Man's voice: This here is a ghost story.
But this ghost story is different from all the others.
It's different because this one's all true.
I know because I was there.
It all happened right here in this very town--
across the bridge, over by the old graveyard.
It was all hallows' Eve,
it was all hallows' Eve,
or what people like to call Halloween.
And it all happened down there...
In the hollow.
( Screams )
( Dull thud )
Now on this particular evening there was a party going on
at the home of a wealthy man named baltus van tassel.
The townsfolk came from all over to celebrate.
And amongst these revelers
was the new schoolmaster
ichabod crane.
This blows.
Brody, knock it off,
I'm trying to hear this.
It is kinda creepy, if you think about it.
It is kinda lame, if you think about it.
Some people say that he often resembled
some people say that he often resembled
a crane while walking through town.
- ( Crowing ) - ( Laughing )
Man: Karen, let's go.
You can go if you want, but I'm staying here.
Storyteller: Ichabod was understandably excited to be invited to this party,
as he was finally able to court
the beautiful young daughter of its host,
Katrina van tassel.
Woman: Guys, can we do this tomorrow night?
Man: Tomorrow night's the hayride.
Besides, you said you want a scare, right?
Well, I'm gonna give you one.
Oh, huh-uh.
- What are you scared? - Woman: Yeah, that...
And it's wrong to chump around on someone's grave.
Where's that creepy old groundskeeper guy?
She's got a point there, brode.
Remember when we snuck in that one time, back in third grade?
He was just trying to scare us.
Man: Dude chased us with an ax, man.
- Who does that? - I'll tell you what,
we'll go up, put our hand in and we'll call it a night.
What's the big deal with all of this, anyways?
The big deal is that you,
Karen and everybody else around here
take the legacy of this town for granted.
You act like it's just another place on the map.
You're drunk.
But it's not just another place on the map.
This is the birthplace
of the most famous ghost story there ever was.
Ow, you're hurting me!
Brody: This should be the end all,
be all of Halloween.
And what do we got to show for it?
A junior-boy storyteller
and a hokey haunted hayride.
Scott, could you please get this gorilla off of me?
Hey, let her go, man.
I'll tell you what...
All it would take is one bad Halloween--
like maybe three kids
going to a graveyard
and only one comes back.
Then people would know.
Then they would know
what kind of town we live in.
Woman: Go stick your hand in.
What?
You heard me, you go do it--
you heard me, you go do it--
see if anything grabs you.
Show us how it's done.
That's the spirit.
See, nothing.
- ( Metal clanks ) - Oh my god!
- Brody! - Oh my god, help me, please guys, help!
All right, get him, get him.
( Laughs )
Woman: Jackass.
What's wrong? Where you go--
it was just a joke.
Hey, where you going?
You guys be careful out there.
And remember, if you see the horseman...
Make for the bridge.
And as ichabod recalled brom's horrible warning,
he kicked and whipped and yelled at his horse,
urging it to go faster,
the headless horseman just behind him.
Sparks flew from the hoofs of the rider's unholy steed.
And ichabod looked up
and through the trees he could see the bridge.
Ichabod and his horse dashed across the bridge,
the headless horseman just behind him.
The headless horseman just behind him.
Ichabod chanced a look back, expecting to see the fearful apparition gone,
but instead he saw the horseman
stand up in his stirrups,
cock back his arm that held the rider's bloody severed head,
with Gore and guts still clinging to the skull.
And he fired the hideous missile...
And that was the last that anyone ever saw of the old schoolmaster.
Now some say that ichabod actually escaped the horseman
now some say that ichabod actually escaped the horseman
and left sleepy hollow to become a lawyer in New York,
not far from here,
while others say that it was brom
who chased ichabod out of town, out of jealousy.
But the old Dutch wives of these parts
still maintain
that ichabod crane, the new schoolmaster,
was whisked away on that Halloween evening
by the most horrific ghoul ever seen,
the headless horseman of sleepy hollow.
The headless horseman of sleepy hollow.
( Applause )
- Hey. - Honey, that was super.
Thank you.
Where's dad?
He wanted to come, sweetie, he was exhausted.
I think the start of the season and the move and everything
really took it out of him, you know?
Yeah, I know.
( Laughs )
- Thank you for coming. - Sure.
See you.
( Sighs )
I said I was sorry, what else do you want me to do?
How could you just stand there and have him treat me like that?
Hey, he just gets carried away with this whole legend.
I mean I guess he's proud of the history around here.
Besides, you were having fun.
No, I wasn't.
Really?
You know, somebody dared him
to put his hand in the tomb.
Who was that?
I just wanted to see if he'd get eaten.
So, is there something
to that whole scared sex thing?
Maybe.
( Metal clangs )
What was that?
Ha, ha, that's not funny, Scott.
It's Brody. He's screwing around in van ripper's shed.
Scott, please don't, I--
just stay here, all right? I'm sick of this.
Hey, Brody!
Scott.
The door is open.
( Sword unsheathes )
Spooky, very spooky,
you had me going for a sec.
Hey Amber, come inside the--
- ( sword slices ) - ( Splatters )
Amber: Scott?
