1 00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:03,345 Can't we just go home? 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,228 If I gotta drag you to the doctor at 8 in the morning... 3 00:00:06,395 --> 00:00:08,515 ...you can cool your jets while I get coffee. 4 00:00:08,686 --> 00:00:10,143 I must look like an idiot. 5 00:00:10,352 --> 00:00:11,928 Wish I could tell you different. 6 00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:15,307 You're the reason we went to the eye doctor in the first place. 7 00:00:15,518 --> 00:00:17,474 You said, "Throw me a piece of toast." 8 00:00:19,518 --> 00:00:21,176 I threw you a piece of toast. 9 00:00:22,101 --> 00:00:23,841 Two cups of regular coffee, please. 10 00:00:24,518 --> 00:00:27,184 - My treat. - Oh, that makes up for everything. 11 00:00:27,351 --> 00:00:30,717 Pigeons can feed out of my eye socket, but I get a free cup of coffee. 12 00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:35,301 Just the coffee. Keep the change. 13 00:00:35,808 --> 00:00:38,380 I'm gonna need your help until I get this patch off. 14 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,134 I am absolutely there for you. 15 00:00:43,183 --> 00:00:45,054 Great. 16 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:50,628 Great. So... 17 00:00:50,807 --> 00:00:53,757 So you'll drive me to work, pick me up, get Jake at school... 18 00:00:53,973 --> 00:00:56,806 ...do the grocery shopping... - Okay, I may have misspoken. 19 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:00,505 Charlie, you have to. You know I can't drive. 20 00:01:05,139 --> 00:01:07,426 I don't see why not. 21 00:01:09,639 --> 00:01:11,843 - Oh, look who's here. - Who? 22 00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,711 A girl I used to go out with. Over there. 23 00:01:15,722 --> 00:01:17,179 Hey, Sherri. 24 00:01:17,347 --> 00:01:20,463 - Hey, Charlie, long time. - Yeah. Good to see you. 25 00:01:20,639 --> 00:01:22,296 - This is my brother, Alan. - Hi. 26 00:01:22,471 --> 00:01:24,214 - Hi. - What happened to your eye? 27 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,132 Well, I wanted a piece of toast, and... 28 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,011 Bar fight. 29 00:01:30,304 --> 00:01:32,508 - Nice to meet you. - Well, nice meeting you too. 30 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,469 - Good to see you, Charlie. - Good to see you too. 31 00:01:37,471 --> 00:01:39,793 - Wow, you went out with her? - Yep. 32 00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:42,091 Why would you stop? 33 00:01:42,428 --> 00:01:44,667 I don't remember. I probably got bored. 34 00:01:44,845 --> 00:01:46,670 Bored? How do you get bored with that? 35 00:01:46,887 --> 00:01:49,919 For every beautiful woman, there's at least one guy out there... 36 00:01:50,094 --> 00:01:53,875 ...who's tired of pretending to listen to her in exchange for sex. 37 00:01:54,219 --> 00:01:57,418 Well, let me go on record as saying, I am not that guy. 38 00:01:57,635 --> 00:02:00,586 If I ever had a woman like that, I would cherish her. 39 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,252 I would worship her. I would... 40 00:02:02,427 --> 00:02:06,255 ...start a small country and put her face on a stamp so I could lick her head. 41 00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:09,755 - Why don't you go talk to her. - Yeah, right. 42 00:02:09,927 --> 00:02:13,172 Gorgeous women like that are not interested in pasty guys like me... 43 00:02:13,343 --> 00:02:15,547 ...unless we're in line for the British throne. 44 00:02:16,175 --> 00:02:19,671 - So you give up without even trying? - Yep. That's my motto. 45 00:02:19,883 --> 00:02:23,462 Why waste time on 10s when you're already getting rejected by sixes? 46 00:02:24,050 --> 00:02:28,174 Alan, listen to me. You are a smart, sensitive, good-Iooking man... 47 00:02:28,341 --> 00:02:30,830 ...with some milky discharge coming out of one eye... 48 00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:32,749 ...but who amongst us is perfect? 49 00:02:32,965 --> 00:02:35,206 That's the other thing. Look at me. I'm a mess. 50 00:02:35,424 --> 00:02:38,955 So? Women like Sherri have big, hunky guys hitting on them all day long. 51 00:02:39,132 --> 00:02:42,497 A guy like you walks up, makes a move, you know what that says to her? 52 00:02:43,174 --> 00:02:44,548 Trick or treat? 53 00:02:46,298 --> 00:02:49,498 It says, "I'm confident in who I am." 54 00:02:49,715 --> 00:02:51,788 - You think? - I know. 55 00:02:51,965 --> 00:02:55,295 So, what if she's not interested. What's the worst that could happen? 