1 00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:04,403 HELEN: I need a head count for dinner. 2 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:05,537 Sounds expensive. 3 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,506 Double-cut lamb chops. They were on sale. 4 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,573 Ooh, then I'm in and I'm grilling. 5 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:09,641 Also present. 6 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:12,011 Got a date. Unless I can bring her. 7 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,829 Lilly? Of course. 8 00:00:13,898 --> 00:00:15,898 Maybe I'll wait until you stop saying her name 9 00:00:15,966 --> 00:00:17,732 in a voice only dogs can hear. 10 00:00:17,802 --> 00:00:19,168 Up to you. 11 00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:20,552 Joan? 12 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,088 I'm passing on Bambi tonight. Thanks. 13 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,722 Bambi was venison. 14 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:25,890 Thumper, then. 15 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,059 Uh, rabbit. 16 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:29,727 Whatever. I'm skipping dinner. 17 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:31,896 Honey, you can't isolate yourself at a time like this. 18 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,932 You definitely shouldn't stop eating. 19 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,100 Time like what? 20 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,735 She and Adam. 21 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:38,954 LUKE: She dumped Rove. 22 00:00:39,022 --> 00:00:40,823 I had a very good reason. 23 00:00:40,891 --> 00:00:42,825 A very good reason I can't disclose. 24 00:00:42,893 --> 00:00:44,993 Did it involve a wardrobe malfunction? 25 00:00:45,061 --> 00:00:47,913 Well, it didn't involve a member of the clergy. 26 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:48,997 What does that mean? 27 00:00:49,065 --> 00:00:50,582 Kevin's cavorting with a nun. 28 00:00:50,650 --> 00:00:51,917 Ex-nun. 29 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,635 I don't like the dating years. 30 00:00:53,703 --> 00:00:55,137 (DOORBELL RINGS) 31 00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:56,738 I'll go. 32 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,241 Why not? Maybe I'll get kidnapped. 33 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,943 WILL: He's not the only fish in the sea. 34 00:01:02,012 --> 00:01:03,979 Some day you'll look back at this and laugh. 35 00:01:05,449 --> 00:01:06,715 He doesn't deserve you! 36 00:01:06,784 --> 00:01:08,283 Okay, just stop. 37 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:12,988 Yeah? Good morning. 38 00:01:13,057 --> 00:01:14,873 Am I speaking to the lady of the house? 39 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,908 Of course I am, and what a lovely lady. 40 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:18,743 How are you this fine spring morning? 41 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,363 What I have to show you today will change your life. 42 00:01:21,431 --> 00:01:24,032 Well, at least it'll change your carpet. 43 00:01:24,101 --> 00:01:25,150 I see you don't have a carpet. 44 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:28,036 This works equally well on hardwood floors, 45 00:01:28,104 --> 00:01:29,303 area rugs, upholstery, 46 00:01:29,372 --> 00:01:30,472 you name it, Joan. 47 00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:36,995 Come here. 48 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:39,565 All those churches, and God still has to go door to door. 49 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,732 When I say clean, 50 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:41,833 I'm not talking tidy. 51 00:01:41,886 --> 00:01:43,318 Can we just get to it? 52 00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:45,036 I know you're hurting. 53 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,505 You need to do something about that. 54 00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,957 And I'm sure you have a really great suggestion. 55 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,558 You need to clean. 56 00:01:51,662 --> 00:01:52,895 Clean what? 57 00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:54,095 What needs cleaning. 58 00:01:55,899 --> 00:01:57,666 Well, I already dumped my cheating boyfriend. 59 00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,401 That's not clean enough for you? 60 00:01:59,469 --> 00:02:01,853 Cleaning is a process of discovery. 61 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,605 It changes your perception, 62 00:02:03,674 --> 00:02:05,773 and it makes things smell good. 63 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,077 I wouldn't even know where to start. 64 00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,579 Start anywhere. 65 00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:12,013 Just clean. 66 00:02:12,783 --> 00:02:13,815 It's therapeutic. 67 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,087 Can't I just go to therapy? 68 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,847 According to study results put out by Harvard, 69 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,515 Joan and Adam had 5 of the 8 70 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,885 positive predictors of a successful relationship. 71 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,220 Looks like a nautical theme for spring. 72 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,755 GRACE: Can't get enough of that look. 73 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,391 (SIGHS) 74 00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:40,959 LUKE: Shared common interests, 75 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:42,327 proud of their connection... 76 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:43,395 Velour? 77 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,862 Why are we giving that another chance? 78 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:45,914 Confided in each other, 79 00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:47,983 I mean, easily resolved conflicts. 80 00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:49,351 Probably held a similar, you know, 81 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,685 socio-political belief system. 82 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,753 Dude, Rove was putting it around. 83 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:56,891 I don't want to know that. 84 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,328 Ugh! God, do I have to beat him up now? 85 00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,763 Heh! Sure, why not throw pugilism into the pot? 86 00:03:01,832 --> 00:03:02,897 This freaks me out. 87 00:03:02,966 --> 00:03:04,098 Why are you not freaked out? 88 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,701 Why would I be? It's how dating works. 89 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,369 We're dating. We're not like that. 90 00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,204 Yet. Grace... 91 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,206 Look, we're not really dating, 92 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,741 we're making out. 93 00:03:12,810 --> 00:03:14,108 We have a relationship. 94 00:03:14,177 --> 00:03:15,444 An arrangement. 95 00:03:15,512 --> 00:03:17,111 Whatever. The point is, 96 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:19,381 they had way more going for them 97 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,149 in terms of compatibility, and they're over, 98 00:03:21,218 --> 00:03:22,818 which just, you know, makes you think. 99 00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:24,419 Not me. 100 00:03:24,488 --> 00:03:26,938 GRACE: Oh, now that is a good use of a cow. 101 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,322 Grace! 102 00:03:28,392 --> 00:03:29,424 We're not discussing this anymore, dude, 103 00:03:29,493 --> 00:03:31,093 we're looking at a jacket. 104 00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:33,277 Tell me that's not the coolest jacket in the world. 105 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,462 It's nice. 106 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,766 They're not us, okay? 107 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:53,848 Hi. 108 00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:54,983 Hey. 109 00:03:56,954 --> 00:03:58,854 I'm dropping out of physics study group. 