1
00:00:03,222 --> 00:00:05,596
- What's that?
- My high school yearbook.
2
00:00:05,769 --> 00:00:08,606
Hey, do you remember a
girl named Jamie Eckelberry?
3
00:00:08,774 --> 00:00:10,518
- No.
- Yeah, sure you do.
4
00:00:10,694 --> 00:00:12,902
She used to hang out
at the house all the time.
5
00:00:13,073 --> 00:00:16,326
Oh, yeah. Eckelberry Hound.
6
00:00:17,248 --> 00:00:19,657
Not a name she was fond of.
7
00:00:19,878 --> 00:00:24,626
Hey, I didn't make it up.
I just spread it around. What about her?
8
00:00:24,803 --> 00:00:28,009
Oh, she called the alumni association
and tracked me down.
9
00:00:28,184 --> 00:00:32,055
How does that work? They let her
sniff one of your sweaters?
10
00:00:32,274 --> 00:00:35,978
She e-mailed me. She's in town
on business, and I invited her over.
11
00:00:36,199 --> 00:00:40,330
Great. I'll get out of your way.
Just keep her off the good rug.
12
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:44,077
Very funny. No. For your
information, it's not a date.
13
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:47,294
She's just a friend who has become
very successful in her field.
14
00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:51,678
Oh, that's nice that she
has a field to run around in.
15
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:56,641
- It's getting old, Charlie.
- In people years or dog years?
16
00:00:57,947 --> 00:01:00,866
Sorry. Oh, look.
You remember Miss Hanrahan?
17
00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:05,327
- Sure. I had her for sophomore English.
- I had her in the teachers' lounge.
18
00:01:07,046 --> 00:01:09,540
Oh, that's Jamie. Be nice.
19
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:12,799
I'm always nice. Ask Miss Hanrahan.
20
00:01:13,976 --> 00:01:16,302
- I'm serious.
- Relax. I'm just gonna say hello...
21
00:01:16,481 --> 00:01:19,152
...scratch her behind the ear,
and then I'm out of here.
22
00:01:21,113 --> 00:01:22,989
- You done with the dog jokes?
- Yes.
23
00:01:23,201 --> 00:01:26,370
- Good.
- I hope she looks fetching.
24
00:01:28,461 --> 00:01:31,713
Okay, I guess I had one more.
25
00:01:33,804 --> 00:01:35,844
- Alan.
- Jamie.
26
00:02:04,693 --> 00:02:09,158
Do you remember how Stuart Negelman
used to tell everybody you were gay?
27
00:02:09,368 --> 00:02:11,659
Don't remind me.
I had one Boy George album...
28
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:14,787
...and suddenly
I'm queen of the fairies.
29
00:02:15,003 --> 00:02:17,497
You'll be happy to know
I ran into him in New York.
30
00:02:17,675 --> 00:02:21,011
- And? Knew it.
- Gay.
31
00:02:21,348 --> 00:02:23,556
Okay, here we go.
32
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:27,599
Two margaritas,
and a rum and Diet Coke.
33
00:02:27,777 --> 00:02:29,937
- Thank you, Charlie.
- You're welcome.
34
00:02:30,949 --> 00:02:32,991
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
35
00:02:36,376 --> 00:02:41,124
So Stuart Negelman: Buttoned-down,
or singing show tunes on a float?
36
00:02:41,343 --> 00:02:44,050
Very macho. Owns a gym in SoHo.
37
00:02:44,223 --> 00:02:46,847
Speaking of which, you look
like you're in good shape.
38
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:50,855
- I have kept up with the hacky sack.
- Good for you.
39
00:02:51,028 --> 00:02:54,316
And you. I cannot get over what
a beautiful woman you've become.
40
00:02:54,534 --> 00:02:59,200
- Oh, stop it. You're embarrassing me.
- Too bad. It's true.
41
00:03:04,301 --> 00:03:08,634
Charlie, that's lovely. You still play.
42
00:03:08,852 --> 00:03:10,597
Just professionally.