( Gasps )
( Groans )
( Footsteps approaching )
- ( Roars ) - ( Screaming )
Karen: That was great.
( Laughs )
I'm already giving you a ride, you can stop with the flattery.
No, no, I mean it though, you were really good.
And thank you for the ride,
I really appreciate it.
Oh, it's no problem.
( Sighs )
So, uh...
Where's Brody? Didn't you guys come together?
No.
Brody's got a short attention span.
But then he's captain of the football team,
so I guess you get what you pay for, right?
- ( Laughs ) - I guess.
I just-- I guess I thought you guys
were like a thing.
Were like a thing.
No, we're not a thing.
I mean, am I getting myself into trouble here?
New in town--
already making moves on the quarterback's main squeeze.
Okay, first off, I'm nobody's squeeze.
And second,
Brody isn't exactly my ideal.
I like a guy who's interested in more than just my pom-poms.
Maybe you and I should, I don't know,
go for a coffee or something sometime.
( Screams )
Oh my god.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm just a little shaky, I'm fine.
- You sure you're all right? - ( Screams )
( Woman panting )
You scared the crap out of us.
- You okay? - I'm doing about as well as could be expected,
which I don't suppose is all that good.
What were you doing in the road? I could have killed you.
I was listening, teacher. I was listening.
Why are you calling me that?
Ian, he's a gravekeeper and he's obviously drunk.
My name is claus van ripper, although that doesn't mean much to ye.
And I'm not drunk.
I do take care of the cemetery
and I need to talk to ye.
There is something you need to know.
Let's get out of here, he's obviously drunk.
Let him have his bender, let's go.
I just about killed the guy.
We can't leave him here if he's drunk.
Shh! Quiet.
Something's coming.
Huh-uh.
What the hell are you doing out here, huh?
Shh-shh.
Ya hear that?
Ian: What?
- Let's just-- - ( Screams )
( Laughs ) You okay, junior?
You look like you seen a ghost.
You've been up to the yard, haven't you?
What are you doing up there?
Just trying to give Scott and Amber a scare.
Trying to instill a little history in them.
You, if anybody, should understand that.
You shouldn't be up in the yard--
not tonight, not ever,
especially not tonight.
Relax van ripper, we didn't mess up any of your landscaping.
I'm sorry about stranding you.
It's okay,
Ian was taking me for coffee.
Beggin' your pardon, ma'am, but you should go with young vandersnot here.
- I need to talk to the teacher alone. - What?
He's come back.
He's come back for ye.
I need to talk to you.
- Let's go. - Karen: Ian, Ian.
( Sighs )
I can't leave this guy in the middle of the road.
Look at him, he's obviously smashed.
I don't want him to get hit by somebody else.
Rain check? Okay.
Ya sure you don't want to sit, son?
I can't, I'm already out way past my curfew.
My dad is gonna kill me.
I don't even know why I came here in the first place.
Oh, you don't, huh? Well, I think you do.
It's your destiny.
You can't run from your destiny, teacher.
What the are you talking about? And what's with all this teacher crap?
( Laughs ) You are a stubborn one, aren't ye?
I have to go, okay? I'm really sorry, but I do have to go.
I call ye teacher, on account of that's what you are.
Not by your trade, not even by your daddy's trade, but farther back.
Yeah, way farther back than that.
Your family lived here right in this house,
your family lived here right in this house,
nine generations back.
A teacher, a man called ichabod.
( Laughs )
- Ichabod? - Mmm.
Like ichabod crane? Are you kidding me?
Is this your big talk? My last name's not even crane.
It ain't no time for kidding.
I know your last name, I'll show you.
Your last name...
It's right--
maybe some other time, all right, claus? I gotta go, okay?
Hey.
Wait, teacher! Teacher, you got to listen to me.
Now listen, you got to let me show you.
I know you don't believe me, but if you'd let me show you--
in the graveyard, Irving's grave is covered with vines.
And the vines is flowing with blood.
Stop it, okay?
You messed up my night with Karen,
you made me drive out here, I'm late.
And why, huh?
Because you wanted to get drunk.
- Huh? - I gotta go.
Wait, wait, wait...
What?
You might make it. I don't feel nothing. Go on.
And I ain't drunk,
ya hear me? I ain't drunk.
( Rock music playing on radio )
( Engine shuts off, music stops )
Hello?
Claus, is that you?
( Horse whinnies )
( Screams )
- ( Horse whinnies ) - ( Man laughing )
Brody?
You all right, junior?
Look like you seen a ghost, again.
For Christ's sakes man, I think you dented my car.
Relax,
car's not worth but 500 bucks.
What the hell are you doing out here?
Just trying to warm up old Carter here.
It's been itchin' to get out.
I also needed to see if I could see out of this costume.
Yeah, it looks really nice.
Do you have a key for this gate?
Nope.
Nobody does.
That gate's been locked up since forever.
You got to go back over the bridge.
You know, man,
I've been thinking--
you should leave that to the professionals,
yeah, I think you should stop hanging around Karen so much.
Date somebody on your own level.
My own level, huh?
We had a long talk.
When I took her back home tonight,
it was all about us at the homecoming.