110 00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:00,905 Why? 111 00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:03,258 'Cause I thought it might make things easier on you. 112 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,825 Easier on me? Please. 113 00:04:04,894 --> 00:04:06,327 (SCOFFS) 114 00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:08,813 Don't do me any favors. Really, you've done enough. 115 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,349 Great. Glad to see you've moved on. 116 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,485 Moved on? Moved on? 117 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,087 I am so far moved on, I'm invisible! 118 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,789 That's how moved on I am! 119 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,211 Physics, I presume? 120 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,598 Not really. Heh. 121 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,466 Just don't bring it to class. 122 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,402 Keep it in your own magnetic field. 123 00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,006 Breakups are the worst. 124 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:37,175 I have some scars myself. 125 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,511 Stacy Ann Beesom. Sophomore year. 126 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,847 I sometimes imagine her getting caught in a ceiling fan. 127 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,816 Guidance counselor who's still hung up 128 00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,518 on his high school girlfriend. 129 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,919 Not encouraging. 130 00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:50,689 Oh, no, I've been trounced on way more recently. 131 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:54,025 It's just too raw to discuss. 132 00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,027 I guess I just need to adjust, 133 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,095 but thanks for listening. 134 00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:58,563 Listen, high school boys 135 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,164 are just hormones with car keys. 136 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,634 They can't help themselves. I know. I was one. 137 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,469 I wish I would find that comforting. 138 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,871 Hey, you know I am always around. 139 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,040 You want to call me, day or night... 140 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,542 I know, hit you on your cell. 141 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,311 Wow, now I'm a routine. 142 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,714 No, no. It's nice. Thank you. 143 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:19,150 I mean it, any time. It's what I do. 144 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:21,653 Watch it. 145 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,255 Floor's wet. 146 00:05:23,307 --> 00:05:25,607 You know, if I were God, I'd give myself better jobs. 147 00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:28,376 How do you know this job isn't fun? 148 00:05:28,445 --> 00:05:29,544 You haven't tried it. 149 00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:31,429 (SCOFFS) I picked up. 150 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,532 I told you, 151 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,434 I'm not talking about being tidy. 152 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,086 I'm talking about really getting in there 153 00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:39,771 where the real dirt lives. 154 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,439 Just lifting up the rock 155 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,757 and looking underneath it. 156 00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,159 Could you please not wave that thing around? 157 00:05:44,228 --> 00:05:45,944 I feel diphtheria coming on. 158 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,612 Joan, you can't get clean 159 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,314 until you get your hands dirty. 160 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,299 That's all I'm saying. 161 00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:53,518 Okay, that is never all you're saying. 162 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:59,341 And don't do the wave. I am so over the wave. 163 00:06:03,647 --> 00:06:07,081 Sorry, Johnny is such a hard name to remember. 164 00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:08,750 So easy to forget. 165 00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:10,118 GILDA: Johnny. 166 00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:11,753 See you later, Mr... 167 00:06:11,822 --> 00:06:13,254 (CAT MEOWING) 168 00:06:13,323 --> 00:06:16,892 I want to live when it was okay to have hips and smoke. 169 00:06:19,663 --> 00:06:21,696 Oh, here. Hold on. 170 00:06:21,765 --> 00:06:24,866 W-w-wait, there's, like, Tippy hair on there. 171 00:06:24,935 --> 00:06:26,801 Sorry. That's okay. 172 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,469 (MUMBLING) You know... 173 00:06:28,538 --> 00:06:30,572 No, you're not bothering us. 174 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:31,789 (MUMBLING) 175 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,925 Ginger, I keep forgetting you're even here. 176 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,409 Okay? Don't worry about it. 177 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,695 (MUMBLES) Okay. 178 00:06:37,847 --> 00:06:40,315 How... How can you understand her? 179 00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:41,566 What do you mean? 180 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:42,934 Well, nothing, I guess. 181 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,587 But does she ever leave? 182 00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:47,322 The apartment? 183 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:49,257 No, she's agoraphobic. 184 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,992 You know, afraid of the world. 185 00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:52,727 How do you deal with that? 186 00:06:52,796 --> 00:06:54,028 You kidding? 187 00:06:54,097 --> 00:06:55,764 I used to live in a convent, okay? 188 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,332 What's one phobic roommate who mumbles? 189 00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:02,737 (MUMBLING) Um... 190 00:07:02,806 --> 00:07:05,173 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love some tea. 191 00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:06,241 Kevin, you want some? 192 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:07,425 Uh, no, thank you. 193 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,135 Wait. So she like never leaves? 194 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,471 Well, she left once last year. 195 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:20,571 Fire drill. 196 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,410 So I'm going to have to set a fire for us to be alone? 197 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,946 Uh, have you ever thought about getting your own place? 198 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:34,519 God, that was rhetorical, but you really haven't. 199 00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,354 Yeah, someday, sure, 200 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,673 but there are practical things to consider. 201 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:40,692 (SIGHS) 202 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,944 There's considerations 203 00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:44,362 that are practical. 204 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,581 Like? 205 00:07:47,183 --> 00:07:48,332 Money. 206 00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,034 You--you make more money than I do. 207 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:52,787 And other stuff. 