43
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:15,779
- You became a musician?
- More a composer. Gotta pay the bills.
44
00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:20,620
Play the jingle you wrote for the
feminine deodorant commercial.
45
00:03:21,207 --> 00:03:23,166
Okay.
46
00:03:23,587 --> 00:03:28,751
Fresh as a summer breeze
Clean as a mountain spring
47
00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:32,475
No. You wrote that? I love that.
48
00:03:33,355 --> 00:03:36,025
Hey, hey, did I tell you
that I was voted...
49
00:03:36,193 --> 00:03:39,529
...Chiropractor of the Year by the San
Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association?
50
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,579
Oh, that's fantastic, Alan.
You must be very proud.
51
00:03:42,788 --> 00:03:47,917
Well, it's not pride so much as the
satisfaction I get from helping people.
52
00:03:49,217 --> 00:03:52,671
Carefree, so carefree
53
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:56,593
What every woman wants to be
54
00:03:59,318 --> 00:04:02,072
Hey. Hey, you know
what would be fun?
55
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:05,447
A session of Dungeons & Dragons.
Like the old days, you know?
56
00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:09,753
- Just the two of us.
- Wow, I haven't played in years.
57
00:04:09,963 --> 00:04:12,336
Or we can go down to the beach
and go for a swim.
58
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,554
- I didn't bring a suit.
- So my plan is working.
59
00:04:17,477 --> 00:04:21,145
You know, I think I'll take a rain check.
Do you mind if I use your restroom?
60
00:04:21,359 --> 00:04:22,902
Down the hall on the right.
61
00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:24,779
Thank you.
62
00:04:28,663 --> 00:04:30,788
Don't you have enough women?
63
00:04:31,293 --> 00:04:35,210
No. Anyway, you said she
was just an old friend.
64
00:04:35,426 --> 00:04:37,052
Well, that was before I saw her.
65
00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:39,761
Come on, I spent years
laying the groundwork for this.
66
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:43,015
And yet you never erected
anything on the site.
67
00:04:43,231 --> 00:04:45,191
Because she didn't look like that then.
68
00:04:45,402 --> 00:04:47,278
Oh, shame on you, Alan Harper.
69
00:04:48,325 --> 00:04:51,493
Don't you know a woman is so much
more than what's on the outside?
70
00:04:51,706 --> 00:04:54,708
She's a mountain spring,
a summer breeze and I saw her first.
71
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,914
What are you, 11?
72
00:04:57,132 --> 00:05:01,133
Come on. She's smart, she's beautiful,
she's the kind of woman who...
73
00:05:01,347 --> 00:05:03,639
- You could never get?
- Exactly.
74
00:05:06,566 --> 00:05:08,809
Well, if she's that important to you.
75
00:05:09,029 --> 00:05:10,939
She is, she is. Very much.
76
00:05:11,115 --> 00:05:13,323
- Okay, fine. I'm out of it.
- Really?
77
00:05:13,537 --> 00:05:15,080
Happy birthday.
78
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:19,165
Isn't that presumptuous? You think you
can just give this woman as a gift?
79
00:05:19,339 --> 00:05:22,426
- Okay, forget it.
- No, no. Happy birthday to me.
80
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:28,102
Listen, I have an early meeting in the
morning, so I should probably get going.
81
00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:32,065
Oh, no, no. The night is so young,
and Charlie was just leaving.
82
00:05:32,237 --> 00:05:35,241
Yeah, if I don't start drinking now,
I'll be up all night.
83
00:05:36,119 --> 00:05:39,040
I really have to get going.
What about dinner tomorrow night?
84
00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:41,459
- That would be great.
- Okay, terrific.
85
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,670
Why don't the three of us
meet at 7?
86
00:05:44,092 --> 00:05:46,003
The... The three of us?
87
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,972
Oh, gee. Tomorrow night? I can't.
88
00:05:50,186 --> 00:05:54,140
Oh, come on, Charlie.
