1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,639
- What you doing?
- I'm working.

2
00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:08,394
You're not gonna get much done
with the TV on.

3
00:00:08,612 --> 00:00:12,398
- What are you, my mother?
- Your mother says that too?

4
00:00:13,704 --> 00:00:15,781
Listen, when you write music
for a living...

5
00:00:15,958 --> 00:00:17,666
...you have to wait for inspiration.

6
00:00:21,216 --> 00:00:23,091
Nope, not yet.

7
00:00:23,929 --> 00:00:25,923
Charlie, wanna come
to the movies with us?

8
00:00:26,098 --> 00:00:28,389
He can't. He's working.

9
00:00:29,061 --> 00:00:32,314
- On what, liver failure?
- Wonderful.

10
00:00:32,484 --> 00:00:34,608
He's my mother, you're my doctor.

11
00:00:35,196 --> 00:00:38,734
<i>Oh, I assume you finished reading
Lord of the Flies for your book report.</i>

12
00:00:38,910 --> 00:00:40,405
Oh, good. How'd you like it?

13
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:44,957
I thought it was
a timeless American classic.

14
00:00:45,838 --> 00:00:49,423
I see. So tell me, what's it about?

15
00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:53,886
- You mean the book?
- Yeah, the book.

16
00:00:55,396 --> 00:00:57,140
<i>It's called Lord of the Flies...</i>

17
00:00:57,983 --> 00:01:02,232
...and it's about a really big fly...

18
00:01:02,407 --> 00:01:05,492
...that all the other flies pray to.

19
00:01:07,331 --> 00:01:12,329
- And you thought he didn't read it.
- Oh, I was just joking.

20
00:01:14,801 --> 00:01:19,181
<i>It's more like Charlotte's Web,
but from the fly's point of view.</i>

21
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,773
You've had more than a week.
Why didn't you read the book?

22
00:01:25,443 --> 00:01:30,571
- I've been waiting for inspiration.
- Attaboy.

23
00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:34,239
Okay, how's this for inspiration?
We're not going to the movies...

24
00:01:34,416 --> 00:01:37,668
...and you're not doing anything
until you finish reading that book.

25
00:01:38,673 --> 00:01:41,212
- That's not fair.
- Course it's fair. We had a deal.

26
00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:45,255
- You didn't keep your end of it.
- Oh, so now two wrongs make a right?

27
00:01:46,769 --> 00:01:48,561
Bet you didn't see that one coming.

28
00:01:49,899 --> 00:01:52,771
You're really gonna like this book
if you give it a chance.

29
00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,568
It's about kids
stranded on a deserted island.

30
00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,406
- How'd they get stranded?
- Their plane crashes.

31
00:01:58,622 --> 00:02:00,496
Oh, really. And then what happens?

32
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:04,749
This one kid named Ralph becomes their
leader, and they form this society, and...

33
00:02:05,215 --> 00:02:07,339
Just read the book.

34
00:02:09,806 --> 00:02:15,645
- One big fly, huh?
- Hey, I took a shot.

35
00:02:31,256 --> 00:02:32,835
Hi.

36
00:02:34,512 --> 00:02:37,550
- Charlie's working, Rose.
- Oh, what about Jake?

37
00:02:38,644 --> 00:02:40,471
He's studying.

38
00:02:41,314 --> 00:02:44,981
- Hey, do you like smoked salmon?
- I guess.

39
00:02:45,195 --> 00:02:47,403
Good. Then this is for you.

40
00:02:51,998 --> 00:02:56,378
- I don't know what to say.
- Neither do I, most of the time.

41
00:02:56,547 --> 00:02:59,502
But then I start talking,
and stuff just comes out.

42
00:03:01,554 --> 00:03:04,474
So, what are you doing
this fine Saturday night?

43
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:07,101
I was supposed go to the movies
with Jake...

44
00:03:07,272 --> 00:03:09,349
...but he didn't
do his homework, so...

45
00:03:09,568 --> 00:03:13,567
So you're punishing him by sitting out
here all by yourself, alone and miserable.

46
00:03:13,741 --> 00:03:15,818
What a good dad.

47
00:03:17,372 --> 00:03:19,911
If you still wanna go to the movies,
I'll go with you.

