehead. 301 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,058 Okay, very nice, class. 302 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,828 Yeah, good hustle, everybody. 303 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,295 You're much better, Jake. 304 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,098 That's 'cause I have a good teacher. 305 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,399 Thank you. 306 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,101 All right, that's it for this week. 307 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,670 And remember, life is a dance. Live it gracefully. 308 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,239 That's my motto. 309 00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,879 Well, that settles it, 310 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,614 I want to be a ballet dancer when I grow up. 311 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,983 Really? 312 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,451 There's a load off my mind. 313 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,286 It's not as easy as it looks, you know. 314 00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:07,154 It's pretty hard. 315 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,090 It's pretty hard to watch. 316 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,959 Thanks. 317 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:16,029 Did you see how far Mia could put her leg over her head? 318 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,066 I did notice that, yes. 319 00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,667 So what do you think? 320 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,035 Fred Astaire or Fred Flintstone? 321 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,671 He's got a lot of enthusiasm. 322 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:25,805 Yeah, he gets that from me. 323 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,474 I thought you were his uncle. 324 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,310 Well, that's the whole nature-nurture debate, isn't it? 325 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,244 So, listen, Mia... 326 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,046 I'm not going out with you, Charlie. 327 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,582 I know that. You made it very clear. 328 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,318 My question was, is there any more we can do to help Jake? 329 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,921 Extra classes, private tutoring, 330 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:43,290 the three of us in Cabo for a long weekend? 331 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,692 If he comes to class regularly 332 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,328 I think you'll be amazed at his progress. 333 00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,931 Good. I'd hate to think he's peaked. 334 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,532 In fact, we're having a recital next month, 335 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,903 and with a lot of work and a little luck we can include him. 336 00:13:58,605 --> 00:13:59,839 Charlie to base camp. 337 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,241 ( imitates radio static ) 338 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,111 Pretty cold up here. Visibility zero. 339 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,981 ( orchestra playing waltz ) 340 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,522 ( orchestra playing waltz ) 341 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,536 ( classical music playing ) 342 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,612 ( classical music playing ) 343 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:11,111 * 344 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:22,655 * 345 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:04,564 * 346 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,949 I hope you like this. 347 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:25,118 It's an impertinent little Cabernet 348 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,853 with oaky overtones 349 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,921 and just a hint of a floral finish. 350 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,923 Wow, you really know your wine. 351 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,893 No, I just read it off the box. 352 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,362 So, what's the plan, 353 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,197 get me drunk and take advantage of me? 354 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,732 Oh, good, you've done this before. 355 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,273 I had a very nice time tonight. 356 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,742 Was it worth all the trouble I put you through? 357 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,244 You tell me. 358 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:54,147 Ask me again in the morning. 359 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:56,916 Charlie to base camp. 360 00:16:56,983 --> 00:17:00,120 I can see the summit. 361 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:04,091 Hey. 362 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,025 Hey, Jake. 363 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:07,794 What are you doing up? 364 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,229 Why shouldn't I be up? 365 00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:11,331 Well, isn't it a little past your bedtime? 366 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,965 I don't know what you're talking about. 367 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,069 I don't have a bedtime. 368 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,337 Okay. 369 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,738 So what's going on? 370 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:19,772 Not too much. 371 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,208 Where's your dad, Jake? 372 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:24,477 I don't know. Why don't you go look for him? 373 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,948 Look, Jake, Mia and I are kind of busy right now. 374 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,750 Busy doing what? 375 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:31,751 Talking. 376 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,052 Okay. 377 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,355 What are we talking about? 378 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,056 We're not talking about anything. 379 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,025 You're going to bed. 380 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,560 Why don't we let Mia decide. 381 00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:41,528 Jake, sweetheart, 382 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,196 I think you should go to bed. 383 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,297 Are you sure? 384 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,366 You don't have to decide right now. 385 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,268 Your uncle and I would like to spend 386 00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:49,969 some alone time together. 387 00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,804 Oh. 388 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,073 All right. 389 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,743 You want me to tuck you in? 390 00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:01,648 I'm too old to get tucked in, you... you ass-face! 391 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:06,853 Okay, then. Sleep tight, little camper. 392 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,158 Kids, huh? 393 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,526 Yeah, kids. 394 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,330 He never called me an ass-face before. 395 00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,532 I think he's a little jealous. 396 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,767 Yeah. 397 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,404 I remember feeling like that when I was his age. 398 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,238 Really? 399 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,674 The cafeteria lady. 400 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:32,445 Looked like Valerie Bertinelli, but you know, with a hairnet 401 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:36,483 and just the cutest whisper of a mustache. 402 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:39,252 She didn't know I was alive. 403 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,687 You poor thing. 404 00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,356 I'm sorry, Mia, I can't... 405 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:44,724 I can't do this to him. 406 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,393 Do what to him? 407 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,861 One afternoon I saw the cafeteria lady 408 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:52,098 holding hands with the shop teacher in the parking lot, 409 00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:53,600 and it just killed me. 410 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,735 Mr. Danopoli. 411 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,704 I'll never forget it. 412 00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,840 She was holding the hand with the missing thumb. 413 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,377 You know what? 414 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,246 I've got to take you home. 415 00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:07,480 I understand. 416 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:08,315 You do? 417 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,882 You love Jake. 418 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,118 You'd rather give up spending the night with me 419 00:19:12,185 --> 00:19:13,620 than risk hurting his feelings. 420 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:14,487 Right. 421 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,324 Although, when you spell it out like that 422 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,392 it sounds incredibly stupid. 423 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,694 You're a very sweet man. 424 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,396 Thank you. 425 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,306 I was kidding. Let's go upstairs. 426 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,108 Charlie, take me home. 427 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,144 No, no, no. Let's talk about this. 428 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,912 He's 11. He'll get over it. 429 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,649 I got over One-Thumb Danopoli. 430 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,459 You asleep? 431 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:57,063 You can quit faking. I took her home. 432 00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,799 Really? 433 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,167 Yeah. 434 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,068 How come? 435 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,271 It's part of the guy code. 436 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:05,572 When two friends like the same girl, 437 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,640 one of them has to step aside. 438 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,677 Unless she's a good sport, 439 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,179 in which case it's like Saturday morning at the bakery. 440 00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:16,483 That's a complicated code. 441 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,285 Don't worry about it. 442 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:21,588 Bottom line is-- I'm out of the Mia business. 443 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,689 Cool. 444 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,357 Now go to sleep. 445 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,193 Uncle Charlie? 446 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,295 Yeah? 447 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:31,764 I'm sorry I called you an ass-face. 448 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,200 Yeah. 449 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,636 I forgot about that. 450 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,748 ( classical music playing ) 451 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,878 No woman is worth this. 452 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,350 I am so proud. 453 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,585 Our little boy is growing up.