208 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,322 Uh... 209 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,524 You're gonna make me say it. Okay. 210 00:07:56,593 --> 00:08:00,162 I have to have help. 211 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:05,367 Okay, there are all kinds of county programs for in-home care. 212 00:08:05,435 --> 00:08:07,235 You seriously have never thought about it? 213 00:08:07,304 --> 00:08:10,705 Well, I haven't had to before now. 214 00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:14,074 Okay, but you can't live with your parents forever. 215 00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:17,378 I mean, it is very sexy and all, but I don't know. 216 00:08:17,447 --> 00:08:19,514 You are a very obnoxious nun. 217 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,782 I know. 218 00:08:28,525 --> 00:08:29,790 Um, um... 219 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,860 The tea, the tea. 220 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,228 (MUMBLING) 221 00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:36,664 LILLY: Oh, great. Tea. Thank you. 222 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,200 Great. 223 00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:40,918 (GINGER MUMBLING) 224 00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,614 What are you doing? 225 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,915 Just a little spring cleaning. 226 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,817 No, really. 227 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,585 Mom, you say that like I never clean. 228 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,154 Should I be worried? 229 00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,840 No, I'm fine. 230 00:09:18,909 --> 00:09:20,341 It's therapeutic. 231 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:22,343 No, don't step on the return pile, please. 232 00:09:22,412 --> 00:09:24,345 That all goes back to Tuchman. 233 00:09:24,414 --> 00:09:27,281 What, you--you have Tuchman's stuff? 234 00:09:28,251 --> 00:09:32,186 Yeah. Loans me books and CDs. 235 00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:34,172 He's trying to be part of the youth culture. 236 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,891 Is that appropriate? 237 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,460 He's just trying to be cool, Mom. 238 00:09:38,528 --> 00:09:40,044 He's a goof. 239 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,212 Hey, is this yours? 240 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,099 That's my mother's cameo. 241 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,500 Well, I almost threw it out. 242 00:09:48,071 --> 00:09:49,804 So, 243 00:09:49,872 --> 00:09:52,974 honey, I'm here if you want to talk. 244 00:09:53,042 --> 00:09:54,992 This is your first big breakup, and... 245 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:56,561 I don't want to talk. 246 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,646 This is helping. 247 00:11:35,846 --> 00:11:36,894 Here. 248 00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:40,331 What's that? 249 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,499 It's your stuff. I thought you'd want it back. 250 00:11:43,353 --> 00:11:44,452 Why? 251 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,837 Spring cleaning. It's therapeutic. 252 00:11:48,257 --> 00:11:49,607 But I made all that for you. 253 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,245 Ahem, yeah, right, but it's yours. 254 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:55,813 You know, it's your art. 255 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,665 I thought you'd want to give it to someone else. 256 00:11:59,269 --> 00:12:02,303 Not, like, another girl, but, you know, uh, 257 00:12:02,372 --> 00:12:04,672 maybe for a gallery 258 00:12:04,741 --> 00:12:06,474 in the future, 259 00:12:06,543 --> 00:12:07,642 or something. 260 00:12:12,615 --> 00:12:13,681 See you around. 261 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,455 Helen, what is it? 262 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:38,589 It's Kevin. 263 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,024 Oh, my God. 264 00:12:43,914 --> 00:12:45,446 Is--is he ok? What happened? 265 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,482 I got inspired by Joan's spring cleaning, 266 00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:50,885 so I decided to clean Kevin's room as a little surprise to him, 267 00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:52,286 and I found this. 268 00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:56,624 I don't get it. 269 00:12:58,595 --> 00:13:01,696 Those are ads for single bedroom apartments 270 00:13:01,765 --> 00:13:03,364 circled in red. 271 00:13:05,601 --> 00:13:08,002 Help me. I'm a man. 272 00:13:08,071 --> 00:13:10,071 Kevin's looking for an apartment. 273 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,058 Right. 274 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,360 He's thinking about moving out. 275 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,046 Well, that's good. 276 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,781 Good? 277 00:13:20,850 --> 00:13:23,034 It means he's feeling more independent. 278 00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:25,019 Well, honestly, 279 00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:27,488 okay. 280 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,140 It's about sex. 281 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,725 He's 21. 282 00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,094 With Lilly, the ex-nun. 283 00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:38,766 He's getting an apartment so he can be with her in the apartment. 284 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,387 I don't know what to say. 285 00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:47,191 Well, he can't be on his own, Will. 286 00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:52,196 Honey, did you really think he was gonna be with us forever, 287 00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:55,199 and is that really what you want? 288 00:13:57,687 --> 00:13:58,853 Forget it! 289 00:13:58,922 --> 00:13:59,954 Helen. 290 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,312 Should have changed it... Oh. 291 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,446 Oh, Mr. Tuchman, sorry. 292 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,614 I thought you were at lunch. 293 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:10,948 I was just gonna leave these. 294 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:13,318 Joan, I'm with a student. 295 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,752 Yeah. I'll be quick. I just was cleaning out my closet, 296 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,588 and I found a bunch of stuff that you lent me. 297 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,056 Badly Drawn Boy, loved it. 298 00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,640 Leonard Cohen needed a therapist. 299 00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,342 TUCHMAN: Just leave it right there. 300 00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:23,995 Oh, now this, The Love Poems of E.E. Cummings. 301 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,145 I thought he was all about typos. 302 00:14:25,214 --> 00:14:26,397 This stuff is amazing. 303 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:27,948 E.E. Cummings? 304 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,836 Oh. Well, I'm--I'm sorry. 305 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,154 You just said, "any time," so... 306 00:14:35,492 --> 00:14:36,891 (SOBBING) 307 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,042 Chelsea... 308 00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:43,414 What was that? 309 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:44,966 That was a troubled student. 310 00:14:46,202 --> 00:14:47,869 I didn't know you actually counseled people. 311 00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:48,936 Yeah. 312 00:14:49,005 --> 00:14:50,037 She's gonna be okay? 313 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,457 I think so. I think so. 314 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,857 It's really up to her, isn't it, 315 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:56,177 us being the architect of our own reality and all? 316 00:14:57,046 --> 00:14:58,145 What about you? 317 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,965 Are you okay? 318 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:03,867 Okay. 319 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:05,669 Yeah. 320 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,920 Um... Thanks for the stuff. 