48
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:25,747
- You and me? Like a...? Like a date?
- Alan, are you asking me out?

49
00:03:26,428 --> 00:03:30,095
- I don't think so.
- Okay.

50
00:03:31,185 --> 00:03:35,518
That was a little awkward.
Come on, we'll catch an early show.

51
00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:38,737
Oh, all right. All right, why not.

52
00:03:38,947 --> 00:03:41,322
I'll sneak in the salmon
under my sweater.

53
00:03:41,785 --> 00:03:46,450
Good. That way, we don't have to pay
for that overpriced movie fish.

54
00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:50,872
- Hey. What you doing?
- Working.

55
00:03:52,594 --> 00:03:54,884
How do you know
when you're on a break?

56
00:03:55,057 --> 00:03:58,843
That's the thing about being a grownup,
my little friend: You don't get breaks.

57
00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:05,771
<i>Is this the new
Oshikuru: Demon Samurai?</i>

58
00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,492
- Yeah.
- What are you doing with it?

59
00:04:08,661 --> 00:04:12,614
It's being turned into a cartoon, and they
asked me to write the theme song.

60
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,871
- Awesome.
- Yeah?

61
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:17,622
- Wanna hear what I got so far?
- Sure.

62
00:04:17,802 --> 00:04:20,590
So I'll be, like, the first kid in the world
to hear this.

63
00:04:20,848 --> 00:04:22,474
Yep.

64
00:04:22,851 --> 00:04:26,388
Now, this is just a rough version,
but you get an idea of the feel of it.

65
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,061
Okay.

66
00:04:29,445 --> 00:04:36,246
<i>Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru</i>

67
00:04:36,415 --> 00:04:41,126
<i>My, oh, my
He's a demon samurai</i>

68
00:04:41,506 --> 00:04:44,959
<i>Who 's the guy who had to die?
Oshikuru</i>

69
00:04:45,471 --> 00:04:49,221
Boy. That really blows.

70
00:04:50,937 --> 00:04:52,267
Excuse me?

71
00:04:52,732 --> 00:04:56,981
- Did you even read the comic?
- Yeah, I looked it over.

72
00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,275
Oh, really? What's it about?

73
00:05:01,704 --> 00:05:04,624
It's about this guy named Oshikuru,
who dies...

74
00:05:04,793 --> 00:05:08,745
...and comes back as a,
what do you call it, samurai.

75
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,762
- And he's a demon.
- No.

76
00:05:11,929 --> 00:05:15,051
It's about a teenage boy
in a futuristic society...

77
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:18,728
...who's possessed by the tortured soul
of a feudal Japanese warrior...

78
00:05:18,899 --> 00:05:22,186
...condemned to walk the earth
fighting the evil he once embodied.

79
00:05:22,738 --> 00:05:24,613
So, what's your point?

80
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,236
He lives in a dark world.
He battles the spirits of the damned.

81
00:05:28,414 --> 00:05:31,749
Your theme doesn't
capture the mood at all. It just blows.

82
00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:37,381
- Okay, okay, you said "blows" already.
- Did I say "big baby chunks"?

83
00:05:38,597 --> 00:05:40,840
All right, fine. Thanks for your input.

84
00:05:41,518 --> 00:05:44,474
<i>Why don't you go read Lord of the Flies,
and let me do my job.</i>

85
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:48,565
Well, if your job is ruining a great
comic book, you can call it a night.

86
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:51,237
- I heard that.
- Good.

87
00:05:54,915 --> 00:05:59,580
Oh, no. What do you wanna bet
Shrek here sits right in front of us.

88
00:05:59,755 --> 00:06:01,381
Don't worry. It'll be all right.

89
00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:08,434
You had to eat the chili cheeseburger.

90
00:06:12,609 --> 00:06:16,609
- That wasn't really necessary.
- You'd have done the same thing for me.

91
00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:19,235
I'm not so sure.

92
00:06:19,704 --> 00:06:23,787
- So, Alan, tell me about yourself.
- What would you like to know?

93
00:06:24,169 --> 00:06:26,709
Everything. I really don't know
that much about you...

94
00:06:26,882 --> 00:06:30,383
...aside from the fact that you're
Charlie's brother and Jake's dad.

95
00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:34,139
Graduated from Cal State Long Beach,
married your college sweetheart...

