1
00:00:02,311 --> 00:00:03,970
I don't know what he did, Charlie.

2
00:00:04,147 --> 00:00:06,353
The teacher called
and told me to come get him.

3
00:00:06,523 --> 00:00:09,146
I want it on the record
that if the kid was running...

4
00:00:09,318 --> 00:00:12,354
...a blackjack game under bleachers
he didn't get it from me.

5
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,399
What? I said, he didn't.

6
00:00:18,327 --> 00:00:21,992
Well, I can assure you he did not learn
that kind of crass behavior from me.

7
00:00:22,164 --> 00:00:23,706
Maybe I should wait in the hall.

8
00:00:23,874 --> 00:00:26,329
Hold on.
What is he doing here?

9
00:00:26,502 --> 00:00:30,119
Well, my car is in the shop, and Charlie
was nice enough to give me a ride.

10
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:34,246
No, Charlie was nice enough to call you
a cab, but you wouldn't take it.

11
00:00:34,427 --> 00:00:35,755
So, what's going on?

12
00:00:35,928 --> 00:00:37,967
Your son gave his teacher the bird.

13
00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:42,600
Okay, I want it on the record
that he didn't necessarily...

14
00:00:43,518 --> 00:00:46,009
Charlie, just leave it alone.
What exactly happened?

15
00:00:46,188 --> 00:00:49,106
I was writing on the board
and he thought I couldn't see him.

16
00:00:49,692 --> 00:00:53,690
- Is this true?
- Yeah, I really thought she couldn't see.

17
00:00:53,863 --> 00:00:56,567
I'm afraid this kind of behavior
is grounds for suspension.

18
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,528
- Maybe we can catch a matinee.
- Yeah.

19
00:01:00,035 --> 00:01:02,573
Jake, why did you flip
Miss Pasternak off?

20
00:01:02,746 --> 00:01:05,663
Excuse me. We don't end our sentences
with prepositions.

21
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,787
We say,
"Why did you flip off Miss Pasternak?"

22
00:01:12,214 --> 00:01:14,965
I think that answers your question.

23
00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:19,718
Jake, why did you flip off
Miss Pasternak?

24
00:01:22,265 --> 00:01:23,891
Because she picks on me.

25
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:27,428
Jake, I don't treat you any differently
than any of the other students.

26
00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:30,096
- Yeah, right.
- Shut up.

27
00:01:31,233 --> 00:01:33,641
You know, I'd like to talk
to your parents alone.

28
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,863
- Come on, Jake.
- What, I don't even get to tell my side?

29
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:40,447
Buddy, you're 11.
You have no side.

30
00:01:40,617 --> 00:01:42,906
This isn't my fault. I was provoked.

31
00:01:43,078 --> 00:01:45,569
- You were provoked?
- Yeah, it means...

32
00:01:45,748 --> 00:01:47,905
I know what it means.

33
00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:51,083
And it doesn't matter.
What you need to do now is apologize.

34
00:01:51,252 --> 00:01:54,123
- But I'm not sorry.
- You don't have to be sorry.

35
00:01:54,298 --> 00:01:58,959
Just say it and look it. You've got those
big, cute kid eyes. Use them.

36
00:01:59,302 --> 00:02:02,553
- That would be lying.
- That's your line in the sand?

37
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,178
You muttonhead, you just flipped off
your teacher.

38
00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:09,723
- Yeah, but I was being honest.
- And look where it got you.

39
00:02:14,233 --> 00:02:16,771
I think I just lost my innocence.

40
00:02:16,945 --> 00:02:19,269
He's really a very well-behaved boy...

41
00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:22,282
...but he has had some problems
dealing with our separation.

42
00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:26,947
That's true. Although it wasn't so much
a separation as a kicking out.

43
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,166
I sympathize, but if I gave
special consideration to every child...

44
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:36,084
...whose parents are going through
divorce, I'd be getting the finger all day.

45
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,378
We're not saying
he shouldn't be punished.

46
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:41,220
- He certainly should.
- But just let us try to handle it.

47
00:02:41,386 --> 00:02:43,959
By "us" he means me.
I always have to be the bad guy.

48
00:02:44,139 --> 00:02:45,467
You're better at it than me.