56 00:02:55,465 --> 00:02:58,912 Actually, the worst that could happen is she points at me... 57 00:02:59,089 --> 00:03:02,537 ...and laughs, causing every seventh grader in the cafeteria to turn... 58 00:03:02,714 --> 00:03:04,918 ...and watch me slink back to the geek table... 59 00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:07,576 ...with a growing wet spot on the front of my chinos. 60 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,753 We ninth graders enjoyed it also. 61 00:03:11,337 --> 00:03:14,502 But you're not in junior high anymore, and you're not a... 62 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,535 You're not in junior high anymore. 63 00:03:17,712 --> 00:03:20,201 - It's time to let go of those fears. - I don't know. 64 00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:21,659 Oh, come on, Alan. 65 00:03:21,879 --> 00:03:25,540 For once in your life, don't settle. Go for what you really want. 66 00:03:29,127 --> 00:03:32,244 You know what? You're right. I'm gonna go talk to her. 67 00:03:32,752 --> 00:03:34,246 Hold on. 68 00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:36,161 Let's clean some of that discharge. 69 00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:39,705 You wanna say "I'm confident," not "I'm infectious." 70 00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:43,085 There. Go get her. 71 00:03:47,668 --> 00:03:51,958 Hey, you see that guy over there? Twenty bucks says he wets himself. 72 00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:14,531 - Hello. - Hi. 73 00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:16,829 - Alan? - I remember. 74 00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:20,208 Look, I needed to come clean about something. 75 00:04:21,374 --> 00:04:24,621 I wasn't actually in a bar fight. 76 00:04:24,874 --> 00:04:27,871 I took a piece of whole-wheat toast to the eye. 77 00:04:28,457 --> 00:04:31,123 I mean, it was cut diagonally and toasted well... 78 00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:33,197 ...so it was essentially shrapnel. 79 00:04:35,873 --> 00:04:37,532 Did some real damage. 80 00:04:37,748 --> 00:04:41,409 I see. And why do you feel the need to tell me all this? 81 00:04:41,622 --> 00:04:44,952 Well, I guess I didn't want our relationship to start on a lie. 82 00:04:45,164 --> 00:04:46,905 Our relationship? 83 00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,620 - I'll go now. - No, no, wait. 84 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,198 Sit down. Join me. 85 00:04:53,037 --> 00:04:54,365 Okay. 86 00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:29,612 - That's it. I'm out. - Oh, come on. 87 00:05:30,327 --> 00:05:31,654 No, no, no. No more. 88 00:05:31,868 --> 00:05:33,527 You got a date. Leave it alone. 89 00:05:33,743 --> 00:05:35,864 Not just a date. A date with... 90 00:05:40,576 --> 00:05:42,234 Enough. 91 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,076 - I'd think you'd be happy for me. - I am happy for you. 92 00:05:45,243 --> 00:05:46,901 You had the courage to walk over... 93 00:05:47,076 --> 00:05:49,742 ...with your pus-filled eye and fall on your ass... 94 00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:54,234 ...and still got a date with one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. 95 00:05:54,408 --> 00:05:56,943 - I'm not only happy for you, I'm proud. - Thank you. 96 00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:59,860 Now, I have to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew... 97 00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:03,480 ...about men, women, relationships, God and the universe. 98 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:06,654 But that's not your problem. 99 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,941 Charlie, I am as surprised as you that she said yes. 100 00:06:10,699 --> 00:06:12,191 I don't think so. 101 00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:17,108 I was really intimidated, but as it turns out, she's just like a regular person... 102 00:06:17,282 --> 00:06:21,026 ...except for, you know, being from the planet: 103 00:06:22,823 --> 00:06:25,489 Alan, never do that around me again. 104 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:29,812 You know, actually, we have a lot in common. 105 00:06:30,073 --> 00:06:32,027 Okay. I'll bite. 106 00:06:32,239 --> 00:06:34,313 Well, we both went through tough divorces. 107 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:36,734 - Sherri was married? - You didn't know that? 108 00:06:36,905 --> 00:06:39,523 - It never came up. - What did come up? 109 00:06:39,696 --> 00:06:41,189 Never mind. Scratch that. 110 00:06:41,905 --> 00:06:43,482 Where should I take her to dinner? 111 00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:46,184 Where did you go so I can take her somewhere else? 112 00:06:46,403 --> 00:06:49,521 Last thing you want is for her to start comparing you to me. 113 00:06:49,738 --> 00:06:51,729 Exactly. 