321 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,222 Any time. 322 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:14,278 Look, okay, dude, I know that Superman eventually learned to control his powers, 323 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,647 but I'm just saying that the first few times that he took a leak, 324 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,883 I mean, he must've just blown apart the porcelain. 325 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,685 Yo, Astroboy, wait up! 326 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,689 That's for you. 327 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:25,757 For me? 328 00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:26,858 Wear it. 329 00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:31,962 Dude, put it on. 330 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,214 I can't just decide to wear leather and do it. 331 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,599 Right, you have to own it first. 332 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,552 You gonna let it intimidate you? 333 00:15:38,621 --> 00:15:40,521 No. You tell it who's boss. 334 00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:42,640 She gave me a gift. Right. 335 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,608 She's never done that before. 336 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,160 Exactly. So you have no choice. 337 00:15:46,228 --> 00:15:47,928 It's all about attitude, anyway. 338 00:15:47,997 --> 00:15:49,196 That's the whole thing. 339 00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,417 Nice. 340 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,053 Ahem. 341 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,955 Attitude and a little tailoring, maybe. 342 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,194 I may need a little time. 343 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,596 And time. Time will help. 344 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:09,750 The laws of physics are immutable, 345 00:16:09,819 --> 00:16:11,519 are they not, noble warriors? 346 00:16:11,588 --> 00:16:12,587 (STUDENT SNORING) 347 00:16:12,655 --> 00:16:13,854 The answer... 348 00:16:13,923 --> 00:16:14,922 (BANGS ON TABLE) 349 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:17,592 They are until they aren't! 350 00:16:17,660 --> 00:16:19,193 Copernicus said 351 00:16:19,262 --> 00:16:22,363 that the Earth was not the center of the universe. 352 00:16:22,432 --> 00:16:25,032 They nearly killed him. 353 00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:31,639 Likewise, Newton said that white light contains all the colors of the spectrum. 354 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:35,543 People jumped off buildings to avoid engaging in such a reality. 355 00:16:35,612 --> 00:16:41,181 Kierkegaard said that in order to build an hypothesis worth trusting, 356 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,385 we must first tear down all existing thought, 357 00:16:44,454 --> 00:16:46,703 which can get pretty messy. 358 00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,256 Is he rocking? 359 00:16:49,392 --> 00:16:50,524 I think he's rocking. 360 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,461 (LAUGHS) 361 00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,699 It's not just his moving out, 362 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,368 and it's not just an overprotective mother thing. 363 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:05,022 There are issues. Kevin has special needs. 364 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,358 And not just the special needs she's thinking about. 365 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:10,494 Helen, perhaps you should be discussing this with Will. 366 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:13,164 I tried. I really did, but he's a man. 367 00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:17,551 And you're a man, too, but a different kind of man. 368 00:17:19,188 --> 00:17:20,421 She's a nun. 369 00:17:20,490 --> 00:17:21,522 Ex-nun. 370 00:17:21,591 --> 00:17:23,707 And she's older than he is. 371 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,910 I feel like she's influencing him. 372 00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,728 That must be difficult for you. 373 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,514 So my point is, do you think you could talk to her? 374 00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:33,034 About her love life? 375 00:17:33,102 --> 00:17:34,218 Mmm-hmm. 376 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:36,187 No. I feel intensely uncomfortable 377 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,387 talking to you about it. 378 00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,257 Why? You're a priest! 379 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:41,459 I'm sorry. 380 00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,828 You hear everything. 381 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,249 I really don't hear this particular dilemma very much. 382 00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,952 When was the last time you and Will had a chance 383 00:17:52,021 --> 00:17:53,971 to sit and discuss things like this 384 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,439 as a couple? 385 00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,774 What things? 386 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,726 I'm talking about empty nest syndrome. 387 00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:02,496 This is not empty nest syndrome. 388 00:18:02,565 --> 00:18:04,898 It's a real thing. People go through it. 389 00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:06,534 Maybe some counseling would be good. 390 00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:07,785 That's all I'm saying. 391 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:08,986 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 392 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,854 You know what? This isn't helpful. 393 00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,473 I'm sorry. 394 00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:16,711 Do me a favor and don't introduce me to any more nuns. 395 00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:19,446 Not a problem. 396 00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:31,776 Please, have a seat, Ms. Girardi. 397 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:34,711 I didn't do anything. 398 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:35,813 I swear. 399 00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,983 Ms. Girardi, 400 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:42,352 Mr. Tuchman is your college advisor, is that correct? 401 00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:47,041 Yes. 402 00:18:47,110 --> 00:18:50,377 And have you been spending a lot of time with him as a consequence? 403 00:18:52,181 --> 00:18:53,331 More than I used to. 404 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,050 Because I decided to go to college and all. 405 00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:59,954 Uh, he's been giving me guidance. What's this all about? 406 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:05,176 And did Mr. Tuchman give you a book of love poems 407 00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,762 and other personal items? 408 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,113 Love poems? 409 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,664 Those things I saw in your room. 410 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,999 Oh, that... That was his stuff. 411 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,535 You know, it was just some CDs and books, 412 00:19:15,605 --> 00:19:17,037 but I gave it back. 413 00:19:17,106 --> 00:19:19,022 But what we're worried about 414 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:22,460 is whether or not Mr. Tuchman has been 415 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,111 inappropriate with you. 416 00:19:25,548 --> 00:19:27,548 Ew! 417 00:19:27,617 --> 00:19:30,051 Gross. Mom, are you kidding me? 418 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:31,768 (CLEARING THROAT) Do you know Chelsea Burnett? 