49
00:02:48,977 --> 00:02:50,470
Than I.

50
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,308
You are such an ass.

51
00:02:53,481 --> 00:02:57,431
- Can we have a moment, please?
- I think that'd be a good idea.

52
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:01,145
And it's,
"May we have a moment, please?"

53
00:03:02,908 --> 00:03:04,900
Stop it.

54
00:03:05,243 --> 00:03:07,735
Miss Pasternak.
I'm sorry, we haven't officially met.

55
00:03:07,912 --> 00:03:09,620
- I'm Jake's uncle, Charlie.
- Hello.

56
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:13,290
And I am really sorry.
This may not be my place...

57
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,369
...and if it's not,
I am really sorry...

58
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:18,085
...but Jake has something
he wants to say.

59
00:03:18,422 --> 00:03:20,913
I am really sorry.

60
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,925
- And I'm really sorry too.
- Why are you sorry?

61
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,424
The kid may have gotten
the rude gesture from me.

62
00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:35,351
I'm not used to being around children
and, well, I am really sorry.

63
00:03:44,116 --> 00:03:48,278
Well, thank you. I appreciate it,
but it doesn't change what Jake did.

64
00:03:48,453 --> 00:03:50,777
You're right.
You're absolutely right.

65
00:03:50,955 --> 00:03:52,616
Jake, go to the vending machine...

66
00:03:52,790 --> 00:03:56,291
...and get Miss Pasternak
a peach Snapple and a bag of Skittles.

67
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:03,171
It is Miss Pasternak, right?

68
00:04:33,956 --> 00:04:36,792
Now, this one's called
"Read Between the Lines."

69
00:04:39,755 --> 00:04:43,752
You're giving the finger,
but you've got plausible deniability.

70
00:04:43,924 --> 00:04:45,917
Cool. Like the Itchy Eye.

71
00:04:46,927 --> 00:04:51,174
Exactly. Now, this one's called
"the Slow Crank."

72
00:04:51,349 --> 00:04:52,892
Charlie.

73
00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:59,808
As you can see, it's effective
but lacks deniability.

74
00:05:00,775 --> 00:05:03,611
- Dad, check it out. Balloon Finger.
- Okay, that's enough.

75
00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:07,698
Do we need to be teaching him
more ways to flip people off?

76
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:10,316
Flip off people.

77
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:15,871
Charlie, do you realize how close
he came to being suspended today?

78
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,535
- I do.
- And do you understand...

79
00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:20,579
...how lucky we are Miss Pasternak
decided to give him a chance?

80
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,245
Lucky? Sure, why not.
Let's call it luck.

81
00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:25,502
What does that mean?

82
00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:28,213
It means I'm too modest
to call it skill.

83
00:05:30,471 --> 00:05:32,345
- Hey, Dad.
- What?

84
00:05:32,514 --> 00:05:34,591
How come only one finger
is the bad finger?

85
00:05:35,059 --> 00:05:36,388
I don't know, Jake.

86
00:05:37,061 --> 00:05:38,970
This one's okay, right?

87
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,808
Right.

88
00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:43,482
- Dad.
- What?

89
00:05:43,652 --> 00:05:45,394
Anything?

90
00:05:48,113 --> 00:05:49,442
No.

91
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:54,608
I don't get it. Who decides?

92
00:06:09,676 --> 00:06:13,460
Uncle Charlie, I had a weird dream.

93
00:06:14,598 --> 00:06:16,805
And it's getting weirder.

94
00:06:18,352 --> 00:06:21,021
Hey, buddy.
Why aren't you asleep?

95
00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:23,311
I'm hoping I am.

96
00:06:24,191 --> 00:06:27,358
- Hello, Jake.
- Hello, Miss Pasternak.

97
00:06:30,488 --> 00:06:34,238
Listen, buddy, Miss Pasternak and I
are kind of having a sleepover.

98
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:37,197
Because we're like, you know, friends.

99
00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:40,873
No way.

100
00:06:42,418 --> 00:06:46,082
Jake, I'm only your teacher
from 8: 15 to 3:00.

101
00:06:46,256 --> 00:06:48,544
After that I'm just a person
like anybody else.