You know what, Brody, Karen's a big girl,
and I think you should let her make her own decision, okay?
( Rock music playing )
Man: Ian,
you and I are gonna have to have a little talk about this later, pal.
Right now you better get to sleep.
I want you at practice tomorrow.
- I can't. - You can and you will.
End of story. You broke curfew
and you owe me.
You're gonna be part of the team.
I am part of the team, dad.
( Rock music playing )
Bye.
Ian, Ian, hi.
I can't believe you're leading the poor kid on like that.
It's karmically unsound.
( Laughs ) Oh, excuse me, miss morality.
Maybe I like him.
He's funny, smart and still in high school.
If you're trying to make Brody jealous,
I could always set you up with one of rob's friends.
Thanks, but no thanks. I have this thing against guys
who have Greek letters tattooed on their ass.
- Tattoos beat zits. - Hey.
- Hi. - Nice outfit.
Thank you, it's the pep rally, today. You're coming, right?
You know what, I'd like to, but I really can't.
It's for the football team. I just feel out of place.
Come on, walk me to first and I'll talk you into it.
Voice on p.A.: Good morning, fellow students,
- and welcome to the homeroom bulletin. - You walk me to class?
- I am walking you to class. - Tonight's the ghostly hayride
and tickets are selling out fast...
You don't know what class you have? That's terrible.
- See you at the pep rally. - Ian, listen, it would mean a lot to me if you came.
You will not feel out of place, I promise.
And I'll be doing all my cheers for you.
- All your cheers for me? - Yes.
Well...
You guys seen Scott?
I got first with him and I need to copy his homework.
You were the one that left him in the graveyard last night, remember?
Brody: Maybe him and Amber pulled an all-nighter.
I haven't seen Amber either.
And she never called me back last night.
Brody: Man, this is bad.
Do you think something happened to them?
No, it's like the 50th time I've shown up without my homework.
Coach is gonna flunk me. Unless...
You got ballentine for geometry, don't you?
Okay, guys, I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you later.
Give it up.
Fine, all right, just do me a favor--
will you get some wrong so that she knows it's yours at least?
Whatever, man.
Woman: He keeps going through my yard...
Man: Okay, Mrs. vandynwick, I'll look into it.
Meanwhile you just sit tight and relax.
Anything comes up, I'll call you.
Okay, bye.
Sheriff, you gotta put a stop to this hayride.
It ain't safe for them kids to be up in the yard, not tonight.
It's a little early in the morning for this kind of garbage.
He's come back. I'm telling you, he's come back.
He's gonna be looking for a head. It ain't safe.
Anybody up in that yard tonight is fair game.
All right, I don't want to go through this kind of bullcrap this year.
But for the sake of repetition and clarity, tonight is Halloween.
There are vines growing out of Irving's grave.
The horseman has returned.
Tonight is Halloween.
It's also the night of the annual ghostly hayride.
And it's gonna go off without a hitch,
no pun intended, just like it does every other year.
But this ain't no normal year, not this year.
Young teacher has come back and he's woke him up.
Here, let me show you something.
See this? Look at the name on that.
- Right there. - Where did you get this?
Out of the mailbox. You see the name there?
Claus, the cranstons are good people.
And I'd like to make a good first impression with them.
You going through the mailbox like some kind of inbred--
well, that doesn't go good with my program.
You're not listening to me, sheriff.
You've got to stop this hayride tonight!
Request denied. Request denied.
Now I got some teenagers that are playing hooky I got to attend to.
You, you gotta go.
You're going to be picking up heads out of the graveyard.
Yeah, I should only be so lucky.
Teacher!
What the hell are you doing here?
We didn't finish our talk.
Look, claus, we already discussed this.
I'm not a crane, all right? I'm not.
Oh, you are a crane,
yes, ye are.
Yes, ye are.
Let me show you.
Ya see, ichabod left
and he changed his name right away,
probably because he was worried about the horseman coming after him.
Then he named his first son Richard cranston,
meaning crane's son.
Then two generations later
his grandson went out west and changed his name to cranston.
That's ye.
Okay, all that's means is that there really was an ichabod
and that maybe I'm related to him,
but this guy that wrote this book, what's his name?
Washington Irving.
Maybe he just knew ichabod, huh?
Used the guy's name, you ever think about that?
He knew him, all right. He wrote the story about him.
The legend is true. Everything in it is true.
Ichabod was killed by the horseman, right?
There's absolutely no way he could have had kids, or grandkids--
you know that's not true.
The story says that he was never seen again.
Not being seen again is not the same as not being alive.
You take it, you read it
and you learn everything by tonight, you understand?
( Sighs )
( Bell rings )
You're in big trouble, mister.
You said you'd be at the pep rally today.
No, I didn't.
You were going to before Brody interrupted us.
Maybe. Shouldn't you be there, right now?
Mm-hmm.
Hey, I thought you knew that by heart?
Oh...
No, I just watched the cartoon like every Halloween, so...
Okay, so how is this book more important than you coming to my pep rally?
That old guy claus gave it to me.
He was telling me that I'm related to ichabod.
Ichabod crane? Was there really such a guy?