96
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:38,358
...and in the middle of the night, when
you're half-asleep, you pee sitting down.

97
00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:41,987
- Have you been spying on me?
- No, silly.

98
00:06:42,157 --> 00:06:46,108
I spy on Charlie.
You just get in the way sometimes.

99
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:49,411
You know what?
Why don't you tell me about you.

100
00:06:49,585 --> 00:06:52,457
Well, okay. Well, let's see.

101
00:06:52,632 --> 00:06:56,631
I, too, pee sitting down,
so we have that in common.

102
00:06:57,014 --> 00:07:00,598
I come from a wealthy family, so I guess
I've had kind of a sheltered life.

103
00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:03,227
You know, fancy private schools
and colleges.

104
00:07:03,398 --> 00:07:05,357
- No kidding.
- What college did you go to?

105
00:07:05,527 --> 00:07:07,272
Princeton. But just for two years.

106
00:07:07,823 --> 00:07:11,324
- Oh, so you dropped out?
- No, I finished.

107
00:07:12,497 --> 00:07:15,582
Then I came back to California
to do my master's at Stanford.

108
00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:18,167
That's amazing.
What's your degree in?

109
00:07:23,221 --> 00:07:24,681
Behavioral psychology.

110
00:07:31,026 --> 00:07:33,815
Hey, Jake. Jake, wake up.
I want you to hear something.

111
00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:36,274
- What?
- I've been working on the song.

112
00:07:36,493 --> 00:07:40,078
- Good for you.
- Come on. Come listen to it.

113
00:07:40,249 --> 00:07:44,083
- I'm sleeping.
- Sleep in school, like everybody else.

114
00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,010
I read the comic books cover to cover.

115
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:52,099
I know the characters,
I know their world.

116
00:07:52,268 --> 00:07:55,603
I think I got it. Listen.

117
00:07:57,234 --> 00:08:02,694
<i>A teenage boy with the spirit inside
Of a samurai warrior who long ago died</i>

118
00:08:03,035 --> 00:08:07,118
<i>Now he's oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru</i>

119
00:08:07,293 --> 00:08:10,498
<i>Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru</i>

120
00:08:10,672 --> 00:08:15,717
<i>My, oh, my
He's a demon samurai</i>

121
00:08:15,889 --> 00:08:19,723
<i>Who 's the guy who had to die?
Oshikuru</i>

122
00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,731
Still blows.

123
00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:29,067
Yeah, well, you're still short.

124
00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:33,034
- Hey.
- Hey.

125
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:36,127
Sorry I'm late. We stopped
for a bite to eat after the movie.

126
00:08:36,464 --> 00:08:40,678
- No problem.
- An usher confiscated our fish.

127
00:08:42,515 --> 00:08:44,888
- Hey, can I play you something?
- Sure.

128
00:08:45,061 --> 00:08:47,220
You know, I had a really good time
with Rose.

129
00:08:47,398 --> 00:08:49,641
There's a lot more there
than meets the eye.

130
00:08:50,027 --> 00:08:52,733
Yeah. Cool. Listen to this.
Tell me what you think.

131
00:08:55,536 --> 00:09:01,044
<i>A teenage boy with the spirit inside
Of a samurai warrior who long ago died</i>

132
00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:05,211
<i>Now he's oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru</i>

133
00:09:05,385 --> 00:09:08,506
<i>Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru</i>

134
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:13,975
<i>My, oh, my
He's a demon samurai</i>

135
00:09:14,149 --> 00:09:17,734
<i>Who 's the guy who had to die?
Oshikuru</i>

136
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:20,688
Very nice. It's snappy.

137
00:09:20,868 --> 00:09:23,195
- You really like it?
- Yeah, yeah. Good work.

138
00:09:26,377 --> 00:09:30,957
Okay, that settles it. It blows.

139
00:09:34,097 --> 00:09:37,967
<i>Berta, you know what's a good book?
Lord of the Flies.</i>

140
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:41,065
Oh, yeah. I read that
when I was about your age.

141
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,851
- So, what'd you think?
- I liked it.