114 00:06:51,904 --> 00:06:53,941 Wait. 115 00:06:54,112 --> 00:06:55,440 What do you mean? 116 00:06:56,196 --> 00:06:58,399 You want your relationship to stand on its own. 117 00:06:58,612 --> 00:07:01,065 - Right. - Well, that's what I meant. 118 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:05,686 Okay. I thought you were trying to rub my nose in the fact that you dated her. 119 00:07:06,319 --> 00:07:08,357 Alan, I would never do that. 120 00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:10,146 Well, thank you. 121 00:07:11,027 --> 00:07:13,149 I don't have to. 122 00:07:16,902 --> 00:07:19,391 You think you could kill a guy with a piece of toast? 123 00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:20,848 No. 124 00:07:21,069 --> 00:07:23,307 Because if you did, you could eat the toast. 125 00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:26,483 The police would never find the weapon. It's the perfect crime. 126 00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:29,726 And part of a nutritious breakfast. 127 00:07:29,943 --> 00:07:33,060 Okay, guys, I guess I'll see you later. 128 00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,810 Where you going? 129 00:07:34,984 --> 00:07:36,476 - Out for dinner. - With who? 130 00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,108 Jake, look, I think... 131 00:07:42,276 --> 00:07:45,392 I think you're old enough to know that your dad's not just a dad. 132 00:07:45,609 --> 00:07:48,143 He's also a man and that... 133 00:07:48,358 --> 00:07:50,513 ...even though I'm not married to your mom... 134 00:07:50,733 --> 00:07:53,647 ...I still enjoy the company of women... 135 00:07:53,816 --> 00:07:57,347 ...which means that I will occasionally go out with one. 136 00:07:57,566 --> 00:08:00,479 But the important thing for you to understand... 137 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:03,558 ...is that I am not trying to replace your mother. 138 00:08:03,732 --> 00:08:06,397 In fact, no one can replace your mother. 139 00:08:08,065 --> 00:08:11,478 I bet you could kill a guy with a piece of bacon. 140 00:08:13,814 --> 00:08:16,054 All right, then. I'm glad we had this talk. 141 00:08:16,689 --> 00:08:19,770 I'm gonna go post my plan on the Internet. 142 00:08:21,854 --> 00:08:23,763 You know, there's moments around here... 143 00:08:23,939 --> 00:08:26,640 ...that make me wish I had a son of my own. 144 00:08:26,812 --> 00:08:28,353 That wasn't one of them. 145 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,011 Yeah, well. Anyway, I really appreciate you watching him tonight. 146 00:08:33,188 --> 00:08:34,466 No problem. 147 00:08:36,771 --> 00:08:39,602 - How you getting to the restaurant? - Sherri's picking me up. 148 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,221 - Very convenient. - Why? 149 00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:44,801 Because she's been here before? Been here with you? 150 00:08:44,979 --> 00:08:48,178 Because you've had sex with her in every room in the house? 151 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,894 No, because you can't drive. 152 00:08:51,353 --> 00:08:53,724 But it's interesting to see how your mind works. 153 00:08:56,978 --> 00:09:00,224 Alan, let me give you some advice. 154 00:09:01,228 --> 00:09:05,516 Alcohol impairs your ability to make good decisions. 155 00:09:05,685 --> 00:09:08,848 We don't want you to lose that ability. We want her to. 156 00:09:10,602 --> 00:09:13,055 Of course. Very good. 157 00:09:13,226 --> 00:09:14,553 What else? 158 00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:18,181 Well, women like Sherri already know they're beautiful and desirable. 159 00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:21,265 - You won't score points by telling her. - Okay. 160 00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,259 Don't be in a hurry to spill your guts. 161 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:25,133 She doesn't need your life story... 162 00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:27,181 ...before you get the salad. - Got it. 163 00:09:27,393 --> 00:09:30,722 As someone who knows your life story, I'd say she doesn't need to hear it at all. 164 00:09:31,809 --> 00:09:35,091 Right, right. I'll be cool, aloof, distant. 165 00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:38,557 She's here, she's here, she's here! 166 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,381 What about the... What... What... 167 00:09:46,099 --> 00:09:47,556 What about the kiss goodnight? 