1 00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,707 That is a very sexy woman. 2 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:09,477 Whose car is it? 3 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:10,678 My psychiatrist's. 4 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,012 ( alarm blaring ) 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,547 Let's get out of here, Charlie. 6 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,683 You're not just going to leave me here, are you? 7 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,718 Here we are. Chez Charlie. 8 00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,688 She's taking her clothes off. 9 00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,190 Is this a great country or what? 10 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,757 You guys are so cute. 11 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,025 Right back at you. 12 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,227 Good, Charlie. 13 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:27,495 Keep hitting on the deranged woman. 14 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,329 Hey, Charlie, 15 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,464 you're a really cool guy, 16 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,733 but I'm not going to have sex with you. 17 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,803 Ever? 18 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,771 Deep tissue massage, pancakes... 19 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,440 If you had a TV on your forehead 20 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,809 and could breathe through your ears, you'd be perfect. 21 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,278 So you just assume 22 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:45,679 that if we were both interested 23 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,815 in the same woman, you would come out on top. 24 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,749 Of course I would. 25 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,084 What are you afraid of? 26 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,019 I'm afraid I'm going to hit you so hard 27 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,020 I'll be an only child. 28 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:53,854 Are you sure? 29 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:54,822 It's settled. 30 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:55,923 You're staying with us. 31 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,057 Of course, we still don't know 32 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,058 a damn thing about her. 33 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,760 I'm Joanie. 34 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,395 Hello. Hi. 35 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,731 We're going to go to Charlie and Alan's house. 36 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,998 It's a wonderful place 37 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,401 where those awful people will never find us. 38 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,106 So, Frankie... 39 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,942 why didn't you tell us you had a daughter? 40 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:18,011 Okay, guys, here's the deal. 41 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,814 I didn't want you to know. 42 00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:25,119 Okay. I feel better. 43 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,987 I'm sorry. It's a long story. 44 00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,922 We got time. I'm not doing anything. 45 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:29,990 Alan, doing anything? 46 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,825 No, I'm free. 47 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:35,028 I was staying with my grandma and grandpa who are really rich, 48 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,566 and they don't want my mom to have me, so they said she's crazy. 49 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,570 That wasn't so long. 50 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,805 Could we please talk about this later? 51 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,941 Okay. What shall we talk about? 52 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,278 Are you guys gay? 53 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:57,151 Isn't she something? 54 00:01:57,218 --> 00:02:00,120 * Men, men, men, men, manly men * 55 00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:03,157 * Men... * 56 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,728 Okay, here we are. 57 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,297 This is it, right? 58 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,032 One kid, no pets? 59 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,567 Far as I know. 60 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,804 Can I go look at the ocean? 61 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,206 Sure, just stay on the deck. 62 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,712 Okay, who has the first question? 63 00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,516 Alan? 64 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:31,385 Thank you, um... 65 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,321 What the hell is going on? 66 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,556 Ooh, good one. Mm. 67 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:38,025 Here it is. I married a really rich guy, 68 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,327 and his parents always hated me. 69 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,961 I don't know, maybe it was because 70 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:43,797 when we met, he was on the road to becoming a US Congressman, 71 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,032 and I was just... 72 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,501 you know, on the road. 73 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:50,003 Joanie, get off the rail, honey! 74 00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:53,241 Anyway, they were not happy when we got married 75 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,375 and they were even less happy 76 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,244 when we used part of his trust fund 77 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,011 to finance my recording career. 78 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,380 You're a singer? 79 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,515 Well, as it turns out, no, but, um... 80 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,152 ...then two years ago, Brad died, and ever since, 81 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:07,988 his parents have been trying to take Joanie away from me. 82 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,290 So, the-the psychiatrist...? 83 00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,924 Court-ordered. 84 00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,994 They're suing me for custody, saying I'm an unfit parent. 85 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:15,062 Unfit how? 86 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,365 You know... ( shrieks ) 87 00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,334 I'm not a lawyer, uh... 88 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,202 but taking a baseball bat to the shrink's Beemer 89 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:24,872 might not have helped your case. 90 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,140 Yeah, they'll probably spin that one in their favor... 