Apparently so, there's a whole book about him.
What does crazy claus know about that?
- He says he's related to hans van ripper. - Who's hans van ripper?
I guess some guy that let ichabod stay at his guest house.
Hmm... who knew?
Anyway, there's lots of cool stuff in here, actually.
Stuff about the bridge and how the horseman can't cross it,
'cause if he does he bursts into flames or something--
spontaneously combusts.
Okay, so what are my chances of getting a ride and that coffee?
( Laughs ) I finish practice at like 4:00.
Does that sound good?
Yeah, perfect, cheerleading goes till about then, too.
( Laughs ) That's if they don't fire you first.
Fire me? No, I'm the best they got.
( Laughs )
You want to meet me at my car at 4:30? Sound good?
Yeah, okay.
Hello, Ian, whoo.
Hey, you two.
Ian, I just wanted to tell you
how excellent you were last night.
- Oh. - Wasn't he? I told you.
I knew you were an actor the first time I laid eyes on you.
You have got a lot of talent.
Well, thank you. It was a lot of fun.
Oh, that's good. Good, good.
I was wondering, can I ask you a favor?
Yeah, go ahead.
I know this is last minute, and you can say no if you want to,
but we just had a part open up on the hayride tonight.
It's actually the role of the graveyard guide.
I was wondering if you might help us?
- It would be fabulous. - I thought Scott was going to do that.
He was but he never came to pick up his costume.
There's a whole script to learn
and I know what a quick study you are.
And I know what a quick study you are.
It's just that there's a John carpenter festival on tonight,
and I really wanted to watch it.
Can you tape it?
Please, Ian, I'm getting desperate here.
You would be so perfect.
Come on, Ian.
And you get to introduce the white lady's tomb.
Okay, fine. All right, I'll do it.
Excellent! You'll come by the drama room and pick up your costume, okay?
Absolutely.
don't forget to invite me to the wedding.
There's no wedding, just a lot of sweaty sex.
( Laughs ) Ooh...
( Bell rings )
It's this kind of lack of commitment I'm talking about.
This is what keeps you guys from being number one.
What the hell is so difficult about making it to practice every day?
Huh?
You got 10 minutes to get your butts on that field.
And I don't want to see any screwing around.
Vanderveer.
Get Ian.
Damn it, hartman, loosen the wrist.
You see, you see what I told you?
Just relax.
Use your opponent's momentum to your own advantage.
Again.
( Screams )
That move is completely illegal
and you'd be disqualified in competition.
However, I do admire your instincts.
Ian, take a break.
Jocks.
You guys are big, but you're still playing soft.
When I played ball, you had to be tough as nails.
You had to have a hard head.
I want you to get out there and focus on your power today.
Okay? All right.
Thanks, vanderveer.
Go out and keep your eye on those guys before they hurt themselves.
Yeah, sure, coach.
Listen, pal,
I don't care what you do in your spare time.
You want to waste it with comic books and horror movies,
fine.
But when you're at school, you're gonna get your butt to practice.
I was at practice.
As long as you live under my roof,
you're gonna quit acting like an idiot.
That means no more fencing.
You're on j.V. Football.
Then I guess I'm gonna have to find another place to live.
Yeah, well, you think about it.
I will.
Ian...
I know, I know,
my dad pulled me out of practice.
Hey, at least you don't have to carry these things around.
- Those are nice. - Uh-huh.
You want to trade?
Okay.
- Why are you laughing? - No reason.
( Laughs )
Show me your stance.
En garde.
- Good. - Yeah, that's pretty good.
Your turn.
All right, you asked for it.
( High-pitched voice ) "Headless horseman.
He's our man.
If he can't do it, no one can.
- Go horseman." - ( Laughs )
Very good.
Cute, very cute.
- Your dad will be so proud, junior. - Thanks.
Brody, what do you want?
Can I talk with you for a second?
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
In private.
She's all yours.
It's about the homecoming.
Everybody knows your the only one I can go with.
Would you settle for a maybe?
Maybe? What do you mean, maybe?
You got a better offer or something?
Well, there maybe a dark horse in the running.
Junior?
( Laughs ) You're joking?
You've been hanging around him just to get me jealous.
It worked, okay? Now let the guy go,
and let him get over you.
You need to get over yourself.
Mrs. worthless said you'd be taking Scott's spot tonight.
Yup.
Who do you think you are, man? You're not even from here?
If you screw it up and don't build me up right,
I'm gonna beat your ass.
Okay, thanks Brody, that's nice.
I'll keep that in mind.
Yeah, you do that.
I used to think his entire life revolved around football,
but now I think he lives just to put on that stupid headless horseman costume.
Mrs. cranston: Hi, sweetheart, how was school?
Fine.
Dad won't quit it with this football thing.
He just wants your high school experience to be something to remember.
Yeah, my high school experience.
I'm the ghost in the hayride tonight.
You are? That's great.
What is it?
It's this annual haunted house thing our school does.
The drama teacher asked me to do it.
I'm sure dad will just be thrilled.
Give him a chance, Ian, he does love you.
He just has his own way of showing it.
Yeah, anyway, can you do me a favor?
Sure.