419 00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:36,090 (CLEARING THROAT) Yeah, I know who she is. 420 00:19:36,159 --> 00:19:38,993 She claims that he lured her into an 421 00:19:39,062 --> 00:19:41,162 intimate relationship, 422 00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:42,796 and that she's not the only one. 423 00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:46,867 She says he's also involved with you. 424 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,454 That's nuts. 425 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,755 She's 426 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,257 crazy. 427 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,758 I 428 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,894 went to Tuchman's office to return that stuff, 429 00:19:57,963 --> 00:20:00,481 and Chelsea was in there. She was crying and... 430 00:20:04,487 --> 00:20:07,087 Oh, no. She totally got the wrong idea 431 00:20:09,358 --> 00:20:11,358 because I cleaned out my closet. 432 00:20:13,496 --> 00:20:15,646 Well... 433 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:18,249 I'm gonna have to take your word for it at this point. 434 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:19,533 There will be an investigation. 435 00:20:19,602 --> 00:20:21,886 We'll need to talk to you again then. 436 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,405 All right, you may go. 437 00:21:06,115 --> 00:21:07,214 Or like this. 438 00:21:07,283 --> 00:21:08,882 All wrong, never get anywhere. 439 00:21:08,951 --> 00:21:10,384 The active ingredient 440 00:21:10,453 --> 00:21:11,619 is oxygen, 441 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,187 but then, 442 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,488 you know that. 443 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,640 Thanks for the great advice, as usual. 444 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,241 People get comfortable with mess. 445 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:19,726 It starts to look normal to them. 446 00:21:19,795 --> 00:21:21,979 When you move it around, dust flies. 447 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:24,098 It has to get worse before it gets better. 448 00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:26,933 Great, and I'll bet it hurts you more than it hurts me. 449 00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:28,252 The point is, Joan, 450 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,071 don't stop cleaning. It's just a mess. 451 00:21:31,140 --> 00:21:33,040 All a mess needs is some tension, 452 00:21:33,108 --> 00:21:34,775 some effort, a little vision. 453 00:21:34,844 --> 00:21:37,177 Before you know it, you'll start to see daylight. 454 00:21:37,246 --> 00:21:39,813 You know, technically speaking, it's not even my mess. 455 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,348 We're all in this together. 456 00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,500 There's never been a stain that can't be removed. 457 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:46,520 All you have to do is roll up your sleeves... 458 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:50,891 Ahh, that feels good. 459 00:21:52,095 --> 00:21:53,860 ...and start scrubbing. 460 00:21:53,929 --> 00:21:56,547 Because the longer you ignore a mess, 461 00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:57,865 the bigger it gets. 462 00:22:02,672 --> 00:22:03,737 Huh. 463 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,925 Okay, what I like is low-maintenance tenants 464 00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:12,029 on account of I work on my poetry during the day. 465 00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:15,899 Uh, has this place ever really been cleaned? 466 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:18,752 I mean with real cleaning products? 467 00:22:18,821 --> 00:22:20,888 Whoa! I'm sensing hostility. 468 00:22:20,957 --> 00:22:22,439 Uh, look, I'm just saying, 469 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:25,542 but, uh, what? No extra charge for the mold? 470 00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:27,945 Hey, look, if you're gonna be high-maintenance... 471 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,980 You know what? Don't worry, all right? I'm not living here. 472 00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:31,115 Yeah, but you're staying here, 473 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:32,433 I want you to be comfortable. 474 00:22:33,369 --> 00:22:34,684 I'm staying here? 475 00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:36,620 What? You're not staying here? 476 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:40,574 You assumed that I'm going to be spending the night? 477 00:22:40,643 --> 00:22:41,975 You want to move on to the kitchen? 478 00:22:42,044 --> 00:22:43,343 There's a brand new garbage disposal. 479 00:22:43,413 --> 00:22:45,662 I thought that was kinda the point. 480 00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:48,499 The... 481 00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,517 The point? 482 00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:52,919 Hey, you guys need some personal space? 483 00:22:52,988 --> 00:22:54,622 You assumed that this was about sex? 484 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:56,957 Ok, I'm, uh, 485 00:22:57,025 --> 00:22:59,126 just gonna head back. 486 00:22:59,194 --> 00:23:01,762 Well, what was I supposed to think? 487 00:23:01,831 --> 00:23:04,414 Uh, try anything, anything else! 488 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:07,434 A grown-up move or a rite of passage. 489 00:23:07,503 --> 00:23:11,421 I mean, anything but a nookie palace. 490 00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:15,041 Point of adulthood, people don't actually say "nookie palace." 491 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,545 Point of respect, 492 00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:24,468 this is a huge and humiliating assumption on your part. 493 00:23:24,536 --> 00:23:26,337 It never occurred to you that this subject 494 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:28,072 might be a little difficult for me, 495 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:30,674 that we should have a serious talk about it 496 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:35,095 because it's something that I haven't confronted before? 497 00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,293 (KNOCKING) 498 00:23:52,782 --> 00:23:54,565 Oh, this is... This is a bad idea. 499 00:23:54,617 --> 00:23:56,700 I only need a minute. Were you followed? 500 00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,984 Let me in. I can help you. 501 00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:05,692 Welcome to my nightmare. 502 00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:09,129 I've been engaged in some primo soul-searching. 503 00:24:09,198 --> 00:24:12,066 Shove aside the polyhydrogenated treat of your choice 504 00:24:12,134 --> 00:24:13,183 and have a seat. 505 00:24:15,837 --> 00:24:18,989 Mr. Tuchman, I just wanted you to know that I believe you 506 00:24:19,058 --> 00:24:21,291 and I defended you. 507 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,312 I don't know why Chelsea got me involved with this, but 508 00:24:26,615 --> 00:24:28,815 I feel responsible, and I want to help you 509 00:24:30,018 --> 00:24:31,435 clean up. 510 00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,520 It was bound to happen eventually. 511 00:24:33,589 --> 00:24:35,338 So you really are having a thing with her? 512 00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:37,374 Of course not. She's a child. 513 00:24:38,110 --> 00:24:39,176 I'm a grown man, Joan. 514 00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:43,530 What happened? 515 00:24:43,599 --> 00:24:45,932 Well, Chelsea's a disturbed girl. 516 00:24:46,002 --> 00:24:47,785 That's why I was counseling her. 517 00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:50,437 She was having debilitating anxiety attacks. 518 00:24:50,506 --> 00:24:51,838 Somewhere along in there, 519 00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,074 she became convinced that she was in love with me. 520 00:24:54,143 --> 00:24:56,210 I couldn't talk her out of it. I tried. 521 00:24:57,513 --> 00:24:58,695 I probably should have just walked away, 522 00:24:58,764 --> 00:25:01,098 but, oh, no! Dana Tuchman to the rescue. 523 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:03,484 You want some tea, a Coke, or something? 524 00:25:03,553 --> 00:25:06,936 The point is, this is all just a huge misunderstanding. 525 00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,672 It's a mess, Mr. Tuchman, 526 00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:11,141 and all a mess needs is... 527 00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:13,327 Is a little vision, a little attention, 528 00:25:13,395 --> 00:25:15,295 a little effort. 