I'm only in town for a few days.
89
00:05:54,319 --> 00:05:57,489
It wouldn't be the same
without you. Right, Alan?
90
00:05:57,659 --> 00:06:01,410
That's... That's true.
It would be different. But still good.
91
00:06:01,624 --> 00:06:04,413
No, no, no. You guys have
a lot of catching up to do.
92
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:07,549
I insist. Charlie, you have to come.
93
00:06:07,719 --> 00:06:10,009
Well, if it's okay with Alan...
94
00:06:11,100 --> 00:06:13,427
Of course.
95
00:06:13,646 --> 00:06:17,647
Okay, great. Then I will
see you both tomorrow.
96
00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:19,233
- Okay.
- Thank you.
97
00:06:19,407 --> 00:06:21,817
- Can't wait.
- I know. Me too. Good night.
98
00:06:21,995 --> 00:06:23,490
Bye.
99
00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:30,631
So I'll get you something else
for your birthday.
100
00:06:30,844 --> 00:06:32,636
You like hookers?
101
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,474
Charlie, we agreed you're out.
Now stay out.
102
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:38,095
- All right, fine. I won't go.
- Thank you.
103
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:45,570
Wait! If you don't come,
she'll think I told you not to come.
104
00:06:45,788 --> 00:06:47,117
There is that possibility.
105
00:06:47,458 --> 00:06:50,130
That's your plan. To make me
look petty and insecure.
106
00:06:50,338 --> 00:06:52,747
Alan, I don't have to plan for that.
107
00:06:53,093 --> 00:06:57,010
Let me tell you something. You're coming
with us, whether you like it or not.
108
00:06:57,601 --> 00:06:59,477
All right.
109
00:07:00,314 --> 00:07:02,474
Wait!
110
00:07:03,403 --> 00:07:05,694
- We should take your new Mercedes.
- Fine.
111
00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:08,745
- I should drive it so she thinks it's mine.
- Okay.
112
00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:12,827
Wait!
113
00:07:13,046 --> 00:07:15,455
She'll never believe
I drive a Mercedes.
114
00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:19,424
You'll drive my old Volvo
so that she thinks it's yours.
115
00:07:19,641 --> 00:07:24,391
Whatever. That just means you'll
be sitting in the backseat alone.
116
00:07:24,985 --> 00:07:26,646
Wait!
117
00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:32,245
Charlie, I can't believe that after
all these years, you're still single.
118
00:07:32,456 --> 00:07:33,999
Well...
119
00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:39,878
It's not that hard to believe.
120
00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:44,304
I'm a selfish, promiscuous,
commitment-phobic man.
121
00:07:44,478 --> 00:07:49,274
Alan, on the other hand, is a very
generous, loyal, one-woman kind of guy.
122
00:07:50,948 --> 00:07:52,527
Guilty.
123
00:07:54,496 --> 00:07:57,037
Why doesn't that surprise me?
124
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,753
Now, what is surprising...
125
00:07:58,921 --> 00:08:03,171
...is to hear a man be so honest
and forthcoming about his flaws.
126
00:08:03,638 --> 00:08:07,971
Charlie, you are
a real breath of fresh air.
127
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,099
Guilty.
128
00:08:13,197 --> 00:08:17,993
But if you really want a breath
of fresh air, take a lungful of Alan.
129
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,878
He is a true gentleman.
130
00:08:23,090 --> 00:08:24,883
Oh, Alan's always been a gentleman.
131
00:08:25,052 --> 00:08:28,803
I remember one time we were kids. We
were in my bedroom playing Stratego...
132
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,762
...and my blouse came unbuttoned,
and Alan, instead of sneaking a peek...
133
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:39,032
...like a lot of guys would do, averted
his eyes and said, "Jamie, bosom."
134
00:08:39,578 --> 00:08:41,787
Really. Is that true, Alan?
135
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:45,786
Pretty much. We were
playing Boggle, not Stratego.
136
00:08:46,007 --> 00:08:49,759
Well, there you go.