91 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,676 but I was screwed anyway 92 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,111 'cause they were paying him to make me look bad. 93 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,112 That's horrible. 94 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,347 So, what are your plans now? 95 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,148 I don't know. I didn't think past 96 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,550 just getting her out of there. 97 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,718 Well, you know, you don't have to know. 98 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,152 You can stay here for a while 99 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,220 and figure it out, right, Charlie? 100 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,689 Absolutely. 101 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,224 Thank you. That'd be great. 102 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,893 I'll go tell Joanie. 103 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,228 Terrific. 104 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:51,665 We're happy to have you. 105 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,834 Okay, we got to get her out of here. 106 00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:57,271 Charlie, she needs us. 107 00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,273 She doesn't need us; she needs a lawyer... 108 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,541 and probably a new shrink. 109 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,311 Well, then, we'll get her those. 110 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,078 Okay, at this point, I think I'd like to stop 111 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:06,280 using the word "we." 112 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,781 Oh, oh, you're going to bail on her? 113 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,917 Two days ago, you couldn't wait to get her in bed. 114 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,386 That's because two days ago, she was just a crazy stranger. 115 00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,655 And if I remember correctly, 116 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:15,856 you couldn't wait to get rid of her. 117 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,025 Yes, because she was a crazy stranger, 118 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,494 but now that I've gotten to know her, I want her to stay. 119 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:21,829 All right, Alan, but I'm warning you: 120 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:24,031 this girl's got a lot of baggage, 121 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,568 and I don't know if you have enough skycaps to get her to the curb. 122 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,405 What? 123 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,344 So, Joanie, 124 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,311 what grade are you in? 125 00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,211 Second. 126 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,313 Oh, really? Uh, I have 127 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,581 a little boy who's in fourth. 128 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,015 So? 129 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,052 I, uh... I-I don't know. 130 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,655 I thought it'd be germane to the conversation. 131 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:53,594 Wow, doesn't matter how old they are, you still strike out. 132 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,333 You know, you are just as pretty as your mom. 133 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,868 So? 134 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,372 I bow to the master. 135 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,476 Hold on. Let me finish... ( knocking ) 136 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,379 All right, I'm going to say this one more time real slow 137 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,246 so there's no confusion. 138 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,815 You can take your damn money 139 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:17,317 and stick it up your white bread, country club, 140 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:20,421 Tournament of Roses, liposuctioned ass. 141 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,190 Hi. 142 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,558 Hi... 143 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,528 Really? I'm garbage. 144 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,129 Uh, is Alan here? 145 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,197 Yeah. 146 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,032 Really? Oh, is that right? 147 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:37,070 Well, I got news for you, lady: the term is white trash. 148 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,539 Do you know her? 149 00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:41,041 Nope, that's a new one. 150 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,342 Hey, Dad. 151 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,478 Jake, Judith, what are you doing here? 152 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,079 Alan, I told you yesterday 153 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,381 I was going to visit my parents. 154 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,016 Dad's having another colonoscopy, 155 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,985 and if I'm not there, I'll have to watch the video. 156 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,988 Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, there's just been a lot of stuff going on. 157 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,658 Yeah. I just met your brother's latest stuff. 158 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,827 Why do you assume it's his stuff? 159 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:00,728 What, is it yours? 160 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,295 No, but it's not his, either. 161 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,097 But it could be. 162 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,265 Says who? 163 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,400 Says your ex-wife. 164 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,368 Okay, I don't need to hear this. 165 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,103 Jake, honey, have a good time, hmm? 166 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,706 Charlie... behave yourself. 167 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,808 What about me? 168 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,545 I am completely capable of having my own stuff. 169 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,213 Hi, I'm Joanie. 170 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,950 Hey. I'm going to go play in my room. 171 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:23,817 Can I come with you? 172 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:24,885 Whatever. 