102
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:53,756
This is more wrong than the time
I saw Santa peeing at the mall.

103
00:06:55,389 --> 00:06:59,089
Okay, why don't we wrap up this
after-school special and call it a night.

104
00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:02,352
Don't worry. This won't change
anything between us at school.

105
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,228
So you're still gonna be mean to me?

106
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,973
That's right.
Same old junkyard dog.

107
00:07:08,152 --> 00:07:12,279
- Come on, buddy. Get some sleep.
- Oh, yeah. Like I'm gonna sleep now.

108
00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:15,655
- Do you think he'll be okay?
- Sure.

109
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:18,779
He's just not used to seeing his teacher
out of the classroom.

110
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:20,911
And her pants.

111
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,833
I'll talk to him in the morning
and make sure he's okay...

112
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:27,951
...and that he keeps this to himself.
- Thank you, Charlie.

113
00:07:30,882 --> 00:07:33,718
Oh, Miss Pasternak.

114
00:07:33,885 --> 00:07:35,925
Why do you never call me
by my first name?

115
00:07:36,305 --> 00:07:39,721
I don't know.
This just seems way hotter.

116
00:07:41,309 --> 00:07:44,761
- Charlie?
- Yes, Miss Pasternak.

117
00:07:44,937 --> 00:07:47,689
Do you think Jake believes
we're just friends?

118
00:07:48,191 --> 00:07:50,232
Why not? We are, right?

119
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:54,269
I mean, once I get to know you better
I'm pretty sure I'd consider you a friend.

120
00:07:54,989 --> 00:07:57,741
Charlie, we both know
there's much more than friendship...

121
00:07:57,909 --> 00:08:01,409
...going on between you and me.
- Much more?

122
00:08:01,580 --> 00:08:02,908
How much more?

123
00:08:03,081 --> 00:08:06,615
Well, I know this is pretty quick
and I don't wanna use the L word...

124
00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:11,455
- Good. Thank you.
...but this feels an awful lot like love.

125
00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:16,756
I'm sorry, which L word
didn't you want to use?

126
00:08:17,554 --> 00:08:20,010
Oh, Charlie. Come on.

127
00:08:20,181 --> 00:08:25,139
- Let's go to sleep.
- Yeah. Like I'm gonna sleep now.

128
00:08:31,025 --> 00:08:34,062
- Morning. What are you doing?
- Morning.

129
00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:37,523
Making my world-famous huevos
rancheros for my brother and nephew.

130
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:41,318
No kidding. What stupid thing did you do
you're trying to make up for?

131
00:08:42,329 --> 00:08:44,487
Why do you always just assume that...?

132
00:08:46,916 --> 00:08:48,494
I slept with Jake's teacher.

133
00:08:49,211 --> 00:08:53,209
Oh, Charlie, did you learn nothing
from the den-mother fiasco?

134
00:08:53,381 --> 00:08:55,540
It gets worse. The kid found out.

135
00:08:56,134 --> 00:08:59,468
- What about your brother?
- He doesn't know yet.

136
00:09:00,556 --> 00:09:03,129
Oh, hey, you made breakfast.
What's the occasion?

137
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,601
No occasion. Just trying to help out.

138
00:09:05,769 --> 00:09:08,685
Well, thank you. I really appreciate it.
Good morning, Berta.

139
00:09:08,855 --> 00:09:12,022
Morning, you goofy, clueless bastard.

140
00:09:15,194 --> 00:09:17,864
Nice to see her in a pleasant mood
for a change.

141
00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:19,905
Yeah. Sit down.

142
00:09:21,702 --> 00:09:23,860
Have some huevos.

143
00:09:26,706 --> 00:09:29,030
- Fresh-squeezed orange juice.
- You squeezed this?

144
00:09:29,208 --> 00:09:31,664
No, it says it on the can.

145
00:09:33,672 --> 00:09:35,332
Okay, what stupid thing did you do?

146
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:40,882
Well, funny thing...

147
00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:47,971
I slept with Miss Pasternak.

148
00:09:49,479 --> 00:09:51,353
Charlie, what were you thinking?

149
00:09:51,522 --> 00:09:53,230
What if Jake finds out?