168 00:09:47,724 --> 00:09:49,927 - Should I ask or just go for it? - Go for it. 169 00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:52,670 Don't wait until the last minute. It creates pressure. 170 00:09:52,849 --> 00:09:54,802 - Get it out of the way early. - How early? 171 00:09:55,014 --> 00:09:57,005 After dinner, when you walk to the car... 172 00:09:57,182 --> 00:09:59,669 ...open her door, wait for her to say thank you... 173 00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:02,170 ...smile, lean in, and kiss her. 174 00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,506 Oh, nice. 175 00:10:11,638 --> 00:10:13,463 Hi, Alan. You ready? 176 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:17,543 You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I don't deserve you. 177 00:10:20,012 --> 00:10:22,466 That's another way to go. 178 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,959 - Madam. - Thank you. 179 00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:34,422 - Sir. - Oh, thank you. 180 00:10:38,678 --> 00:10:40,335 - Would you like the wine list? - No. 181 00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:43,509 I'll have the Woodbridge Pinot Noir. Or should we get a bottle? 182 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,085 Oh, definitely get a bottle. 183 00:10:46,593 --> 00:10:48,584 Coffee for me. 184 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:55,584 You know, Sherri, I'd really like to see more of you. 185 00:10:55,801 --> 00:10:58,087 Maybe we should wait and see how tonight goes. 186 00:10:58,301 --> 00:11:01,465 No, I mean, I've only got one good eye. Could we change places? 187 00:11:02,342 --> 00:11:04,132 Oh, sure. 188 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:18,255 - Are you okay? - Oh, yes, yes. Fine. 189 00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:20,339 - This is a nice place. - Yeah. 190 00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:21,828 It's my favorite. 191 00:11:22,591 --> 00:11:24,381 You ever come here with Charlie? 192 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,875 I don't know. Probably. 193 00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:29,916 He's a big steak-eater. 194 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:35,754 I'm more of a fish guy. You know, I'm surf, he's turf. 195 00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:39,663 And we're cops. 196 00:11:41,423 --> 00:11:44,042 - You're very cute. - You too. 197 00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:47,917 All right. So tell me about yourself. 198 00:11:48,505 --> 00:11:51,374 Well, there's not a lot to tell. 199 00:11:51,547 --> 00:11:54,036 I was San Fernando Valley Chiropractor of the Year... 200 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,919 ...if you follow that kind of thing. 201 00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:57,588 Recently divorced. 202 00:11:57,797 --> 00:12:02,004 But not too recently. I've already had my rebound, transitional relationships. 203 00:12:02,171 --> 00:12:04,245 - So no worries there. - Good to know. 204 00:12:04,463 --> 00:12:06,702 Actually, it wasn't so much a relationship... 205 00:12:06,879 --> 00:12:11,417 ...as a case of mistaken identity, but I think it still counts. 206 00:12:11,962 --> 00:12:13,787 - Okay. - And... 207 00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:17,203 ...as you know, I live with Charlie... 208 00:12:17,379 --> 00:12:19,251 ...whom you've already... 209 00:12:20,169 --> 00:12:22,326 - Met? - Yeah, let's go with met. 210 00:12:23,629 --> 00:12:26,495 Alan, is my having dated Charlie gonna be a problem for you? 211 00:12:26,711 --> 00:12:31,368 No, no, no. A little. 212 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,829 Okay, look. Charlie and l... 213 00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:38,284 We had a very brief, superficial relationship. 214 00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:40,784 Okay? And to be honest, it was mostly about sex. 215 00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:43,036 Great. 216 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,824 My point is, yeah, I'm tired of those, those shallow relationships... 217 00:12:48,002 --> 00:12:50,075 ...I was having with guys like Charlie. 218 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:53,995 I wanna be with a man who can be sensitive and caring, nurturing. 219 00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:57,864 You know, somebody who can make me laugh, make me think. 220 00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:01,990 You do realize I'm straight, right? 221 00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:06,705 - See, you really are adorable. - Thank you. 222 00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,363 I tend to bring out the mothering instinct in women. 