I set up the vcr in the back
and there's a couple of movies I want you to tape.
Just please, whatever you do, do not let dad touch it, okay?
- Okay. - All right.
( Crow cawing )
Listen ye well and heed my tongue,
your journey into darkness has just begun.
For as we travel through the graveyard tonight,
hold on to your loved ones very tight.
For as the dead arise from sleep,
it's towards the light that they will creep.
And if this truck should have a wreck,
and if this truck should have a wreck,
they'll sink their teeth into your neck.
And now we begin the ghostly hayride.
( Owl hooting )
Now we just have to head down this patch of road
right here towards the bridge.
And you should know that this is the same road
and you should know that this is the same road
that ichabod traveled upon
that fateful Halloween night.
The northwoods area of sleepy hollow
has long been known as a place densely populated
by spirits and specters of every imaginable shape and size.
Watch yourself.
( Growls )
All right, folks,
and this, my companions,
is the section of the haunted wood
that is inhabited by the most beautiful ghost of all--
the ill-fated bride who was slashed--
murdered by her own groom to be,
and discarded in a lake not far from here.
If you look closely,
you can see the unearthly beauty right now.
All right.
Let's go.
Well, folks, it seems like we almost
made it out of the haunted woods alive.
But it seems like we've forgotten one thing--
the most fearsome legend in all of sleepy hollow,
the legend of...
( Horse hooves thumping )
Did you hear that?
Shh...
- ( Dull thud ) - ( Screaming )
- Give me your heads. - Let's go!
( Screaming )
( Horse whinnies )
( Laughs )
- You jerk. - Jeez, Karen, relax.
Are you crazy? You're gonna scare these poor kids to death.
That's what they came here for.
Besides, nothing wrong with a scare every now and then.
You're a jackass.
All right, looks like we made it
out of the haunted woods alive.
But I'll tell you what, the night's young.
And the headless horseman's still out there looking,
looking for a head.
Oh, honey, that was even better than last night.
- Thanks. - I'd go again,
but your dad's waiting for me to come home
and help him with the trick-or-treaters.
Yeah, that's fine.
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for coming.
Sure.
Claus: Teacher!
( Mumbles )
I need to talk to you, now.
He's your change and your ticket.
Have a good time.
Well, hello, Mrs. van etten.
So glad you could make it.
Well, someone had to.
I hope you enjoy it.
Doubtful. I'm only here to make sure
none of those morons damage anything.
Those tombstones...
Some of them are over 100 years old.
Not to worry, Mrs. van etten.
I handpicked everyone who's involved.
Thank your lucky stars.
What do you want me to do? I can't take off,
I made a commitment to do this.
It's too dangerous teacher, you can't go up there, you can't take the chance.
Listen to me, claus, this isn't funny anymore.
Claus: Forget the hayride, you got to come with me.
But I can't go. I already told her I would do it, all right?
- See you after. - Yes.
Ian, you're getting rave reviews.
- Thanks. - Hello, Mr. van ripper.
I was telling young teacher here that you got to call this whole thing off.
You can't go on this hayride. I can't let him go up there.
Mr. van ripper, you know we can't do that. What is this all about?
The vines are growing. They're full of blood.
They're feeding the horseman and he's getting stronger.
I read your book. It did not say one thing about vines in the entire book.
Not everything has got to be in the book.
Whoo-hoo! Excuse me, sheriff?
What can I do for you, Nancy?
Duncan, our good groundskeeper here
seems to be hitting the bottle again.
I am not drunk.
I'm telling you for the last time,
the dark rider is afoot.
Now, don't be damn fools.
Claus, I can't have you spoiling the hayride.
What do you say I give you a ride home?
No, now listen to me, you're the only one that can save us.
You got to stand up to him. You got to face him.
If you don't face him, all of us are going to die.
Do ya hear me? We're gonna die.
All right, claus,
let's say me and you take a walk up to the cemetery
and clear all those kids out.
Would that make you feel better?
Yeah, but what about the teacher?
The teacher will be fine. Let's me and you do that.
- All right. - All right, come on.
Thank you.
You're doing a wonderful job, my dear, but just f.Y.I.,
you're doing a wonderful job, my dear, but just f.Y.I.,
there's a very grumpy, very influential old lady on this one, so...
Now would be a great time to shine.
Man: Here we go. Here he comes.
Shh...
Listen ye well and heed my--
excuse me, beautiful boy, excuse me,
but this hay stinks.
( Sighs )
Okay, here's what I can do for you,
I'll talk to the organizers when we get back,
and I'll get it all taken care of.
Yes, you should be sure to do that.
Okay.
Listen ye well and heed my tongue,
for our journey through darkness has just begun.
As we travel through the graveyard tonight,
hold on to your loved ones with all your might.
Sorry you two, this one's all full.
What? Come on, Mrs. worthen.
How long till the next one?
Not until next year, I'm afraid.
That was the last trip.
I'm sorry.
Come on, let's go.
We can still go. We'll just make our own tour.
I bet there's nobody watching the gate. We could just climb over.
Erica, that thing is sold out.