A gentleman. A better man than I.
137
00:08:49,972 --> 00:08:54,934
Oh, don't put yourself down, Charlie.
You seem like a wonderful man to me.
138
00:08:55,399 --> 00:08:59,399
Yeah, but you heard him. I'm better.
139
00:09:02,703 --> 00:09:04,828
Excuse me.
140
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,095
I'll be right back.
I think he wants to talk.
141
00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:14,928
You know, you are such
a good brother.
142
00:09:15,143 --> 00:09:17,019
You have no idea.
143
00:09:22,239 --> 00:09:24,115
"Bosom"?
144
00:09:24,619 --> 00:09:26,529
Forget that.
What the hell are you doing?
145
00:09:26,706 --> 00:09:30,291
What? I'm trying to make you look
good. Turns out it's not that easy.
146
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,290
You look like you're trying
to make me look good...
147
00:09:33,468 --> 00:09:35,177
...but you're making you look good.
148
00:09:35,347 --> 00:09:37,922
I don't know how,
but that's the net result.
149
00:09:38,102 --> 00:09:40,559
- Alan, you're being ridiculous.
- Am I? I think not.
150
00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:43,402
From the minute we walked in,
you've been sabotaging me.
151
00:09:43,612 --> 00:09:46,948
- How?
- How? Look at where I'm sitting.
152
00:09:47,159 --> 00:09:50,163
- What? You wanted to sit next to her.
- Yeah, and you let me.
153
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:56,174
And now you get to stare into her eyes,
and I get to stare into her ear.
154
00:09:57,011 --> 00:09:59,171
What do you want from me?
Wanna change seats?
155
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,016
Sure. That won't look suspicious.
156
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:05,352
I'm just trying to help, Alan.
Well, how about that? I do have to pee.
157
00:10:07,655 --> 00:10:09,448
You wanna help me?
Stop talking me up.
158
00:10:09,618 --> 00:10:10,781
- It's killing me.
- Okay.
159
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,530
Stop putting yourself down.
That's killing me too.
160
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:16,503
- Got it.
- Just sit there and eat your dinner...
161
00:10:16,672 --> 00:10:18,001
...and I'll play your game.
162
00:10:18,174 --> 00:10:19,634
Fine.
163
00:10:19,802 --> 00:10:21,678
You wanna shake on it?
164
00:10:23,434 --> 00:10:25,512
You're disgusting.
165
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,938
Yeah, I'm disgusting.
166
00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:31,112
At least I'm not the one
taking a squirt on my shoe.
167
00:10:34,663 --> 00:10:37,951
Let me tell you something
about my brother.
168
00:10:38,127 --> 00:10:41,831
He puts himself down,
but he is truly a wonderful man.
169
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:47,055
I mean, here's a guy,
single, good-Iooking, talented...
170
00:10:47,228 --> 00:10:50,433
- Well, l...
- You're too modest.
171
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,607
Talented, a ton of money.
172
00:10:53,781 --> 00:10:57,402
And what does he do when his brother
and nephew need a place to live?
173
00:10:57,580 --> 00:11:01,627
Does he complain about us
cramping his style? No.
174
00:11:01,796 --> 00:11:05,547
He opens up his home, and his heart.
175
00:11:05,719 --> 00:11:08,427
And frankly, I don't know
which one is bigger.
176
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:14,688
You are an incredible human being.
177
00:11:16,489 --> 00:11:18,898
Can we get the damn check, please?
178
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:26,004
Wait till you meet Jake.
He's a great kid.
179
00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:28,084
You're gonna love him. Right, Charlie?
180
00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:32,089
Don't oversell him, Alan.
He mostly sits around and eats.
181
00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:34,096
What do you guys like to do together?
182
00:11:34,313 --> 00:11:38,563
Oh, we do all kinds
of father-son things.
183
00:11:38,738 --> 00:11:43,737
- We go to the movies...
- Where he sits and eats.
184
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:47,368
And we also build models...