150
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,273
Okay...

151
00:09:56,652 --> 00:10:00,068
Oh, no! Oh, no! How?

152
00:10:00,698 --> 00:10:03,735
- He woke up in the middle of the night...
- You brought her here?

153
00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:06,745
Did you learn nothing
from the den-mother fiasco?

154
00:10:07,872 --> 00:10:10,743
- Hey, I kept him from getting suspended.
- Oh, that's how?

155
00:10:10,917 --> 00:10:14,167
- You're welcome.
- Are you crazy?

156
00:10:14,337 --> 00:10:17,124
No, but I have a sneaking suspicion
Miss Pasternak may be.

157
00:10:17,882 --> 00:10:21,167
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Don't worry, I'll deal with it.

158
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:23,004
Oh, that makes me feel much better.

159
00:10:23,179 --> 00:10:25,716
So how did Jake take it?
Did he freak out?

160
00:10:26,099 --> 00:10:28,506
Not as much as you.

161
00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:31,258
- Morning.
- See? He's fine.

162
00:10:31,437 --> 00:10:35,103
Jake, do you wanna talk about
what you saw last night...

163
00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:37,433
...with Uncle Charlie
and Miss Pasternak?

164
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,067
Oh, God. That really happened?

165
00:10:44,451 --> 00:10:47,120
Good, Alan. Way to go.

166
00:10:47,286 --> 00:10:49,029
Dad, can I be homeschooled?

167
00:10:51,624 --> 00:10:54,115
Listen, Jake. Don't worry.

168
00:10:54,293 --> 00:10:56,784
You go to school,
don't say anything to anybody.

169
00:10:56,963 --> 00:11:00,297
I'll tell her I can't see her anymore
and we'll forget this happened.

170
00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:03,463
Man, it's like Cub Scouts
all over again.

171
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:13,394
- I hope you saved room for dessert.
- I saved room for you.

172
00:11:16,065 --> 00:11:19,351
You sure?
Because I'm just empty calories.

173
00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:20,985
How about a nice fruit cup?

174
00:11:21,362 --> 00:11:23,651
Two fruit cups, please.

175
00:11:24,282 --> 00:11:26,690
Listen, Delores. We need to talk.

176
00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:30,370
Oh, call me Miss Pasternak.

177
00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:33,957
No, let's keep this friendly.

178
00:11:34,499 --> 00:11:38,165
Dolores, you're a terrific woman and
I've enjoyed being with you very much...

179
00:11:39,797 --> 00:11:43,629
...but I know deep in my heart
that you can do so much better than me.

180
00:11:44,803 --> 00:11:48,467
- Okay. I understand.
- Good. Thank you.

181
00:11:48,931 --> 00:11:53,012
You're insecure. But don't worry.
I am not going to abandon you.

182
00:11:54,144 --> 00:11:58,095
No, no, no, that's not
what I'm worried about.

183
00:11:58,274 --> 00:12:00,812
See, Delores...

184
00:12:02,486 --> 00:12:03,897
I'm a bad man.

185
00:12:05,697 --> 00:12:09,530
I'm a player.
I go from woman to woman and then...

186
00:12:09,702 --> 00:12:12,109
Charlie, that's the past.

187
00:12:12,287 --> 00:12:14,909
I'm not going to give up on us,
and you wanna know why?

188
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,956
Why?

189
00:12:17,126 --> 00:12:21,206
Because somebody told me
that we belong together.

190
00:12:21,672 --> 00:12:24,709
Really?
It can't be somebody who knows me.

191
00:12:24,883 --> 00:12:26,295
Oh, he knows you very well.

192
00:12:26,468 --> 00:12:29,386
And he loves you even more than I do.

193
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:35,174
Our union has been ordained, Charlie.

194
00:12:36,979 --> 00:12:39,220
What? Come again?

195
00:12:39,398 --> 00:12:41,474
After we fornicated...

196
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:47,611
...I prayed for forgiveness
and I was told not to worry about it.

197
00:12:50,825 --> 00:12:52,237
By the same guy?

198
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:53,988
There's only one guy, Charlie.

199
00:12:54,162 --> 00:12:57,947
And his loving hand has been guiding me
ever since I quit pole dancing in Reno.