Let's just go home. We could rent a couple of scare flicks
let's just go home. We could rent a couple of scare flicks
and make some margaritas or something. It'll be fine.
You sound like my parents.
Come on, rob, let's put fun back in funeral.
Teach me the meaning of the word "boneyard."
( Laughs )
Erica...
I can't believe it.
You're scared. You are, aren't you?
You're afraid to go into the graveyard, like a little bitch.
I'm not a little bitch.
Yeah? Prove it.
Okay.
Claus: What are you doing, sheriff? You're heading the wrong way.
You're going back to town!
Take it easy. Take it easy, claus.
A good night's sleep will take care of everything.
You haven't heard a word I've said.
I'm telling ye, the horseman is back.
- He is on the prowl. - Yeah, yeah.
Tomorrow he'll be Brody vanderveer,
captain of the varsity football team again,
but tonight, can't you just let the kids have their fun, huh?
They'll be having loads of fun once them heads start to roll.
Uh, sheriff...
don't stop, don't stop. We gotta go back.
- We gotta go and warn 'em. - What the hell is that?
Damn, that is some costume, ain't it?
Sheriff, don't get out of the car. don't, sheriff.
Hey, Brody,
aren't you supposed to be up in the forest?
You're gonna disappoint a lot of folks if they don't get to see the old horseman.
( Growling )
Hey, don't you think you ought to be getting up there?
Huh?
( Roars )
Brody?
( Roars )
Hey, wait a minute.
( Rapid chop )
( Hoofbeats fade )
This sucks.
What do you want to do?
- I don't like this. - What?
I thought this was what you wanted?
For one thing, I'm freezing.
It's like two degrees out here.
I'm not exactly inspired to take my clothes off.
Okay, do you want to get out of here?
No, I've got a better idea.
What?
- In there? - Sure, why not?
I don't know, it's a shed in the middle of a graveyard?
I know.
What do you say, stud--
a little doggie style with the dead?
A little zombie-frombie?
Could be kinda kinky.
Oh yeah,
that's it, rob.
That's perfect.
( Moans )
Please don't stop.
( Sword slices, splatters )
rob? I said don't stop.
All right, you know what?
Just forget it.
I said just forget it!
( Screaming )
Well, well, well...
Looks like we almost made it out of the haunted woods,
but it seems we have forgotten about one thing--
the most fearsome legend in all of--
- help me! - Erica?
He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us all!
What the hell are you talking about?
( Screaming ) The headless horseman.
There's no such thing as the headless horseman.
Then what the hell is that?
( Roars )
( Pants, screams )
Woman: It looks so real.
So distasteful.
- Start the truck. - We're supposed to wait for the horse--
( dull thud ) Yar, give me your head.
I need a head.
Start the goddamn truck, right now!
Hey, who's that guy?
( Growls )
Ian: Brody, no!
God, that looks real.
That is real.
Brody, look out!
( Metal clangs )
Oh, shit! Come on!
( Horse whinnies )
Karen: Ian?
- What are you doing here? - What is going on?
- No, no, no, come on. - What?
Come on, let's go. We got to go.
( Grunts, coughs )
( Rapid hoofbeats )
( Growls )
( Roars )
Ian, stop, stop. What is going on?
- What are you doing? - This is ridiculous.
Come here, I got to get you on that truck.
- Why? Why-- - I have to, because people are dying, okay?
- What? - Erica is dead.
- What? No, no-- - please.
Hey, keep running, all right? Just come on.
Come on!
Whoo. ( Laughs )
Yeah! Yeah, that's right,
yeah! Yeah, that's right,
punk ass, you don't want none.
Go 'head, take it back to momma.
( Laughs, whoops )
Yeah.
- Hey, what the hell are you stopped for? - That.
The horseman's coming back! We're all gonna die.
Move it! Get in!
- Man: Let's go, let's go! - Ian: Let's go!
Hold on!
Karen: What are you doing?
( Screams )
Man: What are you doing? Who's driving this truck?
Let's get them out of here, all right?
Hey, wait!
Karen, get back in the car.
No way, not until you tell me what's going on.
There's no time. Just get back in the car.
Ian, I'm staying with you.
Gordon, get out of here, we'll lead him the other way. Go on!
Hurry up!
Let's go, come on.
Help me. Help me.
Get me out of here.
Help! Oh, help!
Help! Help!
Oh, shit.
Help! You got to get me out of here.
Yeah, all right, chill out.
You got any idea how to do that?
Go around the driver's side-- it's open.
You can unlock the doors from there.
( Gasps )
don't pay any attention to him.
You can't help him now. Open the door.
What are you talking about? There's a dead body right here.
Come on, open the door. You can do it, I know you can.
You can do it.
Whoa...
Claus: Unlock it.
There you go.
I gotta get my ax. We got to help young teacher,
or else everybody's gonna die.
Forget that, I'm going to the good side of the bridge.
There are people up there.
Your girl is up there too. She's in trouble.
What are you going to do about her?
She made her decision, she chose junior.
Listen, son, this is real.
Now, look, you're part of a new legend, young vandersnapper.
When people tell your story 100 years from now,
you want to be known as a coward or as a hero?
( Pants )
All right, all right, damn it.