223 00:13:09,583 --> 00:13:12,249 - Oh, really? - Ironically, not my mother. 224 00:13:39,415 --> 00:13:40,740 What the hell are you doing? 225 00:13:40,955 --> 00:13:43,824 Check it out. Ninja death toast. 226 00:13:46,079 --> 00:13:47,786 Okay, stop it, stop it. 227 00:13:47,997 --> 00:13:50,319 You're in no position to give orders, Mr. Harper. 228 00:13:54,287 --> 00:13:56,823 - Morning. - Morning. 229 00:13:56,996 --> 00:14:00,905 - Death toast? - Oh, thank you. 230 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:06,233 - So how did it go last night? - Fine. 231 00:14:06,453 --> 00:14:07,780 That's it? Fine? 232 00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:11,656 Charlie, we're not in high school anymore. I'm not gonna go into detail. 233 00:14:11,870 --> 00:14:15,317 - Okay, don't tell me. - Jake, go watch TV. 234 00:14:17,162 --> 00:14:19,993 - I'm still hungry. - There's bread all over the living room. 235 00:14:20,577 --> 00:14:21,905 All right. 236 00:14:23,076 --> 00:14:24,451 - Well? - It went great. 237 00:14:24,619 --> 00:14:27,949 She said I'm adorable. She thinks I'm nurturing, caring and sensitive. 238 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:31,862 - I'm exactly what she's looking for. - She's looking for a half-blind sheepdog? 239 00:14:32,743 --> 00:14:35,314 She invited me to her house for dinner tonight. 240 00:14:35,493 --> 00:14:38,774 - I think she wants to have sex. - With who? 241 00:14:38,993 --> 00:14:41,564 - With me. - With you. 242 00:14:41,743 --> 00:14:42,904 Hang on a second. 243 00:14:47,075 --> 00:14:49,741 Nope. No snowballs reported in hell. 244 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,778 No sightings of flying pigs. 245 00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,522 - What am I gonna do? - You don't know? 246 00:14:56,699 --> 00:14:58,821 Come on, Alan, you were married for 12 years. 247 00:14:59,033 --> 00:15:01,437 What does marriage have to do with sex? 248 00:15:01,616 --> 00:15:04,317 Point taken. Okay, you want some tips? 249 00:15:04,531 --> 00:15:07,151 No, no, nothing like that. 250 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,151 I need step-by-step instructions. 251 00:15:10,657 --> 00:15:13,773 All right. Since this is your first bout in this weight class... 252 00:15:13,948 --> 00:15:15,737 ...I'd say stick with the basics. 253 00:15:15,947 --> 00:15:19,563 Better to do the simple stuff well than the fancy stuff badly. 254 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:22,227 Got it. And the simple stuff would be... 255 00:15:23,031 --> 00:15:26,063 Well, you know how women like you to go slow? 256 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:30,060 Really? My ex-wife put a premium on brevity. 257 00:15:30,405 --> 00:15:33,605 Her motto was, " Less is more, and none is perfect." 258 00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:37,195 Well, Sherri's not like that. You're gonna wanna take your time. 259 00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:40,237 - I can do that. - But don't loiter either. 260 00:15:40,447 --> 00:15:43,859 You don't want her to get bored and play solitaire on your head. 261 00:15:44,738 --> 00:15:46,810 No loitering. Got it. 262 00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:52,351 - Something else? - Okay. 263 00:15:52,529 --> 00:15:55,858 When you're with a woman like Sherri, who's so gosh-darn beautiful... 264 00:15:56,028 --> 00:15:58,599 ...that you get excited just thinking about her... 265 00:15:59,028 --> 00:16:03,814 ...how do you keep the sprinklers from going off while you're still mowing? 266 00:16:06,318 --> 00:16:08,772 Let me make sure I understand. 267 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:14,023 You wanna keep your toothpaste in the tube until you're done brushing. 268 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,065 What are you talking about? 269 00:16:17,652 --> 00:16:21,894 - What are you talking about? - Okay, okay. Let me try again. 270 00:16:22,402 --> 00:16:27,391 I don't wanna frost the cake while I'm still mixing the batter. 271 00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:30,556 I don't get it. She must have lost a bet. 272 00:16:30,775 --> 00:16:33,098 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 273 00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:36,641 All right. Here's what you do. 274 00:16:40,316 --> 00:16:43,978 When you feel like the train is leaving the station... 275 00:16:44,191 --> 00:16:46,395 You mean, going in the tunnel? 276 00:16:46,608 --> 00:16:48,764 No, no, I mean leaving the station. 277 00:16:48,982 --> 00:16:51,849 But you have to leave the station to get to the tunnel. 