173 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:29,089 If he can just keep that attitude for another 30 years, 174 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:31,124 he's gold. 175 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,261 I'm not afraid of your lawyers or your shrinks. 176 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,430 Fine, bring 'em on, 177 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,665 'cause you know what? 178 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,033 We're going to run away and hide. 179 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,270 Okay, now they're really unhappy with me. 180 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,738 Is there anything we can do? 181 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,441 No, thanks, you've already done so much. 182 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,809 I just hate to put you out like this. 183 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,043 Oh, oh, it is not a problem. 184 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,178 We have plenty of space. 185 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,246 Uh, you and Joanie can stay in my room, 186 00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,415 and, uh, I'll bunk with Charlie. 187 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,454 You'll bunk with Charlie? 188 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:03,390 Hold on there, Pecos Bill. 189 00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:06,594 No, it'll be fun, like when we were kids. 190 00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:08,496 Well, okay... 191 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,063 but just remember, 192 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:13,634 this time Mom won't be around to hear you scream. 193 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:18,906 Why are those people here? 194 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,474 Well, they're going through a tough time, 195 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,675 and we're helping them out. 196 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,644 That girl is really annoying. 197 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,847 I think maybe she has a crush on you. 198 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:30,083 Well, yeah, that's what's annoying. 199 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,320 You don't really like girls yet, huh? 200 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:34,722 No, I like girls. 201 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,758 I'm just not into eight-year-olds. 202 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,198 Is, uh, is Joanie okay? 203 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:48,502 Yeah. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. 204 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,370 Well, it was a long day for her. 205 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:52,039 Yeah. 206 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,274 Well, the good news is I think my in-laws 207 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,776 are going to back off. 208 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,077 Oh. 209 00:07:57,144 --> 00:08:01,081 The bad news is that wasn't my shrink's car. 210 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,584 Yeah, well, we all make mistakes... 211 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,255 ...but at least you made this one for the right reason. 212 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,923 You love your daughter. 213 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,895 I just wish I knew where we go from here, 214 00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,565 'cause I know I seem like I've got it all together, 215 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:21,101 but this is... 216 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,103 this is a little... 217 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,237 Scary? 218 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,272 Yeah. Yeah. 219 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,907 Well, I understand. 220 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:31,078 I mean, uh, when my marriage ended, I was terrified. 221 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,514 Um, it-it's the unknown. 222 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,283 Yeah... 223 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,252 Oh, no, don't, don't... 224 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,888 Now, don't cry. Don't cry. 225 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,692 Um... everything'll work out, you'll see. 226 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:07,948 ( sniffles ) 227 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,585 What's the matter? 228 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,887 I don't know. 229 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:17,124 It's been so long since anybody's touched me. 230 00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,567 Alan? Yeah? 231 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,938 It's been so long since anybody's touched me. 232 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,512 How much did you see? 233 00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:17,350 Just enough to make sleep impossible. 234 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,386 Okay, that's great. 235 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,122 I am dying to talk about this. 236 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:25,158 All we did was kiss, but, oh, Charlie, what a kiss. 237 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,327 It-it-it was like our souls were merging. 238 00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,130 That was saliva, Alan. 239 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,865 No, no, seriously, Frankie is incredible. 240 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,867 I mean, think about it. 241 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:37,170 First, she loses her husband, then she has to fight to keep her daughter, 242 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:40,708 and yet still, she has such incredible spirit, such-such joie de vivre. 243 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:43,243 Okay, would you like to hear my take on this? 244 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,714 Is it positive and life-affirming? 245 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,248 Good night, Alan. 246 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,686 Okay, no... tell me what you think. 247 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,188 All right. I've known you all your life, 248 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,157 and if there's one thing I've noticed, 249 00:10:57,224 --> 00:11:00,393 you are a stone sucker for the damsel in distress. 250 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,729 I am not. 251 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,296 Oh, come on, Alan, every woman 252 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,133 you've ever been involved with has been damaged and needy. 