- Let's do it. - That's the story.
Ian, wait, I can't, I can't, no.
Yes, you can. Hey, hey, hey...
Come on, yes, you can.
Just please, get up, okay? Please.
( Horse whinnies )
Ian: Oh, shit.
All right, there's a cabin over there.
Just go over there and lock yourself in.
- No, Ian, I'm staying with you. - No, you're not.
Just go, I'll be right back.
I'll be back, I promise. Just go. Lock the door.
( Screams )
Oh, god!
Okay, okay...
( Gasps ) Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god!
Guard your tool. Here it is.
( Woman screams )
- Karen. - The shed! Step lively.
( Hoofbeats click )
- Karen! - Oh my god, get me out of here.
- Brody: Get away from the window. - No, no, I can't.
- Yes, you can. - No, I can't.
- Now do it! - You don't know what's back here.
- Give me that. - Is the teacher in there with ye?
- Karen, get away from the window. - Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
( Horse whinnies )
( Growls )
Brody.
Where's the teacher?
- I don't know. - You two, get to the bridge as fast as you can.
- You're not coming with us? - No, me and the teacher got to meet this head on.
( Screaming )
- You all right, teacher? - Yeah.
Oh my god, you killed him.
You can't kill what's already dead. Let's get out of here.
( Growls )
Come on, claus.
- What? - ( Rapid hoofbeats )
Come on, get up, get up. Here, here...
Let's go, come on.
Karen: Ian, run!
Ian, hurry!
- Oh my god. - Come on, guys, don't stop.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, Ian, I thought you-- I don't know--
- I know, I know. - I was calling you.
( Laughs )
- Oh my god. - Are you okay?
It's over, all right, I promise you, it's over.
Over? Nothing's over.
What are you talking about? We made it across the bridge--
the horseman has no powers over here, right?
What about them hayride people?
I busted the gate. They all got out.
You did what?
I wrecked the fence-- the fence that leads into the graveyard.
- Dear lord. - What?
Dear lord, what?
The horseman wants me. I'm on the other side of the bridge.
There's no way he could get me, right?
No, he ain't that particular.
You may be the last of the line
and he'll take your head if he's given a choice,
but tonight, that horseman wants a crane.
Any crane will do.
Oh my god, dad.
( Football game playing on TV )
- Losers. - ( Doorbell rings )
I'll get it.
Hello?
Claus: We need something from the horseman's own time.
Where the hell are we gonna find something from the revolutionary war?
Right here. This here is my great- great-great--
it's my great- great-great- great-great--
the hell with it. It's an ancestor of mine.
He's in there with a full military uniform, and there's a sword.
We gotta push this thing off. Everybody pull together. Push.
( Claus groans )
Claus: This one. Open her up.
- ( Grunts ) - Ugh, sick.
Claus: All right, son, grab that sword.
Come on.
( Ian coughs )
Now, you got to run this straight through the demon's heart
and send him straight back to hell.
And send him straight back to hell.
You think you can do that?
Yeah.
( Sighs )
What's this?
A program Ian wanted to watch.
He's got it all set up to tape.
I don't want to watch this.
Where's the remote?
- Come on, give it to me. - No.
Lucy, give it to me.
- No. - Give it to me.
- No...
( Doorbell rings )
I'll get it.
Trick or treat!
Honey, we got customers.
- Are you the dad? - No, I am.
Ah...
Oh, wow, look at you guys.
Great costumes!
Well, thanks.
- Announcer: First and 10 in the closing minutes... - Carl, turn it back.
- Honey, don't start. - Come on.
( Groans )
- Honey... - ( Doorbell rings )
It's just more trick-or-treaters, you get it.
You didn't go to either of his things,
the least you could do is let me tape his program.
Here.
Okay, you little blockheads,
it's called trick or treat.
If I give you candy, you're supposed to go
play ding-dong ditch somewhere else.
( Growls )
Okay...
Okay, no more candy.
See how you like the dark.
No-neck bastards.
Everything okay?
Just some kids screwing around.
That's what Halloween's for, right?
Come on, when was the last time
we watched a scary movie?
I never liked these things.
- What are you talking about? - Nah...
You used to take me to these all the time.
Yeah, well...
Somebody told me
girls get horny when they're scared.
( Laughing )
Well...
It worked.
- Yes, it did. - Yeah.
( Dull thud )
Probably those kids.
It didn't sound like kids.
( Screams )
- Get in inside, get inside, right now. - Ian!
What the hell are you doing?
What's going on?
Come here, get away from the door.
- Hey, sweetie! Sweetie, hi. - Ian.
Just do what I say!
Who made this movie? What else did he do?
- Ian, what the hell? - How was the second hayride?
Ian, where did you get that sword?
Ian, you're acting like an idiot.
- ( Pants ) - Ian.
( Growls )
Mom, get outta the way--
damn!
Damn!
- Dad, don't! - Mr. cranston: Damn, those kids.
( Growling )
Hey.
Oh my god!
Mrs. cranston: No!
( Groans )
( Gasping )
You okay?
( Knocking on door )
Is that claus?
- Claus? - Claus: Teacher.