185
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:51,667
You know, airplanes, and
fly them off the deck.
186
00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:54,760
- That sounds like fun.
- Oh, it is. Jake loves it.
187
00:11:54,933 --> 00:11:56,893
I mean, he is a great kid.
188
00:11:57,104 --> 00:11:59,432
I can't wait to meet him.
189
00:11:59,609 --> 00:12:01,687
How about tomorrow afternoon?
190
00:12:01,863 --> 00:12:04,487
- Tomorrow sounds great.
- Good, good. It's a date.
191
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,367
- So don't be late.
- Or we'll have to wait.
192
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,042
Oh, okay. Here we are.
193
00:12:14,219 --> 00:12:18,136
Thank you so much.
I had a wonderful time.
194
00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:23,272
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good night.
195
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:31,491
Good night, Charlie.
196
00:12:35,508 --> 00:12:37,051
Good night.
197
00:12:39,473 --> 00:12:41,716
To the Batcave, Alfred.
198
00:12:43,188 --> 00:12:44,767
Go to hell.
199
00:12:44,941 --> 00:12:47,980
I was just sitting here.
I didn't put her tongue in my mouth.
200
00:12:48,155 --> 00:12:49,734
You got tongue?
201
00:12:49,951 --> 00:12:52,658
Actually, looking back,
it was probably mine.
202
00:12:53,415 --> 00:12:55,540
Oh, relax. I'm just screwing with you.
203
00:12:55,711 --> 00:12:57,622
Besides, you're the one
who got the date.
204
00:12:57,798 --> 00:13:00,505
You had to pimp your kid
out to do it, but you got there.
205
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:04,008
Hey, hey, there is nothing wrong
with bragging on my son.
206
00:13:04,185 --> 00:13:07,141
He's a reflection of me,
and if that compensates...
207
00:13:07,315 --> 00:13:09,524
...for some of my social clumsiness...
208
00:13:09,737 --> 00:13:12,444
And maybe rustles up a little tail.
209
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,242
I am not pimping him out.
210
00:13:14,412 --> 00:13:17,332
Don't bark at me. I'm proud of you.
211
00:13:18,127 --> 00:13:21,166
Thank you. And make yourself
scarce tomorrow.
212
00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:25,045
- I don't need any more of your help.
- Fine. You're on your own.
213
00:13:25,223 --> 00:13:28,061
Now, hush up and drive
Miss Daisy home.
214
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,853
Okay, Sky Captain. Ready to go?
215
00:13:32,027 --> 00:13:33,440
I guess.
216
00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:35,323
See how he loves this?
217
00:13:36,828 --> 00:13:38,821
Pilot to copilot. Contact.
218
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,000
What?
219
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:45,459
- Contact.
- Why are you talking like that?
220
00:13:46,762 --> 00:13:49,220
Just... Just start the engine.
221
00:13:50,102 --> 00:13:52,476
Here we go. Ready for liftoff?
222
00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:54,856
It's not a rocket ship, Dad.
223
00:13:55,027 --> 00:13:57,521
I know that, Jake.
224
00:14:00,621 --> 00:14:03,030
Hey, it actually works.
225
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,002
Bring it up. Bring it up.
226
00:14:05,171 --> 00:14:07,331
- Okay.
- Come on, Jake, up, up. It's...
227
00:14:07,508 --> 00:14:08,968
- Don't yell.
- Give me that.
228
00:14:09,136 --> 00:14:10,881
- No, I'm doing it.
- Well, then do it.
229
00:14:11,098 --> 00:14:12,843
I am.
230
00:14:16,901 --> 00:14:18,776
Is that it?
231
00:14:19,698 --> 00:14:23,069
No, go get it, and we'll patch
her back up, like we always do.
232
00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:26,409
Can we just order
a pizza and watch TV?
233
00:14:26,626 --> 00:14:28,205
Go get the plane.
234
00:14:29,632 --> 00:14:31,341
This sucks.
235
00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:35,927
"This sucks." Isn't he a hoot?