253 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:09,336 Wait, wait, what about, um, uh... 254 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,238 Okay, go on. 255 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,141 You devote all your time and energy into fixing 'em up 256 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,143 instead of doing the humane thing, 257 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,780 which is to have sex with 'em and run away. 258 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:22,515 Exactly how is that the humane thing? 259 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,184 My way, they have a good time; 260 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,153 you have a good time; nobody suffers. 261 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:30,190 Your way, you get married; you take over their lives; 262 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,260 they start to hate you, and you end up moving in with me. 263 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,363 You know what, Charlie? 264 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,131 I think you're jealous. 265 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,399 Of who? 266 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,468 Of me! For the first time in our lives, 267 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,404 a woman picked me over you, and you can't deal with it. 268 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:45,672 I can deal with it. 269 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,341 I don't get it, but I can deal with it. 270 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,477 I feel sorry for you. 271 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:54,647 I feel sorry that your heart has become so hard and small 272 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:58,151 that you've lost the capacity to connect with another human being 273 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,253 on any level any more meaningful 274 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,356 than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids. 275 00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,661 Boy, leave it to you to take a beautiful thing 276 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,331 like drunken sex and make it sound dirty. 277 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,468 I don't know why I even bother talking to you. 278 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,842 Alan? What? 279 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:26,213 I thought we had a pact to never go to bed mad. 280 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,851 Leave me alone. 281 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:35,488 Come on... don't you want to spoon? 282 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:40,360 I swear to God you're going to lose that hand. 283 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,429 That's not my hand. 284 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,497 Mom! 285 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,405 Do you know where Jake is? 286 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,042 No, honey, I'm sorry. 287 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,110 We're playing Hide and Seek. 288 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,912 Well, I don't know where he's hiding. 289 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:03,083 No, I was hiding, and he was supposed to find me. 290 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:07,187 It's been over an hour. 291 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,489 If I see him, I'll let him know. 292 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:10,690 Thank you. 293 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,360 You're welcome. 294 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:18,431 You're welcome. 295 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,801 Mornin'. 296 00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,937 Morning. 297 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,462 Coffee? Coffee. 298 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,497 Thanks. 299 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,200 So, uh... I thought 300 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,834 maybe today, uh, you, me, and the kids 301 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,403 might go do something fun. 302 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:57,504 What about Charlie? 303 00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,273 He's had his fun. 304 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,543 Hey, I know! Uh, why don't we go to Will Rogers State Park and have a picnic? 305 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,378 Oh, that sounds nice. 306 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,981 Oh, great, great. 307 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,085 Morning. BOTH: Morning. 308 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,696 Oh, man. 309 00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,165 I'm the extra guy. 310 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:29,369 No, don't call yourself extra. 311 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,071 Try superfluous. 312 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:36,376 Fifth wheel, 11th toe, third nipple. 313 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,045 Alan! 314 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,746 Interesting. 315 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:40,914 What's interesting? 316 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,382 This is new for me. 317 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,652 Don't really like it. 318 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,822 Charlie, you're a great guy, but... 319 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,024 No, no, no, please, stop. 320 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,193 Do not call me a great guy. 321 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,963 That's what you call the schmuck loser friend 322 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:59,132 who has to dance with the hot chick's ugly cousin. 323 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,138 What? 324 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:09,943 Well... I'm just having a really good day. 325 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,215 Hey, you coming on the picnic, Uncle Charlie? 326 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,385 Nah, couldn't find a date. 327 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,789 Mom wants to know if you want egg salad or tuna for lunch. 328 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:23,490 Tuna. 329 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,592 Me, too. 330 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:31,131 God, she's annoying. 331 00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:34,734 At least you're not a third nipple. 332 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:37,037 Jake, why don't you go in the kitchen and help Joanie 333 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,072 pick out some snacks for the picnic basket. 334 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,247 You sure you don't want to come with us? 335 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:49,316 Do you really want me to come with you? 336 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,484 No, I was just being polite. 337 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,221 Listen, Frankie... 338 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,623 we need to talk about you and Alan. 339 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,259 Oh, come on, stud, 340 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,161 you're not jealous, are you? 341 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,963 No, no. Dumbfounded, maybe. 