278 00:16:53,065 --> 00:16:55,222 Okay, okay. 279 00:16:55,399 --> 00:16:56,772 Let's start from the top. 280 00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:59,476 And work our way down, right? 281 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:06,222 You know what? Just shut up and listen. 282 00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:10,346 When you're making love, the way to slow yourself down is... 283 00:17:10,522 --> 00:17:12,892 ...to think of something completely non-sexual. 284 00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:16,388 - Well, what do you think of? - You. 285 00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:36,521 That was a really great dinner. 286 00:17:37,562 --> 00:17:40,476 I'm glad you enjoyed it. You ready for dessert? 287 00:17:40,686 --> 00:17:42,677 I've been ready since I was 14. 288 00:17:45,436 --> 00:17:47,759 I'll be back. Why don't you put some music on. 289 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,594 Okay. 290 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,053 Hey, how about Diana Krall? 291 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:17,130 Oh, actually, that's your brother's CD. Do you mind bringing it back to him? 292 00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:18,546 Not at all. 293 00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:22,762 I think I have one of his T-shirts. You might as well take that too. 294 00:18:22,933 --> 00:18:25,007 No problem. 295 00:18:25,224 --> 00:18:27,298 Hey, this is a cool, little CD player. 296 00:18:27,517 --> 00:18:30,846 Oh, thanks. It was a gift from your... It was a gift. 297 00:18:32,016 --> 00:18:33,343 Perfect. 298 00:18:33,558 --> 00:18:36,591 Is there anything else Charlie left behind? 299 00:18:39,016 --> 00:18:40,556 Just me. 300 00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,556 My brother's a fool. 301 00:18:46,765 --> 00:18:48,921 No argument here. 302 00:18:51,472 --> 00:18:55,881 - That is a very effective negligée. - Thank you. 303 00:18:56,055 --> 00:18:58,130 - Was it a gift? - No. 304 00:18:58,306 --> 00:19:01,552 - As a matter of fact, I bought it myself. - Oh, good. 305 00:19:03,638 --> 00:19:05,879 - How long ago? - What? 306 00:19:06,097 --> 00:19:08,383 Well, I was just wondering if Charlie saw it. 307 00:19:09,304 --> 00:19:11,094 Alan, don't go there. 308 00:19:11,721 --> 00:19:14,636 Oh, I wasn't going anywhere. It's just that... 309 00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:19,211 - Nothing. More kissing. - Okay, okay. 310 00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:22,795 What exactly is bothering you? 311 00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:26,380 Well, it's kind of hard to explain. 312 00:19:26,929 --> 00:19:30,508 For example, once, when Charlie and I were at camp... 313 00:19:30,679 --> 00:19:34,338 ...I lost my swim trunks, and I had to wear an old pair of Charlie's, and... 314 00:19:34,510 --> 00:19:37,047 ...I just couldn't enjoy the pool at all. 315 00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:42,168 So, what are you saying? I'm a pair of used swim trunks? 316 00:19:42,386 --> 00:19:46,330 No, no. In this case, I think you would be the pool. 317 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,169 Maybe this was a bad idea. 318 00:19:49,343 --> 00:19:51,666 No, no, it's a great idea. It's right up there... 319 00:19:51,843 --> 00:19:55,339 ...with the wheel, fire and refrigerators that give ice through the door. 320 00:19:55,552 --> 00:19:58,122 - Sorry. I don't wanna do this anymore. - What? Why? 321 00:19:58,342 --> 00:20:02,336 You can't be with me without it being some competition with your brother. 322 00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:04,341 It's not a competition. 323 00:20:04,509 --> 00:20:08,254 And even it was, shouldn't we do it first before you decide who wins? 324 00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:10,335 You are unbelievable. 325 00:20:10,549 --> 00:20:13,750 - That could be taken a couple of ways. - Get out. 326 00:20:13,925 --> 00:20:16,792 Well, no ambiguity there. 327 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,790 Don't forget your brother's CD. 328 00:20:20,258 --> 00:20:22,213 My eye! 329 00:20:28,715 --> 00:20:30,954 Man, I love sunsets. 330 00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:35,421 The way the sky is streaked with color. It's amazing. 331 00:20:40,589 --> 00:20:43,918 It's the pollution that makes those pretty colors, you know. 332 00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:49,415 What you're enjoying is the effect of light passing through airborne poison. 333 00:20:52,048 --> 00:20:56,371 No, that's not what I'm really enjoying. 334 00:21:00,546 --> 00:21:02,334 Boy, I hope that's guacamole.