Hey, it worked. He ran off.
No, the horseman don't run.
Ye know that as well as I do.
If he's gone off, it's to gather more strength
so he can lop off more heads and feed the vines.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?
- Ye got to go after him. - Mr. cranston: Are you crazy, old man?
My son's not going after that lunatic.
Oh no, he ain't going alone. You're going with him, coach.
Nobody's going anywhere-- not until we call the police.
Yeah, except the sheriff is lying out there
with a stump where there used to be a head.
With a stump where there used to be a head.
- What? - Ian: Dad, it's us.
We're the only ones that can stop him--
nobody else, just us, dad.
What do we got to do with this?
We're cranes!
We're descendants of ichabod crane.
Ian, you sound crazy. What the hell are you talking about?
I know how I sound, dad. I know--
what makes you think we'd stop him?
Because...
Dad, we've done it before.
And we have to do it again, we have to.
Just trust me, okay?
Please.
What the hell's that?
God damn it.
( Dull thud )
- Where is he? - ( Pants )
- ( Cape flapping ) - What the hell was that?
Son of a bitch.
- He's messing with us. - Dad, where is he?
( Sharp flapping )
( Panting )
- ( Bird caws ) - Did you hear that?
( Cawing )
( Roars )
- ( Growls ) - ( Ian screams )
Dad!
- What's the matter with you, you sick son of a bitch? - ( Roars )
You want to take the head of a crane when he's knocked out?
Why don't you come and get mine, you bastard! Come on.
( Roars )
Hey!
Horseman, you hear me?
I beat you.
Crane's beat you again. How do you like it, huh?
( Faint footsteps )
We beat you!
( Roaring )
His heart, teacher. Drive it through his black heart.
- ( Screams ) - ( Growls )
That's it, teacher, you got him.
( Grunts )
Oh, jeez.
Teacher.
( Roars )
Teacher!
The bridge!
( Screaming )
I'm real proud of you, teacher, you done good.
Thanks a lot.
There's your dad.
Ian!
- You okay, dad? - Hell, yes. Took a lot worse when I played ball.
Back then, you had to be tough as nails.
Ian: You had to have a hard head, too, right?
Hey.
( Sighs )
don't you worry, son, your reward will be far greater
than the warm supple embrace of tender woman flesh.
You just remember our deal, van ripper.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you are a hero.
You are a hero, young vander...
- Veer. - Yeah, whatever.
That's the way I'm gonna write it.
( Chuckles )
Coach, wait up.
Claus: Are you two planning on making babies?
( Both laugh )
I was actually thinking of taking her to the homecoming dance first,
- but you know-- - no, I mean in the future.
Because if you are, you got to promise me something.
- Karen: What's that? - They got to have your last name, ma'am.
Or else you're gonna have to hyphenate.
I ain't going through this again. Is that a deal?
- Yes, that's a deal. - Promise?
- Karen: Yes. - Deal.
Let's take you home, huh, claus?
( Owl hooting )
( Sniffs )
( Roars )
( Pop music playing )
♪ Girl ♪
♪ I saw you dancing ♪
♪ I'm looking like trash ♪
♪ but yet you're glancing ♪
♪ I said "hello ♪
♪ I'm a rock star" ♪
♪ she said ♪
♪ "I don't care who you are ♪
♪ just take me with you ♪
♪ and I will blow your mind" ♪
♪ this girl was crazy ♪
♪ completely out of line ♪
♪ but how she amazed me ♪
♪ should've seen her grind ♪
♪ I guess she blew my mind ♪
♪ so we've gone past dating ♪
♪ she's spending my cash ♪
♪ and I'm up waiting ♪
♪ I said, "baby, why the new car?" ♪
♪ she said, "I'm the girlfriend of a star ♪
♪ just let me have this ♪
♪ and I will blow your mind" ♪
♪ this girl was crazy ♪
♪ completely out of line ♪
♪ but how she amazed me ♪
♪ I guess she blew my mind ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I should've seen her grind ♪
♪ I guess she blew my mind ♪
♪ uh-huh ♪
♪ so typically me ♪
♪ always falling for the easy ♪
♪ and now i can't breathe ♪
♪ so typically me ♪
♪ always falling for the easy ♪
♪ and when you can't see ♪
♪ she's gonna blow your mind ♪
♪ this girl was crazy ♪
♪ completely out of line ♪
♪ but how she amazed me ♪
♪ I should've seen her grind ♪
♪ she's gonna blow your mind ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ she's gonna blow my mind ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ completely out of line ♪
♪ I guess she blew my mind. ♪
( Rock music playing )
♪ Falling deeper ♪
♪ deeper, deeper ♪
♪ falling deeper, deeper ♪
♪ falling deeper ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I can't feel a thing ♪
♪ crawling, sinking ♪
♪ I feel I'm suffocating ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I can't feel a thing ♪
♪ crawling, sinking ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I can't feel a thing ♪
♪ crawling, sinking ♪
♪ I feel I'm suffocating ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ I can't feel a thing ♪
♪ crawling, sinking ♪
♪ sinking, sinking ♪
♪ I can't feel a thing ♪
♪ crawling, sinking. ♪