342 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:08,101 Mystified, astounded, flabbergasted, but not jealous. 343 00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:10,570 I just want to make sure 344 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,239 that you understand how vulnerable he is. 345 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,874 You don't think I'm vulnerable, too? 346 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,509 Maybe you haven't noticed, Charlie, 347 00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:20,013 but I-I'm wrapped tighter than an airport sandwich. 348 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,015 All right, let me put it this way. 349 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,151 My brother is crazy about you. 350 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:27,487 Well, I'm crazy about him, too. 351 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:30,023 No, you don't understand. Alan's a nester. 352 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,092 He's already imagining the two of you 353 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,161 walking through IKEA picking out flatware 354 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,762 and throw pillows. 355 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,197 Come on... 356 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:40,200 He did it with me! 357 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,538 You really care about him, don't you? 358 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,475 Yes. 359 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,445 You're a great guy, Charlie. 360 00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:01,088 "Great guy" and a kiss on the cheek. 361 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:06,059 Why doesn't she just kick me in the balls? 362 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,663 Want to play tag? No. 363 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,031 Hide and Seek? No. 364 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,301 Want to chase me? No. 365 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,337 Well, the kids are having a great time. 366 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:20,173 This was a wonderful idea, Alan. Thank you. 367 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,275 Hey, what makes it wonderful is the company. 368 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:25,578 Aw, do you always say exactly the right thing? 369 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,248 I don't know. I, uh... I suppose 370 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:31,318 I-I-I try to be, uh, sensitive to the moment 371 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,986 and, uh, weigh my words 372 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,222 so that their, uh, emotional imp... 373 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,057 No, not always. 374 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,029 Um... 375 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:45,165 listen... uh, Frankie, 376 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,700 I-I was... I was thinking, um... 377 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:52,672 we get along so well, and-and our kids get along, and since 378 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,874 n-neither one of us really has our own place... 379 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,476 Oh, Alan... 380 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,482 Absolutely not. 381 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,017 But... No, my life 382 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,188 is such a mess, and I got to straighten out a bunch of things 383 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,391 before I can even think about a relationship. 384 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,161 Yes, yes, you-you've got a lot of baggage, 385 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:18,465 but it-it's nothing I can't get to the curb. 386 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:20,567 What? 387 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,169 It's something Charlie said. 388 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,803 I was hoping you'd know what it meant. 389 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,207 Well, Alan, um... 390 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,242 I talked to my brother in Seattle today, 391 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:33,045 and he and his wife are going 392 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,115 to put me and Joanie up for a while. 393 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,285 Oh, you're leaving. 394 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,819 Tomorrow morning. 395 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,823 'Cause, you know, I can enroll her in school there, 396 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:47,894 and get a job, and start putting my life back together again. 397 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,398 Yeah, no, um... that-that makes sense. Sure. 398 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,800 I'm sorry. 399 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:57,470 Oh, no, uh-uh, you're doing the right thing. 400 00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,339 Look on the bright side, Alan. 401 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,241 What bright side? 402 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,412 You're going to get laid tonight. 403 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,593 Okay, hon, the cab's waiting. Say good-bye to Jake. 404 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,863 Bye, Jake. Bye. 405 00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,235 Aw, man! 406 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,203 Charlie, what can I say? 407 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,373 I know. I'm a great guy. 408 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:40,012 Aw, man! 409 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:43,049 You know, I-I would've been happy to drive you to the airport. 410 00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,184 No, it's better to say good-bye here, 411 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,854 'cause LAX is hectic and crazy, 412 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,489 and the underwire in my bra 413 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,791 always sets off the metal detectors. 414 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,729 You know, this doesn't have to be good-bye forever. 415 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:59,198 Once we get all settled, you can come visit us. 416 00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:01,334 Sure. 417 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,517 Bye. 418 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:20,219 Bye. 419 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,871 ( knocking ) 420 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,007 Here. I'm running late. 421 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,388 It's tough seeing her go, isn't it? 422 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,023 Yeah, I'm really going 423 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,958 to miss Joanie.