142
00:09:44,030 --> 00:09:50,487
<i>- It was like Survivor with kids.
- Yeah. I agree.</i>

143
00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:57,877
<i>- Is Survivor spelled like it sounds?
- Just read the damn book.</i>

144
00:09:59,429 --> 00:10:00,924
- Morning, Berta.
- Morning.

145
00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:05,265
Hey, did you know that Rose
has a master's degree in psychology?

146
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,727
No. Did you know I'm a
founding member of the Mile High Club?

147
00:10:09,695 --> 00:10:12,817
- Really?
- Yeah. Me and Orville at Kitty Hawk.

148
00:10:12,993 --> 00:10:16,328
I'd have done Wilbur too, but we were
only in the air for 90 seconds.

149
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,836
Okay, you're kidding, and it's funny.

150
00:10:21,005 --> 00:10:23,758
But the truth is, you and I
see each other every day...

151
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,921
...and we don't know
much about each other.

152
00:10:26,305 --> 00:10:29,557
So you wanna know what goes on
underneath this gruff exterior.

153
00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:32,481
Whether somewhere inside me,
there's a tiny little girl...

154
00:10:32,649 --> 00:10:34,939
...who once dreamed of being
a famous ballerina.

155
00:10:35,111 --> 00:10:36,772
- Is there?
- lf there is...

156
00:10:36,948 --> 00:10:40,318
...it's because I accidentally ate one
and haven't passed her yet.

157
00:10:40,829 --> 00:10:44,330
Let me tell you,
I am dreading that tiara.

158
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:50,334
- Okay. Well, it was nice talking to you.
- Hey, I feel closer.

159
00:10:52,681 --> 00:10:54,971
Oh, are you starting
that book report already?

160
00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:58,557
- Just making notes.
- Good for you. What do you have so far?

161
00:10:58,982 --> 00:11:02,234
<i>Lord of the Flies is kind of like Survivor,
but with kids.</i>

162
00:11:03,364 --> 00:11:06,154
That's an interesting analogy.
What's your favorite part?

163
00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:12,037
When the first kid
gets voted off the island?

164
00:11:17,888 --> 00:11:20,178
Hey, all right.

165
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:24,138
Stop trying to be friends with Berta.
It just pisses her off.

166
00:11:24,690 --> 00:11:26,269
What doesn't?

167
00:11:26,484 --> 00:11:29,902
Hey, I was gonna do some shopping,
and was hoping you could watch Jake.

168
00:11:30,116 --> 00:11:32,786
- Sure.
- Ready when you are, Alan.

169
00:11:32,954 --> 00:11:36,241
- Be right there. I'll see you later.
- No, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

170
00:11:36,418 --> 00:11:39,835
- You're going out with Rose again?
- No, I'm not "going out" with her.

171
00:11:40,006 --> 00:11:43,258
- We're just going shopping.
- Morning, Charlie.

172
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:46,765
You haven't forgotten
that she's a little bent, right?

173
00:11:47,727 --> 00:11:50,053
No, I think there's a lot more to her
than that.

174
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:54,813
- Deep down, there's a good person.
- Deep down, there's a few good people.

175
00:11:54,988 --> 00:11:57,742
And all of them are bent.

176
00:11:58,494 --> 00:12:00,784
- He'll be right with you, Rose.
- Okay.

177
00:12:00,957 --> 00:12:03,663
- Charlie, everybody has flaws.
- Flaws?

178
00:12:03,836 --> 00:12:07,338
She Superglued my testicles
to my thigh.

179
00:12:08,718 --> 00:12:11,508
That was the past.
We've all done things we're ashamed of.

180
00:12:11,681 --> 00:12:15,848
She's not ashamed. She took a picture,
then used it for her Christmas card.

181
00:12:17,316 --> 00:12:21,612
Thank God it was an extreme close-up.
Most people thought it was a fruit bat.

182
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,451
Okay, well,
I appreciate your concern...

183
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,458
...but I think Rose is a sweet,
smart, interesting woman.

184
00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:31,118
I enjoy spending time with her.
Meet me out front.

185
00:12:31,463 --> 00:12:32,958
Okey-dokey.

186
00:12:37,598 --> 00:12:40,803
<i>- Hey, what're you doing?
- Reading Lord of the Flies.</i>

187
00:12:40,979 --> 00:12:42,973
Not important.

188
00:12:44,443 --> 00:12:47,528
- Now, listen. You're a kid, right?
- Yeah.