236
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:39,641
He's great.
237
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,687
So...
238
00:14:42,864 --> 00:14:45,192
...here we are.
239
00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:47,030
Yep.
240
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:52,459
I just cannot get over
how much you've changed.
241
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:57,554
- You like?
- Yeah, me like. I mean... I mean, I like.
242
00:14:58,726 --> 00:15:00,103
So...
243
00:15:01,148 --> 00:15:02,940
...where's Charlie?
244
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:06,155
This is all I could find.
245
00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:11,197
- Guess who that is.
- No way.
246
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:14,877
- Way.
- What was going on with your hair?
247
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,878
It's called a Jeri curl.
248
00:15:19,097 --> 00:15:21,851
It was my Michael Jackson period.
249
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:23,854
Who's the tall guy next to you?
250
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,147
Oh, that's me, Jake.
251
00:15:27,863 --> 00:15:30,237
Oh, sorry.
252
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:32,534
Well, at least you look like a girl now.
253
00:15:33,164 --> 00:15:34,874
Thank you.
254
00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:37,121
Was Dad your boyfriend?
255
00:15:37,296 --> 00:15:39,457
Oh, no, no.
Jamie and I were just friends.
256
00:15:39,676 --> 00:15:42,383
Yeah, we were never that way.
257
00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:44,723
Are you that way now?
258
00:15:45,771 --> 00:15:49,272
- Why don't you go watch TV?
- Finally.
259
00:15:53,368 --> 00:15:56,372
You know, Jamie, I've been thinking.
260
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:59,994
You're single. I'm single.
Well, we have an awful lot in common.
261
00:16:00,214 --> 00:16:04,215
I mean, there's no reason
we couldn't try to be...
262
00:16:04,388 --> 00:16:07,141
...you know, more than friends.
263
00:16:07,352 --> 00:16:09,144
Is that something you'd want?
264
00:16:09,355 --> 00:16:11,314
Well...
265
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:15,778
- Hey.
- Oh, darn.
266
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,783
- Sorry to intrude.
- That's okay. It's good to see you.
267
00:16:18,956 --> 00:16:20,535
I thought you were gonna be busy.
268
00:16:20,751 --> 00:16:24,039
I was. I went to a movie,
shot some pool...
269
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:28,798
...bought a book, bought a shirt, drank
a bucket of coffee, read the book.
270
00:16:29,266 --> 00:16:31,938
And then it occurred to me:
"Hey, I have a home."
271
00:16:33,984 --> 00:16:36,274
Hey, Dad, can you microwave
some popcorn for me?
272
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:40,567
- Why can't you make it for yourself?
- Remember what happened last time?
273
00:16:40,745 --> 00:16:43,499
You're old enough to make
popcorn without starting a fire.
274
00:16:44,126 --> 00:16:45,752
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
275
00:16:49,178 --> 00:16:51,053
I'll be right back.
276
00:16:52,559 --> 00:16:55,016
So Jake's a great kid, isn't he?
277
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:57,190
Yeah, I suppose.
278
00:16:57,359 --> 00:17:01,111
I would never say this to Alan, but I
don't really care much for children.
279
00:17:03,537 --> 00:17:08,083
Well, the truth is, Alan's
not too fond of him either.
280
00:17:10,216 --> 00:17:12,626
He feeds the kid and keeps
a roof over his head...
281
00:17:12,804 --> 00:17:15,214
...but there's no
love lost between them.
282
00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:20,725
- Charlie, give it a rest.
- Sorry?
283
00:17:21,110 --> 00:17:22,856
Why do you push me towards Alan...
284
00:17:23,031 --> 00:17:25,274
...when it's obvious
how much you want me?
285
00:17:27,372 --> 00:17:29,699
He's got a birthday coming up.
286
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:35,593
Just tell me you want me.
287
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,138
Go ahead, Charlie. Tell her.
288
00:17:39,352 --> 00:17:43,934
What? No, no. You two, with the
Dungeons, the Dragons, the Boggle.