529 00:25:15,364 --> 00:25:17,614 Before you know it, it'll all be cleaned up. 530 00:25:17,683 --> 00:25:19,182 So what I think we need to do 531 00:25:19,235 --> 00:25:21,001 is make a list of references, 532 00:25:21,070 --> 00:25:23,971 you know, kids who will vouch for you, adults, too. 533 00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:25,756 Do you happen to have a girlfriend? 534 00:25:28,044 --> 00:25:29,709 Or an ex-girlfriend, 535 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,712 maybe someone who will give a reference on your behalf? 536 00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,714 Just Elaine. Elaine. Great. 537 00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:37,084 TUCHMAN: She won't do it. She resents me. 538 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:39,336 Well, Elaine who? 539 00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:40,621 Lischak. 540 00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:44,041 "Lischak," as in "Ms. Lischak?" 541 00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,776 Yeah. 542 00:25:45,844 --> 00:25:47,127 You dated Ms. Lischak? 543 00:25:47,830 --> 00:25:49,630 Dated her? 544 00:25:49,699 --> 00:25:50,914 I adored her. 545 00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,451 I revered her. 546 00:25:54,519 --> 00:25:55,602 Well, what happened? 547 00:25:55,671 --> 00:25:56,703 (SIGHS) 548 00:25:56,772 --> 00:25:58,538 She dumped me over the summer. 549 00:25:58,607 --> 00:26:00,107 Why? 550 00:26:00,175 --> 00:26:02,876 She said I didn't act my age. 551 00:26:02,945 --> 00:26:04,728 Could you go now? My mom's gonna be home soon. 552 00:26:04,796 --> 00:26:06,714 Okay. So you guys had an actual relationship. 553 00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,099 My hair was too long. 554 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:10,500 She didn't like the earring. 555 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,102 She had a list. They always have a list. 556 00:26:12,171 --> 00:26:13,370 The point is, 557 00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:18,875 Ms. Lischak knows that you're not into hitting on students. 558 00:26:18,944 --> 00:26:20,944 I mean, you're obviously into older women, right? 559 00:26:21,013 --> 00:26:22,446 What is she, like, 20 years older than you? 560 00:26:22,981 --> 00:26:24,414 Five. 561 00:26:24,466 --> 00:26:26,250 You really have no sense of chronology, do you? 562 00:26:26,318 --> 00:26:31,188 All I'm saying is that maybe we can get her to testify on your behalf. 563 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,390 I think it's better if we just leave it alone, okay? 564 00:26:34,459 --> 00:26:36,526 If you ignore a mess, it only gets bigger. 565 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,345 Okay, I'll do all the advising around here. 566 00:26:42,234 --> 00:26:44,951 Look, I know what you all think about me. 567 00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:49,323 You think I'm a loser. 568 00:26:49,392 --> 00:26:51,392 You think I've abandoned all my promise and my dreams 569 00:26:51,460 --> 00:26:52,760 and I'm just slumming it. 570 00:26:52,828 --> 00:26:54,762 I'm acting like a kid because I'm too afraid 571 00:26:54,830 --> 00:26:56,129 to fit into the adult world. 572 00:26:56,832 --> 00:26:58,031 Well, you know what? 573 00:27:01,003 --> 00:27:02,936 You're absolutely right. 574 00:27:03,005 --> 00:27:06,206 And what you're witnessing is the natural conclusion 575 00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:07,424 to a misspent life. 576 00:27:10,346 --> 00:27:11,911 It's over. 577 00:27:11,980 --> 00:27:14,381 How can you say that? You're only 30. 578 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:16,383 Twenty-nine. Mr. Tuchman, 579 00:27:16,452 --> 00:27:19,520 there is no such thing as a stain that can't be removed! 580 00:27:19,588 --> 00:27:23,357 DANA'S MOM: Dana! Dana! I told you to bring the trash cans around! 581 00:27:23,426 --> 00:27:25,008 Can you slip out the back, please? 582 00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:26,376 Will you just think about it? 583 00:27:26,445 --> 00:27:27,644 Please? Will you just think about it? 584 00:27:27,712 --> 00:27:28,912 Please. DANA'S MOM: Dana, how many times 585 00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,013 must I ask you... Just think about it. 586 00:27:30,082 --> 00:27:31,448 ...to do things around the house? 587 00:27:33,636 --> 00:27:36,736 And you left the cereal bowls in the sink again. 588 00:27:42,544 --> 00:27:43,543 Are you mad at me? 589 00:27:43,612 --> 00:27:45,278 I'm not. No. 590 00:27:45,347 --> 00:27:46,313 Because it feels... 591 00:27:46,382 --> 00:27:47,780 I am not mad. 592 00:27:49,485 --> 00:27:50,550 Okay. 593 00:27:53,822 --> 00:27:56,956 But if you were, what would you be mad about? 594 00:27:57,026 --> 00:27:58,091 Good morning. 595 00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:00,677 KEVIN: Am I interrupting? 596 00:28:00,745 --> 00:28:01,711 No. Of course not. 597 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:02,812 Not at all. 598 00:28:02,881 --> 00:28:05,149 I'm kind of low on laundry. 599 00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:06,583 Really? 600 00:28:06,652 --> 00:28:09,536 Yeah. I'm wearing pink socks. 601 00:28:12,874 --> 00:28:14,541 Well, pink is the new black. 602 00:28:14,609 --> 00:28:16,660 (SCOTT LAUGHING) 603 00:28:16,728 --> 00:28:19,613 But seriously, I've got a business meeting tomorrow. 604 00:28:19,682 --> 00:28:22,666 What do you suppose other people do when they run out of clean clothes? 605 00:28:22,735 --> 00:28:24,735 I supposed they do their laundry, 606 00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:27,337 which I've always volunteered to do, but... 607 00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:30,790 I don't mind doing it. I'm trying to illustrate a point. 608 00:28:30,859 --> 00:28:33,610 It's just something you're not accustomed to doing for yourself. 609 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:41,718 Look, I don't know how you found out, 610 00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:45,922 but you don't have to worry, 'cause I'm not moving out. 611 00:28:45,991 --> 00:28:49,025 I thought about it and I decided against it, 612 00:28:49,094 --> 00:28:51,060 so... 613 00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:54,064 You'll have a gimp in your house for a long time to come. 614 00:28:59,204 --> 00:29:01,204 I'll just buy some socks. 615 00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:12,582 Ms. Lischak? 616 00:29:12,651 --> 00:29:14,151 Ms. Girardi. 617 00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:17,020 No extra credit this term. I've been very clear about that. 618 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:19,122 No, no. This is about something else. It's about Mr. Tuchman. 619 00:29:19,191 --> 00:29:20,557 Eh! Out of bounds. 620 00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:21,842 Not for discussion. 621 00:29:23,746 --> 00:29:25,579 But he's in trouble. He needs your help. 622 00:29:25,648 --> 00:29:27,714 Mr. Tuchman knows how to grow up. 623 00:29:27,783 --> 00:29:30,701 He chooses not to, which is why he's in the mess he's in. 624 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,669 It's up to him to crawl out of it. 625 00:29:32,738 --> 00:29:35,271 You know, sometimes when a person is in a mess, 626 00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:36,740 they can't even see the mess. 627 00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:38,775 It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. 628 00:29:38,844 --> 00:29:42,228 Juxtaposed coherent aggregates vibrating in unison 629 00:29:42,297 --> 00:29:45,866 or harmonic ratio are mutually attracted. 630 00:29:46,969 --> 00:29:48,184 Okay. 631 00:29:49,321 --> 00:29:51,922 Tuchman has attracted this mess, 632 00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:54,190 pulled it into his orbit. 633 00:29:54,259 --> 00:29:56,026 No one else can fix it but him. 634 00:29:58,063 --> 00:30:00,197 But according to 635 00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:02,566 unified field theory, 636 00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:03,733 aren't we all 637 00:30:04,869 --> 00:30:06,319 in the same mess? 638 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:09,206 Yes. 639 00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:10,573 But it's just a theory. 640 00:30:11,827 --> 00:30:13,192 Dismissed, grasshopper. 