189
00:12:47,698 --> 00:12:49,359
Okay. I'm writing a song for kids.

190
00:12:49,534 --> 00:12:52,027
So assuming that
what I've done already blows...

191
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,245
- It does.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

192
00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:56,992
Assuming that, you need to help me
make it better.

193
00:12:57,171 --> 00:12:59,746
- But I have to do a book report.
- Okay.

194
00:12:59,926 --> 00:13:02,881
I'll help you with the book report.
You help me with the song.

195
00:13:03,056 --> 00:13:06,391
- Quid pro quo.
- No.

196
00:13:06,561 --> 00:13:10,513
"Oshikuru."

197
00:13:13,948 --> 00:13:17,200
Here you go. Raspberry-mango-banana
with a shot of wheatgrass.

198
00:13:17,662 --> 00:13:19,455
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

199
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:24,332
You know, sometimes
I like to come to the mall...

200
00:13:24,506 --> 00:13:27,675
...and just watch people and make up
stories about who they are...

201
00:13:27,845 --> 00:13:31,298
...and what their lives are like.
- Oh, well, that's fun.

202
00:13:31,476 --> 00:13:35,428
What about that lady over there?
What do you think her life is like?

203
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:40,319
Well, I'd say she's a smart woman,
but very Ionely.

204
00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:44,276
So used to rejection, it's become
like the air she breathes...

205
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:48,669
...which is all the more sad
because she's got so much to give.

206
00:13:48,837 --> 00:13:54,510
Emotionally, spiritually, sexually.
Especially sexually.

207
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:59,428
She is ripe, smoldering
and willing to try anything.

208
00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:12,824
- What about that lady over there?
- Her?

209
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:17,001
Well, let's see.
She's a little tougher to read.

210
00:14:17,215 --> 00:14:22,639
I'd say she's a smart woman,
very Ionely.

211
00:14:22,807 --> 00:14:27,187
So used to rejection, it's become
like the air she breathes...

212
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,942
...which is all the more sad...

213
00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:34,193
<i>See, even though Oshikuru is for kids,
it's not really a kids' comic.</i>

214
00:14:34,368 --> 00:14:38,154
- It's very mature.
- Okay, I think I got it.

215
00:14:38,332 --> 00:14:41,288
The demons Oshikuru fights
only exist...

216
00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:45,961
...because they are a reflection
of the tortured demons in his own soul.

217
00:14:46,387 --> 00:14:49,093
- Yes.
- So, in essence...

218
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:53,599
<i>...Oshikuru is like a Japanese
sci-fi version of Moby Dick.</i>

219
00:14:57,154 --> 00:15:00,656
<i>- What?
- You said, "Moby Dick."</i>

220
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:05,578
I mean, sure, being single
can be Ionely sometimes...

221
00:15:05,751 --> 00:15:10,083
...but it's better than being together
with someone you don't love or respect.

222
00:15:10,258 --> 00:15:15,338
- Is that what your marriage was like?
- Well, according to my ex-wife, it was.

223
00:15:16,476 --> 00:15:18,138
Hey, as long as we're done here...

224
00:15:18,312 --> 00:15:21,351
...why don't we take a drive
down to the beach and take a walk.

225
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:24,142
- Alan, are you flirting with me?
- Oh, no, no.

226
00:15:24,322 --> 00:15:26,862
I just thought, you know,
since it's a beautiful day...

227
00:15:27,035 --> 00:15:28,910
If you are, it's okay.

228
00:15:30,415 --> 00:15:32,824
- Really?
- Yeah.

229
00:15:33,003 --> 00:15:36,420
There's a lot more to you
than I thought.

230
00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:42,388
- What did you think?
- Oh, let's not spoil the moment.

231
00:15:44,688 --> 00:15:48,308
Okay. So, what do we do now?

232
00:15:48,611 --> 00:15:54,119
- Wanna try kissing?
- Yes, I think we should.

233
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,803
- Okay.
- Yeah.

234
00:16:05,972 --> 00:16:09,674
- Wanna get a room?
- Excuse me?

235
00:16:10,313 --> 00:16:13,933
Or we can go back to my place,
unless you're afraid of ferrets.