289
00:17:44,111 --> 00:17:45,523
You should be together.
290
00:17:45,739 --> 00:17:49,324
Clearly she wants you, so let's be
grown-up, and I'll get out of the way...
291
00:17:49,496 --> 00:17:51,787
...so the two pretty people can mate.
292
00:17:52,376 --> 00:17:54,454
No, no, no, no.
You laid the foundation...
293
00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:57,550
...and you should, you know,
lay the rest of it.
294
00:17:57,761 --> 00:18:01,132
I appreciate what you're trying to do,
but I am stepping aside...
295
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,510
- No, no. I'm stepping aside.
- No, no. I am.
296
00:18:03,688 --> 00:18:05,897
No, no, I'll step aside.
I will clear the way.
297
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:09,736
Will you both just shut up?
You're ruining everything.
298
00:18:10,575 --> 00:18:13,282
- Nice going.
- Nice going.
299
00:18:13,456 --> 00:18:16,495
- Say it, Charlie.
- Say what?
300
00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:22,672
Say that slick, cool, Charlie Harper
finally wants Eckelberry Hound.
301
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:30,688
- You knew about that name?
- That name scarred me for life.
302
00:18:30,863 --> 00:18:34,317
It's the reason I haven't eaten
a carbohydrate since college.
303
00:18:35,121 --> 00:18:37,875
- Well, you do look good.
- You're damn right I look good...
304
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:40,203
...you smug, shallow son of a bitch.
305
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:43,918
I have spent years working
and sweating and dreaming...
306
00:18:44,095 --> 00:18:48,048
...about the day that I would be
able to rub your smarmy nose in it.
307
00:18:48,436 --> 00:18:50,478
Okay, I'm getting mixed signals here.
308
00:18:52,318 --> 00:18:56,949
This is the signal, Charlie:
You can't have this.
309
00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:02,081
Not now, not ever.
Never, never, never!
310
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,551
You know, I didn't make up
the Eckelberry Hound thing.
311
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,799
But he did spread it around.
I was always your friend.
312
00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:12,352
Oh, please. I spent years
throwing myself at you, friend.
313
00:19:12,521 --> 00:19:15,727
Playing stupid nerd games
on my bed with my shirt open, buddy.
314
00:19:15,903 --> 00:19:18,027
Hoping that you would
kiss me or touch me...
315
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,526
...or at least notice me
as a woman, pal!
316
00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:25,202
- You knew your shirt was open?
- Who do you think opened it?
317
00:19:29,052 --> 00:19:32,923
But I wasn't pretty enough for you.
You wanted Donna DeMarco...
318
00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:36,270
...or Maxine Chernikoff,
just because they had big boobs...
319
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,518
...and no excess facial hair.
320
00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:42,858
Oh, yeah. Donna DeMarco,
old Double D.
321
00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:47,746
Jamie, I had no idea. I am so sorry.
322
00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:52,882
But I was a stupid teenager.
I guess I just didn't appreciate you then.
323
00:19:53,096 --> 00:19:54,675
I guess not.
324
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:59,722
But that was a long time ago.
I'm not a stupid teenager anymore.
325
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,568
Do you think maybe you could forgive
me, and maybe we could try again?
326
00:20:04,491 --> 00:20:06,865
Is that what you really want, Alan?
327
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,873
Very much.
328
00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:13,338
Well, eat your heart out.
329
00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:18,637
You can never have this.
Never, never, never!
330
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:34,122
Well, I guess we know
why she's still single.
331
00:20:39,681 --> 00:20:41,390
You're right, Dad. This is fun.
332
00:20:41,559 --> 00:20:44,563
Told you. It just takes a little
while to get the hang of it.
333
00:20:44,731 --> 00:20:46,726
See if I can bring it in for a landing.
334
00:20:46,902 --> 00:20:50,855
Probably not a good idea.
There's no real place to put it.
335
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,255
What do you think Donna DeMarco's
doing these days?