641 00:30:25,524 --> 00:30:27,391 Hey. I've been looking for you. 642 00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:29,092 I wanted to give you your stuff back. 643 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,627 Why? 644 00:30:30,696 --> 00:30:32,962 In order to make room for the stuff you gave back to me, 645 00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:35,231 I had to clear some space out. 646 00:30:36,302 --> 00:30:37,601 Frida Kahlo? 647 00:30:39,738 --> 00:30:41,171 Your airbrush pen? 648 00:30:43,008 --> 00:30:46,075 The sea monkeys? I gave these to you. I wanted you to have them. 649 00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:48,878 I did. I had them and now I don't. 650 00:31:02,394 --> 00:31:04,194 LUKE: You know, I don't know, man. 651 00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:07,897 Call me crazy, but I think I could do boots next. 652 00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:09,532 Whoa! Slow down, Icarus! 653 00:31:09,601 --> 00:31:11,335 The wings are made of wax, remember? 654 00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:13,470 Look at that. 655 00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:16,206 GRACE: Walking ahead and with a swagger? 656 00:31:16,275 --> 00:31:17,623 What have I done? 657 00:31:17,692 --> 00:31:19,092 I don't know, but undo it. 658 00:31:19,161 --> 00:31:21,728 I've tried. He won't give the jacket back. 659 00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:24,998 What is wrong with men? Are they broken? Are they missing parts? 660 00:31:25,067 --> 00:31:26,532 I don't know. 661 00:31:26,601 --> 00:31:27,734 Like Tuchman. 662 00:31:27,802 --> 00:31:30,036 How nuts is that? And with Chelsea Burnett? 663 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:31,771 She's totally bipolar. 664 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,874 No, no, no, no, no. He didn't do it. 665 00:31:34,609 --> 00:31:35,742 So why is he leaving? 666 00:31:36,711 --> 00:31:37,710 Leaving? 667 00:31:37,779 --> 00:31:39,079 Yeah. That's what I heard. 668 00:31:39,147 --> 00:31:41,114 They sent he and his earring packing. 669 00:31:41,183 --> 00:31:42,515 Oh, man. 670 00:31:42,584 --> 00:31:43,616 Where are you going? 671 00:31:49,708 --> 00:31:51,157 Unbelievable. 672 00:31:52,962 --> 00:31:54,695 I just have to get it off my chest 673 00:31:54,763 --> 00:31:55,896 that I don't want to be here. 674 00:31:55,965 --> 00:31:58,699 I'm not a big fan of therapists or priests. 675 00:31:58,767 --> 00:32:00,567 I'm doing this to make my wife happy. 676 00:32:00,636 --> 00:32:02,035 Your candor is appreciated. 677 00:32:02,103 --> 00:32:04,053 I have more where that came from. Will. 678 00:32:04,122 --> 00:32:06,356 But I'll keep it to myself. 679 00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:08,808 We're here because, as you know, 680 00:32:08,877 --> 00:32:10,343 I've had 681 00:32:10,412 --> 00:32:12,479 some difficulty dealing with some things lately. 682 00:32:12,548 --> 00:32:13,629 Kevin leaving. 683 00:32:13,699 --> 00:32:15,365 No. There's more to it than that. 684 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,000 As you know, 685 00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:18,451 Will and I had a hard year. 686 00:32:18,519 --> 00:32:19,953 HELEN: We had the lawsuit. 687 00:32:20,039 --> 00:32:22,388 We had his boss. 688 00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:25,191 I think I'm probably still angry about all that. 689 00:32:25,260 --> 00:32:26,793 And then the empty nest thing. 690 00:32:26,879 --> 00:32:29,145 It's not an empty nest thing. 691 00:32:29,214 --> 00:32:31,731 My nest is not empty, so stop saying that. 692 00:32:33,335 --> 00:32:34,851 It can't be that simple. 693 00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:36,402 I think it is. 694 00:32:37,806 --> 00:32:39,205 Listen to the priest, honey. 695 00:32:43,612 --> 00:32:46,746 I was mean to him. I didn't do his laundry. 696 00:32:46,815 --> 00:32:48,698 I undermined him. 697 00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:50,500 You tried to keep him home. 698 00:32:50,569 --> 00:32:53,002 Safe. Like a child. 699 00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:56,256 But how horrible is that? 700 00:32:56,324 --> 00:32:59,943 It's just a thing that happens, Helen, to a lot of people. 701 00:33:00,011 --> 00:33:01,477 You'd be able to see that more clearly 702 00:33:01,546 --> 00:33:04,147 if Kevin's situation weren't complicated. 703 00:33:04,216 --> 00:33:05,648 You're gonna go through some things with him 704 00:33:05,718 --> 00:33:07,650 that are unrelated to his condition. 705 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,036 This is one of them. 706 00:33:11,507 --> 00:33:12,939 Is he saying I'm normal? 707 00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:16,626 I hate that. 708 00:33:16,695 --> 00:33:17,744 I know. 709 00:33:18,847 --> 00:33:20,046 (SIGHS) 710 00:33:23,852 --> 00:33:26,452 I was gonna be so evolved. 711 00:33:27,556 --> 00:33:29,122 I was gonna be thrilled 712 00:33:29,191 --> 00:33:32,826 to see my children happy and independent, 713 00:33:32,894 --> 00:33:35,545 ready to take on the world. Especially Kevin. 714 00:33:35,613 --> 00:33:36,646 And 715 00:33:38,216 --> 00:33:40,617 to realize I don't want that? 716 00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,552 You do want that. You just don't like it. 717 00:33:44,489 --> 00:33:45,688 (SIGHS) 718 00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:50,359 And then after he leaves, 719 00:33:50,429 --> 00:33:53,162 Joan is gonna leave, and then... 720 00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:55,298 Then Luke is gonna leave. 721 00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:58,501 Let's take them one at a time, okay? 722 00:34:07,662 --> 00:34:09,061 Hey, what are you doing? 723 00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:10,629 Hey! Packing up. What are you doing? 724 00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:12,165 They fired you? 725 00:34:12,234 --> 00:34:13,599 I resigned. 726 00:34:13,668 --> 00:34:15,452 Chelsea recanted, but I resigned anyway. 727 00:34:16,922 --> 00:34:18,387 Why? 'Cause I shouldn't be here. 728 00:34:19,090 --> 00:34:20,373 You showed me that. 729 00:34:20,442 --> 00:34:22,609 Well, I didn't mean to show you that. 730 00:34:22,678 --> 00:34:25,594 Underachieving, acting like a child, my life was going nowhere, 731 00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:28,214 and the thing is, I never would have had the courage to face that 732 00:34:28,283 --> 00:34:29,799 if this horrible thing hadn't happened, 733 00:34:29,868 --> 00:34:32,752 so you know what? Thank you for helping make it horrible. 734 00:34:35,123 --> 00:34:36,356 Well, what are you gonna do now? 735 00:34:36,425 --> 00:34:40,076 I don't know. You know, hit the road, follow my bliss, 736 00:34:40,145 --> 00:34:41,795 all that Joseph Campbell stuff. 737 00:34:41,863 --> 00:34:44,981 The truth is, I was afraid to try to be great, 738 00:34:45,049 --> 00:34:46,816 so I settled for mediocre, 739 00:34:46,885 --> 00:34:48,585 but once you hit rock bottom, 740 00:34:48,653 --> 00:34:50,620 you lose your fear, and it's... 741 00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:51,938 It's fantastic. 742 00:34:52,907 --> 00:34:54,441 Wow. Okay. 743 00:34:55,743 --> 00:34:56,777 What about your mother? 744 00:34:58,213 --> 00:34:59,429 Moving out. 745 00:35:00,933 --> 00:35:01,948 How is she taking it? 746 00:35:02,016 --> 00:35:03,700 She'll get over it when I tell her. 747 00:35:05,236 --> 00:35:06,369 I'm telling her tonight. 748 00:35:07,405 --> 00:35:08,555 Is it true? 749 00:35:09,341 --> 00:35:10,873 Elaine? 750 00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:13,009 Just tell me if it's true. 751 00:35:13,078 --> 00:35:14,110 Which part? 752 00:35:14,179 --> 00:35:15,912 You're quitting, going on the road, 753 00:35:15,981 --> 00:35:17,063 throwing off the shackles? 754 00:35:17,132 --> 00:35:19,065 Shackle free. Leaving your mom? 755 00:35:19,134 --> 00:35:20,183 I'm telling her tonight. 756 00:35:21,820 --> 00:35:22,819 Haircut? 757 00:35:22,887 --> 00:35:23,970 Nope. 758 00:35:24,439 --> 00:35:25,488 A little. 759 00:35:29,194 --> 00:35:30,660 You're excused, Girardi. 760 00:35:30,729 --> 00:35:32,012 Yeah. I'm gonna go. 761 00:35:34,665 --> 00:35:36,266 (ELAINE GIGGLES) 762 00:35:38,636 --> 00:35:40,370 Hey, you don't have to do that. 763 00:35:41,572 --> 00:35:43,106 I don't mind. 764 00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:46,109 No, no, no, Mom, really. I'm taking it to the Fluff 'n' Fold. 765 00:35:46,177 --> 00:35:48,444 I can afford it, and I have to stop depending on you. 766 00:35:51,516 --> 00:35:54,868 Kevin, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. 