236
00:16:15,529 --> 00:16:17,986
- Ferrets?
- Yeah.

237
00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:21,364
I have five of the toothy little guys.

238
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,917
No kidding. Five ferrets.

239
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:32,513
- Those are like long, furry rats, right?
- Yep.

240
00:16:32,681 --> 00:16:35,139
And they're all named Charlie.

241
00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:39,434
Of course they are.

242
00:16:39,609 --> 00:16:43,229
Well, as much as I would
love to meet...

243
00:16:43,407 --> 00:16:46,575
...Charlie and Charlie
and Charlie and Charlie...

244
00:16:46,746 --> 00:16:49,320
- And Charlie.
- Right.

245
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:54,331
I can't help but wonder, is it worth
putting our friendship at risk?

246
00:16:54,967 --> 00:16:58,919
Well, that's a good question.
Let's think about it for a minute.

247
00:17:01,394 --> 00:17:04,681
How good are you in bed?
Because I'm excellent.

248
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:11,154
Truthfully, I'm more of
an advanced intermediate.

249
00:17:12,495 --> 00:17:15,782
- Then let's stay friends.
- Yeah, good idea.

250
00:17:16,751 --> 00:17:19,540
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.

251
00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:23,584
What, specifically, turned you off
to the idea of a physical liaison?

252
00:17:23,971 --> 00:17:28,471
Was it the psychosexual fraternal rivalry,
symbolized by the Charlie surrogates?

253
00:17:28,645 --> 00:17:30,769
Or the prospect
of being judged inadequate...

254
00:17:30,941 --> 00:17:34,027
...by a woman who professes to have
superior sexual skills?

255
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,817
Wait a minute. Have you been doing
that behavioral psychology thing on me?

256
00:17:37,993 --> 00:17:40,118
No, don't be silly.

257
00:17:40,289 --> 00:17:46,212
But if I said yes, would that
make you feel A, angry, or B, insecure?

258
00:19:08,054 --> 00:19:10,463
I thought you were gonna
write the report for me.

259
00:19:10,641 --> 00:19:12,968
No, Jake. That would be wrong.

260
00:19:13,145 --> 00:19:15,685
The only way to learn
is to do the work yourself.

261
00:19:16,484 --> 00:19:20,436
<i>Now, these are called Cliff Notes.</i>

262
00:19:22,285 --> 00:19:25,241
<i>Inside is everything you need to know
about Lord of the Flies.</i>

263
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,493
The themes, the characters,
the symbolism.

264
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,624
It's a book report waiting for you
to put your name on it.

265
00:19:33,552 --> 00:19:34,882
Is that legal?

266
00:19:35,056 --> 00:19:37,345
Look around.
Do you see any homework police?

267
00:19:41,357 --> 00:19:45,143
Oh, man. I give you
way too much credit.

268
00:19:49,453 --> 00:19:52,705
Oh, I meant to ask you,
how'd that book report turn out?

269
00:19:52,876 --> 00:19:55,913
- I got a D-minus.
- D-minus?

270
00:19:56,297 --> 00:20:00,297
<i>- Didn't you read the Cliff Notes?
- That was 50 pages.</i>

271
00:20:01,555 --> 00:20:04,512
Unbelievable. Your kid's too lazy
to cheat.

272
00:20:04,727 --> 00:20:07,683
Has it occurred to you that maybe
he's too honest to cheat?

273
00:20:08,317 --> 00:20:10,394
No, I'm lazy.

274
00:20:10,946 --> 00:20:14,483
<i>- Oshikuru: Demon Samurai.
- Hey, it's on.</i>

275
00:20:15,495 --> 00:20:22,248
<i>Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru
Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru</i>

276
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:27,467
<i>My, oh, my
He's a demon samurai</i>

277
00:20:27,639 --> 00:20:31,425
<i>Who 's the guy who had to die?
Oshikuru</i>

278
00:20:31,603 --> 00:20:35,224
That's not what we wrote.
That's your original, sucky version.

279
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:38,317
What can I tell you?
The network liked that one better.

280
00:20:38,490 --> 00:20:43,831
- What, are they brain-damaged?
- Welcome to show business, kid.

281
00:20:46,043 --> 00:20:48,370
I still think it's snappy.

282
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:53,545
<i>Oshikuru</i>