200
00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,583
No kidding. Which club?

201
00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:04,752
- Did you dress like a schoolteacher?
- It doesn't matter.

202
00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:07,592
What matters is the same hand
that delivered me...

203
00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:10,251
...from my life of degradation
has brought me to you.

204
00:13:10,596 --> 00:13:12,054
For what? More degradation?

205
00:13:13,015 --> 00:13:16,550
No. To help you become a better man.
To achieve your potential.

206
00:13:16,727 --> 00:13:18,600
Now sit up straight
and eat your fruit.

207
00:13:20,939 --> 00:13:23,940
- All right.
- All right, what?

208
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:28,644
All right, Miss Pasternak.

209
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:36,532
<i>Hey, Charlie. Guess who.</i>

210
00:13:36,705 --> 00:13:40,370
<i>I know we didn 't make plans for tonight
but we really should get together...</i>

211
00:13:40,542 --> 00:13:43,958
<i>... and talk more about this path
we are on and where it's heading.</i>

212
00:13:44,130 --> 00:13:46,964
<i>We know where it's heading
but it would mean a lot to me...</i>

213
00:13:47,132 --> 00:13:49,209
<i>... to hear the words come out
of your mouth.</i>

214
00:13:49,384 --> 00:13:53,168
<i>Your beautiful, blessed mouth.</i>

215
00:13:53,346 --> 00:13:55,470
<i>Call me, sweetheart.</i>

216
00:13:56,016 --> 00:13:58,970
Boy, it's weird being on the other side
of one of these calls.

217
00:14:00,937 --> 00:14:03,014
I can imagine. Well?

218
00:14:03,189 --> 00:14:05,313
- Professional opinion?
- Please.

219
00:14:05,483 --> 00:14:07,441
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

220
00:14:08,528 --> 00:14:09,857
Yeah, I thought so.

221
00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:12,985
I mean, she barely knows you.

222
00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:16,609
Where does she get off
being so forward?

223
00:14:17,956 --> 00:14:22,701
Rose, we had one night together and you
handcuffed yourself to my refrigerator.

224
00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:26,996
That was different.
We were meant to be together.

225
00:14:27,881 --> 00:14:30,798
Okay, I was gonna ask you
the best way to end this...

226
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:35,511
...but I realize now that breakups
may be outside your area of expertise.

227
00:14:35,972 --> 00:14:40,219
Yeah. I do mate for life.
I'm like a penguin that way.

228
00:14:41,728 --> 00:14:44,516
Plus, I like to slide across the ice
on my belly.

229
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:52,028
Uncle Charlie, guess what happened
with Miss Pasternak today.

230
00:14:52,196 --> 00:14:55,032
- I'm just about to break up with her.
- Oh, no, don't, don't.

231
00:14:55,659 --> 00:14:59,738
- Why not?
- Look at this.

232
00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:03,163
Hey, you got an A in history.

233
00:15:03,499 --> 00:15:06,371
- Way to go, Jake.
- Look at his answers.

234
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:12,710
"Abraham Lincoln signed
the Emancipation Proclamation in pen."

235
00:15:14,803 --> 00:15:16,262
For this he got an A?

236
00:15:16,429 --> 00:15:18,920
Everybody got an A.
She was, like, happy all day.

237
00:15:19,098 --> 00:15:21,138
She even gave me back
my fake dog poop.

238
00:15:22,685 --> 00:15:25,521
Charlie, I gave you this poop.

239
00:15:26,774 --> 00:15:29,477
You broke into my house
and left it on my pillow.

240
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:32,521
Still, you regifted.

241
00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:34,902
And I thought you were a classy guy.

242
00:15:49,253 --> 00:15:51,958
Jake, why don't you go to your room
and do your homework.

243
00:15:52,132 --> 00:15:54,254
She didn't give us any.
First time ever.

244
00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:56,176
I love you, Uncle Charlie.

245
00:15:57,929 --> 00:15:59,257
- Oh, man.
- Yeah.

246
00:15:59,431 --> 00:16:02,515
Yeah, I think you know
what you have to do.

247
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:07,179
- Break up with Miss Pasternak, right?
- Hell, no. He's getting A's.