767 00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:58,070 It's okay. 768 00:35:58,139 --> 00:35:59,806 And I think you should move out. 769 00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:02,742 Right now? 770 00:36:02,811 --> 00:36:03,843 No. 771 00:36:04,646 --> 00:36:05,778 But soon. 772 00:36:06,515 --> 00:36:07,697 When you're ready. 773 00:36:08,984 --> 00:36:11,417 Now I have to leave before I cry. 774 00:36:11,486 --> 00:36:14,337 Hey, can I ask you a question? 775 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,072 HELEN: Okay. 776 00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:19,910 What do women want? 777 00:36:21,095 --> 00:36:22,329 Shoes. 778 00:36:22,397 --> 00:36:23,430 What else? 779 00:36:26,134 --> 00:36:27,767 It's complicated. 780 00:36:27,836 --> 00:36:29,236 I think you might have to spend the rest of your life 781 00:36:29,304 --> 00:36:30,403 figuring that one out. 782 00:36:31,539 --> 00:36:33,439 I knew what they wanted in high school. 783 00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:36,359 It's so different now. I mean, 784 00:36:36,427 --> 00:36:38,228 what do I have to offer her 785 00:36:39,464 --> 00:36:42,198 besides my wit and my charm? 786 00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:43,283 That's a given. 787 00:36:45,086 --> 00:36:46,286 (SIGHS) 788 00:36:48,823 --> 00:36:52,892 She wants to be respected, 789 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,828 listened to, understood. 790 00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:57,897 She wants flowers. 791 00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:00,950 She wants to laugh. 792 00:37:03,455 --> 00:37:06,322 She wants to trust you. 793 00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,124 (SNIFFLES) 794 00:37:08,193 --> 00:37:10,026 She doesn't want to read your mind. 795 00:37:11,112 --> 00:37:13,929 She wants to be valued for who she is. 796 00:37:13,999 --> 00:37:16,565 And sometimes she wants you to just shut up 797 00:37:16,634 --> 00:37:19,369 and stop trying to fix things. 798 00:37:20,271 --> 00:37:21,304 (SNIFFLES) 799 00:37:25,510 --> 00:37:27,510 This is going to be very difficult. 800 00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:31,381 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 801 00:37:31,449 --> 00:37:32,482 Uh-huh? 802 00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:34,717 Oh! 803 00:37:40,875 --> 00:37:42,091 What happened? 804 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,710 Oh, this? It's my new look. 805 00:37:44,779 --> 00:37:46,246 I'm also wearing a ton of perfume 806 00:37:46,314 --> 00:37:49,682 and I'll probably be saying things like "no way" a lot. 807 00:37:49,751 --> 00:37:50,850 I don't think you're being logical. 808 00:37:50,919 --> 00:37:51,968 Have you looked in a mirror? 809 00:37:52,037 --> 00:37:54,570 Oh, yeah! Kelly green. 810 00:37:54,639 --> 00:37:56,505 The preppy thing totally works for me. 811 00:37:59,377 --> 00:38:01,561 Grace, you can't look like that. 812 00:38:01,630 --> 00:38:03,430 How does it feel watching someone you thought you knew 813 00:38:03,498 --> 00:38:06,166 have a total personality transplant? 814 00:38:06,234 --> 00:38:08,434 You gave me the jacket. I was trying to make you happy. 815 00:38:08,503 --> 00:38:10,587 Well, stop. 816 00:38:10,639 --> 00:38:12,505 Because if you don't stop, I'm gonna kill you. 817 00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,408 Look, I panicked. 818 00:38:15,477 --> 00:38:18,077 It was like you were saying the whole Adam-Joan thing, 819 00:38:18,146 --> 00:38:19,979 they're so much alike and they didn't make it, 820 00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:23,115 and I over-thought it. 821 00:38:23,902 --> 00:38:25,201 You were worried... 822 00:38:25,270 --> 00:38:27,087 Leave it. 823 00:38:27,155 --> 00:38:28,504 ...about losing me. 824 00:38:28,573 --> 00:38:31,006 Drop the jacket, dude. This conversation's over. 825 00:38:33,010 --> 00:38:36,145 Okay. I'll take it off, 826 00:38:36,214 --> 00:38:39,048 but I won't give it back. 827 00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:40,166 What are you gonna do with it? 828 00:38:40,968 --> 00:38:42,067 Just keep it around. 829 00:38:43,538 --> 00:38:44,587 Like art. 830 00:38:45,774 --> 00:38:46,839 Fair enough. 831 00:38:52,463 --> 00:38:54,497 Turn around. We're closed... 832 00:38:54,565 --> 00:38:56,199 For everyone but God. 833 00:38:56,935 --> 00:38:58,201 This won't take long. 834 00:38:59,404 --> 00:39:01,537 I'm looking for a T.S. Eliot poem. 835 00:39:02,908 --> 00:39:07,243 It starts, "April is the cruelest month. 836 00:39:07,312 --> 00:39:09,745 "Breeding lilacs out of the dead land, 837 00:39:09,814 --> 00:39:11,747 "Mixing mem... " Ooh! 838 00:39:11,816 --> 00:39:12,848 Here it is. 839 00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:16,685 The Waste Land. 840 00:39:16,754 --> 00:39:18,321 That's perfect for me. 841 00:39:20,225 --> 00:39:21,908 It's like my life. 842 00:39:21,977 --> 00:39:24,594 It's all about spring cleaning, 843 00:39:24,662 --> 00:39:27,263 dragging things out into the light, 844 00:39:27,332 --> 00:39:30,333 how hard it is to look at our own dirt, 845 00:39:30,402 --> 00:39:32,668 how comfortable it is to be in denial. 846 00:39:32,737 --> 00:39:35,488 The idea about April being the cruelest month... 847 00:39:36,357 --> 00:39:39,025 Cruel in its beauty, 848 00:39:39,093 --> 00:39:43,379 cruel in its insistence upon resurrection. 849 00:39:43,448 --> 00:39:45,698 You know what? I'm not even annoyed with you. 850 00:39:45,767 --> 00:39:47,767 I'm glad I helped Tuchman. 851 00:39:47,836 --> 00:39:49,502 I can even admit that you were right. 852 00:39:49,571 --> 00:39:51,871 How's that for progress? 853 00:39:51,940 --> 00:39:54,557 Well, it's good, but you're not finished. 854 00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:57,793 Yeah. I know. I know I am never finished. 855 00:39:57,862 --> 00:39:59,812 I get that you're not ever going away. 856 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,581 I mean with the cleaning. 857 00:40:01,649 --> 00:40:04,400 There's still a big stain on your carpet. 858 00:40:06,187 --> 00:40:07,904 Have you seen my room? 859 00:40:07,972 --> 00:40:09,238 You could eat off the floor. 860 00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:10,690 You could perform surgery. 861 00:40:10,758 --> 00:40:12,075 It's not in your room, Joan. 862 00:40:13,311 --> 00:40:14,427 Then where is it? 863 00:40:15,129 --> 00:40:16,162 You know. 864 00:40:17,399 --> 00:40:19,332 Yeah. Yes, I do know. 865 00:40:19,401 --> 00:40:21,767 I just like the sound of my own confusion. 866 00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,152 You know where it is. 867 00:40:23,805 --> 00:40:25,471 It still feels unclean. 868 00:40:26,274 --> 00:40:27,707 It's like 869 00:40:29,377 --> 00:40:31,444 spiritual spinach in your teeth. 870 00:40:34,416 --> 00:40:35,681 Clean it up, Joan. 871 00:40:38,203 --> 00:40:39,252 You'll feel better. 872 00:41:21,196 --> 00:41:23,162 That's what you were doing the first time I came here. 873 00:41:24,749 --> 00:41:25,781 Remember that? 874 00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:29,185 How much it freaked you out? 875 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,377 You made me nervous. 876 00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,097 Really? 877 00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:42,765 'Cause I liked you so much. 878 00:41:44,151 --> 00:41:46,452 I didn't think that you'd ever like me, so... 879 00:41:48,189 --> 00:41:49,288 Well, you were wrong. 880 00:41:51,876 --> 00:41:52,975 Yeah. 881 00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:56,446 (CLEARS THROAT) 882 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:57,880 I brought my stuff back. 883 00:42:00,502 --> 00:42:03,102 I want all the things that you made for me. 884 00:42:03,171 --> 00:42:04,670 I mean, if you haven't burned them. 885 00:42:09,611 --> 00:42:11,978 You know, I thought I was 886 00:42:12,047 --> 00:42:13,445 cleaning you out of my life 887 00:42:15,650 --> 00:42:16,783 so I could move on. 888 00:42:19,654 --> 00:42:21,587 But the real mess wasn't the stuff. 889 00:42:21,656 --> 00:42:24,290 It was being mad at you 890 00:42:26,928 --> 00:42:29,728 and letting it get so big that I couldn't appreciate what we had. 891 00:42:35,069 --> 00:42:36,502 I don't want to lose that, you know. 892 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,408 Me, neither. 893 00:42:58,292 --> 00:42:59,324 Okay. 894 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:01,493 Thank you. 895 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:05,080 Good night, then. 896 00:43:12,323 --> 00:43:13,322 Good night.