248
00:16:09,232 --> 00:16:12,434
He hasn't gotten an A
since naptime in kindergarten.

249
00:16:13,444 --> 00:16:16,896
- But he's not learning anything.
- Charlie, get your priorities straight.

250
00:16:17,073 --> 00:16:19,445
I'm trying to get him
into a decent middle school.

251
00:16:19,617 --> 00:16:22,189
After he's accepted he can learn
that Sacajawea...

252
00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:25,820
...wasn't "a bag full of jawea."

253
00:16:32,504 --> 00:16:35,043
- Ready for dinner?
- Charlie!

254
00:16:35,216 --> 00:16:37,043
It's so good to see you.

255
00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:42,302
It's okay to see you too.

256
00:16:45,561 --> 00:16:47,517
- Charlie.
- What?

257
00:16:47,687 --> 00:16:52,930
- Gum.
- Oh, sorry.

258
00:16:53,651 --> 00:16:55,442
What a great day I had.

259
00:16:55,612 --> 00:16:57,900
All the kids were so well-behaved.
Even Jake.

260
00:16:58,698 --> 00:17:01,533
- That's nice.
- Can I tell you a little secret?

261
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,274
I never really cared for Jake.

262
00:17:05,663 --> 00:17:08,237
But you said you treated him
like all the other kids.

263
00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:09,992
Well, you have to say that.

264
00:17:11,419 --> 00:17:13,661
So where are we going to dinner?

265
00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:16,166
I hadn't really decided.

266
00:17:16,340 --> 00:17:17,751
You came unprepared?

267
00:17:19,093 --> 00:17:23,173
Charlie, you have so much potential
if only you'd apply yourself.

268
00:17:23,931 --> 00:17:26,219
All right, I gotta tell you.

269
00:17:26,768 --> 00:17:30,552
My weirdness bar for chicks
is pretty high...

270
00:17:33,024 --> 00:17:36,108
...but you are clearing it
in street shoes.

271
00:17:37,236 --> 00:17:38,565
You're mad at me.

272
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,272
- No, no.
- Yes, you are.

273
00:17:41,823 --> 00:17:44,861
- No, no. Not... Not mad.
- Then what's your problem?

274
00:17:49,039 --> 00:17:51,661
Nothing. Forget it.
Let's just have a nice evening.

275
00:17:51,834 --> 00:17:53,910
Oh, Charlie, that is so sweet.

276
00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:55,545
Let's never fight again.

277
00:17:57,255 --> 00:18:00,127
Oh, no. I hate it.

278
00:18:02,094 --> 00:18:04,763
Hey, can I use the restroom?

279
00:18:04,931 --> 00:18:07,884
May I use the restroom?

280
00:18:08,058 --> 00:18:09,968
Oh, right.

281
00:18:10,602 --> 00:18:12,844
- May I?
- You're excused.

282
00:18:15,732 --> 00:18:17,062
Thank you.

283
00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:19,228
Charlie.

284
00:18:41,925 --> 00:18:46,137
Look, I'm really sorry
it didn't work out with Miss Pasternak.

285
00:18:47,806 --> 00:18:50,926
You gotta know,
I went the extra mile to make her happy.

286
00:18:51,101 --> 00:18:54,803
Alan, you know what that means,
and Jake, you'll understand someday.

287
00:18:57,816 --> 00:19:00,188
Oh, come on, guys.
I said I'm sorry.

288
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,121
Okay, she's being really unfair
with all this homework.

289
00:19:10,287 --> 00:19:13,122
You know what I'll do?
I'm gonna complain to the principal.

290
00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:15,200
Maybe you should date the principal.

291
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,827
Very funny.

292
00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,331
Is that an option?

293
00:19:21,798 --> 00:19:24,965
Because I would if it would get me
out of writing 2500 words...

294
00:19:25,135 --> 00:19:26,926
<i>...on The Red Badge of Courage.</i>

295
00:19:32,808 --> 00:19:35,764
Man, book reports suck.

296
00:19:37,397 --> 00:19:39,722
- Dad.
- Yeah?

297
00:19:39,899 --> 00:19:43,269
Please keep him away
from my karate teacher.